


Memento Vivere

by Enkida



Series: Memento Vivere & Its Bastard Children [2]
Category: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X & Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: Aeons are not your friend, Blitzball, Comedy, Drama, Dramedy, F/M, Farplane Weirdery, Friendship, Gen, Hypellos, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, No Eien no Daishou / Will, Political conflict, Post-Canon, Racial Conflict, Religious Conflict, Romance, Slow Burn, Time Travel, revised and uncensored
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-09-10
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 355,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6747088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enkida/pseuds/Enkida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sin is a memory, Vegnagun is scrap metal and a new era of peace has swept over Spira. It's not enough for Rikku, who is still waiting for her own story to begin. But what happens when her search brings her on a pilgrimage to the past... literally?</p><p>Join Rikku for an epic-length work following Braska's Pilgrimage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Author's Foreword

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Soldier of Spira](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/194761) by rr1963. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skip the foreword and go directly to [chapter one](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6747088/chapters/15745402).

  
Cover artwork by Djpunupipi 

Started in 2006, this truly is my longest (and longest-running) fanfiction ever written.  I dropped it after having children, but picked it up again in 2016 to wrap it up.  I only worked occassionally with betas up until Chapter 30, so you should notice a marked improvement in grammar / sentence construction from that point on.  My deepest thanks to the betas who have helped make this work less of a disaster than it really should be: Fwe (ca 2006-2008) and Ciesste as well as my husband (2016-), and of course to rr1963 who unwittingly birthed the plot bunny for this fic with his own epic work, "Soldier of Spira."

On censorship: the only reason this fiction differs from the one posted on a certain other website is because of fair use laws for music and this extended Author's Foreward.  That's right, I had to censor this fiction for _poetry and song lyrics,_ due to the technical terms of use on that other website.   There is no additional smut or violence to be found.  AO3 will always be hosting the most up-to-date edits, however, so look here for the most polished version of the story first.

When I started writing this, I originally dedicated it to two friends who passed before me.  Since then many other inspirational figures have moved on to greater things, and some of them have had a direct influence on this work.  So for Liz, Val, Monty Oum, David Bowie, Prince, Leonard Cohen, Lemmy Klimster, George Michael and just in general, all of the great artists who were taken from us much too soon - this one's (still) for you; nothing's ever in vain.  
  
The story starts sometime after the events of FFX-2, which would make Rikku 20 years old. I really hate translating fake-language dialogue, so if you suspect something italicized is being said in Al Bhed you're probably right.  Finally, I don't speak Latin (no one does, really) but I believe Memento Vivere roughly translates to "Life Reminder," or "remember that you have to live."

 

**Canon Divergence / Game Nerdery Notes**

Let it be known that no matter what is written in this story, the author absolutely hates Sphere Break, Blitzball, and _every single damn minigame _ you had to play to unlock those celestial weapons.  _~~Damn it, Clasko, **you** train the chocobos~~_ ~~.~~   Let it also be known that the author is a lackadaisical atheist who is not trying to push any sort of religious, political or social agenda onto the readership, no matter what the characters may say or do.

In the real world, the record for a human's longest held breath is slightly over sixteen minutes. Of course the real world is not Spira, which regularly defies all laws of physics.  I prefer to think that certain races (Al Bhed, Guado, special cases like Tidus and other residents of Dream Zanarkand) have developed an increased lung capacity over the years due to the amount of time they spend diving and swimming.

A paternoster (featured in Chapter 34) is a lift consisting of a series of linked compartments moving continuously on an endless belt.  If you can't picture what it is, [this graphic](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Paternoster_animated.gif) may help.

Most of these notes will follow in the chapters they appear in as footnotes, particularly when they relate to video game battle mechanics as translated into writing.  There are a few divergences from the official Spiran timeline as presented by the Final Fantasy Wikia, however, so I'm going to list the major ones here.  If you're an astute reader you might be able to extrapolate spoilers from this list; be warned.

 

**TL; DR THERE ARE SPOILERS UNDER HERE, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

 

Canon Timeline Refresher / Story Divergences

  * Eien no Daishou (sequel novel after X-2) never happened.
  * Will (radio play after Eien no Daishou) never happened.
  * When Rikku joined Yuna's Pilgrimage, she was 15 years old.  This is canon.  When Yuna defeated Sin, Rikku was 16 years old; Yuna's Pilgrimage took at least a year or longer to complete.  This is not canon.
  * When this story starts, Rikku is a little over 20 years old.
  * Kelk Ronso becomes a Maester in this story before Jyscal Guado.  In the canon universe, they were anointed at the same time, one year after Braska's Pilgrimage.  Because of this change, the Ronso race has already begun to be more widely accepted among the humanoid races, but the Guado are still lagging behind.
  * Braska's wife was named Raenn; this is not canon.  She died returning to Bikanel when Yuna was a year old; this is very fuzzily canon, as FFX only states it happened when Yuna was "young."
  * When Summoners summon, they go into something called Rapture, a sort of trance.  This is very much not canon.
  * Recording Spheres and many other things work on the premise of special magic water called "Memory Water" - this is also not canon.
  * Jecht / Braska / Auron / Kinoc Sphere dialogue is _mostly_ canon.  I've taken some creative liberties with them to make them fit into this story, but the bulk of the conversations are directly from the original game.
  * The way thieving works in this fiction isn't explicitly canon (but it doesn't contradict canon either).
  * According to canon, Sin has only been defeated a grand total of five times in 1,000 years, the sixth time and final time being Yuna’s Pilgrimage.  I am of the opinion that we would not have any sort of world culture to write about if a big floating war whale had 950 years to run around razing civilization unchecked.  In this story, Sin is regularly defeated, usually to the tune of 10-15 years apart at a time.  High Summoning is more of a sacrificial trophy than a rare event.
  * Dream Zanarkand is a real aeon, physically floating over the sea in Spira, summoned by the Wall of Fayth on Mount Gagazet.  This is canon.
  * Sin is basically a suit of pyrefly armor gathered together by gravity magic, grown into a grotesque size because Yu Yevon lost control.  This is canon.
  * The Besaid Aurochs losing Tournament games for 23 years in a row / Wakka joining them at 13 is canon.
  * Gazna, Zamzi, Irga and Zev Ronso are actual Blitzball players from FFX.  
\- Zev is a Ronso free agent in FFX. He's also a jack-of-all-trades and the fastest Ronso swimmer you can recruit.  
\- Gazna really is the captain of the Fangs and a midfielder.  
\- Irga starts out slow but eventually becomes one of the best defenders you can get at higher Blitzball levels.  
\- Zamzi starts out strong and remains passable as a goalkeeper throughout the entire Blitzball cycle.

  * Brother, whose name is really "Brother" - this is not a fond shortening of "Cid Junior" or anything else that would make actual sense - electrocuted Rikku with a Thunder spell (magic) when she was young, causing her astraphobia.  She cured herself of this by camping out in the Thunder Plains when she was 17 years old.  Brother is three years older than Rikku, and taught himself how to speak the common tongue when he was 20 years old, just before the events of FFX-2.  This is all canon.
  * Cid is 35 years old at the time of Braska's Pilgrimage in this story.  According to canon, he's supposed to be 27 years old.
  * Maechen is a 1,000 year old unsent dead guy who was once friends with Lenne.  This is canon.  So is everything Maechen says about Alb and the Bedohl race.
  * Keyakku is Cid's eldest son and Rikku and Brother's brother.  This is not canon.
  * Gippal and Rikku are childhood friends.  I don't think this is canon.  Gippal and Auron are acquainted.  This _is_ canon if you go for 100% completion in FFX-2.
  * At the time of Braska's Pilgrimage, Braska is 35 years old, Auron is 25 years old, and Jecht is ~~... let's say~~ 27.  Auron and Braska's ages are canon.
  * The city of Baaj wasn’t yet destroyed and Seymour didn’t seal Anima’s fayth in the ruins until seven years after Braska's Pilgrimage, according to canon.  In this story Anima was transplanted into in Baaj Temple when Seymour was only 18, sometime right after Sin completely razed the city.   Baaj Temple formerly hosted another Fayth which was lost over 200 years ago.  This is not canon.
  * Dona and Bartello are natives of Kilika. They're both 14 years old at the time of Braska's Pilgrimage. This is canon.
  * Lady Ginnem was a Summoner Lulu once guarded.  This is canon.  That she's a native of Besaid is not strictly canon, though it doesn't contradict it.



 

Cameos? What cameos?  
See if you can find them like Pokémon! I may have forgotten a few, so let me know if you spot one I forgot to mention. Some of these haven't been published yet so keep your eyes peeled!

  * Raine Loire - FF8 (she's called "Raenn" in this story as I purposefully misspelled her name before I started with the "official" cameos)
  * Beatrix - FF9
  * Ovelia Atkascha - FFT
  * Godo & Yuffie Kisaragi - FF7
  * Leviathan - most of the FF series
  * Locke Cole & Celes Chere - FF6
  * Angeal Hewley - FF7 CC
  * Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca - FFXII
  * Maqui - FFXIII
  * Galenth Dysley & Jihl Nabaat - FFXIII
  * ... and this one isn't a FF cameo, but Anne Hyuga / Karin Koenig - Shadow Hearts I & II



As usual, all standard disclaimers for fanworks apply.  FFX & X-2 are the property of Square Enix, not myself.  I make no profit from this, and none will be sought (with the exception of reader reviews / kudos).  This entire work is for entertainment purposes only.  Happy reading!  And please let me know somehow if you like it, that always makes my day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story now has a [TV Tropes page](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MementoVivere). I only covered Action / Adventure and Time Travel tropes, so help fill it out if you like! 
> 
> This story now features incredible [guest artwork](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8574022/chapters/19657864)! 
> 
> Memento Vivere would not be in its revised, updated and readable state without the help of my three betas: Fwe, Ciesste and my very own husband. Thank you all for your hard work over the years!


	2. Where's My Happy Ending?

Rikku was feeling cheated. She sprawled herself messily over the deck of the gently humming airship and let the wind wash over her face. It was a beautiful day; then again, almost every day in Spira was beautiful since both Sin and Vegnagun had been defeated. People were so wildly happy that Paine would often be heard groaning about how all the good cheer and smiles made her want to break a few teeth. While usually Rikku was content to let herself be a part of Paine's problem, today was different. Sure, it was just as beautiful as any other day in Spira, full of smiles and happiness and song and dance, but something was _off_. Something besides the fact that Yuna and Paine were no longer travelling on the Celsius with her, nor had they been for almost half a year.

With Tidus' return, Yuna was content to settle in Besaid for a much-deserved rest. Paine, on the other hand, left to serve under Nooj once more, as had the rest of the boys from their close-knit Crimson Squad circle. It was in fact their group that was largely responsible for maintaining the peace and stability that Spira currently enjoyed. And that left Rikku with Brother, Buddy and Shinra on the Celsius; they were still the Gullwings and still involved in the never-ending hunt for spheres, even if their numbers had thinned.

Rikku knew she should be happy, satisfied with her lot in life. It wasn't everyone who got a chance to save the world, and she actually had done it twice in a row! Still, she felt as though something was missing; adventures were well and fine, but Rikku wanted to do more than just save the world. Or more accurately, she wanted to do _less_ than save the world for once. She wanted to find that little niche of contentment that both Yuna and Paine had managed to carve for themselves; she wanted to belong somewhere, with someone. And while she didn't doubt that Brother would manage to make a complete mess of things if she wasn't around, spending the rest of her life with the Gullwings was not Rikku's idea of a good niche. At that moment it seemed more like an unavoidable pitfall. Closing her eyes, Rikku took a deep breath and examined the little ball of discontent in her stomach closely: Yep, a slight constriction in the chest, a sense of restless boredom and a sudden need to sit up and scream loudly.

" _ **AAH**_!"

"Whoa, everything all right up there?" Buddy's voice spilled out over the intercom, and Rikku shut her mouth and blinked.

"Oops, I really did that?" she giggled nervously to herself. Then she scowled in the direction of the huge hatch of the airship, waving a vaguely rude gesture towards the speakers. "I'm fine, fine!" she hollered. "I thought I told you that I wanted to be left alone!"

"Hey, don't chew my head off," Buddy answered almost immediately. "Brother's the one who wanted to check up on you. Blame him!"

"Uuh," Rikku replied, dropping her head into her knees with a low groan. "Why can't he keep his nose in his own business?" she muttered loudly.

The response was almost inevitable: "RIKKU! I HEARD THAT!" Another loud crackle erupted from the speakers, probably Buddy managing to wrest the intercom out of Brother's angry grasp.

"We're just worried about you. So are you gonna come in anytime soon?"

"Alright, I'm coming already, don't get so excited!" Rikku shouted, springing to her feet. She gave her tiny skirt a few cursory pats and turned towards the hatch. The Celsius was flying low today and not particularly quickly, but even so the rush of the wind was incredible, whipping her messy blond hair into her face. "Oww," Rikku hissed, pushing away some of the braids and beads that slapped at her cheeks. "Maybe it's time to cut the mop again!" She stomped towards the door, the wind stinging her face. It didn't help improve her sullen mood. The hatch slid open smoothly and the ever-comforting rhythm of machina at work greeted her, and soon she was riding the large steel platform back down into the heart of the airship.

The Celsius was Brother's pride and joy; custom rigged and lovingly cared for by both himself and Rikku, it was quite possibly the most advanced airship in all of Spira - and definitely the best looking, in Rikku's personal opinion. After their first Home had been destroyed, it became the closest replacement they had found for the original. If she was honest with herself, Rikku loved the airship just as much as her brother did; just being inside of it usually comforted her. Not on this particular day, however; the normally-pleasant whirr of machinery was grating on her nerves and made her feel jumpier than usual.

"Where is it, anyway?" she grumbled to herself, crossing her arms and pacing impatiently across the platform as the elevator was lowered. "Where's my happy ending?" She closed her eyes and blew out a loud breath. The jolt of the platform coming to a stop shook her out of her contemplation, and Rikku scowled into the empty corridor. "Happy endings don't just happen, Rikku!" she scolded herself out loud. "You have to make them, right?" _And if I'm not finding them here, then maybe…_

Like with most of her ideas, Rikku grabbed onto the nascent thought and ran with it before it was fully formed. "Besaid?" she mused out loud. "Naw, Yunie and Tidus probably don't want me hanging around and bugging them again so soon." She strode into the elevator quickly and slammed the button for the cabins, mumbling to herself the entire way. "Bevelle? Nu-uh, no way! I still hate that place! I don't see how Paine can stand it there!" She barely gave a wave to the barkeep as she skipped up the steps and over towards her bed. "Maybe Mount Gagazet. I haven't seen Kimahri in a while…" She checked her thought and looked down at her skimpy clothing, wrinkling her nose. "Then again, it's always snowing there. Brrr, I'm getting cold just thinking about it!"

Sitting heavily on the bed, Rikku rummaged through the mess in her drawer, humming absently to herself as she picked out a small selection of spheres and shuffled a few garment grids through her hands. Before they had parted ways, the three girls had split the collection of small, stone-like tablets between themselves as mementos of their adventures together. Though she hardly needed them for anything other than basic self-defence against the usual run-of-the-mill fiends on the more perilous excursions, Rikku found herself wearing them often out of habit, almost like jewellery. She had even begun to tool up fanciful belts to match the patterns inscribed on the varying tablets. Quickly sorting through her haphazard collection of spheres and grids, she settled on one and began to ornament it with the spheres she had chosen. "Always gotta remember to accessorize," she announced proudly when she was finished, snapping the belt into place. As soon as she did, she closed her eyes and sucked in her breath sharply at the tingle of electricity that raced up her spine; equipping the magic-imbued grids was always a little bit uncomfortable at first. Lulu had tried her best to school Rikku in the ways of black magic during Yuna's Pilgrimage, but apart from the most basic of the elemental spells, the complexity of higher magic had always eluded Rikku's grasp. Wearing the Conflagration Grid was like slipping a pair of magnifying glasses over her magical nerves, bringing her limited capability into painfully sharp focus and augmenting it with a burst of artificial power. After a few seconds, her fingers stopped tingling and she opened her eyes.

"Whew, what a rush!" Rikku yelled, forgoing the stairs in favour of leaping down from the balcony. Barkeep eyed her suspiciously from behind the counter; at least, as suspiciously as any hypello could manage to appear.

"Mish Rikku, are yoo planning another trip?" he asked placidly, slapping his long fingers together.

Rikku flashed the little hypello a wide grin. "Yep! There's something I gotta do, and I've been putting it off for long enough. But don't worry, I'll be back lickity-split! I bet you guys won't even notice that I'm gone!"

Barkeep nodded and blinked at her; she knew that it was his own hypello-version of a smile. "Maybe yoo should tell the others," he added diplomatically as an afterthought.

"Of course I will!  Somebody has to fly me there after all!"

"Fly you where?" Buddy walked in and crossed his arms. "Brother sent me to find you, he wanted you up on the bridge five minutes ago."

Rikku only rolled her eyes and huffed, stomping out the door. She heard Buddy's footsteps echoing behind her and slouched against the wall of the elevator, waiting for him to follow.

"So… are you gonna tell me about this new plan of yours, or you just planning to break it to Brother once we're up there?" Buddy sounded vaguely amused, but there was a hint of concern underneath the question. He held off from hitting the panel that would bring them towards the bridge as he waited for her answer.

" _Well_ …" Rikku began, fidgeting. She hadn't planned much of anything yet, in reality; she was still silently debating where she wanted to go to begin her journey. All she knew was that wherever her happy ending was hiding, it wasn't going to be found on the Celsius in the company of her friends. "I just feel like I need to go off on my own for a while," she finally admitted. "You know, spread my own wings, that sorta thing!"

"Huh," Buddy replied, scratching the back of his head and sounding unconvinced. "You always do your own thing whether we're around or not anyway," he informed her. Seeing her fidget nervously and remain silent, he shrugged in defeat and smiled at her. "Alright, you don't have to spill if you don't want to. Just tell me this. Are we gonna regret letting you do whatever it is you're planning?"

"No!" Rikku replied, falling into a sulk. "Why do you guys always assume the worst about my plans, anyway?"

Buddy laughed, shaking his head. "Because you're Crazy Cid's kid. Because you're related to Brother. Because you know I'm right. I can list specifics if you want. Oh, like that time you wanted to try introducing Chocobo Racing into Bevelle to 'loosen them up' …" he began, holding out a hand and ticking off a finger. Rikku scowled. "Or how about when you took us snowboarding at Lake Macalania?"

"Listen! That was a perfectly fine idea until those fiends showed up! How was I supposed to know the ice was so thin?"

Buddy only shook his head again and shrugged. "See what I mean?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and slammed the button for the bridge with an impatient huff. "I'm NOT going to get you into trouble this time, I swear! I just …" she looked down and rolled on the balls of her feet uncomfortably. "I just need some time for myself, you know? There's some stuff I gotta find, and I don't think you guys can help me with it this time."

"Hmm," Buddy said, regarding her thoughtfully. "We've all noticed you've been kind of ornery the past few weeks…"

"ORNERY?" Rikku squawked, balling her hands into fists. "What's that supposed to mean, huh?"

"… tense, I mean tense," Buddy corrected immediately. "Maybe you're right, though. I guess we could all use a little vacation every now and then." The elevator pulled to a stop, and as the doors opened they could hear the loud cries of Brother leaking through the heavy metal bulkhead of the cockpit as he argued with Shinra. "… maybe this isn't the best place to do some thinking anyhow." The walked out into the corridor, but he paused once again before they entered the bridge. "But you know, Rikku … we'll always be here for you if you need us. You're a Gullwing, after all. That means you're family."

Rikku blinked unexpectedly; Buddy was far more observant than he usually let on. She could see he was concerned for her, and felt a vague stab of guilt that she was planning on leaving them so unexpectedly for an uncertain purpose and with no real goals other than to 'find herself.' "Family," she repeated faintly, giving him a thankful smile. "Don't worry so much, I'll be back as soon as I've figured out what it is that I'm looking for."

Buddy gave her a short nod. "We trust you," he said, and then opened the hatch.

"RIKKU!" Brother's head shot up as she stepped onto the bridge. "There you are! What took you so long? We have sphere waves coming in from –"

"Well they're gonna have to wait!" Rikku said immediately, holding up a hand and silencing her sputtering brother. "There's somewhere I need to go before I can do any more sphere hunting for the Gullwings!"

"WHAT?" Brother yelled, throwing his hands up into the air.

Buddy only shook his head tiredly, giving Rikku a cursory pat on the shoulder before taking his post at the helm. "I think Rikku wants a little vacation," he said cautiously.

"We just came back from that vacation in Besaid two weeks ago," Shinra piped up, looking over his shoulder at the others. "Why do we need another?"

"EXCELLENT QUESTION!" Brother yelled, circling his hands even more wildly above his head. "Though… if you mean to say you want to go back to Besaid to visit Yuna…" he began.

"Hey!" Rikku yelled, jumping up and down. "I need a vacation! Not you guys! _Me!_ Me only! And I'm not going to Besaid!" she added, causing Brother's face to fall.

"Me me me," he mimicked, sneering at Rikku. "That is all you ever think about. What about our treasure hunt? What about the Celsius? What about Yuna?" he added, the last question coming out a bit mournfully.

"Ugh, this is why I don't talk to you," Rikku replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm going on a vacation by myself, and that's final! You guys will just have to learn to live without me. Terrible, I know!" she added with a grin.

"Hah!" Brother replied, glaring at his sister. "This is just another one of your last minute ideas to get out of sphere hunting, isn't it? I bet you do not even know where you want to go!" He crossed his arms and waited with a knowing smirk.

"Hey! That is so not true!" Rikku yelled, stomping over to the control panel. She pulled up the spinning hologram of the world map and stared at it blankly for a few moments, feeling Brother's eyes boring into her. _Think, Rikku, think!_ Squinting, she trailed a finger over the continent trying to pick a destination, when inspiration suddenly struck her. "For your information, I'm going to Guadosalam!" she informed them triumphantly.

Silence fell as everyone spun around to stare at her then.

"Why?" Shinra finally asked.

 _Yeah, why?_ Rikku repeated to herself, feeling their eyes on her. Guadosalam had nothing but bad memories for the Al Bhed; from boasting the location of the Farplane, to being the former home of the people who had destroyed their own, to the simple fact that the Leblanc Syndicate still practically owned the town. "I just do. Don't ask, okay?" she answered with a snap, feeling defensive.

"You really mean to do this, Rikku?" Brother asked, narrowing his eyes at her. He was annoying, and loud, and he had a tendency to overreact to the slightest provocation, but in the end he was still her brother. Rikku smiled and gave him a small nod, and his expression softened minutely. Then he drew his face into a hard scowl. "Fine. But you will owe me big for this, you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Rikku replied, sticking her tongue out at his back. "Thanks," she muttered under her breath, but he gave no indication of having heard her.

**.x.x.x.**

"What am I doing here?" Rikku mumbled, staring at the swirling pool of light that marked the entrance to the Farplane. She thought her adventures with Yuna would have cured her of her reluctance to enter the Farplane, but now those days seemed like a lifetime ago, and all of the old fears were quickly resurfacing.

The Al Bhed didn't fear the Farplane; they did scorn it, however, or at least scorn those who considered it to be a gateway to communicate with the dead. "Everything has a simple explanation, and if it can't be explained, it just hasn't been studied enough yet." That motto definitely applied towards pyreflies and the visions they formed when one entered the Farplane. It was the explanation Rikku liked to rely on when trying to explain why she didn't enjoy visiting it. It wasn't the truth, however, at least not _her_ truth.

Truth, for Rikku, was that she was scared of the things she thought she might see on the Farplane. She wanted to keep her memories of the people she had lost frozen inside of her head, trapped in happier times; letting the pyreflies project those thoughts for all the world to see felt not only like a violation of her privacy, but also a release; that somehow, they would steal her happy memories away and leave her alone with only the sadness.

She paced outside of the gate of light nervously; the last visitors had long since exited, and considering the late hour it was unlikely that any more were going to come through that night. Not that anyone could ever tell what time of day it actually was in Guadosalam; the underground community was perpetually lit with a sleepy evening atmosphere, while the Farplane was bathed in an eternal sunset.

"Ohh, stop stalling and just do it!" she told herself, grabbing her head and whipping her braids around. Then, biting her lip, she screwed her eyes shut and threw herself through the barrier. A brief, misty sensation of coldness passed over her skin, as though Shiva had blown her a gentle kiss. It faded, though the cool air did not, and cautiously Rikku opened one eye.

"This is it," she breathed, climbing the stone steps and taking in the endless sky and swirling clouds that surrounded the platform. The Farplane was as breathtaking as she remembered it; beautiful and cold and so very, very empty. The quiet song of the pyreflies filled the air, and Rikku shivered convulsively. "Creepy!" she yelled loudly, mostly in an attempt to instil herself with courage and chase away the gentle sighs of the pyreflies. "This isn't as bad as thunder," she told herself, grinding her fingers into her palm and stepping forward stiffly. "Time to face some old fears." She approached the edge of the stony plateau resolutely and looked into the mists below. Color and light filled the air, along with the dull roar of falling water. There was something achingly beautiful about the Farplane, and yet sad … for all the beauty there, it was still barren. "What good are flowers if nobody sees them bloom?" Rikku asked herself, settling along the edge of the rock and letting her feet dangle over the drop. A few pyreflies gathered around the tips of her boots, and Rikku watched them swirl there with detached fascination. _Hard to believe fiends are made out of these little guys_ , she thought to herself. _Not only fiends_ , she remembered. The pyreflies twirled away from her boots and swirled in front of her, and Rikku swallowed thickly.

"Mom," she said softly, looking at the figure that faded into view. Unexpected tears stung at her eyes; it was her mother, floating before her in much sharper clarity than her fuzzy memory could recall. "A-are you really here?" she whispered, reaching a hand out towards the image. But the image simply smiled at her, floating there, strangely alive and yet never changing, never acknowledging her presence with anything more than a soft smile. Rikku let her hand drop. "Just a memory after all, huh?" she whispered, wiping at her eyes. "We're right, aren't we, mom? This isn't a gateway to the past, it's just one big fat sphere for broadcasting your own memories." She felt foolish for her brief moment of wild belief, that it might against all odds actually be her real mother standing there before her. When she looked up, the image was already fading from view.

"Just memories of the dead," she repeated. The pyreflies swirled and twisted again, and Rikku smiled at the man floating before her. "Hey, Keyakku," she said, blinking back another wave of tears. "Long time no see. Father and Brother miss you, ya know. Not like they'd ever say it." He only looked back at her, an almost-smile playing across his face, the same one she had seen on her mother. "Me too, I guess," she added softly. She was glad that he wasn't wearing his goggles this time; she had almost forgotten the green of his eyes. "You always were the responsible one. So be sure and look after mom for us till we get there, will you?" she whispered, giving him a little wave. The pyreflies swirled around him and he disappeared.

"It's not so bad," Rikku reasoned to herself with a small sigh. "I guess… it is sort of nice to be able to say goodbye." She smiled hesitantly to herself. "I wonder if it really is like a sphere projector …" Closing her eyes, she thought hard. Then she cracked them open and let out a small squeal of delight. The pyreflies had reformed, and she smiled at the figure before her. "Hey, Jecht! I hope Tidus doesn't mind me seeing you here," she said as she waved. Not surprisingly, he didn't reply. "I guess I don't know you all that well, but I was just a little curious to see if I could get you here since we never really met in person. Uh, well, unless you count the time that we helped kill you with Tidus … but you weren't really yourself then so that doesn't count!" she finished with an embarrassed rush. She knew he wasn't really there, but it still felt awkward to be saying it out loud. "Sorry about that anyway," she added with a tiny wince. _I don't know why I'm feeling so guilty about this. He wanted to die, after all, he practically asked Tidus to kill him! Besides, if you wanna get technically technical about it, you could say Yunalesca killed him …_

The pyreflies reformed, and Rikku froze in terror. "HOLY MACHINA!" she screamed, nearly losing her balance on the stone. Yunalesca only smiled back in response, her long hair swaying in the non-existent breeze. After a few seconds, Rikku's heart fell out of her throat and she regarded the bikini-clad woman cautiously. "Geez, you're just as creepy dead as you were alive! Or, uh, undead, or whatever you were. Why don't you just … shoo! Go away!" It wasn't working; the more Rikku tried to NOT think about Yunalesca, the more solid her image seemed to become.

"Ahh! I have to stop thinking about dead people!" Rikku shouted, grabbing her head and shaking it wildly. "Think of the living Rikku! How about … uhh … Gippal! Yeah, think of Gippal!" She focused on his cocky grin and his wry smile, and sure enough, the pyreflies slowly dissipated. Unfortunately for Rikku, she now had one highly annoying and still living Al Bhed on her mind. _Why does he have to be so cute?_ she thought to herself in annoyance. There was a time when Rikku had feelings of more than friendship for him; she still found herself getting flustered in his presence much too easily, a fact that he obviously delighted exploiting. "I can't believe I still have a crush on that dork Gippal. I mean, he flirted with Yunie the first time he met her! He flirts with everything that moves!" She crossed her arms over her chest and slumped over. "I don't like people who flirt! Well, okay, so I do, but I don't like GUYS who flirt! They never take anything seriously!"

Rikku suddenly straightened up as the words left her mouth. "That's it!" she mumbled, staring blankly ahead of her. "That's my niche. I'm looking for someone who'll take me seriously." She furrowed her brows, trying to recall the last time that had happened. "Sheesh … when have I not been the resident comic relief for everyone?" she wondered. Then she doubled over and snickered loudly. "When we were on pilgrimage with Yuna, that's when. Tidus was clueless enough to take the load off of my shoulders sometimes! Hee hee … I kinda miss those days." She refocused on the swirling pyreflies as she spoke, and the smile slowly slid off of her face. "Oh, it's you," she said finally.

Auron looked back at her impassively; she noted with a faint sense of amusement that even his pyrefly image didn't have the same half-smile as the others. _That's Sir Auron for you._ _Scowling even in the afterlife_ , Rikku thought to herself with a grin. It quickly faded as she studied his face; familiar tufts of grey at his temples, the jagged scar running across one eye and the high collar of his cloak obscuring his expressive lips. She almost wished that it wasn't there so she could see his face in its entirety; the pyreflies, however, formed images out of memory, and she couldn't recall a time when he had ever let his guard down enough to show her his entire face.

"This isn't fair," she told him, pulling her knees up under her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs. "Yunie got Tidus, and Paine got Nooj. Well, I guess that means she got Leblanc, too, so there's some kind of justice in that, huh? But she also got Baralai and Gippal. And what do I have? Brother, and Buddy and Shinra. I guess they're not bad, but … I'm beginning to think I don't have a knight in shining armor waiting for me anywhere, you know?" Rikku rolled her eyes upwards, not that this Auron could actually see the gesture and appreciate it. "That's a real confidence booster."

Auron said nothing; in that sense, the image was very much in keeping with the man she remembered.

"Ugh, I feel stupid, talking to myself like this," she told him conversationally. "It's easier to say it now that you're sorta here, though. That's what I really came for, I guess. To deal with my … issues." She laughed lightly, trying to avoid the inevitable. That, of course, only made his image sharpen and solidify even more.

Contrary to popular belief, Rikku wasn't stupid. There was a reason there were no knights in shining armor waiting for her, and she knew perfectly well why as she looked at it. It was the same reason Paine teased her for stubbornly using her samurai dressphere despite the fact that she had no upper arm strength worth speaking of; the one that she was fairly certain Yuna knew of by the red cloth that cloaked her every time she activated it. Yuna had spent her time carrying Tidus' sword, and Rikku … she had chosen to carry Auron's. "No one even comes close," she told him with a wry smile. "I guess it is kind of hard to compete with a dead legend." Her face fell, and she wished more than ever that she could reach out and touch him, that he would be real.

"Why'd you have to be the first one to really see me? To see I wasn't just some idiot girl and take me seriously? Why'd it have to be someone like you?" she asked him. "And why'd you have to die before I could even tell you how I felt?"

The image was silent, unchanging except for the phantom breeze that ruffled his hair. This Auron had no answers for her; she could easily hear what he would say, had he still been there.

 _There never was a chance. I was already dead, long before you came_.

"But you were still real," she protested helplessly. "Now you're just a memory, like mom and Keyakku, too dead to love me back but still alive enough to make me miserable." She sighed bitterly and dropped her forehead into her knees, blocking his image from her sight. "Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, they say," she choked out. "Not like I'd know, huh, Auron? Seeing as how I'm landing face-first into that never loved at all crowd."

Rikku kept her head planted firmly in her knees and thought about crying, but the tears wouldn't come. Five years was a long time to spend weeping over unrequited love, and Rikku wasn't the moping type. Instead, she was filled with a bitter sense of injustice. She wanted to spring to her feet and scream that it wasn't fair, that she deserved another chance, or at least the opportunity to have caught her heart and brought it back safely before Auron could carry it away, dissolving it with his measured steps and his pyreflies and his refusal to look back _just one last time, please!_

When she felt certain that she was finished with _not crying_ , Rikku lifted her head and looked up warily. He was still there, unmoving, unchanging, though at least the image had fuzzed slightly. She could see the bright specks of light shining through his heavy red coat, lazily twisting through his chest, sometimes brighter, sometimes almost completely obscured by his figure. "I guess I have to leave you first this time," she told him apologetically.

Tucking her feet in, Rikku pushed off the ground and rolled into a standing position. Afterwards, in the brief moment between her rational realization of gravity's consequences and raw panic, she had time to analyze what caused her to trip. It might have been because she was sitting in the same position for so long that her legs fell asleep. Or it might have been the sudden, unexpected gust of wind that swept across the still plateau as she rose. The way she had situated herself directly on the edge of the rock certainly didn't help at all. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fleeting feeling of being pushed, ever so gently. Whatever the reasons, she was falling in a bundle of flailing limbs and flying hair, watching the plateau grow smaller with each passing second.

Rikku had always imagined she would have something witty to say just before she died. "Banzai!" perhaps, or "So long, nice knowin' ya!" or maybe even "If I'm going down, you're coming with me!" Instead, all she could do was gasp soundlessly and make a futile grasp for the safety of the stone that disappeared into the mists far too quickly for her liking.

_This is not my happy ending! I don't want to become a fiend! Wait, can you even become a fiend in the Farplane? Maybe I won't need to get sent because I'm already here, so everything will work out just fine. Well, except for the fact that I DON'T WANNA DIE OH GOD OH GOD OHGOD—_

Everything went white. Or perhaps it was always white; the living were cautioned not to spend too much time in the Farplane because things were different there; time and space melded together. The Farplane was the realm of the spirit, and did not follow the rules of logic and flesh; those who tried to stay there would go stark raving mad, or so they claimed. Though she couldn't remember having had the time to fall asleep, when Rikku woke she realized that she was no longer falling. She wasn't standing on solid ground either, however; she was floating weightlessly, surrounded by cool white mists.

"Am I dead?" she asked herself breathlessly. _Is this what it's like to have died? I don't feel any different._ Experimentally, she held her hand in front of her face and squinted at it. It looked solid. Impulsively, she brought her fingers to her lips and bit down hard.

"OWW!" she yelled, drawing her hand away and shaking it out rapidly. Small flecks of blood were welling underneath the bite marks, and it stung painfully. "Feels like I'm alive," Rikku muttered cautiously. Raising her hand again, she tried one last time. _Pyrefly-pyrefly-pyrefly!_ she instructed her fingers sternly. They remained solid no matter how much she tried to convince them to scatter. After a few more attempts punctuated by grunts, Rikku gave up and decided to assume that she was probably not dead.

"Where am I?" she asked, twisting around and trying to make out anything in the thick mist.

"You're in the Farplane," a voice answered, and Rikku yelped and spun around to face it.

"You… don't I know you from somewhere?" Rikku said uncertainly, eyeing the strange boy who was floating before her. His eyes were hidden by the heavy purple hood that was pulled low over his head. A slight smile twisted at his lips and he nodded at her.

"Yes," he told her. "We've met." He turned his back to her and Rikku's eyes were drawn to the elaborate wheel pattern embroidered on the back of the boy's shirt.

"You're a Fayth!" Rikku blurted out suddenly, covering her mouth with her hands. "You're—"

"What do you want?" Bahamut turned and regarded her silently.

Rikku balked and gaped at the phantom child. "I dunno, like, maybe not to die?" she yelled in frustration.

"All living things die. That is how it should be. Anything else would be cruel," Bahamut told her reasonably. "What do you want?" he asked her again.

 _I must be hallucinating_ , Rikku thought to herself hazily. _Maybe I landed in that huge field of flowers on the bottom and hit my head or something._ She rubbed her fingers together and winced at the sting of her bite wound. "I think I want to wake up," she said out loud.

The boy sighed softly and shook his head at her. "If you don't want to dream, then why did you come here?" he asked.

 _Dream?_ Rikku thought, confused. "I don't know why I came here in the first place," she said defensively. _Liar_ , she admonished herself guiltily.

"Liar," Bahamut echoed. "You're just afraid of your dream."

"Well he's kind of a scary guy, don't you think!" Rikku blurted out, exasperated. "Even if he is… dead," she added more quietly, feeling her heart constrict in her chest.

"What do you want?" Bahamut asked her again patiently.

Rikku closed her eyes and let herself float in the mists. "I want…" She took a deep breath and tried to chase away all the worries and distractions that were clamouring for attention in her head. _Keep it simple_ , she told herself sternly. _Why did I come here?_

"I want my own story."

"Hmm," she heard Bahamut say; it sounded like he was laughing with the light, carefree melody of a child. Yet underneath she heard a low rumble, a growl from the mouth of a dragon. And suddenly his voice seemed too old despite its youthful tone. "I can only open the door. You will still have to find your story by yourself."

Rikku craned her neck towards the voice, but her eyelids were too heavy to open; she was still floating, but her body felt like lead. "Why are you helping me?" she struggled to ask. "I'm not Yuna. I'm not even Paine! I'm just Rikku."

"Rikku is Rikku. That should be enough," she heard him say.

 _Or wasn't it Kimahri who had told me that? On Yuna's Pilgrimage …_ Rikku made the effort to pull her lips into a slight frown. "I … don't want … another … adventure …" she murmured, fighting to stay awake against the oppressive heaviness.

"What do you always say Rikku?" she heard Keyakku tell her teasingly as he handed her a wrench. "Three's a charm."

"Not … again … !"

Yuna was peering at her anxiously, worried by what she had seen after Rikku first activated the dressphere. "Do you really love him?" she asked her cousin softly.

"Who?" Rikku whispered, barely conscious.

"You know who," he answered, and she snapped to attention, struggling to stay awake.

"Auron?" Rikku asked, but her eyes wouldn't open.

"Did you mean what you said, about loving and losing?"

She could almost feel his breath on her face; _breath?_ Had he even breathed when he was not-alive? "Auron … don't go," she cried. "Don't leave again, at least not without looking back." She let out a small whine of dismay as she felt his presence fading away.

"You'll have to choose what you love more in the end … Are you sure?"

"Choose? I just want to see you again," she mumbled. "See you really, not just my own memories. Even just … to say … g'bye." Her words slowed and slurred together as she lost control of her tongue.

"Remember your words," Rikku heard Bahamut say faintly. And then she felt as though she was being pulled apart, lifted, and she could feel her bones separating, and she didn't think bones could feel and it hurt so very much and it tickled all over and even if she knew she wasn't dead she sure as hell couldn't be alive to feel this and then—

"Jump."

Suddenly Rikku knew she was falling again, falling through the Farplane like before, the mist rushing past her ears and whistling through her hair, and that this time nothing would stop her. She was going to land in a field of flowers and die a messy, splatty, ugly death without ever having said anything cool before going, and nobody would even take the time to send her because she was already in the home of the dead.

" _Jump! Now!_ "

A tickling in her head, a reminder … Bahamut's childish voice intruded on her thoughts again; he sounded almost urgent.

 _How can I jump? I'm already falling!_ Rikku mused wildly, flailing her arms out.

"You must not fear your dreams. Jump."

But …

"Things are different in the Farplane."

 _That was me,_ Rikku thought with a start. _That was what I told myself earlier! Time is different here. Space is different here._ She turned herself into the wind and spread her arms.

_And hope… that's also different here._

Rikku jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 06/16: Minor, minor edits here from the FF.net version. Mostly the removal of repetitive phrasing / excess adverbs and the proper return of italics.


	3. Bevelle, All Over Again

Singing. Voices were singing to her, Rikku realized groggily. She blinked once, twice, then tried to shut her eyes and fall back asleep. Beautiful voices, men, women and children, all harmonized perfectly into an achingly familiar chorus, forcing her to stay awake. "Why?" she mumbled, feeling her insides curl. She knew the words to the song, just as any Spiran would.

_Dream, Fayth. Forever and ever, grant us prosperity._

"No," Rikku murmured, opening her eyes again. The light of the pyreflies dazzled her, spinning lazily in and out of her vision before slowly drifting away into the dark sky. " _No_ , this is a nightmare," she told herself firmly as the never-ending melody began anew. The Hymn of the Fayth was a heart-rending song, beautiful and terrible at the same time. To hear the song was to hear the Fayth. But where there was Fayth, there was also Sin.

Rikku shut her eyes again and tried to ignore the black sky and the feel of the cool concrete beneath her cheek. "Let this be a dream, just a dream," Rikku said again, clenching her hands into tight fists. Her fingertip stung sharply, and Rikku's eyes flew open. The wound from her bite was still there, slightly crusted over now and throbbing dully where she had worried the scab. And the Hymn still floated above her, sung as it only could be by the Fayth.

"This can't be happening…" Rikku mumbled as she sat up and rubbed her head. She took in her surroundings slowly. It was night and she was fairly certain she was outdoors; however, the tall, dark buildings rising all around her obscured her vision of the sky. Cradling her pounding head, Rikku carefully scrambled to her feet and leaned on the wall. She let out a sigh of relief as a quick check revealed that she was still all in one piece.  That was where the good news ended; she still had no idea where she was or how she had arrived there.

Cautiously, she pressed her back against the building and crept down the alleyway; she could see the dim, artificial light of the street beyond and the shadowy forms of figures as they moved about the road. The Hymn of the Fayth was unusually loud, but no one seemed to notice or pay it any mind. Reaching the end of the alley, Rikku steeled herself and leaned out, looking up into the city.

Ornate, brightly-colored buildings rose high into the sky; banners flapped from the roofs of several of the structures. The street was bustling with activity; people mingled together in large crowds as they went about their business, forming a teeming morass of humanity. It was a sight Rikku recognized immediately, and she pulled back into the alley quickly with a quiet gasp.

"What the heck…" she whispered furiously, her hands automatically reaching for her daggers and pulling them out. "This is Bevelle!"

Only it _wasn't_ Bevelle; not the Bevelle Rikku was familiar with, the one that Paine called her new stomping grounds and the seat of the Spiran government coalition. This was the Bevelle of the past - the manipulative, fearsome religious power that gave the Al Bhed nightmares. The flags and banners that flapped in the wind prominently displayed the symbol of Yevon and heavily-armed guards patrolled the streets with stern expressions. Priests and warrior monks could be seen wearing their old uniforms, bowing and saluting to each other as they went their separate ways.

"I'm in hell!" Rikku squeaked, taking a quick look at herself. She slid deeper into the safety of the alley, her numb fingers methodically feeling around her pockets for any sort of defence she could muster. And she would need it; with her outlandish mode of dress and long yellow hair, Rikku knew her appearance screamed poster girl for the entire Al Bhed race.

"This must be that aeon's idea of a sick, sick joke," she moaned to herself as she sprinted down the alley towards the opposite end of the street, trying to orient herself. "I knew I should've taken Paine up on that offer to tour through Bevelle before." She grit her teeth and peeked out of the other end of the alley. Then her step faltered and she stopped, mouth dropping open.

The Hymn of the Faith swelled to an unbearable level, and Rikku covered her ears and felt the color drain from her face. "That isn't right…" she mumbled in shock. There was a huge crowd gathered on the street; the people were watching a strange religious ceremony taking place in front of the ornate palace of Bevelle. That wasn't what had stopped Rikku cold; it was the participants that had shocked her.

"From henceforth," the quavering voice cried out, rising over the murmurs of the people gathered there, "… we shall accept the Ronso into Yevon's fold as one of our own, for we are all brothers and sisters of Spira. Go now with the blessing of Bevelle and spread the word unto your people. The mercy of Yevon shall be known to all who open their hearts to the Teachings!"

The massive, blue-furred creature straightened and turned, and Rikku felt her insides turn to lead. "Maester Kelk…" she gasped. Only he wasn't dressed as a Maester, and he did not yet wear the long white beard that set him apart from his brethren. Most importantly, however, Kelk was very obviously _not dead_. Though Rikku couldn't be sure that the same was true of Maester Mika, who stood at the Ronso's side, dwarfed by his huge companion. She even spotted someone who looked very much like Kinoc hovering behind them, though he was sporting much more hair and less paunch than she remembered. Kinoc stepped forward and raised his arms towards the people, a broad smile on his face.

"Praise be to Yevon!" she heard him yell, and the crowd erupted into wild cheers.

 _No. No, no no NO!_ Rikku thought wildly, grabbing her head and shaking it. "This isn't right! It's not Spira! It's not _my_ Spira!" She didn't even realize she was shouting as she doubled over and tried to force herself to wake out of her nightmare. "Yevon is dead! Sin is dead! We paid for it already! We paid with blood and lives and hearts and Fayth and this is all a lie!"

A small crowd was beginning to form around her, and gasps went up as they recognized her race. Rikku ignored them, stumbling towards the palace that she knew housed the aeon within its depths. "Take me back home!" she yelled at it, as though Bahamut would be able to hear her through the thick stone walls. "I knew you guys were cruel, but how could you do this to me? How could you let Yunie's sacrifice go? How could you bring me back here? It's all wrong here and HOW COULD YOU!"

Her last scream was muffled as the first guard tackled her, and Rikku automatically ducked and shrugged him off, sending him flying with an elbow to the chin. She turned and sprinted for the palace, bowling through the surprised guards; the only thing she knew was that she had to get to the Chamber of the Fayth, to see the strange dragon-child and demand to be returned to her own reality.

"She's going for Mika!" someone shouted and the crowd screamed and parted. She heard the click of a gun and reached into her pouch, throwing a flash bomb behind her. It exploded simultaneously with the retort of the rifle, and people began to run in every direction, panicking. Rikku ignored them all, intent on breaking through into the palace; she stumbled and slowed down but refused to stop as another rifle cracked sharply and pain exploded in her shoulder.

"Damn! Alright, use some dream powder!" she heard another guard yell. A smoking canister landed at her feet and without pause Rikku picked it up and chucked it back in the direction that it had been thrown from. More cursing erupted behind her, and Rikku covered her mouth and held her breath, charging past the few remaining guards. _Almost there_ , she thought wildly, lunging onto the dais and sweeping towards a very surprised Mika. Her sprint came to a painful halt as Kelk finally flung himself into her path, planting a meaty blue fist into her stomach. And then for the second time that day, the world exploded into white, and Rikku passed out.

**.x.x.x.**

"Ugh… I think I liked waking up better the first time," Rikku winced. Her entire body ached, and her shoulder was killing her. _What the heck did I do?_ _It feels like a chocobo's been having a dance party on my stomach! Did I try wrestling with Paine again or something?_

"You're finally up," a gruff voice greeted her.

"No I'm not," Rikku replied immediately, keeping her eyes shut and trying to pinpoint why it felt like her shoulder was on fire. _Better heal that first_ , she thought groggily, reaching for her pouch. Her hand closed over her hip onto empty air, and her eyes shot open. "My stuff! It's gone!"   She tried to sit up and flopped back down instantly as her body protested to the motion. With a growing sense of apprehension Rikku felt around her waist and noticed her entire belt missing, including the garment grid. "Oh no!" she groaned.

"'Course your stuff's gone! You don't think they let you keep your gear in prison, do ya?"

Rikku forced her eyes open and glared at the source of the voice. "Shut up!" she yelled. Then her eyes widened and memory returned like a sledge hammer striking her forehead. There was no doubt about it; from the messy brown hair to the twisting tattoo across his chest, it was definitely Jecht who was leaning against the wall in the cell across from her own, giving her an amused smirk. "Juh-juh-juh…" she gawked, staring at him.

Jecht smiled and puffed up smugly, tapping his chest with a thumb. "Like what you see, huh?"

" _Jecht_! You're Sir Jecht!" Rikku finally managed to gasp out, pain momentarily forgotten as she regarded him with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Jecht crossed his arms and looked puzzled. "Now, that's the first time I got a proper reaction ever since I arrived in this crazy town. Figures it would come from a loony," he grumbled to himself.

"Who're you calling a loony?" Rikku shot back immediately, her shock disappearing momentarily under indignation.

"That's what them guards called you. Some kinda loony from Al's bed. If this is where sleepin' with Al lands ya, you should probably dump the guy!" He took a moment to laugh at his own joke while Rikku could only stare, then gave her another broad smile. "So you've heard of me, huh? You a Blitzball fan?"

"No I'm not!" Rikku snapped at him, annoyed by his overbearing self-confidence. "Are you really Sir Jecht?" she repeated, sitting up slowly and dragging herself towards the bars to get a better look at him.

Jecht frowned and scratched the back of his head; for a moment he looked so much like Tidus that Rikku thought she would burst out laughing. Then she remembered that he thought she was crazy already and bit down on the impulse.

"I dunno why the hell you keep calling me that 'sir' junk, but yeah. Jecht's my name, Blitzball's my game." He gave her another practiced smile and posed, and Rikku resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Wow… Tidus wasn't joking about his ego," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Jecht asked, lowering his eyebrows curiously.

"A-a-ah," Rikku fudged, fidgeting with her braids. The movement caused her to hiss in pain and she carefully reached back and touched her shoulder. When she drew her hand away, it was covered with flakes of dried blood. "Ouchie," she said miserably, trying to feel around the wound.

" 'ey, girl, you okay?" Jecht asked, looking at her with a little concern. "You were bleedin' pretty bad when they brought you in. I think they gave you some kinda medicine before they dumped ya. What'd you do anyway?"

Rikku scowled and gave up trying to assess the wound in her shoulder. "I was born, that's enough for these Yevonites," she muttered angrily.

"Yevawhats?" Jecht asked, confused.

"Yevonites," Rikku repeated, shaking her head. Then, feeling slightly guilty, she cleared her throat. "Listen, maybe you should try to keep your mouth shut about being a famous blitzer and stuff around the other people here. _And_ … maybe you shouldn't go around telling people where you're from, too. The Zanarkand they know isn't exactly the same Zanarkand you come from anyway."

"You know I'm from Zanarkand!" Jecht repeated, eyes lighting up. "Man, I thought I was goin' crazy here! So you believe me then?" he asked eagerly.

 _I'm digging a hole, I just know it. What to say, what to say…_ "I… uh… I've seen you blitz before. On… spheres. Yeah, that's it, spheres! I've seen spheres of you blitzing! So, umm… _yeah_. I believe you. But I bet no one else will!  'Cause... they haven't seen the, uh, the spheres."

"My games were always prime time material! Whadda ya mean nobody's seen 'em?" Jecht sputtered.

"They broke!" Rikku said with a nervous laugh.

"What broke?" Jecht asked, looking even more upset.

"Boy, you really are dense! The spheres of you playing Blitzball," Rikku replied, exasperated.

"Well, what the hell are spheres?" Jecht threw his hands up in frustration.

Rikku sighed and sat back. "You really are from another world," she murmured quietly. Then, brightening, she snapped her fingers. "Here, I'll show you!"  She reached into her hair and felt around underneath her bandana.

"Eh?" Jecht said, watching Rikku as she spilled her braids out of their messy holder and sorted through them. "What're ya doin' now?"

"Hah, they didn't get them all," Rikku cheered, flashing Jecht a victory sign as she unwound a glowing blue orb from one of her braids. She hadn't even remembered hiding away her precious dresspheres while she was running through the alley; sometimes she was grateful that her thieving fingers could work on autopilot even if her mind was miles away.  "Sometimes it's good to have big hair, remember that!" she told Jecht smugly, giving the sphere a cursory examination.

"Huh. Maybe if you like the bird nest look," Jecht replied with a grin, causing Rikku to scowl and stick her tongue out at him.

"Like you're one to talk, Mr. I-Need-Grooming-Badly! For your information, _this_ bird's nest is the reason I can show you what a sphere is at all, so you better be thankful!" Rikku huffed. She held her personal thief dressphere; the one she had recorded of filching tools out from under her father's nose. She kept it more as a keepsake than anything else, since she didn't need the augmentation of the sphere to bolster her pick-pocketing abilities; thieving was Rikku's favourite pastime, after all. "This is a sphere. You can use it to record stuff that happens, and play it back later if you want to remember," Rikku explained patiently.

"Huh, kind of like a camera then?" Jecht asked, eyeing the sphere curiously.

"Yeah, we can make cameras out of these too, though that doesn't happen much outside of Luca..." Jecht's eyes were glazing over as she babbled, and Rikku bit her lip and reconsidered her generosity. _Father's on this. And if Jecht's here, then maybe uncle Braska…_

"Oi!" Jecht said impatiently, interrupting her. "I thought you were gonna show me this sphere thing!"

"Ahh," Rikku said, laughing a little too loudly as she discretely deleted the recording on the sphere. "Well… umm, I forgot that this one is blank. So there's nothing to show you here yet!"

Jecht only snorted and sat back with a look of disbelief. "Man, you _are_ an airhead. Maybe they were right, you really are crazy," he grunted. "Why use spheres when you could just grab a camera anyway? It's stupid," he grumbled to himself.

Rikku scowled at Jecht and held her sphere up defiantly. "Spheres _are_ cameras, you idiot! I'm not lying, and I'll prove it! I'll make a recording of you right now and we'll see who's the stupid one, huh!" She fumbled with the sphere controls, steaming.

Jecht only rolled his eyes and leaned back against the wall with a yawn. "Sure, whatever. Crazy bitch," he muttered under his breath.

" _Ooh, you!_ " Rikku sputtered, holding the sphere up and giving him her best death glare as she started recording. Before she could add a pithy insult, however, the opening door caught their attention.  A heavily armoured prison guard stepped in. He strode into the narrow room and stopped in front of her cell, turning sharply and standing at attention.

 _Hmm… somebody important must be visiting,_ Rikku thought to herself, craning her neck forward and trying to see who it was. And then time itself stopped.

He was _young_ , so young it almost hurt to look at him; she hadn't realized how ruthlessly handsome he would be with his dark hair worn long and two whole, burning eyes. Even as a young man he bore the same stern expression, his lips pressed together tightly and his eyebrows lowered in a permanent scowl, as though he was continuously annoyed by his surroundings. The most breathtaking thing of all, however, was his face. For the first time Rikku saw him without the mask of his dark glasses or the high cowl. And he was more beautiful than she had ever dreamed. Unconsciously, her hand reached out through the bars to try and touch him, to see if he was real, but he brushed past her without even acknowledging her presence. He stopped in front of the guard and glowered at him.

"Is this how you show respect to a Summoner and his Guardian?" Auron said curtly, and Rikku almost dropped the sphere.

 _It's him, it's really him… I'd know that voice anywhere!_ She gaped soundlessly at Auron, still seated on the floor of her cell, and flushed a deep red as he caught sight of her and met her eyes. Then his gaze flickered to the sphere in her hands and his scowl deepened.

"And what in Yevon's name is that prisoner doing with a –"

Rikku gasped and shook her head wildly at Auron. _Please-please-please don't say anything!_   She panicked, silently pleading with him. If she really _was_ stuck in the past, she had a vague idea of what would happen if the Bevelle guards caught a prisoner with contraband material… particularly an Al Bhed prisoner.

Auron's lips twisted slightly, but he turned his attention back up to the smirking guard and crossed his arms. "You will bow when Lord Braska enters."

"He's not a Summoner yet, sir. Give me one good reason I should do anything for that Al Bhed lover," the guard said with a sneer.

Rikku flinched at the tone of the guard's voice, looking down into her sphere. _Ouch_ …  She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be so hated by everyone else; a lance of pain zipped through her chest. Then she pressed her lips together into a tight line. _Never let them see you squirm!_ she told herself strictly.   _Yeah, that's me… cool as a cucumber, Rikku. Be like Auron. Smooth. Cool. You can set this jerk's pants on fire later, right?_

Auron's cold voice cut across her musing; she could have sworn the room temperature dropped several degrees from his tone alone. "Conscious or not, you will bow. Do I make myself clear?" He fingered the hilt of his sword and gave the guard a meaningful look.

The guard paled and swallowed loudly before nodding. "Y-yes, sir…"

"Auron, that's enough." Rikku snapped her head towards the door and almost dropped the sphere a second time. The tall man who stepped into the room behind him was unmistakable. He smiled apologetically, shaking out his long robes. "You'll have to excuse him. Guardians can be quite intimidating at times, can't they?"

"Yes, sir!" the guard replied sharply, pulling his hands together respectfully and giving Braska a low bow. "The prisoner you wanted to see, sir!" he added, clicking his heels and pointing at Jecht.

Braska looked over the guard's shoulder and down at Rikku. Startlingly blue eyes regarded her from a gentle face; _he looks just like Yunie!_ Rikku realized with a shock. He lifted his eyebrow as he took in the sphere, and then, to her surprise, gave her a conspiratorial wink. Then Braska turned and faced Jecht, who was watching the entire display with a look of bored amusement.

"You ladies done prancin' around now?" Jecht sneered, propping an arm up on his leg. "Who are you anyway?"

Braska ignored the jibe and stepped closer to Jecht's cell, tilting his head curiously. "You are the one they call Jecht, the man from Zanarkand, are you not?"

Jecht eyed Braska suspiciously, drumming his fingers on his knee. He shot a stealthy glance over towards Rikku, and she realized belatedly that her well-meant advice might actually be backfiring. Grinning, she tried to give Jecht an encouraging nod and froze when she noticed Auron's suspicious glare.

Jecht sighed loudly and shrugged. "What of it?" he said carelessly.

Auron was at Braska's side before he could add in another word. "Watch your tongue, knave!" he ground out harshly, but held back when Braska shot him a warning glance.

"My apologies. I am Braska, a Summoner." He paused, waiting for Jecht's reaction, but the Blitzball player only yawned. Auron twitched noticeably. Braska let a small half-smile play across his face and dropped his head. "Well… perhaps you'd be more interested in knowing that I've come to take you from this place."

That got Jecht's attention; he stood up quickly and approached the bars of the cell, giving Braska a frank appraisal. "Sounds sweet. What's the catch?" He stretched lazily and folded his arms over his head.

Braska only laughed in response, shrugging his shoulders. "That easy to see, was it? I soon leave on a Pilgrimage." Braska paused, expecting a response, and when none was forthcoming, he shook his head and tried again. "... to Zanarkand?"

Jecht's arms dropped at the same time that his eyes lit up with boyish hope, another trait Tidus had unknowingly inherited. "Seriously?" he asked.

Braska nodded at him and smiled. "I would like you to join us. It will be a dangerous trip. Yet, if we do reach Zanarkand..." He paused and closed his eyes, his shoulders bowing forward slightly. "… my prayers will be answered."

The sphere trembled in Rikku's hands. _How could you pray for that, uncle Braska? Your hope is a lie!_ But she kept silent.

"Huh?" Jecht mumbled, staring at Braska through the bars of the cell in confusion.

"Oh…" The darkness lifted away from Braska as quickly as it had settled, and he gave Jecht an encouraging smile. "And you will be able to go home, we think. What say you?"

Jecht shrugged, a wide grin slipping over his face. "Great! Let's go!"

Both Auron and Braska did a double take at Jecht's easy acceptance of the task. "So quick?" Braska asked with an air of disbelief. "Even Auron didn't -"

"Don't compare me with that drunken fool," Auron cut in immediately with disgust.

"I ain't the one with a jug of hooch tied to my hip," Jecht replied with a smirk, unruffled by Auron's fierce glare.

Braska intervened quickly when he saw Auron's jaw clench. "Then it's settled," he said, pushing Auron away from the bars.

"But I must protest!" Auron sputtered, staring at Braska in consternation. "This drunkard, a Guardian?" The disgust in his voice was evident, and Jecht bristled.

"You want to step in here and say that?" He cracked his neck and pounded one large fist into the other, meeting Auron's glare steadily.

"Hmm," Braska said, a small smile forming over his lips. "There aren't many people who can meet Auron's gaze without flinching," he said to Jecht, surprising the large man. "I think you'll make a fine Guardian." Then he turned to Auron and put a calming hand on his shoulder. "What does it matter anyway, Auron? No one truly believes that I, a fallen Summoner wed to an Al Bhed could possibly defeat Sin. This is what they say. No one expects us to succeed."

"Braska..." Auron protested immediately, but Braska only shook his head and tightened his grip.

"Let's show them they're wrong. A fallen Summoner, a man from Zanarkand ... and a warrior monk, doomed to obscurity for refusing the hand of the priest's daughter. What delightful irony it would be if we defeated Sin!"

Rikku felt her eyes bug out as she stared at Auron. His face was flushed, probably with embarrassment, but also with anger at Braska's frank appraisal of their reputation. That wasn't what fascinated her, though. _Auron had a girlfriend?_   She could barely process the thought; the Auron she knew and romance were polar opposites.  But what if it was true?  A sharp prick of jealousy stung her. Which was followed by an even sharper jolt of disappointment. _But if what uncle Braska says is true, then he shut her down faster than Gippal could lift a skirt._ And then the disappointment slowly changed into humor, and she barely had time to shut down the sphere and tuck it away in her hair before her giggles broke out audibly.

 _Geez … he really was born with a stick up his butt! I wonder what he'd say if he could see me now!_ She realized that Auron was looking at her, and he _could_ see her right then, only this Auron didn't know her at all. And that was the funniest thing of all. "D-delightful … irony!" she managed to gasp out, the laughter escaping her in painful, sobbing breaths as she doubled over, feeling the scab on her shoulder stretch and break open once again.

"Silence, you Al Bhed dog!" the guard yelled, turning towards her and kicking the bars of her cage with his heavily booted foot. Rikku only held her stomach and laughed harder.

Jecht peered at them from his cell uncertainly, then rattled the bars of his own cage with a grimace. "Stop gabbin' and get me outta here! Her type of crazy might be catchin'," he grumbled.

Braska ignored him and walked over to Rikku's cage, kneeling by her side and studying her through the bars. The guard moved to pull him away, but Auron stopped him with a look before he could disturb the would-be Summoner.

"Now how did an Al Bhed girl end up lost in the heart of Bevelle?" he asked her gently. A frown touched his face as he saw the slow trickle of blood leaking from her shoulder, and a brief flash of anger flitted across his features. "She is injured. Why hasn't the wound been tended to yet?" he asked, standing up and fixing the guard with a stern look.

"But sir… she's just an Al Bhed!" the guard replied.

"She's a human being, and she deserves to be treated as one," Braska said curtly. He stared at the guard, who fidgeted slightly, then straightened up.

"She attacked Maester Mika," he said defensively.

Rikku, who had finally managed to quell the rabid laughter that was leaking from her mouth, leapt to her feet and then winced painfully. "I so did not!" she yelled. "That stupid Kelk Ronso is the one who attacked me! I was just trying to get inside the temple, but you guys got in my way!"

The guard spun around angrily, hefting his weapon. "Blasphemer! An Al Bhed, in a temple of Yevon! You should be put to death for this insolence!"

"Silence!" Braska said, his voice rising slightly. He was a quiet, unassuming man, soft spoken and gentle; however, there was something about his bearing that commanded respect from others. Usually it was a quiet something; when he felt strongly enough to raise his voice that power came blazing out, though, cowing others who stood in his presence.

 _His will_ , Rikku thought. _Just like Yunie. That's why he can beat Sin._ Braska hadn't moved, but his presence seemed to fill the room. He turned and looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "Why did you want to enter the temple?" he asked her softly. "You are Al Bhed." She knew what he didn't voice; _you hate the temples. You hate the Fayth. You hate the Summoners… you hate people like me._

Rikku shook her head wildly. "It's not like that!  I… I just wanted to see the Fayth," she mumbled, looking down at her boots. _What am I supposed to say?_ she wondered. _I wanted to force Bahamut out of his statue and get him to send me back home, so I wouldn't have to watch the three of you die for nothing?_ Then she looked up with a glint in her eye. "I just wanted to ask them why."

Braska studied her for a moment, and then gave her a slow nod. "Unusual," he said finally. "Do I know you? You remind me of someone…" he added, squinting at her.

"Y-you know this criminal?" the guard piped up, his face paling. He grew quiet very quickly as Auron tapped the hilt of his sword deliberately.

"N-no! We've never met! Really! I'm nobody special!" Rikku babbled, smiling brightly and wringing her hands. She started to rock on the balls of her feet and then stopped with a wince as the wound at her shoulder pulled even more. "Owwie…" she hissed quietly.

"Hmm," Braska said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin.

" 'ey! You should take her too!" Jecht yelled suddenly, leaning against the bars of his cage. "She knows all about my Zanarkand. Said she saw it on a sphere or something!" Then he smiled broadly. " 'Sides, it's never wrong to bring a babe along!"

"Babe?" Rikku spluttered, flushing red with disgust. Jecht, observant as he was, mistook her reaction for embarrassment.

"Ah, don't tell me you're shy, not when you're wearin' that getup!" he laughed.

Rikku's face nearly turned purple and she exploded in anger. "You're a dirty old man!" she railed, shaking her fist against the bar. "For the last time, I am so not one of your stupid Blitzball fans! And aren't you supposed to be _married_ or something?" she added, planting her hands on her hips. Then she blanched as Jecht grew quiet and stared at her intently.

"Now how would you know that unless you really have heard of me," he wondered out loud, fixing her under his baleful glare.

"Oopsie..." Rikku mumbled, feeling the others turn to her with questioning stares.

"Braska, this is a bad idea," Auron interjected, rubbing at his temples. "First this drunkard, and now an Al Bhed -" he ignored the glare the others shot at him and continued brusquely. "- and it seems they know each other, too. I must strongly protest this, my lord! We don't know what mischief they might be planning."

Rikku balled her fists together and glared at Auron, all of her tender thoughts at his breathtaking younger appearance flying out the window. Well, _almost_ all thoughts; he still had killer lips, especially when they were pursed together so angrily. _Focus, Rikku!_ She fixed her gaze somewhat higher on Auron's face.

"What I'm planning? _Hello_? What about what you and Braska are planning, huh? You just want him to make this Pilgrimage so he can save the rest of us!" she spat out. "Look me in the eye and tell me how anything I can cook up could be worse than that!"

Auron's jaw clenched and he glared back at her but said nothing. Rikku met his stare boldly, refusing to be cowed by his fierce expression. _No way, not this time buster!_ She let out a small 'humpf' of satisfaction as Auron broke off the staring contest first, flushing angrily.

"Oh," Braska said, turning to Rikku and giving her an appreciative smile. "I hadn't thought anyone else could do that to Auron, and here it's happened twice in the space of a few minutes. I think that's a sign," he said with a small chuckle.

"Well?" Jecht said impatiently, baffled by the entire exchange. "So is she comin' with us or what?"

The smile remained on Braska's face as he regarded Rikku. "Are you interested?" he asked her. "It's better than staying here, I think. But ultimately, it is your choice."

Rikku looked at Braska. _Is it? I don't want to make another Pilgrimage… I wanted that time to be over forever._ She winced and thought of Bahamut; if the only way back to her time was through the Fayth, then she didn't have much of a choice after all.

"Yeah," she said reluctantly. "I'll go with you, Lord Braska."

"Then it's settled," Braska said reasonably. "Welcome to the group."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: fixed some clunky sentence construction, Jecht's slang, re-added the nuked italics, consistent capitalization, minor dialogue revisions to more closely follow canon


	4. Debunking A Legend

Unfortunately for Rikku, becoming one of Braska's Guardians wasn't quite as easy as simply accepting his verbal offer. She sat on the floor of her tiny cell and watched with boredom as Braska tried unsuccessfully to negotiate her release with the guard. "Hey, can I at least get a napkin here or something?" she asked, making a disgusted face as she swiped at the blood dribbling down her back. " _Icky_." She cleaned her fingers on the hem of her skirt.

"Silence!" the guard yelled at her.

"Why?" Rikku replied snottily. "Prisoners should be seen and not heard? Well tough, you guys are the ones who shot me, so deal!"

"Insolent little…"

"OWW OWW OWW OWW OWW!" Rikku shouted back at him. Then she gave the guard a fake smile. "I'll shut up if you let me out of here," she added sweetly.

"Miss, maybe you should stop trying to help," Braska mumbled. "Excuse me," he added, louder, bringing the guard's attention back to their argument. "I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that you want to make a Summoner's party out of a band of criminals!" the guard sputtered, scowling at Braska. "Can't you be satisfied with just one?"  He gestured towards Jecht, who was now freed and standing behind them.

" ‘ey, who are you callin' a criminal?" Jecht shot back, crossing his arms and glowering at the man.

"He might not call you a criminal if you would stop acting like one," Auron said sharply.

"Will you all please calm down?" Braska turned around and glanced at the two men behind him. Sighing, he faced forward and addressed the guard who had planted himself in front of Rikku's cell. "We will vouch for her. You have my word that she will cause no further trouble while she is in Bevelle."

"Your word means nothing," the guard said. "Al Bhed lovers can't be trusted!"

" _You_ ," Auron grunted, narrowing his eyes and reaching for his sword.

"Threaten me with violence all you want!" the guard replied shrilly, backing several paces away from the fuming Guardian. "I'd rather be beaten for doing my job than executed for allowing the release of an Al Bhed assassin!"

"Will somebody please tell me who Al is?" Jecht threw his hands into the air.

 _These are the guys who defeated Sin?_  Rikku gawked at their antics. _Boy, you sure wouldn't know it from looking at them._ Then the guard's words filtered through and she was struck by a sudden wave of panic. "Wait a minute, wait wait wait!" she screeched, springing to her feet. "What assassin? I'm not an assassin!" _Besides, you can't assassinate someone who's already dead_ , she thought ruefully.

"The Maesters will determine what happens to your worthless hide!" the guard answered, and Rikku paled.

"No WAY! Get me out of here!"  She grabbed onto the bars and fixed Braska with a desperate stare. "I'm too young and beautiful to die in Bevelle! I'm a free spirit, not a killer! I love sand and sun and peace and freedom and… and… I'm allergic to firing squads! _Help_!"

"There's no help for you, girl. You're going to hang," the guard sneered.

" _No one_ is going to hang!" Braska interrupted, looking upset. "If you would only listen -"

"I say we pound him and take the keys," Jecht offered helpfully, cracking his knuckles.

Rikku shrieked again, rattling the bars of her cage. " _This story sucks!_ If I live through this I'm gonna kill that Fayth myself!"

" _You see!_ " the guard yelled, swinging his rifle towards Rikku.

Auron, who had remained suspiciously silent up to that point, finally reacted. More accurately, Rikku realized, she watched his temper boil over and get the better of him.  Rikku _knew_ that look on his face.  She'd been the cause of it more than once during Yuna's Pilgrimage.   _Uh-oh… when Auron's patience breaks something else usually does too._  She backed away from the bars cautiously.

"Whoa," Jecht yelled, leaping out of Auron's path.

Auron swiftly strode past him and drew his massive sword. He slammed it down in front of the cowering guard, slicing through the heavy iron barrel of the outstretched rifle as though it was made out of paper. A tense hush descended over the group, punctuated by the clanking of the severed metal barrel as it rolled across the stone floor.

"Shut up," Auron said tersely, taking a moment to straighten and glare at all of them before hefting the sword over his shoulder. "Look after Jecht," he told Braska. "I'll see to the girl myself. We'll meet you outside."

"What? Auron's allowed to give that sissy a poundin’ but I'm not?" Jecht continued to grumble even as Braska hooked a hand around his elbow and dragged him towards the door.

"I've found that it's best not to question Auron's methods when he gets into one of his moods…" Braska murmured discreetly, exiting the room.

"Hnn," Auron said, pinning the trembling guard under his stare. He tapped his fingers on the hilt of his sword and frowned expectantly. "Either you can open it up, or I can."

"Y-yes, sir!" the guard said, tripping over himself as he fumbled for the key to Rikku's cell. He managed to swing the door open but Rikku held back, fidgeting as Auron's glare fixed on her.

"Well?" he asked her impatiently. "Are you coming or not?"

"Sheathe that thing first, then we'll talk," Rikku squeaked, hunching over under his scrutiny and wincing as the motion tore even more at the scabbed wound on her shoulder.

Auron narrowed his eyes at her but put the sword away. "Fine. Now come out before you hurt yourself even more," he told her with irritation. While the lack of a wielded weapon did cut down on his intimidation factor slightly, it regrettably had the same effect on the pale-faced guard, who gathered enough courage to protest when Rikku stepped out of her cell.

"M-my superiors will hear of this!" he whimpered, scrambling to his feet and backing away.

"Good," Auron said brusquely. "Tell Kinoc we'll meet him in his office shortly."

The door slammed shut behind the nervous guard, and Rikku was left alone at Auron's side. She realized with a start that she'd grown taller since the last time she saw him; she no longer had to look up quite as much to see his face. The bigger shock was being able to see his smooth, unmarred features at all, though. "Umm… thanks, I think?" she told him with an uncertain smile.

Auron's lips twisted in a grimace, and he grabbed her elbow roughly. "Make no mistake. I do this for Lord Braska, not you."

"Oww! What's the big idea? Leggo!" Rikku protested as he began to drag her towards the door. "Hey, hey - _oww_ \- stop it! I'll follow you, okay? You don't have to pull me around like a chocobo!"

Auron stopped abruptly and twisted towards her, keeping his vice-like grip on her forearm. He leaned down and glared at her, his gaze cold and hard, and when he spoke his tone was clipped. "You are a prisoner of Bevelle and a potential Al Bhed assassin. Against my better judgment, I am about to see to your release and entrust you with the privileged status of a Guardian. Therefore, I am directly responsible for your actions from now on." His grip tightened painfully and Rikku winced. "Don't think for an _instant_ that I condone anything you've said or done. If it were up to me, I wouldn't let you hang." He paused and loosened his grip on her arm. "I'd have cut you down on sight."

"Ouch," Rikku said quietly, allowing Auron to pull her out of the room with a small pout. "But -"

"Conversation isn't necessary," Auron replied without even bothering to look at her, leading them swiftly through the complex maze of hallways in the large building.

"You don't have to be so rude, you know!" Rikku blurted out. "I'm not an assassin!"

"Of course," Auron grunted. "Just another innocent prisoner, then?"

"That's right!" Rikku finally managed to twist her arm out of Auron's grasp. He stopped to look at her but she gave him a shrug. "Lead the way! I'll be good, promise!"

"Fine," he said after a moment, continuing down the hall. Rikku liked to think he let her go free because he trusted that she wouldn't do anything foolish; she could tell by the way his palm lingered near the hilt of his sword that he was actually considering it a good excuse to smite her if she made one false move, though.  Swallowing loudly, she flashed him a flustered smile. _Geez, he's such a hard-ass! Maybe age does mellow you out some._ "So…" she said nervously. "You're Auron, right? Don'tcha wanna know who I am?"

"No," he said curtly.

Rikku scowled. "C'mon, aren't you even the tiniest little bit curious?" She pouted cutely, trying to catch his attention. The pout disappeared when he stopped and glared at her frostily; it wasn't the kind of attention she’d been hoping for.

He regarded her for a moment, and then spoke. "You are Al Bhed." It was all he said, but it was all he had to say.

Rikku felt her face grow slack when she heard those words. _This is a worse nightmare than I thought._ _Sir Auron isn't like this! He treats_ ** _everyone_** _badly, not just the Al Bhed!_ As she looked at him, however, she realized that he wasn't the Auron she'd come to know during Yuna's Pilgrimage. This Auron was younger, angrier, and still very much a proud Warrior Monk.

 _He's one of them!_ she thought with a chill.  _He's a Yevonite!_  Unconsciously she took a step back from him, suddenly repulsed by his presence; his familiar features masked a stranger who she didn't know and couldn't trust, and it left her feeling cold and angry. That she still could recognize him seemed like the worst joke of all; this Auron was a mockery of the man she thought she loved.

He noticed her sudden change of posture and gave her a puzzled look. _Of course_ , Rikku thought bitterly. _Al Bhed aren't accepted as people yet in this Spira. I should really know better than to be surprised by his attitude._ "Sorry," she told him haughtily, breaking away from his gaze. "I just thought you might be curious. My mistake. Please, go right on calling me whatever you want. In fact, why don't you add in a few more nouns to spice it up a little? Infidel, maybe, or scum if that's too hard. _Al Bhed scum._ Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

Auron blinked in surprise and frowned at her. "I -" He hesitated, and when it became apparent that he wasn't going to apologize Rikku's contempt swelled to fill the uncomfortable pause.

"Don't hurt yourself trying too hard there," Rikku snipped, crossing her arms and wincing. "Can we at least save the argument until when we're out of this hole?"

Auron grunted and turned on his heel, continuing down the hallway. Rikku followed him sullenly, glaring daggers into the back of his red overcoat. He remained silent, but the slant of his shoulders was stiff with tension and Rikku ground her teeth together. "You know, your _Lord Braska_ married an Al Bhed," she finally said, unable to keep herself silent. Auron chose not to respond, and Rikku smirked at his back. "Guess you're gonna have to watch what you say around him, seeing as how you're so concerned with the proper treatment of a Summoner." Auron ignored her needling and Rikku wondered if the black clouds boiling over her head might be visible. " _Yevonite_ ," she spat out venomously.

That stopped him abruptly and she almost smashed her nose into his back. She jumped away when he twisted his head around, giving her an angry glare. "I suppose you are proud of your own people's reception of Lord Braska, then. We do have you to thank for driving him to choose the Summoner's path, after all."

Rikku's mouth flopped open and then snapped shut, and she dropped her head shamefully. It was true; she vaguely remembered hearing of the controversy that had swirled around her father from Keyakku. Cid had exiled his own sister for marrying a priest of Yevon, and they lost contact directly afterwards. Her aunt died when Sin attacked the ship on her first return trip to Bikanel; it happened before anything could be smoothed over, and a large part of both Cid and Braska had left with her. _I guess we Al Bhed weren't any better back then either,_ she thought guiltily. The sound of Auron's receding footsteps broke through her musing, and she jogged down the hall to catch up with him.

"Hey," Rikku said as she pulled up alongside him. "Umm… sorry," she mumbled, staring at the floor. Auron's pace didn't slack, and she felt a small tickle of anger. "… since someone has to be the bigger person here," she sniffed insolently.

"If you were an assassin," Auron said suddenly, looking straight ahead, "… then your strategy was brilliant. If not for the Ronso you might have succeeded."

Rikku slid her eyes sideways and looked at him. Was that supposed to be some kind of a compliment? _Wait, I'm not an assassin!_ She scowled at him. "I wasn't trying to kill Maester Mika," she repeated firmly.

"Then you're an even greater fool than I suspected," he finished. His tone was not as harsh, however, and Rikku still felt confused. Too many mixed signals, she thought, her head spinning as she tried to match up her knowledge of Auron with the surprisingly rude young man walking beside her. Was he apologizing? Was he insulting her? She couldn't tell.

 _I guess it's better if he thinks I'm a clueless idiot rather than a deadly assassin._ _Hey, wait-a-minute!_ "Jerk," she mumbled under her breath.

Auron grunted, pausing as they reached a floating lift and waiting for her to board first. When the lift ascended, he turned and gave her one of his _looks_. Rikku squirmed uncomfortably; she knew those looks. He usually used those looks when he was chewing over some issue he didn't want to discuss out loud. Like, 'There is no final aeon,' or 'By the way, I'm dead,' or even 'I am NOT going to spend another night sharing a tent with Wakka.'

"What?" Rikku finally blurted out.

"How did you manage to smuggle a sphere into the cell?" he asked her. He let his eyes drop over her scant bikini in a brief but calculating appraisal, causing her to blush furiously before he lifted them back to her face. "You don't have a lot of places to hide one," he noted wryly.

Rikku crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Auron. "I hid them in my hair, alright, so you can stop thinking whatever dirty thoughts I bet you just had! Sheesh, you're as bad as Jecht!"

That wiped the smirk off of Auron's face faster than a stampeding chocobo could have. "Your hair," he repeated, his eyes landing on the mop of spikes and braids flopping out from her bandana.

"Yep," Rikku grinned, reaching up underneath the bandana and feeling around until she found another one of her spheres. "Ouch," she winced as she carefully untangled it and pulled it free. "See? Pretty cool, huh," she boasted.

"Disgusting," Auron mumbled under his breath. "I don't see how you can stand not grooming yourself."

Rikku's mouth dropped open and then she glared at Auron. " _Hey_! I comb it... sometimes," she muttered, sulking as she fiddled with the sphere. "Besides, I like the natural look!"

"Stop playing with that," Auron interrupted her uncomfortably, glaring at the sphere in her hands.

Rikku jumped at his harsh tone and looked at the sphere curiously, then back at Auron. She drew her eyebrows together and pursed her lips. "Why? It's just a sphere."

Auron stiffened and turned away from her, folding his arms across his chest. The elevator came to a stop and he stepped out quickly and waited for her by the door, ignoring her questioning glance.

"No really, why?" Rikku piped up when she was at his side once more. "Everybody uses spheres. Even Yevon says they're a-okay!" _Ah-ha_ , she thought as she noticed Auron tense. "Oh, I get it," she sang, bringing the sphere up and poking around the controls, delighting in the discomfort that registered on his face. "You think they're part of that whole forbidden machina deal, don'tcha!"

"I don't approve of them," Auron grumbled. He turned his head and flinched when he realized Rikku was filming him, then scowled at her darkly. "Get that thing away from me!" he growled, his voice rising.

"Relax! This is perfectly harmless!" Rikku admonished, holding the sphere even closer and grinning as he jerked backwards. "You really need to lighten up some. It's not gonna suck out your soul or anything. See? You're fine!"

"Stop that. We're here," Auron grit out, pausing before a huge set of elaborately painted doors.

"Sure thing, chief!" Rikku agreed, filing away the information for future usage. _Note to self – death by Auron can be escaped through clever use of paranoid machina superstitions._ The doors swung open, and Rikku closed her palm over most of the sphere, surreptitiously keeping it recording.

"Auron," a loud voice greeted them, "Bringing in trouble again I see?"

 _Kinoc!_ Rikku jumped, her mouth falling open. It was definitely him, though she wouldn't have believed it. His chin was covered with a neatly trimmed beard and a fancy metal helmet obscured almost his entire face save for his eyes. Most shockingly, however, was his lack of girth. _Wow… he could almost pass for someone good-looking_ , Rikku thought with amazement, ogling him in shock.

"I trust you've heard already," Auron responded with a note of amusement. Rikku shot a quick look of surprise at her stoic companion; he seemed to let his guard down around Kinoc, the frown on his face easing slightly. "Braska wants to make this one a Guardian," he said, making an off-handed gesture towards Rikku.

Kinoc sighed and shook his head, pacing around the room. "I know we're friends, Auron, but this is going to take more than just a little string-pulling. She tried to assassinate Mika after all."

"Hey!" Rikku piped up in annoyance. "I'm right over here!" _Maybe he looks better, but he's still the same rotten person on the inside_ , she thought as Kinoc gave her a depreciatory glance and then continued to ignore her.

"Well?" he asked Auron expectantly.

Auron sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "… she's not an assassin, Wen. Trust me."

"Huh, you mean you believe me?" Rikku gaped, her mouth dropping open again.

"She managed to down one of the guards without a weapon, disabled four others with their own bomb and broke through the inner line, and if it hadn't been for Kelk she might have even reached Mika. Do you know how many years people have been trying to do just that unsuccessfully?" Kinoc retorted. He snorted and shook his head. "And now you expect me to believe that this Al Bhed girl, acting completely on her own of course, just got lucky?"

"Hey! Luck is my middle name!" Rikku shouted, stomping her foot. She noticed Auron glaring at her and fell quiet. _Eh… maybe I shouldn't be trying so hard to convince him that I'm a danger_ , she thought with a feeble laugh. "I wasn't trying to get to Maester Mika!" Rikku repeated. "I just wanted to see the temple, that's all."

Kinoc finally turned and gave her a shrewd look. "An Al Bhed convert? What's next, machina in the temples?"

Rikku bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood. _If only you knew…_ She glared hotly at Kinoc. He seemed to note her anger with amusement and took a step closer.

"Quite the fighting spirit this one has," he observed; the lewd tone of his voice made Rikku shiver and back away from him. She discreetly tried to position herself behind Auron's broad shoulders, feeling horribly exposed as she noticed Kinoc's eyes lingering over her body. "I have to admit, there is something to be said for that scandalous Al Bhed fashion," he laughed. "I suppose no one was really hurt in the attack. Perhaps we can come to an agreement after all."  He took another step towards Rikku, his tone dripping with suggestion.  He stopped when Auron shifted his weight subtly, drawing Kinoc's attention.

"Wen," Auron interrupted curtly. "Business."

The other man laughed and shook his head in amusement. "Always the straight arrow, weren't you Auron? You should learn to relax and enjoy the finer things in life."

"I'm a Guardian now. I take my vows seriously," Auron told him.  The temperature in the room seemed to drop a few degrees.

"Yes? Well celibacy isn't one of them, my friend," Kinoc replied, letting his eyes drift towards Rikku again.

"I have no time or interest for Al Bhed women. If you knew what was good for your career, neither would you." Though Auron's tone was insulting, Rikku couldn't have been happier about his timely intervention. Better a hard-ass Auron getting in Kinoc's way than no Auron at all.

Kinoc stopped and gave Auron a puzzled glance. "Fine, you win," Kinoc finally sighed, stepping over towards his desk and sorting through a stack of papers. Finding what he was looking for, he grabbed a quill and scribbled across it. "This is the last time I can do this for you, Auron. We may be friends, but as you said…" He signed the paper with a flourish. "I have to start thinking about what's good for my own career." Blotting the parchment, he rolled it up and handed it to Auron. "Full release forms and a formal recognition of Braska's request. And, should you successfully pass through the Cloister of Trials, you'll have two days to leave Bevelle, no longer."

Auron gave the other man a curt nod and tucked the papers away inside of his coat. "Thanks for everything, Kinoc."

Kinoc smiled wryly and returned the nod. "I know I don't need to tell you this, but guard Lord Braska well."

The tension in Auron's frame eased slightly, and he offered a rare smile for his friend. "That I will. And you'll be busy, too." He looked over Kinoc, noting the crest on his helmet, and smirked. "I heard they made you second-in-command."

The smile fled from Kinoc's face as he turned away from them and dropped his gaze to the floor. "Auron… you know that promotion was meant for you. You were always the better one, even until the end."

Once again, Rikku was caught by surprise, gaping at the man in front of her. _Him, passing up a promotion? Our Auron might have ended up as a Maester of Yevon?_ She squinted and tried to imagine him as an older man, dressed in the finery of a Maester's robes. It wasn't working at all; his fierce scowl always seemed to rip apart the image before it could fully form.

Auron's low chuckle brought her back to the present, and Rikku's insides turned to jelly at the sound. _He laughed! It's… it's… better than the Hymn! Better than machina! That's it! Mission time Rikku, make Auron laugh more!_

"You make it sound as if I was going off to die or something," Auron continued, oblivious to the salivating girl behind him. "I will see you again."

"Yes," Kinoc replied with a tired smile. For an instant the trappings of his position fell away, and Rikku saw the shadow of a man who was kind and good-humored, patient enough to pierce through Auron's gruff exterior and loyal enough to earn his friendship.

 _He fell so far_ , Rikku thought with a touch of sadness. The brief exchange sobered her, and she worried her lower lip. Their parting reminded her strongly of the reluctant farewell she had bid to Yuna and Paine when they left the Gullwings. _Will that be us one day?_ The sudden feeling of homesickness blindsided Rikku and she blinked furiously, trying to push away the telltale tears before either of the men could notice them. _I think I'd even be happy to see Brother again right now_ , she thought miserably.

"Well then..." Auron said, squaring his shoulders.

Kinoc gave the other man a genuine smile, even if it was a little strained at the edges. "Going already?" He chuckled. "You will tell me about Zanarkand when you return, won't you?"

Auron only smirked. "Farewell," he said as he turned and herded Rikku out of Kinoc's office. He paused when the doors shut behind them and looked at Rikku, noticing the sphere still in her hand. "I thought I told you to shut that off," he grumbled, all traces of good humor leaving his countenance.

"Oh!" Rikku yelped, jumping and disabling the sphere. She tucked it away into her hair before he could grab it, giggling. "Well, you heard the man! Let's get out of here before they change their minds!"

Auron continued to regard her closely, and then shook his head. "We will speak of this later," he promised. "Follow me." And once again he took off, and Rikku had to scurry to keep up with his long strides.

"You could walk a little slower, you big meanie!" Rikku huffed as she caught up with him. "It's not like I know my way around here!" They stopped in front of another set of elevators and Rikku held her breath. _Well, actually, this does look familiar… isn't this the hallway where we fought Baralai?_ She blinked and turned when she heard Auron clearing his throat, and noticed that he was waiting for her to step onto the lift. "Oh, uh, sorry…" she muttered, flushing. _Great, Rikku. I bet he thinks you're a total space case now!_ "Why do you always wait for me to go first anyway?" Rikku asked. "I already told you I wasn't gonna try to run away!"

Auron cocked his head and his brow wrinkled in faint amusement. "The Al Bhed have no manners," he observed as he boarded the platform behind her.

"Well neither do you," Rikku shot back, sulking.

"Hnn," Auron replied, though his expression settled into something vaguely less cross than before. Not that that was saying much, Rikku noted. It was like observing that a grenade was slightly less explosive than a bomb. Both could still easily blow up in your face at the slightest provocation.

"So where are you taking me now?" Rikku asked cautiously, waiting as the lift came to a stop.  A few uncomfortable seconds passed, before Auron let out a heavy sigh.

“This is our stop.  Get off.”

Rikku jumped off the lift and waited for him to follow.  “You know, this would be a whole lot quicker if you’d just go first.”

“ _Ladies first_ clearly does not apply here,” he mumbled to himself as he strode down the hallway.  "Kinoc granted you full release forms.  First we collect your belongings. Then we leave."

Joy flooded through Rikku at his words, and she had to stop herself from leaping forward and hugging him in sheer relief. _My gear! My potions, my daggers, my grid!_ "Holy machina, I thought they were goners!" she exclaimed out loud, twirling a fist in the air as she danced. Then she winced and put her arm down quickly. "Oww! The first thing I'm going to do when I get my stuff back is drink a potion!"

"Don't count on it," Auron told her as they stopped in front of another set of double doors. He pushed them open and stepped into the large room. Rikku's eyes widened as she took in the sight; it was obviously a storage and supply room of some sort. Countless rows of neatly labelled shelves stretched endlessly into distance, and a tall counter manned by several priests barricaded access to the equipment.

"Wowzer," Rikku mumbled in awe, her eyes sparkling. It was a thief's personal heaven; O'aka probably would have had a heart attack and died if he could have seen Bevelle's stock. "This is _incredible_!" she breathed, trying to absorb the gleaming weapons and rows of bottles, gems and pouches lining the shelves. Distantly she noticed that their presence was garnering stares from both the clerks as well as the guards who were lined up behind the counters to collect their rations. Rikku shrugged it off. Even a young Auron was intimidating enough to keep the questions at bay, and she was much too busy soaking in the impressive display of wealth to be bothered by the scrutiny. She stumbled over her own feet when Auron pulled her towards a corner of the room, making his way towards one of the shorter lines behind the counter.

"You think they might let us borrow some of this stuff?" Rikku whispered to him excitedly. "You know, for helping out on Braska's Pilgrimage?"

Auron winced and tightened his grip on her arm, and Rikku realized she had been unconsciously hopping from foot to foot in her eagerness. "Calm down," he growled at her. "You're making a scene. And no," he added as an afterthought.

"Why not?" Rikku whined, though she did manage to suppress most of her excitement behind a single eagerly tapping foot.

"Bevelle keeps a detailed record of their supplies," Auron explained to her with an air of strained patience. "If you take something, they will notice." He fixed her with a stern look and Rikku's foot paused. "If you take something, _I_ will notice."

"Geez, fine," Rikku huffed, rolling her eyes. _At least I have my own supplies, and I bet it's better than any of the junk those Yevonites keep here anyway_ , she thought with a satisfied smirk. The line moved forward, and she stepped up beside Auron and tried her best to look innocent as the priest behind the counter gave her a withering glare.

"Order?" he said skeptically, eyeing Rikku over the rim of his heavyset glasses. Auron handed him the rolled sheet of paper and after a brief perusal, he shuffled away from them.   The clerk pulled a small box from one of the shelves. "Here you are," he said, sliding the box over the countertop.

"Gimmie gimmie gimmie!" Rikku cheered, pulling the box over before Auron could stop her and tearing the cover off. She peeked in, and then her face fell. "Hey! What gives? Where's my stuff?"  She stared into the depths of the nearly-empty box. Her curved daggers were still there, neatly crossed, and over them her custom crafted belt was folded. Even without picking it up, however, Rikku could see that her pouches were completely empty. "My potions! My gem collection!" she noted with increasing concern, rooting through the rest of the box. She let out a small breath of relief as she noted that the garment grid was still hooked onto the belt; apparently whoever had sorted through her things had assumed it was simply an overwrought buckle of some sort. Everything else of value, however, was gone. "You even took my bracelets, you Yevonite bast-" her rapidly rising howl was silenced as a hand descended over her mouth and clamped it shut.

"Thank you," Auron told the priest, collecting the box and hauling Rikku away from the counter. He kept his iron grip around her until they were well outside of the room, drawing the stares and snickers of the other priests and guards who observed their awkward exit. Rikku struggled fiercely, too angry to play nice, but he was too strong for her to break free. She even opened her mouth and bit him, but he only grunted and tightened his hold. Finally, when they rounded the corner, he thrust her away from him with a soft curse. "I told you to calm down!" he growled at her.

"They stole my stuff!"  Rikku balled her hands into fists and tried to stomp back towards the room. Auron moved quickly, blocking her path and shoving the now-crumpled box into her arms. "Get out of my way!" she yelled at him, her eyes glinting.

"Be thankful that you had that much returned to you at all," he told her. "Equip yourself so we can leave this place. Braska is waiting for us."

"But -" Rikku sputtered.

"No buts, no excuses and no more theatrics!" Auron roared, and Rikku shut her mouth.

 _Uh-oh, looks like he's mad again._ Then her face dropped into a scowl that probably would have made him proud if it hadn't been aimed in his direction. _Well I'm mad too!_ "That was my stuff! What right do they have to take it? I stole it fair and square!"

Rikku didn't think Auron could appear any more displeased than he already was, but somehow he managed to look even more put out than before. "You're a thief," he said with an air of disbelief. Then he laughed, but it wasn't the warm, friendly sound that he shared with Kinoc that made her insides curl and melt. This laugh was jagged and sharp, and it cut into her, making her feel like a messy grease stain on the pristine marble floors of the temple. "I knew you were trouble."

"So what if I'm a thief!" Rikku stomped her foot. "I spent a long time collecting all that stuff from fiends for your information! That wasn't exactly easy to do!"

Auron only walked past her, the hard smile that was still on his face looking more like a distorted grimace. "I don't believe this," he muttered under his breath.

"Hey! Hey, I'm not done talking to you yet!" Rikku scrambled after him as she strapped her daggers into the belt in her hand. "Maybe you don't give a crap about how I feel right now, but that was everything I had!" Auron didn't slow down, and in a burst of speed, Rikku scurried in front of him and planted herself in his path defiantly. "We have to go back and get my things!" she shouted.

"If your equipment is that important to you," Auron told her harshly as he came to a stop, "why don't you just go back upstairs and seduce Kinoc? I suppose he would be happy to help you for the right price."

Rikku recoiled. "What?" she gasped, her eyes going wide with shock. _Oh, he so didn't just go there_ , she thought furiously. "Is that what you really think of me?"

"What else should I think?" Auron countered, gesturing at her dress, or lack thereof. "You come into the heart of Yevon touting your Al Bhed clothing and morals, and wonder that Bevelle is less than accommodating to your needs. Perhaps you can fool Braska, but you can't possibly expect me to believe you're that naïve."

Rikku clenched and unclenched her fists, looking at the ground in front of Auron's boots and willing herself to count backwards slowly. _He's just being Auron_ , she hissed to herself. _Somewhere in there is a good person, the Auron I know._ _The one who isn't a_ ** _total asshole_** _. Oh, screw it!_ "You're unbelievable!" she exploded, throwing her hands up into his face, though he managed to pull back before her fingers clipped his nose. "It's not just the machina, is it! You people pass judgment on us for every single little thing we do! The way we talk, the way we dress, the way we wear our hair!"

Rikku's voice was loud and shrill.  With a curse, Auron glanced up and down the empty hallway before grabbing her and dragging her into one of the smaller alcoves. "You will be silent!" he hissed, anger simmering dangerously in his low tone. "We are still inside the palace of Bevelle, the seat of power for all Yevon. Is it your wish to get us both killed?"

"Stuff it!" Rikku shot back, glaring at him. "The way you Yevonites talk about us we may as well be dead! You sure seem to think it's a lot better than being ourselves!" Auron's grasp on her arms tightened, and she winced.

"Is that what you call these little displays? Your very own cultural identity? That's a pitiful excuse for Al Bhed depravity."

"That's _exactly_ what it is!" Rikku hissed back, angrily shoving his hands off of her arms. "You wanna talk about depravity? Kinoc's the one who came onto me, you ass! Only someone as dense as a Yevonite could think I enjoyed it! And there's something else," she added, cutting him off before he could speak. "You have some nerve saying those things to me. _You people_ are the ones who drove us out of Spira! You forced us to live on the crusty, ugly, forgotten edges of the world where no one else would go. But we didn't die out like you hoped! We survived, we even grew prosperous."

Rikku stuck out her finger and slammed it into Auron's armoured chest a few times. It bruised her unprotected digit more than anything else, but she wanted to drive the point home literally. "We learned to live in sun and wind and sand and water and you know what? _We're good at it!_ We don't need your morals or your religion to make it out there! We're doing it on our own, and we can show as much skin as we want while we're at it because _yes_ ! We _aren't_ like you and we're _proud_ of it. So take your crappy assumptions and shove 'em, 'cause you don't know _anything_ about us!" She finished her tirade with a pant, heaving and glaring at Auron.

Though he did look surprised by her outburst, his reaction wasn't as great as she had hoped it would be. Ideally, it involved him throwing himself at her ankles and begging for forgiveness. Through back massages. With his lips. She groaned and rubbed her fingers over her throbbing temples. "Forget it, okay, Auron? Let's just find Braska."

"I apologize for saying that."

Rikku whirled around and stared. "Huh?" she managed to say. He didn't repeat himself, and she flushed and played with the tassels of the belt in her hands. _He's such a jerk… and a Yevonite… and an Auron. Shoot._

"Okay," she said. Then, shaking herself, she reached into her hair and began the arduous process of untangling the dresspheres that she had hidden beneath her blond locks. It was a task that was loud and required just enough attention to break the uncomfortable silence that she felt descending between them. " _Owwie owwie ouch!_ " she hissed as the spheres tumbled into her hands, one after the other. She felt Auron's stare and parted the curtain of hair that had spilled over her face to look at him. "What?" she asked.

"… how many of those do you have in there?" he asked her incredulously.

"Just five!" Rikku huffed, sorting through the glowing blue orbs. She frowned and tucked the two newest recordings safely away; without Shinra to check over them first, she wasn't willing to test what "disasterrific" results they might produce on her garment grid. "Great… if I had known this was gonna happen, I would've brought the Machina Maw," she moaned, carefully slotting the remaining working dresspheres into her grid. _Get real… if I had known I would be making another Pilgrimage to fight Sin, I'd have mugged Paine for The End_ , she thought to herself sourly.

"You have a belt buckle that holds spheres," she heard Auron observe with even more disbelief.

"So? This is the latest trend in Al Bhed fashion!" Rikku replied defensively. It _was_ , technically speaking; he didn't need to know that the rest of Spira would have to wait another fifteen years before it picked up.

"Yevon help us all," Auron mumbled, and Rikku spun around to shake a fist at him with her retort. Then she yelped and fumbled with the belt; in her haste she had almost dropped it onto the floor. The unexpected shock of nearly smashing her spheres and grid made her knees grow weak and her mouth dry out, and brought the reality of her situation back with screaming clarity.

 _Holy machina, I almost broke my only real weapons here!_ she thought, gingerly checking the grid for damage. _Gotta be more careful, Rikku,_ she told herself as she slipped the belt around her waist. _Shinra won't be here to give you a replacement if you break something now._ Steeling herself against the usual rush of energy, Rikku snapped the grid into place.

 _Pain. Pain? But why —_ **_P A I N !_ **

" _Augh_ ," Rikku managed to choke out, arching against the wall in shock. The magic grids had always produced a slight reaction when being equipped, but the sudden blast of energy that poured into her when the belt clicked into place wasn't like anything she had ever felt before. It raced through her veins, white-hot like fire and needles; too much magic tumbling into her much too quickly, flooding her body like an electric current racing through water. She was sure the energy was going to come tearing out through her pores, ripping off her skin and melting her into the wall she leaned against. " _Aah!_ " she wheezed again, unable to catch enough breath to properly scream out the agony that was rushing through her limbs.  Black spots danced before her eyes.

Slowly the pain receded, leaving Rikku gasping and sobbing for breath. She noticed her hands had twisted into painful claws and that they were shaking uncontrollably, and she had to make a conscious effort to still them. Then she noticed that she wasn't standing upright; once again Auron had his arms around her, though this time he was holding her steady rather than dragging her away. Another tremor wracked her frame, and Rikku hunched over and shoved him off.

"Are you all right?" he asked her, surprise clearly splashed over his face.

"I - I don't know," Rikku stuttered, drawing in deep, slow breaths. "What just happened?"

"You had a seizure of some kind," he told her, touching her uninjured shoulder briefly. He hesitated for a moment before asking his next question. "Is this a normal occurrence?"

Rikku coughed and spat dryly, then straightened up and shot him an angry glare. "No, it's not. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I'm still fit enough to be a Guardian." Part of the reason she was angry was to cover the hurt, however; for a brief moment, when he had touched her shoulder, it had almost seemed as though he was concerned. That was, until he dispelled the illusion by asking his question. _That's Auron for you. Always business first, see who you stepped on later._

Auron only gave her an appraising stare and nodded curtly. "The exit is that way," he said, gesturing down the hall before setting off by himself.

Rikku remained propped against the wall and glared at his back. "Thanks for being a gentleman!" she called out sarcastically, and heard him grunt in response. _Great… everything's going just peachy right now. Thanks a lot, Bahamut._ There was no time to dwell on the matter; if something was wrong with the garment grid, then she wasn't going to risk paralyzing herself again by taking it off, especially not in front of him. "This is not turning out like I thought it would at all," she sulked, gathering herself together and trailing after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: fixed some sentence construction, un-Briticized certain spellings, adverb removal, no major plot revisions


	5. Rikkma's Arrival

When Rikku emerged from the confines of the palace, the first sight that greeted her was Braska and Jecht arguing. Though Braska was simply standing with his hands folded together, whatever he was saying was having an adverse effect on Jecht, who paced around the Summoner, occasionally punctuating the movement with sweeping gestures. Quickening her pace, Rikku hurried after Auron to greet the other two men.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked as both Braska and Jecht turned and noticed their arrival.

"Oh, there you are. I was starting to wonder if Auron was losing his touch," Braska said with a small smile.

"I wasn't the cause of the delay," Auron replied. He didn't turn to face Rikku, so the effect of her pout as she stuck her tongue out was lost on him. It wasn't on the other two, however, and Braska hid his smile while Jecht grinned openly. Auron bristled but didn't take the bait. Instead, he nodded at Braska. "We should move. It isn't wise to remain here considering our present company."

"Hey!" Rikku and Jecht cried out at the same time, drawing more than a few stares from the people passing by.

"I see what you mean," Braska said to Auron with a slight nod. "Please, allow me to take you to my apartment so you two can get cleaned up." He eyed Rikku's shoulder and frowned. "And healed," he added.

"Oh, this is fine," Rikku said, wincing as she brushed at her shoulder, which was still slowly oozing blood. "I've had worse!"

"Fine for you, maybe," Jecht said, throwing his hands over his head as they strolled down the street. "The rest of us have to look at you bleedin' all over yourself! You should let Auron walk behind you, seems like the type of thing he'd enjoy seein'."

Rikku clenched her teeth and balled her fists up. "I'll bet he would," she mumbled under her breath. Noticing Braska's curious stare, she widened the grimace into a bright smile and turned to face him. "Oh, umm… thanks for getting me out of there, by the way!"

"No gratitude is necessary, miss…" Braska reassured her, pausing to direct them down a smaller alleyway. "... aah. I think you have me at a slight disadvantage here," he noted, giving Rikku a curious smile. "Might I have the pleasure of your name?"

A slightly vindictive grin crossed her face. "Oh, well, since Auron knows my name already maybe he should tell you." _Hah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!_ she thought triumphantly.

The Guardian in question narrowed his eyes. "Your injury doesn't seem to have wounded your tongue. Tell him yourself." He ignored the thoughtful look that Braska gave him and directed his attention towards the street.

 _Parried and avoided,_ Rikku noted with an annoyed sulk. _Still, Braska looked at him funny. I think that counts as a score for me. Rikku one, Auron zippo!_ She hid her smirk as she noticed Braska now staring at her oddly.

"Miss?" he asked again.

"Huh? OH!" Rikku flushed.

"Definitely a natural blonde," she heard Jecht mumble and scowled darkly when Auron chuckled in response.

"Hey, no double teaming!" Rikku yelled at the Blitzball player.

Jecht only rolled his eyes and twirled a finger by his temple in response. "You ain't allowed to talk to me when you're havin' one of your crazy attacks," he replied. "Or don't tell me you forgot your own name now, too."

Rikku fumed and stalked away from Jecht with an exaggerated stomp, garnering a few more snickers from her companions. " _Ooh!_ Boys can be so dumb," she growled. "For your information, I remember my own name perfectly well! It's Ri- Ri-" She trailed off and swallowed. _What do I tell them? What do I do? What if this isn't just some kind of dream but the real past? Will Auron recognize me? No, wait, of course he wouldn't! But… oh my gosh, what if Braska recognizes me? Does he even know about me? Ooh… what to say, what to say!_

The silence stretched out uncomfortably, and Rikku noticed Braska was giving her a polite, if a bit strained smile while Jecht was rolling his eyes again and shaking his head. Auron was directing yet another suspicious look towards her; the frequency with which he threw them in her direction was tempting her to give it a name. _The Rikku Look,_ she thought. _Yeah, that sounds pretty good. Except that I can't tell him it's called that!_

"Ri-ri …?" Braska prompted, interrupting Rikku's brief flight of panic. "That's… a curious name for an Al Bhed."

"Rikkma! My name's Rikkma!" Rikku blurted out. Then she winced. _Geez, that's an awful name. I hope uncle Braska doesn't speak too much Al Bhed…_

Unfortunately for her, Braska seemed to be well-educated. His steps slowed and he blinked at Rikku; even worse than that, he was in a sharing mood. "While I know that there is something usually lost in translation... your father named you _Huggle_?" he repeated in disbelief. That stopped everyone else, who also turned to stare.

Rikku's blush grew so large that it crept down from her face and over her neck. She was actually beginning to wish she was wearing more clothing; all cultural pride aside, there was something to be said for not looking like a roasted wendigo in public. "I was a really cute little kid, alright!" _Well, that much was true._ Silently, she was contemplating whether or not it would be possible to drop-kick her own brain. _Definitely not one of my better ideas here,_ she moaned to herself as the others continued to snigger at her.

"Well no wonder you were tryin' to keep it quiet," Jecht told her with a smirk. "No worries, _Hugglebunny,_ we won't let you forget it again!"

Rikku sputtered and glared daggers at Jecht. "That's Rikkma to you!"

Braska, who somehow managed to recover with dignity, gave Rikku an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," he said mildly. "Would you prefer to be called something else, Rikkma?"

 _Yes, please!_ "No, Rikkma's fine," Rikku managed to say through clenched teeth as her tattered pride died a silent and yet very dramatic death.

"Aw, you sure I can't call you Huggle?" Jecht asked her playfully.

"Really, no," Rikku hissed.

"How 'bout _Huggle-Snuggle_?"

"NO," Rikku repeated.

" _Huggie-Wuggie_?" Jecht tried again.

Rikku leapt for his face and he dodged away, laughing at her. _Damn those Blitzball reflexes!_ "You're so dead when I get my hands on you!" she yelled furiously, diving for him again as Braska hastily stepped out of the way.

"Enough!" Auron suddenly said, bringing the trio's antics to an abrupt halt. "This is neither the time nor the place for such childish behavior," he ground out, giving his _Rikku Look_ to all three of them. "Will you please try to control yourself?" he asked Jecht sourly. "And you, let him go," he added in a warning tone to Rikku.

Reluctantly, Rikku released the headlock she had managed to wrest Jecht into and shuffled the toe of her boot into the dirt. "Spoilsport," she muttered under her breath, and Jecht grunted in agreement.

"Did you say something?" Auron's glare intensified.

 _Rikku Look Mark II,_ she noted to herself, _for personal use only!_ That so far only she had managed to provoke it gave her a mild sense of accomplishment, and she had to struggle to hide her giggle. "No, sir!" Rikku replied sweetly, doing her best to look innocent.

Auron eyed her before turning back down the road. "Fine. Can we continue our journey now, _Huggie_?" he added smoothly.

Rikku's mouth dropped open; though she could only see the back of his head, she was sure there was a satisfied smirk plastered across his face. _Why that little sneak!_ she fumed.

"Hah!" Braska said, shaking his head in amusement as he followed after Auron. "Congratulations, Rikkma. I think that's the first time I've heard Auron make a joke."

"Oh?" Rikku repeated nonchalantly, her annoyance deflating as quickly as it had come.

 _Hmm… Rikku one, Auron one. I really should be minding this a little bit more,_ she thought as a silly grin stole across her face. The dominant half of her mind was deciding to ignore her reason in favor of flooding her with tingles of happiness for making Auron smile.

" ‘ey," Jecht said, cuffing Rikku over her uninjured shoulder and knocking her out of her stupor. "Are you moonin' over a stiff like that?" He gestured at Auron's back as he spoke. "Man, you _are_ a loony." He grinned, noticing her sudden blush.

Rikku sighed and trailed after Jecht reluctantly. "I know," she mumbled.

The remaining few blocks to Braska's residence passed without incident; this was mostly because Rikku was too preoccupied to pay very much attention to her companions. The further they travelled down the small alley, the shoddier the buildings became; the one they finally stopped before was tall and plain, crumbling from lack of repair and very obviously belonging to one of the lower circles of Bevelle's social rings. The entire district, in fact, appeared less than wealthy; just another one of Yevon's dirty little secrets carefully hidden from the public eye by the city's glorious exterior.

It surprised and dismayed her; for some reason Rikku had always imagined that her uncle was well-off and respected even before he began his Pilgrimage. Yuna had never mentioned anything to her about it while they were growing up; then again, in a small village like Besaid the dividing lines of wealth and power were practically non-existent. She let her eyes travel over the dilapidated building and managed to hold back her disappointed sigh.

"What a dump," she heard Jecht echo behind her much less tactfully, earning him an angry glare from Auron.

"I know it's not much," Braska began with a touch of embarrassment, "but it does have all the comforts of home."

Jecht rubbed the back of his head uneasily and fumbled for a way to draw his foot out of his mouth. "Oh, uh… well, it's a nice dump," he tried. Rikku scowled and smacked him on the arm and he fell silent.

"What he meant is thanks for taking us in," Rikku clarified, smiling brightly at Braska. "It sure beats the heck out of the inside of a prison cell!"

"I live here with my daughter Yuna," Braska explained as he let them into the hallway and moved towards a flight of dingy stairs. "She's only seven years old, but I assure you she's very well-behaved."

"A daughter, huh?" Jecht repeated. "Can't wait to meet her!" He smiled eagerly, following Braska.

Rikku ducked her head and held back behind them, worrying her lower lip. _Yunie's still here! I forgot about that… ooh …_

"Changed your mind?"

Rikku spun around and saw Auron waiting for her to climb the steps, his arms folded.

"Huh?" she asked him.

"If you wish to leave now, I won't stop you," he said levelly.

Rikku frowned at Auron and matched his pose, tapping her foot. "You really think I'd just cut out the first chance I got?" she said incredulously. "For your information, I could've left you guys anytime I wanted to! You're just trying to pick a fight with me now, aren't you?"

Auron tipped his head and watched her solemnly. He didn't look upset - at least, not any more than he usually did. Rikku dropped her arms and shifted her weight, waiting for him to speak.

"Unlike Jecht, you seem to know what becoming a Guardian entails." His stare unnerved her and Rikku dropped her eyes to the ground. "No one would think less of you if you decided to leave right now."

Rikku rocked on her feet slowly, an unconscious habit she had picked up whenever she was lost in thought. _He's… giving me a chance to cut my losses and run,_ she thought to herself. _Almost like the Auron I know. I should probably go before I mess things up… taking his advice would be the smart thing to do. But he's being so_ **_nice_ ** _!_

"Come on, if we hang around here too long they're gonna wonder what happened to us," Rikku finally said, looking up at him with a grin. Then she turned and sprinted up the stairs, too nervous to see his reaction. If he was disappointed with her decision, she knew it would shake her confidence. She was more scared about how she would feel if he wasn't, though.

Rikku arrived at the top of the steps in time to see a tiny girl with an unruly mop of brown hair come barrelling out of the apartment and into Braska's outstretched arms. He laughed loudly and scooped the girl up, spinning her around before settling her against his chest.

"Yunie," Rikku whispered to herself as she caught sight of the girl's mismatched eyes. Then she stepped behind Jecht's bulk and tried to make herself unnoticeable.

"Ain't she a little angel!" Jecht said, and she heard Yuna giggle in response. "Her mother must be a real looker," he added, giving Braska an appreciative wink.

"Yes, she's my whole world now," Braska admitted fondly, planting a small kiss on his daughter's forehead. "Everything I do is for her." Noticing Jecht's sudden change of expression, he laughed and shook his head at the corpulent, elderly woman who also emerged from the apartment. "Oh, this is Beatrix, a friend. She looks after Yuna when I'm not home," Braska said. "My wife… can't be here right now," he finished with a pained expression. Shaking his head, he gave a thankful smile to the woman as she left down the stairs. "Please, come inside and make yourselves at home."

Jecht followed Braska through the doorway eagerly but Rikku hesitated outside, wavering. She made up her mind and stepped through, however, when she felt Auron's presence behind her. _I'll make it through this. Just act cool, "Rikkma!"_

"Father, who's that?" Yuna's quiet voice made Rikku jump and emit a little squeak of surprise. As she feared, Yuna's eyes were trained on her in rapt fascination. "She looks like mommy!"

"That's because Rikkma is also Al Bhed, just like your mother," Braska said gently, giving Rikku an amused smile.

"Her eyes are green!" Yuna said again, a sunny grin breaking over her face as she pointed at Rikku. "Just like mine!" The little girl was obviously very excited; Rikku couldn't blame her, though. It wasn't often that Al Bhed were spotted anywhere near Bevelle, not unless they were criminals awaiting punishment. Still, she breathed a tiny sigh of relief when Yuna's curious gaze shifted over towards Jecht. "Who's that?" the little girl asked, looking over the large man.

"I'm Jecht, star blitzer of the Zanarkand Abes!" he said proudly, giving Yuna a broad smile. The smile dropped as Yuna ignored him and broke out into a delighted squeal.

"Auron!" she shouted as the object of her attention entered the room. She rushed towards him and threw her arms around his leg tightly. Rikku had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud as Auron glanced down and furrowed his brow.

"Yuna," he said, giving the girl an awkward pat on the head. "I need that leg."

"Sorry," she mumbled, releasing him reluctantly and stepping back to give him a formal bow before returning to her father's arms.

"You got a real way with women, Auron," Jecht observed, earning him a glare from both his subject and Rikku. "Quite a place you got yourself here, Braska," Jecht added with a grin.

"It's not much, but I call it home," Braska said, pulling a giggling Yuna onto his knee and bouncing her playfully.

Rikku let her eyes travel over the sparsely decorated room; though small, it was very clean and neat, a sharp contrast to the building's shoddy exterior. What made the place more comfortable than anything, however, was the sight of Braska and Yuna sitting together at the small table, smiling at each other and talking quietly. They created a small circle of domestic comfort that blanketed the entire room more completely than any décor could; even Auron seemed to relax in their presence, his scowl smoothing out into a comfortable half-smile.

 _They're happy together here, that's why it feels like home,_ Rikku realized with a slight twinge of nostalgia. _Making a home for yourself doesn't have anything to do with money or power. It's just the place where you feel like you belong._ She closed her eyes and unobtrusively slipped herself into a far corner of the room; _it's just because I don't want Yunie to see that much of me,_ she told herself. The truth was that she couldn't watch them anymore, though; father and daughter, sitting together and smiling, both unaware of the future that would tear them apart. _You could almost forget about Sin when you see them like that. Almost … but uncle Braska never forgot about Sin._

"We'll be starting the Pilgrimage tomorrow morning," she heard Braska say. "The temple will be open for Summoner parties, and it'd be good to get an early start."

"There is a problem," Auron said quietly, catching everyone's attention. He pulled the rolled parchment out from his coat and threw towards Braska, who snatched it out of the air. "Kinoc's given us two days to leave after we complete the Trials." His shifted his gaze to Rikku and she stared at the ground guiltily.

"Two days?" Braska said faintly, carefully setting the parchment aside without opening it. His eyes were fixed on Yuna, who was playing with the flaps on his robe, oblivious to his concern. "That little?" The sad lilt to his voice made his daughter lift her head and look at him with worry.

"Father?" she asked in a tiny voice.

He bent over and rested his forehead on top of hers, closing his eyes. Then he straightened and gave Yuna a sad smile. "Two days, then," he said firmly, and her eyes widened.

"No," she protested, and Rikku wondered at how old she sounded; she was only seven, but Sin didn't make exceptions for children in Spira. "No! You promised a week!" she said more loudly, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Yuna," Braska said, gently extracting her hands from his chest, which had bunched into tiny fists against the front of his robe. "It's Yevon's will."

"Hmm," Auron grunted, the scorn evident in his voice.

"Hey hey hey," Jecht interrupted, standing up and cracking his neck. "What's with the long faces? Listen up, kid," he said, approaching Braska and kneeling down, staring a surprised Yuna in the eyes. "You know what I do whenever I need to turn a frown upside-down?"

"… no?" Yuna sniffled, swabbing at her eyes, tears momentarily forgotten by Jecht's insistent demand for her attention.

"Blitz!" he said with a grin. "Tell you what, find me a blitzball and I'll show you some of my secret moves," he promised with a wink. "You don't wanna miss it, 'cause I'm the best!"

"That's an excellent idea," Braska said, eyeing Jecht gratefully. "Why don't you go get the ball from your room?" he told Yuna, easing her off of his knee.

"But…" she mumbled uncertainly, looking between Braska and Jecht.

" ‘ey! Didn't I tell you I'm the star player of the Zanarkand Abes?" Jecht boasted, thumbing his chest and puffing up with pride.

"Really?" Yuna repeated, her eyes starting to sparkle with eagerness. "They play Blitzball in Zanarkand?"

"All day and all night," Jecht reassured her. "You won't get a chance like this again, kid, so hurry up!"

"Okay!" Yuna yelled, his good cheer catching as she scrambled towards her room. She emerged a few moments later, blitzball in hand, and yelped as Jecht swept her into his arms and lumbered towards the door.

"I'll bring her back in one piece," Jecht told them as he flipped Yuna upside-down and held her by her legs, causing her to shriek in delight. Braska held the door open for them as they left the small apartment. "Here we go!" Rikku heard him yell theatrically from the hallway, punctuated by another one of Yuna's high laughs.

"My lord, are you sure you trust him?" Auron asked skeptically.

Braska shut the door with an amused expression, shaking his head. "Relax, Auron. He's a Guardian now."

"That's another problem," Rikku heard Auron mutter darkly under his breath.

"You need to learn to be more trusting," Braska scolded the other man. "He has a good heart. Even you must see the way he treated Yuna. Who would've guessed that someone like Jecht had a soft spot for children?"

 _Not me,_ Rikku thought to herself. _Probably not Tidus, either. I wonder why he hated his dad so much? Maybe Jecht was just bad with his own kid._ She blinked and looked up when she noticed Braska was standing before her, asking her a question.

"… Bikanel?" she heard him say.

"Huh?" she asked, blushing. "Sorry, come again?"

"He asked if you came from Bikanel Island," Auron called out, clearly irritated by her lack of attention.

"Hey! What do you know about that?" she said defensively, glaring at Auron. With Yuna gone from the apartment, he had retracted back into the stoic Yevonite shell she was growing increasingly familiar with, and it made her feel uncomfortable and protective of what little privacy her people had.

Auron shook his head with a disbelieving grunt and shrugged. "I know more of Braska's life than you can imagine," he said with contempt. "I can assure you that I have no interest in discussing the secrets of the Al Bhed with you or _anyone_ else."

Rikku blushed and looked away; _so Auron knows where we live already. Oh great… I feel like such an idiot now!_ Fortunately, Braska came to her rescue with a sympathetic nod.

"No, you are correct. I understand that it's quite a sensitive topic for you." He turned and gestured towards Auron. "Perhaps you could go check on Yuna for me after all?"

"But -" Auron said, pushing off from the wall in protest.

"Auron, please. We will be fine," Braska reassured him. Auron's frown deepened, but after a short pause he stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"He really needs to work on controlling his temper," Braska observed. Rikku allowed him to lead her to the table and took the seat that he pulled out for her. He left to enter one of the back rooms and emerged shortly afterwards with a small box full of medical supplies.

"Let's have a look at that shoulder," he told her as he laid out some gauze and tape across the tabletop. Rikku leaned forward and swept her hair away from her back, wincing as she felt him clean off the caked blood that had dried there. "Ah, good," she heard him murmur as he worked. "It's not that bad after all. The potion they gave you must have already dissolved the bullet. The wound just needs to be sealed properly now. Do you mind if I...?"

"No, go ahead," Rikku said, shutting her eyes. She would never get used to the feeling of being the target of a cast spell; even when they were beneficial, they still brought up memories of Brother's little Thunder fiasco. She heard Braska murmur something under his breath, and the ticklish feeling of magic raced through her spine and settled over her wound, making it itch unbearably. After a moment, the sensation dissipated and she sat up, rolling her shoulder. "All better!" she cheered, turning to give Braska a relieved smile. "Thanks a bunch!"

He nodded at her while clearing off the table, and then hesitated with a guilty expression, box in hand. "I'm sorry about what I said, earlier. I shouldn't have brought up your Home in front of Auron."

"I'm the one who should apologize," Rikku assured him with a sheepish grin. "After all, you married an Al Bhed, so you're practically one of us now!" Then she bit off her smile and blushed deeply, recalling Auron's brief mention of Braska's exile. _Oh… actually that doesn't happen until after you defeat Sin. Oopsie…_

Braska cleared his throat and looked away, allowing her to recover from her slip gracefully. "That's very kind of you to say," he replied, though the pained expression on his face told her that he knew otherwise. "You know…" he continued absently, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. "In many ways, you do remind me of my late wife. She also had a very optimistic outlook on life." Then he squinted at her more directly and his voice became thoughtful. "But it's more than that… in fact, it's uncanny. You _do_ look very similar to -"

"Oh, heh heh!" Rikku yelped, startling Braska out of his scrutiny. "Well, you know us Al Bhed! We all look the same!" She fell quiet as a fierce, angry frown marred Braska's normally kind features; he looked more upset than when she had inadvertently insulted him just moments earlier.

"I do not want to hear such things again," he told her sternly. "If you don't have any confidence in yourself, then how can I expect you to be able to protect me as a Guardian?"

Rikku bit her lip and hunched over; even without a vast age difference and legendary reputation behind him, she still felt like a small child who was being scolded by her elders. "Geez, it was just a joke," she mumbled, picking at her fingernails.

Braska's hand thumped on the table loudly and made her jump. She looked up and saw that his eyes had grown icy and distant. "Your people are not a joke, Rikkma, no matter what Yevon or anyone else may say. You mustn't ever let anyone convince you of that." He leaned over and trapped her under a direct glare so intense that she forgot to fidget and froze in place. "Things in Spira will never change if you simply accept them."

Rikku blinked; he was so much like Yuna it hurt. She found herself feeling something for him despite the fact that she knew how his journey would end; he was filled with kindness and resolve, and hope enough to carry the burdens of the world on his narrow shoulders without breaking. But just like Yuna, he kept none for himself. "Then what about Summoners?" she blurted out. "You go on your Pilgrimage, you die, and then Sin comes back! Sin _always_ comes back! How can you just accept that?"

Braska leaned back and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "There's always a chance things will be different this time."

"But what if they're not?" Rikku clenched her fists.

"Then at least I will have given Yuna a childhood of peace and happiness," he said firmly.

"By dying?" Rikku lashed out, feeling tears start to sting at her own eyes. "You really think that's what will make her happy?"

Braska stiffened, slamming the cover of the medical kit shut with a loud snap. "You, a stranger, would presume to question me?" he shot back. Then he relaxed, his shoulders drooping, and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, Rikkma. But please… do not try to change my mind about this. I'm set on my course."

The false name brought Rikku back to her senses and she wiped at her eyes.

 _What am I thinking? If I stop him from going on his Pilgrimage, then Sin will never be defeated!_ The very thought, however, made her feel tainted; as though she was somehow sacrificing Braska and Yuna's happiness for her own future. _For all of Spira,_ she reminded herself sternly. Still, it didn't change the fact that he was a sacrifice, a lamb they were all leading to slaughter on Yevon's altar. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

Braska cleared his throat, then re-seated himself at the table. "I've seen your Home before, you know," he told her, as though testing the churning waters between them with his words. "Once, I went there as a missionary to spread the word of Yevon to your people. That's how I met Yuna's mother."

Rikku smiled despite herself; she was too young to have witnessed the huge fuss that Braska's arrival generated, but Keyakku had often regaled her and Brother with the stories about it, snatched whispers in the desert whenever they could find themselves away from Cid's watchful eyes. "Yeah, I heard about that," she mumbled.

"Ah, so you weren't there when it happened," Braska added with a short chuckle. "That was probably better for you… I think my presence there was fairly unsettling. Many people didn't appreciate my efforts to convert them." He tilted his head and rubbed his chin. "Tell me, though. How did you come to Bevelle in the first place? This isn't exactly the preferred destination of the Al Bhed."

"Actually my coming here was something like an accident," Rikku began. "I did used to live at Home, but that was before... I, uh, started wandering around Spira, looking for adventure." _Close enough to the truth,_ she thought.

"Well you certainly found it," Braska told her. "I think it would be best if you stayed with our group until we were safely out of Bevelle. I don't mean to impose on you, however. I imagine you'll want to eventually return to Bikanel, and I'm afraid my own journey won't be passing that way."

"No, I'm exactly where I want to be!" Rikku said, thinking of the temples.

Noticing Braska's surprised observation of her outburst, she laughed brightly and waved her hand through the air. "I mean, I'm not trying to get back Home right now." _Since I guess I'm already sort of there. I wonder what would happen if I met myself? I don't remember ever meeting me before… ugh, better not to find out. The universe might implode._ She shook herself out of her daydream when she noticed Braska giving her a pitying look. "What?" she asked him in confusion.

"I see… so you must be an outcast, too," he said sympathetically, planting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Well, I know it must be hard for you, but you're welcome to stay with us for as long as you need," he told her.

Rikku managed to clamp her mouth shut and nod before the giggles escaped from her. _Outcast? Hah, more like part of the reason you're exiled yourself!_ That sobered up her humor enough to give Braska a semi-serious nod. "Thanks," she told him again. He smiled in response and inclined his head before stepping away, leaving her alone with her thoughts at the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/16: some minor sentence construction edits, un-Briticizing spellings, changed the maid's name for easter egg cameo consistency. I did make a minor, minor plot edit in Braska's dialogue.


	6. An Evening At Braska's

Without Braska's immediate presence to cloud her judgment, Rikku took the opportunity to sit back and consider her options. She planted her chin in her palm, furrowing her brows in thought.  _ I could really get to like these guys… but I can't interfere with their Pilgrimage. Absolutely positively no, Rikku! Just go along with it until you can talk to Bahamut, that's all. _

"I really hope I won't be able to stick around after the first temple," she mumbled to herself under her breath. "Still…" She had to admit it felt nice to finally get to know her own uncle as something more than a legend told through the stone statues in the temples.  _ I shouldn't feel so guilty about sticking around here. It's the perfect opportunity to sort of make up for what the Al Bhed did to him, right? _ Rikku's head shot out of her hand and a huge smile broke across her face. 

"Yeah, that's it!" she exclaimed out loud. "Rikku's big chance to clear the family name!" Cheered by her new sense of purpose, she dug through her pouch and drew out one of the spheres she had recorded on earlier. "This mission isn't going down without a record," she said confidently, fiddling with the controls.

Braska emerged from the room just then, stopping in surprise when he saw her with the sphere in hand. He’d removed his formal helmet and lengthy outer robe, revealing long brown hair was bound in a neat braid that hung nearly halfway down his back. He was balancing a bundle of folded linens and pillows in his arms, and carefully set them down on the couch before turning to regard her with an amused grin. 

"Well, this is interesting," he noted with humor. "Is there a reason you're making a recording of me, besides to prove that men are capable of doing domestic work? Should I be worried? I wouldn't want the destruction of the male reputation to be added to my list of transgressions."

"Of course there's a reason!" Rikku replied gleefully, leaping out of her chair and dancing in place. "If you're gonna defeat Sin, then we should get every minute of this trip down for the record! You're making history you know!" She paused and thought about how many spheres it would actually take to accomplish that mission. "Well, maybe not every minute," she amended. "Now smile and say shoopuf!"

The door burst open as she held the sphere up, and a very disgruntled-looking Auron stomped in. He came up short, his surprised glance landing directly in the sphere, and then recovered with a shake of his head and gave Rikku an exasperated glare. "I thought I told you to stop playing with those things."

"Aww man, you really need to lighten up!" Jecht called out, strolling in behind Auron. He clapped the other man on the back as he passed by; Yuna was following him, her eyes sparkling with adoration.

"That was fun!" she cried, running in front of Auron and tugging at his red coat. Auron grimaced and looked away while Jecht snickered.

"Is there something I should know about?" Braska asked.

"I saw the…" Yuna's face screwed up in thought. "Sublimely… Mag… Magnificant…"

"Magnificent," Jecht offered helpfully.

"The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III," Yuna pronounced carefully. "Sir Jecht used it on Sir Auron!"

Braska smiled at his daughter uncertainly, while Rikku covered her mouth and began to snort. Auron simply clenched his teeth and unhooked his sword, slamming it into the corner of the room with more force than necessary.

"That must have hurt," Rikku managed to say, grinning at Auron.

"… and then Sir Auron showed us how to do a Shooting Star!" Yuna continued happily. The memory of the day was one she was going to treasure for years to come, to Jecht's obvious pleasure and Auron's more subtle chagrin.

Braska's other eyebrow joined its companion as he looked at Auron. "I suppose we shall need to buy a new blitzball tomorrow?" he asked, though the grin twitching at his lips softened his hard tone.

"Sorry," Auron ground out, slumping himself next to his sword.

"I ain't," Jecht replied, clasping his hands behind his head with a smug smile.

"Do it again, Sir Jecht!" Yuna said eagerly, clapping her hands together.

"Oh no, I think that's enough excitement for one day, young lady," Braska cut in hastily before Auron could insert a scathing retort to Jecht. "Time for you to go to bed."

"No!" Yuna cried in protest, shaking her head and balling her fists together under her chin. "I don't want go. The day isn't over yet!"

"C'mon, kid," Jecht said with an encouraging smile, standing over her. "You should listen to your old man. Whadda ya say I tuck you in? Will you go peacefully then?"

The pout left Yuna's face reluctantly, but she gave Jecht a slow nod. "Okay," she said, reaching out and grabbing Jecht's hand. "I guess I can show you Mr. Moogle instead," she murmured as she pulled him towards her room.

Rikku giggled and turned the sphere back towards Braska, who was looking after the two with a tender expression. "I think you might have finally found a rival for Yuna's affections, Auron," Braska noted, his lips quirking.

"Hnn," Auron said, the severe expression on his face softening. Then the smirk returned. "Children always prefer the company of one another over adults."

Braska chuckled, then turned towards Rikku and nodded. "Yes… this is a wonderful idea, Rikkma," he told her. "Since you seem to be familiar with spheres already, would you mind if I put you in charge of making the recordings? We can buy a few more for our supplies tomorrow before we visit the temple."

"For real?" Rikku asked, her smile growing wider. "Yeah!" she cheered when Braska nodded at her, holding her sphere up in the air and hopping from one foot to the other. "You can count on me!"

"This is not a good idea!" Auron cut in, scowling at both of them. "My lord, making sphere recordings is a waste of both time and money! We should be concentrating on things that are more important."

Braska gave Auron a level look. "What could be more important than Yuna?" he asked. That silenced the other man effectively, though it also brought Rikku plummeting out of her happy-dance and back into reality with a crash.

"Beautiful girl you got, Braska!" Jecht's loud emergence from Yuna's room broke through the sombre atmosphere; he was wearing a goofy grin on his face which dropped into a scowl when he noticed the tension in the room. "Whoa, somebody die while I wasn't lookin'?" he asked, scratching his head.

Braska smiled and shook his head at Jecht. "Not yet."

"That isn't funny," Rikku said lowly, collapsing back into her chair and fiddling with the sphere in her hands.

"Sheesh, you all need to stop hangin' around Auron so much," Jecht complained, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. " _ Ahh _ … free at last! You got somethin' to eat around here?" he added, wandering towards the kitchen.

"Braska," Auron said, nodding his head towards Jecht. "He still doesn't understand the nature of our task."

"What's to understand?" Jecht asked cluelessly. "We go to Zanarkand, me 'n Auron keep you from getting pounded by whatever we meet along the way, and Blondie over there cheers us on from the sidelines. Right?"

"What!" Rikku said, depression once again vanishing in a cloud of irritation at Jecht's overbearing male ego. "Listen here, you big lug -"

Braska cleared his throat and faced the other man. "Now, Jecht…" he began diplomatically, cutting Rikku off. "I am a Summoner, and you are my Guardian. As such, I am in your hands until we reach Zanarkand."

"Right, right," Jecht said with boredom, ignoring Braska. "So, what's a Summer-ner, anyway?"

The grinding of Auron's teeth was audible even over Braska's helpless sigh. Rikku barely managed to shut down the sphere before the wild gasps of laughter came bubbling from her throat.  _ He's more clueless than Tidus! Like father like son, I guess. Tidus is just like Jecht! And Braska is just like Yuna… and Auron is Auron and Rikkma is Rikku! I wonder if Kimahri, Wakka or Lulu are feeling left out. _ Rikku dropped her head into her arms at the table and laughed louder, even after the others stopped talking and stared at her.

"We set her off again," Jecht mumbled, and Rikku took a few deep, calming breaths to silence herself. She hiccupped and brushed away the tears that were streaming down her face. Braska murmured a quiet reply that she didn't quite hear, and then Auron grunted loudly in disagreement.

"We know nothing about her," she heard him say. "She shouldn't have been made a Guardian."

" ‘ey, she knows I'm from Zanarkand," Jecht answered him irritably. "That's good enough for me."

"And why shouldn't it be?" Auron responded. "You can't possibly have come from Zanarkand. It's obvious that you two are working together, the only mystery is what you hope to accomplish with your little deception."

"That ain't true!" Jecht said, his voice rising. "I didn't even know that chick's name until an hour ago!"

"But you said she knew yours," Auron replied, his voice cool.

"All the fans know my name," Jecht replied confidently.

Auron only shook his head in disbelief. "Do you even listen to yourself?"

Rikku slammed her hands on the table and stood up, annoyance bubbling over her features. "Hey! Stop talking about me like I can't hear you!" She glared at them. "And for the last time, I'm not one of your fans, Jecht! Honestly, I don't even like Blitzball  _ that _ much!" Well, that was a bit of a stretch, considering that she was a major part of the Gullwing blitzing team. But  _ Jecht _ didn't need to know that.

Jecht crossed his arms and redirected his glare from Auron to Rikku. "What the hell's your problem, anyway?" he growled. "Here I am, stickin' out my own neck for you and this is the thanks I get?"

Rikku planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You wanna know what my problem is? My problem is you!"  _ Because you're being nice. And Yunie likes you. And you're sticking up for me even though you don't know who I am. And I KILLED YOU DAMN IT! _ "I don't need your help!" she said shrilly.

Jecht's face registered surprise at her unexpected outburst before it dropped into a cold scowl; it looked almost foreign on his usually relaxed features. "Crazy little ingrate," he spat out, crossing his arms. "I get the message! Fight your own damn battles from now on, kid."

"I'm not a child!" Rikku replied instantly.

"You sure act like a cry baby sometimes," Jecht growled at her. "Shit, I swear you whine even more than my own kid!"

"Maybe Tidus wouldn't cry so much if you hadn't left him behind in Zanarkand!" Rikku yelled back.

Jecht froze, his face growing ashen underneath the dark tan of his skin. "It wasn't my choice to leave my boy!"

_ Oops, _ Rikku thought, cringing. He towered over her, his expression thunderous and his eyes dark with fury. Rikku had never really seen Jecht angry before; now he was, angrier even than Auron, and his wrath was directed completely towards her. 

A hand descended on Jecht's shoulder and carefully pulled him away from her; Braska stepped between them and gave the Blitzball player an understanding smile.

"When I saw you with Yuna, I thought you might have a child of your own," he said, his soothing voice cutting through the tension as though he wasn't even aware it was there. "You're very good with children."

A guilty look crossed over Jecht's face, and he turned away from Braska. "Yeah, well… not all of 'em," he muttered under his breath.

There was a raw, aching pain in his tone and Rikku realized how much Jecht actually missed his home and his family. With his gruff, easy-going exterior, it was hard to imagine he could take anything seriously. She’d underestimated him.  _ I… guess he really does care about Tidus. _

Braska gave Jecht another pat on the shoulder and released him before facing Auron. "I think this proves that they are not involved in some grand scheme together," he pointed out.

"Or that they're good actors," Auron replied.

Jecht's anger receded at Auron's words and looked over his shoulder at Rikku. "You ain't from Zanarkand too, are you?" he asked her.

"Huh?" Rikku said weakly, still trying to recover from her near-death experience. "No way!" she added. "I already told you, I know all about it from spheres."

"Spheres, huh…" Jecht’s eyes narrowed. Sweat beaded on Rikku’s forehead as he gave her an unusually calculating glance. Tiny alarm klaxons began to sound in her mind as she realized her mistake.  _ Tidus! I called his son Tidus! _ She held her breath, her fingers and toes going numb with the fear that he would somehow expose her deception and get her booted from Braska's party before their journey even began, before she had the chance to ply the Fayth for answers to her own questions.

"Whatever," Jecht finally said, turning his back on her. Somehow Rikku knew he wasn't going to drop his suspicions quite that easily, but she was thankful that he seemed content to let them remain just that in front of the other two men.

"It has been a long day for all of us," Braska said. "I think it would be best to continue this discussion tomorrow morning." He picked up a pillow and a blanket and pushed them into Rikku's arms. "You can sleep in Yuna's room tonight, Rikkma. I'm sure she won't mind the company."

"Thanks," Rikku muttered with a blush, beating a hasty retreat from the room. Once again, she was grateful for Braska's timely intervention; it seemed he spent most of his time playing the peacemaker between their explosive group dynamics. There was always bound to be tension between herself and Auron even if he wouldn't have been acting like a complete Yevonite; her continuing attraction to him despite his dour nature seemed to ensure that. But she had been surprised by how much she was affected by Jecht's disapproval.  _ I don't even know the guy that well! So… why do I feel so bad about hurting his feelings like that? _ With a sigh, she realized she knew perfectly well why she was feeling guilty. Because he didn't deserve that last dig. "Guess it's going to be Rikku's Big Apology Day tomorrow," she muttered to herself, entering Yuna's bedroom.

Rikku shut the door behind herself quietly, letting her eyes adjust to the sudden darkness. The moon was shining brightly outside, and the silvery light that spilled through the curtains illuminated the room with an ethereal glow. Yuna was already fast asleep, cradled by pillows and moonlight. She looked angelic, her pale skin shining white against the stark darkness of the night; if it hadn't been for the ratty stuffed moogle that was securely tucked underneath her chin, Rikku might have mistaken her cousin for a Fayth.

"Yunie," Rikku whispered, creeping to the young girl's bedside and studying her peaceful face. "You're gonna grow up to do some really great things, you know, greater than you ever dreamed about." Sighing, she leaned over and brushed a stray lock of hair away from Yuna's forehead, and the little girl turned and mumbled softly. "Sorry," Rikku murmured, biting her lip and blinking away another unexpected tear.  _ Gotta stop doing that, Rikku. The guys are ready to haul you off to the nuthouse as it is already! _ "Just think of the now," she told herself, tiptoeing away from Yuna's bed and carefully spreading her own blanket over the floor.

After removing her boots and unhooking her twin daggers, stashed securely away from Yuna's curious reach, Rikku settled herself on the blanket and began to sort through her remaining equipment. "Those priests took my best stuff," she muttered under her breath in disgust. In a way, she was thankful that she had brought only her daggers and Conflagration grid with her on her initial trip to the Farplane; she was sure the temple would have been more than eager to keep a tight grip on her more powerful garment grids had she equipped them. 

Much more upsetting to her was the loss of her bracelets, though. She had spent hours tooling them together; the protections she’d woven into the small bangles had been miles better than anything she ever managed to work into her old targes.  _ Their technicians are probably trying to figure out how I made those right now. Great, way to give Yevon a helping hand there, Rikku! _ "Well, not like it matters anyway. I guess I can always make something new. No, not just something new, I'll make something better. So there!"

The sparse contents of her pockets were all too quickly laid out across the blanket, and Rikku let out another heavy sigh. There were the two spheres she had recently recorded, a key chain she’d stolen from Paine's vest, one of Yuna's colorful, hand-woven cloth-and-bead hair ties and a few pieces of lint. Not even a single potion remained from her former supplies.  _ Looks like I'm starting from scratch again. Well, not entirely… _

Brightening, she extracted the three remaining dresspheres from her belt and inspected them carefully. They seemed to have survived the trip no worse for the wear, emitting their usual faint blue glow. Rikku couldn't stop the relieved smile from stretching across her face as she picked up one and gave it a small kiss. Then she studied the other two spheres and her mouth dropped open into a disappointed pout. "Crap, I overwrote my Luck sphere! And I really liked that one too!" She held her breath and fell silent as Yuna mumbled and turned in her bed, then leaned forward and resumed her inspection much more quietly.

_ Lenne's sphere is okay, at least… and my Alchemist sphere is still good too. Shoot… if only I had more hair! _ "Samurai, Songstress and Alchemist," Rikku whispered to herself. It wasn't exactly the ideal setup she would have chosen to have a face-off with Sin; in fact, it wasn't even an ideal setup for her normal sphere-hunting forays. "Better than nothing, I guess."

And it was; it was  _ a whole lot _ better than nothing; the power available through Shinra's grid technology was a step beyond anything Yuna's party had managed to gather or learn on their own during the course of their Pilgrimage. That wasn't to say that garment grids were a magical cure-all that could turn any rube into a powerful warrior, no matter what impression Leblanc might have given. Like almost anything that had to do with sphere technology, they worked by tapping into a person's memories and emotions. Without the strong will necessary to harness full control of the spheres, the grids were simply useless trinkets, amusing but unreliable show-costumes. In that sense, summoning the hidden powers out of a dressphere was slightly similar to summoning an aeon, albeit on a much smaller scale. With the exception of the Songstress dressphere, the costumes usually didn't talk back or exert their own personalities when called out. It was also no wonder that Yuna had been the most skilled at using them in their entire group.

Rikku picked up the first sphere and examined it closely, wondering how grid technology might have affected the journeys of the countless other Summoners before Yuna.

Ultimately not very much, she realized; grids only boosted the capabilities of an individual, and it took more than just one person to beat the terrible power that was Sin. She smiled at the Alchemist sphere and carefully tucked it back into her grid. Like the Thief sphere, it was something Rikku had created herself. She had poured her most precious memories into it - thoughts of Home, of the friends and relatives she had lost there, even of her brother Keyakku; she treasured the result it had produced. It was a living, breathing reminder of her people, one she wore as easily as a second skin, and neither Yuna nor Paine had objected when she opted to keep it for herself.

The Songstress sphere, on the other hand, had belonged without question to Yuna. Or, more accurately, it had belonged to Lenne, and Yuna had inherited its power. After Tidus returned, Yuna willingly gave it up, wanting to leave behind all traces of the hardship and suffering of her previous adventures and create a fresh beginning for herself in Besaid. Paine had threatened Yuna with bodily harm at the mere thought of being offered the outlandish sphere, and so it had happily landed in Rikku's possession. Now, as Rikku stole a glance over her shoulder at the younger, sleeping Yuna, she was glad to have it; it might not have been her memories that powered the sphere, but it was one of the only definite connections to her cousin that she had left with her. She slotted it into the grid and moved on to the last remaining sphere.

The Samurai sphere. The one she had also created by herself, to everyone's surprise. Rikku was no warrior; discretion wasn't only the better part of valor in Rikku's world, but often the preferred first choice. And yet the sphere she had crafted was contrary to every belief she thought she held true. It had created a costume built on honor and strength, filled with memories of whispered promises and binding vows. It was a painful outfit for her to wear, but one she treasured above all others. The few times she had let her teammates try it out, they had complained that it felt too "heavy" to be of any practical use. For Rikku, it was a burden she carried willingly; she knew that the heaviness came from her sorrow, for things that never were and could never be.

_ Until now, _ Rikku reminded herself, thinking of the younger Auron, living and breathing and separated from her only by one thin wall in Braska's tiny apartment. The sphere flickered and glowed in her palm, and Rikku knew it was changing; she knew because her memories of Auron were changing with it. She carefully placed it into the grid, smiling to herself. It was still a painful dressphere; that would never go away, for suffering was what had made them into the people that they were. But she also knew it would not be quite so heavy to wear anymore, not as long as this Auron stood and breathed next to her.

"If I can even wear when he's around," Rikku mumbled.  _ He'll take one look at me and know something's up for sure… _ She shook her head and pushed it aside as a problem to be dealt with for later. "Maybe with all the brawn in this party I won't need to use it at all," she comforted herself, toying with the grid. Even without the dresspheres, the grid would in theory keep her feeling at least mildly useful; it wasn't everyone who could manage to throw around a Flare spell after all. Rikku had tried her best to learn it on her own from Lulu, but after several failed attempts and more than a few painful accidents, both had given up on the cause as hopeless. 

Rikku trailed over the gate that would activate the Flare magic with her fingertip and wondered where Lulu was now; it was strange, trying to imagine the sophisticated black mage as a girl even younger than herself. She wondered if Lulu was already journeying with Father Zuke, or even Lady Ginnem - if they might meet on the road to Zanarkand, and what she could say to her mentor and secret idol if they crossed paths. "I could use some of your cool right now, Lulu," Rikku mumbled to herself, tracing over the runic patterns on the stone plate apprehensively.

A chill shook Rikku as she fingered the grid, and gathering her courage together, she snapped it off. It fell into her hands, and her breath left her in a loud whoosh. The supplemental magic boost seeped out of her body, leaving her feeling tired and deflated.

Then she frowned and held the grid up for inspection in the moonlight. "That didn't feel any different than normal," she mused.  _ What happened earlier, anyway? Why did it hurt so much? It felt like I was being eaten from the inside out! Eaten… like my magic was being eaten! _ Panic struck Rikku, and she hastily put away the grid and held her hands in front of her, whispering a few desperate phrases. To her relief, a tiny flicker of flame danced to life in her cupped palms; proof that she could still cast her minor spells even without the grid. She whispered a few more words and tried to strengthen the flame; it grew slightly brighter, but after a few moments Rikku allowed it to flicker and die out.  _ Nope… I still can't even cast a Firaga, I know it. _ She sagged over, mollified; limited as her own magic was, Rikku prided herself on the little she had.

"Well, if it didn't drain me, and it didn't boost me, what the heck happened?" she mumbled, eying the grid. Then, taking a deep breath, she picked it up and strapped it back on around her waist. A thrum of energy, the tingly feeling that ticked all the way through her body from the top of her head to the tips of her toes; it was the usual response she had to equipping any magic grid. Nothing was out of the ordinary; no hint of the strange, phantom pain that had wracked her body the first time even registered. Rikku was relieved that it seemed to be working properly again, though she was still uneasy about her initial reaction to the grid. She snuck another glance at Yuna and decided to keep the plate equipped around her waist; there was no telling if anyone else would have a similar reaction to hers if they wore it, and Rikku didn't want to inadvertently risk causing her cousin unnecessary pain.

_ Except for the fact that I'm guiding her own father to his death. It's just the little things, right? _

Rikku flopped back against the blankets and turned her head to watch Yuna with troubled eyes. Sleep, as tired as she was, didn't come to her for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: un-Briticized a few words, advanced Yuna's dialogue a bit (now that I have actual children underfoot for comparison); changed Rikku's attitude towards Blitzball slightly to reflect canon, removed some adverbs; corrected an error with the Godhand weapon, fixed capitalizations


	7. Haute Couture

The pleasant heat of sunlight warming her cheek half-roused Rikku from her slumber. She sighed and tried to burrow back into her blankets, but the painful crick in her back managed to complete the job of waking her up.

"Oww," Rikku mumbled, rubbing her neck and sitting up slowly. "Either Brother's been hiding rocks in my bed or I've been camping out again…" She opened her eyes and blinked once, then twice, and her good mood evaporated. "Oh poopie," she sighed, taking in her surroundings.  _ So it wasn't a dream after all. _

Yuna's bed was already neatly made, and the little girl was nowhere to be found. The curtains had been drawn back, and the rising sun pooled light on the floor around Rikku's makeshift pile of blankets. She blinked and rubbed her eyes again, and then gasped. "Oh my gosh, it's so late! Auron's gonna kill me!" He had always been a stickler for strict schedules during Yuna's Pilgrimage, and she remembered his early-morning lectures to her and Tidus all too well. 

Scrambling out of the bed, she grabbed her daggers and attempted to comb her fingers through her messy hair before giving up. She snatched her shoes off the floor and through a miracle of dexterity managed to open the door while sliding a foot into her boot at the same time. Unfortunately, the miracle was short lived and resulted in Rikku hop-crashing into the wall of the outside hallway before falling gracelessly onto her butt. "Ouchie…" she hissed, peeking into the living room to see if anyone had witnessed her moment of clumsiness.

"I can't believe you're a Guardian." Auron's voice was full of scorn and Rikku winced in dismay. Then she relaxed as she heard Jecht respond, realizing that the comment wasn't directed towards her. In fact, her presence hadn't even been detected yet. Pushing herself to her knees, she crawled forward and spied on the two arguing men.

"Well,  _ excuse me _ ," the blitzball player said gruffly. "So we don't have any Summoners in Zanarkand. Big deal!"

Auron was pacing in front of Jecht, looking even grumpier than Lulu before her morning cup of tea. "Zanarkand is the holy city of Summoners. You do realize you're destroying any credibility you have every time you open your mouth."

"I don't see why you're gettin' so worked up over this. So we guard Braska long enough for him to beat down this Sin thing! Seems pretty simple to me. The way you talk, you make it sound like somebody's gonna die!"

Auron's silence was telling, but apparently Jecht wasn't that bright, at least not in the morning. Rikku also noticed that for all his fervor, Auron couldn't be bothered to explain the actual purpose of Braska's Pilgrimage. Or perhaps he simply couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

"Stop worryin' about it already," Jecht added with a loud laugh. "Now that I'm playin' on your team, this Pilgrimage is gonna be a breeze!"

"How very reassuring," Auron deadpanned. Then he turned and looked at the tuft of yellow hair that was poking over the corner of the wall. "Glad you finally decided to join us," he said to Rikku, who giggled and scrambled to her feet.

"Umm… good morning!" Rikku said, giving the two men a cheerful wave. "Where's Braska and Yunie?"

"Yuna," Auron started, emphasizing her proper name, "is being walked to school by her father. That is the only reason you've been allowed to sleep in today."

"Look out, Auron's a real grouch in the mornin'," Jecht warned her.

"Yeah, I know," Rikku replied, rolling her eyes. Then she coughed delicately. "Uh, I mean, it was pretty obvious, waking up to hear you two argue like that."

"Jecht. We're not finished with this conversation yet. However there are things I must discuss with Rikkma first."

Jecht smirked at Auron and stood up, stretching his arms. "Fine, whatever." He turned to Rikku and tapped her on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it."

"Very funny." Auron strode past them and stood in front of Yuna's bedroom door, waiting for Rikku to join him. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, yeah, hold your chocobos," Rikku grumbled, grabbing an apple out of the bowl on the table and biting into it. She dragged her feet as she walked towards the room, unwilling to start her day with whatever reprimand she was sure Auron had in store for her.

"Better be good," Jecht called after her. "I don't think Braska would be too happy to come home and find you two doin' the nasty in his kid's room."

Rikku choked on her bite and flushed, then whirled around and sent the half-eaten fruit flying through the air. To her satisfaction, it hit Jecht directly between the eyes with a wet smack and made him double over with a yell of pain. "Screw the apology," she muttered under her breath as she stomped past Auron.

"Hnn," Auron grunted in amusement as he stepped in behind her and shut the door. "So you can make yourself useful sometimes."

"Always nice to see you too, Auron." She felt more than saw Auron's disapproving glare as he looked over the room, and with an annoyed sigh began to gather the wrinkled bed sheets off of the floor and fold them neatly. "So what do you really want, mom?" she asked.

"We need to talk."

"We are talking," Rikku answered smartly, waving the sheet she was holding through the air with a loud snap.

Auron sighed and leaned against the door. "I meant about your reasons for becoming Braska's Guardian."

Rikku slowed down, straightening the creases out of the folded sheet in her hands. "You still don't trust me," she observed, surprised to find that it hurt. The Auron she had known only had to look into her eyes and ask her once.

"You are Al Bhed." He formed the sentence hesitantly, as though he was trying not to be insulting.

_ But he still said it, _ Rikku reminded herself, laying the sheet and pillow on Yuna's bed. "And?" she asked, forcing herself not to face him. If he wanted to be dense, she wasn't planning on making it any easier for him.

Auron sighed, and she could almost hear his patience meter running out of gil. "Surely you don't think your people will turn a blind eye to this Pilgrimage. Already they note it because of Braska's presence alone. You must understand what this will mean for you."

Rikku blinked and stared at the wall of Yuna's room in surprise. "W-what?" she asked, wondering if she heard his question correctly.

"You are Al Bhed!" Auron repeated with a note of frustration.

She turned around this time, not trying to hide the shock on her face. "Well, yeah. So I won't be able to go back to them after this." It was easy for her to say, since Rikku knew she wouldn't have been able to return to her people in this time in any case; Auron, however, didn't know that. The bigger mystery was why he even brought it up. She had been expecting him to lecture her on duty, responsibility and trust; she hadn't been expecting him to ask about the effects making a Pilgrimage would have on her personal life. "Why's that a problem?" she asked, and he looked at her as though she had grown another head.

"… What would you do, once this Pilgrimage is over?"

Rikku let herself fall onto Yuna's bed, slumping over and resting her elbows on her knees. "That's a pretty big assumption, you know." Her tone was light, but she kept her expression serious. "How do you know  _ any _ of us will still be around after Zanarkand?"

Auron frowned and opened his mouth. "Lord Braska -"

"Braska's gonna defeat Sin," Rikku said without hesitation, pinning Auron with a knowing look. "If you didn't believe it too, you wouldn't be his Guardian."

He smiled faintly and looked down, acknowledging her words. "For someone who barely knows him, you place a lot of faith in Braska."

"He has that effect on people," Rikku said, dropping her chin into her hand with a sigh.

Auron shifted, and Rikku's eyebrows raised a millimeter.  _ Did I just make Auron squirm? _ A smile began to tickle at the corner of her mouth; this morning lecture was going better than she could have hoped.

"While I find your dedication to be…" he hesitated, frowning to himself. "… admirable, I still don't see where it’s coming from." Auron studied her. "I don't understand you. Therefore, I can't trust you."

"But you trust Jecht?" Rikku asked.

Auron snorted and shook his head. "I wouldn't go so far as to say I trust him. Jecht, however, is transparent. You are not."

"You have worse vision with two eyes than you do with one," Rikku muttered to herself.

"What?" Auron gave her a strange look, and Rikku shrugged at him.

"Nothing!" she chirped. "Listen, Auron… I can't tell you why I wanna do this. I can't even tell you that I'll stick around for the entire Pilgrimage," she said honestly. "I will promise you that while I'm here, though, I'll do everything I can to keep Braska safe from harm. I know what the code of the Guardian means.  _ Protect the Summoner even at the cost of one's own life. _ I won't mess it up."

Auron fell silent, but Rikku knew he still wasn't convinced. She decided to try an old favorite. "I've decided to be Braska's guardian, and that's all I want." Rikku held her breath.

"Nothing for yourself, then?" Auron asked her. "You're willing to throw your lot in with us and forget the rest of the world while you're at it? A noble sacrifice without any ulterior motivations, I'm sure," he said shrewdly. "That's hardly a convincing reason for us to trust you."

Rikku's face dropped and she kicked at the floor. "But it should be enough," she said. She glanced up; Auron was still leaning against the door, frowning. She realized he was trying to understand her, at least somewhat; had he been completely disinterested in making an effort, he would have simply left the room. Still, he was rigid in his beliefs, and could only bend so far. Destroying his faith in Yevon would have helped immensely, but Rikku didn't want to be the one to break him. This Auron was just as driven as the one she knew, but he was still missing something… the bitter cynicism, but also the tolerant understanding that had grown from it. This young, unblemished Auron was much more brittle; if he was to learn that his faith was built on a lie, she suspected he would shatter.

_ I'm just as much of a coward as he is, _ she realized.  _ He doesn't want to tell Jecht about Sin, and I can't tell him about Yevon. _ For some reason, the knowledge brought her a strange sense of comfort; he wasn't yet The Legendary Guardian, all knowing and unapproachable; he was simply a man trying to protect his friend.  _ Maybe… I should try trusting him first. _

"I… I can't go back," she told him haltingly. Well, it was the truth, in a way. "I can't go back to the Al Bhed right now, and I don't want to, either." She felt Auron looking at her and she picked at her nails. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back," she admitted reluctantly. "So I've been searching for something to believe in - something to live for. I've been looking for my own story." Also the truth. "And then I found Braska, and I'm just sorta thinking… maybe this is it, you know? Maybe this is what I've been looking for." She swallowed and cursed silently for betraying herself not once, but twice.  _ I don't believe in sacrificing Summoners! But… but… _ "… I believe in him. I believe in Braska. That's why."

Auron seemed to consider her words, then shook his head with a quiet sigh. "Fine. I suppose you can stay, but I'll need to know what skills you can bring to the party."

_ Hey, he's letting me stay. He's really letting me stay! _ A huge smile broke over Rikku's face and she leapt off of the bed and began to dance. "You already know I'm a thief!" she said, waving her hand in the air. "If you need some items, then I'm your gal!"

"Hnn," Auron replied, amused by her antics. "I suppose that could be useful. So long as you only steal from fiends," he added strictly, causing Rikku to pout. "Can you actually fight with those?" he asked, inclining his head towards her crossed daggers.

" _ Well _ ," Rikku said, scratching her chin with a nervous smile. In truth, she  _ could _ fight with them, though in a fair battle she still preferred a fighting claw and targe. Then again, since Shinra had invented the garment grid, Rikku had never bothered to fight any of her battles  _ fairly _ . "I can take care of myself," she assured Auron. "You guys won't have to worry about guarding me on top of Braska." Seeing the skeptical expression on his face, Rikku rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I can cast, alright? I'm sorta good with black magic." She bit her lip and smiled;  _ that _ lie was almost as big as Lulu's chest. Auron seemed to buy it, however, looking relieved.

"Good. Dedication is fine, but I still won't allow Braska to bring along dead weight on something as serious as a Pilgrimage." He reached out to open the door and stopped when he heard Rikku titter dangerously. Looking over his shoulder, he scowled at her. "What are you laughing about now?"

"Dead weight!" she snorted, pointing at him. Finally bringing her breath under control, she smirked and brushed past Auron, trying to wipe the smile off of her face. "You wouldn't understand."

He shut the door behind him, and Rikku smirked when she heard him grumbling to himself. " _ …is a bad idea… _ " he was saying. "Rikkma," he called to her. "Just stay away from any more fighting than absolutely necessary."

"Ohh! That's so sweet, Auron!" Rikku teased, batting her eyelashes at him. "I didn't know you cared so much about me!"

"I don't," Auron answered with a glare. "I just think it's a bad idea to combine magic usage with mental infirmity."

Rikku stuck her tongue out at him and dashed into the living room. She pulled up short as she saw Braska there, fully bedecked in his usual travelling outfit and arguing with Jecht. "Hey, you can start the party now, Rikku… ma's here!" she greeted them, bouncing with excitement.

Braska looked inquiringly at her. "Rikkuma?" he repeated with a faint grin.

"Sowwy. I bwit my wip," Rikku fudged. Then she pulled her lower lip out and widened her eyes. "Wanna swee?"

"No thanks," Braska laughed at her. "I was told Auron pulled you aside for one of his lectures. I did not think it was normal for people to come out of those with smiles on their faces."

Jecht smirked and crossed his arms. "Must've been one helluva lecture," he grinned. "Maybe he's the one who bit your lip, eh?"

"Do you want another apple surprise?" Rikku answered hotly, feeling her face heat up.

"Well, will you look at that," Jecht replied, his smirk growing wider. "Now you two really do match."

Rikku's mouth dropped open as she glanced down at her chest.  _ I hate your genes, Father, _ she thought miserably, noticing just how far the red of her blush carried.

"Jecht." Auron was, thankfully, not looking at her; he seemed to be focusing his  _ Rikku Look _ completely onto Jecht this time. "The Pilgrimage hasn't even begun yet. Would you at least make an effort to be less irritating." The tone that he stated it in was clearly not a request.

"I call 'em like I see 'em," Jecht replied, unruffled by Auron's threat. He gave Rikku a sly grin. "And there sure is plenty to see right now."

"Ohh!" Rikku yelled at him, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring. "You're such a pervert!"

"Actually," Braska interrupted with a nervous cough. "About your choice of attire, Rikkma…"

The blush disappeared under Rikku's injured pride. Uncle or not,  _ no one _ criticized her fashion sense. "What's wrong with it, huh?" she asked, planting her hands on her hips.

"Why, nothing of course!" Braska said too quickly, all smiles. "I personally am a fan of Al Bhed fashion. It's very… unique," he added. Rikku only glared at him, not buying his explanation.

" ‘ey, there ain't nothin' wrong with showin' a little skin," Jecht replied, perfectly serious. Not that he was one to talk, considering that he preferred to travel in nothing but his overalls. Then again, Rikku wasn't thrilled to have someone like Jecht backing up her side of the argument.

"Yes, you're right, we should be free to wear whatever we deem is appropriate," Braska said soothingly. His words didn't stop him from reaching for the bundles that were sitting on the table and offering one to Rikku and the other to Jecht. "However, since we are inside of Bevelle and planning to visit the temple later today, I thought it might be best if we tried to dress a bit more inconspicuously."

Jecht had already torn open his bundle and unrolled it, and was eyeing the heavy priest's cloak with a look of utter disbelief. "No way in hell," he said flatly, glaring at Braska as he threw the offending cloth onto the floor. "How are people supposed to see my muscles when I'm wearin' this potato sack?"

"That would be the point," Auron cut in, snatching the robe off of the ground and throwing it into Jecht's face with a look of disgust. "Lord Braska is loaning you his personal effects for your own safety. Show a little gratitude!"

"Fine," Jecht mumbled under his breath. "I ain't gonna spend the rest of this trip lookin' like an Auron clone, though," he swore as he shrugged the long red robe over his massive shoulders.

Rikku hastily undid her own package and let out a squeal of delight at the outfit that came tumbling out. "This isn't Bevelle fashion!" she said, shaking out the tasselled vest and short miniskirt.  _ Leather… feathers... buckles… bright dye… work gloves… and lots and lots of pouches! _ "This is Al Bhed!" she exclaimed, looking up at Braska in surprise.

"It was my wife's," he said carefully. "I hope you do not mind, but I thought it might be more comfortable for you to have something familiar, and you looked about the same size."

"You let your wife dress in that? It doesn't cover much more than what she's wearin' right now!" Jecht complained.

"Shut up, Jecht," Rikku replied by reflex, stroking her fingers across the costume. She never had the chance to get to know her aunt personally, but it didn't change the fact that she was still family.

"You do not have to wear it if you dislike it," Braska told her, looking embarrassed.

"What? Oh! No! No-no-no!" Rikku said, whipping her head around. "I love it! It's perfect! Thank you so much!" She clutched the outfit to her chest and bowed to Braska awkwardly. "I'll go try it on right now!" 

Running back to Yuna's room, Rikku slammed the door behind her and peeled off her skimpy yellow skirt and puffed sleeves. Slipping into her aunt's old travelling outfit - she recognized it as such because of the plethora of pouches and loops that had been sewn into the clothing - took slightly longer due to the amount of buckles and straps she had to secure. When she was done, she twirled around and looked at herself in the mirror with a broad smile. The outfit was still scandalous compared to the ultra-conservative trends of the religious majority in Bevelle. It covered a good deal more than her yellow bikini, however; the thick leather padding around her shoulders and elbows even offered a small measure of protection. It was just practical enough for a Pilgrimage, yet still free enough for her to feel like a true Al Bhed. "Perfect," she sighed, hopping around in a little victory dance as she snapped on her garment grid. She threw open the door and raced into the hallway, eager to thank Braska for his unexpected gift.

When she barrelled into the common room, Jecht turned and smiled, giving her a thumbs-up. "Lookin' good!" he said to her. Braska and Auron, however, both froze.

Rikku glanced down self-consciously before looking back up at her other two companions. "Umm… no good?" she asked uncertainly, feeling uncomfortable with their prolonged silence.

"…Raenn," Braska mumbled, staring at her in shock. Then he closed his eyes and shook his head, a pained smile crossing his face. "Remarkable," he uttered. "You look so very much like her." He opened his eyes and gave Rikku a weak smile. "I'm sorry, how rude of me. It does look wonderful on you… Rikkma."

Rikku fell quiet, embarrassed by her new clothing. She snuck a stealthy glance at Auron, who was studying her with a hard stare. "What?" she asked, leaning on her hip and returning his glare.

"She does look like Raenn," Auron noted. "However she only need open her mouth and you can hear the difference."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rikku asked.

"Raenn had manners," Auron said, looking away. Rikku fumed. 

"You are right in a way," Braska agreed as he stood from the table. "I think she sounds more like Cid."

Rikku fell silent with a nervous twitch.  _ What do I do? Should I say anything at all? Ohh… stupid Auron! Stupid Braska! Stupid costume! _ It was taking enough concentration just to keep her hands from flying to her head and shaking it, and she jumped in surprise as she realized Braska was still speaking, and more importantly to her.

"… too distracting for the priests," he was saying. "I think we will be able to find you something suitable once we reach the marketplace, though."

Still nervous about Braska's sharp observation, Rikku felt her stomach flip-flop at the thought of any sort of delay in her attempt to contact the Fayth. "Wait a sec, what? I thought we were going to the temple this morning!" Rikku complained.

"Yes, we are, but we still need to buy those spheres," Braska reminded her. "Also, Jecht needs a weapon."

The man in question rolled his eyes and scowled at Braska. "You've been arguin' with me about that since yesterday. I already told ya – the only thing I need to score is a blitzball!"

Braska shook his head. "No one has ever heard of using a blitzball as a weapon before, Jecht."

"Umm, actually…" Rikku said with a small laugh, not particularly upset when the guys chose to ignore her contribution to their slowly heating argument.

"See, now you obviously never played blitzball before," Jecht said. "You'd think different if you had one comin' at ya. Just ask Auron."

Auron winced. "Lord Braska is correct. Absolutely no blitzballs on this Pilgrimage."

Jecht threw his arms up and groaned. "Aww, c'mon, Auron, you were wearin' armor!"

"No," he repeated, and Braska gave Jecht a tiny smile of triumph.

"Whatever," Jecht said, dropping his arms in defeat. "But I get to choose my own weapon. And you have to pay for it!" he added petulantly.

Braska nodded and ushered them towards the door. "Let's get started," he said. "It's quite a walk to the marketplace from here." He waited until the others filed out before him, then reached out and caught Rikku's arm, beckoning her to walk at his side. "Rikkma, are there going to be any additional supplies that you need?"

"Oh, you're offering?" Rikku asked with the beginning of a smile.  _ Yes… maybe this won't be a total loss! _ "The Yevonites stole all my stuff when I got here, so I really could use a few potions and things…" she began.

"No," Auron cut in. Rikku jumped when he appeared at their side; she hadn't even noticed him slowing down to join them.

"What do you mean,  _ no _ ?" she asked. "Excuse me, but I think Braska was asking  _ me _ the question?"

"Auron, it's really quite all right -" Braska tried.

"She's a thief."

Rikku flushed and grit her teeth.  _ Just when I thought we were starting to get along, too. _ The way he said it made it sound like an insult. "I steal from fiends," she hissed.

"Therefore you don't need to be wasting our money," Auron told her. "Gather supplies on your own."

"I wonder if you'd still think that when you're sick with poison after getting stung by a Bite Bug, huh? I'm  _ sure _ you'll say then that we didn't really need that antidote," Rikku sniped.

"Please," Braska cut in. "Auron, leave her alone. This is also a part of my duty as a Summoner, and I do it gladly."

"But my lord -" Auron protested.

"Enough!" Braska commanded, and Auron grimaced and stalked away from them. Braska turned to Rikku with a smile. "I am sorry about that. Auron can be a little overprotective at times, as I am sure you have noticed. Now… what was it again that you said you'd be needing?"

Rikku nibbled on her lip. She realized the reason for Auron's intervention as soon as Braska had mentioned  _ duty _ . In fact, she was kicking herself for not having thought of it before. It was obvious enough from the slum that he lived in that Braska was not well off; he had fallen out of favor with both the Al Bhed and the Church of Yevon. Yet he doggedly chose to remain in Bevelle, raising Yuna on his own. She winced when she realized how thoughtlessly she had been about to take advantage of Braska's kindness.

"Oh, hey… don't worry about it," Rikku told him, smiling brightly. "I really  _ can _ gather my own supplies, so you don't need to buy anything." Braska looked like he was about to protest, so Rikku raised her hand and put on a stern expression. "That big ol' butt monkey challenged me, and I have to prove to him that I can do it on my own! My pride is on the line, so don't interfere!"

"Hmm," Braska said, as though he could see through her thin pretence. "Very well. Pride, then. I will, however, still be paying for your robe, so be sure to choose one when we get there."

Rikku nodded in agreement and then scurried ahead of him, slowing down to fall in step beside Auron. "Thanks," she murmured to him under her breath. "I wasn't thinking."

Auron grunted, not bothering to turn to look at her. "Do you ever?" he asked.

"Gee, I love you too," Rikku replied sarcastically before leaving his side. She caught up with Jecht, who stopped when the street spilled open into the larger square. Bevelle's marketplace was bustling, jam-packed with people. He was looking at the motley collection of merchants and shoppers with a mixture of surprise and awe. "Hey, better close your mouth or everyone'll know you're a tourist and charge us twice as much!" Rikku scolded him.

"Damn," Jecht said, rubbing the back of his head as his eyes travelled over the multi-coloured tents and stalls. "We don't have anything like this in Zanarkand."

Rikku followed his gaze and silently agreed with Jecht; Bevelle's market square was an impressive sight even for Spirans. Before Sin was defeated, Bevelle had been Spira's largest city; it still was, though Luca came in a close second. That cheerful port city had always remained more of a seasonal gathering place for Blitzball enthusiasts, however, than a permanently urban setting like Bevelle. There was still nothing comparable to the sight of so many people gathered together to buy and trade in the open-air market even in Rikku's recent memory. It was without a doubt Spira's largest commercial center. "This is gonna be great," she cheered to herself, hopping eagerly in place.

"Don't lag behind," Auron told them as he passed the two with Braska. "If either of you get lost, we won't come looking for you."

"Gotcha!" Rikku yelled, already dashing towards the first stall to root through the wares offered there. She lost interest in the cheap trinkets quickly and raced to another stall, fingering the brightly-dyed fabric that was hanging in strips before the tent. A wry laugh caught her attention, and she released the cloth and looked over her shoulder to see Jecht smirking at her.

"This must be some kinda universal truth," he grumbled with amusement. "Women and shoppin' - alone they're fine, but combine 'em and you got man's worst nightmare."

"Hey!" Rikku said with a small pout, jogging back to his side so they could catch up with the others. She slowed her pace, remembered why she had originally sought him out and sucked in her breath. "Umm… sorry, by the way."

Jecht gave her a surprised glance and scratched his head. "For what?" he asked.

"You know!" Rikku replied, exasperated. "Yesterday… I mean what I said about abandoning your son. That was wrong of me, okay?" She peered at Jecht from the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction.

Jecht's face tightened, but he sighed and shrugged at Rikku. "No harm, no foul," he told her offhandedly before moving away.

Rikku almost tripped over her own feet.  _ That easy? _ she thought suspiciously.  _ But I thought he really did love Tidus… _ She thought of Auron's appraisal of Jecht and studied him.  _ Auron said he was transparent… is he, though, really?  _ He certainly seemed like a simpleton, smiling lazily and heckling Auron to buy him a jug of whiskey when they passed a liquor stall. If Jecht was really upset about being separated from his own family, he certainly hid it well.

_ But he does care, _ Rikku reminded herself, filing his carefree behavior away for closer inspection later on.  _ I won't be making any more assumptions about Sir Jecht from now on, no-siree! _ A flash of silver in one of the stalls caught her eye, and her introspective analysis fled out the window in favor of something much more important.

"Ooh! Pretties!" Rikku squealed, approaching the jewellery stall. "C'mon guys, can't we stop for just a little?" 

The other men paused to look at her in dismay. "Universal, I tell ya," Jecht said as they watched Rikku paw through the hapless vendor's inventory with the eagerness of a child in a candy store.

"Perhaps it wasn't the wisest decision to bring her along for the supply trip," Braska noted.

"Women," Auron observed in disgust. "I'll get her." As he strode towards the stall, Braska casually turned to Jecht.

"I was married for two years," he murmured. "You?"

"Nine," Jecht replied, watching as Auron and Rikku began to argue with a knowing look in his eye. "Well, he's the one who was dumb enough to make the approach. I say it's his own fault, so we can make  _ him _ carry the bags."

"Agreed," Braska replied with an amused laugh. "Poor fellow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: adverb removal, cleaned up some phrasing, unBriticized, fixed some minor errors about Luca in the descriptions, fixed one major error about the length of Braska's marriage


	8. Machina Machinations

Rikku smirked, juggling her purchases in her hands. The argument with Auron had been fierce but in the end, she'd won; he was now sulking and trailing at the back of their little group. To be fair, she hadn't bought all that much; as he heatedly reminded her, she avoided any trouble that might have resulted by stealing from the vendors. It was also painfully clear that Braska had limited funds. Though Auron agreed to the necessity of arming their small party with the proper equipment, difficulties arose when she tried to convince him that her small selection of jewellery was meant for anything other than vanity.

Braska finally intervened when their argument grew loud enough to draw notice, paying the confused merchant for Rikku's selections before either could object. And to Rikku's great embarrassment, they'd cost more than expected. She _was_ a thief, after all, and could more or less guess the state of gil in Braska's small pouch of money both before _and_ after her purchases. The size of the purse dwindled significantly after they picked up a few recording spheres, and Rikku was seriously considering breaking her promise not to steal as the morning progressed.

She ran a finger over the smooth metal of the bracelet that jangled on her wrist; it was just large enough to work a few protective wards in with the proper equipment. Releasing the bracelet, she studied her next purchase - a heavy silver necklace chosen with Jecht in mind. As of yet it was little more than a chain and a silver disc; she knew that had she bought him a bracelet like her own, he would have deemed it much too _girly_ to wear. Tidus had no trouble with necklaces, so she hoped his father wouldn't object too strongly.

"I'll just have to be careful when I carve it," she mumbled to herself, slipping the necklace into one of her pockets. For Braska, she picked out a plain circlet; it would be the hardest of the pieces to customize, but she was sure she could attach it to his helmet with a little work. The question was how to tactfully get her hands on said helmet without him noticing. As she tucked away her purchases, she looked over her shoulder at Auron. His head was down and he still looked extremely pissed off. He was the only person she hadn't been able to find something for. He’d already donned his usual armored bracer anyway, and Rikku wasn't certain she could actually convince him to wear _anything_ , especially if it was coming as a gift from her.

 _I'll just have to steal his bracer one of these days and work with it. Oh boy, I bet that'll be loads of fun_.

"Rikkma?" Braska shook her out of her thoughts. "You need to choose a robe."

Looking up, Rikku realized they’d stopped in front of a cloth merchant. Several fine robes were prominently displayed on hooks before the tent, and she frowned as she studied them. "Umm, Braska," she mumbled. It wasn't that she _minded_ shopping for clothes; these robes, however, were richly brocaded and made of fine silks. They were both very beautiful and obviously expensive. "None of these look really…" She stopped herself from saying _affordable_ just in time. "… comfortable, you know."

Braska read her easily enough. "Rikkma," he addressed her with a stern look. "You need to dress more appropriately for the temple. I already told you that I would be happy to pay for your robe. Will you not try at least one?"

The vendor inside of the tent capitalized on Braska's request, pulling down a deep blue robe and offering it to Rikku. "I assure you, you won't find robes more comfortable than these in the entire district!" he told her.

Rikku wrinkled her nose at the cloth that was pushed into her hands, not really wanting to try on any of sort of formal dress but unwilling to hurt her uncle's feelings with a direct refusal. "Well, actually…" she mumbled, kicking her feet into the ground.

"Please, Rikkma," Braska pressed.

Rikku considered the robe. It wasn't all that bad; of course, the garment was patterned in a traditional Bevelle cut, meaning she would have to 'tailor' it to suit her own needs as soon as they were out of town anyway. Still… it _was_ a very pretty shade of blue…

"Blue was Raenn's favorite colour," she heard Auron mutter.

She stiffened and let the fabric fall from her fingers, pushing it back towards the merchant. Then she looked at Braska. He was staring at Auron, who she just knew was returning the look. The two men seemed to be locked in a silent battle of wills, one she had somehow unwittingly instigated. Finally Braska looked at Rikku, a gentle smile gracing his face; it was an abrupt change from the silent tension that had pulled at his features just moments before.

"Whatever Rikkma wishes to wear is her own choice, of course."

Rikku swallowed and could practically feel Auron's glare shift from Braska onto the back of her neck. She snuck a glance at him and winced; the expression on his face went beyond any simple _Rikku Look._ This one was accusing and also slightly threatening. It didn't take a genius to figure out why; he was trying to protect Braska, both financially and emotionally. That he saw her as a threat, however, sparked a tiny frown of resentment.

"I can't help it if I look like her," Rikku mumbled under her breath, glaring at Auron before pushing past him into the tent. She scanned over the racks of clothing, ignoring the fawning vendor as she searched for the cheapest, ugliest-looking _not blue_ robe she could find. Finally, she settled on a plain brown lump of cloth stuffed away behind the other finery. Without even trying it on, she pulled it out and shoved it into the merchant's waiting hands. "This one is perfect," she grumbled.

"B-but … that one isn't even finished!" he complained.

"Then I'm sure you'll be able to give us an appropriate discount," Auron interrupted, giving the merchant a stern look.

The small man huffed and glared at Auron. "300 gil," he said reluctantly.

"What!" Rikku yelled, snatching the robe out of the man's hands. She shimmied into it and turned around. "300 gil for this? Look, it doesn't even have sleeves!" she seethed.

"250 gil," the merchant replied with a wince.

"Sir," Auron said coldly, "Do you take us for fools? That sackcloth that you claim to be a garment is clearly worth no more than 50 gil."

It was about then that Rikku realized that Auron was playing her kind of game. Her anger evaporated and she gave him a mischievous smile, to which he replied with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"F- _fifty_ \- why, you thieves! You charlatans! I'll have you know that my family has tailored for the High Priests of Yevon for over twenty years!" the merchant sputtered.

At this point, even Braska had caught on, and folding his arms serenely, he gave the merchant a thoughtful smile. "Ah… for such a reputable tailor, you certainly do protest very loudly," he observed.

"What's the hold up?" Jecht grumbled from outside of the tent. "If this guy's sellin' duds, let's just go somewhere else!"

"A reasonable suggestion for once," Auron answered. "As he is the personal tailor to the High Priests of Yevon, I'm sure our business isn't needed here." He turned to walk away.

"125 gil!" the merchant yelled out with a note of desperation. "But absolutely no less than that!"

"Hnn," Auron said, pausing.

"I suppose that sounds reasonable," Braska replied cheerfully, and both Auron and Rikku winced. Eager as he might have been to learn, Braska clearly still needed a few lessons in the fine art of street haggling. "Is this what you want, Rikkma?" he asked her.

" _Well_ ," Rikku hummed uncertainly, picking at the robe. The deal was still salvageable, she supposed. _Besides, no risk, no rewards!_ "If you ask me, I'd only shell out 100 gil for this thing."

"125 is my final -"

"… and I promise not to dance through the streets telling people where I bought it from," Rikku added. She directed a saccharine smiled towards the merchant. "I'm a really good dancer, you know?"

"She's also very loud," Auron added. "Believe me."

"100 gil. And I don't ever want to see your faces again," the vendor blustered. He snatched the money out of Braska's hands and all but pushed them out of his tent with a dark scowl.

When they were a safe distance away, Rikku skipped up to Auron and held up her hand with a triumphant smile. "High five!" she yelled at him, and rolled her eyes in exasperation when he only stared at her outstretched palm.

"I think I should leave you two in charge of the shopping from now on," Braska noted from behind them with a grin.

"Thank you my lord," Auron said. "Though this subterfuge wouldn't have been necessary had we allotted our funds more carefully." This was directed at Rikku.

"How much do we have left?"

Braska stopped and reached into the pouch to count his coins, and Rikku winced again. _Counting his money in the open in the middle of the market…_ She leaned in towards Auron.

"Is he always this bad?" she whispered.

"Mmm-hmm," Auron answered her. "Lord Braska tends to see only the best in others. That is why he needs protection, not only from fiends." Then he paused and looked at her, really _looked,_ and she squirmed uncomfortably. "Rikkma. He loved his wife very much. Be… careful with him."

Rikku turned and looked at Braska, who had finished counting his money. She returned his smile when he looked up and cringed internally. "I'm a Guardian," she said out loud. "I'll keep him safe… even if he doesn't want me to."

"As will I," Auron replied smoothly; statement, promise and threat all in one.

"I'm afraid we have a little problem," Braska said, interrupting their conversation. "There isn't enough left to purchase a proper weapon for you," he told Jecht.

Jecht shrugged and didn't appear to be particularly displeased by the news. "Cry me a river," he mumbled.

"Well, why don't we just go to the temple and get this over with, then?" Rikku suggested. "We're all decked out now, and there shouldn't be any fiends waiting in there for us, right?"

Braska sighed and nodded. "Yes… we've spent enough time here. Let us head towards the temple." He turned to lead them through the crowds, but Rikku lingered behind, feeling guilty.

She made the suggestion on a whim, but the words had sobered Braska instantly. He almost seemed to be enjoying himself in the marketplace with them up to that point, and she knew she had inadvertently reminded him of his duty. They weren't simply friends who were sharing a vacation together, but a Summoner and his Guardians, preparing for a gruelling trip that would have little chances for respite such as Bevelle's open-air market offered. She looked at the ground, trying to remind herself that she shouldn't be getting involved. A pair of heavy boots entered her vision; they stopped beside her own.

"Braska chose his own path long ago. All we can do is follow." The boots moved away.

"I know," Rikku muttered, scurrying after him.

**.x.x.x.**

"So this is a temple?" Jecht said, his loud voice echoing through the high-domed ceiling. "Where're all the priests? Where's the altar?"

They were standing at the top of the huge spiral staircase inside of Bevelle's temple; the steps led down, down, deep into the darkness. Unlike the last time Rikku remembered, the controls for the elevator were also carefully obscured, covered with heavy brocaded cloths and ornamental hangings.

“The altar is in the center of the shrine," Braska replied, starting down the winding staircase. "However, only Summoners are allowed to enter the Chamber of the Fayth."

"Well, what's a Fayth?" Jecht asked, following him.

"Do you hear this song in the air? It is the Hymn of the Fayth," Braska explained. "They are the souls of those who dedicated their lives to battling Sin long ago. They sleep eternally, trapped in statues of stone, waking only when called forth by a Summoner. And while they dream, they sing to us."

Jecht grew unusually quiet, and the Hymn swelled around them. Auron followed the other two men down the staircase. He turned and regarded Rikku, who was leaning over the railing and looking into the darkness below.

"It’s such a long way down," she whined, shooting a wistful glance at the control panel.

"Then stay up here," Auron grumped, turning on his heel and following Braska.

"Meanie," Rikku muttered to herself, sprinting down the stairs past Auron. She passed Jecht, and even breezed by Braska, who looked on in surprise.

"Rikkma," he called out after her. "Please be careful. We don't know what's waiting for us at the bottom."

 _Some of us do,_ Rikku thought to herself. "I'll be fine!" she yelled up, leaning over the staircase and waving at the men above her. She wanted to get through the Trials as quickly as possible; every memory she had of descending into the bowels of the earth underneath Bevelle had ended up unpleasantly, without exception. "The sooner this is over, the better," she observed.

Torches flared to life with each step she took, illuminating the staircase with their flickering light. It was a rather impressive, mystical effect, or at least it would have been, had Rikku not been searching for the pressure panels in the floor that activated the mechanisms to light them. As it was, she was keeping herself amused by trying to race down the staircase more quickly than the torches could be lit. That of course meant that she was sprinting blindly into the yawning darkness. And, as she managed to catch her boot on one of the steps and go tumbling forward, she realized that it might not have been one of her better ideas. With a loud yelp, she went tumbling; instinctively rolling into a protective ball, she punctuated each bounce and slap as she hit the hard ground with a loud "OWW!" or "OUCH!" Fortunately, she was already near bottom of the stairs, so her fall was rather short. Unfortunately, her yells were loud enough to carry upwards very clearly.

"Rikkma! Are you all right?" Braska yelled, picking up his robes and hurrying his descent. Auron also picked up the pace, but it was Jecht who actually beat them both, being the quickest of the men. He was, in fact, fast enough to emulate Rikku's step hopping trip, and as he neared her, another loud yell was heard, followed by a few thumps and muffled cursing.

"OWW!" Rikku yelled at the top of her lungs, kicking Jecht off of her. "Did you have to land on top of me?"

"Quit complainin’!" Jecht groused, sitting up and rubbing his head. "I wouldn't have fallen if you hadn't first."

"Neither of you would have fallen if you paid any attention to your surroundings," Auron told them both. Seeing that they were uninjured, he redirected his attention to the glowing veil of blue energy that sealed off the entrance to the Cloister. "The Trials are beyond," he said, turning around and facing the others. "Lord Braska… are you ready?"

Braska stopped before the entrance and held his hands together, dipping in a respectful bow of prayer which parted the glowing curtain. Rikku and Jecht stood behind him, watching. Jecht leaned over towards Rikku and whispered to her under his breath.

"Hey, Blondie. What's a trial?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "My name's not Blondie, you know. It's… " She paused and considered the alternative. "… alright if you call me that, though," she finished.

Jecht stared at her for a moment and then shrugged. Apparently he was getting used to her lunatic behavior and passing it off as normal, she noted with some embarrassment. "Trials?" he reminded her. "Is this gonna be some kinda test?" He cracked his knuckles.

"We don't know what awaits us inside," Auron replied, slinging his sword off of his back and hefting it over his shoulder.

"I hardly think the temples would attempt to kill off their potential Summoners during the Trials, Auron," Braska chided him, stepping forward. He stopped when Auron held out an arm to block him.

"Let me go first." Without waiting for a reply, Auron turned and strode through the doorway.

Rikku, who already knew what was coming, crossed her arms and waited. Auron didn't come out immediately, and she wondered what was keeping him. Braska shifted, his long robes rustling and Jecht stretched and yawned. The seconds ticked by, and Rikku began to tap her foot. Braska cleared his throat. Finally, Jecht, picking at his ear, strolled past Braska.

"Jecht, do you think it's wise to -" Braska started.

"Sick of waitin'," he grunted as explanation, walking through the portal carelessly.

Rikku was hot on Jecht's heels, and she gave Braska a bright smile, pulling him through after her. "Hey, like you said! I bet it's perfectly safe inside!"

"But…" Despite Braska’s protests, he allowed himself to be dragged along.

"Whoa!" Jecht's loud exclamation quickened both of their paces; Rikku and Braska rounded the corner to see Jecht and Auron standing side by side, staring at Bevelle's Cloister of Trials.

Auron was motionless, his eyes wide and his face pale.

"This is awesome!" Jecht said, turning to face them. "I don't think I ever saw anything like this, not even in Zanarkand!" He pointed over his shoulder.

Braska, who drew to a stop alongside him, was also speechless. Curious at their silence, Rikku crept up and peered between them.

Looming out before them was the vast, seemingly bottomless pit of the Cloister. The moving walkways of light that pulsed and crisscrossed through the air emitted a harsh glow against the encroaching darkness. It was a strange and beautiful symphony of light and electronics, and Rikku took a moment to appreciate the skill it took to construct such a labyrinth. _Just like I remember,_ she thought with satisfaction. Then she turned to Auron and quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

Auron said nothing, still staring wide-eyed at the multitude of glowing pathways. Growing a little concerned, she reached over and poked his arm. Since that didn't produce a reaction, she frowned and pinched him. Hard. He hissed and drew away, coming out of his stupor to glare at her. "Welcome back!" Rikku grinned at him, waving. "Where the heck were you?"

Auron looked around, spotting Jecht and Braska, who had torn their eyes away from the pit to stare at him. He grimaced and avoided looking at the labyrinth. "Machina…" he muttered in shock.

 _Uh-oh,_ Rikku thought to herself.

" ‘ey, it's a good light show, even I'll admit that, but it ain't _that_ great," Jecht told him, scratching his head. "What's machina anyway?"

"Machina is forbidden by Yevon!" Auron answered, his eyes snapping back to the walkway.

"Yevon this, Yevon that," Jecht grumbled. "That ain't no answer!"

"Perhaps… it is only magic?" Braska interjected with a note of hope, squinting at the pulsing lights. Then he turned to Rikku. "The Al Bhed are more familiar with machina than any other people. Perhaps you could tell us?"

Jecht turned to her and crossed his arms. "Machina?" he repeated.

Rikku laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her head. _How to answer this one…_ She decided to tackle Jecht first. "Machina are old pieces of equipment that we Al Bhed try to salvage and use," she said. "Yevon sorta doesn't like it when we do that, because they're a bunch of stuffy old poops who think we should depend on them for everything instead of working for ourselves!"

"That is not entirely correct," Braska said. "The forbidden technology housed in machina is what brought about Sin. If we repent and abstain from its use, one day Sin will disappear, and the world will know peace."

"That's a lie!" Rikku cried out before she could stop herself. "There are no bad machina, just bad people who use them! Well, okay, maybe there are one or two bad machina out there," she amended, her eyes darting to the pit underneath the glowing labyrinth. _Somewhere down there Vegnagun is still sleeping…_ "But my point is just because Yevon says it's bad, doesn't mean you can blame machina for all of our problems!"

"Huh," Jecht replied, scratching his chin. "So these Yevon folks go around tellin' people not to use machina, and you Al Bhed type go around usin' them anyway, and that's why they hate ya?"

"Something like that," Rikku agreed.

"So you're Al Bhed," Jecht repeated. Seeing Rikku nod, he turned to Auron. "And you're one of these Yevon guys," he added, receiving a glare in response. "I think I like the Al Bhed better," he said.

"No one asked for your opinion," Auron snapped out.

"All I'm sayin' is we got this _'machina'_ comin' outta our ears in Zanarkand and there sure as heck wasn't anything like Sin botherin' us there. Maybe a fiend or two every once a while, but that's all."

"But I thought it was Sin that brought you here," Braska said.

"Yeah, well…" Jecht trailed off uncertainly. Then he gestured at the glowing walkway. "That sure looks like machina to me. You tell me what this forbidden machina is doin' in a temple of Yevon, and maybe I can come up with a reason for Sin bein' in Zanarkand."

Rikku's eyes flickered back to Auron's face; once again he was staring at the labyrinth, his mouth drawn into a thin line. She winced and drummed her fingers together. _No. They're not ready for this._ Then she took a deep breath.

"It's not machina."

Everyone turned towards her, Jecht looking like he was about to protest. Rikku held up her hand and gave him a stern glance. "Listen. I _am_ Al Bhed. And we know machina better than anyone else in all of Spira. I'm telling you, no matter what it looks like, _that,_ " she emphasized, pointing, "is _not_ machina. It's just not possible!"

"Are you sure?" Braska asked, though he couldn't hide the expression of relief on his face. More importantly, Auron was staring at her now. Strangely, as little as he seemed to enjoy her presence, he was hanging on her every word. In a way, he was depending on her, his so-called enemy, to tilt his world back onto its proper axis.

 _Sometimes I really hate myself._ Rikku scowled. _But I'll always hate Yevon more._ "It's not machina," she repeated. "Maybe it's some kind of summon or something."

"Well… I suppose that is that," Braska said, smiling and returning his attention to the labyrinth.

"… yes," Auron replied, tearing his gaze away from Rikku and back towards the Cloister. "Yet another one of Yevon's tests," he muttered with disgust. His face was still haunted, but some of the stiffness slipped away from his shoulders.

 _Huh_ , Rikku thought. _Maybe he’s not such a big Yevonite after all._ She let out a tiny sigh of relief and looked away, only to squawk and jerk back as Jecht's face appeared directly in front of her. He wasn't quite as angry as when she had mentioned Tidus to him, but he definitely looked far from pleased.

"What're you playin' at?" he mumbled, careful to keep his voice from carrying over to the others.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rikku squeaked.

"You know well as I do that ain't magic," he said, gesturing at the walkway.

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "It has to be for now," she whispered to him. Then her expression turned pleading. "Just let it slide, alright? Can't you see they need this?"

Jecht glanced over his shoulder at the two men, who were obviously trying to figure out their next move, and then shook his head in disbelief. "And they're callin' _me_ slow," he said under his breath. "This is one messed up place, man." Then he loomed over her.

"What?" Rikku asked, taking another step back.

"Well, Blondie. You can bat those eyelashes and tell 'em all the little stories you want." He snorted and looked her over. "But I ain't like them. I don't give a crap who this Raenn person was, and I know a lie when I see one. I'll be watchin' you," he warned her. "You try and double-cross us and I'll personally make sure you regret it."

Rikku blinked in surprise. "Wow, you're really getting into this Guardian stuff," she said after a moment.

Jecht straightened up and scratched his head, surprised by Rikku's lack of fear. Then again, he couldn't know that he didn't seem very scary to her. After having fought and killed an incarnation of him that was about three times the size of most of the buildings in Bevelle and wielding a sword to boot, there wasn't very much this Jecht could do that she would find intimidating. She was surprised to find that _The Lecture_ she’d been expecting all day was popping out of Jecht's mouth instead of Auron's, though.

"That's a good thing," she reassured him when his confused look began to drop into a scowl. "I'm a Guardian too, remember? I'm here to guard Braska, not hurt him." Then she gave him a tiny smile. "I'm just doing it my own way. I'm… glad, kinda, to hear you just wanna protect him too."

Jecht shrugged. "He's my ticket back to Zanarkand. 'Course I gotta look after him." Then he shot her another sideways glance. "You are one weird chick." He pointed at his massive, tattooed chest. "I don't scare you at all?" He sounded almost disappointed. Rikku snickered, and Jecht sulked. "Damn! I gotta work on my image."

"You do that." Rikku jogged over to Braska and Auron, who were hovering around the freestanding pillar on the platform. "Hey," she complained to them in a singsong voice. "Jecht's thinking too hard over there and the smell of burning hair is starting to get to me. You guys figure out anything yet?"

"Well," Braska said with frown, "the lights appear to be moving pathways, but they will not hold any solid weight. There must be a way to travel on it."

"I believe it has something to do with this," Auron added, pushing at the pillar, which slid forward easily.

Rikku considered remaining silent and letting the men solve the labyrinth on their own. That would be the fair thing to do, she knew; using her own knowledge would be cheating somehow. _And Yevon knows we shouldn't cheat,_ Rikku thought.

"What, this old thing?" she said, tripping past Auron and slamming into the pillar. Her not-so-subtle push sent it flying over the edge of the stone platform and into the moving path of light, and both Auron and Braska let out a yell of dismay as it fell through. "Oopsie," she giggled, then put on her best surprised expression as the pillar melted into a large disc which hovered over the path. "Well will you look at that!" she cooed.

"Truly amazing magic," Braska murmured in awe.

"Hnn," Auron agreed, sounding distinctly less than amazed. "We still don't know that it's safe."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Rikku cheered, preparing to spring onto the disc.

"Alright! Surfin'!" Jecht roared as he landed on the disc ahead of her.

 _Double damn those Blitzball reflexes!_ Rikku growled to herself as the disc took off with a laughing Jecht on it. "Get back here Jecht! He doesn't even know what he's doing!" she groaned in frustration as the disc whizzed out of sight.

"Touching as your concern for his safety is," Auron noted, still wary of the path, "we have no idea where he -" His sentence ended abruptly as a soft hissing was heard. A sphere pillar faded into view where the old one once stood. No one noticed Rikku discreetly plugging her ears.

" ** _AHH!_ ** " Jecht's materialization over the platform was heralded by his loud yell. He landed on the ground face-first. Standing slowly, he wobbled, his eyes unfocused. "I gotta stop doin' that."

"I fear this may be more complicated than I first thought," Braska said. "What happened? What did you see?"

"Damn thing's fast," Jecht managed to grunt. "Lights… lotsa turns… and the drop-off at the end's a real bitch."

"But it did bring you back safely," Braska noted with a determined expression. He leaned over and pushed the pillar back onto the walkway, and the disc reformed.

"Surely you aren't thinking of using it!" Auron protested. "Look at what it did to Jecht!" The man in question's eyes crossed as he slumped to the ground.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "I don't see a difference from normal.”

"Perhaps it requires the talent of a Summoner to function properly," Braska said, stepping towards the disc. He paused and bowed before it with a resolute expression.

"Umm…" Rikku said, scratching her cheek.

"Have faith, Rikkma," Braska assured her with a warm smile. Then he stepped onto the disc. With a soft whoosh, it disappeared from sight… though Braska's surprised yell at the speed with which it jumped into motion didn't fade quite as quickly.

Rikku winced and surreptitiously brought her fingers back towards her ears. To his credit, Braska didn't shout quite as loudly as Jecht had. He crashed to the ground in a tangle of robes in front of them.

"I think… this will take more… than just faith," Braska mumbled, casting a healing spell over himself. Then he smiled wryly at Auron and Rikku. "So who will be the next victim of this Trial?"

Auron paled, but shoved the pillar onto the walkway with a grim expression. "This is not a good idea." He approached the floating disc.

Rikku silently agreed; Bevelle's Cloister had been difficult enough for Yuna's large party to unravel, and right now they were only four. Thinking back on it, she realized it might have taken even longer for them to solve had it not been for Auron's subtle assistance.

 _Except now he's not here… I am._ Rikku wasn't entirely sure _this_ Auron would have accepted any help from her under normal circumstances; however, he still appeared to be rather shaken by the unexpected presence of the "non-machina" inside the temple. He hesitated in front of the floating disc, displaying his reluctance to board it.

Jecht, who had recovered with the help of one of Braska's Cures, let out a hearty laugh. "Well ain't this a first! The great and mighty Auron's actually scared of a little joyride! Rikkma, you should be recordin' this!"

Auron's jaw clenched and he stepped onto the disc. It drifted away from the others at the same rapid pace as before.

"Right!" Rikku yelled, dashing towards the walkway and leaping. She slammed into a very surprised Auron and nearly pushed them both over the edge. The gamble was worth it, however, as Auron's arms reflexively wrapped around her and they fell to their knees, off-balance.

Her nose was pushing into his armored chest, but she ignored the awkward position in favor of inhaling deeply. _Wow… he smells really good,_ she noted, enjoying the feel of his arms when they tightened around her. The disc was moving rapidly, creating a pleasant breeze which tugged at her hair. It was barely enough to cool her skin, though, which seemed to be overheating while in such close proximity to him -

"Rikkma!" Auron's tense yell, underlined with a note of panic cleaved through her short-lived fantasy, and she realized they were still moving very quickly. It was vertigo, rather than passion, that was causing Auron to cling to her. And, to her own rising dismay, they’d already whisked more than three-fourths of the way down the lit path. The drop-off was approaching too quickly for her liking, and they weren't even on their feet.

"Get off of me!" Rikku yelled, recognizing the last floating checkpoint that they were about to sail over. Out of sheer desperation, she slammed her palms as hard as she could onto the pad, not caring which direction the glowing arrows pointed. With a sudden lurch, the disc came to a halt, and Rikku let out a sigh of relief. Then her stomach leapt into her throat as the disc shot off into the small, dark alcove she had inadvertently steered them into.

Rikku grabbed onto Auron when she felt him sway; besides the fact that he smelled good, she really didn't want him to fall to his death. Her firm grip was broken when the disc spilled them unceremoniously onto solid ground and then shimmered, reforming once more as a solid pillar. She rolled over with a grunt, willing the room to stop spinning. _I_ **_almost_ ** _forgot how much I hate this place_. Hearing a groan, she cracked her eye open and turned her head in the direction it came from.

Auron was sprawled face down on the stone, not looking much better off. Some of his long hair had been knocked free of his impeccable ponytail; two dark strands framed his strong features like jagged spikes over each cheek.

Somehow, it underlined his strange youthfulness that still took her by surprise; a good part of the older Auron's allure had been the mystery that was hiding behind his sunglasses and high collar. The young Auron was blatantly more beautiful to look at. Had he shown any interest in Blitzball at all, Rikku was sure he would've become a star player just for his looks alone. Unfortunately, that dream-inducing face was currently flushed an interesting shade of greenish-white, made all the more eerie by the lack of natural light. The neon glow of the walkway was the only illumination available, making him look even more gaunt.

"Hey, are you okay?" Rikku asked, crawling over to him.

Auron pushed himself up to his knees and leaned back on his heels, dropping his eyes closed. "I need… a moment," he managed to say.

Rikku scooted away from him and studied their surroundings. She recognized where they’d landed when she spotted the empty socket in the wall. _There’s nothing we can do here until we find a Bevelle sphere._ Trying to give Auron the privacy he needed to compose himself, she busied herself with the needless task of inspecting the wall socket anyway. Glancing over her shoulder when she heard the soft rustle of cloth, she watched Auron stand.

"… Thank you for your discretion," he told her, clearly uncomfortable. Then he took in their surroundings. "How did we end up here?"

"Well, umm… we were going really fast, and there was this flashy light thingy on the ground, so I just hit it as hard as I could," Rikku explained. "I think it throws the disc in the direction the light shines."

"Hnn," Auron muttered, pacing the area. "Have you discovered anything else here?"

Rikku shook her head. "No… this looks like a dead end. I think we gotta go back and try again." She noticed Auron wince and eyed him uncertainly. "Of course, if you're not up to it…"

Auron spun around. "You're remarkably unconcerned by what you've seen here so far," he observed.

"Well… we Al Bhed see lots of strange things all the time!" Rikku covered with a nervous smile. She knew he didn't believe her, but after a moment he dropped the glare for an exasperated grunt and began to pull at the loose strands of hair that had fallen around his face. "Oh, don't do that!" she protested, and then mentally kicked herself.

"Don't do what?" Auron asked, still tucking the errant wisps of hair away. His eyes widened in surprise and he nearly flinched when Rikku stepped to his side and reached towards his face. "What do you think you're…" His indignant words trailed off when she batted his fingers away and smoothed the loose hair back down.

Rikku fussed with the strands for longer than necessary, feeling her own face growing warm. Auron stood stock still, his eyes dark and hard; she wasn't certain if he was angry or not for touching him without invitation, even if it was just his hair. Still, he hadn't drawn his sword, so she took it as an encouraging sign. "You look better this way," she murmured, finally releasing him and stepping away. "More… human."

He continued to stare at her, and she felt the tell-tale blush spreading over her cheeks and upgrading from red to nearly-purple. "Sorry," Rikku managed squeak out in mortification, whirling away from him. She purposefully ignored him and pushed the pillar back onto the walkway to form another travelling disc. "You know, you can wait here if you want. I'm sure I'd be able to find you again, no problem!"

"No."

Rikku jumped when she realized Auron was already standing by her side. She wondered if learning how to sneak around was mandatory for Yevon's Warrior-Monks; it seemed distinctly unfair to her that someone as large as Auron could still make less noise than she moving from place to place. Then again, he didn't wear glass beads in his hair.

"I will accompany you," he said, grasping her by the elbow as they stepped onto the disc together. It shot forward, and the warmth of his hand dropped away. Rikku swallowed and forced herself not to rub her skin where he had touched her; a small movement at the corner of her eye made her glance upwards at Auron's head.

He still looked uncomfortable, though his gaze was now fixed on the shifting light of the pathway, studying its patterns and searching carefully for the directional pad that would alter their course. That he had mostly overcome his vertigo wasn't what made her blink, though. It was the two loose strands of hair twisting in the breeze that brought a smile to her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: rephrasing, italics, adverb removal, removed Jecht's scars


	9. A Matter of Fayth

Auron stood at the edge of the platform, blocking Rikku’s path to the glowing disc. “No. We still haven’t finished exploring this level.”

“Well we haven’t explored down that way yet either!” Rikku protested. She tried to edge around Auron’s side; he crossed his arms and widened his stance.

“It leads to a completely different segment of the labyrinth,” Auron said stubbornly.

“And that’s exactly why we should take it!” Rikku tried to squeeze through on his other side; once again, Auron stepped into her path. “All we've found are dead ends up here anyway!"

"We are not leaving this level until we've finished…” Auron trailed off as Rikku finally found an opening in his defense and threw herself past him. “Rikkma? What are you -” He cut off into a strangled cry as she grabbed the collar of his robe and hauled him onto the disc behind her.

"Hah, I got it, so there!” Rikku said, dancing in place. The disc leapt into motion, and she slowed as it approached a dropoff. “Oh… uh, wow, that's a pretty steep -"

Auron managed to regain his footing just in time to look down. " ** _AUGH!_ ** "

**.x.x.x.**

To say things went smoothly afterwards was optimistic at best. Auron, still smarting from Rikku’s hijack of his careful plan to map out the maze, bickered constantly with her. Though he did learn to navigate the system, their ride was anything but smooth thanks to their arguments.

Rikku wanted to blame the sniping for her own loss of orientation; really, though, Bevelle’s Cloister hadn’t changed at all - it was still dizzying, terrifying and needlessly complex. It was mostly a matter of luck that they managed to avoid a painful spill back into the entrance. Strangely enough, it was Jecht’s loud whoop in the distance that helped her piece together where they were during another runaround; the sound faded all too quickly.

“Hold up,” Rikku told Auron, studying the flashing lights of the disc they stood on. “I think I figured something out.” Waiting until she saw a turn that tickled her memory, she hit the directional pad and hung on as the disc swooped down a new avenue.

Auron observed the path they took; his brow furrowed. “I think you’re right. We haven’t been here before.”

The disc slowed to a stop at a crossing, and Rikku dropped to her knees and looked up. The patterns of light they travelled on crisscrossed over their heads like a spider’s web, and Rikku shivered, feeling very much the trapped insect. The silence was oppressive, broken only by the harsh sound of their breaths in the darkness.

"We should go further," Auron said after studying their choices. He pointed towards a path sloping downwards. Rikku nearly fell off the disc in surprise.

"Huh? I thought you said you wanted to explore every single corner of this place before we took on a new level!" She stood up and carefully stepped around the flashing pad, trying not to activate it.

Auron grimaced and closed his eyes, unable to watch her balancing act. He was holding up fairly well for someone who had been barely able to stand only half an hour earlier. Some things never changed, and his effort to fill the role of a level-headed Guardian was one of them. If he’d donned the collar his future self wore, she might not have noticed the thin beads of perspiration that shone on his neck.

"We should establish how many levels there are to explore first, then find our way back to Braska and Jecht. If we don't, we might end up trapped here for hours," he explained.

"Ohh… well, okay," Rikku said, edging closer to Auron. Even if she could deal with the height better than he, her stomach still protested at the thought of another rapid descent on their flimsy elevator. He gave her a look when she grabbed onto his arm and clutched it in a death grip, but she returned it with a determined scowl. "Don't make that mean face at me! This place is scarier than you!"

Auron rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the flashing pad. "Are you ready?"

Rikku bobbed her head, and he lifted a boot and stomped. There was a brief, dizzying moment of anticipation as the disc rotated slowly, and then they were falling faster than ever. Auron dropped to one knee to keep his balance. Rikku, still holding onto his arm, lost her own and pitched forward as the disc rounded a sharp turn.

For one frozen moment, the sensation of freefall caught up with her; it was the opposite of her experience on the Farplane. This time she was blanketed in darkness instead of light, and Auron was watching her fall with two eyes instead of one. Then with a jolt, she wasn't falling, simply dangling off disc, her wrist locked in the painful grip of his hand as he tried to hold her up.

"Rikkma!" he grunted, squinting at the pathway as they moved. "Grab my arm, quickly!"

Rikku twisted upwards, reaching for him, and caught a glimpse of the fast-approaching platform at the end of the dim tunnel. Her eyes widened; if she didn't move - and _fast_ \- the disc would dump Auron off, and she'd either fall if he let go or be smashed against the hard stone if he didn't. Neither option seemed particularly survivable, so with renewed effort she reached up and clutched at his red cloak, trying to haul herself back onto their disc.

_I'm not fast enough!_ Rikku realized, and squeezed her eyes shut as they connected with the platform.

Instead of feeling pain, she was airborne; rather than falling, however, it felt like she was _thrown_ through the air. Then she crashed into something. Surprisingly, the stone wasn't as painful as she expected. It wasn't actually all that hard. And it was warm. _And_ it groaned underneath her. Cracking open an eye, she found herself face to face with Auron.

His eyes were shut, and his hand was still locked around her wrist so tightly that she was sure it would have a black and blue handprint on it the next day. Not that she minded, considering that it was the hand that saved her from a painful death. More distracting, however, was his other arm, which was wrapped around her waist.

She tried not to be impressed that Auron had literally thrown her out of danger with one hand; after all, this was the man who spent his days wielding a sword almost as big as she was as though it was a mere toothpick. Then again, Rikku had fallen into the habit of indulging in Barkeep's homemade chocobo-chips in recent years, and she was fairly certain she weighed more than Auron's sword.

Her gaze dropped back to the hand at her waist; this was closer she had ever gotten to Auron before, and it felt strangely intimate despite their obvious discomfort. Granted, he was holding her more like someone might haul a sack of potatoes around than a lover, but it didn't change the fact that _his arm_ was around _her waist_.

"T-thanks," she mumbled, her face growing warm. Then to her great disappointment, Auron released his hold and pushed her away.

"Hnn," he grunted in reply, sitting up with a wince. "Are you all right?"

Rikku rubbed at her sore wrist, trying to slow the pounding of her heart. "Yeah." She let out a shaky breath, sitting back and avoiding his gaze. "What a rush! That was almost as bad as when Brother pilots the airship!"

"Airship?" Auron glanced at her sharply.

Rikku’s flush deepened and she cast about for a distraction. "Oh look! A Bevelle sphere!" She pointed at the glowing orb that was set into a recess above Auron's head.

Auron didn't turn and his eyes narrowed. "I'm not stupid. You have nowhere to run, Rikkma. If that's even your real name."

"I never said you were stupid," Rikku countered, scooting away from Auron. Not that it meant she could go very far; the platform the disc had dumped them onto was relatively small.

"Then why do you continue to lie?" he replied. His stern expression softened as he watched her fidget. "I just saved your life. The least you can do is tell me who you really are."

_Would that change things?_ Rikku wondered. Auron wasn't blind; with everything they’d been through by now, _surely_ he would have recognized her when she washed up on the shore of the Moonflow in front of Tidus years ago. Which left the question of why he didn't say anything when they first met. True, she had only been fifteen years old at the time, but five years couldn't change a person that much, could they? So it shouldn't _really_ matter if she told him her name or not, she reasoned. She looked at Auron, who was still studying her with fierce intensity.

_But a name has power._

The silence stretched thin between them, and Auron's patience ran out. He stood up and turned around to inspect the glowing sphere. Rikku didn't miss the disgusted look on his face, though, and clasped her hands together tightly. Even now, even as a stranger and a Yevonite at that, she wanted more than anything to have his respect if nothing else.

"Rikku," she said quietly.

Auron stopped and looked at her. "And the airship? Are they more than just thousand-year-old legends too?"

Rikku bit her lip. "If you don't like it when I lie, then don't ask me that," she replied, rolling to her feet. "I can't tell you."

He studied her for a moment longer before turning back to the sphere with a grunt. "Fair enough. Thank you, Rikku."

Auron didn't seem to be too knowledgeable about Cid's family, and Rikku let out a soft sigh of relief. Still, she wasn't quite optimistic enough to assume that Braska was similarly uninformed. "You won't tell the others, will you?" she asked, approaching his side.

"You've proven trustworthy so far," Auron admitted. "But why hide your name? Are you a wanted criminal among the Al Bhed?" He kept his tone neutral, but once again Rikku sensed that he was asking more on Braska's behalf than hers.

"It's not what you think," Rikku said. "It'd just be better for everybody if they didn't know." She reached to take the sphere.

"No!" Auron caught her outstretched hand and Rikku froze and swallowed.

"Please…" She began to quake with growing fear. _It doesn’t matter how I feel about Auron… I can’t let him ruin my chance to get back!_ "You can blackmail me, or tell me to get lost after this if you don't want me around anymore. You can even turn me in to the temple guards. Just whatever you do, please, please, _please_ don't tell Braska my real name!"

Something flickered across Auron's face before his stern mask fell back into place, and his grip on her hand tightened. "We don't know what will happen if you remove that sphere," he said gruffly.

"Sphere?" She trailed off in confusion. Then she looked at the recess. "Oh!" Rikku pulled her hand away from the sphere and out of his grasp and tried not to die of mortification. _Like, duh! Get your head on straight, Rikku! He’s talking about the sphere!_ "Well, what else are we gonna do with it?" she asked, giving him a cheeky glare which she hoped covered the scope of her embarrassment.

"We need to return to the others and speak with them about this first," Auron replied, turning back to the transformed pillar and pushing it onto the walkway. Rikku took the opportunity to snatch the sphere despite his warning. When he turned around and saw what she had done, a more familiar look of annoyance crossed his face. She happily ignored it in favor of holding the Bevelle sphere above her head.

"Nothing bad happened, see?" she chirped. "Now we can go back to the others. We'll have this puzzle solved in no time, promise!"

"Unbelievable," she heard Auron mutter under his breath, offering her his arm. "Hold on more tightly this time," he instructed when he found her staring in shock. "And you have my word."

Rikku looked up from Auron's outstretched arm and into his face. "What word?"

"I won't inform Lord Braska of your deception. You have your reasons. As long as they don't endanger the Pilgrimage, you may keep them to yourself."

As she took his arm, Rikku was sure the smile spreading over her face was bright enough to light up the entire cavern.

**.x.x.x.**

_No time_ translated into almost two hours for Braska's small party; with some gentle prodding, Auron managed to unlock the secret of the spheres. They faced a slight hitch in their progress when he came across the destruction sphere.

When it crystallized out of nothingness before their eyes, even Rikku couldn't deny the aura of evil radiating from the small pink globe. She knew the sphere held only a tiny portion of the desperation and hate that drove the awesome power of Anima. The Cloister itself might have been a miracle of machina construction, but the spheres found within were more bound to the summoned magic of the aeons than any machine. It confirmed her suspicion that Seymour already possessed his mother’s powers.

Rikku took it from the socket reluctantly; it felt too cold in her hands, though it burned brightly against the darkness. It was filled with the almost tangible hate of the only permanent aeon capable of surpassing even Bahamut. Justifying to Braska the existence of such an evil tool within the temple would be uncomfortable at best.

Rikku was feeling particularly uncharitable; having been on the receiving end of Anima's attacks courtesy of a Maester, she didn't bother with explanations. Instead she wordlessly handed the sphere to Auron and let him deal with it.

Auron took the discovery in stride; the shock of seeing machina in a temple either prepared him for each new revelation, or at least numbed his response to them. The worry line creased between his eyebrows was beginning to look permanently engrained, though. He spent a short moment staring at it in dismay, then grunted. “We need to solve this puzzle before Braska and Jecht rejoin us,” he said, gripping the sphere with a look of distaste.

“Well, we’ve been at this for long enough,” Rikku told him. “Try sticking it in that socket over there. None of the Bevelle spheres worked, so this might.”

“Such an artifact in a place of holiness,” Auron muttered to himself, but he did as she asked. Thankfully, the evil sphere shattered as it unlocked the final, hard-won path to the Chamber of the Fayth.

Auron stared at the exit for so long that Rikku grew worried.

“Hey, are you -”

Turning, he stomped past her, returning to the glowing pad. “Let’s get the others,” he ground out, upset by what he’d seen. “The sooner we leave this Trial, the better.”

**.x.x.x.**

“You’ve returned!” Braska’s relief was tempered by the surprise that Rikku and Auron’s arrival was sedate, rather than an unceremonious fall from above.

“Took ya long enough,” Jecht grumbled. He was sprawled across the ground on his side, picking at his ear with a finger.

“Gross,” Rikku said with a wince.

“Braska.” Auron nodded at the other man. “I apologize for our delay. We successfully cleared a path to the Chamber of the Fayth.”

“Is that so,” Braska said, his eyes lighting thoughtfully. “I was beginning to worry you two had come to blows, but I see I was mistaken. I am glad you were both able to find some common ground during the Trial.”

Auron grimaced at Braska’s amused tone. “Adversity is an effective motivator.”

“Hah! We could hear you guys shoutin’ at each other all the way up here,” Jecht replied, grunting as he stood up. “I was sure you two were gonna off each other before you got back.”

Braska shushed Jecht. “If you’ve found a way through this puzzle, how are we to best reach our goal?” He eyed the glowing disc warily. “I do not believe more than two of us can mount that thing safely at the same time.”

“You’re with me,” Auron said immediately to the Summoner, leaving Rikku gaping.

“Wait a minute!” She stared at Jecht in dismay. “I’m not going anywhere with that walking disaster!”

“Aww, clam down. This’ll be _fun_!” Jecht said with a grin, throwing an arm around Rikku and trapping her. “Like a joyride, right?”

Rikku whimpered. Auron was already guiding Braska onto the disc, his face especially stoic in the face of her accusatory glare. “Join us as soon as you have the chance,” he instructed Rikku. “And resist any urge you may have to lose Jecht.”

“ ‘ey! I heard that!” Jecht scowled and released Rikku, frowning as the disc carried the two men away. Then he turned back with a shrug. “Whatever. Bet it’s gonna take ‘em a while to get through this.”

“Probably,” Rikku agreed. “Our ride isn’t coming back until they’re through using it. So what’cha wanna do while we’re waiting for them?”

Jecht scratched his head. “I dunno. You any good at belchin’ contests?”

Rikku sank to the ground and dropped her face into her hands. “Ugh,” she groaned.

**.x.x.x.**

_Oh thank machina_ , Rikku thought as she and Jecht rode their disc up towards the highest - and last - level of the Cloister of Trials.

"That was even better than surfin'!" Jecht exclaimed as he stepped off. "Are all them Trials this much fun?"

Feeling wobblier than her companion, Rikku landed on her knees and hugged the solid, non-moving stone beneath her. "Thank Ixion they aren't." Pushing herself up, she carefully extracted the Bevelle sphere she had managed to grab on the way out of the maze from her belt pouch.

"You need to learn to live a little," Jecht complained. "Admit it, it was a fun ride!"

"Maybe for you," Rikku groaned, lurching towards the wall. "You didn't spend two hours with Grumpy trying to solve this thing! If I never see another electric path again, it'll be too soon."

Jecht only laughed at her. "Like you minded all that alone time with the Stiff! I bet you couldn't keep your hands off each other."

Rikku turned around and stuck her tongue out at Jecht. "You're such a pervert! Did it ever occur to you that a guy and a girl could be friends without needing to jump all over each other?"

"Lemmie think about it…" Jecht said, stroking his chin as his eyes narrowed. Then he grinned at Rikku. "Nope! 'Sides, a guy like Auron couldn't make normal friends if his life depended on it. So are you two an item already or what?"

Rikku nearly screamed in frustration as she slammed the sphere into the recess hidden in the wall. "Auron doesn't even like me that way, you… you… big tattooed freak!" _Not that I would mind if he did…_

"… clueless…" she heard Jecht muttering under his breath. He watched with interest as the swirling patterns on the floor filled with light from the sphere and a glowing path formed in mid-air. "Neat trick," he commented, looking back to the source of the glow. "You sure this is safe?" He tested the newly formed path with his foot.

Rikku smirked and sprinted past him, twirling around on the suspended bridge in delight. "Pretty sure!" she laughed.

"Rikkma! What are you doing?" Braska's shocked voice brought her out of her dance and she windmilled before regaining her balance. "Where did that come from?" he asked, prodding at the path with his staff.

Auron was behind him, not bothering to eye the path, choosing instead to bestow that honor on Rikku herself. "I thought I told you not to waste any more time in the labyrinth."

"Well you were wrong and I was right, so there!" Rikku pouted, planting her hands on her hips. "Trust me, I have a nose for treasure!" She turned and skipped down the pathway.

Auron began to protest, but Braska held up a hand and stopped him. "She is correct. We are low on funds right now, and a little treasure hunting certainly wouldn't hurt." He followed Rikku down the precarious walk, Auron and Jecht close behind him.

When they finally caught up, Rikku knelt in front of the treasure chest in the center of the large platform. She let out a small squeak of triumph as she swung it open. Then she let out louder, though short-lived scream.

"What's up?" Jecht asked, peering over her shoulder. Frowning, he reached down and grabbed the treasure, pulling it out. "It's just an ugly lookin' sword. Seems like something Auron would get excited about," he mussed, hefting it into the air and turning it around in the dim light.

"No," Rikku said, her eyes wide as she watched Jecht ram the sword's tip into the ground with a loud thunk. "I think it's more suited for you."

The sword in question was oddly beautiful, even if a bit unwieldy; the blackened blade was ornamented with a few swirling patterns and dangling chains; it was even larger than Auron's own heavy sword. Jecht managed to lift it with ease, though he lacked Auron's finesse when handling the massive blade.

What struck Rikku speechless was the fact that she _knew_ it was meant to be Jecht's sword. It was a smaller version of the sword he had wielded in their final battle against him; the triangular tip and patterns were all too familiar. There was something else about it that was also unmistakable; though the true nature of the blade was still locked away inside of its depths, Rikku could feel the power thrumming through the metal from the moment she opened the chest. It was a Celestial Weapon, she was sure of it.

"What luck!" Braska said with a note of relief. "A magic blade, even. Truly, this is a fortunate find. And it looks like I have managed to win this argument after all," he added with a hint of smugness as Jecht scowled at him.

"I ain't usin' no sword," Jecht protested, trying to hand the blade off to Auron.

"That looks more like a bat than a sword to me," Auron countered, refusing to take it. "Keep it, Jecht." The beginnings of a smirk twisted at his lips. "A sword as clumsy as that one deserves to be wielded by a fitting patron."

Jecht scowled, lifting the sword and slashing through the air a few times. "Laugh it up, asshole," he muttered sourly. Then he paused and gave Auron a cocky grin. "But hey. Mine's bigger than yours!"

Rikku dropped her head and groaned. "Oh boy, here we go," she muttered.

Braska chuckled under his breath and helped her to her feet as the two men faced off.

"Size isn't important," Auron replied, drawing his own sword and spinning it around deftly. "You have to know how to wield it properly first."

"You callin' me stupid?" Jecht huffed. Auron's telling silence was enough of an answer.

"Anytime, pal," Jecht grunted, leaning on his sword menacingly. "You and me. I'll show you how good this sword is first-hand."

"Is that a challenge?" Auron replied in a bored tone.

"Rikkma, are you feeling well? You look quite flushed."

Braska's worried question broke her attention away from Auron and Jecht's posturing, and Rikku coughed. "Sorry! Just choking on that smell in the air," she explained. Sniffing dramatically, she wrinkled her nose and made an exaggerated wave in front of her face. "Phew, stinks like a couple of bloated male egos. Do you think they’re going to pull out a ruler and start measuring the length of their _blades_ next?"

Braska laughed, and Rikku pitched her voice to carry across the room. "If you boys are going to go at it with your _great big swords_ , I definitely want a front row seat!" She gave Auron and Jecht a flirtatious wink; the former put his sword away immediately, while the latter stared at her.

"Who're you callin' a pervert now, woman?" Jecht said after a moment, slinging the large sword over his shoulder in a clumsy imitation of Auron.

"What can I say? It's just too easy sometimes." Rikku smirked. "Besides, I think you're rubbing off on me."

"Yevon help us all," Auron muttered under his breath as he stomped back towards the Chamber of the Fayth.

"Jecht. Rikkma. It's time to go," Braska interrupted, his humor falling away.

Rikku swallowed and nodded, trailing behind the men slowly. Her spirits sank with each step closer to the shrine; soon, they would reach Bahamut's chamber, and her short-lived adventure with Braska and his Guardians would be coming to an end. A tiny smile flickered across her face; the door Bahamut had opened had spilled her into an adventure that was nothing like she had expected. She found herself falling into the old routines of a Pilgrimage more easily than she liked to admit. It was in large part thanks to the three men she was accompanying.

Braska, kind and gentle, inspired friendship and loyalty in almost everyone he met. Jecht's rough-and-tumble exterior hid a good heart, even if it wasn't apparent at first glance. And Auron? He might have been lacking the wisdom that age and death brought with it, but in many ways he was still the same driven, dedicated man that she remembered so fondly. And she was finally starting to earn his trust; though Auron had given it freely when they first met on Yuna's Pilgrimage, it was more precious to her now that she had to fight tooth and nail for every grudging centimeter he granted her.

It was unexpectedly difficult to wish each of the men a silent goodbye; they barely knew each other, but she still felt a pang of regret about leaving her newfound friends so soon after meeting them.

The Hymn of the Fayth swelled to an almost painful volume as Rikku scaled the steps, and a shiver passed down her spine. It was easy to forget about Sin when surrounded by laughs and cheer; the haunting melody brought it back all too clearly.

"I don't belong here," she whispered under her breath. Clenching her fists, she sprinted the rest of the way up the steps.

Braska was already at the forefront of the antechamber, bowing respectfully before the heavy stone door which shut off the altar. His face was drawn in concentration; only two things could lift the stone seals which protected the statues of the Fayth: the prayers of a petitioning Summoner or brute strength. Braska straightened, and the door to the chamber slid upwards. Rikku knew it would be her only chance to get inside; she was faster than Auron and Braska, and Jecht wouldn't know any better to stop her. The muscles in her legs tensed as she prepared to sprint -

The Hymn of the Fayth was loud, now, drowning out all other sounds in the room, though the others didn't seem to notice it. Braska moved towards the open door. Jecht slumped to the floor, his mouth forming words as he asked something. Auron crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, and answered him. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

_Move. MOVE!_ Rikku strained to push herself forward, but her body was frozen. The air was heavy with a stifling presence that reverberated through the room; the essence of Bahamut, almost tangible and so oppressive that she couldn't bring herself to move, even breathe. Why couldn't anyone else feel it?

Her eyes strayed back towards Braska and widened; he _could_ feel it, she realized with a shock. Braska swayed slightly, the only sign that gave him away, before stepping forward into the dark passage. The door began to close behind him, and Rikku struggled and pushed with every bit of energy she had. She managed to take a shaking step forward as a moan of dismay erupted from her throat.

Auron was looking at her now, his brows drawn together in concern, and Jecht was clambering to his feet. Rikku ignored them, caught up in the descent of the heavy stone seal. _No!_ she wanted to scream. _You can't leave me here! I DON'T BELONG HERE!_

The door shut with a click, and the heaviness evaporated as suddenly as it had come, sending Rikku onto her hands and knees as it left. She wheezed, sucking air into her lungs, and blinked away the sting of her tears. The first few formed in part because of the physical pain generated by her struggle against Bahamut's power. More leaked out as she realized that returning to her own time wasn't going to be as simple as demanding an audience with the Fayth.

There were hands on her arms, Rikku noticed dully; they lifted her to her feet and dragged her to the stairs, where she was turned and seated carefully. She blinked, looking up, and noticed Jecht was staring at her; his lips were moving. With a start she realized he was talking to her. Shaking her head to clear it, she concentrated on him and sound slowly returned to her surroundings.

"… the hell is wrong with you?" he was asking, waving a hand in front of her face.

"This has happened once before." Auron's voice now, low and concerned; Rikku turned her head and saw that he was standing by her side with a frown on his face. "There was a similar episode in the palace, when we first met."

"Eh?" Jecht said, leaning back on his heels. "You think she's sick?"

Rikku dropped her head onto her knees and groaned. "I'm not sick," she mumbled dejectedly.

"I thought you said these attacks weren't normal," Auron told her, his tone accusing.

Rikku didn't bother to lift her head. "They're not. I never got them before. I don't know why it's happening, _honest_ ," she said, weary.

_I have a good idea, though._ It was Bahamut. She was certain of that. The Fayth didn't _want_ to see her, let alone help her return. She shuddered again, coldness washing over her as the knowledge sunk in. For the first time the possibility dawned that maybe, just maybe, there wasn't going to be a chance to return to _her_ Spira. "I'm stuck," she whispered with a small, panicked giggle. "I'm really stuck here."

"You say somethin'?" Jecht asked her.

Rikku shook her head on her knees, still afraid to look up. "Leave me alone, Jecht," she mumbled. He snorted and moved away, but she heard a soft rustle of cloth; Auron leaned in.

"Rikku, are you all right?" he asked her.

Rikku let out a miserable sniff. She wanted to stand up and beat on the stone door of the Chamber; she wanted to scream that nothing was _all right_ at the top of her lungs, not the least of which was his presence. Auron was _right next to her_ asking how she _felt_ when by all rights he should be _dead_.

"I'm fine," she replied out loud, tightening her grip around her knees. "Just fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: Although there are no major plot changes, I rewrote 90% of this chapter; also fixed the shape of Jecht's sword.


	10. Personal Revelations

Jecht was not a morning person. This became apparent when he shuffled into Braska's kitchen, bleary-eyed and sloppy. His clumsy search of the countertop knocked over more than a few bottles before Rikku decided to try to stop the rampage.

"The tea's right here," she said helpfully, holding up her own mug.

"Screw the tea," Jecht grunted. "You got any booze?"

Braska carefully placed his own cup down and pinned Jecht under a disapproving glare. "I don't drink," he said. "And I would appreciate it if you refrained from doing so while in my house."

Jecht swayed and then grumbled in acquiescence, reaching instead for an empty cup and helping himself to some tea. "Don't see the problem," he grunted. "You let Auron carry that jug around with him wherever he goes."

"That," Braska replied, "is different. All high-ranking Warrior Monks learn how to use blessed wine as a part of their combat training."

Jecht blinked and took a long gulp from his mug. He belched noisily.

Rikku winced. "Eww, morning breath! Keep it to yourself!"

Jecht wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned. "So where do I sign up to become one of these monks?"

Braska sighed and returned to his own small breakfast of sliced fruit. "I want to spend some time with Yuna," he told them. "Please understand. We will be leaving the city early tomorrow, so you are free until then. But for today I would like to have some time alone with my daughter."

"Sure, whatever," Jecht grunted. Then he scrunched his brows and looked around the table. "Where's Auron anyway?" he asked, directing the question at Rikku.

"How should I know?" Rikku stared at Jecht with narrowed eyes as a smirk began to form. "Don't answer that, it's too early to deal with your perverted jokes right now."

"Auron should be outside, training." Braska collected his empty plate and stood up, depositing the dish in the washbasin. "I shall wake Yuna. The city is yours for the day." A small smile crossed his face. "Do try to stay out of trouble," he added.

"Who, us? Trouble?" Rikku said innocently. She ignored Braska's amused chuckle and returned her attention back to her own breakfast, which was more of an exercise in food sculpture than an attempt to eat. Rikku hadn't had much of an appetite since their return yesterday.

"You gonna finish that?"

Rikku shrugged and pushed her plate over to Jecht. The soothing sound of Braska's voice floated into the room as he spoke to Yuna; Rikku blinked sleepily. She planted her chin into a palm and thought about their trip back from the temple.

Braska was successful in obtaining his first aeon, though like his daughter, it had taken the man an extraordinarily long time to do so. He had emerged from the altar looking pale and exhausted, and the small group hadn't managed to do much more than return to his apartment for the night to allow him to recover from the ordeal. Rikku wasn't in any mood to argue with the decision; she was feeling fairly drained herself, though sleep didn't find her as easily as she’d hoped.

Instead, Rikku spent the night twisting possibilities and weighing scenarios in her mind, trying to conjure up a way out of her waking nightmare. Not that she had anything against the current company; rather, the omnipresent threat of Sin, the more nebulous danger of Shuyin and Vegnagun, and even the as-of-yet still teenaged Seymour worried continually at the edges of her mind. In the end, she only managed to reach two concrete conclusions: if Bahamut wanted to be kind, he should have taken her memories when he threw her back, and that her next best hope to return would be to find a way into this world's Farplane. If anything, she could always fling herself off into the mists once more and hope for a repeat performance. Or a messy death. But hey, at least it would be in the Farplane, rather than one of the temples. Or worse yet, in the aftermath of one of Sin's random attacks.

The only monkey wrench in Rikku's plan was the location of the Farplane. Outsiders were hardly welcome in Guadosalam. It was true that missionaries of the Church had been quite busy proselytizing to the Guado for years; Lord Jyscal’s conversion was considered one of Yevon’s greatest successes. Still, the sheer lack of Guado even on the streets of Bevelle clued Rikku in to the potential difficulty of being granted an audience within the xenophobic city. Being a part of Braska’s summoning party would certainly help; it was enough of an answer to allow her to fall into an uneasy sleep. It didn't keep away the nightmares, though, and Rikku woke early, before either Yuna or Jecht.

Not before Braska, however, whom she found sitting alone at the table, plagued by his own demons. And of course not before Auron, who along with his sword was already missing from the tiny apartment. She and Braska hadn't exchanged any words then, just a meeting of eyes and a morbid silence. Unable to take it, Rikku had finally gotten up and puttered around the kitchen, pulling out mugs and jars until she found Braska's stash of tea and applied herself to preparing a pot.

"You're really going to do this," she stated when she was finished, setting a mug in front of him.

He took it from her gratefully and bowed his head. "Perhaps it is not fair to Yuna," he admitted. "But it is all I have left to give her."

"No it's not!" Rikku blurted out then. "You're just taking the easy way out, you know that? Yunie doesn't need a Calm, she needs a dad!"

Braska had looked at her, laughing without humor, and nodded. "You are partially right. I am a selfish man." And then, his eyes filling with pain, he had reached out and clasped her hand. "More than anything else, I wish to see my wife again. If it was not for Yuna…" he trailed off.

Rikku heard it then, in his voice; he wanted to die, and it had nothing to do with Sin or the Pilgrimage at all. His fingers tightened around hers and he was looking at her, but not seeing her. "Raenn," he murmured. "Would that you were real. I would give anything to see you again."

Rikku felt a shiver pass through her. Weren't those her thoughts reflected in his face? Her own desires, the unvoiced ones that had formed Auron's image on the Farplane? Scared by the intensity of his words, she extracted her palm from his grip and stared at the floor. The movement woke Braska, and he caught her eyes.

"I am not selfish enough to take that journey without giving something back as well. You are wrong. Yuna _does_ need a Calm. Every man, woman and child in Spira needs the Calm. I will not have my daughter raised in fear as well as exile."

"Even if it means she has to be alone?"

Braska closed his eyes. "If I manage to bring the Calm, she will never be alone."

"That's not what I meant!" Rikku snapped. "She won't have _you._ "

"She will have to manage." The tense silence that had risen in the wake of Braska's uncompromising reply remained in place until Jecht's bumbling interruption.

Bringing herself out of her reflection, Rikku watched the other man eat, oblivious to her troubled silence. Irritated, Rikku stood. In no mood to deal with Jecht’s ignorance, she left him at the table and wandered towards the exit.

"Say hi to Auron when you see him," Jecht hooted after her.

"Who said I'm looking for him?" Rikku called over her shoulder, scowling and resisting the urge to slam the door behind her. She stomped down the narrow staircase and skipped out into the empty street, glancing over her surroundings. Auron was nowhere in sight, and Rikku huffed and paced restlessly across the sidewalk in front of the building.

"I'm _so_ not looking for him," she repeated to herself even as her feet carried her back up the stairwell. She passed Braska's door and continued upward, climbing steadily until she reached the door to the roof. Easing it open, she peered out.

Auron was practicing, just as Braska said. He must have been there for some time already; the red coat was neatly folded next to the door, and his ever-present jug was lying on top of it. Shutting the door, Rikku seated herself next to his things and admired the show.

He hadn't yet noticed her, continuing to sling his sword through the air in the clean, focused strikes of a kata. Auron's mastery of the blade was a thing of beauty; he moved fluidly through each twist and slash as though the motions were effortless. She admired the finely muscled curve of his arms, which were covered with a thin layer of sweat that glistened in the morning light. They were strong and sharply defined, and in her opinion much too often hidden beneath the folds of his thick red coat. She fleetingly thought of hacking the sleeves of said coat off with her daggers while he wasn't looking, even going so far as to pick up the fabric and rub it beneath her fingers.

Auron whirled around, slashing his sword downwards with a grunt. His eyes widened with surprise, but he checked the motion of his swing precisely at the moment he saw her. Rikku was impressed; he managed to hold the blade perfectly still despite its weight and the force of his own strike. Then again, by the time they had finally faced Sin together, Auron was even better with the sword than he was now.

"Enjoying yourself?" Auron asked dryly.

"Oh, don't stop just ‘cause of little old me!" Rikku offered, giving him a cheerful wave and tucking his coat back underneath the jug.

"I don't think so," Auron told her, hitching the sword over his back and approaching. He leaned over and grabbed his coat, inspecting it for damage before donning it, and then to her surprise settled beside her on the ground. Rikku sniffed and made a face; even if perspiration _looked_ good on him, it smelled anything but.

"Do you do this every morning?" she asked.

Auron nodded, wiping away some of the sweat from his forehead.

Rikku let out a disappointed sigh. "Then I think I'm really going to miss showers when we start travelling."

The low noise that came out of Auron's throat could have been either a grunt of annoyance or an amused chuckle; it died out as he regarded her. "So you've decided to stay with us beyond Bevelle, then?"   


"I think I don't have much of a choice," Rikku admitted. Then she smiled at him. "Besides, you guys are starting to grow on me. I thought maybe I should stick around and keep you from murdering Jecht."

The rumble that came out of Auron's throat next was definitely a laugh. "By providing us with a new target?" he finished for her, uncapping his jug and lifting it to his lips.

"Whoa!" Rikku yelled, her eyes growing large. "I thought Braska said that was holy combat nog or something!"

Auron lowered the jug. "It is," he answered with a straight face.

Rikku scowled at him. "Well isn't it a little too soon for that, huh?"

"I have to find some way to deal with you this early in the morning."

She stopped trying to hide her stare. He looked back at her impassively, and that's when it struck her. "You just made a joke!" she told him, sticking her finger into his face. Not that she wasn't delighted to have witnessed it, but the more immediate concern was that she was the butt of it, and that, in Rikku's mind, was clearly unacceptable.

"So I did," Auron mused. "It must be the wine." This time the amusement in his voice was evident.

Gaping, Rikku crossed her arms. "I should've snitched your sleeves while I had the chance," she huffed. "So much for being nice!"

"Rikku," Auron said, and she quieted down. The amusement in his tone had died out, and he half-turned to look at her. "These… attacks you've been having," he began. "Do you have any idea of what might be causing them?"

"Maybe," Rikku said uncertainly. "But I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"

Auron frowned. "My condition for secrecy is that you do not hinder Braska's Pilgrimage. If these attacks are going to become a liability -"

Rikku groaned. "I'm not going to drag you guys down, okay?" She crossed her arms and glared at Auron. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"You are persistent," Auron admitted.

Rikku smiled at him and flipped a braid away from her face. "One of my better qualities, of course!" she bragged. Her smile faltered and dropped when she realized that _he_ wasn't about to give up either.

"What is it that you really want?" he asked. It was an honest question for once; not one stacked with ulterior motives and double meanings. He was asking for her, not Braska. It made her smile, though the question still left her confused. So she voiced her confusion.

"What’cha mean?"

Auron stared out into the open expanse of sky, or at least what could be seen of it from within the crowded confines of Bevelle. Rikku followed his example and squinted at the small strip of blue, which shone brightly over the dark, gloomy buildings surrounding them. It really did feel like Bevelle existed in a different world from the rest of Spira. For a brief moment Rikku found herself wishing Sin would come and attack the city, tearing down its man-made barriers and forcing its residents to rejoin the rest of the world outside. Then the moment passed and was replaced with a deep-rooted shame for having even thought of it.

"What are you searching for?" Auron's deep voice swept away the guilty reflection, demanding her attention. "You obviously don't believe in the teachings of Yevon, but you are still here, and a Guardian no less."

Rikku slumped. "Once upon a time," she said, "someone told me that the Fayth are the ones who give power to the Summoners. Not the temples and not the Teachings." She couldn’t stop the nostalgic smile that bloomed. "Just because I don't like Yevon doesn't mean I can't be a good Guardian."

Auron considered her reply before speaking once more. "That doesn't answer the question."

Rikku leaned back onto her elbows and stretched out her legs. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of the air and the warmth of the morning sun. If she pretended, she could almost imagine that she wasn't surrounded by the dingy, dirty slums of Bevelle. She could be lying on the deck of the Celsius, lazing around while waiting for Buddy to report on the next round of sphere waves and complaining to herself about how busy she was doing nothing important.

"I want a world without Sin," she replied without hesitation. "…I want to go home."

Auron, of course, didn't understand. "Then why don't you?"

"I would if I could but I can't, okay?" Rikku snapped bitterly, breaking the peaceful atmosphere between them.

He recoiled, then answered her just as harshly. "So you chose a Guardian's path simply because you have nothing better to do with yourself."

Rikku winced. "That's not what I meant! I really do want to see a world without Sin," she told him, her anger deflating with every word. "I know it's possible."

"Lord Braska will bring the Calm, whether you are with us or not." Auron’s glare was cold, and she could almost see all the progress she’d made befriending him in the past two days crumbling away. She tried to take comfort from the fact that he was still talking to her, but his tone had turned businesslike, and it made her heart sink. "If you can't even decide on your own goals, then you will fail in your duty as a Guardian. You'll have to make up your mind."

Rikku froze, chilled by his words. _You'll have to choose what you love more in the end. Is that what you meant?_ she thought, feeling her insides twist. The whispered question made sense now; she cursed herself for having clung to her memory of Auron so tightly that it had blinded her to his sacrifice. Braska and Yuna's sacrifice. Jecht and Tidus' sacrifice. She had wished for the world to revolve around her, and her wish had been granted. And now here she was, with the power to change everything. She could destroy Spira - all for a foolish, selfish crush on a man long dead.

If she had been grateful, she would have been congratulating Yuna and Tidus on their new life together, rather than watching them jealously from the sidelines; flirting with Gippal rather than spurning his advances in favor of moping on the Farplane. She should have spent her time _living with what was_ rather than _wishing for what could have been._ Now Auron was here, whole and young and alive, and more receptive to her advances than he had ever been before - though that still wasn't saying much. The only price she had to pay for her dream was Spira's happiness.

_He knew I could never choose that._

The irony of her "victory" made her laugh out loud. Auron was looking at her strangely, and Rikku smiled at him. "Hey Auron," she said. "Did you know that being in love feels like walking on pins and needles?"

“Love?” His eyebrows drew together and he looked away, caught off guard. "I wouldn't know," he answered.

Rikku let herself sprawl all the way down onto the ground, staring up into the sky. "Yeah, you do," she corrected him. "You love Braska."

"Are you implying that I -" he began indignantly, but Rikku cut him off.

"You're not Jecht. Stop thinking those weird perverted thoughts!" she snapped.

Auron opened his mouth to protest, and then closed it. A shadow crossed his face, followed by a wry smile. "… yes," he said after a moment of silent consideration. "Yes, it does feel that way, doesn't it."

He turned to face her, but Rikku avoided his gaze. After her revelation, she couldn't bear to look into his eyes. It was immeasurably worse than wishing for Sin to destroy Bevelle.

"You're a strange riddle," Auron told her. "You want to help us, but you abhor the Summoner's path. You wish for the Calm, but you disapprove of the Pilgrimage. You want to return to your home, but you remain with us."

"I guess I'm just a gal who wants it all," Rikku answered.

She heard Auron standing up; from her position on the ground, seeing his face was unavoidable. He was looking at her with a mix of pity and confusion. "I don't know your secrets, but I can tell you this much. You cannot be of two minds, Rikku."

Rikku turned her head and stared at him; it was painful, considering how bright the backdrop of the sky was against his darkly shaded face. _Separate worlds_ , she thought.

"Choose one path, and follow it with all your heart. It will make things…"

"Easier?" Rikku supplied.

"… simpler," he answered. He turned to leave, and Rikku tilted her head back to watch him.

"Hey, where are you going?" she asked.

He faced her again and the hint of a smile tugged at his lips. "Apparently I need a shower." Pulling open the door, he stepped into the building. Rikku watched until until the closing door obscured him.

"You aren't making it any easier, stupid-head."

**.x.x.x.**

After Auron left, Rikku fell asleep on the rooftop. When she eventually woke and returned to Braska's apartment, not much had changed. Auron was sitting on the couch, idly flipping through a book, while Jecht was lounging in the kitchen. She took one look around the room and decided she needed a distraction; the party was definitely not happening here.

"I'm bored!" Rikku rolled on the balls of her feet, swaying back and forth in front of Auron while pouting.

Auron looked up from the book he was reading and glared at her. "Go bother someone else."

"Meanie." Rikku stuck out her tongue and flounced away from the couch, making her way to the kitchen table. Jecht sprawled over a chair there, looking just as bored as she felt. "I'm bored!" she repeated to him.

Jecht didn't bother to move, only rolling his eyes in her direction. "So am I!" he complained.

"Well, what should we do?" she asked, arms akimbo. "Braska still isn't back yet, and it's way long before it'll get dark outside!"

Jecht roused himself out of his lazy slump. "Well… how 'bout we explore the city?"

"No," Auron called out from the couch, not bothering to look up.

"Hey!" Rikku and Jecht yelled simultaneously.

"No," Auron repeated with authority. "You both stick out like a sore thumb. The last thing we need is to have either of you getting arrested again. Besides, you have no money," he added, looking pointedly at Rikku. "Stay indoors and keep your heads low. We leave Bevelle tomorrow."

"Aw, man!" Jecht groaned, melting back into his seat. "Wish you hadn't busted up the damn blitzball."

"Hmph," Auron grunted with a note of malicious satisfaction.

Rikku was unwilling to accept defeat as easily as Jecht did. Her eyes roved around the tiny apartment until they settled on the two massive swords propped against the corner of the sitting room. "Hey Jecht." She kicked at the sole of his foot to get his attention, and he twitched in annoyance.

"Whadda ya want, Blondie?"

"Lemmie see your sword again!" Rikku told him, pointing at it.

Jecht lolled his head back. "You can see fine it from here."

Rikku sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I can't lift it!" Jecht snorted and made no attempt to move, and Rikku stomped her foot on the ground. "Jecht!"

"Alright, alright!" he groaned, slouching out of his seat and towards his sword. He grabbed it and hefted it into the air. "Happy now?"

Rikku studied the blade. The black metal thrummed with power underneath her fingertips; it was so saturated with magic energy that it almost tingled. Despite that, there was no obvious benefit, magical or otherwise, to using the sword as anything other than just another sharp edge. Neither she nor Braska had managed to figure out how to unlock the secrets hidden within the blade. "You can feel it, can't you?" she asked, stroking the red runes. "This sword is special."

"It don't feel all that special to me," Jecht said, pulling it away from her.

Rikku pursed her lips together in exasperation. "That's because you don't know how to use it yet, dork!" she replied. "You're not much of a caster, are you."

"I know a little white magic!" Jecht protested, and Rikku gawked at him. Auron also set his book aside and looked up in surprise.

"You know magic," he repeated, his expression clearly indicating his disbelief.

Jecht grumbled and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. Well all I really know is a little Haste spell and how to do some Scannin'. S'good for blitzin' … and scopin' out the ladies."

Auron relaxed into his chair with a look of disgust. "I should have guessed," he mumbled, once again disinterested in their conversation.

"Perv," Rikku said under her breath. "And don't you dare try that on me! I have eyes in the back of my head!"

"No, you don't," Jecht countered. "I checked already." He laughed loudly as Rikku spent a few moments fuming at him.

"Well if you know magic, how can you _not_ feel it?" Rikku asked, smacking the blade into the floor. The tip landed in the threadbare carpet, giving it a new tear.

"Don't do that," Auron droned from the couch, flipping to a new page. "Go outside if you're going to manhandle that thing."

Jecht rolled his eyes and Rikku glared at Auron, who ignored both of them. Then she shifted her attention back to the sword. "You really can't feel it? I mean this thing is practically oozing magic!"

"I can feel it just fine," Jecht replied. "It don't do nothin' special though, besides feel weird when I touch it." He grimaced and tried to stow his sword back into the corner, but Rikku stopped him.

"Don't you want to learn how to use it at least?" she asked.

"Nope," Jecht replied, pulling the sword out of her grasp.

Rikku pouted. "I thought you said you were bored!"

"I ain't that bored!" Jecht growled. "Get back to buggin' Auron already!"

"Fine, I will!" Rikku huffed, stomping over to the couch and stopping in front of Auron. He remained engrossed in his book, but she saw him tense at her approach. "Oh Auron," she called sweetly, swaying back and forth.

"No."

Rikku wilted, then scowled at him. "Sheesh, you have a limited vocabulary, don't you?" Auron glowered but refused to put away his book. "C'mon!" Rikku whined insistently. "You know he needs it!"

"The hell?" Jecht interrupted, crossing his arms. "I don't need his help!"

"Stop being so stubborn, both of you!" Rikku jumped in frustration. "Don't you wanna protect Braska?" That seemed to have struck a nerve, at least with Auron. With a long-suffering sigh, he snapped the book shut and placed it aside.

"Fine." He stood up and brushed past Rikku and Jecht, grabbing his sword. "I'll be on the rooftop."

"Don't wait up," Jecht called after Auron as he pulled the front door open.

Auron stopped and turned to Rikku, his gaze hard. "Whether or not he decides to come is no concern of mine." Then he slipped out the door, slamming it behind himself.

 _Mission Train Jecht: Part One, accomplished!_ Rikku cheered to herself. Then she put on a stern expression and faced the second half of the problem. "Jecht!"

"Uh-uh," Jecht said, backing away from her. "I ain't goin'!"

Rikku smiled at him. "You know you're just proving that Auron really is better than you by acting like such a scaredy-cat!"

Jecht pouted stubbornly. "I ain't fallin' for that."

"Falling for what? The truth?" Rikku threw her hands up. "Once we hit the road, the first fiend we meet is gonna tear you apart unless you figure out how to use that sword."

"I'd rather get a few knocks from a fiend than feed the Stiff's ego." He refused to budge.

"His name is Auron and he's not a stiff!" Rikku glared at Jecht and tried a new tactic. "In case you didn't notice, he's trying to help you out here. Now take this sword…" She grabbed onto the handle of Jecht's sword as she spoke and tried to lift it. Not surprisingly, it wasn't happening. Paine had always told her she had the upper body strength of a hypello, and she wasn't far off the mark. "Uhh!" Rikku grunted, only managing to move the sword a few inches before resting it on the floor, where it made yet another new tear in the carpet. "This thing is heavy!"

"You look ridiculous." Jecht laughed at her. Rikku was going to scowl at him, but then she realized that a laughing Jecht was more likely to reach the rooftop than a sulking one.

"I wouldn't have to do this if you'd just take this stupid sword…" She grunted, dragging the sword forward again and splitting the hapless carpet apart as she did so. _Auron's so gonna kill me_ . Then Jecht laughed again, and she twitched. _No, he's so gonna kill Jecht when I tell him that this was all his fault._ "… and learn how to use it!" she finished, stopping in front of him.

Jecht sighed and grabbed the sword out of her hand. "Gimme that before you wreck the rest of Braska's pad," he told her.

"So you'll go then?" Rikku asked him hopefully, clasping her hands together under her chin.

"Ugh, yeah, alright. But you're gonna owe me for this one, Rikkma," Jecht strode towards the door, and Rikku skipped behind him with a happy smile.

"Huh, you're comin' too?" Jecht asked, pausing at the door.

Rikku smirked at him and shoved him up the stairs. "Hah, I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

Jecht cursed under his breath. He climbed the stairs and burst out onto the rooftop.

Rikku spilled out behind him and plopped herself onto the ground with a large smile. "Hey hey, let's get this party started!" she called.

Auron turned to face them; he was already waiting. His coat was neatly folded and placed to the side, and he leaned on his sword. "You actually came," he said to Jecht.

"Thanks to your harpy," Jecht grumbled.

Rikku stopped cheering and sent a _Rikku Look_ hurtling towards Jecht. "What was that?" she yelled at him.

"She's not my harpy," Auron answered.

“ _Auron!_ " Rikku screeched, and he glanced at her in surprise.

"Why are you upset with me?" he asked with a note of annoyance.

"Duh!" Rikku shook her fist at him. "You're supposed to say 'She's not **_A_ ** harpy!'"

His smug look returned. "… Why?"

The smile on Jecht's face broadened. "Hah! Maybe you're right, Rikkma, he ain't that much of a Stiff after all!"

That dropped the smirk off of Auron's face, though it didn't change Rikku's expression at all.

"You both suck," she declared. "Go hit each other with your swords or something!"

Jecht continued to laugh at her until Auron interrupted him with a quiet command.

"Now then," he said. "Come at me."

Jecht scratched the back of his head. "Huh?"

Auron grimaced and lifted his sword, sliding into a guard position. "Attack me!" he repeated.

At this Jecht finally picked up his own sword and smiled. "Don't need to ask me twice!" He ran towards Auron, swinging the sword at the other man like a large club.

Rikku thought she saw Auron roll his eyes as he gracefully avoided Jecht's blow. She smiled; it was a technique Auron had already mastered, one she had learned herself from Lulu while travelling together. Jecht was fast, almost as fast as she was, and strong to boot. But Auron knew the strengths and limits of his own body, and trained rigorously to hone the skills he had. You didn't have to be _fast_ when defending, you had to be _agile_. Auron hadn't actually moved from his original spot when Jecht struck, he simply dodged the clumsy strike.

Jecht spun quickly, cleaving downwards with the sword in an attempt to catch Auron off guard. Auron, however, was already prepared and blocked the strike, and with a screech of metal whirled the sword around and sent it flying out of Jecht's hands. It landed with a heavy thunk a few paces in front of Rikku's seat.

"Wow," she yelped, wide-eyed. "That was cool!"

"Damn," Jecht cursed, rubbing his wrist. "That was just luck!"

"It was anything but," Auron countered smoothly. "Get your sword."

"Aw, shaddup," Jecht growled as he stalked over to his weapon. Pulling it from the ground, he whirled and rushed at Auron again without warning.

Rikku winced, Auron sighed, and then with a clang of metal, Jecht's sword was spinning through the air again, this time landing on the opposite side of the roof.

"You need to learn how to wield your sword properly," Auron stated. "It's not a blitzball."

Jecht rubbed his head and stood up slowly from where he’d been knocked to the ground. "Don't matter how I hold the damn thing long as it ends up stuck in your side," he shot back.

"Idiot," Auron huffed, disgusted. "You'll never manage to break through your opponent's defense until you learn how to handle your own weapon."

Jecht's face darkened and he bared his teeth at Auron in an ugly growl. "I don't need this bullshit," he ground out, stalking towards the door.

Auron returned the expression with an annoyed grimace of his own, dropping his sword off of his shoulder and slamming it into the ground in frustration. "Humph. I knew this was a waste of time."

Rikku shot up from her seat and stopped Jecht before he could reach the door, cringing at the tension that was crackling between the two angry men. "Hold up! Wait a second, Jecht!" She grabbed his arm when he pushed past her. He actually did drag her a few paces towards the exit despite her struggle to slow him down before stopping. "Come on, you need to learn this stuff. Auron knows what he's talking about!"

Jecht glared at her, his jaw working tightly. "This ain't what I signed up for," he grunted. "Laugh it up all you want. I ain't gonna sit here and be humiliated by the two of you. Get your kicks some other way."

Rikku released his arm with a silent gasp of surprise. She should have guessed; Jecht was a proud, arrogant man, and Auron was giving that pride a very thorough beating. "Sorry…" she mumbled, ashamed. "We didn't mean it like that."

"Right," Jecht snorted, crossing his arms and glaring at the door.

"Jecht."

The blitzball player spun around to face Auron, who had hefted his own sword back onto his shoulder. "Eh?" he grunted.

"Take up your sword," Auron demanded, inclining his head towards the abandoned blade.

Jecht narrowed his eyes at Auron. "Why the hell should I?"

Auron looked away, tapping his own blade on his shoulder. "Because you show potential," he admitted grudgingly.

The frown on Jecht's face was replaced by a look of surprise. Taking advantage of the moment, Rikku moved behind him and pushed him towards his blade. "Go on, Jecht!" she told him, ushering him to the sword. Finally Jecht shook her off and picked up the weapon on his own.

"Potential, huh?" He flipped the blade in his hands. "Fine. But if I hear either of you laughin' I walk."

Rikku held her hands up and backed away. "I promise not to laugh! I can't even lift your sword!" she told him with a bright smile.

Auron said nothing, only dipping his head in agreement.

"So…" Jecht said, gripping his sword with both hands and pointing it at Auron.

A faint smile crossed Auron's face. "Let’s look at your stance first."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: changed everyone's coffee to tea, since I don't think Spirans could afford to grow coffea with their current climate/landmass/"but then Sin attacked!" ratio; fixed a small plot hole concerning Summoners in Guadosalam; fixed a minor error with Auron's fashion sense; adverb removal


	11. She Knew No Sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"She feared no danger, for she knew no sin."_ \- John Dryden

Rikku shaded her eyes with her hand and looked back at the receding skyline of the city. "Finally," she breathed, letting a small smile of relief stretch over her face. They were leaving Bevelle at last, and the pent-up tension she’d harbored ebbed away with each step.

"Wow!" Yuna's gasp was accompanied by a pointing finger. "Is that Macalania Forest?" She tugged at one of the long strips of cloth that hung from Braska’s helmet.

"Yes, it is.” Braska grinned with a knowing look at the hopeful expression that crossed his daughter’s face. “And no, you can't come with me there. The forest is full of dangerous fiends, it wouldn't be safe."

"But… !" Yuna said stubbornly.

Braska shook his head and bent over, depositing Yuna back onto the ground. "No," he repeated. "You have to leave with Beatrix now. It's time." He reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face.

"I don't want to go," Yuna whispered, her eyes bright.

Braska kneeled and cupped her small chin in his hand, his gaze never leaving her face. "Beatrix," he called out.

"My lord," the woman replied, pulling the unresisting girl away from her father.

Yuna shook herself free, but didn't try to retrace her steps. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut and lifted her chin. "I'm not sad," she stated proudly. "My father’s going be the hero of Spira, so I won’t cry."

Braska smiled. "That's my girl.” Rising to his feet, he turned to Auron. "I'm ready. Look after Jecht, please."

Yuna's face lit up at Braska's words, and Beatrix pulled the little girl even further away. Rikku watched Braska hoist his staff, and with a small "Oh!" of realization, scooted away from him as well. Auron approached Jecht, who was the only person not clearing a wide berth around the Summoner.

"Where's everyone goin'?" Jecht asked, scratching his head. Auron merely turned him around and shoved him towards Rikku. " ‘ey, what's the big idea?"

"Father's going to summon!" Yuna told him, her eyes wide with anticipation.

"Summon?" Jecht asked, looking up from the little girl with the obvious question plastered across his face.

Rikku pointed at Braska. "You'll see. Just keep quiet and watch!"

Braska was poised, motionless but for the breeze which tugged at his clothes. Then, taking a deep breath, he began to dance. Rikku inhaled sharply; the Summoner's dance was impressive no matter who performed it. It was something she never thought she’d see again, the staff twirling and dipping as he spun around, robes flying in the unnatural wind that rose around him.

"What the hell…" she heard Jecht gasp as the sky darkened; the clouds roiled, pulled into a whirlwind that echoed Braska's movements. A distant roar sounded, and then the heavens lit with energy and color, spinning runes exploding overhead. _He_ burst through the clouds, a blur of black sinew and golden claws, massive wings outstretched.

Bahamut the Wise, Lord of Lords, ruler supreme of all summons appeared before them, fully vested with all of his terrible, awe-inspiring glory. The dragon swooped from the sky, landing with a crash and sending clods of earth flying. Slowly he straightened and crossed his arms, his glowing eyes peering down at the Summoner as if to judge him.

Braska was frozen, his staff still outstretched. His eyes were distant and unfocused; he’d fallen into a Summoner’s Rapture. It was a personal bond created between a Summoner and his aeon; a sharing of minds and senses that allowed Braska to control Bahamut’s actions with finesse, at the cost of the control over his own body. It was also the primary reason a Summoner required Guardians for protection. Rikku never thought she would see _that_ again in her lifetime, either.

"Where the hell did that thing come from?" Jecht asked, his eyes still fixed on the huge dragon. Rikku looked away long enough to see the his hands extended, fingers forming a small box through which he was studying the aeon. Then she choked and grabbed his wrists, slapping them out of the form.

"Are you _nuts_?" she hissed, though not quietly enough. Auron shot them both an annoyed glance and then blanched.

"What's the big deal? I just wanted to see what it was…" Jecht trailed off as the remnants of the Scan spell dissipated into the air.

"He cast at Lord Braska's aeon?" Auron ground out, turning to face the huge dragon and resting a hand on the hilt of his sword. To Rikku's dismay, Bahamut also noticed them, rumbling ominously.

"Jecht! If Bahamut doesn't kill us, I'm going to murder you!" Rikku squeaked, reaching for her own daggers. Quailing, she turned to Beatrix and tried to push her away. "Get Yunie out of here, now!" Not that it would help, she thought, considering the scope Bahamut’s Mega-Flare could encompass.

"No," Yuna said, twisting out of Beatrix's tight grasp and standing her ground. "I'm not scared. That's father’s dragon, he won't hurt us."

Bahamut lumbered towards them; the ground shuddered under his clawed feet, and everyone except Yuna stepped backward. He dropped to one knee before them and snorted, sending out blast of warm air that blew Yuna’s bangs away from her face.

Then, wide-eyed, Rikku watched as the little girl reached for Bahamut's snout. He bent lower and let her tiny hand scrabble over his muzzle, emitting a noise that sounded suspiciously like a purr. Yuna giggled and redoubled her efforts, unphased by the rows of razor-sharp teeth that were centimeters away from her fingers.

"He seems to like you, Yunie!" Rikku said, wondering why she was even surprised.

“This is why we visit the temples,” Auron told Jecht, recovering some of his composure. “A Summoner prays to the Fayth so he can call on their power in the form of an aeon."

"So… every Summoner can do this?" Jecht asked, still eyeing Bahamut's imposing figure with trepidation.

"The primary duty of a Summoner is to collect aeons during their Pilgrimage," Auron said, relaxing when the huge dragon stepped away from Yuna. "After Lord Braska has visited each temple, we will journey to Zanarkand for the Final Aeon and use it to defeat Sin."

"You mean they get even bigger?" Jecht gaped at Bahamut, who barely acknowledged their presence. "When I see that thing, I think you guys might actually have a chance." Then he grinned and cupped his hands over his mouth. "Glad you're on our side, buddy!" Bahamut tilted his head and didn't move. Jecht frowned and dropped his arms, looking annoyed. "Hey ugly, can you even hear me?"

Yuna giggled and Auron groaned. "A Summoner controls his aeon, Jecht. Bahamut will only respond if Lord Braska allows it."

"Let's hope he doesn't," Rikku piped in, nudging Jecht not-so-gently in the ribs. "I wouldn't go around calling things with that many sharp pointies on it ugly if I were you!"

"What, you scared?" Jecht laughed at her, and Rikku glowered.

"Yeah, right!" she shot back. Just to prove her point, she leaned forward, facing the dragon. "Maybe you look mean, but you don't scare me at all!" she shouted. "You're just a big soft mushball inside, aren't you?"

To everyone's surprise, Bahamut's head turned and his beady eyes glinted as they focused on Rikku.

"Oh, heh heh, I didn't mean it like that!" she laughed nervously. And then she fell quiet, meeting the aeon's piercing gaze. The sound and color of the surrounding world dulled and time slowed, though Bahamut remained as vivid and imposing as ever. This wasn't about her joke, she realized. "Why?" she asked. "Why did you bring me here?" she repeated, rancor giving her question strength.

Bahamut stared mutely; aeons couldn't speak, and the Fayth only appeared when they chose to. Even so, she could see the answer in his hard, unforgiving gaze. _This is what you wanted._ Rikku squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them again, the others were looking at her.

"You gonna have another one of them -" Jecht asked her, and Rikku jumped.

"No!" she yelled, angrier than she realized. Jecht jerked away from her in surprise. She took a deep breath and glared at Bahamut, suddenly infuriated by his presence. The dragon stood before them, impassive, but she knew better than to think he didn't notice her. No, he was purposefully ignoring her, and _that_ was completely different. "That thing doesn't scare me at all," she ground out, clenching her teeth. "He can stand there and look as mean as he wants for all I care. It's not like he has enough power to defeat Sin anyway!"

"Rikkma!" Auron said sharply, and Rikku spared Yuna a guilty glance.

The little girl stared back at her. "That's why my father needs the Final Aeon," Yuna pronounced, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. They turned their attention back to the aeon as he rumbled.

With a rush of wind Bahamut leapt away from them, scattering into a myriad of pyreflies that dissipated into the clouds.

Braska straightened, rubbing his forehead. “That… was interesting,” he said, looking surprised. Seeing the others around him, he refocused.

Yuna turned and smiled at her father, and Rikku dropped her head in shame. Everyone except Jecht knew what obtaining the Final Aeon _really_ meant, and still Yuna smiled. Then she drew her hands together and performed a perfect bow. "Thank you, father.”

Braska’s face contorted, but he smoothed his expression and returned Yuna’s bow just as deeply. "Auron, Jecht, Rikkma. Let us begin our journey."

And with that Braska was walking away, Jecht and Auron trailing after him towards the distant crystalline forest. Rikku hesitated before following after them, glancing back one last time at Yuna. She was cradled in the embrace of the older woman, but standing on her own, her unwavering eyes fixed onto her father's back. All traces of the little girl’s smile were gone. She looked older; Rikku clearly saw the Yuna she knew shining through the youthful chubbiness in her young face. It was in her eyes; they were changing with each step Braska took. Unable to watch the transformation complete itself, Rikku whirled around and sprinted after the others as her throat clenched shut.

**.x.x.x.**

The small crystals which jutted out of the sandy ground with increasing frequency looked beautiful, but made the path leading into the forest a treacherous one to navigate. Though the glittering formations were delicate, they were also pointed and razor-sharp. Rikku wondered how Jecht managed to do it with bare feet; playing all that Blitzball must have given him soles tougher than a behemoth's hide. Braska was picking his way between the delicate, jagged crystals, and Auron, true to his nature, simply crashed through them, crushing the ones that got in his way under the heavy heel of his boots.

Rikku followed in the wake of the messy path Auron cleared; she didn't bother to chide him for the destruction he was causing because she knew the forest would regenerate in a few days, more dense than ever before. It made her happy to know that the forest itself was growing - still fed and renewed by Shiva's dreams. While she didn't miss Sin's presence in Spira at all, some of the sacrifices they had made to destroy it still hurt, and the gradual disappearance of Macalania was one of them.

The glittering forest was indeed growing thicker as they travelled towards its center; the twisting, reflective tree trunks closed around them, surrounding them with a quiet, chilled beauty.

"I never saw a tree made outta crystal before," Jecht said, catching her attention. She looked up to see him rapping a knuckle against one of the trunks, filling the air with a melodious ring.

Rikku smiled and jogged over to him. "They're not really trees," she explained, flicking a fingernail against the hard trunk. "They just look like them."

"Don't get distracted," Auron called out over his shoulder. "The heart of the forest is infested with powerful fiends. We need to get through here as quickly as possible."

“I see no problem with a short break.” Braska stopped and made his way back towards Rikku and Jecht, prompting an exasperated sigh from Auron. Silently, Rikku cheered. His greetings were the first words he had spoken since he left Yuna's side; the depressing silence had been almost deafening. "Come now, Auron, it is not every day that we get to see a sight like this."

"You mean this ain't normal here either?" Jecht asked, clearing away a small patch of ground before seating himself against the tree.

"Travellers rarely journey through Macalania Forest," Braska told them, leaning on his staff. "A Summoner’s Pilgrimage is by nature a reflective journey; that is why we must travel the Pilgrimage Road by foot. Most long distance travel in Spira, however, is conducted by sea when possible. It is truly a rare privilege to be able to be here at all."

Auron, who had pulled up next to them, shrugged off his sword and leaned it against the tree, his disapproving scowl still obvious. "The reason no one travels through here are the fiends," he reminded them pointedly.

"Will ya just relax for once?" Jecht groaned. "We ain't seen a single fiend since we started anyway!"

"Yes," Braska said, staring off into the forest with a troubled look. "That _is_ odd."

"You mean lucky," Jecht insisted with a careless smile. Then he looked at Rikku. "Say, whadda ya mean this ain't a real forest?"

"Huh?" Rikku asked. She’d pulled herself up onto one of the larger trunks and was slouched on a high outcrop, swinging her feet as she enjoyed the sights. "Oh… well, see for yourself," she added, pointing at the trunk. "It's all just some kind of ice formation or something, you can almost see right through it! Of course it's not a plant."

Jecht poked at the trunk he was leaning against with surprise. "Ice? But it ain't even cold!"

"It's a summoned forest," Rikku said, leaning back against the trunk and crossing her hands behind her head. "The Fayth in Macalania Temple made it. I guess when Shiva isn't kicking butt as an aeon, she spends her time gardening." She turned her head when she heard no response, and saw all three men staring and nearly slipped off of the trunk in surprise. "What?"

"Shiva?" Jecht asked.

"The Fayth which resides in Macalania Temple," Braska answered absently. "Rikkma, that is an interesting theory you have, but no one really knows how or why Macalania Forest was created. How did you come up with that idea?"

Rikku scrunched up her nose. "It's not a theory. The locals told me!"

"People live here?" Jecht repeated, looking even more surprised. "I thought there were fiends."

"There _are_ fiends. That's why no one lives here," Auron agreed, suspicious.

Rikku sat up, filled with indignation. She might have learned the truth of the forest well after Sin was gone and the demi-humans were forced to flee from their crumbling homeland, but that didn't change the fact that _they_ had always lived in Macalania Forest. Everyone knew that. No, the problem was that most other races didn't think of the demi-humans as people; that was why they didn't count in Auron's assessment of the forest's population.

"You know, if you Yevonites would actually listen to your musicians instead of just telling them to shut up and play, maybe you'd figure out this stuff too," she huffed. "They're the ones who told me, for your information. They know this forest better than anyone else!" She noted with satisfaction that Auron fell silent after her sharp rebuttal, looking surprised.

Braska, too, had gone quiet. "I had always suspected there was more to those creatures than they led us to believe," he mused. "Strange, though, that they would share this knowledge with a human like yourself. They seem to prefer to keep to themselves."

"Yeah, well…" Rikku trailed off; the truth of the matter was the demi-humans probably wouldn't have given her the time of day if not for their disappearing forest and Tobli's constant meddling. "I'm well-travelled!" she explained. "And who can resist this face?" she added with a cute pout.

"Would you like a list?" Auron replied. Ignoring the face she made, he addressed Braska once more. "We should move on, my lord. This lack of fiends is… worrisome," he said uneasily.

Braska nodded once, leaning over and helping Jecht to his feet. "Yes. We can discuss our theories about the forest when we are closer to the safety of the temple," he agreed.

Rikku shimmied down the trunk. When she hit the ground, it trembled and shook underneath her, and she flung her arms out in surprise before tumbling.

"Whoa!" Jecht yelled, also trying to catch his balance. "How much do you weigh anyhow?"

"It's not me!" Rikku leapt to her feet and pulled out her daggers.

"Something's coming," Auron said tersely, and that was the only warning they had before the crystalline trees splintered and flew apart. Rikku covered her head and winced; the atmosphere felt heavy and deadened. Most unnervingly of all, everything was quiet except for the crash of the splintering trees. Then she heard it: a low hiss, the sound of something slicing through the air.

 _I know this music,_ Rikku thought. She lowered her arms and squinted through the rain of splinters that were falling around her. Jecht had thrown Braska to the ground for protection, and Auron stood over them, his sword a blur as he hacked apart the larger chunks of crystal that flew in their direction. Beyond him, behind her, all around them, she saw what caused the explosion, and her stomach churned.

"We're bein' attacked by fiends?" Jecht asked, fumbling for the handle of his sword.

"No," Rikku moaned, springing to her feet and spinning her daggers. She rushed at the nearest pod, striking it before it could burst open and send its creation tumbling out. "This is Sinspawn!"

The deadly shower thinned out, but as the dust settled the cause of the explosion became visible; a greater Sinspawn, ugly and black, pulsed in a clearing only a few steps away. It spewed pods into the their surroundings over its waving tentacles. While huge, it was thankfully alone; there was no sign of Sin itself in the area. Not that this was very reassuring; the spawn alone was already the size of Bahamut, and it was still belching eggs in every direction.

"We must destroy it!" Braska twirled his staff around in the summoning dance. It was a harsh first test to flex his fledgling Summoner's muscles on.

Rikku didn't bother to reply, rushing another pod and trying to burst it before it could hatch and release the insect-like spawn hibernating inside. She only managed to hack through the hard shell halfway before it burst open on its own, nearly severing her arm in the process. The lesser spawn inside spilled out and snapped at her viciously. She buried her dagger between its shining eyes up to the hilt, and the thing twitched spasmodically before dissolving into pyreflies. To her dismay, she saw the other pods bursting open, releasing dozens more into the forest.

"You've got to be shittin' me," Jecht groaned, rushing at one of the creatures with his sword and cleaving it in two.

"This is no joke!" Auron hacked through the hissing creatures; a trail of pyreflies followed his motions, and Rikku realized he was driving towards the larger Sinspawn. "Clear a path to the mother!" he yelled at Jecht, carving his way through several more of the insects.

Rikku positioned herself at Braska's side, narrowly managing to kick away one of the creatures as he completed his dance. She heard Bahamut's roar echo, then winced as a burst of light cut through the forest, destroying both the remaining trees and several of the spawn in its path. The dragon landed in the smoking clearing and grappled with the huge Sinspawn, roaring in fury. Rikku half-turned and saw Braska holding his staff out, his expression distant.

"Oh no," she moaned, skirting around him and flicking her daggers about, trying to keep the smaller creatures away from him. "Auron! Jecht! We're in deep pickles over here!" She batted away another spawn and then sending a Fire spell hurtling behind her with a quick mumble.

Rikku knew she was fast, but she wasn't _that_ fast, and there were just too many to take on alone. " _Auron!_ " she yelled again, flying towards another fiend and slashing at it. It was no good; her light hits weren't killing any of them, simply enraging the insects and making them swarm even more densely than before. "Braska's in Rapture! He can't move!"

 _What's keeping them?_ Rikku thought, panicking as the spawn encroached on the small haven she maintained around Braska. She grimaced and took a deep breath; casting high-level magic beyond her natural means from the grid always felt uncomfortable, but it couldn't be helped. She had to cut down their enemies before they were overwhelmed.

Fixing one hand on her grid, she spread her palm out towards the thickest concentration of fiends and closed her eyes. The sibilant words tumbled out of her mouth, spoken in a language she didn't know, with a finesse that she didn't possess. Power flowed through them, forming into a pinpoint in the palm of her hand; she gathered it, feeling the rush of an unnatural breeze as the casting glow surrounded her, then let the magic fly.

It wasn't the most powerful of spells; while Rikku could have cast a stronger elemental attack, completely obliterating only one of the insects wouldn't have helped very much. Instead she cast _gravity_ magic, letting the crackle of dark energy descend over the entire writhing mass surrounding them. The Demi spell drained the creatures and sent more than a few of them skittering backwards. There were even a few injured ones which collapsed on themselves, pyreflies leaking out of the wounds her daggers had already inflicted. Rikku smiled grimly; not the best solution, but it had bought them a little time.

"Will you guys get over here!" She turned to search for the familiar red flash of Auron's coat. Then she froze, her words caught in her lungs. He was there, a few feet before her, fighting desperately. His sword was nothing more than a flash of dark metal surrounded by swirling pyreflies as he eliminated the fiends surrounding him. But he wasn't moving towards her or Braska; he was trapped. Trapped into defending, not attacking - and _what_ he was defending was the motionless lump on the ground.

"Jecht!" The large man was unconscious, a small trickle of blood leaking from his mouth and a gaping wound oozing from his abdomen. Despite Auron's lessons, he really _didn't_ know how to handle his sword yet. Auron was doing a magnificent job of defending his fallen comrade, but he couldn't stop the steady flow of blood that was leaking from Jecht into the crystalline ground and keep the insects at bay at the same time.

Rikku reached for her pouch and cursed when she found nothing; _I_ **_knew_ ** _we needed supplies!_ There was no time to think; she rushed the nearest fiend and gritted her teeth, then drove her hand _through_ it. It shuddered and gave way beneath her probing fingers; she reached in and searched, pulling through its body for anything that might help.

Despite being a first-rate thief, Rikku hated stealing from fiends. She hated it more than she hated lightning. The principal was fairly sound; fiends were formed from the malcontent of the dead, and occasionally the dead were kind enough to bundle their hatred into a form solid enough to pull from their bodies. Usually it was a remnant of their former life, a wish, hope or dream they once had while still human. It didn't change the fact that doing it felt disgusting to her. It took a special state of mind to steal from a fiend: telling yourself over and over again that it wasn't real, that it wasn't leather and bone and cartilage you were shoving your fingers through, but _pyreflies-pyreflies-pyreflies_. Sometimes it didn't work, and the unlucky thief ended up smashing his fingers against the very solid skin, fur or scale of the disgruntled and unforgiving fiend; the lucky ones came away from those failed attempts with all of their limbs intact.

Sinspawn was worse; though still pyreflies, there was nothing human at all left in them, unlike the fiends. When she attempted to steal from spawn, more often than not she came away with the oddest things; rusty blades, a razor-toothed comb or odd, unidentifiable gem that flickered in the light. This time was no different; when she sprang back, the object in her hand was a twisted rosette of metal; she had no idea what it was, or what it would do if she attempted to use it.

 _Not good!_ she thought, panicking as she chopped at another one of the insects that circled Braska. A loud roar made her glance up; Bahamut seemed to be winning against the largest creature, which meant that Braska might be able to come out of his Rapture soon. It was a gamble with Jecht's life, however, and a risky one at that. There was only one way to be certain. It was something she had been hoping to put off until much later, like _never,_ but desperate times called for desperate measures. Rikku only hoped none of her companions were voyeurs. Then she corrected that train of thought and gave a silent whisper of thanks that Jecht was passed out.

The fiends backed away from her when she began to glow. Even Auron faltered and turned to look, his eyes widening in shock. And then the sphere took over; it wasn't just a change of outfits, but a change of personality, as Paine had once described it. She was still herself, of course, they all were, but there was something extra that was added: a phrase or two, an attitude, an unconscious gesture of the hand. The personalities recorded in the spheres never completely disappeared, no matter who used them. And while Rikku had created the Alchemist dressphere herself, it was still like adding oil to a lit fire. Pride, self-confidence, and an unbelievable amount of fury filled her as she raised her hands and let the gun form in her arms.

_Useless? An embarrassment to all of Spira? How dare they treat us like this!_

Rikku's lips curled back into an ugly snarl and she unleashed her anger onto the surrounding fiends, spraying them with a smattering of bullets from her machine gun. "No more Mr. Nice Guy!" she yelled, shoving her way through the insects and blasting those that were too foolish not to move point-blank with her gun. A few of them managed to score her armor, but thankfully her outfit came with much more protective padding than Braska's loaned gift of travel clothes had. Ignoring the small scratches she earned, she reached into her now-bulging pocket and pulled out the potion that conjured itself into her possession. It wasn't enough to save Jecht, but if she gambled right… "Not knowing is the fun part!" she smirked, dumping the potion over the small lump of metal in her hand before lobbing it at Jecht.

"… Rikku!" she heard Auron yell in confusion, and then the rosette hit Jecht's chest and exploded into a corona of light.

It was better than she could have hoped for. Jecht’s wounds curled in on themselves and knit together with unnatural speed. His eyes flew open, full of surprise as the rosette continued to flare and disintegrate. Rapidly whirling discs of color surrounded him and burst outwards; they encompassed Auron, Braska and even herself. She noted with satisfaction that the wounds on her own body were healing at the same time the artificial speed kicked in.

"Woo-HOO!" she screamed, levelling her gun at a few more fiends and blasting them away. "I'm gonna show you guys how to party like only we can do it!" She charged recklessly into the enemy swarm, firing several bursts from her machine gun.

Auron and Jecht doing much the same with their respective weapons; the explosive protective and regenerative properties that her unknown mix granted them swayed the tide of the battle in their favor. Bahamut landed the finishing blow on the source of their troubles, and it wasn't long before they managed to do the same to the few remaining sinscales scattered through the rubble. When it was over, the four of them stood panting amidst a circle of pyreflies and the ruins of smashed trees.

"Holy shit," Jecht managed to say, propping himself up on his sword. "I thought I was a goner!"

"Braska?" Auron asked, helping the Summoner as he sunk to the ground.

"… quite an experience," Braska said, pulling off his helmet. His hair was damp and matted underneath it and his skin was still a few shades paler than normal, even for him. "I'm fine, Auron." He waved the other man off and looked at Rikku. "But what happened to you?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and leaned on one hip, hefting her gun onto her shoulder. A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered that she should probably disengage her garment grid and return to her normal attire, but the rest of her told that voice to shut up and stick it. Instead she opted to stare back at the other men in defiance.

"I made myself comfortable," she answered, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Why, you Yevonites got a problem with that?" She stared Auron down as she spoke, daring him to make a comment.

Auron frowned in return, his eyes travelling to her belt, where the garment grid was still shining with energy. The sphere and the path she had manipulated to activate it glowed against the stone plate, and his brows drew together. "That is more than just a belt buckle," he observed.

"You catch on pretty quick for a fool," Rikku responded acerbically, and the three men stared at her in shock. "What? I just call 'em like I see 'em," she added, letting her eyes drop onto Braska. "This whole Pilgrimage is a sham, and people who believe all that junk that Yevon spews really _are_ the fools." She did drop her head as she spoke, guilt niggling at her conscience. "Sorry, Braska," she muttered almost unwillingly. "But it's the truth!"

"The truth?" Auron said, his face tight with anger. "You lied to us about who you are and what you can do." His grip on his sword shifted, and he glared at her. "You've changed, and I don't think I like it."

Rikku made a rude gesture in Auron's direction and shrugged. "Who cares what you think?" she fired back. "You're just another brainless follower of Yevon, as blind and stupid as the rest. I don't need you or your church's blessings!" She crossed her arms and turned up her nose. "Boy, you jerks sure have a crappy way of thanking me for saving your butts, by the way."

"Hey, slow down there, Blondie!" Jecht said, towering over Rikku. "Auron ain't my favourite person in the world either. But he's right, and I’m gonna make ya pay for forcin’ me to say that. What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked.

" _Ooh!_ Not you too!" Rikku fumed, clenching her fist and stalking away from him. She paced back and forth before them, angry and restless at everything she had been robbed of. Her life, her Home, her respect… everything was gone in the blink of an eye, crushed under Yevon's iron-fisted rule, and she couldn't do anything about it. It made her want to just _blow stuff up_.

Rikku's pacing came to an abrupt halt as an obstacle presented itself in her way; with a start she realized she was face-to-face with two clear blue eyes, both of which had her trapped under their steady gaze. Braska's hands were on her shoulders; _when did they get there?_ Her uncle, the only Summoner that had ever been truly worth saving, with the exception of Yuna, and in the end the only one they couldn't save. He was practically one of them, she thought with a guilty conscience; he was _family._

"Rikkma," he said. "This isn't you."

"But it _is_ me!" she protested. "It's in my eyes and my hair and my beliefs and my blood! This is who I really am!" She made a half-hearted attempt to shrug herself out of his grip.

Braska shook his head, refusing to release her. "Let it go, Rikkma."

Rikku blinked away the unexpected tears that rose in her eyes. "But I'm Al Bhed," she repeated stubbornly.

"No," Braska corrected her. "You are _more_."

Rikku reached for her garment grid with shaking fingers and deactivated it, and when the flaring light faded, the vicious, bubbling fury disappeared with it. The bitter pride and the sadness that had brought it about didn't, though, and she let herself crumple against him in exhaustion, sobbing out her loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 7/16: fixed a major plot inconsistency concerning Summoner's Rapture. Aged Yuna's dialogue. Usual adverb removal / unBriticizing stuff. Fixed the name of Braska's maid (again).
> 
> Battle abilities used or mentioned:  
> Mega Flare is Bahamut’s special attack.  
> Conflagration Grid [Rikku]: Demi  
> Alchemist Dressphere [Mix]: Super Mighty G - Shell, Protect, Haste, Regen on all allies


	12. An Impossible Dream

The light of the fire flickered brightly in the center of their makeshift camp. Though it was warm and cheerful, it couldn't completely banish the ponderous silence of the surrounding forest creeping in at the edges of the light.

Rikku chose to sit further away from the crackling blaze than the others; the cool night air didn't bother her, and she wanted to enjoy the silent forest for just a little longer. The real beauty of Macalania only came out in the deepest of night, under the light of the cold moon and the pyreflies which drifted aimlessly through the trees. The forest glittered, its crystal and water turned into precious metals by the evening’s darkness, and its pyreflies fallen stars from the heavens.

One drifted very close to Rikku's face, and she reached out and wrapped her hand around it. A moment later it passed through her palm and continued floating away into the night. It was hard to believe that the beautiful, tiny point of light was the cause of so much danger in the otherwise peaceful forest.

"So tell me about the spheres," Jecht said, and she turned to face him.

He had followed her out to the low trunk she was leaning against after they made camp; he wanted to thank her for saving his life, but she knew it was also in part because of Auron's behavior. The other man was still furious and hadn't so much as glanced in her direction, much less spoken a word since they'd decided to retire for the evening. She was grateful for Jecht's attempt to smooth things over, but not in the mood for his usual jokes. Thankfully, he seemed to understand that.

"What do you want to know about them?" she asked, taking a blank recording sphere out of her pouch and throwing it at Jecht. He caught it and turned it around in his hands, inspecting the glowing liquid trapped in its interior.

"Braska says they're made here," he said, holding it to his ear and shaking it. "So it's filled with water or somethin'?"

"It's not really water-water," Rikku noted. She pointed at a tiny stream trickling by their feet; one of many winding their way towards the lakes that pooled in the deep forest. "Memories can be trapped here, captured and reflected by the crystal water. That's why people sometimes go into the woods to harvest it and make spheres."

Jecht was now squatting by the stream and dipping his fingers into it. He sniffed them and turned back to Rikku. "Don't smell different from normal water," he noted. He licked his fingers and then shrugged. "Don't taste different either."

"It's purer than normal water," Rikku corrected him. "Otherwise I'd be really grossed out that you just licked the ground like that. Honestly, I bet your fingers are grubbier than anything in that stream though." She smirked and Jecht made a half-hearted rude gesture at her.

"Everyone's a comedian," Jecht grumbled. Then he scratched his head. "So… why ain't there more people here if this water is so damn special? Those spheres we bought in Bevelle cost an arm and a leg! In Zanarkand people would be all over this stuff if we could sell it for that much."

"Well, besides the fiends, there's another problem," Rikku explained. "It's a risky job. I'd rather go diving for machina than collect sphere water."

Jecht stood up and flicked a few droplets of water at her. "What other problem? I don't see why we can't just bottle this stuff up while we're here and sell it at the next town. We'd be rich!"

Rikku shook her head. "That isn't the purest water, the one you can make spheres out of. You have to go diving in one of the lakes to get the really good stuff."

Jecht thumped his chest. "Divin'? You forget I'm a Blitzball pro already? That's kid stuff!"

"It's not the diving that's the problem," Rikku answered, rolling her eyes. "The deeper you go, the purer it gets. Really pure water can conduct memories the best. That's why no one ever wants to work as a harvester. You have to face your own memories."

"What's so bad about that?" Jecht asked, shrugging his shoulders.

Rikku nibbled on her lip. "You'd probably see things. Things that are - important - to you down there. You can't work as a harvester if you have too many regrets. You might drown." She didn't elaborate on the why; Jecht didn't need to know that most water harvesters didn't drown by accident. He also didn't need to know that no one in Spira lived without regret. Sin touched everyone's lives, whether directly or indirectly. Only people who were strong enough to resist the temptation of their own memories and desires could collect water. The job became addicting all too quickly, and a high mortality rate accompanied it. In Macalania Forest, regrets could kill almost as effectively as Sin did.

"It's just a bad idea, alright?" she finished. "Promise me you won't try it."

"Fine," Jecht muttered. "I still say we're passin' up a golden opportunity here."

"There'll be others." Rikku curled her legs under herself and rested her chin on her knees. She noticed Jecht's quick glance back towards the campfire and gave him a reassuring smile. "Go on," she told him. "I'll be fine out here."

"You sure?" Jecht asked. " 'Cause I can knock some sense into his head if ya want."

Rikku shook her head. "I'll take a rain check on that," she told him with a devilish grin. "But it's okay for now. Get back there and have your dinner or something."

"Okay. But if you don't come back soon, I ain't savin' you any," he added.

Rikku stuck her tongue out at his retreating back, then returned her gaze to the trees. She wasn't hungry anyway; her stomach was still twisted into tense knots. "I'm so out of place here." Relaxing, she rested her head against her arms. She mused over what she had told Jecht, her eyes drifting towards the little stream that ran by her feet. It was a sliver of platinum against the dark ground, radiant and beautiful.

Most Al Bhed wouldn't even enter Macalania Forest; it was reviled almost as much as the Farplane. The memory-water was the reason; it was as cruel as the pyreflies in flaying open a person's innermost heart. The strange liquid was achingly pure, free of any sediment to cloud its revelations. Everything in the forest was like that: clean, smooth and polished, even the fiends. It was the opposite of what made the Al Bhed who they were. Her people were gritty, sandy and rough, only comfortable in muddy waters that was as dirty as they were. The water in Macalania was too perfect, just a little too sweet and cold. This was Braska's kind of water, not hers.

With a sigh, Rikku pushed off from the trunk and made her way back towards the camp. Hungry or not, free food was never something to be turned down. Auron didn't acknowledge her return, though Braska gave her a quick nod and Jecht threw a spit of something roasted at her. She sat down and nibbled at the food, trying to catch up on the conversation Jecht and Braska were having.

"So those were just pieces of it?" Jecht asked.

Braska nodded. "Yes. Sin always returns for its children. That is why it is our duty to remove them as quickly as possible." He laughed and shook his head. "Though this was not quite how I imagined my first battle with an aeon would occur…"

"Sin can strike anywhere, at any time," Auron interrupted tersely. "The question is what it was doing in Macalania Forest in the first place. It doesn't seem to be travelling towards Bevelle. It might have been heading for the Thunder Plains or the Calm Lands, but there aren't any large settlements to destroy in either area." His voice was low and smooth, but Rikku could hear the tension underneath his words; he was still angry.

Rikku set aside her half-eaten stick of roast, passing it onto Jecht when he gestured. Auron was still miraculously ignoring her despite the fact that she was sitting across from him. He hadn't bothered to look at her since she transformed, and Rikku couldn't really say that she blamed him. She studied him over the firelight, knowing that his stubbornness would prevent her from being caught staring.

 _I was ready to shoot him earlier because of that stupid dressphere,_ she thought with a pang of guilt. She knew Auron hated being lied to, and being caught in such a huge, noticeable lie made her feel awkward and deeply embarrassed. It was as though she let him down somehow - which was stupid, really, because he was the one who had done all the lying when they first met, with that whole thing about being dead.

She scowled at him in annoyance. So maybe he hadn't been _lying_ ; they'd never bothered to ask him to clarify that crack Seymour took about his _dead-guy_ smell. And it was no wonder he wanted to keep it a secret - the Unsent were universally despised in Spira as harbingers of discord and destruction, usually for good reason. But a lie by omission was still a lie in Rikku's book, so in her opinion he was just as bad as she was. Auron probably wouldn't have agreed with her logic if he could hear the argument she was having in her head. He wasn’t paying her enough attention to talk at all, though.

"Sin must have passed here not long ago." Braska was speaking now. Rikku turned her attention onto the Summoner; freed of his heavier outer robe and helmet, he looked younger and frailer than normal. Creases of weariness wrinkled the corners of his eyes, but despite that he appeared to be calm and peaceful. It was as if seeing one of his Guardians pull out a secret Al Bhed weapon and then subsequently being insulted by said Guardian was an ordinary, everyday occurrence. She didn't understand why Braska didn't seem to be as upset with her as Auron was. She had, after all, called him a Yevonite too. And he was, sort of, despite being an outcast from the official church. But Braska was still a Summoner, and in Rikku's mind that was even more clergic than being a Warrior Monk. _Wait, is clergic even a real word?_ she wondered. Well, it was now.

"… Guadosalam." Braska was still speaking with the others; they were trying to determine Sin's destination.

"What?" she said in shock, snapping out of her brooding silence. "But it can't! The Farplane is there!" A flutter of panic caused her heart to hammer against her ribcage. She had never heard of Sin attacking the Farplane before, but that was no guarantee that it wasn't possible. The Farplane would always exist in Spira, no matter what havoc Sin might wreck. But that didn't mean that the city built around it couldn't be razed. And if the city was destroyed, her chance to visit the Farplane would be destroyed along with it. "It just can't!" she blurted out.

Jecht scratched his head and picked at his teeth with the crystalline spit. Smacking his gums together, he raised an eyebrow. "What's a Farplane?"

"Something the Al Bhed have no respect for or belief in," Auron answered him, still ignoring Rikku.

Rikku winced. "The Farplane is where the souls of the dead go to find peace, if they don't become fiends. It's one of the most important places in the entire world, everybody knows that." She glared at Auron. "Even the Al Bhed!"

"Hmph," Auron replied.

Jecht grimaced and ducked his head as both ends of the clipped argument were fired in his direction. "Keep me outta this," he said, raising his hands in self-defense. "If you two are gonna argue, do it with each other. I ain't your personal blitzball."

Rikku rolled her eyes and focused her attention on Braska instead. Some things were more important than fighting with Auron, and getting back home was one of them. "We have to go there! We have to see if they're okay!" Before Braska could reply, Auron interrupted her. Though he felt fit to give her the cold shoulder, he wasn't so receptive to being ignored either.

"Absolutely not! We're here on Pilgrimage, not to sightsee!" he snarled.

Braska sighed and shook his head. "Auron, calm down. I hardly think stopping by a city recently ravaged by Sin could be considered vacationing. It is also a Summoner's duty to perform the Sending when required."

Rikku smirked and stuck her tongue out at Auron, who only glowered at the fire.

"… but Auron is right," Braska continued, and Rikku's grin faded. "Rikkma, Guadosalam is too far out of the path of our Pilgrimage.” He sighed and rubbed a palm over his face. “Even if the city has been attacked, they would only accept our help grudgingly. Yevon’s influence is still weak among the Guado. We can serve them best by continuing forward and defeating what Sinspawn we find left in forest."

"But - but -" Rikku stuttered, and this time it was Auron's turn to smirk. She ground her teeth and stared into the bright fire; it looked like an expeditious return to her own time wasn’t going to be happening. "It's just wrong!" she grumbled.

"The Summoner has made his decision. Accept it or withdraw from this Pilgrimage." Auron's voice was cutting. Leave it to him to kick her while she was down.

Rikku blinked and looked up from the fire to meet his eyes, her own hurt and anger mixing with the guilt. Seething, she opened her mouth to try and deliver a blow that would humiliate him as much as he had made her hurt, and the best she could come up with was - "Maybe I will!"

The group fell quiet as Rikku and Auron entered yet another staring contest - _we seem to do that more than we converse with each other_ \- and then the tension broke as Braska shot to his feet.

"Stop it, both of you." Braska didn't sound upset, but the usual levity in his tone was absent, and his command fell on them like an executioner's axe. They were both guilty and sentenced, with five simple words.

Rikku broke away, flushing; she didn't dare chance a peek at Auron to see what his reaction was, but from his uncomfortable shuffling it seemed he was similarly cowed by Braska's disapproval. Instead, she snuck a glance at Braska. To her surprise, he looked troubled, rather than angered, and his attention was focused on her.

"Rikkma, I want you to walk with me," he said.

"My lord, the Sinspawn -" Auron protested, reaching for his sword and springing to his feet.

Braska moved to Rikku's side and grasped her arm, helping her stand. "I will be fine, Auron," he replied, his voice brokering no argument. "Stay with Jecht." He pulled her away from the warm ring of firelight and deeper into the forest, and the last Rikku saw of the camp was Auron’s jaw twitching as he slammed his sword back into the ground.

She turned to look at Braska, who hadn't released her arm as he picked his way through the crystalline forest. His silence was unnerving, and Rikku licked her lips and tried to come up with a comfortable way to start the conversation. "So…" she began, hoping he would fill the pregnant pause.

Braska said nothing and led her deeper into the forest. It was only when he was satisfied that they were far away enough from their camp that he released her arm. The small clearing they had entered was surrounded by a dense crystalline thicket on all sides and housed a wide, shallow lake. Pyreflies drifted over the surface of the water and mingled with the reflection of the stars overhead. Rikku thought it was almost beautiful enough to forget that her Summoner had dragged her out there for the purpose of chastising her.

"Sit," Braska told her, and though it was a command, he didn't say it unkindly. When she was settled comfortably at the water's edge, he joined her and fell into another brooding silence.

Rikku held her breath and didn't even dare fidget; the last thing she wanted to do was upset Braska any more than she already had. The guilt at having thrown a horrible insult his way while under the influence of her dressphere was eating at her, and she was almost looking forward to his punishment as much as she dreaded it. Finally, atmosphere grew so heavy that Rikku cursed to herself and broke the quiet.

"I'm sorry!" she blurted out. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to call you that, to compare you to one of them -"

Braska looked up at her, faint surprise etched on his face, which then melted into a wry half-smile. "Auron is the one you should say that to," he told her. "Though both of your behaviors leave much to be desired, Auron is hard, proud man. He would never apologize to you first. Though in this case, he does not need to," he added sternly. "It is you who initially wronged him, and therefore you who must take action to repair the damage."

Rikku dropped her head in shame; this was ten times worse than being yelled at by Cid when she was caught doing something wrong. Sure, the throbbing vein in her father’s forehead and his red-flushed face was enough to inspire terror in almost anyone when he was angry. Somehow Braska's quiet reprimand felt more painful than any tongue-lashing Cid had ever dished out, though. "Yes, sir," she whispered, feeling lower than the non-existent dirt on the forest floor.

Braska fell back into his silence. Rikku kept her head ducked low and stared into the water. Catching a reflection of herself against the smooth surface of a rock formation jutting outwards, she shifted her gaze to discreetly to study Braska. He hadn’t noticed she was also watching him, but she wasn’t about to tell. It was a lot easier to be on the receiving end of Braska's scrutiny when he didn't realize she was looking back. She saw rather than heard him sigh, and then braced herself as he opened his mouth once more.

"I gather that it was quite an interesting transformation you performed back there," he said, attempting a casual tone. "I wish I could have witnessed it for myself."

Rikku canted her head in confusion. It didn't sound like he was trying to punish her for insulting Auron. In fact, it sounded like he was trying to lighten the mood. Too bad she was still feeling heavier than Wakka during the second half of a Blitzball game. Which brought back memories of Wakka and Lulu and _oh machina she was never going get to see Vidina grow up_ \- Rikku took a deep, shaky breath and forced herself to calm down. "You were a little busy."

"Yes… I am very grateful that you managed to save Jecht's life with that tool of yours. We all are." Rikku kept her head lowered, and Braska's encouraging smile faltered. Then it returned, wider and even more determined than before. "Is it the latest Al Bhed invention?" he prodded. Rikku gave a half-hearted nod, and Braska continued doggedly. "Did you create it yourself?"

Watching his reflection waiting for her response, patient and hopeful, Rikku had to give him credit. Braska was tenacious, and he seemed determined to pull her out of her depressive funk. Resisting his attempts to draw her into more pleasant conversation was causing her almost as much guilt as starting the argument with Auron, and so she gave up without much struggle.

"Uh-uh," Rikku said, looking up and meeting his eyes. "Actually, I don't even know how it really works," she admitted. "I got it as a gift from a friend of mine, he's the real genius. I just use it!"

Braska laughed, a surprisingly pleasant sound which echoed into the tinkling crystal forest. "Forgive me," he said, still smiling at her. "But I happen to know that this is how most Al Bhed inventions function. It often seems to me that the discoveries made by your people are more a matter of luck than knowledge."

"Hey! Our machina is perfectly safe! Most of the time," she mumbled with a pout, which only caused Braska to laugh even louder.

"You must excuse me once more," he managed to say, "I mean no offense… by all means, please continue with your machina experiments. I would advise you not to reveal your scientific method, however - you’ll whittle away at what little Jecht has left of Auron’s composure.” His good humor was infectious, and Rikku felt her dark mood being chased away as she giggled in agreement.

After a moment their laughter died out, and Braska eyed her belt with curiosity. "Tell me, though. Are you quite sure that it is not dangerous?"

"Not really," Rikku said. "You know what they say. _Risk big win big!_ " Braska didn't look very happy at her declaration, so she grinned and winked at him. “Relax! I’ve been using it for over three years now and nothing bad's ever happened before. I'm pretty sure it's safe." Noticing Braska's curious glance, she decided on a whim to unhook her belt and slid it off of her waist, offering it to him. "It's okay, you can touch it. It's called a garment grid, and it works by sticking spheres into the holes." She pointed as she spoke, displaying the paths and the nodes on the grid. "The grid itself has a little magic in it, but what it can do really depends on the spheres you load into it."

"Just ordinary recording spheres?" Braska asked, studying the grid.

"Yeah," Rikku said. "It summons the memories of the things recorded in the spheres and transforms you into a different person. Sort of. It's kinda hard to explain," she said. "You're still _you_ , you're just… different."

"I see," Braska said slowly. "Amazing. So who did it transform you into?"

Rikku blushed and bit her lip. "Well, that's the thing. I call that one the Alchemist and I, uh, well, I sorta made that sphere myself.” She winced at Braska's open look of surprise.

"Then why in Spira did it change your personality so?" he asked, bemused.

Rikku sighed and fidgeted nervously. "Well, I filled that sphere with memories of Home. I don't know, I guess it sort of overwhelmed me." She gave Braska a weak smile. "I miss being surrounded by people who understand and accept me. I miss my friends and my family. I miss not being able to go back," she told him. Just another little white lie, cloaked in generous wrapping of truth.

"I think I understand," Braska replied. Then, fingering the sphere she had touched, he gave her a cautious smile. "Would you mind if I viewed…"

Rikku paled immediately and shook her head. " ** _No!_ ** " she shouted at him. Then, embarrassed, she tried to salvage something from her outburst. "It's, uh, personal. I like to keep those memories to myself," she explained. _Yeah… and you'd totally freak if you saw me working with Father too,_ she thought.

Braska looked mortified - he’d assumed he’d crossed some sort of personal boundary that just didn’t exist, Rikku realized. She instantly felt horrible. He was only trying to help cheer her up; her yell had given him the appearance of a kicked puppy.

"Ah, well then…" he said, holding the belt out towards her, his tone apologetic.

Rikku stared at it, and then snapped her fingers. "I know!" she said. "You can do something better than watching the sphere. Why don't you test it out yourself?"

Braska froze and stared at her as if she had gone mad. "What?"

Rikku gave him a reassuring smile and pushed the belt back towards him. "Seriously! Try it on! I already told you, it's perfectly safe. It's only fair, since you missed out on watching me use it." Despite her reassurances, Braska still looked uncertain, so Rikku stuck out her lower lip and sulked. "Aww, come on, don't you trust me?"

And that was the question. Silence fell as Braska continued to stare at the belt, and Rikku struggled to hold her hand steady. It wasn't so much that the belt was heavy; more that the weight of the challenge she had thrown out to Braska both surprised and scared her. She hadn't been planning on testing him when she made her offer, it just sort of tumbled out as she realized the import of her question too late. She held her breath and prayed; _not you too, Braska. It's bad enough with Auron already._

To her great relief, Braska smiled at her, trusting and open as he lifted the belt out of her grasp. Rikku nearly cried with relief when she saw that smile; Yuna's little smile that could convince her to do anything, even become a Guardian. It was just as potent coming from the original source. After removing his own thickly embroidered belt, Braska sucked in his breath and clasped her garment grid closed over his robes. He chuckled after ensuring it was secure; Rikku could barely contain her own grin.

"Auron will never forgive either of us if he finds out," Braska said to her mischievously.

"Then we just won't tell him!" Rikku laughed, feeling the tension ease out of her muscles. She took another long look at Braska. "Wow! You actually fit into my belt," she snickered. "You look so pudgy underneath all those robes, it's kind of hard to believe you're as skinny as me!"

"That's because I'm not," Braska admitted with a slight wheeze. "I think I'll be able to manage without passing out, though," he added, settling the belt as best he could around his waist.

Rikku helped Braska to his feet with a sullen pout. "Yeah, well it isn't fair. I see how much you eat, and you're still as skinny as a twig! Do you know how many girls would kill to have a body like yours?"

"Not quite as many who would come after you, I imagine," Braska replied smoothly, and Rikku flushed and realized he was still holding on to her hand. Extracting her palm from his grip, she cleared her throat. "Well, let me explain a few things first," she said. "Did you feel that little tickle when you put it on?"

Braska nodded, looking down at the belt. "Yes. Strange, it almost felt like… being hit by a mild thunder spell," he mused. "I can feel it still, inside of me, as though it's waiting to be released."

"That's the grid supplying you with black magic," Rikku explained, grinning at Braska's look of surprise. "I can't actually cast much more than the basic elemental spells," she admitted with a bit of shame.

"But I thought you told Auron that you had high-level abilities. And I could have sworn I saw the remnants of a gravity spell…" Braska prodded.

"I know what I told Auron," Rikku said, cringing under the open admission of another lie. "But that's where the grid comes in! I can cast almost anything when I'm wearing it. It's just not _me_ doing the casting, see?"

"No, not really," Braska admitted.

"Oh… here, it's just easier to show you," Rikku said in exasperation. She spun around the clearing, finally selecting a large tree trunk near the pond and pointing at it. "Just cast a Fire spell at that," she said.

Braska shook his head. "I'm a healer, Rikkma, not a warrior mage. I cannot cast elemental spells."

Rikku stomped her foot and pointed at the trunk again. "Don't think about it, just point and cast! You just have to feel like you want to do it and grid will take care of the rest."

Braska hesitated, looking from her to the target. He stretched his arm out towards it and a small crease appeared in his brow, but nothing happened. Rikku shook her head. "Just believe," she insisted.

He opened his mouth, and the words slipped out almost as quickly as the surprise on his face. The familiar-looking casting glow surrounded him, and Rikku smiled in approval. Her smile froze as a massive explosion hit the trunk with so much force it made the ground quake. The blast of the spell broke off many of the larger branches and shattered them, spraying broken shards several feet up into the air. A shocked silence fell between Summoner and Guardian as tiny bits of crystal pattered around them like rain, dusting their heads with silvery powder.

Rikku managed to close her mouth before she inhaled too much of it, and then turned to Braska. His own eyes looked as wide as hers felt. "What was that?" she screeched when she could find her voice again. "I told you to cast a Fire spell at it. A _Fire_ spell!"

At least Braska had the sense to look apologetic. "I thought I might try a Firaga," he said with a weak grin. "I… ah… wasn't expecting such a violent reaction."

Rikku gaped. "That wasn't just a Firaga, that was more like a meteor meltdown!" She thought back to Shinra’s explanation of the magic grids: that a person's innate casting abilities could also have an affect on the grid’s own power. And Braska evidently had an impressive amount of magic power to spare.

"I think I understand how your grid works now," Braska coughed.

"You know, maybe you should look into learning some black magic on your own," Rikku muttered, trying to cover her jealousy. "Considering how much of a punch you can pack, you'd kick some serious butt!"

Braska's face clouded, and he shook the crystalline powder out of his robes. "I do not think I will have the time," he admitted.

The smile faded from Rikku's face. "Don't say that," she murmured, feeling their brief interlude of happiness slipping away.

"… why don't you tell me how these spheres work?" Braska gave her a hopeful smile; Rikku guessed she wasn't the only one not ready to return to their grim duties as Summoner and Guardian just then.

"Umm," Rikku hummed in agreement, moving closer. "I'm going to activate the Alchemist dressphere for you, that's the one I was using earlier." She reached for the belt and Braska tensed. "Don't be afraid," she reassured him. "You'll still be yourself. Just… with a little Al Bhed flair!" She waited until he gave her a curt nod, and then ran a finger over the sphere, activating the node and then stepping back.

Light filled the clearing, but disappeared in a flash; Braska didn't even have time to grunt in surprise before the change overtook him. It was quite a sight, considering how thick and loose-fitting his normal attire was. Dressphere transformations tended to occur with a flair for drama, and with his many-layered robe whipping and glowing around him Braska's transformation was definitely operatic. For a few brief seconds, he looked like some strange, crystalline spirit conjured by the forest itself. Then the transformation was complete, and Braska was standing before her, only different.

 _And how different!_ Rikku swallowed. Yes, it was Braska in front of her, but he was no longer standing. He was slouching in a very un-Braska-like way, arrogant, with an uncharacteristic smirk on his face that could have rivalled one of Jecht's. Gone were the loose, flowing robes, and in its place was typical Al Bhed battle gear, form-fitting and covering him from head to toe. There was even a pair of goggles holding back his long brown hair. That and his piercing blue eyes were the only things that gave away the fact that he wasn't Al Bhed. Those eyes were in the process of appraising her with newfound interest. Rikku felt herself staring and tried to remind herself that he was Yuna's dad. Yuna's apparently very _hot_ dad, underneath all those robes. _No wonder aunt Raenn ran away with him._

"So how do I look?" Braska's voice was calm; despite his shocking physical appearance, his attitude was much more laid-back and relaxed than her own. Still, there was something less reserved about his movements as he sauntered over to pond and took in his own reflection.

Rikku managed to tear her eyes away from his finely muscled backside and give herself a huge mental backhand. _Braska! It's uncle Braska,_ she chanted to herself, holding her head and shaking it. She looked up and noticed Braska watching her reaction with a self-conscious frown; that helped ease her mind somewhat. The dressphere might have seemed to change him, but he was still a far cry from being as over-confident as most travelling Al Bhed needed to be.

"Fantastic," Rikku reassured him. "Better than I thought you'd look," she admitted, joining his side and staring at his reflection in the pool. Then she elbowed him in the ribs with a sly grin. "I mean, wow. This really should be the new fashion trend for all the guys in Spira. Think about it, Jecht might actually stop scaring people away if he tried it out!"

Braska grinned and nudged her back with his own elbow. "This, and excommunication from the Church of Yevon," he added.

Rikku only rolled her eyes upwards. "It's not as bad as you think, you know. You should try it. It’s _freeing_."

"I think I'll pass," Braska answered, squatting. Rikku had to suppress a giggle at the incongruity of it all; people like Braska didn't _squat_ , they _gracefully folded_. Though she had to admit he did make squatting look good.

"You find my appearance that amusing?" Braska asked with an easy smile. "Then you are a liar, even if a kind one."

Rikku crouched down next to him. "Sometimes people need a little white lie, you know?" The grin froze when she noticed Braska reaching out for her; he grabbed one of her dangling braids and slipped it through his palms, letting his fingers twirl around a glass bead.

"You have beautiful hair," he told her, playing with the braid. Silence settled as he waited for her to respond to his advance; it stretched thin when she didn’t. His fingers stilled around the bead, and his face was open as he gazed at her. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this," he stated, _almost_ apologetic. Rikku leaned away from him and he released her hair.

"I do," she told him. "It's the dressphere. It lets you do things you normally couldn't. Or wouldn’t."

Braska sat back on his heels, looking thoughtful. "You're right," he admitted. "I think I understand now. I feel so free... willing to say things I would normally prefer to keep to myself." He gave her a sidelong glance. "However..."

Rikku swallowed again and couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes a second time.

"This... _costume_... it doesn't change the way you really feel, does it? It simply makes those feelings stronger."

"... yeah." Rikku kept her head down, and Braska continued to look at her. She twitched and felt sweat beading on the back of her neck. "I'm not her," she said, her voice low. "I'm not your wife."

"I know," Braska replied. More silence followed. Then he took a deep breath. "You should know that Auron..." He paused, but Rikku's head had already snapped up to watch him at the mention of the other man's name. Braska looked disturbed, as though he was wrestling with himself. Finally, he sighed and continued. "... is many things. Angry, and flawed in his own way. But he is not what you think."

"What do you mean?" Rikku asked, watching him closely.

Braska smiled, a faint flash of pain marring his features. "He is no more a _Yevonite_ than I am. Auron is angry because he is still lost. This Pilgrimage... it gives him purpose and duty. I fear sometimes that it is all he has. Auron needs something to believe in, now that Yevon has abandoned him."

Rikku was surprised by the information Braska provided. She thought back on everything she knew about Auron, and his conversation with Kinoc came to her mind. "... You mean that whole thing about how he got passed up for his promotion?"

Braska looked surprised that she knew, but then gave her a slow nod. "He is a still a Warrior Monk in name." Then his gaze grew sharp and knowing. "But a name can hide many things, can't it, Rikk-u-ma."

Rikku grew very quiet, unable to answer him. Braska didn't press her; instead, she heard him deactivating the dressphere. A moment later, she turned her head and saw that he was offering her the belt.

"You should speak with him," Braska told her. "Auron respects you, and the manner in which you hurt him was unfair. He is handling it in the only way he knows how: with anger."

Rikku stared at the belt in her hands, not quite seeing it. "I hurt him? I didn't think I could, not like that." Braska didn't reply at first; he stood, hiding his face in the lengthening shadows.

"We should return to the others," he told her in his usual gentle lilt; calm and peaceful, a voice that gave away nothing of what he might have been feeling or thinking.

Tottering to her feet, Rikku re-attached the belt around her waist. When she looked up, he was moving away from her, drifting back towards the general direction of their camp. "Hey, Braska," she called out to him in a small voice. He looked back; though his face was as smooth as the crystalline lake, she knew it would only take the slightest of disturbances to ripple through his calm demeanor. "Why are you helping me like this?" she asked. "With Auron, I mean. When, you know..." She gestured at him.

Braska smiled and looked away. "Because you are not Raenn," he replied. Then he hesitated. "Because I would never allow the desire for an impossible dream to interfere with those which I can reach." He paused. "Speak with Auron. He will need your strength for this journey." Then Braska resumed his slow path back towards the camp, and after a moment of thoughtful silence, Rikku followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/16: fixed a major error concerning Summoners in Guadosalam; tweaked Braska and Rikku's dialogue a little; fixed an error concerning Rikku's dressphere experience


	13. Truce

When they arrived back at the camp, Rikku noted with surprise that Jecht and Auron were talking to one another, rather than arguing or sniping as they usually did. Even more surprising was seeing Auron’s Jug of Jolly Jiggers in Jecht’s hands.

Jecht took an exceptionally long swig from the jug, then belched. He tried to hand it back to Auron, but the other man eyed him with a hint of disgust and refused, pushing it back.

"Keep it for now," Auron grumbled. "I'll have it disinfected at the next temple."

"Prig," Jecht muttered. He lifted his hand in a lazy greeting towards Rikku and Braska and raised his eyebrows. "You two back already?"

"Yes," Braska said; he smiled as though nothing interesting had occurred in the last half-hour, and Rikku marvelled at his acting skills. Braska noticed Rikku's scrutiny and tilted his head; she could see the message he was delivering beneath his placid expression. _Speak with Auron._ It wasn't a request. "So, Jecht," he said said, seating himself near the fire. "How much do you know about the Guado?"

Auron looked nonplussed at Braska's interruption of his conversation, and Rikku took the opportunity to sit down next to him. She continued to wriggle and scoot herself over until her thigh was touching the edge of his red overcoat.

 _Try and ignore that, buster,_ she thought with a smirk.

Auron glanced down, then pushed himself up and strode to the edge of the firelight. He leaned against one of the thicker trees, crossing his arms. On anyone else it might have looked like a hasty withdrawal; he, however, managed to make the change of position seem like an attempt to better guard their camp.

 _Rikku: two, Auron: two bazillion,_ she groaned. Then, gathering her courage, she leapt to her feet. Auron met her eyes and frowned. Before she could reach his side and accuse him of avoiding her, he was already moving, disappearing into the shadowy forest.

Rikku rolled her eyes and set out after him, quickening her pace to keep up with his long strides. Auron's getaway might have been successful if he bothered to employ the stealth that she knew he was capable of; instead, he stomped through the crystal, creating a path of destruction that even a half-blind bunyip could follow. Considering the violence of his retreat, Rikku thought it best to concern herself with avoiding the splinters rather than trying to stop him. After a while he slowed down, and Rikku took a moment to absorb their surroundings.

It wasn't as quiet or peaceful as the small pond Braska had brought her to. There was nothing vaguely romantic about the dark, intimidating forest surrounding them; there was no good place to sit and have a talk, and it wasn't even pleasant to look at considering Auron had ruined half of the scenery just to get there. She resettled her eyes on the back of his red coat and waited.

"Go away," Auron said, not bothering to face her.

"I can't." Rikku dipped her head and scuffed at the ground. "And I'm not sure if I want to."

She looked up and saw that he had turned and was now gifting her with the full intensity of his glare. "You make more noise than a shoopuf in a glass cage."

Rikku's mouth dropped open. " _Hello?_ Excuse me, but did you just forget how we even got here?" She made a flamboyant gesture at the crumbled path behind her.

"Despite that I still heard you following me." Auron scowled. Rikku guessed his complaint was sparked more by disgust with himself for listening for her rather than any clumsiness on her part.

"I hope you're a better Guardian than you are a thief," he added with spite.

"Ouch." _That was a cheap shot!_ It wasn’t any cheaper than the ones she’d fired at him while in her Alchemist dressphere, though. Swallowing her pride, Rikku lowered her eyes. "I guess I deserved that."

"Hnn," Auron huffed with an air of superiority, and Rikku decided that her pride didn't taste all that great anyway and needed to be regurgitated.

"... I know how to be a good Guardian!" she snapped. "I learned from the best."

Auron raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You, an Al Bhed, have been on a Pilgrimage before? Let me guess, you even helped defeat Sin once. If you're going to lie to me anyway, why not make it interesting?"

Rikku's nervous sway slowed and she tried to ignore what felt like a punch to her gut. "I didn't follow you to talk about being a Guardian!"

"Then why did you come here?" Auron asked. "That’s all we have in common."

Rikku shook her head. "No it's not!"

Another humorless smile graced his face. "So then you admit to sharing traits with a _Yevonite?_ " His voice dripped with sarcasm.

Rikku winced, but held her ground. "I know you're not a Yevonite." _Inhale, you can do this Rikku. It's just an angry Auron. He'll make sure your death is quick and painless._ "I - was out of line. I'm sorry for insulting you and Braska like that."

The ferocity of Auron's glare was unchanged despite her apology; he didn't trust her. Well, no wonder, but it still hurt.

"I mean it!"

Auron managed to look away, his jaw working as he ground his teeth together. Then, brows furrowing, he nodded at her. "Very well."

The wind blew. A dangling shard of crystal hanging off one of the destroyed trees succumbed to gravity and broke off. The tinkle it made as it shattered filled the awkward lull in their conversation.

"That's it?" Rikku said, flabbergasted. She expected something more dramatic to happen for some reason. Something involving a lot of yelling and perhaps a few pointy edges and most definitely a confrontation. Instead, Auron was accepting her apology too easily. "You mean I just snap my fingers and you forgive me?" she prodded. If there was one thing she had learned, it was that something that seemed too good to be true usually was.

Auron shrugged, the annoyed tilt of his eyebrows remaining fixed. "I can't have you disrupting the group. We need to focus on our duties as Guardians if we want Braska's journey to be successful, and I’ll have enough troubles babysitting Jecht as it is. I don’t have the time or patience to deal with you, too."

Rikku felt something unpleasant churning in her stomach. It struggled its way up her lungs, growing uglier by the second. Finally it burned her throat, connecting in a sharp, pounding headache between her eyes and spilling out through her lips. Auron thought she and Jecht were _problems to be dealt with_ , not Guardians.

"I don't need to be babysat and neither does he!"

Auron turned away from her. "Hnn," he said again, and Rikku wished she had an Auron primer to translate all of his monosyllabic grunts into a comprehensible language.

"I get that you're mad!" Rikku told him. "I lied to you, okay? I admit it, I lied, and it was a big fat whopper, too. I can't cast all that much black magic and I don't use my daggers to fight unless it's an emergency. Stealing and tooling armor are the only things I can do well on my own. I just… I didn’t want you to know and judge me, okay? It’s hard enough being Al Bhed in the first place!"

Auron recoiled at her outburst, as though she had physically slapped him with that much honesty. The surprise registered on his face proved he wasn’t expecting it from her; that disappointed Rikku more than anything else. Being who he was, of course, Auron recovered from his shock and levelled her with a cool glare.

"A confession, now?" he observed. "I don't want to be your priest, nor do I want to be your nanny." He shook his head with a look of weary disbelief. "Rikku. You spin so many falsehoods that I sometimes wonder if there's any truth left in you at all."

"I'm not lying this time, honest!" She winced at her choice of words and ignored Auron's pointed look. "I really do want to protect Braska. And..." She trailed off, her resolve wavering despite her uncle's unspoken order.

"And?" he said impatiently.

"... I didn't mean to hurt you."

Auron stiffened and his face closed; whereas he had been at least registering anger before, now he was unreadable. And then, he spoke.

"Presumptuous, to assume your actions would do anything other than offend me." He paused before continuing with narrowed eyes. "But I warned you to be careful with Braska."

"Well I'm not talking about how Braska feels right now! I didn't want to hurt _you_ ," Rikku repeated, trying to catch his eye. She did, and huffed in frustration when he didn't respond, throwing them into yet another staring contest. She was considering blinking rapidly just to add a little variety to it when he answered her.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Rikku echoed.

Auron's exasperated sigh cut through the air. Well, it wasn't quite the smile she’d been hoping for, but considering his cold shoulder from before, any emotion was progress. "Why didn't you tell me about your weapon?" Auron said, clipping off each word to make sure she understood him.

Rikku fingered her garment grid. "It's not a weapon."

"Fine, your armor," Auron shot back.

"It's not armor either! It's... more complicated than that." She didn't want to explain the garment grid in detail; it had already produced an unexpected result in Braska, and she was beginning to worry about the effect Shinra's ingenious invention might be having on the rest of the Pilgrimage.

"Complicated?" Auron moved towards her and eyed the belt. "I have never in my travels encountered anything like that before. Is it a new secret the Al Bhed are developing to fight Sin?" Rikku didn't answer, and his face pulled into a mild frown. "Is that thing the reason you're an exile?"

Rikku grabbed one of her braids and played with it. “Well, you see… it’s complicated.”

Auron waited for an explanation that never came. “Isn’t it always with you,” he growled to himself. Her unwillingness to elaborate led him to make what he thought was the obvious conclusion. "You stole it and now you're running."

“Bite me!” Rikku yelled before she could stop herself. Her temper flared; if she had any doubts about what he thought of her, that certainly cleared the air. He was close by, and she was taller than before, so if she spun quickly enough, there was a good chance that her elbow might connect with his nose before he could dodge - _Bad Rikku! Hitting Auron won't solve any of your problems, it'll just make you feel better... until he hits back!_ Shaking her head, Rikku focused on less dangerous outlets for her annoyance.

"I didn't steal it! This was a gift, for your information." Auron didn't look convinced, but Rikku continued anyway. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to use it at all," she admitted. "I know... I already told you all about my fabulous skills, huh. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to think I could get by without it. I just..." She swallowed. To her surprise, Auron was still listening to her. The frown had eased off of his face, and he watched her, waiting.

"... Well, you know," Rikku mumbled. It was easier to get the words out afterwards, knowing that she hadn't blown _all_ her chances with him. "Using it would be like giving up. Admitting that I can't go back anymore, for real." She held her breath, wondering if the truth would be enough, if he would understand.

"I see," he said.

Rikku fidgeted. "Huh?"

"This is about Sin." He dropped his piercing gaze, his mouth twisting into a strange half-smile that looked more like a grimace. "You are damaged, just like Braska. You lost someone, too."

Rikku stared at his profile, outlined by the light of the surrounding pyreflies. If she squinted, his features blurred and darkened, blending together in the shadows - almost invisible, almost hidden. It would be easy to mistake the shine highlighting his temple for a tuft of grey. She swallowed. "Yeah, you could say that."

Auron shifted and Rikku jumped. "No, don't!" she pleaded. He froze at her words. "Stay like that for just a little longer, okay?"

Instead of listening, he stood to his full height and moved in front of her. “Hnn. Why?” Light cut across his smooth skin and made his eyes glitter; the hard expression on his face chased away the memory of his older self.

“Because you - ! Ugh, nevermind.” _Be careful with Braska_ , he told her. _Why can’t he take his own advice?_ Or perhaps he _could_ ; maybe that was why he shifted when she all she wanted was for him to stay still, his all-too-familiar features tearing at the barely-scabbed wound in her heart.

Auron looked at her, puzzled. “Why are you staring at me?”

“You looked like someone I knew for a minute there,” Rikku told him.

Auron’s curiosity dissolved into mild disapproval. “Get your head out of the clouds and stop pretending I’m someone else.”

Rikku flinched. _Why can’t you be a little more like your old self?_ He made no apology for puncturing her illusion. It was unfair, perhaps more than it would have been with anyone else. Not even the man himself could compare with the untouchable legend Rikku had created in her mind.

"If I could do it," Rikku said, sinking to her heels and wrapping her arms around herself. "I mean, if I had the chance to get back the person I lost, I don't know if I would anymore. I thought that's what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure." She felt a weight settle on her shoulder and realized that it was his hand. She was mesmerized by the feel of his strong fingers; their warmth seeped through her clothing, burning an imprint onto the skin below. She never remembered him being _warm_ before.

"Happiness is a rare and temporary thing in Spira," he told her. "You shouldn’t feel guilty for opening your heart to your friends, no matter how brief the encounter."

Rikku smirked, wondering if Auron could know how incongruous that advice was, coming from him. "Even if I knew I'd just lose that person all over again?" she asked, prodding at her own wound. "It took me five years to get over it. I don't know if I'd survive a second time."

“There are no guarantees in life. There’s no such thing as a happy ending for anyone in Spira right now.” The hand on her shoulder tightened. "But you would survive." His tone was firm, rather than patronizing; he said it as though he was stating a simple fact, which left Rikku all the more confused.

"Auron?" she queried, daring to look at him.

"You are strong enough," he reassured her, filling her with hope and dread. Then he let his hand fall from her shoulder and looked away. "It's late," he said.

"Yeah," Rikku agreed. Neither of them moved. She focused on the undamaged portion of the forest before them, letting herself drift off in the peaceful silence. Macalania was a place of memory, not just regret. Dangerous as the waters were here, there was no denying the forest’s beauty.

“Braska and Jecht are waiting for us. The longer we delay -”

Rikku rolled her eyes and cut him off. “I know, I know. The more stupid jokes we’ll have to put up with from Jecht.”

Auron grunted, annoyed, and Rikku giggled.

“I want to stay here a little longer,” she said. “I have some thinking to do.” To her surprise, Auron only sighed and settled into a more comfortable stance. “Uhh… you don’t have to wait up for me, you know,” she added.

“Hnn. As if I’d let Jecht dictate my actions. Take as long as you need, I’ll wait.”

Rikku hid her grin, touched by Auron’s concern for her welfare. Even with the beauty of the surrounding forest half-ruined by his own hand, he still managed to charm her into caring about him.

Maybe _that_ was the magic of Macalania. Dangerous as it was, it forced people closer together, if just for a little while. Yuna and Tidus shared their first kiss here, after all. Together they found something to smile about, even when it seemed like there would be nothing but tears left for any of them. Of course, it was all dashed to pieces by the end. But eventually, Yuna smiled again, and more sincerely than ever before. It took awhile, but she survived. Tidus' return to Spira had been the proverbial icing on her cake; Yuna would have been capable of moving on whether he returned or not.

Auron stirred, and Rikku glanced at him from the corner of her eye. She felt a bit jealous, wishing she could siphon off her cousin's strength and just forget about the man who stood at her side.

 _Maybe that was why Shiva made this beautiful, artificial forest_. _To remind us to keep dreaming of better things._ Looking at Auron, Rikku wondered how strong she was. "So are we friends again?" she asked him.

Auron’s lips twisted into a tiny smirk. "We were friends?" But there was no malice in his voice. And was that - ? Rikku peered, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. It looked almost as though his expression was melting into a genuine smile. Did she even want to hope for that much?

"We should return to the camp," Auron told her gruffly. He offered her a hand, and Rikku hesitated. She slipped her palm into his, and his fingers wrapped around her and tightened. Then she was being pulled to her feet and fighting to control the broad grin on her face.

_This is gonna hurt like hell._

**.x.x.x.**

When Rikku woke the next morning, the first sight that greeted her was Jecht, playing with the recording sphere she’d given him. She shot out of her bedroll with a jolt of surprise; the sun hadn’t yet risen. But if Jecht was already up that still meant she was _late_.

"Why didn't you guys wake me up?" she squeaked, bundling together her things in a haphazard rush.

"Ah, relax, will ya?" Jecht told her, playing with the controls on the sphere, a look of intense concentration on his face. "Braska and Auron are scopin' out the place for fiends. Red told me not to wake ya."

"Huh?" Rikku said, gaping. "Are you talking about the same Auron I know?"

Jecht only smirked at her. "Yep. Guess he took one look at you and decided you needed all the beauty sleep you could get."

" _Jecht!_ " Rikku screeched. Then she groaned and grabbed her head. "It's too early to wake up to you in the morning."

"Relax, I'm just foolin' ya," Jecht said, a trifle too contrite to be sincere. "Besides, you can stop actin' so surprised, Blondie. I already said he's got a thing for you."

"No, he doesn't!" Rikku yelped, feeling her face turn bright red.

Jecht paused to smirk at her. “That so? Then why d’ya look like you just been caught with your hand in the cookie jar, huh?”

Rikku slapped her palms to her cheeks and glared at him. “No _hands_ have been in anyone’s _cookie jars_ , Jecht!”

“Not even your own?” Jecht gave her a pitying look. “Man, no wonder you’re so bent outta shape.”

Rikku’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “I’m… just gonna pretend you didn’t say that for my own sanity.”

“I’m just sayin’ -”

“ - and my supply of bullets,” she added meaningfully, but Jecht only smirked. "No really! How can you think that? We're always fighting and stuff!"

"Foreplay," Jecht replied, still fiddling with the sphere. He was interrupted by the tightly bundled sack of bedding that Rikku sent hurling towards his head, knocking him over. "Shit!" he yelled, nearly fumbling the sphere. "What the hell do you think you're doin'? I almost dropped it!"

"You - you - shaved ogre! I don't know how you managed to convince your wife to marry you, 'cause it sure wasn't for your personality!" Rikku sputtered, wishing she had a spare grenade on hand.

" ‘Course not! Everybody knows the women love me for my body," Jecht boasted, lifting his arm and kissing his bicep. He grinned as Rikku seethed at him. "Sorry babe, but you're gonna have to settle for the Stiff. This specimen's spoken for."

" _Augh!_ You're so full of yourself!" Rikku yelled, searching for another projectile to lob. "I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your face with... this... ahh... _this stick!_ " She grabbed her last-minute weapon and brandished it menacingly. The mission to maim Jecht was waylaid by crunching sounds coming from the direction of the forest; Auron broke back into the camp, with Braska trailing behind him. He shook the excess crystal shards off of his boots and looked at them, not at all surprised to catch Rikku chasing after Jecht with a stick.

"Good, you're finally awake," he observed. "Do I want to know why you two are getting along so well this morning?"

Rikku might have believed in Auron’s ill humor had he not bothered to let her sleep in. As it was, she beamed and tried to figure out how to casually dispose of her stick so she could approach him. She felt giddy and nervous, and wondered if she should act nonchalant, as though nothing had changed, or bubbly and cute to try and catch his eye. So great was her dilemma that she almost missed Jecht's next words.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to needle his favorite target, Jecht opened with a promising parlay. "Well, I was just tellin' Blondie here how you got the hots for -"

The stick problem relieved itself quite readily when Rikku chucked it at Jecht's head, forcing him to duck before he could finish the sentence. She turned to Auron, sure that her face was flaming red, and fumbled for words as he lifted a bemused eyebrow.

"Jecht and I were just talking about how hot you are!" she blurted out. Then she winced.

" _What?_ " Now it was Jecht's turn to yell in chagrin, and that was almost worth her embarrassment.

Auron's lips quirked, but it disappeared, only to be replaced by a disturbed expression. "Is that so," he deadpanned, turning to glare at Jecht.

" ‘ey! I don't swing that way!" Jecht protested.

"Pity," Auron grunted, and Rikku's jaw dropped. Jecht was even more shocked; he lost a few shades of tan on the spot. Recovering when Braska began to laugh, he stomped over to the smoldering fire pit to fiddle with his sphere in a sullen funk.

"Auron!" Braska said, joining them. "Did you just make another joke? You had better be careful or it may become a habit."

Auron shrugged, his eyes lightening with a mild spark of amusement. "The ability to offend Jecht can make almost any indignity bearable," he replied. "Besides..." Then he turned and looked at Rikku. "It isn't necessary to be honest all of the time."

Rikku gave Auron a weak smile, one which didn't go unnoticed by Braska. Then, she heard a familiar hum and a click and spun around to look at Jecht. He was still playing with the sphere’s controls; it was glowing in his hands. "What do you think you're doing with that thing anyway?"

Jecht looked up at them. "Well, you said these things were like cameras, didn'tcha?" He pressed another button on the sphere and it began to record.

"What are you taking?" Auron tensed, scowling at Jecht as the sphere centered on him.

"Well, you said it was gonna be a long trip. We'll be seeing lotsa of neat things, right? So I thought I'd record it all in this. To show to my wife and kid, you know." He tilted the sphere and gestured at Auron. "Well don't just stand there like a Stiff. Move or talk or somethin'!"

Auron snorted. "You nearly died yesterday. This is no pleasure cruise!"

Jecht only rolled his eyes in response. "I'm still here. Besides, the fans go crazy for blood!"

"Impossible," Auron muttered, stalking off towards the forest. "Fetch me when he's done acting like a spoiled child.”

After Auron left, Braska frowned at Jecht. "Auron doesn't like being filmed. Perhaps you should acquire a different target next time."

"I got one already!" Jecht answered, lifting the sphere to his eye and squinting through it. "Hey, Braska. Ain't this whole Pilgrimage thing supposed to be a grand occasion? Where're the cheering fans? The crying women?"

At this Rikku stomped her foot on the ground. "What am I, chopped liver?"

"You don't count," Jecht answered.

" _Hey!_ "

"Besides, in your case it's more like whinin' than cryin'," he observed.

"HE-EY BUSTER!" Rikku formed a fist, fully intending to show Jecht just how big of a fan she could be. She stopped at the sound of Braska's quiet voice, low and serious.

"This is it." Braska folded his hands together. "Too many goodbyes - people think twice about leaving." His face betrayed nothing, but thoughts of Yuna hung in the air between them.

"Hmm..." Jecht said. "If you say so." Then he frowned at the oppressive silence that drifted around Rikku and Braska. "Well, it better be a lot more colorful when we come back. A parade for Braska, vanquisher of Sin!"

Rikku winced; it was easy to forget that Jecht didn't know the truth. She wondered what they would tell him when he discovered it for himself. The enormity of their lie made her own spat with Auron seem inconsequential by comparison. She glanced at Braska; having made the same mistake with Tidus, Rikku believed in breaking bad news to others sooner rather than later.

Braska met her eyes and shook his head minutely. So he didn't want it to be known, then. He was just like Yuna, in so many ways it made her ache. He smiled at Jecht, and she marvelled that there wasn't even a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"We should go. The day grows no younger. Gather your things and follow when you're ready, I will find Auron." He left and Rikku sank to the ground, feeling defeated. She looked up when she heard Jecht shut the sphere off. He was eyeing her.

"Am I missin' somethin' here?" he asked, glancing after Braska. "Level with me, Blondie. What are those two hidin' anyway?"

Rikku was at a complete loss for words, feeling a sick sense of déjà-vu. She didn't have the heart to tell Jecht the truth; she couldn't do it any more than she could to Auron. Jecht was still too new to Spira, too full of piss and vinegar and most importantly hope. "They'll tell you when _they're_ ready."

Jecht glowered at her. "I thought you were different from them," he said, the accusation written across his face. "Guess I thought wrong. I'm just another crazy old fool to you too, ain't I. Thanks a lot."

"Hey, I trust you!" Rikku protested.

"Nice way you got of showin' it," Jecht replied, rolling to his feet and grabbing his sword.

Rikku kicked at the ground, angry at herself for disappointing him. "Jecht!" She chased after him. "Hey, wait up!"

"Why? You got somethin' you wanna say to me?"

Rikku nodded. "I... I can't tell you because it's Braska's decision. Please... you have to understand that, Jecht. He's the Summoner, he's the one you have to ask."

"Sure," Jecht sneered at her as they caught up with the others. He passed Auron and tossed a familiar-looking white jug towards the other man.

Auron snatched it out of the air and shook it. Then he looked at Jecht in shock. "This is empty," he noted.

"So?"

"It was almost full last night," Auron pointed out.

Jecht stopped and looked at him, his face schooled into a careless frown. "Well excuse me for bein' thirsty. Maybe I'll save you some next time."

Auron fixed the jug to his belt. "If this is how you normally drink, there won't be a next time." Jecht only shrugged at him and continued his moody tramp through the forest. Auron lingered and waited until Rikku caught up with him. "Is there a reason for Jecht's behavior this morning?" he asked her under his breath.

Rikku sighed and nodded. "He wanted to know what will happen after we defeat Sin."

Auron narrowed his eyes at Jecht's back. "It is... more difficult that I thought it would be," he mused.

"Trying not to tell him?" Rikku asked.

"Trying to tell him," Auron corrected her.

Rikku nodded. "Because he's growing on you," she supplied. Auron grunted, a look of distaste splashing across his face, and Rikku giggled. Then she sobered and looked at Jecht again. "Braska doesn't want us to tell him, you know. But Jecht knows something's up. He's gonna totally blow a gasket when he finds out."

“Braska's decision is unwise. Problems like these only fester if left unattended." Auron frowned. "But if that is what he wants, then I will speak with Jecht. He should learn how to handle his sword; maybe it will be enough of a distraction." He began to move forward, but Rikku caught his arm and held him back.

"Lemmie talk with him first. I need to settle something before you beat him up."

Auron peered at her, but nodded. She sprinted down the path and slowed by Jecht's side. He gave her a cursory glance and continued walking, not bothering with a greeting. Rikku clasped her hands behind her back. "Hey."

"So, are you gonna talk yet or what?" Jecht asked her.

Rikku nibbled her lip. Maybe she didn't have to tell him anything. "You know, that sphere you just made," she said, and felt Jecht's eyes on her. "You should leave it behind."

"Huh?" Jecht fished the sphere out of his pocket and looked at it. "I thought you said these things were expensive! Now you want me to just throw it away?"

Rikku nodded at him. "You made that for Tidus, didn't you? If you want him to find it, you should leave it here." Now she knew she had his full attention.

"What do you know about my boy?" he asked her suspiciously. "You sure you ain't from Zanarkand? I never saw you around the house..." Then he blanched. "You... you ain't one of them celebrity stalkers, are ya?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Trust me, if I wanted to stalk celebrities, I would’ve picked one.” She dropped her head. "I am different from them, you know," she whispered, tilting her chin at Auron and Braska. "I know things they don't. Stuff about you... stuff about Sin. And," she added, cutting him off as he opened his mouth. "I can't tell you, either. But it's enough that you at least know. Because I trust you. And I know you're not a joke, Jecht."

Jecht shook his head. "Why?" he asked her. "I thought this was supposed to be some damn dangerous trip. Why not just tell 'em what you know? Wouldn't it make things easier?"

"Sometimes," Rikku said carefully, "keeping things quiet is the only way we have to protect our friends. So... don't get so mad at Braska and Auron, okay? They're just looking out for you."

Jecht looked unconvinced. He did relax enough, however, to cross his arms behind his head. "I'm gonna find out, ya know," he assured her. "Sooner or later, I'm gonna figure out Braska's big secret whether you want me to or not."

Rikku nodded. "That’s your right. Just don't worry so much about it for now."

Jecht slid his eyes over towards her. "I'm gonna find out your secret, too," he added. "How you know about my boy, why no one else believes in my Zanarkand." He tossed the sphere he was carrying into the air. "But for now, just tell me why I gotta ditch this thing."

"This is a forest of dreams," Rikku replied. "If you try hard enough, I'm sure your dreams will reach Tidus here. He's your son, so he'll find them one day." She smiled at Jecht and shook her head at his puzzled expression. "You don't have to if you don't want to. But I think the least you could do is trust me back."

Jecht fell silent, pacing at her side through the glittering forest. Eventually, Rikku tired of his company and scampered ahead down the path. Auron passed him and mumbled something about training, but Jecht waved him off, preferring instead to study the sphere in hands. Finally, with a sigh, he shook his head. "I must be crazy," he said out loud. Then, drawing his hand back, he threw the sphere as far as he could into the dense forest. A small plip sounded as it landed in one of the many pools of crystalline water, and he imagined it sinking to the bottom.

"I hope I find you before you ever find that, boy," Jecht muttered, then rejoined Braska’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/16: reworked Auron and Rikku's forest dialogue, now with even more Jecht Jokes(tm), usual style edits


	14. Reflections

It wasn't cold, Rikku decided. It was _damn_ cold. Shivering, she pulled the thin brown cloak around her shoulders and squinted against the light that bounced across the snow.

"I'm freezin’ my balls off!" Jecht muttered, huddling next to her. The wind was much too harsh to risk baring her tender gums to its cutting bite; instead, Rikku settled on scowling at him from under the lip of her collar. Even Braska looked uncomfortable, hugging his arms around himself against the bitter cold. Auron alone seemed comfortable in the chilly weather; it may have been the layers of clothing he deemed necessary to wear, or perhaps it was pride that kept him stiff.

 _Or maybe his face froze into that scowl,_ Rikku thought, jealous of the thick coat that covered both of Auron's arms. Al Bhed and snow definitely did _not_ mix. She was half-tempted to tap into the power of her garment grid; one of her outfits might afford her more protection than the flimsy miniskirt and thin cloak which she clutched to her throat. The disastrous result of her last experiment with the garment grid was enough motivation to dissuade her, though.

The wind howled, and a few crystals of ice fell off of Rikku's braids. _Barely,_ she amended, fingering her belt. Still weighing the disadvantage of irritating her companions against the benefit of not having to amputate frostbitten appendages, Rikku didn't notice when their small procession stopped. She pitched into Jecht and they both nearly fell into the snow.

“Oww! Watch it!” Jecht wasn't much better off than she; he had ripped his own cloak apart to cobble together makeshift moccasins for his bare feet, and as a result the remaining fabric was much too short to keep him warm. In a feeble attempt to stretch what little clothing he did wear, Jecht had slung the straps of his overalls over his chest. It made his appearance even more similar to his son than before, and as he swore and stumbled at their collision, Rikku was much too cold and tired to think about the apology that came tumbling out of her mouth.

"Oh, sorry, Tidus."

She didn't notice when Jecht froze and stared at her; she completely missed the dawning look of suspicion and disbelief on his face, which hardened quickly into determination. Nor did she realize her mistake when Auron called them to gather around and pointed out the small travel agency by the side of the path. She was too busy marvelling over the fact that it was _Auron_ who stopped first. By the time her sluggish brain caught up with her mouth, they were ensconced within the warm building and Jecht appeared unaffected by her slip, busy warming his feet at the table nearest to the fireplace. Shrugging to herself, Rikku slipped out of her dampening cloak and joined Auron and Braska at the clerk's desk.

"We rest here," Auron told them. Braska nodded in agreement, his face pinched and weary from the long hike.

"That will be 650 gil," the desk clerk said officiously, frowning at Rikku. The Agency had yet to fall into Rin's hands, let alone O'aka's - it was actually more of a Summoner's way station than a shop, at the present time, one that was being run out of the Church of Yevon's own pockets. It showed; as the sneering clerk quoted his price, Rikku realized a moment too late that unmasking her shock of blonde hair and green eyes was not the wisest of manoeuvers. The price was exorbitant, and she opened her mouth to protest.

The stern glance Auron shot at her did little to quell her anger, but the weary slump of Braska's shoulders lodged the complaint in her throat. She shut her mouth and backed away from the countertop, realizing that the high price was, in some regard, her fault. A flush deeper than that brought about by the cold stained her cheeks; she wondered what Auron would have to say to her once they were in private. Seating herself by Jecht at the table instead, she tried to warm up.

"They better sell some goddamn shoes here," Jecht mumbled, inspecting one of his toenails. The instant they had entered an area with something more than sub-freezing temperatures, Jecht's makeshift shoes came off. The skin on the bottom of his feet was scarred and calloused; Rikku wondered if he could feel anything through his soles at all.

"I don't think we'll have a lot of money left after tonight to buy shoes, let alone anything else," she said in a small voice.

"Great. Didn't really need those toes anyway," Jecht answered, his humor only mildly improved by the change in environment. He pulled a face as he heard Auron's voice lift enough to reach them. The shopkeeper was gesturing at their table, and Auron's expression was frostier than the weather outside. Her ears burned as she figured out what they were arguing about, and she pulled the hood of her damp cloak up over her braids.

"Don't worry so much about it," she heard Jecht say gruffly. He pulled the hood away from her. "Big red and ugly won't let 'em turn you out."

Rikku felt a rush of appreciation for Jecht's words and snuck another glance at the counter. Braska was speaking now, trying to placate the clerk while Auron stood to his side like a slab of granite. An intimidating, sword-wielding slab of granite. It was comforting to know that the reason for his behavior was her own safety. Well, and Jecht's safety too, if she wanted to be honest; then again, as she watched Jecht contort to pick between his toes, she preferred to think she was the deciding factor in the equation.

 _Auron's always protecting me,_ Rikku thought with another twinge of warmth. The last time she visited Macalania on a Pilgrimage, it had been just as cold. When Brother attacked, Auron stood between them. The iron in his calm voice had bolstered her, allowing her to find the strength to stand up against her people. Afterwards, his curt demand for assistance with the machina had shielded her against Wakka's heated words.

It was then that her crush started, Rikku realized. He had been silent as they rode together towards the temple. She’d wrapped her arms around his waist and cowered behind his bulk to shield herself from the cutting wind. Even with the thick red coat between them, he’d been tense, just as upset with her as he was with Wakka. It was because _her_ family coordinated the attacks on the Summoners and threatened Yuna’s Pilgrimage. The warmth of his strong words against Brother had bled away with the cold breeze; it wasn't until Auron defended her again at the temple, despite his annoyance, that her fascination transformed into something deeper.

 _He wasn't just guarding Yuna_. Both she and Tidus fell under his care, rough as it was; with a slight hitch of disappointment she understood now that it wasn't any sort of sign that he returned her own blossoming feelings. Auron was simply Auron - staunch defender of those who needed protection. Though he would be loathe to admit it, his actions always spoke of a code of honor much louder than his rough words.

The more Rikku thought about it, the more disenchanted she became. Strange, how revisiting Macalania now of all times was shedding new light on one of her most treasured memories. She’d based her obsession with the Legendary Guardian on her gratitude, when he acted as her knight in shining armor. Now, it seemed more and more like Rikku had, once again, overreacted to a much simpler explanation for his behavior - Auron was being _himself_.

"Maybe I came all this way for nothing..." She shivered. Was all she really had just shadows and impossible girlish fantasies? Rikku looked towards the counter and froze. Auron's stance hadn't shifted, but his eyes were now trained on her. He quirked an eyebrow, as if she was broadcasting her thoughts across her face.

 _Do I even like him?_ Rikku asked herself, meeting his stare without any hostility. _Am I in love with him, or a reflection of him that I created?_ She continued to gawk and Auron's eyebrow rose higher, questioning her scrutiny. Rikku grimaced and stuck her tongue out, and Auron's bordering-on-curious look descended into a scowl of disapproval.

 _Sure, he's hotter now than he ever was when he was... uh, dead,_ Rikku thought. _But he's still the same Auron I remember. He doesn't like me; he protects me._ It wasn't enough. Not enough to base her fantasies on, and certainly not enough to justify being trapped in the past, reliving a hell that she had thought was over and done with. She tilted her chin at Auron in dismissal and faced the fire, her mouth pulled into a fierce frown.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jecht chuckled. "Better look out. He's comin' this way!"

Rikku cringed but ignored him, staring stubbornly into the fire even when Auron arrived. Her aloof vigil was harder to keep when he used her own tactics; he leaned closer and the edges of his red overcoat brushed against her arm.

"You have been irritable ever since we entered Lake Macalania," Auron stated. He waited for her response, but Rikku clenched her teeth together. She heard him sigh before continuing. "Rikkma, what is the matter?"

Wondering if he was asking out of concern or duty, Rikku decided she didn't care. This man she was beginning to know would throw himself - in fact already _had_ thrown himself - in front of fiends to save any member of their little entourage, herself included. Now, instead of making her blush with pleasure, the idea of him defending her was annoying - a confirmation that she didn't know Auron as well as she thought she did. Still, it wasn't fair to be taking out her sour temper on this Auron; he couldn’t even know what he had "done" to annoy her besides be himself.

"Hnn," she heard him grunt before she could formulate a suitable response. "Sulking like a child because you were careless enough to be recognized by Yevon's faithful. In case you haven't noticed, it's not going to get any easier." The last he delivered with disdainful bite. "Stop worrying. Braska has managed to reach an agreement with our host."

The contrite words Rikku had been thinking of saying were drowned in a rising wave of indignation. "That’s not it," she said, narrowing her eyes at Auron. "Overeager Yevonites don't scare me at all. Stop trying to protect me like I'm some little kid!"

Auron stared at her, his face a mask. The slab of granite was reforming. "Fine. Sleep outside, then." He stepped away and seated himself at the table across from Jecht, who glanced between them.

"Whoa, Blondie! Auron was just tryin' to help out there. What's eatin' ya now?"

Rikku drew her knees up and dropped her chin onto them. "Umm... sorry. I guess the cold makes me snappy," she fibbed. "Thanks for talking to the innkeeper for me," she added, peering in Auron's direction.

" _Thank you_ for that overflowing expression of gratitude," Auron replied acidly, not bothering to look up from the small menu he grabbed off the center of the table. Rikku stifled a smile; she’d actually affected Auron with her snub. He had, after all, been working the clerk over for her benefit, and she _was_ being less than grateful for his efforts.

Her eyes settled on the top of his head, travelling along the skin that was, to her, odd-looking - a little too smooth and free of scars. His face was contorted with the faint traces of a scowl that hinted at his own bad temper.

 _Who is this angry young man sitting here?_ The telltale traces of annoyance would have been much harder to spot on his older face; the Auron she’d known in the past didn't require acknowledgement of his efforts - he simply acted. His younger self, sullenly perusing the menu, didn't have quite the same measure of self-control or maddening serenity that she was used to seeing.

 _Hah, when he's pouting like this he kinda reminds me of Gippal,_ Rikku concluded with a smirk. Then she felt a bit of guilt; there’d been no time to spare a thought for her friend and one-time crush since her trip to the Farplane.

Curious, she began to compare the two men in her head, studying Auron as he flipped a page. Gippal had the bigger ego, even with young Auron's brazen attitude. And it _was_ an attitude; the status of Legendary Guardian allowed people to assume Auron had the right to carry on the way he did. This Auron, by comparison, had no such reputation yet still displayed the same gruff behavior. That was where the similarity ended. Auron had more eyes and less smiles than Gippal. _And_ Auron didn't flirt with everything that moved, unless you counted being threatened by his massive sword as courtship.

Growing aware of her observation, Auron looked up from his menu. He frowned at her and Rikku shrugged. “I’m people watching right now. So it’s you or Jecht.”

As if to prove her point, Jecht lifted his foot towards his nose and sniffed. “I think my feet actually got cleaner from walkin’ through that forest,” he told them.

Auron twitched. “Find a new target,” he said to Rikku, rising to his feet. “I need to see Braska about our meal.” He returned to the counter, menu still in hand.

Rikku watched him go. _Well, he’s got a better butt than Gippal too._ Her quiet giggle died out. Thinking about Gippal, no matter how amusing it was, also brought back thoughts of her home, and what she had lost in returning to the past.

 _Did I ever give him a real chance?_ Rikku knew she was uncharitable when it came to Gippal's light-hearted advances; though she had developed a crush on him early on, she knew him well enough to stay away from the risk a playboy would pose to her heart. Now, however, isolated from the possibility of seeing him again, she wondered if that had been wise. The more she understood the flaws in her idealized vision of Auron, the more foolish it seemed to have given up on the could-have-beens. Who was to say Gippal would have hurt her? Rikku stared into the fire, distracted, and let the memory of the sun-washed sands of Bikanel warm her.

**.x.x.x.**

"Hey, Cid's girl, what're you staring at?" Gippal’s teeth flashed in the sun, a stark white against his bronzed skin. There was a daring twinkle in his eyes - and he had both of them still, back then - that Rikku knew spelled trouble; more so if he realized she’d been mooning over him.

"It's Rikku!" she shot back, sticking her lower lip out in a pout. In an unusual rush of bravery, Rikku decided to tell him the truth. "And I was staring at you!"

Gippal balked, taken by surprise at her bold admission, and Rikku awaited his response. A slow, smug grin spread across his face, and he ran a hand through his hair before opening his arms wide. "The goods are right here, babe. All you gotta do is say if you want some."

It was the self-satisfied smirk that killed it, Rikku decided then. "Sorry," she answered back with more confidence than she felt. _I won't be another one of your conquests,_ she wanted to say. But she couldn't, because she could never be honest with Gippal. You never knew when it would come back to haunt you. Gippal was notoriously good at finding ways to embarrass her, and her heart was the one thing she refused to risk for his personal amusement.

So instead, she returned his smirk with one of her own and thumbed her nose at him. "I was just thinking you make an awfully convincing sand monkey with your hair spiked up like that. Monkey boy!"

Had she only imagined his smirk faltering at that statement? Did his eyes lose some of their twinkle? She couldn't have said, because in the next instant his smile was predatory, and he was stalking after her with one of the dirty rags, splattered with machina grease. "Well, if I'm a sand monkey, then you must be a grease monkey!" he yelled as he tackled her.

She screamed in delight, and they wrestled and laughed like the children they were. In a way, she was glad, because the mock-battle that ensued hid the flaming spots that rode high on her cheeks.

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku shook off the memory as the hairs on the back of her neck rose. Refocusing on her surroundings, she saw Jecht picking at his toes, Braska at the counter, and Auron reseating himself at their table, studying the menu as though it held the secrets of the universe. Rikku's gaze lingered on the latter, her mind still caught up in the hazy dream of desert sands.

Could she love Gippal the way she thought she loved Auron? The two men were polar opposites, with the exception of their missing eye. Auron was moody and brooding, in his element surrounded by cold snow rather than warm sunlight. His skin was as pale as his hair was dark; Rikku was sure she had only seen his teeth when he bared them in a grimace, like a wild animal preparing to bite its prey.

Compared with him, Gippal's easy smile and carefree attitude seemed boyish and immature. Feeling relieved by her conclusion, Rikku let out a tiny sigh. _Maybe I could fall in love with Gippal in about 40 years._ _That's probably how long it would take him to grow up!_ The thought of Gippal as an old man, posing crazily on one leg and leering at younger women made her giggle.

" ‘ey. You've got that weird look on your face again."

Rikku noticed Jecht scrutinizing her. "Weird look?"

"Yeah," Jecht answered. "Y'know, the one that means you can't be thinkin' anything good."

Rikku blinked. Her face really _was_ an open book if even an illiterate like Jecht could read it. "Well, uh..." Maybe honesty _was_ the best policy in this case. "... yeah! You're right! If I tell you all about my nefarious plans, Auron's gonna have to kill us both, and he's already in a bad mood."

Rather than discouraging Jecht as she had hoped, the spark of curiosity took root and turned into a flame. "Naw, see, now you _gotta_ tell."

"Oh, poopie," Rikku muttered under her breath. "Fine. I was thinking about..." She sucked in her breath and stole a glance at Auron, who had looked up from the menu at the sound of his name. The eyebrow was slowly creeping upwards again, but at least he wasn't scowling at her. Yet.

"... older men. I think I'm attracted to older men." Well, it was the truth. She could say it with a straight face and Auron wouldn't be able to accuse her of lying. Technically, she wasn't. And, it conveniently explained why she couldn't convince herself to take her attraction to Gippal seriously. That was a comforting thought. "Yeah, that must be it! I like older men. That's why I can't get along with Gippal." A movement caught her eye; Auron had dropped his menu onto the table. A quick glance to the side showed that Jecht was also staring.

"You like older men?" Jecht said gleefully, his eyes wide as saucers.

"Gippal?" Auron asked.

Rikku felt the blush that had been lurking near the surface explode to her cheeks. _I said that out loud? Holy machina, who needs to read my face when I have this motor mouth?_

"Nevermind! Forget I said anything!" Rikku squeaked, making a spectacle of fussing with her braids.

The damage was done, and the smile creeping across Jecht's face could have rivalled one of Gippal's any day. "How much older?" he asked. " 'Cause the way you were starin' at Auron back there makes me think you're lyin'..."

If it was possible to rupture blood vessels with a blush, Rikku was sure she would be dying of internal bleeding. "How do you know I wasn't staring at Braska, huh?" she asked, crossing her arms and deliberately looking away from Auron.

“Were you?" Auron's voice was serious, and despite Jecht's snigger Rikku couldn't keep her eyes from flying to Auron’s face. _Was he - no, he couldn't be -_ Auron didn't get _jealous._ Not in any universe. But he did look like he was ready to murder something. Most likely her, if she didn't answer him soon.

"Ewww, no way!" Rikku blurted out. "That's gross, we're practically family!"

Deadly silence settled over the table. At least, Rikku wished it was deadly. Because then, she would actually die, and not have to live through the storm that she knew was about to break.

" ** _What?_ ** " Auron bellowed, all pretences of the menu forgotten. Rikku's eyes widened and she tried to shush him, glancing over to the counter where both Braska and the clerk were now looking at them. The only person who remained calm and collected was Jecht; he was staring at her from half-closed eyes. For a fleeting moment, Rikku wondering what was going through the burly man's head. It was almost as though he was _trying_ to make her drop her guard and slip up…

"Explain yourself!" Auron hissed at her, his eyes boring angry holes into her head. He was incensed at the unearthing of yet _another_ one of her secrets. Rikku felt her skin go clammy as Braska approached their table. Would he say anything? Would _Jecht_ say anything?

"Well," Braska said as he seated himself, oblivious to the tense conversation. "It took some convincing, but he agreed to take us in and serve us dinner for a reasonable price." His eyes drifted over them, lingering on Rikku's suddenly-pale face. "Is something wrong?"

Rikku opened her mouth, her mind still turning like a chocobo in a wheel as she tried to come up with a viable excuse. Her relief when Jecht interrupted was short lived.

"Rikkma was just sayin' somethin' real interesting here," Jecht offered, smirking at her.

Rikku stared at Jecht with silent horror, pleading with her eyes to keep his big mouth shut. Or at least hypnotise him into silence; _these swirls have to be good for something!_

"Oh really?" Braska paused to relieve the clerk of the tankards of ale and plates of steaming soup brought to their table, handing them out to the others. "What was it?"

Rikku looked down into her bowl of clear broth, watching the blobs of grease float across its surface. She swallowed back her nausea and attempted to answer. "I - I... um, well, I -"

"She likes older men," Jecht supplied, picking up his spoon and scooping some soup into his mouth.

Rikku thought she would collapse with relief. It was temporary as she wrestled with the new dilemma that arose: why did Jecht make that save? _Was it because of that slip-up I made calling him Tidus earlier? Is he angling for something?_ She looked at Jecht and narrowed her eyes. _What’s his game?_

He swallowed, then gave Rikku a wink. "Auron ain't takin' it too well." _And now you owe me_ , his mean grin seemed to say to her.

"Oh," Braska said, sparing a careful glance at Auron. A brief twist of amusement crossed his face. "Even if we are all friends here, it may be for the best if you refrain from telling us _all_ of your preferences, Rikkma." He gave her a weary smile and picked up his spoon, and Rikku felt another wave of guilt for adding once again to Braska's problems. Strong-willed he might be, but Braska was far from accustomed to the hard travel which the Pilgrimage demanded. His face was pale and she tried not to notice how his hand shook as he ate.

Humbled into silence, Rikku dedicated herself to the task of eating the thin, greasy soup. It was too much to hope the dinner would continue that way; after a few moments, Auron dropped his spoon with a clatter.

“Rikkma,” he said. “Why did you say that?”

“Hmm?” Braska paused, spoon halfway to his mouth.

Rikku laughed nervously. “Oh, you know,” she fumbled, giving Auron a tight grin. “I was just pointing out how _all_ Al Bhed are kinda related. You know us gear-heads - same hair, same eyes… we might as well all be a part of the same big family, right?”

Auron narrowed his eyes but said nothing. Braska, however, lowered his spoon and gave Rikku a hard look.

“I thought we had finished this discussion in Bevelle,” he said, his voice a little too calm for Rikku’s liking.

“Huh? Oh…” _Shoot._ She’d forgotten about Braska’s stern warning the last time she’d tried to lump the Al Bhed together under one ill-fitting umbrella. “... sorry about that. I was just joking!”

Braska’s hand clenched around his spoon. “I will not have you, or anyone else making such jokes in poor taste. If you cannot respect yourself, then the least you might do is show a little for my daughter and my late wife.”

“Yes, my lord,” Rikku said lowly, and the tense meal resumed in silence, punctuated only by the clack of spoons against the clay bowls. She hunched over her soup, masking her scowl. _What a mess_ , she fumed, sneaking a glare at Jecht. _Owe him? Yeah, right!_ She turned her gaze to Auron and choked on her soup.

He’d already finished eating and was resting his elbows on their table, hands folded in front of his face. He observed her closely, willing to delay pressing her on the latest revelation for Braska’s sake. But, from the look on his face, not for long.

Finishing his meal, Braska pushed away from the table. “My apologies, but I am exhausted. I think I shall call it a day.”

Auron stood to assist him, pausing only to lean towards Rikku. The warm rush of his breath, soured by the soup, blew into her ear. "A word before you retire," was all he said.

Rikku gulped. She swirled the remains of her meal, trying to draw it out until they were gone. Jecht cleared his throat, and Rikku started. If she stayed at the table, she would be alone with _him_ instead - and Jecht already looked like he was planning on grilling her. _Interrogation by sword or blitzball,_ she thought with a frustrated sigh. Groaning in defeat, Rikku excused herself and trailed after Auron.

"That one is yours, Rikkma," Braska said, pointing at one of the doors further down the hallway. "If you'll excuse me..."

"Oh! Yeah, thanks," Rikku said, distracted by Auron’s scrutiny. Their silent staring contest was broken by Jecht's cough as he ambled into the room after Braska.

"We won't wait up for you," he smirked.

Auron turned his mouth down into a disapproving frown, but not even Jecht's humor could throw him off his target. Rikku squirmed.

"You're really giving him the wrong idea," she said when they were alone in the hall. Her attempt to distract Auron failed miserably. He grabbed her by the elbow and escorted her to her door.

"You are related to Braska?" he asked. His gaze was probing, but no longer angry. It was, however, stern. There would be no wriggling out of answers this evening. Not that she wouldn't try, though.

"I'm not! Not really," she said. "Not like that."

"Then why did you say it?" Auron pressed. Rikku remained silent, and she wondered if he was going to explode at her. To her surprise, he only leaned in closer. He was massive; Auron had just as much muscle as Jecht, he simply kept it hidden under his heavy robes and thick armor. "Tell me the truth, Rikku," he demanded. Her name rolled off of his lips like velvet brushing across her skin.

Rikku closed her eyes, trying to understand herself and the swell of emotions that rose when he said her name. It was a crime; it was _her_ name. No one should have the right to say it like that; didn't he know he was stripping her of ownership just by pronouncing it in that voice of his?

"Rikku," he said again, this time with a touch of impatience. He caught her chin as she tried to twist away from him.

 _Warm_ , she thought of his unexpected touch. "I'm not related to Braska," she said, not daring to open her eyes. She tried to will away the fluttering in her belly.

Gippal never said her name like that; he spoke with sunlight and laughter. Auron murmured it like a dark secret that was threatening to swallow her whole. _If_ _I'm not in love with him,_ her thoughts whispered, _then why do I tremble when he says my name?_   She would blame it on the cold, if his fingers weren’t burning her so. To her relief, Auron's hand dropped away from her face, but even with her eyes closed she could feel his gaze. She knew he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I'm related to Raenn," she said, so softly that it could have been mistaken for a breath, had he not been leaning in. Air brushed across her face, and then the warmth of his presence was gone. Daring to open her eyes a crack, she sighed in relief - or was it dismay - at what she saw.

“So that is who you lost…” Auron trailed off, his face distant as he processed the new information.

Rikku winced. Well… she supposed his assumption that she was broken up over Raenn’s death was better than admitting she was torn because he looked uncannily like her dead non-boyfriend. She watched Auron struggle to come to terms with her latest surprise; his face looked much the same way it had when he’d discovered her connection to Brother.

 _He’s the same person, in many ways_. Scarred or not, the man before her still held an undeniable power over her heart. It was certainly hammering loud enough in her ears to be in agreement with that conclusion. _Maybe,_ she thought to herself with a brief glimmer of hope, _it doesn't matter who I thought he was, just who he is now._

True to form, Auron turned on her with a fierce scowl. "Don't think I will let this affect the Pilgrimage," were his first words to her, and she smiled at his predictability. The smile faltered as he continued to look at her; he wasn't mad. Well okay, he was mad, but not _I'm-kicking-you-out-of-the-party_ mad, just _Rikku's-gone-and-done-it-again_ mad. There was a hint of something beneath the surface, a struggle boiling within him.

 _He didn’t ask_ **_how_ ** _I’m related to Raenn._ Even after his disgrace from Yevon, Auron still couldn't put down the animosity he felt for Cid, leader of the Al Bhed people. But it was looking more and more like it had to do with Braska’s exile, rather than Yevon's doctrines. He didn't want to know how she was related to Raenn, she understood; he didn't want to hate her the way she was sure he hated Cid, the source of all Braska’s hardships.

Rikku flushed; equal parts of shame and pride mixed within her. Auron was disengaging her, making the decision to keep her secrets easier, she knew, but part of her swelled in anger. _Coward,_ she wanted to rail at him, even though she wasn’t any braver. Hadn't she run from Gippal, his arms outstretched? _But that was different,_ Rikku told herself stubbornly, ignoring the small voice in the back of her head that kept asking _how?_ Instead she focused on Auron, who was about to leave.

"Auron..." she whispered, and he paused. _Don't run away from this_. _Don't run away from who I am!_ No words came out, however, and he filled the silence for her.

"Get some rest, Rikkma." He turned and walked away.

The name left her feeling cold and alone, bereft of the warmth she felt earlier. It wasn't her name; it was the name of a stranger. Rikku guessed the Auron she remembered would never have ended the conversation where he did; the Auron she knew didn't shirk any truth, no matter how unpleasant.

The door shut behind him, leaving Rikku alone in the hallway with her own muddled feelings. She wasn't in love with the legend anymore, she was fairly sure. But no matter how she tried, she couldn't ignore the complicated man who would die protecting any of them, but still ran from himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/16: usual edits; changed Rikku's identifying family member from Cid to Raenn, added some dialogue to the Agency scene


	15. Fiend Filching

Morning dawned over Lake Macalania with a clarity that could only be the result of breath-takingly cold weather. No one in the Summoner's entourage was happy to greet it; Braska was still exhausted from the journey through the forest, Jecht hadn't managed to find himself any more clothing, and Auron was avoiding Rikku.

Rikku herself wasn't feeling very energetic, although that was because she spent the first half of the night tossing and turning, replaying the previous evening's conversation over and over again. After giving up on sleep as a lost cause, she dedicated the rest of her night to pilfering a few 'rightly earned' supplies from the agency storerooms - she was certain Braska's bartering skills weren't up to snuff. The remaining long hours of the morning were spent sewing Jecht a better pair of moccasins with her newfound supplies.

 _At least something productive came out of last night,_ Rikku thought blearily, tucking her cloak under her chin. Jecht seemed less than thankful for her efforts.

"Did you have to make ‘em pink?" he asked, annoyed as he pulled the slippers on.

"Nobody's gonna see them in all that snow anyway, so stop complaining!" She was quite proud of the large pink moogle pom-poms she’d worked into the design. Revenge was a dish best served as fuzzy and emasculating as possible.

"Rikkma, Jecht," Braska called from the door. "It is time."

With sighs, they both exited into the bitter cold. A quick look around showed Auron far ahead, clearing a path through the snow. They made their way to the crest of a hill; Rikku paused at the apex, gaping at the snow-encrusted canyon they would have to pass.

The path stretched endlessly before them; she didn't remember the hike to the temple being _that_ long. Then again, the last time she had travelled to Macalania Temple, they’d arrived by machina and left under Guado duress. Now, with no distractions to interrupt the journey, there was nothing but snow, snow, and more snow. Rikku let out a loud sigh which crystallized into the frozen air before setting out.

A few hours later, she had a runny nose, numb fingers and a healthy respect for Wakka, who had chosen to walk the entire way in nothing more than his sandals. On the plus side, Jecht stopped complaining about his custom footwear fifteen minutes into the journey, and now even appeared to be thankful for the fuzzy pink poufs that covered his ankles. Poorly dressed as he was, he was holding up better than Braska, whose pace gradually slowed until he was walking alongside of her, bringing up the rear of their small party.

Rikku tried to study Braska unnoticed, slowing her pace to match his. His shoulders were hunched underneath his long robes, and though his breathing was labored his cheeks were white as marble. She snuck a glance forward, considering whether or not Auron would listen if she requested a short stop. As she sucked in her breath to shout, however, Braska addressed her.

"Rikkma," he said, "please don't call out to the others."

Rikku shut her mouth and faced Braska. "Don't you wanna stop?" she asked. "You don't look too good, you know. I mean, you're starting to blend in with the snow there."

Braska shook his head, a smile flitting across his face. "No... I can’t rest. This is not even the most difficult leg of our travels. If I do not have the strength to overcome a challenge this simple, then what of the rest of our journey?"

"Hey, it's not like we're in a hurry or anything!" Rikku answered. "Who says you have to make it to the temple all in one go?" Their eyes flickered to the front of the group, landing on the back of Auron's red coat. "Umm, besides him," she amended. "Auron doesn't count, he's, like, made for pain!"

Braska chuckled, though it died out in a series of dry coughs. When he could speak again, he regarded her solemnly. "Pain is a part of life in Spira. I find it wondrous that Jecht is free of that burden." His eyes grew unfocused. "I wish to spread that freedom to all people. I can’t allow myself to rest for anything until I've accomplished that goal - especially not for my own weaknesses."

Rikku fingered the edges of her cloak. "About that, Braska... don't you think you should say something to Jecht?" She cleared her throat, trying to swallow the lump that had risen in it. "He deserves to know the truth."

They trudged together through the snow for a few moments in silence, before Braska spoke again. "I... know it’s selfish," he began. "But I want to enjoy Jecht's happiness. He is different from anyone else I have met. He doesn’t expect things of me. He does not expect me to -"

"Don't say it!" Rikku cut him off. "You don't have to say it out loud. It's bad enough knowing it's gonna happen anyway."

Braska regarded her with a smile. "Thank you for believing in me," he told her. "Your words give me more strength than you know."

Rikku bit down on the urge to yell at Braska for his gratitude. _Why are you thanking me for telling you I know you're gonna die?_ It wasn't so much belief as a slowly-building sense of dread, though she could hardly tell _him_ that. He looked much too tired to weather another argument from her, however, so she kept her lips pressed together. Another silence fell between them, this one uncomfortable. _He's too much like Yuna._ "It's gonna turn into one big mess when Jecht finds out."

"I know," Braska agreed. He seemed smaller and more frail than ever; Rikku felt her heart constrict with sympathy. She reached out and grabbed his hand, trying to give him what little comfort she could. Braska looked up, surprised, before his features melted into a grateful smile and he squeezed her hand in return. His fingers were blocks of ice against her own, and Rikku frowned.

"Are you really positively sure you don't wanna stop?" she asked, cupping both hands around Braska's own and trying to rub some warmth into him. "I could start a fire or something, you know..." She trailed off as a familiar prickling sensation raced across her neck.

Auron was looking back at them, and his eyes were trained on her. Or, more accurately, they were focused on her hands, which were joined with Braska's. His gaze moved to her face; abruptly he turned and continued his trudge through the canyon. Rikku gulped and released Braska's hand as though she had been burned. To her dismay, the small interchange didn't go unnoticed.

"What happened between you two last night?" Braska asked her, his tone cautious. "Auron is distancing himself from you once again."

Rikku’s expression dropped. "Like I know what that big dummy's thinking," she grumbled, kicking at the snow. Her head shot up when Jecht's voice broke through their conversation; he’d slowed down to see what was keeping them.

"Another lover's quarrel, eh? What, ya didn't let him into your room last night?" Jecht crossed his arms. "He's been snappin' at me every time I get close. That man needs to get laid!"

Rikku’s face grew hot enough to melt the surrounding snow. "What are you looking at me for?" she screeched, clenching her fists together.

"Jecht," Braska said with the tiny smile that revealed nothing. "Perhaps you shouldn't tease Auron and Rikkma quite so much. I don't think they enjoy your jibes."

"Yeah! Lay off it already!" Rikku added, sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes for good measure.

"Relax, don't get your panties in a twist," Jecht growled. "I didn't come here to tease ya anyway. I told Auron I thought we should stop an' let you two wusses catch your breath, but he bit my head off."

"I don't need to stop," Braska said, his smile thinning.

Rikku, sensing an opportunity, pounced. "Yeah, well I do." She planted her feet into the snow. "I'm bushed. We should take a vote! Majority rules. And I say we stop right now!"

"Me too," Jecht agreed. By coincidence, of course, he happened to plant himself directly in Braska's path. Taking the cue, Rikku scooted to Jecht's side and also blocked Braska's way forward.

"Very funny," Braska sighed, trying to step around them. Rikku moved to intercept him, and when he tried for the other side, Jecht sidestepped into his path.

"Give it up, we're both faster than you," Jecht said with an air of finality.

Braska studied them for a moment, then shook his head with a smaller but more genuine smile. "Very well. We can rest here for a few moments."

Rikku beamed and Jecht let out a loud whoop before turning and waving at Auron, who was waiting some distance away. "Did ya hear that? We're campin' out here!" he yelled gleefully.

That brought Auron stomping back down the path with a fierce look on his face. Rikku wasn't certain that he wouldn't just pick them up and toss them down the canyon. When he was close enough to speak, he addressed only Braska. "You wish to rest, my lord?"

"That's what he said, so that's what we're gonna do," Rikku piped in before Braska had a chance to reply. "No take-backs! We voted, fair and square!"

"Not exactly fair," Braska murmured with a glint of humor, but he gave Auron the tiniest of nods.

Auron looked as though he wanted to object; a quick glance over both her and Jecht's twin expressions of determination stopped him. Instead, he cast around, searching their surroundings, until he found what he was looking for.

"Over there," he said, pointing at a small shelter under one of the overhanging rocky outcrops.

"Alright! Lunch!" Jecht cheered, grabbing Braska by the arm and pulling him towards their temporary camp. Rikku didn't follow them, instead trying to form some words to say to Auron now that he was finally standing by her side. She cleared her throat. "About last night -"

"You'll need to provide the fire," Auron said, turning away from her. Her eyes followed him as he made his way towards the shelter. With a sigh, she stomped after him. _So he thinks he can just ignore me now, huh? Well, he's got another thing coming…_

Jecht had already cleared the snow away from the cold rock, and was lining a makeshift fire pit with the precious few scraps of tinder that they’d collected. He opened his mouth and then shut it again and backed away. Rikku couldn't blame him; she pointed at the fire pit with a little more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary. All three men ducked out of the way as the flame sprang to life with a blast. Once the smoke cleared and the hiss of rapidly melting snow died out, she coughed and dared the others to comment. Braska and Jecht decided to busy themselves with preparing a small meal, while Auron edged towards the entrance of the cave. Rikku’s head turned, tracking his movement.

"Oh, Auron!" she called out sweetly, her eyebrow twitching. "Where do you think you're going?"

Auron stiffened; he was not one to be cowed even with her temperamental display of magic. He faced her. "That fire will attract fiends. Someone needs to guard our camp." He froze when Rikku leapt to his side, grabbing onto his arm and clutching it.

"Great, I was just thinking that we needed to collect some supplies anyway." She dragged him away from the warmth of the fire, sparing a glance back at a bemused Jecht and significantly more amused-looking Braska. "We'll be back soon," she promised.

As soon as they were clear of the cave, Auron shook her arm off and shot her an irritable glance. "What are you doing?"

"I told you already," Rikku huffed, marching ahead of him. "Hunting for supplies." She heard his annoyed snort, and her frown softened. "I wanted to get you alone. I mean, don't you think we should talk?"

"Hnn," Auron answered, and Rikku had to stop herself from smacking him in frustration.

"Well, _I_ think we should talk," she continued. "Just because I'm related to Raenn doesn't mean anything's changed. Now I know this next one is gonna be hard for you to swallow," she added theatrically, "but I'm Braska's Guardian, just like you."

Auron cleared his throat, his gaze settling on her. Coming to a decision, he canted his head in her direction. "I never doubted it."

Rikku pulled up short, a smile threatening to break over her face. "So we're good?" she asked him.

In response, Auron drew his sword and brandished it at her.

Rikku squeaked and fumbled for her daggers. _Just how did I piss him off now?_

"Look out!" he growled, and all she had time to think was _What?_ before he dove at her and they went tumbling through the snow. A rush of air and the sound of snapping teeth flew over their heads, and when Rikku looked up, she was staring directly into a large, glassy yellow eye. Naturally, she did the first thing she could think of.

"Rikku!" Auron yelled, pulling her away from the fiend's snapping jaws as it roared in pain.

"Gotcha!" Rikku twisted out of Auron's grasp and tucked away the swirling bottle of pungent musk she had managed to pull out. "Don't kill it yet, I might be able to get another out of him," she instructed, pulling out her daggers as she sized up the angry fiend.

Auron, of course, responded by slashing his sword at the creature, which darted out of the way of his heavy blade. "Hey! I told you not to kiiii... uhh..." she trailed off as the creature's wings folded over its huge eye. Then, a blast of cold air knocked her over and she saw stars.

"Wow!" Rikku yelled, her eyes wide as the landscape swirled in psychedelic colors around her. _Is snow supposed to be orange?_ "I forgot he could do that," she mumbled, readying her daggers. A fuzzy, dark shape swam before her, and Rikku rushed at it, trying to drive her hand underneath its surface. _Pyreflies, only pyreflies,_ she told herself, willing her palm to part the evil eye's leathery skin.

Instead of passing cleanly underneath the surface of the fiend's body, Rikku's hand slapped against a hard, unyielding surface. The blob grunted, and then struck her across the forehead none-too-gently. Pain blossomed over her temples where she was hit, but it did serve to clear the stars from her vision. With a start, Rikku realized that she hadn't been reaching for the fiend at all, but rather Auron. She was, in fact, pressed up close against him, her hand stuck halfway down the front of his coat. The expression on his face could hardly be called _pleased._

"Get your hand out of there and hit that thing." He shoved her towards the floating eyeball circling around them.

"Yessir!" Rikku chirped, feeling intoxicated from the sudden close contact. If there was one thing she was thankful for, it was that the little fiend before them wasn't very strong, even if it was too quick for Auron to touch. She concentrated on harnessing her magic - a simple Fira was all it would take - and took aim. The spell flew from her hand, and the fiend was reduced to a rapidly-dissolving collection of pyreflies. Picking through the remains, she pocketed the dropped gil. Auron's presence loomed behind her; she looked over her shoulder and gave him a weak smile. "Umm... hi?" she giggled.

Auron glared at her with a thunderous expression and said nothing.

"Oh, alright," Rikku blurted out, reaching into her pocket with an exasperated sigh. She pulled out the small pouch of gil she had palmed and threw it back to Auron, a pout splashed across her face. "I would've put that to good use, you know."

"On more jewellery, no doubt," Auron said as he tucked his pouch of money away more securely - this time into the waistband of his pants, Rikku saw with a half-disappointed and half-intrigued glance. She made a mental note to reach low the next time she attempted to steal while confused.

"You should have killed the eye immediately."

"No way!" Rikku scrambled to her feet and displayed the items she managed to procure from their victim. "Look at all this stuff! If we're really gonna make it through the rest of this journey, we need a lot more supplies than we have right now. And don't tell me you're gonna buy them with that," she added, sending a significant glance towards Auron's trousers.

Auron frowned, but didn't contradict her. His brow furrowed, however. "And what if it had confused me? That won't be the last evil eye we see, especially if we remain standing here exposed like this."

Rikku's smile dropped and she tapped her chin with a finger. "I got it!" she said. "All you gotta do right now is guard me so I have the chance to steal some stuff. Just worry about blocking whatever the fiends might send my way, okay? And if you get confused or something, hit yourself with your sword! It's perfect!"

Auron stared at her in disbelief. "That's your solution?" he managed to say.

"Well, umm... yeah? What! You're the one wearing the armor," she pointed out. "And it's not like you'd wanna hit little ol' me with that big nasty sword of yours, right?"

Auron regarded her for another long moment before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Of course." Sarcasm colored his voice. "Though it would be a shame if I were to slip," he added.

Rikku gulped and decided to ignore him; a snow wolf had already poked its head over one of the drifts, attracted by the noise and color of the remaining pyreflies. "No more joking," she said as she flexed her palm and glared at the wolf. Auron faced the fiend, readying his sword. "Uhh..." She spared him a wary glance. "You _were_ joking, right?"

"Hurry up," Auron grumbled as the wolf rushed them.

**.x.x.x.**

"Wow, I'm all tuckered out," Rikku groaned, trudging through the snow. Auron grunted in silent agreement, quaffing a high-potion that she had managed to snitch from one of the fiends. "It was worth it, though." She patted the now-bulging pouches on her belt. "Thanks a lot," she added as an afterthought; with Auron guarding her, stealing from the fiends was a piece of cake. They made a good team, her quick reflexes complimenting his more carefully planned attacks. The physical exertion of the battles they fought had done much more to break down the barriers than any talk might have, and as they made their way back to the camp, the silence that settled between them wasn't uncomfortable.

"Rikku," Auron said, and while she cheered at his use of her real name, the tone in which he said it prompted her to remain silent. "I apologize for avoiding you earlier."

Rikku blinked. _Well, that was unexpected_. "Huh," she hummed in surprise, still not certain of what he was trying to say. "I guess I kinda understand. Some of the stuff Cid's done wasn't anything I'm proud of either."

"So... are you Raenn's younger sister?" he asked, stopping to look at her.

Tripping, Rikku caught herself on Auron’s conveniently situated back before she could go sprawling into the snow. That at least answered one question - Auron didn't know her family as well as he thought he did. She considered her options - she could lie... and open up the chance for Auron to mention something to Braska, who probably wasn't quite as ignorant of her family tree.

Or, she could tell the truth - a thought which was quickly discarded. If he didn't laugh at her outright, he'd probably be furious, especially if she was endangering Spira's future with her actions. Besides... how was she supposed to tell him that he was going to die and spend the next ten years in a personal purgatory of sorts? That kind of information could put a damper on anyone's outlook, and Auron was already pretty dour to start with.

“Making yourself comfortable?” Auron’s dry voice interrupted her mental chatter.

“Oh! Well, yeah, thanks!” Rikku said, releasing her tight grip around his waist.

She decided on obfuscation - it wasn't exactly lying, but it would relieve her of the burden of truth. "I'm not a part of that family anymore," she said, trying to make her voice sound as leaden as possible. It was pretty difficult, considering that she was still basking in the warmth of Auron’s presence. A small shiver of guilt plagued her when Auron looked away, buying into her little act. Of course, feeling guilty made acting guilty much more believable, so Rikku decided to wallow for a while longer, avoiding Auron's gaze as they approached the camp.

"I will say nothing," Auron said as the glow of the fire came into view. "But Braska is no fool. You may have to tell him yourself, eventually."

Rikku pursed her lips together; Braska was going to be a bigger problem than he realized. "I'll consider telling him when he starts talking to Jecht," she said. "Until then, Summoner or not, he's got no right to ask."

Auron nodded in agreement. "Very well, Rikkma," he said as they entered the cave. Jecht and Braska looked up from the fire at their entrance, and Rikku forced a bright smile onto her face.

" 'ey, you're back. We were wonderin' what happened to you two," Jecht called out, waving them in. "There's still a little food left, if ya want some."

"Mmm, yeah! But first, we got a little something for you guys, too!" Rikku reached into her pouch and passed a few bottles to each of her companions. "Here, an antidote just in case you step on something nasty, Jecht... oh, and I got some potions for you, Braska!" The men accepted their small bundles with identical expressions of surprise. She noted that Braska's pallor had not improved very much since the beginning of their rest. White magic could heal almost any physical injury, but there was little it could do to combat exhaustion.

Auron also seemed to share her assessment, seating himself on the ground near the fire and reaching for the small bowl of soup Jecht handed to him rather than harassing their companions to clear the camp. Rikku settled uneasily at his side; as she sipped at her soup, she snuck a few worried glances at Braska, wondering what could be done to help him. She ate as slowly as she could, considering her options, but all too soon the soup was finished and Auron was standing up.

"The temple is not too far ahead," he informed them, watching Braska. "If we start now, we may still manage to make it before nightfall." Behind his carefully worded demand, Rikku heard the concern - they had to leave immediately, or risk spending the evening exposed to the elements - something she was sure Braska would weather even worse than the strain of travelling.

Braska nodded in agreement, and once again Rikku found herself wishing that she had some kind of miracle cure to offer him, other than the few high-potions she’d snitched -

"That's it!" she yelled, shooting to her feet. Then she coughed, noticing the stares of the others. "Umm, I mean, can you guys take care of cleaning up the camp while I talk to Braska for a little bit?" She grabbed Braska and pushed him towards the snow. Auron arched an eyebrow at her, but she mouthed a hasty "Trust me!" to him as she ushered the Summoner outside.

"Rikkma?" Braska asked her as soon as they were clear of the others. "What is this about?" He frowned in confusion as Rikku pushed him even farther from the camp; she didn't want to risk Auron or Jecht seeing them, particularly since she wasn't certain she'd be able to control her reactions.

"Guarding you," Rikku answered, dropping her hand to the garment grid. The sphere gate glowed as she activated it, and then, crossing her daggers before her, she allowed the change take over. It was comforting and familiar, as though she was falling into herself, a confident smile threatening to burst from her lips. She heard Braska's sharp intake of breath as the light died away and opened one eye to regard him.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of that display?" Braska asked, his smile broadening.

Rikku winked at him and flipped a braid over her shoulder, stashing away her machine gun. "You know you love it," she quipped, rooting through her pouches for the potions she had collected earlier. "I had this totally brilliant idea, but I didn't want the others to see me like this. You know Auron, he'd probably flip."

"The last time you wore that outfit, it wasn't Auron who was doing the attacking," Braska observed, still keeping a wary eye on her.

Rikku ignored him. "Alright, so maybe it was me. Still... I don't want Jecht to see me like this either. Just think of all the jokes he'd make!"

"I doubt Jecht would be in the mood to jest while you were pointing your gun at him," Braska replied, though he seemed relieved that the Alchemist dressphere hadn't ruined Rikku's good humor. "I still don't understand what you’re doing," he added, watching as she mixed the contents of one vial with another and shook the concoction furiously.

"I'm gonna hit you with something that'll help," Rikku said, holding up the glowing, volatile potion she had mixed together as Braska's eyes widened. "Hold still, you'll feel better in a second!"

"Rikkma, I don't think that's a good idea -" Braska's protest was cut short as Rikku ignored his words and flung the vial at him instead. It shattered with a small pop against his chest, and he began to glow. "What in Yevon's name!" he managed to gasp as the light engulfed his body, flashing once before winking out and leaving his robes dry.

Rikku lowered her hand from where she had raised it to protect her face. "Double high-potion mix," she explained as Braska looked up from his hands, his cheeks flushed with surprise. Already, the color was returning to his face; he straightened and took in his surroundings with renewed vigor.

"Guaranteed to make you feel good, at least for a little while," she told him. "It'll probably wear off before the end of the day, but at least you'll be able to make it to the temple. It's not harmful, trust me," she assured him.

Braska smiled at her, for once holding onto his staff firmly rather than using it as a crutch. "I do feel much better," he admitted. "I wonder how you'll explain this to Auron and Jecht, though. I hardly think they'd approve of you using me as your test subject."

"Hey, it's not a test!" Rikku protested, shouldering her gun. "I've used that mix on myself when I needed a pick-me-up lotsa times!" Glancing back in the direction of the camp, she frowned. "Though, uh, maybe you don't have to tell 'em, right?" She shook her head and returned her gaze to Braska, giving him a confident smile. "Naw... I'm sure Auron can figure me better than that by now. He knows I wouldn't poison you."

The smile on Braska's face faltered, dimming into something less open. "Ah," he said. "Wonderful... I'm glad that you managed to smooth over your differences." Rikku winced; Braska didn't _look_ like he thought it was wonderful. She sensed his uneasiness, but the last thing she needed was to have her uncle become even more interested in her than he already was. Auron might believe that she was Raenn's sister, but if Braska grew curious, he’d be harder to throw him off the scent. Still, she felt guilty about ignoring his feelings - their journey was difficult enough as it was.

"We should get back to the others," Rikku told him, her hand hovering over the garment grid. She stopped, interrupted by a loud chitter that echoed through the snowy field. "... that wasn't you, was it?"

Braska's mouth tightened into a thin line. "Rikkma, turn around. Slowly," he whispered, holding his staff out. "Try not to make any noise."

Rikku never was good at following instructions. She whirled around, fully intending to blast the fiend who interrupted them with her machine gun. Her mouth fell open as she spotted the sleek, gleaming body of the insect that approached from over the hillside, one thought flashing to the forefront of her mind - _but this isn't the Monster Arena!_

"I've never seen a fiend that large before," Braska said, casting a protective shell over her.

The Espada halted its advance, taking in its prey with beady, intelligent eyes.

Rikku’s gun waved; a sheen of sweat broke over her forehead. "We are in deep pickles!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: rewrote the chapter, but no major plot changes.
> 
> Battle abilities used:  
> Alchemist [Mix]: Vitality - double one ally’s max HP


	16. A Quick Battle

"What in Yevon's name _is_ that thing?" Braska asked between breaths, casting another protective spell over Rikku. The vitality booster was coming in handy; it was lucky that she hit him with it before the creature came into view. The only Espada she’d ever fought before had possessed incredible speed. If this fiend was anything like that one, then she and Braska would need every bit of assistance they could scrounge up.

"It's called an Espada, and..." Rikku squinted at the huge insect, "it's... slower than the one I fought." _I guess it's because of all the snow._ Still – what was it doing _here_? She'd always thought the terrible creatures they faced in the Monster Arena were the result of the caretaker's mad breeding techniques. Apparently some of them were natural occurrences. The Espada chittered and advanced.

Rikku swallowed. "Braska... umm, maybe you wanna start summoning? Like, _right now_?" She edged away from him, figuring two targets were better than one.

Only fuzzy memories remained of her arena battle with the supposedly tame one. She spent most of her time during _that_ fight unconscious, being brought back from the brink of death by phoenix downs. In the end, Kimahri felled the beast with one of his special attacks. The rest of team had already been knocked down by the hellishly quick creature, and the victory felt more like a lucky close call.

This time, there would be no spear-wielding Ronso to save the day if they were knocked out. The only one who could deal any serious damage to the insect's tough shell was Auron, with his armor-piercing sword – but he was much too slow to reach the thing, even if it was hindered by the chill.

Braska chose to forgo his questions and began dancing. The movement aggravated the Espada, which made a gravity-defying leap to land in front of them.

Rikku yelled and fired at the fiend. "Hey, ugly! Your fight's with me!" The Espada swung around, and Rikku’s knees buckled. "Uh, yeah!" she said, her voice high with panic. "Braska!" Her words cut off into a shriek as a claw scythed out towards her. "Now would be a good time!” She ducked and scrambled backwards, sending powdery snow flying everywhere.

Braska didn’t respond, and the monstrous creature reared before her. Rikku shrunk back in horror.

An earth-shaking roar parted the clouds in a swirl of color. Bahamut swept down from the sky like an arrow. He slammed into the back of the rearing Espada, pinning it down. The noise of their scuffle was deafening.

Braska took no notice of Rikku’s return to his side; he was frozen in concentration. They were too close to the battle; a shower of snow blasted over them. In desperation, Rikku stepped in front of Braska. Despite her efforts, the Summoner’s concentration wavered, enabling the fiend to score a heavy slash against the dragon.

Freeing itself from Bahamut's grip, the Espada skittered out of range. Its once- smooth shell was marred by jagged slashes where the aeon’s claws had injured it. Rikku heard a faint whisper of the Farplane leaking from the wounds.

 _What?_ she thought, confused by the hypnotic whistle. _I know that sound..._ Deactivating her dressphere, she returned to her normal outfit.

" _The hell is that thing?_ "

Jecht’s shout caught Rikku’s attention; he sprinted towards her, sword out. "We leave you alone for two minutes, and this is what you cook up?"

"Shut up! I didn’t invite _that_ over for lunch!”

“Watch out!” he shouted.

Rikku spun only to see Bahamut’s tail hurtling towards them. The sudden impact sent them flying. She landed face-first in the snow, a good distance away from the fight. Nearby, Braska groaned, signalling the end of his Rapture. Rikku’s heart sank as she watched Bahamut's scaled hide turn glossy, dissolving into pyreflies.

Disoriented by the sudden loss of its opponent, the Espada chittered angrily. Taking advantage of the creature’s confusion, Auron made his entrance with a forceful blow to its back. Dark blood splattered everywhere as the creature squealed in surprise. Writhing, it searched for the cause of its pain.

"Duck!" Auron couldn’t dodge a Death Claw; Rikku dashed forward to distract the Espada. Nothing could stop the fiend’s magic attack from slaying its foes if it landed. She aimed for the creature’s wounded back, but as she approached, time slowed down.

The whistling in the air grew louder, and through the black ichor spreading across the insect's back, Rikku could make out small flashes of light. _Change of plans_ , she thought as she came closer, closer now, close enough to touch it. Unable to help herself, Rikku reached for its shell, which rippled beneath her fingertips. Her hand delved down into the creature's soul. The sound of the wind was too loud, millions of pyreflies screaming in anguish. She closed her hand around that anguish and _pulled_ –

"Rikkma!" Auron yelled into her ear, and Rikku came to her senses, her hand still tightly closed. He dragged her towards the others. "What happened?"

"I... I don't know," Rikku answered, opening her fist. A few swirls of black mist danced in her palm, emitting faint strains of sound. "A piece of the Farplane," she whispered in awe. _So hypnotising…_

"Stay focused!” Auron commanded.

Shaking her head, Rikku trapped the murky swirls of smoke in an empty vial. "We can't defeat an Espada by ourselves. Let’s run!"

"What are its weaknesses?" Auron herded them away from the convulsing fiend.

"None that I know of," Rikku admitted. "It's super-fast, though, and if it scratches you, you’ll be a goner."

Jecht bared his teeth. "So whadda we do?"

"You're asking me?" Rikku squeaked. "I point, you punch!"

Auron kept his eyes trained on the confused Espada as he joined Braska. "Are you injured?"

Staggering, Braska took Auron’s outstretched hand and found his balance. "Sorry I failed you." His mouth set in a grim line. "But I can still fight."

“Oh great - it’s regenerating already!” Rikku said in dismay. “It’s got a tough hide - we’ve gotta hit it while it’s still injured!”

"I'll reopen those wounds," Auron said, but Rikku held him back.

"You can’t," she warned. "You’re too slow."

"So it’s up to us?" Jecht looked at his sword and shook his head in disbelief.

The Espada was recovering from its confusion and starting to trail after them; Rikku reached for the first spell she could find – _Thundaga, of course_ – and threw it in the mad hope of delaying the fiend’s approach. "Less talk, more fight!"

"Oh, I'll fight." Jecht planted his sword into the ground and mashed his thumb and forefingers into a triangle. A flare of white magic surrounded him as he let the spell fly. “ _Score!_ ” He grabbed his sword with a mad cackle of delight, eager to strike.

Rikku raced after him, feeling a tingle of hope - or maybe that was just the Haste spell Braska was casting on them both - fill her. She’d recognized the magic Jecht used - a Slow spell. _Maybe we can actually beat this thing!_

Her euphoria died out as they engaged the fiend; Jecht’s slashes were energetic, but he lacked Auron’s experience. Ducking and slashing with her daggers, she watched him use the broad side of his massive sword to bat away the Espada’s claw. "You're supposed to stick it with the pointy end!" she yelled, dodging another of the fiend’s swipes.

"You try -" Jecht puffed, parrying another thrust, "- hitting this thing!"

Rikku smirked; half the battle was attitude, right? "I'll show you how it's done!" She darted between two of the creature's legs and dug her daggers into the weaker segment of an exposed joint. The Espada let out a screech of pain and whirled upon her, faster than she could see it move. Deadly black claws descended and Rikku threw herself back.

One claw grazed her torso, and black spots burst before her eyes. Rikku’s rapid descent towards unconsciousness stopped with a violent pull; as her head cleared a few stray tufts of phoenix down dissipated.

“Up and at ‘em!” Jecht yelled, swinging his sword at one of the Espada’s legs.

Rikku launched herself into motion; she’d already learned the hard way that Espadas were attracted to phoenix downs like moths to a flame. Rolling across the ground, she escaped a repeat performance of the knockout.

"Holy moley!" Rikku leapt to her feet only to narrowly miss being impaled by another one of the creature's legs. _This is definitely not the way to recover from a near-death experience!_ "Jecht! Do something!"

"I'm tryin'!" He was still hacking at the Espada's legs; all the speed in the world couldn’t compete with Jecht’s lack of skill. After a few futile attempts to distract the creature with his wild swings, Jecht cursed and simply hurled his sword as though it was a blitzball.

The sword whizzed over her head; she was showered with odourless goo as two of the fiend’s severed legs collapsed at her side. Seizing the opportunity, Rikku wriggled her way out of the squealing insect’s range.

"Strike!" Jecht crowed.

" _You idiot!_ " Rikku replied, her hand snaking out to pull Jecht back towards Braska and Auron in a hasty retreat. Behind her, the Espada's shrieks died out; its legs were probably already regenerating.

A much-needed healing spell washed over Rikku. "We saw what happened," Braska said with worry. "Are you all right?"

"For the moment," Rikku wheezed. She faced Jecht. "I _told_ you this thing had a tough hide! Only you or Auron can even _think_ about piercing it with your swords, and Auron's way too slow!" This earned her a grunt of annoyance from Auron. "You just threw your own sword away! What are we gonna do now?"

“Retreat?” Braska said, picking up his robes and running from the battle. Rikku and Jecht followed, while Auron lingered at the rear as a guard.

"If we live," he huffed to Jecht as they ran, "we're going to have a lesson on proper grip!"

Jecht grimaced. "I threw it on purpose!”

Rikku stopped and turned around. Raising her hands, she tapped into the power of the Conflagration grid. Investing as much mana as she could into a Blizzaga spell, she created a wall of ice between their group and the enraged fiend. “That’s not gonna hold,” she declared, launching into a second spell.

“Are you tellin' me I shouldn’t have saved you?” Jecht growled, catching his breath. “Don't know if you followed, Blondie, but that overgrown bug nearly killed you."

“And I’m grateful, but now you’re out a sword and that thing’s still coming for us!” Rikku groaned; they were running out of options, and not even her dresspheres could help them out of this one.

"We need a strategy," Braska said as the Espada scrabbled at the icy barrier, its murderous chittering rising in volume.

"Well, you _could_ let me throw Auron's sword at it too," Jecht said.

Auron’s grunt was unamused. He held his sword out as the barrier shuddered; a web of cracks spread through it. “The rest of you keep moving,” he said. “I’ll hold it here.”

“Hell naw!” Jecht cast a Scan spell. “No fair takin’ all the glory, man. It’s still injured, them legs I chopped off ain’t back yet. Let’s make a comeback in the second half!”

 _Hit it with everything we got_ , Rikku thought as she cast again, restrengthening the barrier. _Auron really is our only option left to hurt it, but I’m the only one fast enough to hit it. So if he’s too slow, then…_

“Somebody Haste Auron!" Rikku yelled as she leapt onto her target.

Surprised, Auron staggered and tried to shove away the questing fingers that reached inside of his coat.

"Rikkma!" he bellowed.

 _Reach low_ , she thought determinedly.

"I know you think we're all gonna die, Blondie, but this ain't really the time to be fillin' those last requests," Jecht said.

Ignoring them both, Rikku continued her search under the waistband of Auron's trousers. " _Ah-ha!_ " she yelled, her fingers closing around the sack of gil they'd collected earlier and pulling it out. Dancing away, she hooked the pouch around her own belt and stuffed as many coins as she could into her palms.

Her three companions stared with varying degrees of disbelief, the heat of the battle momentarily forgotten. _Oh well_ , she thought. It wasn't often that anyone dove into Auron's pants and lived to tell the tale. She'd just have to make sure she didn’t fall victim to friendly fire. “Did you Haste him?” she asked, as the sound of splintering ice echoed over the field.

"Ah... yes, yes I did," Braska answered her.

She spread clumps of coins between her fingers and lifted her hands. The Espada stopped after clearing the icy rubble, staggering on its uneven legs. Regaining its balance, it scrabbled down the snow bank.

"Your plan?" Auron demanded, readying his sword.

"Hit him with everything you got when he's distracted." Rikku lifted her arms, sweating as she took aim. It'd been awhile since she'd _literally_ thrown money away like this; wasting cash pained her to the bone. But, she thought with a mental sob, dead Summoner's entourages didn't need to eat, either. "Rush him now!" She spun and flicked her fingers out, letting the coins fly.

The money whizzed towards the Espada with a low whistle; the small size of the coins, coupled with their disproportionate weight allowed Rikku to launch them much faster than any dagger. Even a coin, when tossed just so, could be a formidable weapon; when there was more than one, they could be deadly. She reached back into the pouch and sent another spray flying without hesitation. They arced towards their target, creating a dangerous tapestry of thin golden threads.

Auron ran, closing the distance between himself and the fiend. The projectiles had their desired effect; though more than a few missed the mark, they still confused the Espada and created enough cover for Auron to break through its defense.

He charged in from the fiend’s weakened side, avoiding the flailing stumps as he leapt. With a lithe twist, he brought his sword down on the creature’s back, ramming the weapon into the wounds Bahamut had inflicted. The sound of chitin breaking filled the air as his heavy sword caught, tearing its victim open like a fish being gutted.

The piercing scream of the Espada echoed across the snowy canyon one last time, and then pyreflies erupted everywhere. Rikku sank to her knees, too exhausted to appreciate the lightshow drifting towards them. Soon, only bruises and the mournful echo of pyreflies remained.

Braska followed suit when the last pyrefly disappeared, and even Jecht fell backwards, breathing heavily.

Rikku’s trip down from her adrenaline-induced battle high was fast and painful. "Holy chocobos," she gasped. "I really thought we were gonna buy it there!"

"We won't be _buying_ anything in the near future." Auron trudged towards them. His eyes fixed on the ripped, discarded pouch that lay next to Rikku. Only a few coins remained, even less than they had started out with before their hunting and gathering session. Rikku winced.

"Sorry," she mumbled, waiting for Auron's inevitable explosion. When none was forthcoming, she cracked an eye open and glanced up at him.

He was still staring at the pouch with an unreadable expression. Finally, he leaned over and scooped it off of the ground, making a quick note of the coins remaining in the bag. Noticing Rikku's scrutiny, he gave her a miniscule shrug. "This pouch wasn’t used to carrying much money anyway."

Braska looked up with an expression of mock surprise. "Why Auron. Are you implying that I might be financially disadvantaged?"

“I’m not implying anything,” Auron answered, seating himself next to Rikku. “We are now poorer than Jecht’s education.”

“Heard that,” Jecht mumbled from his position on the ground.

"Sorry. I meant to say we are fortunate that you have such extensive experience living frugally, my lord.” Auron smirked.

"Now see, why can Auron get away with callin' you cheap when he’s the real tightwad? You should be bustin’ his balls, not mine!" Jecht protested, sitting up.

"Auron's abilities afford him a measure of tolerance that I'm afraid you haven't earned yet," Braska replied amicably. "When did you learn to cast time magic, and just where _is_ your sword right now, Jecht?"

"I’m a pro blitzer. We all got our tricks. Helps with the game! Damned if I know what happened to the sword, though.”

“Your sword should be an extension of yourself,” Auron growled. “And it should be somewhere over that hill,” he added, pointing back towards the canyon.

Jecht waved a lazy hand across the field. "I'm too tuckered out to get it right now." Then he brightened. "But whadda ya know, my ass ain't turnin' blue from the cold anymore!"

“Good,” Auron said. “Then you’ll feel it when I beat it.” He made a motion as if to stand.

“Alright! Chill the hell out, Stiff, I’m gettin’ it already!” Jecht sat up unwillingly, moving at a glacial rate.

Rikku covered her face, still trying to believe the conversation she was hearing. _These three don’t seem all that legendary._ Auron cleared his throat, and Rikku peered at him through her fingers.

"Though this was an unexpected battle," Auron began, "we prevailed in the end. That wouldn’t have been possible without your help, Rikkma." He paused, letting the words sink in. "You did well today.”

Rikku couldn’t help the smile that bubbled to the surface; Auron’s words cloaked her like a gentle caress. Well, a gentle caress for Auron. Which was more like a brutal slap on the back from anyone else. But Rikku wasn't complaining – after all, a pat on the back was better than nothing, coming from the legendary Guardian of Grumpiness himself.

“If you glow any brighter you’re gonna start meltin’ the snow,” Jecht observed, and Auron shifted uncomfortably. Rikku ignored them and continued to beam her thousand-watt smile towards its instigator.

 _Auron said I did good. Auron thanked me!_ Well, sorta. In her head, Rikku was doing handsprings through the snow. Her body was not feeling quite as cooperative, though; after a few moments of hopeful twitching, she managed to bump her shoulder against Auron’s side. ”Glad to help," she said through her grin, noting with amusement that Auron refused to look at her.

In fact, he was hyper-aware of the keen observation of Braska and Jecht, and rose to his feet. "Fiends attract fiends.” He dusted some snow off of his coat. “We need to move out before any more unpleasant surprises occur.”

A collective groan rose from the others, and Rikku pouted as she stood, sticking her tongue out at Auron's back. Jecht snickered, and Auron stiffened.

"Stop making those faces, Rikkma.”

Rikku froze, tongue still extended. _How does he do that?_ On a whim, she reached down and gathered the snow at her feet into a compact ball, tossing it at the back of Auron's head. It hit with a wet plop, and silence settled among the group. Nobody _threw snowballs_ at Auron. He just wasn’t the snowball-fight type. In fact, it was something of a wonder - or a clue to how tired he was - that Auron didn't turn around and cleave the offending snowball in half for daring to approach him. He turned slowly, a menacing glint in his eye.

"What was that for?"

Rikku crossed her arms and shrugged. After staring down an Espada, death glares from exhausted Guardians just didn't cut it anymore. "Chill out a little," she replied with a brazen wink. "I heard snow helps with that."

Auron glowered at her, then dropped his shoulders. "Be thankful I'm in no mood to respond to that attack right now," he grumbled.

Braska chuckled, moving to Rikku’s side. "I think you've finally broken him, Rikkma. Auron just admitted that he may be willing to participate in a snowball fight."

"Humph," Auron grunted as he turned away and started walking. "Who said anything about snow?"

Braska's smile widened and he nudged Rikku, eliciting a giggle from her. Even Jecht was grinning as he sidled up to Auron and threw his arm across the other man’s shoulders, whispering something into his ear. Whatever he said earned him a disgusted sigh; Auron all but shoved Jecht down the hill towards the missing sword.

Rikku trailed after them, feeling lighter somehow. "Click," she said, trying to bank her smile. She could feel it happening; they all could. It kept the grin on Braska's face, the lewd jokes spewing from Jecht, and stayed the tense set of Auron's shoulders. And, it filled them with enough energy to complete the last leg of their journey to Macalania’s temple.

They were a _group_ now, not just a motley collection of warriors thrown together by fate or circumstance. They were becoming something like _friends_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/16: Rewrote … everything. Seriously. Over 2,000 words were cut from this chapter, and yet it has new content.
> 
> Battle abilities in this chapter:  
> Death Claw [Espada]: instant K.O. if it hits  
> Spare Change [Rikku]: every 10 gil inflicts 1 point of special damage
> 
> Interesting to note, Spare Change is a special of the Samurai dressphere in FFX-2. I guess Auron learned something here today. ;-)


	17. Bartering

"Jecht! Stop staring!" Rikku planted her elbow into his side.

With a wheeze, Jecht tore his eyes away from the frosty Guado standing at attention near the temple doors. Auron grunted his disapproval at their behavior, and Rikku stilled, drawing the hood of her threadbare cloak closer.

For once, Jecht seemed inclined to do the same and kept his usual antics to a minimum. That probably had less to do with their Guado guard or even Auron's stern eye. It was Macalania Temple itself which inspired a feeling of gravity in its visitors. Not that there was anyone else to impress – apart from the clergy who maintained the temple, the only other people Rikku saw were the stern Guado guards.

The atmosphere was quiet but for the ever-present Hymn and the soft ringing of the ice surrounding them – and even that was muted by heavy velvet banners of Yevon decorating the crystalline walls.

"You would do well not to antagonize the Guado," Auron murmured once they were out of the guard's range. "They’ve only been initiated into the church recently. There are still many disbelievers among them and they're extremely secretive. They prefer to keep the details of their culture and settlements to themselves, and they look upon outsiders with suspicion."

"In other words, even if they're guardin' the place, the Church don't trust 'em yet, right?" Jecht crossed his arms.

"And neither should we," Auron replied. "Don't go looking for trouble, because this is one place you're likely to find it."

Rikku made a face at Auron's choice of words, but bit her tongue and kept her opinions to herself. He was right, after all - the Guado of this time were still a proud, hostile people whose greatest amount of contact with the rest of Spira was relegated to their Blitzball team. That they were allowed to guard the temple at all was a surprising concession on the part of the Yevonites, and a testament to Lord Jyscal's powerful influence over his own people. Seymour's father was not yet a Maester, Rikku knew, but he’d already married into humanity and adopted Yevon's teachings as his own. Judging from the guards' attitudes, she could only wonder at the reaction _that_ must have caused among their tightly-knit community.

"You should not say such things, Auron," Braska interrupted, giving Auron a reproving look. "The Guado are doing their best to understand us, and it is only fair that we observe the same courtesy."

"Yes, Lord Braska, forgive me." Auron looked uncomfortable and as convinced of the Guado's good intentions as Rikku felt. She wondered how Braska could turn a blind eye to the other race's obvious hostility.

"They don't look like they're tryin' too hard to me," Jecht said. "Did you see the look that one twisty-haired feller gave us when we came in? I thought he was gonna stick us with his pike just for showin' up!"

"They _all_ have twisty hair, Jecht."

Jecht snorted. "An' they all gave us that look, too. Especially you, Blondie. If it weren't for Sin, I'm guessin' your people would be winnin' the competition for Spira's Most Unpopular." His look softened and his tone became somewhat less belligerent. "Don't it bug you sometimes?"

 _Not just sometimes,_ Rikku thought, tightening her grip on her cloak. She opened her mouth to make a glib reply, but stopped short when she caught sight of Auron. Was he _watching_ her? _What for?_ It wasn't like Jecht made a particularly ground-breaking observation there. Rikku shrugged. "You get used to it," she said.

"You should not have to," Braska murmured, killing Rikku’s chance to divert the unpleasant conversation into a more light-hearted direction. An uncomfortable silence followed, one that was made heavier by the stillness of the temple.

Rikku suppressed a flinch, her eyes darting to the center of the room - the place where Yuna and her team had confronted both Seymour and the warped remainder of his mother. _This will always be the place where we first killed more than just a fiend – where everything started going wrong, even worse than it was before._ It didn't matter that Seymour had been trying to kill them, that Yevon's religion was as warped and twisted as Anima, or even that the act itself wouldn't occur for another decade. To Rikku, the very stones of the floor oozed guilty memories.

"I'm being paranoid," Rikku mumbled, trying to hide within the folds of her cloak.

"Whatever," Jecht said. "I still think these Guado guys make the guards back in Bevelle look like amateurs." He took another look around the nearly-empty temple. "Why are we the only ones here, anyway? Those guards scarin' all the other visitors away?"

"Well..." Braska said, "In a manner of speaking, yes. The remote location of this particular temple, coupled with the oddity of the new Guado initiates has made Macalania one of the least popular stops of any Pilgrimage. The Summoners that do venture here generally prefer not to linger."

The slight undercurrent of anger in Braska's tone caused Rikku more surprise that she had expected; it wasn't really _that_ odd to discover that her uncle felt strongly about more than just the Al Bhed cause. That he would defend the xenophobic Guado annoyed Rikku, and, on a much deeper level than she would've liked to admit, made her feel even more guilty.

 _Why does he have to be so_ **_good_ ** _all the time?_ Rikku thought with frustration. She glanced at Braska to see Auron reaching out to rest his hand on the Summoner's back.

"You alone cannot change the way an entire people think. Especially not when they..." he inclined his head back towards the guards, "do not want or even welcome your assistance."

Braska's jaw twitched, and then his shoulders dropped as he let out an audible breath. "I know," he replied, sounding tired. “I have already tried, after all.”

"Then concentrate on fulfilling your own duty and leave the philosophical questions for others," Auron replied, pushing Braska towards the door to the inner sanctum. "Maybe one day the tension with the Guado will disappear. Today is not that day. Your only task now is to gain the power of the Fayth. Let the Guado take care of Guado problems."

Braska straightened, wiping away his disappointment and settling his face into a passive mask. "You are right, of course. Come, let us make our way to the Cloister of Trials." He lead them up the steps towards the heavy double doors, and with a perfunctory nod to the priest, passed through.

The temperature of the room behind the doors was frigid. Rikku watched the plume of her white breath rise in front of her when she sighed. “And here I was getting used to feeling my toes again.”

"Whoa..." Jecht stared at the snow-covered platform they’d stepped onto. "This ain't anything like that other place! It’s kinda like bein’ outside, huh? So... what're we supposed to do here?"

A very relevant question, Rikku had to admit; apart from a few large snow drifts scattered around the platform, the Cloister presented few clues as to where to begin.

"Well... I suppose we could start with that," Braska said, pointing his staff at one glowing sphere set into the niche of a tall column. Auron strode forward before anyone else could and faced the group.

"Allow me to handle the spheres. We still don't know what the nature of the trial that awaits us will be." He turned his attention to Rikku and lifted an eyebrow. "Will you be so kind as to assist me, Rikkma?"

Rikku peered at Auron from under the shadows of her hood. "Hey, why me? Why not ask Jecht?"

“Ask Jecht for help?" Auron repeated, his gaze shifting to the man. Jecht looked up from where he was squatting, as he carefully placed his weapon on the snow.

"You talkin' to me or about me?" Jecht asked, straightening up and testing the sword with a pink-booted foot. Seeing the others' incredulous looks, he scratched the back of his head. " ‘Sup?"

"What the heck are you doing?" Rikku asked for everyone else.

"Oh, this?" Jecht looked back down at his sword. "Snow-swordin'! What else?" His smile dropped when Auron's glare intensified. "What? It's not like the Stiff over there is gonna ask _me_ for help. Might as well have a little fun, right?"

"... _right_ ," Auron finished for him, turning a smug eye back towards Rikku.

"Auron, please. It might actually be enjoyable to unlock the puzzle this time." Braska smiled helpfully.

"It's too dangerous," Auron said, and Rikku resisted the urge to smack her forehead. It wasn't that she _wanted_ to slow down their progress… _I just hate this temple._ It felt a little unfair, too - when it came to the Cloister of Trials, Rikku was a walking cheat sheet. She huffed; even if Braska was destined to obtain every last aeon, that didn't mean she was going to make it any easier for him.

"Oh, come off it, Auron!" Rikku said, exasperated. "It's not like Braska's gonna break if he does a little work. Besides, isn't this supposed to test a Summoning party's worthiness to receive the aeon? Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I always figured the Summoner was the most important part of that party."

Auron's scowl deepened as a grateful smile appeared on Braska's face. "Thank you for your support, Rikkma," Braska said. "Now if only Auron could have your faith in me as well..."

 _Ouch,_ Rikku thought as she smirked at Auron. Braska really knew how to hit below the belt.

Auron grimaced and then sighed. "Fine. You may accompany us, Lord Braska, but stand back and don't touch the spheres until we've determined they're safe." He turned towards the pillar and stopped again with a distinct look of impatience at Rikku's obvious hesitation.

"Umm, actually, why don't you two try it by yourselves? I've got something I need to do over here," she said.

"Yeah! Get Auron to lend you his blade!" Jecht hollered as he sailed by, balancing expertly on his sword. He twisted to a stop next to her.

"Jecht," Rikku sang as she felt Auron glowering at them both. "You're not helping! Go... _swordboard_ over there." She shooed him away. Getting moral support from Jecht was too much like painting a bull's-eye on your back.

"And no, I don't wanna slack off just to screw around," Rikku added, fishing out her supply pouch and dangling it in front of Auron’s nose. "I wanna check out the loot we collected during our break. I need a little _alone space_ to do it, and I think you guys are gonna be busy, right?" She tried her best to ignore Auron's disapproval. Braska came to her rescue.

"Auron, let Rikkma stay behind this time. She must be weary from our travels, and I for one am looking forward to this challenge." His tone was soft, but the command was clear. "I am sure we can manage this one by ourselves."

"Hnn," Auron said. "Very well. Stay alert and keep an eye on Jecht. If the need for battle arises, I expect both of you to be prepared." He paused, and Rikku wondered why he hadn't dragged Braska off towards the pillar. Then she watched with surprise as he reached into his coat and flung a tattered pouch at her. Catching it, she heard the familiar jingle of coin in her hands.

"You're trusting me with the money?" Rikku blurted out before she could stop herself.

Auron's lips twitched with a hint of humor. "You might as well count it while you're tallying our inventory," he told her. "Besides, I haven't seen very many places for you to waste it here." The smile dropped off and a more familiar expression of annoyance returned as Auron regarded the pillar with the sphere. "Let's get to it," he told Braska, who nodded.

"Auron," Rikku called out before he walked away. She beckoned him closer, ignoring his look of confusion. "I'm real sorry I can't help out this time," she said, and then lowered her voice when Braska glanced their way. "... but if you find another one of those... y'know... _pink_ spheres, maybe you could give it to me before Braska sees it."

Auron's eyes widened in understanding. "You... you believe we’ll find another one here," he murmured, and Rikku tried to tell herself it was the cold that made her shiver then.

"I'm just saying _in case_ you find one," Rikku replied, feeling her guilt once more.

Auron stared at her, and Rikku fidgeted.

"No. You’re _certain_ we'll find one," he stated. "You want me to protect Braska. How do you know of these spheres and what they are doing _here,_ in the _Temple_?"

Rikku swallowed. "Braska's starting to wonder what the hold-up is," she told him, meeting his flinty gaze. "Keep this up and you'll be hand-feeding Jecht even more material to throw at us. Or am I really that fascinating?" She batted her eyelashes at him.

"Fascinating isn't the first word I'd choose," Auron replied, but he did back away. "One of these days you won't be able to slip by my questions. I'll do as you ask for now. For Braska's sake. But I warn you, my patience isn’t infinite."

"Grumpy," Rikku muttered as he stomped away, wondering what explanation he gave to Braska, who was now watching them with interest. Well, there was nothing she could do about Auron's suspicions at the moment, and besides - what she told him hadn't been a complete lie.

After stomping on the snow to pack it, Rikku settled on the ground and dumped the contents of her pouch out before her. Despite all the back-breaking teamwork between herself and Auron on the snowfields, their supply of items was still meager. There were a few gems in the assortment of goods they'd managed to win or steal from fiends since the start of their journey - the crowning one being the small bottle of swirling, black wind from the Espada. Rikku put that away first, unwilling to let the Farplane Wind throw her into another strange trance. It was much too precious to waste on what she had in mind, anyway. She sorted through the remaining goods and frowned at the results.

"A few potions... fine... a couple of hi-potions... those will come in handy," she noted, tucking them away. "Hmm... hey, we actually have ethers!" Rikku squealed with delight. She counted them and then frowned, placing the vials aside. Stabbing her finger into the snow, she drew a careful circle around them. "Let's see what else we’ve got," she continued, grabbing a few more items. "Fish scales... fish scales... and more fish scales. Geez, these things are worthless!"

She threw the small handful into the circle, and then sifted through the remaining glass vials. "Maybe this isn't so bad… some musk, a couple of hypello potions... is that an arctic wind?" Her eyes lit with glee as one small marble rolled away from the rest of the items, crackling with energy. "A lightning marble! Somebody up there loves me!" She picked up the tiny bead and kissing it, wincing as it shocked her on the lips.

Once the rest of the items were either packed away in her bags or sorted into what Rikku was starting to call her "magic circle," she reached into her travel pack and laid out the real reasons she had asked to stay behind.

The metal glinted against the white snow, practically screaming with potential at her. Rikku grinned and fingered the silver necklace, the one she had whittled into the shape of Jecht's tattoo. "Alright! It’s tinker time!”

Pulling a few tools out of her belt, she squinted in concentration and began to work, falling into the single-minded trance required of any skilled Al Bhed synthesist.

In what seemed like moments later, a shadow fell over her, and Rikku hissed in irritation. "You're blocking my light," she grumbled. When the shadow refused to move, Rikku grunted and pushed her bangs away from her eyes, searching for the source of her distraction. She did a double-take as she noticed Auron's quizzical expression. "What the... hey, I thought you and Braska were gonna solve the Trials! Why're you back already? What gives?"

"I told ya, she's been like that for a while now." Rikku whipped her head around, finally noticing Jecht, who was sitting cross-legged behind her rather than sledding across the snow on his sword. From his bored expression and the way his chin was planted into his palm, it seemed like he’d been there for a while. "At first I thought she was havin' one of them seizures, but I don't think she could be weldin' like that if she wasn't all here."

"Welding?" Auron lifted an eyebrow.

Rikku blinked. "Huh? Oh, this is just a little something I carry around with me," she explained, waving the small tool in her hand. "I picked it up in Bevelle! It's not up to Al Bhed standards, but it'll do in a pinch."

"Do what?" Auron asked.

"Solder, dummy. It _is_ a soldering iron," she replied with a smirk. It was getting a bit easier to orient herself; from the crick in her neck and the uncomfortable damp of melted snow under her butt, Rikku figured that she’d lost track of more time than she thought during her work. She stretched, taking in her surroundings and noting with some approval that Auron and Braska had managed to make progress - if the shifting locations of the various ice pillars and snow drifts were any indication of success. "Hey, where's Braska?"

"Braska is on the lower level of this puzzle chamber, piecing together our next step." As he spoke, Auron discreetly pulled a shining pink sphere out from the depths of his coat and displayed it to Rikku, who mouthed a small "Oh!" of understanding. "But what are you doing?" he asked, hiding the sphere as he looked over the no-longer-quite-silver jewellery that was scattered around her.

"Well, you didn't think I bought all this decoration for nothing, did you?" Rikku picked up another vial and put the finishing touches on the circlet with her soldering iron. "There. Braska and Jecht's stuff is done. I even made a bracelet for myself!" Rikku proudly displayed the blue bangle dangling off her wrist. "Of course, I didn't make _you_ anything, Auron, since you didn't _want_ anything." Seeing their confused looks, Rikku grinned at her two companions and waved the small tool at them. "Didn't I tell you guys? I'm a synthesist."

"I'm not familiar with the term." Auron crouched in the snow beside her and plucked the circlet out of her hands.

Rikku concealed a faint smile of pride at his look of surprise; Cid always said she was one of the best. Being able to create a good, stable armor required more than just the know-how; like most Al Bhed inventions, it also took a bit of luck and a fair amount of creativity - things that she had in spades.

"Synthesis. It's what we Al Bhed do to create our _superior_ weapons and armor," she explained, enjoying the flash of annoyance that stole across Auron's face. "Oh, don't be such a grouch. I'd be happy to synthesize something for you, too, if you'd just leave me your bracer."

" ‘ey now! Stop flirtin' with Auron and show me what you made me!" Jecht said, pushing between them. "I know I heard my name in there somewhere!"

Rikku snickered and selected the necklace, which she handed to Jecht. "I call this the Serene," she told him. "Because you're always complaining about the cold," she added, flicking the pendant and causing it to spin. As it did, a few bright blue sparks jumped from the metal and swirled around it before fading away. "It'll keep you from going berserk if a fiend hits you the wrong way, and it has a little frost-guard in it, too. It’s not much, but just put it on and you shouldn’t feel so cold anymore."

"This looks just like my tattoo!" Jecht caught the pendant and let out a low whistle. "How'd you do it?"

"I looked," Rikku replied, digging a finger into Jecht's chest. She drew it back when a lewd smile spread across his face.

"I _knew_ you were ooglin' my chest that time!" he crowed. "Sorry, Auron, didn't mean to be movin' in on your girl like that, but I really _am_ too sexy for a shirt." He smirked as he donned the necklace.

Auron covered his eyes and Rikku planted her palm right into Jecht's face and shoved him away. "Dream on, horndog. That tattoo of yours is more like an _eyesore_ that can't be avoided. But hey, maybe now that pendant will distract a few people before they hurt their eyes!"

Jecht stretched out, a lazy grin on his face. "Yeah, yeah. Get in line, you know ya want me."

Sighing wearily, Auron renewed his observation of the circlet. "And this is for Braska...?" Seeing Rikku's nod, he rotated the piece in his hands. "What does it do?"

"Well," she began, feeling nervous. Auron's stern, probing expression hearkened back to the older, intimidating man from Yuna's Pilgrimage whom she was more familiar with. She received the fleeting impression of being graded on her efforts, and cleared her throat. "It's just a little something I threw together to make casting easier for Braska. I hope you don't mind, but I used up all of our ethers on it." Auron's face remained just as unreadable as before, and Rikku plowed on. "Uh, and, I also used a few sleeping powders, too. That should keep him awake if a sleeper fiend attacks!" She trailed off and worried her lower lip, waiting for Auron to pronounce judgement on her efforts.

"... and you need my bracer, you said?" he asked, looking up at her.

Rikku’s eyes grew round. Was he saying what she _thought_ he was saying? Not only was he trusting her with the money, but also with their protection. She scrambled for an appropriate reaction. _Gratitude?_ But that would imply she was a suck-up - and to a former Yevonite, of all people. Then again, it was Auron, the not-yet-legendary Guardian, giving her his vote of confidence. What _was_ the appropriate reaction to have?

Unfortunately, while Rikku's mind was stalling, once again her mouth decided to open and answer the question for her independent of her brain. "Actually, what I really need is your sword and Braska's staff, too." She winced. _Oh, that wasn't quite what I meant to say…_

"You want our weapons," Auron said slowly. "You want to disarm us and experiment on our weapons." He set the circlet down.

"When you put it like that…” She grimaced. "... yeah?"

"Well, she got balls," Jecht muttered behind them.

A chilly silence rose, and then Auron reached towards his chest and unfastened the buckles there. The heavy sheath on his back clattered to the ground; it was followed by the bracer on his arm. "Braska can decide for himself whether or not to lend you his staff when he returns," Auron said. "I trust you won't damage my sword. If you do, I assure you that I can find _other_ things to stick you with."

A damning silence fell as Auron realized what he’d said. He whirled around to Jecht, eyes narrowed. “Open that mouth of yours…”

Jecht’s smug smirk said more than enough as he pantomimed zipping his lips.

Rikku, for her part, tried to stop her face from self-combusting. _I can’t believe he said that!_ “Uh, sure Auron. Anytime, I think?” She glued her eyes to the equipment Auron had dropped to avoid his reaction. "You know, it's gonna take me a while to get used to this."

"Get used to what?" Jecht asked, scooting closer to her. "Havin' the Stiff at your beck and call?" He snickered and Rikku zapped Jecht on the shin with her soldering iron. " _Oww!_ Damn it, Blondie! What the hell was that for?"

"Why don't you go help out Braska?" Rikku told him. She brandished the iron in a clear threat when Jecht opened his mouth to protest. "I don't care how you feel; get motivated or else!"

"A woman with balls ain't always a good thing," Jecht groused as he stood up. He trudged past a smirking Auron, pausing only to mutter "At least she ain't _my_ problem. Just behave, kiddos - I don’t think Yevon approves of doggin’ in the temples.”

Rikku waited until he was gone before she spoke again. "Jecht's an okay guy when he can keep his mouth shut. Which is like _never!_ " Rolling her eyes, Rikku put the iron down and turned her attention to Auron, beckoning him closer.

After a moment of hesitation, he approached her and sunk to one knee.

"What I meant was... well, it's gonna take a while to get used to _this,_ " Rikku said. "You know. Being one of you. Being... trusted." She wondered what he thought of her confession; Auron had a killer poker face.

Auron said nothing for a long moment, and Rikku caught herself studying the curves of his youthful face and comparing it to her memories.

"When you look at me that way," he said, and Rikku snapped her eyes back to his. "Who are you seeing?"

Rikku shook her head at him.

"It isn’t just Raenn, is it. I remind you of someone. _He_ is the reason you're here with us. This man who was taken by Sin."

Unable to answer him, Rikku could only nod.

Auron sighed and looked away from her. "His memory binds you to the past. _That’s_ why you feel you don't belong with us."

 _To the future,_ Rikku corrected. But she watched in fascination as Auron continued to speak. This time, _he_ was reaching out to her, and she wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize the moment - even if it was fulfilling the very guilty desire he was trying to advise her against.

"You shouldn't let obsession with the dead rule your life. You have potential. Live for yourself instead of your memories. Be _more_ than a simple thief and exile." He gestured at his sword and armor. "Rikku. All jests aside, I trust you. You've proven that trust to be well-founded. Why, then, are you surprised?"

"Say, what'd you do with the Auron I know?" Rikku asked, a small smile crossing her face. "What's with the pep talk? I think Braska's rubbing off on you." Her smile clouded as Auron's gaze grew fierce. He caught her wrist and held it still.

"And again, you try to deflect the conversation with your jokes." He sighed in frustration. "I want you to understand what I'm trying to tell you, Rikku. I want you to be able to move on."

Rikku held his gaze. "Why?" she asked, her breath hitching. "Is it because _you_ want me to move on?" _Do_ **_you_ ** _want me?_

Auron didn't answer her for a long moment. "I don’t want you looking at me as though I am someone else," he replied. "I'm not. You can't recreate the past out of memories and your own desires. You asked if we were friends, before. I want to be, Rikku, but it's not easy if you don’t see me for who I am.”

"It's not that simple." She reached up and traced the outline of his future scar across his face, stopping when he flinched away. "I know that you can't get back what you lost," she said bitterly. _Not unless your name is Yuna._ "But I can't just drop everything and start over again." _With you,_ she added to herself.

"Why not?" he asked. "A Pilgrimage is a fresh start for some. A last chance for others. It's a vehicle for change. Will you not even try?"

Who was this man, holding her wrist and making her heart race as he probed her with his questions? This wasn't the cool, distanced legend of memory; the stoic, self-sacrificing, hard-assed hero she had journeyed with before. This man was infinitely more dangerous; just as hard-assed as she remembered, but full of something she hadn't even realized the other Auron was missing – a passion and vitality that refused to remain hidden, either in his brief flares of temper or now, in his searching gaze. Suddenly scared, she refused to answer him. _You want to go home,_ Rikku reminded herself sternly. _And every Fayth you meet is a chance to do just that._

"Well, then," Auron said, dropping her wrist when she didn’t answer. His voice lost its warmth; he withdrew the destruction sphere from his cloak and handed it over. "Then can you at least explain this? How did you know it would be here?"

Rikku gripped the sphere tightly. Her relationship with Auron was one of bartering, she realized. He had just given her more than she ever expected to receive. _Trust him,_ her mind whispered, _he's Auron. He won't break apart._ She nodded slowly. "These things... they're called destruction spheres," Rikku explained. "They're created by the Temples, just like all the other spheres."

"How can a thing of such evil exist in a Temple of Yevon?" Auron asked.

Rikku sighed. _How to explain it all without sending Auron into a religious crisis?_ "It's not a question of good or evil," she said. "In case you haven't noticed, the Church of Yevon isn't all smiles and sunshine. I... well, I don't really know for sure how everything works, but the temples reflect the Church. And the Church has its dark side, too."

She shivered as she thought of the festering hatred and hopelessness that had created Anima. But in the end, despite its evil, Yuna mastered that summon, just as she had every other known aeon. "There's a little bit of darkness in every Temple, but it's _how_ the Summoners use their aeons that matters in the end."

"So we should expect to find these pockets of evil in _every temple we visit?_ "

"Pockets of profit," Rikku said, climbing to her feet. "If you find the right place to plant the sphere, something good will happen for sure. Now let's see..."

Auron reached for his equipment when she stood up, but Rikku waved him down. “Don’t bother. There won’t be any fiends in the Cloisters. It’s never a physical challenge, you know?”

“No, I don’t,” Auron said. “My question is, _how do you?_ ” Stopping, he looked her over with newfound interest. “You were telling the truth in the forest that night, weren’t you. You really were an Al Bhed Guardian.”

“I still am,” Rikku told him with a slight smile. “Now come on, I don’t really remember where this thing is supposed to fit, but we don’t want Braska seeing it.” She set off, approaching the first empty sphere slot she could find. Wedging it in, they waited, but nothing happened.

"That's not it," she mumbled, removing the sphere and moving on to the next column. "How many of these niches did you find, anyway? We might have to test them all..." Rikku trailed off as she slotted the sphere into the recess and a blaze of pink spiralled down into the floor. "Or not. Jackpot!"

"That light... it's moving directly towards Braska and Jecht," Auron noted, his eyes widening as they traced the path of the glow. He reached for the sword that he normally kept on his back and closed his hand around empty air, then cursed. The sound of a loud crash echoed through the hall, followed by Jecht's yell.

"Oww! What the hell was that?"

"Jecht!" Braska's voice sounded strained. "Do you think you might be able to stand - _oomph_ \- someplace other than _my back?_ "

"Well, I guess Jecht is fine. I dunno about Braska though," Rikku observed. "I bet that explosion uncovered a treasure box, too!" she continued with excitement. "Whatever it is, I call dibs on a fourth of the booty!"

Auron let out a barely restrained sigh. "I'm surrounded by infants," he muttered to himself, stalking towards the plateau leading to the lower level of the cloister. He paused as Rikku pulled on his coat. "What is it?"

"Umm..." Rikku beat down her rising blush. "Thanks. For lots of things," she said. "What you asked me to do - it's not exactly easy for me. But I've thought about what you said, and I really want to get to know _you_.”

Auron inclined his head towards her. “I look forward to it.”

“Well… you better get going now. I wanna finish your stuff before we leave here.”

He nodded at her, and Rikku watched Auron until he disappeared. Returning to her own workstation, she looked down at his sword and bracer.

"I guess I saved the best for last," she murmured. Her smile slid off her face as a hand crept to her belt, lingering over the Samurai sphere. "You know, I don’t wanna to fall in love with you, not now.” Shaking her head, Rikku cracked her knuckles and settled on the ground, grabbing Auron's bracer. "Well... it isn't the time for this." She let out a panicked giggle. "Definitely not the time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16: there were a lot of small but subtle tweaks to Auron and Rikku’s conversation that are probably worth reading again. Also, now featuring more of Jecht's sass.


	18. Cold Hard Truth

Rikku sighed into her palm and watched the heavy stone door with half-lidded eyes.  The silence was oppressive; she yawned loudly just to hear herself break it.  Things were much the same as they had been in Bevelle's Chamber of the Fayth - Braska, secluded in the inner sanctum, was taking a long time.  The rest of his entourage waited outside - bored out of their minds, Rikku added to herself.  The hush of the temple put a damper on light conversation.  

Auron weathered the wait with his usual stoic resolve; he could have passed for one of the statues, standing in the corner with his arms crossed and a solemn expression on his face.  Jecht, on the other hand, sprawled lazily across the steps.

Rikku, for her part, waited a good distance away from the entrance to the inner sanctum, unwilling to subject herself to another seizure.  She was sure  _ something _ bad would happen if she tried to force her way into the summoning altar.  The heavy feeling of being  _ observed _ had returned when the door first opened, causing her to tense with anticipation.  But she kept herself still, and as Braska passed through, the stone door had shut behind him without incident.

_ I just didn't want to end up convulsing at Auron's feet again while foaming at the mouth.  That’s why I didn’t try finding a way in with Braska. _  Rikku tried to will away the small, inner voice that argued against her rationalization.   _ It’s not that I want to stay with these guys.  Really. _

Her conscience sounded suspiciously like one of Paine’s exasperated sighs.

Head buzzing from her mental argument, Rikku pushed herself off the wall.  _  I need a distraction. _  Digging through her pouch, she seated herself on the floor and pulled out an empty recording sphere, fiddling with the controls.

"Rikkma," Auron said as he watched her. "Braska is communing with the Fayth as we speak.  You shouldn’t -"

"Oh, stuff it," Rikku answered.  "You know I don't believe in any of those hokey-pokey machina superstitions.  How many times have you been recorded already, Auron?  Looks like your soul's still here to me," she added, switching the sphere on and purposefully focusing on him.  Auron flinched, but to his credit but didn't move out of the way.  The sour expression he directed at her, however, made clear what he thought of both her recording and her behavior.  With a twinge of guilt, Rikku turned the sphere around and aimed it at herself instead.

"Fine, I'm more fun to look at than you anyway."  She winked at the glowing orb.   _ Spheres are strange _ , she thought, studying the bubbling blue liquid it contained.  Though filled with Macalania’s purest water, they didn't ever reflect images, instead absorbing them for later viewing when properly charged.  In a way, they  _ could _ be seen as a rather vampiric devices - not that she was going to tell Auron that anytime soon, though. Fisting her palm against her chin, Rikku stared back into the depthless blue glow and quirked an eyebrow.  "I wonder what I should do with you, huh?  Keep a diary of our Pilgrimage?"  Thinking about it for only a moment, Rikku shook her head.  "No way.  Those kinds of things always come back to bite you in the butt later on!"

"Why don't you use it to film me instead?"  Jecht pushed himself off of the steps and sauntered over, feeling bored enough to bother her.  "I'm a superstar!  I'm used to all that attention!"  He struck a pose, and Rikku giggled while rolling her eyes.

"Just for that I'm not going to record you at all," she said, keeping the sphere trained on her face and sticking out her tongue.

"But I'm  _ bored! _ "  Jecht whined as he crossed his arms.  "Braska's takin' forever an' I don't even have a blitzball to keep me company here!"

"Thank Yevon," Auron muttered under his breath.

Rikku frowned as she watched Jecht pace.  He did seem rather jumpy; on a good day, Jecht was hyperactive anyway.  But she'd noticed him getting more twitchy, for lack of a better word, the longer they waited.  He wasn't so restless when they were on the move, but here in the temple with nothing but silence and your own thoughts to occupy the time, it stood out all the more.

Placing the sphere on the floor, Rikku reached over and poked Jecht's ankle to draw his attention.  She drew back in surprise when he spun around and glared at her.   _ Whoa, nervous much? _  "Hey, are you okay?" she asked under her breath.

Rikku made sure that Auron wasn’t watching them.  Fortunately, he’d gone back to ignoring Jecht the moment the whining began.  Rikku figured he was meditating with his eyes open, or some other warrior monk junk.  Whatever he was doing, it worked effectively to block out any and everything that had to do with Jecht.  Now, however, she questioned the wisdom of Auron’s strategy, as a twinge of concern struck her.  She suspected she knew the source of Jecht’s problem, but it would've been easier to deal with if Auron showed even the barest flicker of interest.

"Just restless," Jecht finally answered her.  He ran a hand over his face and then sent a look of envy towards Auron... or more accurately, Auron's jug.  "Sure could use a drink right now, though," he added as an afterthought.  "You think he'd loan me some of that stuff if I asked nice?"

"Loan?" Rikku sputtered.  "What, like you'd give it back when you were done?  How'd you plan on doing that, by yakking all over him?"

"Well, it'd be more interestin' than sitting around here on my thumbs," Jecht growled at her.  Then he sighed.  "Sorry. Just... all this hurryin' up to do nothin'... it gets to me sometimes.”

Rikku kept silent, her brow furrowing.  It wasn't the lack of activity that had Jecht tied up in knots - it was the lack of alcohol.  She remembered the vague stories Tidus used to tell during the times he tried so hard to convince them - and himself - that he hated his father.  There had to have been a grain of truth in them, for all of Tidus' theatrics. 

Watching Jecht's nervous pacing, she wondered just how much he usually drank.   _ Well, it doesn’t concern me, _ Rikku thought.   _ If I play my cards right, I won’t even have the time to deal with Jecht’s drinking problem. _  Still, she felt a pang of sympathy for his plight and decided to try to help by distracting him.

"Hey, why don't you join me down here?" Rikku offered, pulling a few coins out of their near-empty purse.  "We can pass the time together.  I'll teach you how to play Sphere Break!"

"Sphere Break?  That some kinda game?"

"Uh-huh," Rikku said, laying out the coins in the appropriate pattern.  She smirked; maybe it was unfair to challenge Jecht, a complete stranger to the game.  She  _ had _ won that embarrassing dressphere off of Shinra, reigning Sphere Break Champion, after all.  "Sit down and I'll tell you all about it," she said with a twinkle in her eye. 

It took more than a few tries to explain the rather complex set of rules.  It wasn't made easier by the lack of "prizes" to offer for winning, something Jecht complained about loudly enough to garner even Auron's attention.

"What's the point of playin' if you don't win anything?" Jecht asked.

"It's supposed to be  _ fun, _ " Rikku shot back.

"Keep the noise down," Auron grunted with a long-suffering sigh.  His eyes passed over the coins scattered across the ground with a look of distaste.  "Sometimes I wonder why I even try."

"Then stop wondering and come play with us!"  Rikku pouted.

"Or just stop tryin', you know we won't listen to you anyway," Jecht added.  

Auron huffed, resuming his purposeful disinterest in their existence.

"Come on, Jecht.  I can't play Sphere Break by myself!  You're bored, I'm bored, what else are we gonna do here anyway?"

"Look, Blondie," Jecht replied, gesturing at the coins in the sample game Rikku had created, "if I understand the rules, part of the fun is thinkin' up a way to get all those extra prizes if you play your coins right.  So you can't  _ really _ play without a prize, see?"

Rikku sighed.  He had a point, she was loathe to admit.  "But I don't have anything to give you!"

"Huh," Jecht said, a sly smile spreading over his face.  "I think you do.  How 'bout this..."  He pointed at one of the coins and leaned in towards her, lowering his voice.  "This one's your lucky coin, you don't have to do anything if I get it.  But..."  And here, Jecht's hand hovered over the adjoining coin.  "Ten of these lands me a smooch."  He continued gleefully as Rikku's mouth dropped open in protest.  "Ten of those other ones makes Braska the lucky guy.  And..."  Rikku dropped her head into her hand, already knowing what Jecht was going to say and feeling the flush of embarrassment creeping over her face.  "Eighteen of these makes Big Red over there smile."

Rikku's head shot up.  "Why does Auron get eighteen?" she squawked, and then flushed even more as Auron swung around to stare at them suspiciously.

Jecht laughed.  " ‘Cause he likes playin' hard to get!"

Auron raised a questioning eyebrow at her, and Rikku shook her head and pointed at Jecht in the hopes that it would suffice as an explanation.  That seemed to work, as Auron grunted in exasperation and resumed his aloof meditation.

Relieved, Rikku put her hands on her cheeks and willed her blush to die down.  It wasn't so much that she was embarrassed about the "prizes" Jecht had selected - more about her own reaction if he won some of them.  But still... 

_ "Eighteen?" _ she hissed furiously, narrowing her eyes at Jecht, who gave her a knowing smirk.  At this rate, she might as well have a sign tattooed to her forehead that read "RIKKU LOVES AURON."   _ Jecht and his stupid mind games! _  Weighing her options, Rikku gave in.  After all, it was a toss-up:  morose introspection while watching Jecht go through withdrawal, or having a chance to kiss Auron  _ and _ blame the whole thing on Jecht later on.  Glowering, she gave him a quick, guilty nod of agreement.  "You'd better be damn good at math!" she warned, spreading the coins out before him.  "Now solve this one in sixty seconds starting  _ right now! _ "

Fifteen minutes later, Rikku had learned a couple of things about Jecht.  The first was that he was terrible at math.  The second was that despite this shortcoming, he was excellent at strategy on the fly - the mark of any good blitzball player, she figured.  She was still two coins away from earning the responsibility -  _ you mean the chance, _ her inner voice cheered - to kiss Auron.  Due to Jecht's incompetence she already owed Braska one kiss, and was four perilous steps away from having to actually kiss Jecht himself.  The last, however, might have been attributed more to his own perverse sense of humor rather than his mediocre mastery of Sphere Break.

Auron, for his part, was still blissfully unaware of his prize status, which was probably a good thing.  Sphere Break wasn’t a quiet game, at least it not when Jecht and Rikku played it.  They both had a tendency to be boisterous, and when things got too loud Auron's glare would materialize, sometimes accompanied by the conspicuous clearing of his throat.  After one too many arguments over the results, Auron pushed off from the wall and approached them with an air of barely-restrained annoyance.

"You both should know better than to gamble in a temple," he told them.  "Even if you don't believe in Yevon, the least you could do is show the proper respect here."  He scowled at the forgotten sphere that was nestled on the ground, eying its soft blue glow.  "And turn that blasted thing off!"

"Oopsie!"  Rikku reached for the sphere and deactivated it.  This earned her another snort of disapproval, and she rolled her eyes at a smirking Jecht.  "For your information, Auron," she said, "we're not gambling.  We're just using the coins to play a game, not trading them."  Auron didn't look convinced, so she shrugged.  "Hey, it could be worse.  We could be playing poker instead."

Jecht snorted.  "Naw, that wouldn't happen.  If ya want a real game of poker, you'd have a stiff drink and some fine lookin' women at your table, and as you can see, we're sorely lackin' in both."  He grinned at Rikku and gave her a wink.

Rikku threw daggers with her eyes towards Jecht.  "You know, I'm feeling a sudden need to practice my Gil Toss," she growled, gathering the coins into her hand.  The quiet sound of rumbling cut off her threat before any bodily harm could be inflicted, and all eyes turned towards the stairs.  

The stone door to the inner sanctum lifted.  Rikku held her breath; after a few moments, Braska emerged from the darkness, his face damp with sweat.  The fortitude potion she'd dosed him with had long since worn off, and he looked weaker than ever.  As much as they helped in times of need, crashing from a mix high tended to be ugly - there was a reason the human body could only push itself so far, after all.

"I did it," he managed to say with a proud smile, stepping forward.  And then he tripped, and everyone was scrambling to catch him.  

Rikku, being the fastest of the group, made it to him first.  She was, in fact, quick enough to catch a glimpse of the inner sanctum.  There before her was the chance she’d been waiting for.  She could slip through if she dove  _ right now; _ nothing was stopping her.  And then there was Braska, on the verge of losing consciousness, falling.

Afterwards, Rikku questioned her actions - why she didn't think clearly and take the chance that presented itself.  But in the heat of the moment, there didn't seem to be much of a  _ choice _ at all.  She was Braska's  _ Guardian  _ \- she was there to protect him, not herself.  The air left her lungs in a gasp as Braska's body knocked into her open arms.  For someone with a willowy build, he sure was heavy.

"Help!"  Rikku wheezed as she fell backwards over the steps with Braska in tow.

"Whoa there, I gotcha," Jecht said as he caught them both and righted her carefully.  Auron was there to ease Braska out of her grasp, slinging the other man's arm over his shoulder. 

"My lord!" he said with concern as Braska blinked and looked around. "You should rest -"

"No!" Braska said, pushing himself away from Auron and wavering on his feet before regaining his balance.  "No, I'm fine," he added in a more subdued tone.  "I'm just... a little tired.  Let's return to the main chamber.  I wish to summon."

"Now?" Auron repeated with a note of concern.  "Do you think that's wise in your condition?"

Braska shook Auron's arm off and gripped his staff.  "I have only one condition, Auron, and that is my status as a Summoner.  If I cannot perform my duty, then we should abandon this Pilgrimage here and now."  He let out a shaky breath when he was done, and the room fell silent.

It was strange to see Auron expressing so much concern for Braska's welfare, when Auron was usually the one who drove the group to its limits.  Rikku was starting to understand where his older incarnation's attitude had come from, though.  

For all of Braska’s gentle mannerisms, there was something hard and flinty underneath his kind smile; the same stubborn determination that pushed him to march out of the chamber on his own two feet, rather than relying on the help of his Guardians.  He stopped to lean on his staff, and Auron's mouth thinned in silent disapproval, though he made no move to assist the other man.

Jecht was also watching the display with mild interest.  " ‘ey, Braska.  You're tough, we get it.  But even the best blitzers get winded sometimes.  No shame in lettin' Auron over there help out, right?"

Braska stiffened, but didn't turn around - either from pride, or more simple exhaustion.  "It is not a matter of shame, Jecht."  With that, he resumed his sedate pace towards the temple proper.  

Auron frowned and trailed after the summoner, and Jecht let out a loud sigh.  Then he glanced at Rikku speculatively.

"Oh no," Rikku said, shaking her head as she scooped the remains of their scattered Sphere Break game into her pouch. "What makes you think I could do any better at convincing Braska that he needs help than Auron?  They're like best friends already!"

"Auron don't have boobs," Jecht replied, and Rikku rolled her eyes.

"Jecht, not every man's world revolves around ogling women," she snapped.

"Maybe so.  But you don't got a choice, Rikkma," he drawled in response, folding his arms.  "I won Braska a kiss, didn't I?  So you have to do it.  And I say you do it right now."

Rikku's mouth flapped open and closed for a few moments, but Jecht's somber expression remained fixed.  "B-but... but... I'm not going to kiss Braska  _ right in front of Auron!   _ Are you trying to help me out here or shoot my non-relationship in the foot before it even starts?"

Jecht sighed. "Listen, I can handle Auron.  I'll tell him about our game. Either he'll understand, or he'll be too busy beatin' the crap outta me to notice you lockin' lips with Braska."

Rikku closed her eyes and rubbed the crease that was forming on her forehead.  "Jecht!   _ That's not the point! _ "  She glared at him and spoke very slowly, just in case his ears were as stuffed as his head seemed to be.  "I.  Do not.  Want to kiss.   _ Braska. _ "

"Oh, 'cause you look like his wife,  _ right _ ?" Jecht drawled.

Rikku’s flush deepened.  "It's not that!  Well, it is, kinda, but not how you think!"  She smacked her palm into her forehead and groaned.  "Why am I even having this conversation with you, Jecht?  I'm not going to kiss Braska right now!"

Jecht stalked after the others, for once trying to keep his voice moderated as they caught up to Braska and Auron.  "I didn't say you have to kiss him full on the lips.  All you gotta do is go up there and help him out."

"He doesn't want to be helped," Rikku replied.  If a tired Braska was anything like a tired Yuna on a bad day, she didn't want to be caught in the crossfire.  "If you like the idea so much, go on up there and kiss him yourself!"

Jecht snorted.  "Fine.  You wanna play it hard, we can play it hard.  If you don't go up there and talk Braska outta his fool idea, then you  _ do _ have to kiss him.  On the lips, with yer tongue, in front of your boyfriend,  _ right now. _  Or I'll tell Braska all ‘bout how you tried to blow him up earlier."

Rikku blinked.  “Wait.   _ Blow him up? _  When did I ever try to blow Braska...?”  she trailed off, already regretting her word choice in the face of Jecht’s guffaws.  For the second time she felt herself gaping like a fish out of water.  "That's- that's blackmail!" she yelped, and gave Jecht a deadly glare to which he only grinned in reply.

"Stop him from summonin’, or kiss him. Your choice."

"Some choice," Rikku said under her breath as she darted past him.  She winced as she brushed past Auron.   _ He’s not gonna like this one bit. _

"Rikkma?" Auron asked.  "Lord Braska doesn't wish to be bothered right now, as I'm sure you heard."  He peered at her.  "By that look on your face I can tell that you're planning something.  Whatever it is,  _ don't. _ "

"Umm... no can do," Rikku answered.  Jecht coughed behind her.  "If anything...  _ weird... _ happens, it's all Jecht's fault.  So don't get mad, okay?"

"Weird?" Auron repeated, but Rikku ignored him and continued until she was abreast of Braska.  She threw herself in front of him and walked backwards, trying to catch his eye.

"Rikkma.  As much as I appreciate your carefree spirit, this isn't the best time for your games," Braska told her.  "Please step aside."

"I'm not playing a game," Rikku replied.  She watched him trip over some icy rubble strewn across the floor, and made up her mind.   _ Maybe Jecht was right... Braska's being more stubborn than an angry chocobo. _  She situated herself at Braska's side, mirroring the position Auron had attempted to take earlier and looping one of his arms over her shoulders.  "I'm going to drag you straight to a bed whether you like it or not."

Braska tensed beside her, but didn't pull away immediately.  "As tempting as that offer sounds, Rikkma, I am afraid I must refuse.  Besides... do you not wish to see the new aeon as well?"

Rikku rolled her eyes.   _ Been there, done that _ seemed like the wrong answer to give.  Instead, she settled for an exaggerated sigh.  "So it's all about showing off, huh?  Well, mister hot-shot, I think you've been hanging around Jecht too long.  You don't have to prove anything to us, you know.  You're a Summoner already, for cripe's sake!  Take it slow!  You don't have to save the world in one day."

Braska chuckled.  "I thought you would be pleased to see the creator of Macalania's forests," he said.  "I can feel her presence in my mind.  She is very beautiful, I am certain of it."

"I bet," Rikku mumbled uncomfortably.  Pausing, she separated herself from Braska long enough to push open the heavy double doors that sealed the entrance of the Cloister off from the main hall.  As she made her way back, she caught Auron's eye.  Was he going to be jealous?  Was there even anything for him to be jealous of, after that conversation they had in the Cloister of Trials?  The nervous butterflies in her stomach died down as Auron gave her an imperceptible nod of approval, and she propped Braska against her side once more.

"I see my Guardians are conspiring against me," Braska noted, allowing himself to be led out.  "While I am pleased to see the three of you working together so well, I wish it was not at my expense."

Rikku clucked her tongue in annoyance.  "We're not conspiring against you.  We're  _ guarding _ you, since you aren't guarding yourself."  She tugged him towards one of the adjacent resting rooms, prepared especially for the visiting summoner parties, but stopped when she felt Braska lean away from her.

"Tell me... why did you think you would have any more success at dissuading me than Auron?" Braska asked.

"Because I'm a girl?" Rikku hedged, trying to tug him towards the chamber once more.   _ Jecht is so dead, _ she thought to herself.

Auron stepped into view, "Is there a problem?"

"None," Braska replied blandly, extracting his arm from Rikku's iron grip with a brief look of warning.  "I just need a moment to gather myself before I summon."

"Really, now?"  Jecht's voice was a little too loud, breaking the hushed silence of the temple as he strolled towards them.  "And here I thought you were gonna take a break."  He grinned toothily at Rikku, who cringed.

"Braska -" she mumbled.  To her surprise, he turned towards her with a look of weary understanding.

"Rikkma, I truly appreciate the concern you and the others are showing for my well-being.  But I am not doing this to show off.  I  _ must _ summon this aeon . I must prove that I am strong enough to defeat Sin for myself."  He gave her a faint smile.  "It is a test, and the duty of every Summoner.  I cannot back away, and I cannot fail."

Rikku sighed and dropped her head.  She knew the look in his eyes; no matter what Jecht thought she could do, nothing was going to stop Braska.  Nothing short of his own death, if that was what it took.  "... do you want another potion?" she asked.

"I must succeed on my own," he answered, holding out his staff.  "Please, tell the others to get back."

Rikku worried her lip. "Aren't you scared that you'll hurt yourself?" she tried one last time.

Braska tilted his head, one of his trademark half-smiles gracing his features.  He looked fragile in that moment, more like a life-sized porcelain doll rather than a man.  But his voice was steady when he spoke.  

"Of course I am worried. Believe me, it is not a lack of fear that drives me to do this now.  But there are things which I believe in that are greater than the sum of my own fears.  Things that we all must believe in.  A world of peace.  A world free of Sin.  Such a world, brought forth by the Summoner's sacrifice."  He gave her a measured look.  "I know you understand, Rikkma."

She knew a lost cause when she heard one.  With a slight nod, she moved away from Braska, giving him the space he would need to dance.   _ So stubborn, _ she thought to herself.  Then, hesitating, she darted forward.  "Wait!  At least let me give you this," she said.  Ignoring Braska's surprised expression, she leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.  "For luck," she explained as he stared.

After a moment of hesitation, he returned her smile and gave her a slight nod.  "Thank you."

Rikku turned away from him and jogged over to Auron and Jecht, motioning them to move back. "I couldn't stop him," she explained.  "He's still going to summon her."  Her shoulders drooped. "I'm sorry," she mumbled to them under her breath.

"I can't believe you really did it!  You kissed him!" Jecht exclaimed.  “Oww!” he added when Rikku punched him in the arm.

Auron’s expression was closed; he was in his Ignore Jecht mode again, eyes trained on Braska.

"You and your stupid bets," Rikku mumbled, turning around to watch the show.  

Braska had already begun the summoning dance; if his steps were a little slower than usual, or his movements less graceful, no one commented on it.  Indeed, there was nothing to be said as the swirl of magic surrounded him, spiralling around the staff in his hand and lifting upwards in a spray of color.  The tinkling of crystal became louder; the first few shards of ice fell from the ceiling.  Massive chunks of it exploded out of the floor, and then silence reigned as the silvery, almost-liquid form of the aeon descended from above.

"Whoa," Jecht breathed, his eyes wide as Shiva formed, blasting away her prison of ice with an air of haughty disregard.  Even Auron seemed speechless for the moment, enraptured by the large aeon's beauty.

Rikku drank in the sight of the much-missed aeon.  Shiva had always reminded her very much of Lulu - besides the obvious parallel of being ridiculously stacked, both were also calm, cool and put together - what was, in Rikku's mind, the perfect ideal of feminine beauty.  She let out a tiny sigh of content, then stiffened as the summon turned to regard the source of the disturbance in the otherwise silent temple.  More correctly, to regard  _ her. _

Rikku couldn't notice anything but the aeon as she stared at her, Shiva’s delicate features giving her look an eerily almost-human quality.  The gaze sent a chilled jolt through Rikku’s body and she wrapped her arms around herself.  No - Shiva wasn't anything like Lulu, Rikku amended.  Lulu, for her frosty exterior, still had compassion and feelings for others, the basics of what made a person human.  Shiva was, all puns aside, much more transparent.  She was the incarnation of ruthlessness, the remains of a consciousness that had shed every last ounce of humanity in order to transform herself into the perfect machine.

As if she could hear Rikku's thoughts, Shiva smirked.  Her eyes remained cold and unforgiving, her gaze unblinking.   _ You do not belong here, _ the aeon seemed to say, though she didn't appear to be surprised.

Suddenly, Rikku knew.  She knew with a terrifying, absolute certainty, that this was how it would be for the rest of the Pilgrimage.  No amount of planning, of clawing or scraping to gain access to the inner sanctum of a temple would change her situation.  Shiva tilted her head as if satisfied, and with a toss of one thick braid, leapt away, disintegrating into graceful swirls of pyreflies.  Rikku didn't notice, her throat dry and her eyes wide.

_ They won't help you.  You chose this, _ her inner voice supplied in the face of her mute shock.

_ Give up, _ her thoughts whispered traitorously.   _ Forget the Rikku you were, and become the Rikkma of this era.  There's no going back anyway. _  The small whimper stuck in Rikku's throat.  She was here, in this past, unstuck in time forever or until she died - which would happen pretty soon, if Braska completed his Pilgrimage as he said he would.   _ It'd be easier to forget anyway... to pretend that this is your second chance, your time to be with Auron.  Just let go, isn't that what Auron himself told you to do? _

Rikku clenched her fists at her side.   _ Give up?  Just like that? _  She shook her head, breaking out of the trance she had been thrust into on seeing ice maiden.  So what if Ixion or Ifrit wouldn't help her?  Heck, if she paid Yojimbo enough money he'd probably open the gates of time for her personally.  And if that wasn't an option, there was always Valefor.   _ Yeah, Valefor, _ Rikku thought to herself with an increasing amount of hope.  Valefor  _ was _ gentler than any of the other summons she had ever remembered meeting; the aeon had shared a unique bond with Yuna, and it had even comforted Tidus during his time of need.  If there was Fayth that could possibly be called compassionate, it would have to be the winged wonder of Besaid.

With that bit of rationalization, Rikku’s sudden wave of panic subsided.  She stubbornly refused to think of what would happen if her plan didn't work - she couldn't abandon hope.   _ My story is not going to end in the past! _  Another thought struck her, and Rikku stifled a groan.   _ Wait a second - Besaid is all the way on the other side of the world!  Valefor is going to be the last aeon Braska picks up on this trip! _  "Great," she breathed aloud.

"That's the understatement of the year," Jecht piped in, recovering from his own shock.  "Why didn'tcha tell me those aeons could be babes?  That thing had legs all the way up to her neck!" He let out a low, appreciative whistle, and both Auron and Rikku winced.

"Don't be disgusting, Jecht."  Rikku growled.  "Shiva isn't even human!"

"She got it where it counts," Jecht replied with a lecherous grin.  Ignoring the incredulous stares of his companions, he sauntered towards Braska.  "Hey man, nice job!  You look beat.  I think you earned a rest, huh?"

"Indeed," Braska replied, this time leaning easily into the proffered arm.  "Thank you - all of you - for fulfilling your own duties, so that I could fulfill mine."  His eyes lingered on Rikku, and with a sinking feeling, she wondered if the impulsive kiss she had given him had been a mistake.  A quick glance over her shoulder at Auron stilled those fears, even as a new set was raised.

Auron, too, was looking at her, and she realized with a jolt that he had  _ seen. _  He'd seen Shiva staring right at her!  She opened her mouth, scrabbling for an explanation, and then closed it as she caught sight of Braska.  

He was dead on his feet, the last of his strength robbed by the summoning, and an unfamiliar feeling surged through her and quashed her uneasiness.  Whatever it was that passed between Shiva and herself had to wait; Braska needed her help  _ now _ .  Some things were just more important.   _ "Things which I believe in that are greater than the sum of my fears," _ Braska had told her.

_ I'm not going home, not anytime soon.  I'm a Guardian again. _  She straightened her shoulders and smiled at Braska.  Auron's questions had to wait - they had a job to do first, and a few frosty looks from an aeon wouldn’t change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 7/16: Made a few tweaks here and there for logic and dialogue flow. Just 1 extra Jecht Joke added this time.


	19. Uncertain

"We need to talk."

Rikku swallowed and squirmed in her seat by the campfire.  She'd been expecting those words for quite some time now.  The trip out of Macalania's frozen cliffs had been uneventful and cold.  Conversation was sparse - unlike the fiend battles they were challenged by.  But with Braska determined to flex his summoning muscles, at the least the journey was easier; he wanted to master Shiva's frosty power while the aeon was still in her home element.  Rikku didn’t mind; it gave her that much more time to concentrate on salvaging their dismal supply situation - something that hadn't been aided by her previous gil-tossing effort.

Auron remained reticent for the entire hike, but Rikku could  _ feel _ he was brooding over something.

Jecht's increasingly erratic behavior wasn't helping, either - in place of his usual tension-breaking jokes, a surly temper was growing instead.  He was reminding her less and less of the childish yet endearing boor she’d come to know and more of the arrogant, careless stranger Tidus had described to them.  If that wasn't enough, his fighting was in a worse state than ever - Rikku swore that she could see his hands shake when he gripped his sword.  It was lucky for everyone that Braska was eager to pick up the slack with his aeon, but Rikku wondered what would happen once they left the icy planes and training would no longer be Braska’s priority.

It wasn't a pleasant mix of tensions to travel with - the atmosphere was strained, with pressure building on every side.  Rikku expected things to boil over as soon as they made camp, but instead, both Jecht and Braska had bundled themselves straight off to bed.  And now, Auron had finally broken the tense silence as they watched the others sleep.

She glanced at him, wondering if this was going to be "the big kablooie."   _ Couldn't he have picked on Jecht? _  Gathering her resolve, she stopped fidgeting and met Auron’s stare.   _ I am a Guardian.  I've faced Sin.  I won't let anything scare me!  Not even Auron’s scary face! _

"Talk?  Do we need to, really?"  Rikku blurted out.

_ Or, okay, maybe I can deal with the big kablooie on another day.  Auron’s scary face wins! _

Auron gave her a simple, knowing look.  One of  _ those _ looks, the ones that told her he wasn't going to let her shake him off.  She drew another point for him on her mental scorecard and rolled her eyes.   _ It's completely unfair. _ _ That man could move mountains with the twitch of an eyebrow. _

"Alright, Mister Eyebrow of Doom.  We can talk now if you insist."  Rikku scrunched her nose at him in defeat.

"Thank you," Auron replied, his voice so dry Rikku was sure he could have cured jerky by breathing into the bag of rations he carried.  "I think the problem to discuss is obvious."

Rikku sucked in her breath.   _ Busted! _  "Okay, yeah."  _   Breathe, Rikku! _

"About that aeon thing.  I can totally explain!  I know you hate it when I keep secrets, and I guess this is the mother them all, but I can't just tell you.  I mean, maybe I can, but I think you'd better your sword away - come on, Braska's been all  _ lemmie-at-em! _ all day, I don’t think there are any fiends left out here to jump us.  And I mean it, stop polishing that thing and put it away, otherwise you might accidentally impale yourself, or something, and then - hey, actually, I don't know if that would really change anything!  But it would be all gross and nasty and I'd have to sphere change just to heal you because Jecht just drank our last hi-potion - without asking, I might add, and you know what he said to me after he did it?  He said  _ I don't feel high at all, _ can you  _ believe _ that jerk?  And anyway - uh, hello, are you even listening to me?" 

She trailed off as she noticed the look Auron was directing at her.  This one was a different look now, one of the ones he tended to fire off at Jecht.  It was the incredulous one, with the quirked lip, asking  _ how stupid are you? _

"Huh? What, what'd I say?"

Auron shook his head, pinching his brow in annoyance and muttering something under his breath that sounded a bit like  _ I can't believe she talks that much _ but could have just as well been  _ I can't believe we didn't have brunch. _  Which was a point - they  _ were _ almost out of food, and everybody was ready for a hot meal and something other than dried meat to chew on.  Yeah, it was definitely the food problem that was giving him trouble concentrating on their conversation, Rikku decided.

"Not about that," Auron said, looking up. "Does  _ everything _ in your perception always revolve around you?"

"It does when I'm talking about our supplies!" Rikku answered defensively.  "Since I'm only holding  _ all _ of them!  In  _ one small _ pouch!"

"I’m aware of the situation," Auron told her.  "But I want you to forget for a moment about the food, the money, and whatever it is you're trying to hide from me this time and focus on something much more immediate.  Do you think you could manage that just this once?"

Rikku stared.  "You don't want to talk to me about money, and you're not going to interrogate me about the aeon?"  She frowned and peered at him with suspicion.  "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Auron replied with faint amusement.  The smirk dropped from his face and his expression turned serious.  "I'm not here to ask you about what you obviously don't want to tell me."

The shock was enough to snap Rikku's mouth shut, followed by a momentary feeling of shame - mostly because of the relief she felt on hearing that  _ she _ wasn’t Auron’s problem this time.  It probably wouldn’t last, but for the moment it was a bullet dodged.

But... if he didn't want to talk to her about  _ that, _ then why approach in the first place?  "So... umm, what’s up?"

Auron turned his gaze to one of the occupied bedrolls across the glowing embers of the dying fire.   "Has Jecht been acting strangely around you of late?" he asked in a low undertone.

Rikku followed his glance, landing on Jecht.  The suspect was snoring, as usual.  As they watched, he rolled over and smacked his lips together a few times, before scratching an armpit and resuming his evening serenade, completely unperturbed.  

Rikku winced.  "Jecht always acts strange," she pointed out, earning a brief smile from Auron.  It soon dropped, however, and Rikku sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs, rocking herself to and fro.  She'd tried to avoid this - considering how straight-laced Auron was, it was a wonder he'd kept this to himself for so long.  "But I think I know what you mean."

Auron's face settled into a more typical frown, though it lacked his usual fierceness.  "Jecht is suffering from the drinking sickness.  He'll put us all in danger, one way or the other, whether he finds a new source or tries to free himself of it.  I had my suspicions, but Jecht should have mentioned it was this severe."  Auron's frown deepened.  "This is not how we should have found out."  That it was  _ exactly _ the wrong place and time was left unsaid.

Rikku lowered her chin onto her knees and stared at the burned remains of the detritus they'd scrapped together for fuel.   "We all know Jecht has a room temperature IQ, and we’ve just been to Macalania.”  Idly, she flicked a hand out and reignited coals with a small burst of Fire magic.  Jecht's snoring continued unabated.  “I bet he doesn't realize how sick he really is."

Auron nodded in agreement.  "So far it hasn't been a problem.  But Braska is becoming accustomed to the new aeon, as well as the rigors of the Pilgrimage.  He'll notice - if he hasn't already."

"Let's hope not," Rikku said, her eyes flicking from Jecht's bedroll to Braska's.  

Their summoner was sleeping opposite of Jecht.  The two had a strange symmetry, being a study in contrasts even at rest.  Jecht was a mess, sprawled over the crumpled remains of his blanket, while Braska lay motionless on his bedroll, so still and pale that he could be mistaken for dead, if not for the gentle rise and fall of his chest.  Exhaustion kept Braska still, lost in the deepest of sleeps as he gathered his magical strength for the next day's journey.

Rikku's hand travelled to her lips, recalling the fleeting kiss she had planted on Braska’s cheek.  She blushed when she realized Auron was watching her, and redirected her gaze elsewhere.  "Braska’s been practicing pretty hard with Shiva, huh.  I think he's getting better at this summoning stuff."

Auron said nothing for a while, and Rikku shuffled her feet.  "You... umm.  You don't want to ask me about what happened in the temple, do you?" she ventured.  Seeing Auron's complete lack of response emboldened her.  "Not even a little curious?" she added, her nervousness being replaced by indignation.   _ Is he ignoring me? _

Auron shrugged.  "It isn't my place to ask you anything."  He wasn't looking at her, but his gaze lost a bit of its usual intensity as a smile pulled at the corners of his lips.  "I think I've finally realized that," he admitted after a moment.  "I am neither your keeper, nor Lord Braska’s.  All this time I’ve tried my best to protect him, but I think..."  He trailed off, staring into the fire's remains.  "Perhaps I’ve been...  _ overzealous _ .  He’s earned the right to do what he wants - or what he feels is best.  So have you."  

He looked at her, then, his eyes shadowed.  "You see someone important to you, someone you’ve lost, when you see me."  Shaking his head when Rikku opened her mouth to protest, he continued speaking.  "I am neither blind nor stupid, Rikku.  I accept that you, too, have suffered from Sin, just as we all have.  It’s easy to forget that around you and Jecht... you’re both so  _ different _ from us."  He studied Braska.  "Braska does the same.  He sees his wife in you - he can’t help himself."  Auron's expression turned grim.  "Braska has already sacrificed too much.  If… your  _ attentions _ make this Pilgrimage easier for him to endure, then I won’t stand in his way.  He deserves to know comfort and companionship on this, his final journey."

Rikku’s heart dropped like a stone - the way Auron put it so bluntly, Braska's  _ final _ journey, brought the inevitable conclusion of the Pilgrimage to the forefront, reminding her of what was in store for them all if they succeeded.   _ When we succeed, _ Rikku corrected herself.   _ It has to be  _ **_when_ ** _.  _  She started as Auron continued speaking, feeling her breath hitch.   _ Hold on - is he saying what I think he's saying? _

"And I know now, Rikku, that you won’t hurt him.  You... may return his affections, if you wish. I won't interfere."

“It’s not Braska’s affections I want!”  Rikku felt as though she had been punched in the gut; not enough air was making the journey into her lungs for proper speech.  She glared at Auron.  "This could be the last journey for all of us!  What are you, some kind of martyr?  Don't you think you deserve a little happiness too?"

Auron faced her.  "From you?"

For one a heart-stopping moment, Rikku felt despair.  The tone of his rhetorical question was leaden and uninviting, clearly spelling out REJECTION, sending her thoughts into a tailspin.   _ He doesn't feel anything for me?  No... we're friends... I'm his friend!  But nothing else?  Then this... this journey I was sent on... all that pain I felt when he left... it was all for nothing? _  "W-would that be so bad?" she managed to reply.

Auron sighed; his iron mask slipped a little as something flickered behind his eyes, and suddenly Rikku found she could breathe again.  She resisted the urge to sock him in the shoulder for scaring her so much, figuring it would kill the mood of the moment they were sharing.  If you could call his avoidance of her and the fact that he had just practically shoved her at Braska a  _ moment _ at all.

"You're a very pretty girl," Auron admitted. "Even for an Al Bhed."

Rikku felt her cheeks turn pink a moment before her mouth dropped open.  As expected, Auron's dubious compliments were a double-edged sword.  “Gee, thanks,” she deadpanned.  “I guess you aren’t half-bad for a Bevellian, either.”  She waited to hear the  _ real _ words, whatever it was he was trying to tell her.

"I know you believe you’re attracted to me.  You're a very poor actress and you wear your emotions on your sleeve."  He chuckled.  "At first, it offended me, but now..."  His smiled faded, and his stare was so heavy Rikku felt a chill run down her spine.  She wet her lips nervously, and was surprised when he looked away first.

"... things have been changing between us.  Between all of us."  There was a tense, but not entirely uncomfortable pause, and Auron gave her a significant look.  "You no longer disgust me, in any case."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Oh, you flatterer," she drawled, turning away from him to hide her face.  “Maybe you should get some pointers from Braska.  At least he knows how to make a girl feel welcome.”  She squeaked in surprise when Auron's hands gripped her forearms to twist her back around.  He seemed upset - but not with  _ her _ for once.

"You are a puzzle," he breathed, lowering his face towards hers.  He looked conflicted, as though he was struggling to come to terms with her presence before him, even though he was the one holding her still.  Rikku blinked, unable to do anything but stare as her heart beat a staccato rhythm.  

"Trying to unearth your secrets is... tempting," he murmured, his eyes roving over her face, as if he was looking at her for the first time.  The most he’d ever said about her appearance was that she bore an uncanny similarity to her aunt Raenn; maybe he was trying to take his own advice.

Rikku was not feeling quite as adventurous - searching his face seemed like a moot point when his lips were  _ that close _ to her own.  It was hard enough trying to resist her own urge to lean in and test them.  Were they as soft as they looked?  Auron’s mouth was moving, but his words were being drowned out by her own heartbeat.

"But - what you feel, Rikku..."  His grip loosened.

_ Kiss! _ Rikku thought hazily.

"Who you see... that man is not me."

_ Kiss me now, you idiot! _ she railed, still zeroed in on his lips.

"And I cannot... no.   _ Will _ not be him."

Something clicked as his lips drifted away.   _ Still not kissed! _ her mind screamed, preparing to take over and drag Auron down to extract satisfaction whether he wanted to kiss her or not, consequences be damned.  She gained control over herself before the "conversation" turned into a wrestling match and tried to sway him with a little good old-fashioned Rikku-style logic.

"Well, we could still... um... hang out together, right?  Like we're doing right now?"   _ Except closer.  Like, say, if you were holding me on your lap instead of on this stupid stone, _ her mind supplied.  "You could just be yourself!  Honest!"

Auron's fingers flexed against her forearms.  His eyes were so dark - she hadn't had the opportunity to see them this close since he had first stared her in the face all those years ago.   Why in Shiva's name hadn't she realized how beautiful they were?  A heavy sense of anticipation filled her, and she leaned forward, letting her own fall shut as she puckered her lips.

"I can't do that, Rikku."

_ That was not a kiss.   _ Rikku’s eyes flew open.  She voiced the first, immediate thought that came to mind.  "Why not?"

Auron sighed, though he didn't release her - which she noted with glee.  "You asked if I wanted to know why you kissed Braska.  I think you should ask  _ yourself _ that question first."

Rikku twisted out of Auron's grasp.  So he  _ was _ jealous!  With a great amount of effort, she ignored the urge to celebrate.  "But that was because of Jecht!  Him and his stupid bet!  That wasn't my fault!"

Auron sat back, his expression closing.  "Jecht may have many flaws, but intentionally wounding Braska isn’t one of them.  And no -" he added with a quick look, "I don’t believe that’s your intent, either.  But what you gave Braska was more than a simple kiss.  Surely you understand that."

Rikku sat back, stumped.  No, she  _ didn't _ understand that.   _ More than a kiss? _  "Back up there!  What do you mean?  That was just an innocent peck on the cheek!"

The hard stare Auron gave her made Rikku want to disappear into her boots.

"What?  It was just a stupid bet!  It didn’t mean anything!"

"You gave him hope, Rikku. Something you wouldn't have done if you had no feelings for him, no matter which inane games you play with Jecht."

"Of course I have feelings for Braska!" Rikku sputtered.  "He's my un... uhh, he's  _ family!  _  I love him!  Just not the way you think I do."

The conflicted, vulnerable Auron she’d witnessed moments before was disappearing behind his wall of granite, though his eyes remained locked on her own.  “I was Braska's companion long before you even knew of him."  He paused to regard Braska.  "Lord Braska is not your brother in blood.  He’s well within his right to pursue you - if that’s what you both wish."

“No way!  That’s not what I want!”  Rikku felt herself turn colder than Shiva at Auron’s mention of her “ _ brother. _ ”   _ That's _ who Auron thought she was?  Raenn's  _ sister? _  Technically, what Auron said was true - she  _ wasn’t _ related to Braska by blood.  The only problem was that Auron was dead wrong - and besides, Braska was Yuna's  _ father. _  Friends didn't jump other friends' dads - that was just  _ gross. _

“I don't like him!  I like  _ you! _  Even Jecht knows that!"  Rikku pinned Auron under a challenging stare, ignoring her own gut reaction to turn around and run away while squealing in the highest pitch possible.   _ I can't believe I just said that.  Goodbye, dignity!  Hello, embarrassment!  Well... what’s done is done. _  Second-guessing herself was a sure-fire way to guarantee a loss in her stare-down war with Auron.  "I think you've started to like me, too.  So what's the problem here?  Am I not good enough for you?"

Auron grimaced, startled by her accusation.  "Don't try to make this an issue of race, Rikku.  Or have you already forgotten your own prejudice?  Maybe you should don that magic armor of yours if you need a reminder."

“Is that what you really want right now, huh?”

Auron sighed.  "That wasn't - Rikku," he tried again, rubbing a hand over his face in an oddly familiar gesture - one that had stuck with the older Auron over the years.  "I don't know what you want.  But what I’m trying to explain is that  _ you _ don't know, either."

Rikku grit her teeth.  "Hey!  I know exactly what - no,  _ who _ \- I want!  Stop putting words in my mouth!"  She bit off the sentence before she could tack on a  _ "and try your tongue instead," _ but Auron still gave her a knowing stare. 

_ What am I missing here? _ Rikku thought.  Her confusion must have shown, because Auron answered her question without any prompting.

"There is much more to a relationship than physical attraction," Auron told her.  "What you think you feel, what you see in me - and yes, even what  _ I _ feel - that isn't enough.  It's not enough for me, it wouldn't be enough for you and it's certainly not enough to force onto Braska.  There are no fairy-tale romances in Spira, Rikku."

“Leave Braska out of this!”  So what if he was right - maybe there weren’t any happy endings in this Spira, this past, foreign world of his.  That didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to try.  “This is between you and me right now.”

"Look, I don't know what happened in your clan, or why you’re exiled," Auron said.  "But I can tell you that Braska is a good man, despite what you may have been told to believe.  You don't have to feel shame or disgrace for returning his feelings.  You don't have to run away from him."

Rikku studied Braska, still sleeping and unaware of their late night discussion and his own role in it.  "Auron, you don't know what you're talking about," Rikku began, but he cut her off.

"You're a liar,  _ Rikkma, _ " he told her.  "You've lied about your past.  You've lied about your feelings for me.  Now you're lying to yourself about your feelings for Braska as well.  You've lied so much that I wonder if you even know truth anymore."  His words were harsh, but his tone was not full of censure, as she would have expected.  "You know what he sees in you, yet you continue to encourage him - with your smiles, your touches, your kind words and now even a kiss.  You're not cruel, Rikku.  But you are naive."

_ He's wrong.  Auron's  _ **_wrong._ **  Rikku tore her eyes away from Braska.  "You mean I should push him away then?  Be mean to him so he won't get his hopes up?  Tell him a dramatic story about how it's not meant to be over a campfire?"  She shook her head, braids and beads slapping into her face and stinging her cheeks.  "Just like you right now.  Well you know what I think?  I think you’re using Braska as an excuse.  You're just  _ afraid _ of me, yeah!"  Rikku huffed and waited for his reply.  The silence loomed, but she hunched her shoulders and refused to give up.  She could wait forever for  _ this _ answer.

A dry laugh, unexpected, broke the tense silence.  "Maybe you're right," Auron admitted.  "I am pushing you away.  But you know why.  I don't want to be someone else for you."  His eyes lost their amusement when he looked up again.  "I don't know  _ what _ I feel, but at least I know what I  _ don’t _ want."  He fell quiet, his own challenge still unyielding.

Rikku flushed and peered at Braska.  She won the battle... sorta.  Auron's answer was as raw and honest as it could get, she couldn't deny that.  But it still didn't change anything.   _ Well I know that I don't want to be Raenn.  Maybe I do need to start being meaner to Braska.  Just because he has it hard doesn't mean I should be leading him on. _

Braska sighed and shifted, rolling to his side.  The glimpse of his face she caught was contorted with the remnants of some bad dream, but it passed as quickly as it came, and his features soon returned to their slack, unguarded state.  Yuna had suffered from those dreams too, Rikku recalled, after she started collecting aeons.

"They say summoning changes a person," she remarked, feeling an urge to move to Braska's side and rest her hand against his forehead, to try and soothe away the worries and the dreams that she  _ knew _ were plaguing him.  But instead she caught herself and scowled at Auron.  "You think showing someone a little compassion is a sign of being in love?  You know, you're pretty messed up, Auron.  I don't want to know what your family was like."

"Compassion," Auron echoed, a humorless smile back in place.  "Is that what you call this.  Hnn," he added, looking away.

The conversation died out, and though they were sitting right next to each other Rikku felt tired and alone.  Auron's words bothered her - but not as much as they  _ should have. _  All things considered, he didn't seem very upset with her either, despite their obvious disagreement.  Most of all, though, Rikku was surprised that she wasn't angrier at his accusations of her own supposed feelings for Braska.  

_ Well, it's because I  _ **_do_ ** _ love Braska, _ she reasoned.   _ Just in a different way.  I thought he could understand that. _

"I'm sorry for treating you like somebody else.  Someone you're not," Rikku said.  "You were right about that.  But -"  She took a deep breath.  "I'm willing to do what it takes to prove that I really like you.   _ You, _ Auron.  Not someone who looks like you.  Not just my memories."

Auron glanced at her warily.  "Don't try to kiss me," he said with a faint look of alarm.  

Rikku rolled her eyes.  "Hey, how'd you know I was even thinking - oh, forget it!  Besides, I didn't win the part of the bet where I got to kiss you anyway, not that you'd believe that."  She shrugged.  "But I do want something from you, to show you that I'm serious.  At least give me the chance to change your mind," she pressed.

"Something," Auron repeated after a short, thoughtful pause. "You've already taken my sword, my bracer, and all of my money.  What more do you want?"

Rikku grin reappeared as the atmosphere relaxed between them.  A glint entered her eye, and Auron grimaced as he followed her gaze.

“Stop right there!”  Auron shut her down with a look of panic before she could reach his belt buckle.

"Aww, c'mon!  Then at least gimmie your coat!  I won't damage it, I swear!"

After the ensuing brief but quiet struggle, Rikku managed to wrest the coat off of him and gather it in her lap.  He’d let her win to keep from waking Braska and Jecht, but she wasn't going to quibble over the details.  A win was a win, fair or not.  "See?" she whispered.  "You  _ do _ like me!"

"I didn't want to disturb the others with your incessant scheming," Auron grumbled, crossing his arms.  Which, without the bulky fabric of his coat sleeves to hide them in, were laid bare to the world in all of their muscular glory.

_ Holy moley, he's hot, _ Rikku reminded herself, biting her lip and trying not to stare.  Auron cleared his throat with a smug look, and Rikku blanched and scowled half-heartedly at him.  She couldn't hold the frown, however, just gave up trying as she delved into the coat, running her fingers over the fabric.  A thousand ideas raced through her head.  She settled on the least offensive one, abandoning the cloth to dig through her supply pouch.

"I'm gonna put a little Rikku-certified chic into this thing, mister.  I mean, red is such a total fashion mistake, if you ask me.  It makes you look fat.  It could make anybody with abs of steel and a skin-tight bodysuit look fat.  Just look at Nooj!  ...never mind about that last part."

She chattered away as she worked, grabbing her soldering iron and a few scraps of metal out of the bag.  Gathering together everything she needed, Rikku began tooling the shoulder-guard of the coat.  

"If you're gonna go flamboyant, then do it with a little bit of style.  You should wear your coat off the shoulder or something.  Y'know, one arm in, one arm out.  It'll look fantastic on you!"  She snuck a calculating glance at Auron's biceps.  "And this should help a little with the protection too," Rikku added, ducking back as a few sparks flew from the tips of the metal she was working.  "Everything could use a little of that good ol' Al Bhed flair!"  Finishing up - it was primarily a decorative modification, after all - Rikku blew on the still-glowing shoulder guard and then held up the fabric to display her handiwork to Auron. "Well, what do you think?"

Silence.  

Rikku scowled.  "What, don't you like it?" 

"You... have taken the traditional uniform of Yevon's warrior monks and decorated it with an Al Bhed design," Auron observed.  He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at her.  "Do you take pleasure in insulting the Church at every turn?"

Rikku didn't have to think about that one. "Well, yeah, actually, I guess I do.  But this time it's just a neat little bonus."

"A bonus to what...?" Auron trailed off, reaching for the coat.

Rikku frowned.  "Oh, stop being so sarcastic," she said to him, refusing to relinquish the cloth.   There was no way she was going to give this to him if he was going to make fun of it, or worse yet,  _ insult _ it.  "I just wanted to give you a little piece of me.  You know," she added, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second.  "Something that will last - you can take it with you, no matter where you go."  

Her voice faltered, and the coat slipped through her fingers as a faint sense of panic bloomed.  _ Did I reach too far?  Maybe he really doesn't like it.  He said it was a uniform?  Oh, great, don’t tell me Auron gets hung up on things like that... _  Rikku closed her eyes and stifled her groan.  And here she'd been trying to help ease the tension between them, for crying out loud!

A sudden, unexpected pressure on her hands caused Rikku's eyes to fly open.  Auron's larger, pale fingers slid over her own, tracing the designs on the warmed metal in her grasp.

"I am... honored.  Thank you, Rikku," he murmured, more gently than she had ever heard him speak.  "I will wear it with pride."  Catching himself, he withdrew his fingers and frowned.  "Lord Braska will be pleased to see it, of course.”

Rikku smiled at Auron and pulled the coat out of his grasp, swatting his hands away.  "Wait, there's one last thing I want to do to it."  She dove back into her supply pouch, searching for something that would better reflect her feelings for him.  When her hand finally closed around one of their few, precious phoenix downs, Rikku felt her smile widen.  "I know exactly what this needs," she murmured, drawing out the fluffy feather and one other, more familiar set of beads.  She strung the feather around the looped thread and reached for his shoulder guard.  A few sparks later, and the beaded hair-cord Yuna had made was dangling from the back of his coat, the small feather at its end twisting through the air.  "There," Rikku sighed, blowing on the metal to cool it.  "Now it's perfect."

"That is Besaid-style knotwork," Auron observed with interest.  "Those are very rare and expensive to obtain.  You've been to Besaid before?"  He sounded surprised.

"I knew someone from there once," Rikku explained, pleased with her work.

"Thank you," Auron repeated dubiously.  "But... why this, and the feather?  I can hardly wait to hear what Jecht will say about it.”

Rikku stuck out her tongue. "Oh, come on.  You're man enough to wear Besaid hair-braids, right?  Besides, with arms like those and that sword, nobody will laugh at you.  Just keep one out there for everyone to see and people will be too busy looking at your guns to notice the feather anyhow."

"Hnn," Auron grunted, but he did stand up and slip the coat on.  "I'll keep that in mind."  Though he shrugged out of one sleeve, he continued to hide his arm from her view within the bulky coat.  He looked down at her, one eyebrow quirked.  "And does this meet with your approval, then?  Or do I need to start wearing sunglasses next?  Maybe a new hairstyle?" he suggested. 

Rikku smiled, planting her chin in one hand.  "Naw.  I think you're good the way you are right now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 7/16. Made a small error correction about the Al Bhed clan.
> 
> Rikku’s coat modification turns Auron’s normal red coat into his Kingdom Hearts outfit.
> 
> When Rikku says “your guns” to Auron, she means his biceps.
> 
> After I wrote this chapter, someone explained to me that the tradition of leaving one arm hanging out of the yukata was a sign of having suffered through some sort of dishonor. I ultimately decided not to port that aspect of Japanese culture over into this universe.


	20. Sheer Luck

"C'mon, man, gimmie a break!"  Jecht's bellow echoed across the clearing.  "I'm too tired to do this!  I need a time-out!"

"The fiends will not be as accommodating as I am," came Auron's curt reply.  There was the sound of clashing metal, and then -

"OWW!  Damn it, Auron, I can't feel my wrists anymore!"

"That yell of pain tells me otherwise.  Now take up your sword."

The short moment of silence that followed was soon punctuated by more grumbling.  Then the sound of a scuffle filled the air once more.  Rikku sighed and shook her head before risking a glance at Braska, who was tending to the remains of their makeshift camp.  "Auron's being pretty tough on him, huh?" she observed.

Braska nodded, wrapping up his bedroll.  "He may seem harsh, but Jecht has found himself a competent teacher."  He paused.  "Auron would not try quite so hard if Jecht did not show at least some promise."

There was another loud ring, and then more of Jecht's increasingly creative obscenities on Auron, his sword technique, his lineage and how the two meshed together filtered through.

"... Once he learns how to keep his grip on his sword," Braska added as an afterthought.  Finishing with his bundle, he stood and shook out his robes.  "But the lesson is over for today.  It is time we moved on."  Stooping down, he scooped Auron's pack from the ground and made his way over to the two swordsmen.

Rikku kicked at the ground before rolling to her feet.  "I was afraid you were gonna say that," she mumbled, shouldering her pack.  Grabbing Jecht's, she trailed after him.  As she pulled alongside the three men, she tossed it toward Jecht, nearly hitting him in the face and earning more than a few of his colorful expletives.  

Ignoring his insults, she addressed Braska.  "Do you think we could at least wait until it stopped raining?  Jecht does need more practice, after all."  She was met by more swearing and ducked a half-hearted blow from the man in question.

"That storm never ends," Auron interrupted.  "Unless you want to take up permanent residence in Macalania, it's time to move on."

"Yeah," agreed Jecht a bit too hastily.  "We need to get back to civilization.  Y'know, with people.  And food.  And bars," he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

Braska smiled in sympathy.  "While I can not say that I approve of the bars, I fear I must agree with Jecht.  Djose Temple is our next destination, and to reach it we must cross the Thunder Plains."

"I know, I know," Rikku replied.  "It's just... well, I don't really like thunder all that much."  Stubbing a toe into the ground, she frowned.  It had been a while since she’d overcome her crippling fear of thunder, but that didn't mean she enjoyed travelling through the Thunder Plains. In fact, the only instance she could recall appreciating any time spent there was during Yuna's concert - and that was more due to the fact that the storm had actually broken, rather than the concert itself.  

She looked up to see the others studying her.  Well, Auron and Braska.  Jecht looked smug, and too late she realized she’d given him ample ammunition to use for the rest of the Pilgrimage.  Rolling her eyes, she stiffened her back in a show of bravery, planting her hands on her hips.  "Whatever," she said with more confidence than she felt.  "I won't slow us down."

Still, as the small group made their way to the edge of the wet, darkened fields of rock, Rikku found her feet slowing.  Lightning flashed, and she jumped, barely stifling her squeak of dismay.  Braska was busy explaining the quirks of the never-ending storms and lightning strikes to Jecht, who was listening with too-eager anticipation.

_It figures,_ Rikku thought.  Only someone like Jecht would be excited at the possibility of getting barbequed by a lightning bolt.  There was another flash of light, followed by a loud crack of thunder.  With a sense of foreboding, Rikku looked up, then leapt away as a sizzling bolt charred the ground at her feet.  Scowling, she rolled off of her butt and inspected her now-thoroughly-soaked skirt.  Then she shook a fist at the sky.  

"Hey, aim at one of those taller guys over there!"  She pointed at Jecht.  "Just fry one of the guys carrying those lightning rods on their back and leave me alone!"  The sky rumbled ominously in response, and Rikku groaned.

"Looks like you got all the luck, Blondie!" Jecht called out to her with a grin.  He followed it up with a whoop as another blast of lightning struck a few feet away, causing her to cringe and jump once more.

Rikku growled at Jecht, but his comment had her fingering the Garment Grid.  She looked at the new sphere she’d placed in it and wondered if it would work.  Shinra wasn't there to fix it if anything went wrong, but then again - she'd made this sphere herself, and she didn't _really_ believe Jecht's personality would be a hostile one.   _Embarrassing,_ maybe, but not _malicious._  

_Besides,_ Rikku thought to herself as she tapped the Sphere Break game she’d recorded, _the worst it can do is not work, right?_  "Guys," she called out after a moment's consideration.  "I'm gonna try something, okay?  Don't freak out!"

Auron's eyebrows shot up.  " _Something?_ " he asked, a dark look clouding his features.  "Define _something._ "

Braska saw Rikku toying with her belt.  "You are going to use your magic again," he observed.  "But why?"

"Who cares why?"  Jecht jumped in excitement - avoiding another thunderbolt in the process.  "C'mon, just do it already!  I've been waitin' to see this since forever!"

Rikku rolled her eyes in exasperation.  At least she could trust Jecht to make sphere changing seem like nothing more than a trip down one of Luca's fashion runways.  Still somewhat nervous, she looked to Braska for approval, rather than jumping headlong into her plan.  "It's a new sphere," she told him, sensing the dark look Auron was shooting her over Braska's shoulder.  "I'm, umm, well, I'm not really sure what it'll do, but I don't think it'll hurt anybody.   _And_ ," she added, seeing Auron shift his weight, "I think it'll even help us cross the Thunder Plains if it works."

Braska looked contemplative, then gave her a slow nod.

"My lord - !" Auron protested, still not enamoured with the idea of Rikku changing into one of her costumes.  

She frowned at him, then tempered the look with a guilty wince.  In all honesty, Auron had yet to have a good experience with one of her "enhanced" personalities to date.  Then she lifted her chin.  _Well, that’s just going to have to change._  She wasn't about to give up using one of the few advantages she had on this Pilgrimage just because it made Auron uncomfortable.  In fact, she considered it suitable revenge for when he made her feel clumsy and awkward just by being his normal, competent, muscle-bound self.  Which was pretty much _always._  She smirked and turned her attention back to Braska.

"Go ahead, Rikkma," Braska told her.  "Your magic is a resource that none of us can afford to ignore at the moment."  His tone was light, but in it were the underpinnings of a faint command; again, her fault.  They were short on money and supplies, and Braska was making clear that no advantage, no matter how uncomfortable it might be for the group, was to be turned away.

"So what’cha gonna change into now, Blondie?" Jecht asked, missing the subtle undertones of the conversation in favour of ogling Rikku.  "Tell me it's a blitzer!"

"It is, in a way," Rikku admitted, her hand hovering over the sphere belt.  "It's you.  Well, a recording I made of you."  She tried valiantly to ignore how both Auron and Braska blanched at the news while Jecht let out another triumphant cheer.

"Ya know, there can be only one Sublimely Magnificent Jecht, but I really can't blame ya for trying," he crowed.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Auron muttered to Braska, whose calming smile was beginning to look strained.  "How is this supposed to help us cross the Thunder Plains?" he added with more volume.

"Stop looking so glum, I'm on it too!"  Rikku ignored the groan emanating from Auron and the tightening of Braska's smile and pushed on.  "And it's not so much a recording of Jecht, but what he was doing."

Auron sighed and passed a hand over his eyes.  "I find myself _gushing_ with relief," he deadpanned.  Then he shrugged and gripped his sword.  "Perhaps you should just stop talking and get it over with," he grumbled.  "I'm sure Lord Braska and I will be able to adequately _handle_ the fallout."

"Hey, stop talkin' like it's gonna be a bad thing!" Jecht protested.  "It’s ME after all!"  The rumbling of thunder cut through the silence following his declaration.

Rikku shrugged.  "Well, here goes nothing!"  She sucked in her breath and activated the sphere.  A swirl of energy surrounded her, and she tipped her head back and spread her arms to welcome it.  The change felt slow, sluggish almost; she wondered what kind of tuning Shinra did to the spheres before he allowed them to be used.  It felt as though there was something blocking her.   The potential was there, scraping and moving under the surface of the swirling energy, but no feelings of being overtaken, being replaced by something - or someone - else pushed through to the surface.  Frowning, Rikku squeezed her eyes shut and delved more deeply into the power flowing around her.  The more she chased and grasped after the elusive energy, however, the faster it slipped from her reach.

_Come on, come on!_  Somehow she was convinced that Yuna wouldn't have had this problem; probably even Braska could draw out whatever was hiding in the sphere.  But Rikku wasn't a summoner, not by a long shot, and after a moment the light swirling around her died.  Cracking her eyes open, Rikku looked at her hands - and let out an exhausted sigh.  There was no change, and she grunted in frustration and wiped the sweat from her brow.

"What went wrong?" Braska asked, sensing her disappointment.

"I don't know!" Rikku snapped, more harshly than she intended to.  She ducked her head.  "Sorry.  I was just hoping it would work, but I guess I really am out of luck.  It was a long shot anyway."

Braska stepped towards her; the rain was plastering the cloth of his circlet to his head, and Rikku realized that _she_ was the reason the rest of the group was getting soaked - without making any progress through the dangerous fields.

"It's okay, let's just forget about it -" she began, but stilled when Braska reached out and clasped her hands.

"Your belt... it summons the memories of the things you record in your spheres," he said.  "Is that not what you told me?"

Surprised, Rikku could only nod.  Braska gave her another smile of encouragement.  "Do not give up hope, Rikkma.  You yourself know how long it took for me to master the summoning of an aeon.  Try not to fight with your memories.  A summoner cannot struggle against the aeon he bonds himself to, for it would destroy him.  It is only when we learn to fully accept the Fayth into our hearts and minds that they come to us."

Rikku had never questioned what it was like for summoners before; she just knew there was a lot of sweat and fatigue involved from whatever went on behind those closed doors.  Now, though, she wondered at the precious, jealously guarded information that Braska was letting her hear.  "So summoning - it's not really about pulling out all that power, but giving into it?"

Braska's eyes warmed as he nodded.  "It takes a great deal of trust... trust that the power you deliver yourself to will not harm you.  Trust, and confidence.  Summoning is about letting go of yourself and becoming one with something greater."

Mulling over his words, Rikku thought about Anima and couldn't help but let out a convulsive shudder.  How in Spira had Yuna ever managed to master that dark, restless aeon?  As if sensing her unease, she felt Braska's hands tighten over her own as he continued.

"But it is also about trust in yourself," he told her.  "The Summon becomes a part of your own soul.  If you know yourself - if you _accept_ yourself - you will not be harmed."  He stepped closer to her.  "You are a strong, good-hearted woman.  Trust in yourself, in your own abilities and powers, and you will master this sphere."  He leaned in, and she felt a gentle pressure at her cheek, and then he was moving away before she could even register the soft brush of his lips against her skin.  Rikku's hand flew to her face, her eyes wide with shock.

"For luck," he told her with a smile, gravitating back towards Auron, who had observed the entire display stoic indifference.  "I believe in you.  Try your sphere again."

Rikku nodded, her hand still on her cheek, which she was sure was starting to burn as red as Auron's coat.  She didn't dare shift her eyes towards the other man; she could tell from his posture alone that he had gone stock-still.  Even Jecht wasn't making a comment; rather, he was looking between Braska and Auron with a thoughtful, half-squinted expression that she hadn't seen for some time.

She took a deep breath.  With everyone remaining motionless, there were only two choices.   Either she could try again, or they could all became living lightning rods while waiting for the tension to break.  _Tough call._  Closing her eyes, she passed her hand over the dressphere and called forth the power it contained.

It leapt over her skin in a painful crackle of energy, surrounding her with light; Rikku felt herself cringing and trying to push away from it, to master it.  The sensation was a lot more raw and intense than her Shinra-prepared dresspheres, and she struggled for control.

_Trust in yourself._

She repeated Braska's words, forcing herself to stop fighting the conflicting swirls of energy.  Shoulders relaxing, her arms spread as electricity washed through her, at first burning and violent.  She struggled not to clench, to accept the foreign presence and almost-familiar thoughts that raced through her mind.  _You won't harm me,_ she thought to the strange _almost-consciousness_ that was taking a hold inside of herself.  The glow of the transformation surrounded her, and a smile played at her lips.  _You_ **_are_ ** _me._

She felt Jecht's wild laughter run through her, his overabundance of confidence and self-assurance.  She saw the coins glinting as they spun through the air, turning over and over on themselves.  And she saw herself, smiling as she deftly flipped the coins around her index fingers, her lips moving in a silent, rapid count.  She _was_ them; she was _all of them_ , and they were her.  Jecht tossed another coin, laughing in triumph as he won his bet, and with a start, Rikku realized it was she who was laughing.  Laughing and twirling on her toes as the light faded, leaving her standing among her friends in the midst of the dark, rain-soaked Thunder Plains.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" she heard Auron say.  The question wasn't directed at her.

"That is NOT me," came the quick answer from Jecht. "There is NO WAY that is me!" He was yelling now.

"Really," Auron was saying, this time his voice laden with amusement.  Braska was making a few very suspicious snorting sounds.

Deciding to take pity on her companion - he was, after all, the one who made this possible in the first place - Rikku completed her spin and snapped her cards around.  They whirled around her, lifting in an unnatural breeze and threading under her torso and over her chest before following the line of her arm and falling into place in her waiting, outstretched hand.  

"Of course it's not Jecht," she said.  Her voice was loud and bright, all traces of the timid fear she had felt earlier vanished.  "Do you think he could ever look this good in a million years?  This is one-hundred-percent yours truly!"  She winked and blew her friends a mocking kiss.

The men turned to her and she posed for them, completely unabashed by the triple set of stares she was receiving.  "See something you like?" she asked them.

"I see the resemblance now," Auron said, his eyes rolling upwards.

Rikku pouted, jutting a hip out as she tapped the bottom of her chin with her cards.  She _knew_ the sphere was working, just as surely as she _knew_ no amount of falling rain would be able to plaster down the feather ornament that was woven into her hair.  "Well, I can't help it if you boys can't keep your eyes off of my sexy bod!" she purred, winking at him.

" 'ey hey hey," Jecht broke off, waving his hand at Rikku.  "C'mon, I'm not really like that, am I?  Besides," he added, turning a gleaming eye on her.  "There's only one _sexy bod_ on this Pilgrimage, and it don't belong to you."

"Humph, I wonder what Braska and Auron would say about that," Rikku teased, her blood warming at the thought of some - _any, really_ \- competition.  "Wanna bet on it?"

"I think not," Braska said, managing to recover his voice.  He coughed, carefully manoeuvring his eyes to remain planted on Rikku's face.  "While I am pleased by your success, Rikkma, I'm afraid I fail to see how this new outfit of yours will assist us in our travels."

"What he means is how the hell are ya gonna cross the Thunder Plains in heels?" Jecht added, sidling up to her and giving her skimpy yellow dress a critical once-over.  In response, Rikku let out a shrill, confident laugh, crossing an arm over her mouth.  "I do NOT laugh like that," Jecht added sullenly.

"This is an outfit I'm familiar with," Rikku explained, slapping her cards into Jecht's face and sending him reeling backwards - and conveniently out of her arena of personal space.  The spotlight was only large enough for one, after all.  "I used to call it Lady Luck.  Although it _does_ feel like it has a few new touches."  She tapped her lip.  "I don't remember ever being this loud before," she admitted, then gave the others a winning smile.  "But I'm sure it's an improvement!"

"Of course," Auron repeated, still eyeing the flimsy yellow costume with distaste.  "How is it that you're managing to stay dry when the rest of us are soaked?"

Rikku winked and turned, sashaying onto the open plains.  "I guess I'm just lucky!" she crowed, tossing her cards into the air above her head.  Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed, coursing down towards her.  At the last moment, the bolt split, charring the ground on either side of where she stood.  Turning around, she gifted them with a winsome smile.  "Well? Are you boys coming, or do you want to wait and see how long it takes for your luck to run out?"

"That... could be useful," Braska observed as he gathered his robes and hurried after her.

"If you can put up with her long enough to stand it," Auron grumbled in reply.  

They both stopped short when Rikku threw a few cards at them.  The stack whirled in place, bathing them both in a burst of ephemeral petals of red and gold.

Rikku caught the returning cards with a snap.  "A little spell I call _Felicity,_ " she explained.  "You two shouldn't get hit by any lightning either, unless you want to be."  She winked at them.  "Stay close now, you wouldn't wanna be caught without me when it wears off!"

Jecht hobbled alongside them, peeling a stray card off of his cheek.  " ‘ey!" he grunted.  "What about me?"

Rikku narrowed her eyes and smirked.  "Well, I guess you'll just have to rely on your own good looks to get you through this one.”  She glanced at the sky.  "Oh, and you might wanna move.”

"Why?  All this star power blocking your limelight?" Jecht snapped back.  The sky flashed, and then a yelp filled the air along with the scent of burned hair.  Rikku looked down her nose at the man sprawled on the ground before her.

"Not anymore," she sniffed.

**.x.x.x.**

Despite the initial arguments, it didn't take long for Rikku and Jecht to become fast friends despite - or perhaps _because of_ \- the Lady Luck dressphere; altogether not too surprising, considering how much of her new personality was based off of Jecht's own.  Of course, her sudden competitive streak and the mixture of ballooning egos didn't allow _everything_ to proceed quite as smoothly as their easy banter.   In addition, she continued to refuse him her luck charms, given Jecht’s penchant to challenge her for the spotlight.  The Thunder Plains was _her_ stage, and if Jecht couldn’t concede gracefully, she’d let the lightning teach him better.

She noted with amusement that he was getting more adept at dodging the lightning strikes as they travelled deeper into the rain swept plains; the blitzball reflexes helped.  The singed toes he received when he didn't manage to jump away in time were an even greater motivator.

For as trouble-free as the actual trek through the Plains themselves were, there were still a few unpleasant surprises in store for the party.  Battles, as they quickly found out, were not quite as easy as before.  While her presence as Lady Luck seemed to grant a boon to their spoils of war - something they all sorely needed - there was a price to be paid for the sudden good fortune.

They discovered this with the first elemental monster they faced, which happened to be a disgruntled Gold Element.  Some quick defensive casting by Braska ensured that nobody was electrocuted, but it soon became clear that brute force was not the going to be the easiest solution to their monster problem.  And Rikku, as the resident black magic caster, stepped into her role.

She wasn't sure what made her gamble, or why; a sudden, capricious whim and the thought that the results might be amusing, perhaps.  Either way, she laughed with delight as she closed her eyes and spun her cards around, allowing the luck of the draw to choose her spell rather than pulling it out of the Conflagration Grid she wore.  Of course, even Lady Luck could have her dry spells, and her companions had been less than amused when she ended up hitting the thing with a _Thundara_ spell of her own.  After a confused scuffle, a hard-won victory, and a scathing bout of mostly ineffectual yelling on Auron's part, Braska diplomatically suggested that they relegate Rikku to the role of support, rather than attack.

That suited everyone, particularly Rikku, just fine, and she took a great deal of pleasure thereafter in randomly granting her companions luck blessings - though she did manage to "accidentally" knock out Jecht once.  "Oopsie! My mistake!" she had giggled to her incredulous companions.

Rikku sighed to herself as they strolled - or rather, as she strolled, and the rest of the Pilgrimage sludged - through the slick, treacherous path of the Plains.  There were advantages to wearing the Lady Luck sphere, she noted as she examined the finish of her lacquered nails.  A hazy, carefree lightness continually fogged her senses, and Rikku found she couldn't bring herself to truly worry - or even care - about most of their trip.  

The kiss Braska had given her no longer concerned her, though somewhere in the back of her mind something was screaming that it _should._  Auron's weary, guarded looks also made her smirk; she ignored the slight twinges of discomfort that those gave her and brushed it off as indigestion.  

More than once her erratic, carefree attitude landed her in trouble; the Iron Giant lair she inadvertently led them into on one of her "shortcuts" could have gotten messy, were it not for Braska's healing magic and Auron's skill with the blade.  Even her brushes with danger seemed to be cloaked in a gauzy haze, though; Rikku chuckled to herself, flicking her cards through her hands.   _Live for the moment, take a few risks.  Life is short, why should we worry about silly things like consequences?_ she mused, turning her head to eye Auron.

He caught her look and winced, and her smile widened.  She sauntered over to him, noting with disapproval that both arms had disappeared into the depths of his red coat.

"I thought I told you it looked better off the shoulder," she murmured, glancing up at him through lowered eyelashes.

Auron was silent for a moment before answering.  "I prefer to have some measure of protection from the elements," he told her, his voice bland.

"The elements aren't bothering me," Rikku replied, gesturing at the almost-indecent slit running down the center of her yellow dress.  "A little help might take care of that problem for you, too.  Say, a kiss?" she added with a wink.  "It's not often that fortune smiles on mankind, and even less often that she looks this _good._ "

Auron stared straight ahead.  His grip on the handle of his sword, which was slung loosely over one shoulder, tightened.  "Rikkma.  For Braska's sake, I am willing to grant you leniency for many of your actions."  He turned his gaze to her, and his eyes were hard.  "Don't push your luck.  Even the Lady's will run out eventually."  He turned away and stepped up his pace.

Rikku smirked, but allowed him to draw away.  "Maybe next time," she murmured with a twinge of disappointment.  She knew she looked great; the man would have to be dead to not notice the amount of thigh she was flashing or the way her dress plunged suggestively past her navel.  And she knew for a fact that he wasn't, _yet_.  She let out a disconsolate sigh and wished she had a mirror to check her appearance in.  Maybe she wasn't pouting enough?

A shout rose from the head of their group, and Jecht jogged back towards them, thoroughly soaked.  He paused to twist out of the way as a lightning bolt whizzed toward the spot he had been standing moments before.  "I see a building up there!" he shouted at them, pointing towards the top of the hill.  "Looks like some kinda travel agency!"

"Travel agency?"  Braska leaned on his staff with a look of surprise.  "Strange... it should have taken us longer to reach it.  The journey through the first half of the Plains is usually more than a day long."

"Maybe we got _lucky,_ huh?" Rikku boasted, prompting mutters and tired looks from every single one of her companions.  "What?"

"Can we ask her to go back to normal yet?" Jecht groaned.  "Dodgin' lightning is easier than putting up with that," he added, waving in Rikku's direction.

"I'm right here, you know."

"I must admit, I will be somewhat relieved when this leg of our journey is over," Braska agreed.

"Hey, not you, too!"  Rikku’s cards circled around her head in obvious agitation.

"Thank Yevon," Auron muttered, turning a pointed look towards her.  "Get out of that thing before someone sees you and questions us.  What we need now is discretion, not luck."

"Humph, fine, but I'll have you know that I _like_ this dressphere," Rikku replied to him cattily, holding her hand over her belt.  She released the magic, and it bled from her body in a rush, almost as quickly as her confidence faded.  Lightning roared overhead, and Rikku jumped in surprise - and then slipped against the slick path, dropping to her knees and landing face-first in the mud.  She pushed herself up from her prostrate position with a low groan.  "I _hate_ that dressphere," she grumbled, trying to slick the mud away from her face.

"I dunno, I could get to like it.  Look at these results!" Jecht laughed at her, reaching over and swiping a finger through some of the mud on her forehead before flicking it back towards her nose.  "I always thought you were supposed to wait for the spa before you got the facial."

"Oh, can it," she yelled, pushing herself to her feet.  She whirled on Auron and Braska, fists balled.  "And you two!  How could you let me go around making a _fool_ of myself like that all day? Ugh, I feel so -- ! so -- !"

"Dirty?" Jecht offered, shaking his mud-crusted finger off in the rain.

"At least I know where all the bad puns came from," Rikku shot back, glad that the mud mask she was currently wearing would at least hide the hot blush on her cheeks.  She stomped forward towards the travel agency, feeling a more than a little foolish and a lot humiliated.  A dresssphere based off of _Jecht's_ personality!  What had she been _thinking?_

A firm hand on her shoulder stopped her before she got far, and Rikku glanced around to see Auron holding her back.  She flushed, clearly remembering each and every one of her spurned attempts to flirt with him during their journey.  "Umm... about anything I might have said to you while... uh... _under the influence,_ " she mumbled.  "I'm really, really sorry, okay?"

He didn't answer, and Rikku thought her mud mask might start cracking off of her face in flakes from the burn in her cheeks.  "You could say something!" she squeaked, her color rising.

"Watching _you_ blush is much more entertaining than watching a false reflection of yourself trying to seduce me."  Rikku's embarrassment was waylaid by surprise as her mouth dropped.  Auron released her and let out a low chuckle, then threw a lump of soggy cloth at her.  She caught it and stared, bemused.

“This is my cloak from Bevelle!"  She shook it out.

"Wear it," Auron instructed her.  Then he looked at Braska.  "You too."

Braska was already removing his circlet and replacing it with one of the hooded cloaks they had worn through the snowy fields of Macalania.  Rikku allowed herself to be distracted by the sight of his long, brown braid - Braska never showed his hair, at least not normally - before turning back to Auron in confusion.

"The travel agency here is owned by the Al Bhed," Auron explained.  

Rikku felt a sudden thrill of elation run through her.   _Al Bhed!_  She'd nearly forgotten; the Thunder Plains Travel Agency had been one of Rin's first footholds into his wildly successful merchant chain enterprise.  She wondered eagerly if a younger version of the man might be there himself; he'd only be slightly older than she was at this point.  Forgetting the cloak in her hands, she turned eager eyes onto the Agency, thinking of how to greet her fellow kinsmen.

Jecht, who was listening in, had a less enthusiastic reaction - he rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.  "Here we go again," he muttered.  Then he tilted his head.  "Wait-a-minute.  Why would the Al Bhed be runnin' _anything_ for one of Yevon's Pilgrimages?"

"The Summoner's - _Pilgrimage,_ " Rikku amended before she could say _Sacrifice,_ "... affects us all.  Everyone wants to be free of Sin.  Even if we don't like the Church, that doesn't mean we should punish the Summoners."  She didn't add that the Thunder Plains was a barren, treacherous and highly unprofitable segment of the Pilgrimage, and that it was more of a reluctant concession to allow the Al Bhed a trading station in one of Spira's least desirable spots, rather than an act of true generosity.

Braska, fortunately, came up with a more diplomatic explanation before she had to.  "The Al Bhed are responsible for the care and maintenance of the lightning rods that draw the thunder strikes away from this path.  In thanks for their continued service and generosity, the Church of Yevon has offered them the trade rights to the area."  Even as he said it, thunder roared overhead, and they all looked up.

"Prime piece o' real estate, this here," Jecht observed.

Braska coughed into his long sleeve.  "Well... due to certain _circumstances_ , I am not what you might call _popular_ among the Al Bhed."  He pulled his hood up, letting it fall over to shade his features.  "I believe in this instance, it would be best to allow Auron to handle the negotiations."

"Jecht, you're with me.  Rikkma, you stay with Braska," Auron commanded, turning towards the agency.  Rikku's mouth dropped open, again, and she clutched the cloak in her tightening fist.

"Hey!  Hey wait a second, shouldn't I be the one coming with you?  I mean, _hello?_  Who speaks Al Bhed here?"  She grit her teeth as Braska raised a hand and Auron canted his head towards her.  "I mean who speaks Al Bhed _fluently_?" she added, flustered.

Auron sighed, tapping the sword against his back.  "If you insist, you can accompany me, Rikkma.  I'm surprised that you would be willing to risk identification by your own people, though.  An exiled Al Bhed, on a Pilgrimage with one of Spira's most notorious summoners," he pointed out.

Rikku's hopes fell.  Of course he was right; _smart_ Auron, _careful_ Auron, _always thinking ahead_ Auron.  Just - why did always being wrong have to hurt so bad?  Trembling, she dropped her head and slipped the cloak on over herself, pulling up the hood to hide her long, blonde hair.

Auron said nothing, though his lips were twisted into a frown; in sympathy, perhaps, but still uncompromising.  "You can both wait for us outside the doors, but try not to be seen until I come out again.  They can't turn us away once we've secured the rooms."  He regarded her for a moment longer, then swivelled around.  "Jecht," he called, striding towards the agency.

Rikku watched him go, wiping a drop of muddy rain off of her nose. _Definitely rain,_ she told herself sternly as she looked down.

A pair of waterlogged robes moved into place next to her boots.  Her eyes followed them upwards; under the hood of his soaking cloak, she could barely make out Braska’s tranquil expression.  He made no move to follow Auron towards the building, preferring instead to face the consuming dark of the wilderness.  Rikku joined his observation of the never-ending storm, watching lightning strike the landscape at regular intervals.

She struggled for words of comfort to give to Braska, whom she knew was suffering just as much as she was, if not more.  Hers was an artificial prison; one fraught with personal risk, but an exile by choice, even if the others didn't realize it.  Braska's suffering, on the other hand - that was _real._  She wanted to comfort him, to tell him that he wasn't alone, that people didn't hate him for who he was, or whom he married.  But Spira was a cruel world, and Braska had clear eyes.  Thunder rolled across the plains, and she reached out and slipped her hand into his.  It was cold and limp, and had she not grasped him, it would have fallen out of her grip.

Rikku swallowed. " _You still have us_ ," she said, reverting to Al Bhed. " _Me, Auron, Jecht... and Yuna.  We're your clan now.  We'll always be your clan._ "

Braska sucked in his breath and turned his head towards her, his blue eyes piercing in their honesty.  " _Truly?_ " he replied, also in Al Bhed.  " _Why, then, can't you tell me your real name?_ "

Rikku bit her lip, hard. She felt her teeth cut into the soft flesh, felt blood mixing with the flow of rainwater, saliva and mud on her tongue.  Even though both were blue, she still thought he had Yuna's eyes.  Yuna, to whom she could refuse nothing.  And she was tired, as tired of secrets as Braska was of exile.

She opened her mouth and gasped in air.  A slow trickle of warm blood leaked down her chin, cooling rapidly.  "My name is --"

Braska silenced her with hand to her mouth; the gentle warmth of a healing spell washed across her skin, closing the wound with a quiet whisper.  His finger lingered across her bottom lip for a heartbeat too long before he drew it away; even as the tickle of magic faded, Rikku still felt an electric tingle where he had touched her.  He turned his face away.

"I am strong enough to face Sin... to see my own death, to continue to hold Jecht to his ignorance, to abandon my own daughter.  But..." His hand spasmed around hers before loosening.  "... I do not want to know your real name.  I don't think I could bear it, Rikkma.  I don't think I could bear to lose her twice."

Rikku blinked as a particularly spectacular bolt of lightning roared to life before them, striking close to where they both stood.  Neither flinched.

"I'm not your wife," she said.  "I'm not some pyrefly construct of memories come back to haunt you.  You won't have to Send me anywhere."

Braska shuddered.  "But you are different, Rikkma.  I can _feel_ it.  I feel it in my soul, I feel it in the aeons who bond with me.  I feel it when they gaze at you, when you ask them your silent questions and that part of them which is _not me_ answers."

She tensed, and he hesitated.

"No," he decided.  "Don't tell me."  Rikku looked at him in surprise, and he gave her a wan smile.  "I, too, need my illusions."  He began to extract his hand from her grip, and she caught it and held on.

"I meant everything I said.  Whatever you might think of me, our friendship isn't an illusion."  She willed him to believe her.  He stared back, but she refused to release his hand until the despair receded from his eyes.  "You're not alone," she told him.  "We'll be with you until the end.  _All_ of us."

"Don't promise that," he chastised her.  "I know what it is to live with your heart torn in two.  You don't belong here... you wish to return to your home, wherever that is.  My path seeks to bring life to Spira, but I will pay the debt accrued with my own death.  If you have the chance to find your own happiness, it's your duty to take it.  It's what I wish for you.  It's what I ask of all of you, even of Auron.  Your paths are not set, not as mine is.  I would tell Jecht the same, if we found the chance to send him back to his Zanarkand.  Leave, and never turn back to this journey of sorrows."

Rikku dropped her head, feeling ashamed.  There was nothing she could say to that; _know yourself,_ Braska told her.  And in her heart, Rikku knew that what he offered then was everything that she really wanted.  Hearing it come from his own lips, however, only made it sound selfish.

Braska straightened, his face gentle.  "Ah, but I should apologize, Rikkma.  Forcing us both to stand in this rain.  Come, let us take shelter from this storm," he said, offering her the crook of his arm.  Feeling numb, Rikku took it and allowed herself to be led to safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 7/16. I know light travels faster than sound, but not in the Thunder Plains. That's canon. Thanks, SqEn.


	21. Fancy Footwork

Rikku looked up from her perch on the steps as Jecht stooped over the rough-cut sign.  Braska had retreated into the building to dry off once the blitzer made his appearance and gave them the all-clear.  

Rikku was grateful for that, feeling subdued and uncertain in Braska’s presence.  Jecht was as oblivious as ever; his newfound serendipity was due in part to the large bottle of Al Bhed  _ paan _ he was currently nursing.  He'd gravitated to the public notice posted just outside the door.

Bored, but not yet willing to relocate indoors, Rikku kicked her heels against the soggy ground.  "What's it say?"

"Dodge and Win," Jecht read out loud.  "Says here the more you dodge, the more you can win.  You just gotta register with that Hypello inside."  He smiled toothily, polishing off the rest of his drink before tossing it over his shoulder and letting the empty bottle roll down the hillside.  Rikku squeaked in protest, then shrugged in resigned dismay.

"So are you gonna do it?" she asked.

"Why the hell not?" Jecht replied, making his way back into the building.  Moments later he emerged again, this time with Auron, Braska and a Hypello trailing after him.  The Hypello paused upon seeing Rikku, taking in her crop of blonde hair and swirled pupils, then gave a small shrug and continued shuffling -- as if seeing an Al Bhed on Pilgrimage was an everyday occurrence.  Rikku grinned.  Sometimes she just  _ loved _ the Hypello.

"Yoo jump the lightning?" the Hypello crooned, blinking at Jecht.

"That's right!" Jecht boasted, puffing out his chest.  "Just you watch, I'm gonna win ALL them prizes!"

"There are no adoring fans to impress here, Jecht," Rikku pointed out.

Unperturbed, Jecht cracked his neck and rubbed the back of his head.  "Who cares?  We'll get free stuff, won't we?  Just call it pullin' my weight.  'Sides, I made Auron buy the beer."

"If just to shut him up," Auron explained sourly.  "Before you start playing any more of your ridiculous games, there's something we need to discuss.  Alone," he added, shooting a glare over his shoulder at their extra guest.  The Hypello blinked and wandered towards the sign, uninterested in whatever it was they had to talk about.

"Auron!" Rikku hissed, glaring at him.  "That was rude!"

Auron shrugged, unconcerned.  "Hypellos don't waste time with useless frivolities.  Neither do I." He frowned.  "However I called this meeting because we have a slight problem."

"Problem?" Braska asked.  He had pulled down his hood to replace the helmet on his head, and for a moment Rikku mourned the loss of his braid.  He seemed smaller and more human without the ritualistic trappings of Yevon that he chose to wear.

"Yes.  There's another group of travellers staying at the agency tonight, and there was only one room available.  It will not be comfortable."  All three sets of eyes swivelled to look at Rikku. Jecht was the first to respond with a widening smile.

"Finally," he snorted.  "The little princess has to share digs just like the rest of us.  Welcome to the real world, Blondie."

Auron glowered at Jecht.  "Perhaps we should just let  _ you _ sleep outside.  You are the one who snores, after all."

"It's not a big deal," Rikku said.  "I'll sleep on the floor; I'm used to roughing it.  In fact, if this works out maybe we can save a little money later on and just bunk up together whenever we stop to rest at an inn.  It's not like we don't camp together already, right?"

Braska looked as if he was on the verge of objecting, but Auron cut off his protest with a firm shake of his head.  "They don't have the space and we don't have the money to negotiate.  Unless you want to sleep in the rain tonight, it's this or nothing."  Thunder cracked, and Rikku found herself nodding.

"Say 'yes' already!"

Braska still looked hesitant, but after a short internal struggle, he sighed and dropped his shoulders.

"It seems we are determined to break every rule on this Pilgrimage.  Very well.  Though I apologize for any harm that may come to your reputation, Rikkma."

Rikku rolled her eyes.  "I'm Al Bhed.  I can take a few hits; stop worrying already.”  

Braska looked down in quiet dismay and pushed to his feet.  "Do as you will," he said, moving away from them.

"Great!"  Jecht waved a lazy hand as he wandered towards the Hypello.  "Just don't pull any of that dress shit on us.  We’ve had enough of them lucky charms for today."  His tone was light, but Rikku hesitated, thinking back on Braska's good-luck kiss and odd behavior outside of the agency.  How much was there really behind Jecht's simple demands?  

_ Is he trying to protect Braska? _  She shook her head. 

No matter what his intentions, Jecht's advice was sound; she didn't need Lady Luck's confidence -- or libido -- not when she was going to be spending the night sandwiched between her three companions.

"Did something happen between you and Braska?"  Auron’s question cut through her thoughts.

"He asked me what my name was," Rikku replied as she watched their two companions talking in the rain.  "I didn't tell him."  She paused.  "He didn't really want to know."

Auron remained silent, pressuring her to continue.  It only took a mere moment to break her indecision; she was confused, and he would listen.   _ Simple. _

"It's just... well, you know, we're here, and it's  _ Al Bhed _ , and I thought maybe I could cheer him up, but it backfired, and then he asked about me, and then he thought I was Unsent, and then I cut myself and he healed it and told me to run away if I could but I think he was really asking me to stay and I don't know anything anymore!"

Rikku inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.  "Except that he's sad.  He doesn't want to be alone, but he doesn't want to hurt us... and he definitely wants to -- ”  She choked.  " -- to fight Sin."

"He won't be alone," Auron assured her.  "I will remain by his side until the end."

"That's what I told him!" Rikku exploded.  "I told him we'd all be there for him, but he didn't want us to be.  It's like he's already  _ dead _ inside!"

Auron’s face was grave.  His words were unexpectedly gentle, all things considered.  "He was right to tell you so.  You can't promise anything for the others.  You can't always promise things of yourself," he added.  "Would you deny Jecht the chance to reunite with his wife and son for Braska's sake?  Would you really want to take that choice away from him?"

Rikku scowled.   _ But he won't leave, _ she wanted to say.   _ He can't leave. _  Stumped and frustrated, she let out an angry snort and dropped her head onto her knees.  "Don't say a word," she groaned into her kneecaps.  "I know you're right already, so don't rub it in." 

She listened to the faint strain of voices blending together with the falling rain as Braska, Jecht and the Hypello conversed, and realized with a sharp pang how much she hated this Pilgrimage.  Not for the first time, she found herself wishing that Bahamut would have also stolen her memories, not just her future.  It was easier to worship legends from afar; getting to know them was fraught with all sorts of unexpected dangers.  The desire to change time, to change history itself pulled at her; the ever-present horror of Sin's ravages reminded her of what that bit of selfishness would ultimately cost.

_ I'm going to miss them _ , she realized bitterly.   _ It's going to hurt more than watching Tidus and Auron leave the last time. _

Desperate, Rikku lifted her head and scrabbled through her pouch.  Auron eyed her, wary of the inexplicable burst of energy after her obvious depression.  Intent on her mission, she ignored him and pulled out another one of their blank spheres.  "For making memories," she said when he jerked back.

"I am still uncomfortable with those... things," he admitted.

Rikku frowned. "But you don't believe that they suck your soul or anything anymore, do you?"

Auron frowned.  "I do find myself re-evaluating some of my beliefs," he told her.  "But old habits are hard to break."

Smiling, Rikku offered him the empty sphere.  "Now's a good time to start, don't you think?"  She nudged him.  "You said it yourself.  Pilgrimages!  New beginnings!  Turning over a new leaf as a chronicler!"

Auron accepted the sphere from her with a skeptical expression.  "Hnn," he grunted.

"... or not," Rikku added with a small laugh.  "I think chroniclers need to have more than a three-syllable vocabulary."

Ignoring her in favor of studying the sphere, Auron jabbed at it with a fingertip.  "Leave the editorials and just tell me how they work," he grumbled.

Smiling, Rikku pointed out the controls.  "You press this darker part here to activate the recording."  She motioned towards a specific spot on the sphere.

"Like this?"  Auron pressed his thumb roughly into the delicate controls.  With a gasp, Rikku reached over and grabbed his hand before he could shatter the device.

"Not so tight!" she scolded him, repositioning his fingers.  "Spheres can take a lot of abuse, but they're not exactly blitzballs.  You have to be a little careful!"  

Frowning, she leaned in closer and covered his hand with her own; she marvelled at how much larger it was than hers.  Even alive and warm, his skin was still ghostly pale by comparison.

Feeling shy, Rikku adjusted his grip on the sphere, wondering why Auron wasn't objecting, or at the least delivering some sort of scathing retort about her teaching abilities and the sanctity of his personal space.  Not that she doubted the former; it was more that brutal critique was something she had come to expect from him.  His silence, she was finding, was much more unnerving than his sarcasm.

Clearing her throat, Rikku slid her hands away from his.  "You have to leave room for the sphere to capture the images you want to record, too," she managed to say, proud that her voice hadn't completely deserted her.  "Try to cover as little of the surface as possible with your grip.  And face the brighter side forward."

"Am I doing it properly now?" Auron asked, turning the sphere around in his hands.

"Yeah, exactly!" Rikku gushed, pleased at his quick adaptation to the foreign technology, but moreover relieved that he wasn't commenting on her strange behavior.  A small part of her was glad that he was either dense or blatantly unwilling to pick up on her discomfort.  

"Just press that spot to start recording.  You can pick anything, really.  Wait, I got it!  Why don't you try recording Braska?  You know, for Yunie!"

"Hnn," Auron grunted in reply, standing and aiming the sphere towards the man in question.  He paused, his forehead wrinkling as he observed the tableau before him.  "What in Yevon's name is he doing?"

Confused, Rikku looked at Braska.  Comprehension dawned when spotted Jecht over his shoulder.  The blitzer was hopping from one foot to the other under the open sky.  He lifted a telling finger to the rolling clouds overhead with a cocky grin. 

"Oh, that," she said with a bored sigh.  "Jecht's trying to see how many lightning hits he can take before his hair burns off."

Auron snorted.  "I knew I shouldn't have bought him that  _ paan.   _ Your people's beer makes Yevon's holy wine seem like rosewater.  He doesn't need the lightning to lose his hair.  Just give him another few bottles of that poison and it'll fall out on its own."

Rikku shrugged; it wasn't as though she was about to deny anything Auron had just said.  Al Bhed beer was almost as world-famous as their technology.  It was still considered a controlled substance in Bevelle.  

"Hey, tough people need tough drinks.  Besides, it happens to be a handy fuel replacement if you find yourself in a tight situation.  Always practical, that's another one of our mottos!" she cheered.

"And Spira finally discovers the true cause of your unique pupils," Auron sniped with some amusement.  They watched Jecht leap too slowly from a lightning strike, only to land sprawled on his back.  "At least it should numb some of that pain."

Rikku waved Jecht’s shock-injury off.  "Look, Braska's healing him already.  He'll be fine!  … I think."

Jecht picked himself up off the ground and approached the observant Hypello with a look of pleasure.  There was some kind of exchange, and then Jecht handed Braska a few bottles of what appeared to be hi-potions.  Sensing Auron's curiosity, Rikku piped up.

"It's a contest," she explained. "Dodge-the-lightning, or something like that. You can win prizes.”

"Hmm, so he can be useful after all," Auron mused.

Privately, Rikku was glad Jecht volunteered.  It was a chance for fresh supplies that they couldn’t afford to turn down, and she didn't think Auron would be fast enough to avoid the lightning on his own.  Braska's heavy robes wouldn't have helped either; besides that, he was their Summoner.  There was something inside of her that just rebelled at the thought of allowing their leader to willingly electrocute himself while his Guardians stood by and watched. 

Which left only her or Jecht to do the jumping.  And there was no way in Spira -- scratch that, in the entire  _ Farplane _ \-- she was going to start lightning-dodging for fun.

Noticing his audience, Jecht waved them over.  "Hoo-ie!" he yelled, shaking his shaggy mane out and sending fat water droplets flying.  "Did'ya see that?  I'm gonna nab that two-hundred dodge prize in no time flat!"

Rikku's mouth dropped open.  " _ Two hundred? _  Are you nuts?" The last time anyone had tried to dodge that much lightning, it had been Tidus accepting the agency's challenge.  Afterwards, he hadn't needed to use Wakka's hair gel for days.  They'd only gotten him to relent after Lulu agreed to do the prize jumping, much to everyone's surprise -- until they saw her sending out one of her stuffed cactuars into the rain in Tidus' place.  She'd kept the hard-won prize to herself, too, not that anyone had dared to question her.  Even Tidus knew better than to pester a mage with a cactuar that crackled lightning needles.

"I'm not crazy, I'm good," Jecht replied, all confidence.  "And I want you to get this on the record," he added, noting the sphere in Auron's hands.  "For the fans!"

"What fans?" Auron asked smugly.

"Well I can name at least one, 'bout seven years old.  I think you might know her."  Jecht smirked.

"C'mon, you said you wanted to try it!"  Rikku urged, ignoring the fact that he technically hadn't  _ said _ anything.  Silence without protest was just as good as implicit agreement in her book, prompting her to give Auron a nudge with her elbow.  "Look, you've got a willing audience, too!"

With a patient sigh, Auron shook his head in disbelief and pressed his thumb against the sphere.  It glowed with telltale soft blue light; he flinched, but managed to keep his grip on the sphere.  Swinging it around, he peered through the blue water as Rikku had instructed.

"Hey!  Hold it steady!" Jecht shouted.

Auron rolled his eyes.  "Why am I doing this?" he ground out, his thumb moving over the power button.  The light of the sphere died out, and Jecht shouted in protest.

"Aww c'mon Auron, I haven't even started yet!"  Seeing how little effect his words were having, he beseeched Rikku instead.  "Blondie!  Make him do it right!"

Rikku sighed and crossed her arms.  "Auron," she muttered under her breath.  "I didn't teach you all that stuff about spheres for my health, you know."

"This is completely ridiculous," Auron replied in a disgusted voice, trying to push the sphere back onto her.  "It's nothing more than child's play and a waste of our time."

"It's not a waste of time!" Rikku replied too loudly, drawing Jecht and Braska's stares.  The Hypello was still oblivious to their banter, but she toned her volume down anyway.  "Maybe it  _ is _ child's play," she hissed at Auron.  "But just who do you think these spheres are for, anyway?  Jecht?  Braska?  Think again!"

Auron fell silent, glaring at the sphere in his hand.  He looked up and caught a glimpse of Braska's profile, which seemed to cement his decision.  With a deep frown, he stabbed at the controls once more.  Jecht whooped in victory, but Auron ignored him and focused the sphere on Braska instead. 

Braska’s face was turned towards the heavy thunderclouds in the distance.  His expression was just as shuttered as it had been when he spoke to Rikku alone.

"What do you see there, my lord?" Auron asked.

Braska turned and stared in faint surprise, observing the glowing sphere in Auron's hands.  His eyes flicked to Rikku, lips stretched in a thoughtful smile.  "Oh, I was just... thinking," he replied.

Rikku shivered, feeling the mood dampen from Braska's melancholy in ways all the rain in the Thunder Plains couldn’t manage.  Clenching her fists, she forced herself to look away.  Thankfully, Jecht was more than willing to provide a much-needed distraction, whether he knew it or not.

" ‘ey!  This is important!" Jecht hollered at Auron over the sound of rolling thunder.  "No foolin' around," he added, glancing up at the sky in anticipation.  "You're gonna spoil it!"

Auron spun the sphere around just as the lighting struck; there was a bright flash, then -- " _ Whoa! _ " -- and the all-too-familiar smell of singed hair was rising above the acrid scent left in its aftermath. 

Blinking, Rikku sought out Jecht; he sat up slowly from where the blast had thrown him, shaking his head.  If she squinted, she thought she could see a little smoke coming from his ears.

Braska was already issuing the next healing spell, waving his staff.

"Are you all right?" he asked, kneeling by Jecht until the other man's eyes came back into focus.  Auron, who also approached, was much less sympathetic.

"Now there's a scene for posterity!" he interjected in a smug tone.

Jecht looked up in irritation, rubbing his head.  "Yeah, yeah..." he grunted as Braska laughed.  "Just stop that thing and give it to me already, alright?"

In an unusual show of charity, Auron shrugged and allowed Jecht to have the sphere without argument.  "Not much of a display for your fans," he observed.  "Unless you're trying to lose them."

Jecht scrambled to his feet and tossed the sphere to Rikku, who caught it by reflex.  "I'm not making a new costume out of this," she declared.

"Much as we'd love to see that," Jecht replied amidst the groans, "it ain't for you.  Just put it with my stuff.  I'll give it to my boy later!  I bet he'll like seeing that."  Embarrassed, he straightened and rubbed the back of his head.  "I'll make another one for Yuna, you'll see!"

"Perhaps later," Braska added, still grinning.  He nodded at the Hypello, who bobbled towards the agency doors.  "It has been a long day.  I believe we should all retire to a dry room and warm food."

"As long as the  _ paan _ ain't warm, too," Jecht added.

Rikku scowled.  Not that she didn't appreciate Jecht's good humor, but his addiction was, as Auron delicately put it, worrisome.  

"How about not including any  _ paan _ at all?" she suggested.

Jecht ignored her and brushed by, and then Auron stopped at her side.  "We can argue this point later," he murmured in a low undertone.  "Braska is exhausted, we all need rest."

With a reluctant nod, Rikku sighed and followed the others inside.

**.x.x.x.**

They retired to their lone bedroom soon after entering the agency; the frosty reception Braska received was enough to drive the entire group from the lounge in a show of solidarity.  

And cowardice -- or  _ caution _ , as Rikku preferred to call it -- on her part; she kept her hood up and her head down, careful to hide any sign of her outfit or coloring that might have hinted at her Al Bhed origins.  Braska was a convenient, if a bit unfortunate, distraction.  To Rikku's great relief, Rin wasn’t there; she remembered hearing he’d been trying to open a shop at the foot of Mount Gagazet.  The Ronso were a proud, stern people, however, and Rin’s contract had taken months to finalize -- long after Braska's Pilgrimage was over, Rikku realized with a twist in her gut.

The room turned out to be larger than expected, but still a shade too small for comfort.  With only two beds to share, Braska insisted Rikku claim one -- over Jecht's loud protest -- while Auron relegated Braska himself to the other.  The remaining bedrolls were spread between them, and a moody silence broken only by the occasional thunderclap settled over the group.

Even Jecht was more subdued than usual, despite the easy access to alcohol; it wasn't hard to see why.  Surrounded by the hostile darkness outside and cramped, dull grey walls inside, the small room reminded her too much of their incarceration in Bevelle.

If she could have escaped from the pressure cooker, Rikku would have.  More than ever before, she felt the grip of shame overtake her; shame for her family and her clan.  

They, the Al Bhed, wronged by Yevon for too many years, had grown so used to prejudice and hatred that they unwittingly took to heart the very lessons they claimed to abhor.  It cut her to the quick to see Braska suffer the hostile stares, and a small whisper of conscience reminded her that once, she herself had been no different from the agency personnel. 

_ But I am different now... aren't I? _   She tried to focus on the work at hand.   _ I hope so. _

When Auron left the room to gather food for an evening repast, Jecht trailed after him with the more lascivious intent to seek out a specific choice Al Bhed beverage.  That left Rikku alone with Braska, and she busied herself with the duty of synthesizing some of the hard-earned loot onto their equipment.  It was difficult to keep her concentration on the delicate metalwork needed to graft materials onto Auron's bracer, though; her mind kept straying to Braska's distant look, and the feel of his fingertips on her lips.  She blinked and stared at the bracer in her hands.

_ I like Auron _ .

Unbidden, her eyes flew to Braska and she flinched.  Wiping some sweat from her brow, she tried her best to ignore the hairs standing up on the back of her neck.  Braska's unerring gaze had been locked on her from the moment she started working.  She caught him staring every time she snuck a glance up, and wondered if he bothered to blink.  It was a little creepy.  Well,  _ a lot _ creepy.  Most of the time it was like he didn’t even really  _ see _ her.  She was tempted to snap at him, as she would have at Jecht or Auron had they been doing the same.  

"You're afraid of lightning," Braska said, breaking the monotonous silence.  

Rikku started and looked up.  At least the misty, distracted expression was starting to fade; she supposed an uncomfortable interrogation was still better than Braska's distance.  

He gave her an appeasing smile at her wary expression.  "I don't mean to criticize. Actually, I'm rather impressed. You're afraid of the lightning, but still you managed to overcome your fear."

"Same as you," Rikku replied without thinking.  Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth as Braska looked away. "I -- uh, I mean..."

"You would paint me a hero," Braska said.  "I thank you for that.  But it's not quite true yet.  I don't know that I'll pass the final trial when the time comes," he admitted.

Rikku’s eyebrows lifted.  "Auron doesn't doubt you,” she said, careful to keep her voice steady.

"He's a good man," Braska answered just as neutrally.

Rikku nodded.  Didn't she have this conversation with Auron already?  _ I didn't like it then, either _ .  She fiddled with the bracer.  "Um, listen.  I don't mean any disrespect here, but, uh.  If you're going to say what I think you're going to say, could you maybe just not say it?" 

Braska looked surprised, and Rikku pressed her advantage. 

"Just because I'm the only female on this Pilgrimage doesn't mean you have some kind of duty to hook me up with Auron.  And it doesn't mean he has the right to force me onto you either!  What if I don't like either of you that way?"

Braska gave her an amused smile, and Rikku felt transparent.   _ Maybe the wrong argument here. _  Feeling her cheeks turn red, she refocused on the bracer.  "Well, okay, but let's say neither of you like  _ me _ that way?" she grumbled.

Braska smirked.  "I'm fairly sure I can assuage at least some of those fears.  But," he added, holding up a hand as Rikku stiffened, "I take it you mean that Auron is not returning your affections the way you want him to.  You shouldn't give up all hope."

Rikku's frantic polishing of the bracer slowed down.  "Why are you telling me this?" she asked, looking up at Braska.  "I mean, don't you, umm... well, you know, you... and me, and well your wife and all," she said in a rush, forcing herself to meet his gaze.

The corners of Braska's eyes crinkled as he smiled at her.  "Seeing you here is a great inspiration to me, Rikkma.  I'm trying to overcome my own doubts and fears.  I think of it as a challenge.  One I must best."

"Oh," Rikku said, deflating as she mulled over his words.  Braska didn’t want to fall in love again, that much she could gather.  Maybe he feared he would forget his wife - Raenn was foundation for his Pilgrimage and supplied him with the will to drive it forward.

_ Well, pardon me for not helping you figure out less painful ways to kill yourself there, _ was what she wanted to tell him.  But even Rikku knew it was a dumb idea to air.   _ Really, really dumb.  It would be like taking Yuna's Gunner sphere and practicing Trigger on myself.  Yep, it would definitely be a disasterrific thing to say to Braska right now. _  She bit down on her tongue to keep any sharp retorts from spilling out, just in case.

Braska frowned at her.  "You shouldn't hurt yourself that way," he warned her.  "Unless you want me to heal it again."

Rikku released her tongue instantly, her face turning bright red.  Braska finally dropped his gaze. The ensuing silence wasn't only pregnant, it was having  _ triplets. _

"My intents are pure, but at times I find my will lacking," he murmured.  "I apologize for my... indelicacy.  Please, let us forget it for the moment and continue our conversation," he said, his tone pleasant.

Rikku winced; Al Bhed were known for being brutally honest and outspoken when it came to their emotions.  She could see why Braska generated such irritation within her family during his visit and subsequent courtship of Raenn.  "Umm, sure.  Just... leave off the Auron bits off for now.  Let's talk about something else instead, okay?"  Braska seemed relieved at her acceptance of their charade, and Rikku smiled uncomfortably.

"Tell me... how did you overcome your fear of lightning?  As inspiring as I would like to think this Pilgrimage may be, I suspect we are not to blame for your courage."

Rikku couldn't help but laugh a little at that.  "Courage?" she giggled.  "Umm, not really.  You should've seen me the first time I came here!  I grabbed onto my friend's leg and wouldn't let go no matter how much he tried to shake me off!  Afterwards, the others told me I looked like a desperate monkey.  I was so scared I didn't even care."  Rikku stifled another laugh.  "Eventually one of my friends got fed up with it and suggested that I camp out here for a week." 

That would've been putting it nicely.  After one particularly embarrassing brush with a Larvae during a sphere hunt and their subsequent loss to Leblanc, Paine privately threatened to skewer her if she didn't get over her astraphobia.  Rikku was grateful the taciturn warrior hadn't ever actually told soft-hearted Yuna just how much of that camping trip had been inspired by sword point rather than bravery.  The end result was the same, after all.

"I see," Braska was saying.  "You seem rather well-travelled."

"Oh!"  Rikku fidgeted.  "Well, yeah, I guess you could say that."   She smiled in relief as the door to the room slammed open and Auron stomped in, balancing a tray of food in one hand and a tight grip on Jecht's arm in the other.  "Dinner!" she cheered, grateful for the distraction.

"Get in there and  _ stay _ in there," Auron growled, shoving Jecht to the floor.

"Aww, man -- " Jecht said, his voice pitching to a near-whine.

"You are NOT dodging lightning for  _ paan, _ " Auron ground out.  "Don't make me repeat myself.  I promise that you'll regret it."  He slammed the tray of food onto the small table pushed up against the wall, sending soup slopping over the sides of the bowls.  "Your dinner," he told the others.  "If the soup seems a little thin, it's only because our brilliant companion over here overshot our budget with his addiction."

" ‘ey, I didn't know I'd drunk that much!" Jecht protested.  

Auron glowered at him. 

Jecht shrugged and reached for one of the bowls, but Auron thunked his sword onto the floor, cutting off Jecht's progress before he could reach the food.

"Not for you," Auron grunted, his eyes narrowing.  "If you want to sustain yourself on beer, that's your choice.  But you will not steal nourishment from the mouths your companions as well."

Jecht slouched back onto his bedroll and sulked.

Braska sighed and shook his head, ignoring the two bickering men and claiming his bowl of soup; Rikku followed him in turn.  It was only after Auron also procured his own bowl and they begun their meal that Braska broke the silence. 

"So then," he said to Rikku, putting down his spoon.  "Are you a Blitzball player, by chance?"

Rikku choked on her soup.

Jecht snorted, sitting up and hunching over his bent knees.  "What,  _ her?  _  Are you kiddin' me?"  He laughed.  "Look at them skinny little arms!  I bet she couldn't even toss a blitzball across a sphere pool!"

Insulted, Rikku sniffed.  "Shut up!  I so can play Blitzball!  I'll have you know I'm one of the best passers in the league!  Nobody passes like the Rikkunator!"

Auron frowned.  "I don't remember seeing you in league games," he said.

Rikku blushed.  "Well, I, uh, I don't play professionally anymore.  You know, falling out with the Al Bhed and all that."  She didn't think Auron was buying her story, but fortunately the mere mention of Blitzball was enough to whet Jecht's interest.

"No kiddin'!  You, a blizter!  Who would've thunk it?" Jecht muttered.  "What position do you play?"

Rikku stuck her tongue out at Jecht.  "I prefer the midfield, but I can do backside defense too," she answered.  "Oh ye of little faith!  I bet I could block some of your passes!"

"But not my shots," Jecht bragged.

Rikku snorted.  "Well, if you wouldn't knock the defenders unconscious with a ball to the head, we might have more of a chance.  I swear, the Jecht Shot is the worst thing to ever happen to Blitzball!"

Jecht stared at her.  "How would you know?  I ain't never done the Jecht Shot on you."

Rikku shrugged.  "My friend Paine practiced the Mark III on me once, and that was more than enough," she groaned.

"There's a chick doing my shot?" Jecht yelled.  "There ain't nobody who can do a Jecht shot! That's why it's called the  _ Jecht _ shot!"

Rikku rolled her eyes.  "You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better," she sang with a smirk.  It dropped after a moment of consideration.  "You know, I don't think you'd get away with calling Paine a chick, either.  She might not look it, but I bet she's got more muscles than you.  And  _ she _ knows how to wield her sword."

Jecht grinned.  "Sounds like Auron's dream girl to me.  Even got the right name."

Rikku blinked and came out of her fantasy.  She snuck a glance at Auron, who up until then had silently endured the conversation.  Now he was glaring at Jecht once more.  

Was it because Jecht was right?  Paine was the serious type, and so was Auron.  And Paine was a fighting machine - you only had to look at her in Full Throttle mode to see that much.  Was  _ that _ the kind of girl Auron would go for?  A warrior?  She cringed even while kicking herself for not grabbing the warrior dressphere before her journey began.

"Don't presume to know anything about me or my tastes," Auron grunted.  "Especially when you yourself have none," he added with a disgusted curl of his lip.  He focused on eating the rest of his soup, stiff posture daring Jecht to make another comment at his own peril.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" Jecht replied, undaunted.  "Well if I'm so wrong, why don't you tell us what you like in a woman, eh?  I'm sure we'd all love to hear it."  Apparently the beer feud he lost was still fresh in his memory.  Or the  _ paan _ was running high enough in his blood to make him forget caution.  Tension in the room skyrocketed, and Auron dropped his spoon into his bowl with a loud clatter.

"Jecht, shut up," Rikku hissed.

"I'm just tryin' to help you out here!"

"You call this helpful?"  Anger and embarrassment warred for domination.

"Rikkma."  Braska's voice cleanly snipped the taut emotional wires that had grown between them.  "How did you manage to travel so far, if not through professional blitzing?"

Her fury deflating in a rush, Rikku smiled at Braska gratefully.  "I've... uh... been on some trips." The relief faded when Braska tilted his head in thought.

"The Al Bhed usually travel in numbers for safety.  And as much as it pains me to say this, they wouldn't always be welcome in certain places, no matter how large or small their group might be."  

He paused, and Rikku smiled past the sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach.  Braska was good at defusing tense situations... but at the moment, she was more concerned with the cost of their latest truce.  

"The only two exceptions of this rule which come to mind are the professional Blitzball League... and Pilgrimages, of course."

Auron was now paying complete attention to the conversation, his curiosity waked.

"I... um... well, I... huh, you know it's funny, but -- "

"You've been on Pilgrimage before," Braska concluded, surprise registering in his voice.  He only had to look at her with those  _ Yuna eyes _ , and Rikku found herself nodding against her will.  She could feel Auron's stare burning into her.  "Who was your summoner?"

Rikku studied her hands, trying to maintain her outward poise.  Her mind raced in panicked circles _.  I need to name a summoner, and quick!  But who's a summoner they'd believe? _  A flash of inspiration struck her;  _ what about Lulu's old summoner?  Lady Ginnem, wasn't that her name? _  She opened her mouth to spit out the answer, and froze.  What if Lady Ginnem hadn't even started on her Pilgrimage yet?  Or worse yet, what if she  _ had?  _  Would Braska had heard of her?   _ No, _ she thought, booting Ginnem's name out the metaphorical window.   _ C'mon, Rikku, thinkthinkthink! _  What about the other summoner they'd met on Yuna's Pilgrimage?  The dead one?  She'd said she was the guardian of a forgotten temple.  What was her name again?   _ Belgie... Bella... _

"Belgemine!" Rikku blurted out in triumph, before moderating her tone.  "Lady Belgemine, I mean," she repeated.  "She was... unique."   _ Ain't that the truth _ .

"Belgemine," Braska repeated.  "Strange, I've never come across that name in my studies before."

"That's because her Pilgrimage failed," Rikku said.  "At the Calm Lands."  At least that much was truth.  Her words had an immediate and profound effect on Auron and Braska; their expressions grew sober at her revelation.

"Failed?" Jecht repeated.  "What, like she didn't pass a test?"

"... something like that," Rikku told him.  In a strange way, she had liked Belgemine despite her eccentricities.  She wasn't in the mood to pander her story for a  _ paan _ -buzzed Jecht; it seemed too disrespectful.

"It means she died in the Calm Lands, Jecht," Braska answered for her.

"Hold up a minute,  _ died? _ "  Jecht sat up straight.  He gave Rikku a confused, helpless look.  "But weren't you her Guardian?"

Auron slammed his bowl of soup on the floor, nearly cracking the ceramic.  " _ Shut up, _ Jecht."  For once it was a relief to see such serious displeasure directed at someone besides herself; it was actually a little embarrassing to consider that maybe - just maybe - he was getting so worked up on her behalf.

It took a few more extremely awkward moments for Jecht to process the command.  "But if Blondie here was her Guardian, and the Summoner died, wouldn't that mean she -- oh.   _ Oh, I get it!  _  Ooh..."

Auron was looking angrier by the syllable, and Braska for once didn't seem to be coming to the rescue.  Rikku, for her part, tried to act like a disheartened, emotionally scarred Guardian who had failed at her duty as best she could.  It wasn't that hard, considering she really did have plenty of scarring Guardian experience; still, it felt a little uncomfortable to lay claim to such a sensitive role when it wasn't really hers to play.   _At least_ _this will throw Auron and Braska off the scent for a little while._

"It's all right," she ventured, taking pity on Jecht, who was now rubbing his head and looking no better than a whipped chocobo. "It was a long time ago."

"You must have been so young," Braska said with a note of sorrow.

"Fifteen," Rikku admitted.  "But you know... it was a learning experience.  Helped me grow, I guess?  I’m way better at this now than I was then,” she reassured Braska.

She looked at the three men and nodded to herself.  Some of her internal tension, at least, had eased -- it wasn’t so much the unexpected reprieve Belgemine's convenient Pilgrimage provided, more because her conclusion sounded so  _ right. _  Content to let the trouble Jecht stirred lie, she cleared the surface of her bed.  Flopping down, she shut her eyes and tried to ignore the rumbling of the storm outside.  "We're all tired.  Let's just stop arguing about this and get some rest," she said out loud.

Auron grunted in agreement.  Though her eyes were closed, she was willing to bet he was looking at her and forced herself not to shiver.  How long it would be before he sniffed out her latest in the huge tapestry of lies she was weaving together?  The strange, complete confidence she placed in him -- that  _ he, _ of all of them, would figure it out in a matter of time -- almost made her smile.  She cracked her eyes open, and to his credit he managed to not look surprised when she met his stare.

"Thanks," she mouthed silently.  

His eyebrows lifted in surprise at her acknowledgement -- with all the confrontation crackling in the room, doubtless he'd expected her to add to the mix.  The lines on his face softened, and for Rikku it was even better than one of his wry smiles.  

She stomped out the guilty mental droning of her prophecies of doom and gloom and rolled to her side instead, Auron's expression lodged comfortably at the forefront of her mind.  The way he had looked at her just then had been relaxed, and more importantly,  _ honest. _  At least there could still be moments of simple, comforting honesty in this Pilgrimage full of deception and lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 7/16: changed Rikku’s field position in Blitzball, dialogue changes, usual cleanup
> 
> "Paan" is Al Bhed for "beer."


	22. Shocked

The morning was as bright as it could possibly get in the Thunder Plains, which, honestly speaking, was not very bright at all.  Rikku rolled out of the bed, feeling energized -- and maybe just a little bit intimidated -- by the crack of lightning that pulled her from her light slumber.  She glanced around the room.  

Braska was sleeping heavily in his bed as usual, a peaceful expression on his face.  Rikku scowled; it wasn't fair that he was able to sleep through the thunderous noise of the ongoing natural concert outside.  

Glancing towards her feet, she saw Auron was also still asleep, snoring lightly into his bedroll.  His face was slack, relaxed for once, and Rikku couldn't help but smile.  He looked even younger than before, and she had to quell an urge to push one of the stray strands of hair away from his face.  Despite their frequent disagreements over the course of the Pilgrimage, he still hadn't tucked away the two long fronds she'd prodded him to let out during the trial in Bevelle.  Auron really did seem to be doing his best to discourage any and all of her attempts at flirting with him, but the fact that he had yet to change his hairstyle bolstered her confidence.   _ I'll wear him down yet. _

Easing herself out of the bed, she stepped over him and tiptoed towards the door.  Closing it behind her, she made her way towards the common room.  It was bleak and nearly empty, lit only by the natural thunderstorm, a few candles, and the weak, bluish light from the sphere stand set up in the corner.  A figure hunched over one of the tables caught her attention; coming closer, Rikku recognized him as he swayed.

"Jecht!" she whispered, approaching him.  He was surrounded by empty bottles of paan, evidence of what was apparently one hell of a bender.   _ How the heck did he manage that? _

He burped and sat up straighter, blinking owlishly at her.  Then he grinned a sloppy smile.  " 'ey there, Blondie.  What time is it?"  He wiped his bleary eyes.

"Too early to be drinking that," Rikku replied suspiciously. She cleared herself a space at the table and sat down, pinning Jecht under a furious glare.  "You shouldn’t be drinking that much!"

Jecht's grin faded into a defiant grimace, and he downed the undoubtedly warm and flat remains of the bottle clutched in his hand.  After he'd swallowed, he eyed her right back.  "Needed a pick-me-up after all that dodgin'."  Then his expression brightened, and he reached back and fumbled for something in his pocket.  "But take a look at this!"  Finding his prize, Jecht withdrew a small, cloth-wrapped object and threw it onto the table.  It landed with a heavy thunk, parting the cloth surrounding it, and Rikku sucked in her breath.

"Where'd you get this?"  She pulled the rest of the cloth away and inspected the heavy runic symbol hidden within its folds.  There was no mistaking what it was, though Rikku had to admit she'd never laid eyes on this particular one before.  Even if she hadn't known, the sheer power of the magic trapped inside the small lump of metal was enough to set her teeth on edge.  "This is a Celestial Sigil!"

"Celestial Sigil?" Jecht repeated, staring at the symbol.  "All I know is that they gave it to me after two hundred dodges.  Actually, they seemed kinda glad t'be rid of it."  He passed his hand over the metal, stroking it, and Rikku shivered.  

That wasn't any surprise; no one could really be comfortable around one of the mysterious, holy artefacts that comprised the true power of a Celestial weapon -- no one except the rightful owner of such a sigil.  It was said the weapons chose their own masters -- that they would appear, revealing themselves to warriors destined for greatness, becoming lost to obscurity only when the life of their owner ended or their world-changing duties ceased. 

From the way Jecht was carelessly handling the thing, ignorant of the waves of energy it radiated, it looked as though the weapon had chosen him to become its next master.  That, or he truly was drunk enough to be oblivious.

"Trust me, it's  _ really _ rare," Rikku said, itching to take a closer look at the thing despite the chills it sent up her spine.  "Can I touch it?"

Jecht snorted.  " 'Course you can, it’s a goddamn paperweight."  He tossed it towards her and Rikku caught it with a gasp.  Turning the precious object over in her hand, she inspected the runes and symbols worked into the metal, trying to determine its origin.  A trident-shaped mark embossed on its surface caught her eye, and Rikku rubbed her thumb over it.

"Neptune," she finally breathed.  "This is the Neptune Sigil."  Grinning, she held up the sigil for Jecht to inspect, pointing out the symbol.

"Whazzat supposed to mean?" Jecht asked, his eyes half-closing as his head began a slow descent towards the tabletop.  Rikku kicked him in the shins and he jerked upright. 

"Oww!  Damn!  Alright, Neptune Sigil, I got it!  So what's the big deal about it anyway?"

Rikku rolled her eyes.  "It's just special, okay?  You need to hang onto this.  Don't give it to anyone else, don't lose it, and most of all..."  Here she paused, eyeing the evidence scattered across the tabletop, "Don't sell it for booze!"

Jecht yawned.  "Well, if it's so damn special, why don't you hang onto it for now?"

Dropping the sigil as though it burned -- in a way it did -- Rikku shook her head and pushed it back across the table.  "It's yours, Jecht.  Your responsibility.  You keep it."

"Huh.  Fine," he grumbled, rewrapping the sigil and shoving it back into his pocket.  "Don't see what's so special 'bout the damn thing anyhow."

"Maybe one day when you're sober you will."  To this Jecht gave a grunt, and Rikku sighed.  "Just keep your eyes open for this symbol.  If you find something else that looks like it, don't ask questions.  Trust me, just grab it!"

Groaning, Jecht leaned back in his chair and stretched.  "Yeah, yeah, whatever.  So, Braska and the Stiff up yet?"

Rikku picked at her fingernails, peering at Jecht through lowered eyelashes.  "Not really."  She paused, swallowing; this was a conversation she really,  _ really _ hadn't planned on and didn't want to have with Jecht.  "Listen, we gotta talk..."

"We're talkin'," Jecht said, though he did allow the legs of the chair he'd been leaning back in to hit the ground with a thump.  The tone of her voice must have caught his attention because now he seemed to be fully awake, regarding her with a touch of curiosity.  "You gonna tell me somethin' ‘bout my boy?"

"No," Rikku hummed, winding her fingers together.  "This is about you, not Tidus.  Umm, well... you and your monkey, I mean."

Jecht stared at her, his face slack.  "I don't own no monkey," he said.  "You, uh, you havin' another one of them crazy-attacks?"

Rikku separated her hands, slamming her fists on the table.  The empty bottles jumped; one slid off and shattered on the floor.  She flinched and directed an angry glare towards Jecht.  "I don't mean a pet monkey.  I mean the one on your back."  When he started to turn, she slapped the table again.  "I didn't mean LITERALLY!"

"Well what the hell are you goin' on about?  Monkeys and Neptune Sigils and all that shit?” he fired back, irritated.  “Talk normal, girl, and maybe I could get a clue!"

Picking up a bottle, Rikku pushed it into Jecht's face; he went cross-eyed.  "This monkey!" she hissed.  "Everyone's noticed, you know, even Braska.  If you're not sloshed you're being an asshole.  What's the deal with you anyway?"

Jecht's face closed and he grabbed the bottle out of her hand.  "I just need a little help, that's all.  It ain't no damn  _ monkey business, _ " he said.  "I drink 'cause I like it.  Makes me feel good.  I could stop whenever I wanted."

"Sure," Rikku replied flatly.  "Did you ever stop and think that maybe this Pilgrimage is a teenie weenie little bit more important than making yourself feel good?"  She sniffed and winced.  "Besides, you smell almost as disgusting as you look.  It'd make the rest of  _ us _ feel good if you wouldn't clean out the agency's entire  _ paan _ supply."  Her brow furrowed.  "And I thought Auron told you not to dodge for beer!  He’s gonna be beyond pissed when he finds you here like this.”

Jecht ducked his head. "I didn't do no dodgin' for it."

Rikku waited as the silence grew, with Jecht looking more uncomfortable by the second.  She tapped one impatient finger on the table. 

"I traded for it, alright?"   Jecht shrugged.

"Traded?" Rikku echoed.  "Traded what?"  A sense of foreboding overtook her as Jecht hunched even lower over the table.  "Traded  _ what, _ Jecht?"

He mumbled something unintelligible, and Rikku narrowed her eyes.  When he glanced up, she gave him a  _ Rikku Look Mark II _ that would have made Auron proud.  Flinching, he picked up a stray bottle and plucked at the label.  "Just a little somethin' we found," he mumbled.

"Define something," Rikku said.  At this rate, Jecht was going to make her temper give Auron's a run for his money.

"Well... y'know... that jar of, uh,  _ stuff _ you had."

"Stuff?" Rikku repeated, her stomach clenching.

"Yeah,  _ stuff _ .  I dunno what it was, that shiny stuff.  You had all those things laid out when you were workin' on Braska's staff yesterday, and it was just lyin' there.  I, uh, I thought maybe you didn't need it, y'know?"  He was rubbing the back of his head and looking distinctly uncomfortable now, but Rikku ignored him.  

She was too busy digging through her pockets, mentally trying to catalogue what she'd collected and synthesized to figure out what Jecht would call "a piece of shiny stuff" -- which could define over the half of what she tended to pull from fiends.  Swiping a hand over her breast pocket, Rikku froze.  She patted the pocket again --  _ I was sure I put it here _ \-- and then with a sinking feeling, faced Jecht.

"Did it sing?" she asked, her voice dangerously soft.  "That  _ stuff _ you took?"

Jecht scratched his head.  "Sing?  Wha -- ?  Naw, it was just shiny and swirly.  Those guys who took it, they seemed real happy, said I could have as many as I wanted," he added, gesturing at the scattered bottles.

"Swirly... shiny, and in a glass vial," Rikku repeated, feeling sick.  Her fists clenched on the table.  "It did, you know."

"Huh?  What did what?"

She had to keep talking, or Rikku was sure she'd grind the enamel right off of her teeth.  "It sang."  Her voice began to rise, growing a little shriller with each word she spoke.  "It sang because it was rare.  It sang because it was beautiful.  It sang because it was  _ worth more than this entire building and everything in it put together _ !"  By now she was standing, and her hands -- which she honestly hadn't noticed moving -- were slapping Jecht over the head as he ducked under her blows.  "It sang because it was a piece of the Farplane, you  _ great big stinking MORON! _ " she screamed.  "How could you steal from me?  How could you steal  _ that _ from me?"

"Calm down, you'll wake everyone up!"  Jecht flinched away from her.  "Geez, I didn't know, alright?  Take it easy, I'll get it back!"

Rikku let her hands drop, realizing the futility of her assault.  Beating Jecht black and blue wouldn't bring the Farplane Wind back, satisfying as it might be.  "And how's that, huh?" she asked, glaring at him.  "You'll find me another Espada and kill it all by yourself?"

"I'll just ask 'em," Jecht said, pushing away from the table.  "Wasn't that much beer anyhow."  

Rikku stuck her foot out and tripped him back down into his chair with a fierce expression.  At least, she would have tripped him back into his chair, had Jecht not lost his balance and fallen with a clatter to the floor.  She wasn't feeling particularly sorry, though, and continued without pause.

"They're not going to give it back, Jecht!  They're not as stupid as you!"  Blinking back her angry tears, she turned away from the table -- and drew up short as she took in the small audience observing their antics.  The proprietor of the agency, followed closely by his Hypello assistant, was staring at her, shocked -- most likely processing that one of Braska's mysterious companions was also an Al Bhed.  Judging from the look of his rapidly cooling expression, one who was a betrayal of their native cause.

" _ What are  _ **_you_ ** _ doing with  _ **_them_ ** _? _ " fired the innkeeper in rapid Al Bhed.

" _ None of your business _ ," Rikku shot back, spotting more figures moving in the corridor behind him.  Another entourage of -- she bit back a groan -- Bevellian priests.  Missionaries from the looks of it, woken by their scuffle.  Behind them, she could make out Auron's bulk, filling the hallway -- and the rest of the room, in fact -- with a dark aura of displeasure.

"You are guarding that Summoner," the innkeeper replied, switching back to the common Spiran tongue.  "Guarding the  _ clis _ who stole our sister!"

Rikku's back straightened.  " _ Don't you dare call him scum _ ," she snarled, still answering in her native tongue.  " _ Don't you say another word! _ "

"It is you who will keep silent, traitor!  Speak another word in the tongue of my people and I'll cut it from your mouth!"

**_My_ ** _ people? _  The innkeeper specifically excluded her.  Rikku stepped back, her mouth opening and closing in shock.  Was this how Braska felt all the time?

"What is going on here?"  Auron's voice broke through the crowd, even as he shoved the gaping priests out of his way.  "Rikkma?" he asked, glancing between her and the innkeeper.

" _ You. _  You should have told me you were bringing  _ that _ with you," the innkeeper said, facing Auron now.  "Leave, the night is over and your party is no longer welcome here."

One of the priests snickered in the background.  "A drunkard, an Al Bhed, and an ex-monk, all following the great Lord Braska," he muttered, the sarcasm in his voice clear.  "Oh how the mighty have fallen, haven't they,  _ Sir _ Auron?"

Rikku jumped at the priest's tone even as Auron's face grew stony.  It wasn't a lucky day for any of them; Auron, young as he was, was more famous than she'd guessed.  Dropping her head, she glared at Jecht, who squirmed his way off of the ground while looking guilty.  She hadn't meant to get them kicked out, but it was obvious they'd overstayed their welcome.

"Pardon me..."  Braska pushed his way forward through the priests, who parted before him with looks of surprise.  His face was serene.  "We were on the way out already," he reassured the innkeeper.  "Come, it's time to go."

Dropping her head in shame, Rikku grabbed Jecht's arm in a painful grip and hauled him towards the door.  Auron followed behind him, his knuckles whitened from the severity of his grip on the handle of his sword.  Braska paused, turning to face their audience.  "I thank you for your hospitality."  He bowed respectfully, ignoring the innkeeper's loud snort, and trailed after the others out into the rainy plains.

For a while a gloomy silence settled over the group as they trudged into the everlasting storm; Rikku folded her arms together, scowling.  Anger prevented her from feeling the sting of the rain, or even shock at the flashes of lightning that struck around them.  Only when the travel agency dropped out of view did her pace slow.  She slicked her soaked hair away from her face.

" ‘ey, Blondie," Jecht called out to her, and Rikku tensed.

"Don't talk to me right now," she spat.

"But I -- "

" _ La la la! _  Is that the wind I hear blowing?  Must be, because I think I was being pretty clear!" Rikku yelled, plugging her fingers into her ears.

"Shut up," Auron said, his temper short.  "I want to know exactly what happened."  He glared at them both.  "I've had enough of your antics.  Your shameful behavior today interrupted Lord Braska's rest!  Or have you already forgotten that you're supposed to  _ protect _ him from hardship?"

"It was nothing," Braska murmured.  "One can hardly rest in such a hostile environment -- "

"No, I'm sorry," Rikku piped up.  "Stop trying to be the hero, Braska, that was all my fault.  I lost my temper and it wasn't fair to you or Auron."

" ‘ey!  What about me?" Jecht asked.

"You deserved it."  Rikku’s tone frosted over.  She turned to Auron, ignoring Jecht's wince.  "Do you know what he did?  He stole from me!  He stole our loot!"

Auron's expression twisted in wry amusement.  "I thought you were the thief."

Rikku yelled in frustration and pulled at her hair.  "It's not funny!  He stole my Farplane Wind!"

Auron's face registered confusion, but Braska frowned at the revelation.  "I've heard rumors of the existence of such things... pyreflies that could be bottled, whispers of death that could be caught.  How did you manage to acquire such a thing, Rikkma?"

Rikku sighed.  "It was that Espada we fought.  It was... well,  _ special _ somehow, I guess.  I just felt it and I grabbed for it and boom!  Out it came!"

"A rare and precious gift indeed," Braska repeated, a note of awe in his voice.  "Where is it now?"

"Well, I wonder," Rikku said.  "Maybe Jecht knows!"

Jecht mumbled under his breath.  "You don't have to be such a bitch about it," he sneered.  "Excuse me for not knowin' it was  _ special. _ " 

Rikku clenched her fists.  "You know what?  I changed my mind.  Give it to me.  You took something of mine, so I'm taking something of yours."

"Huh?"

"The Neptune Sigil!  Give it here!"  Rikku held out her hand.

"But you said that was special!  And I won that fair and square!" Jecht protested, his hand covering the pocket containing the object.

"Jecht!  You sold my Farplane Wind for  _ beer! _  You -- you -- you're  _ asking for it! _ "  Her hand reached for her sphere grid out of habit, but she was stopped by Auron's sudden, swift grip on her wrist.  Though he pushed her back, his glare wasn't directed at her.

"You stole our supplies and traded them for liquor?" he asked, too calm.  

Braska observed the exchange, his lips drawn tight as he looked at Jecht.  "And what exactly is this 'Neptune Sigil' Rikkma is speaking of?"

Reluctantly, Jecht pulled the bundle out of his pocket, unwrapping it.  "I won it dodgin' lightning."

Braska's gasp was more than enough to confirm the object's value.  Auron released Rikku and frowned.

"Hand it to me.   _ Carefully, _ " he stipulated as Jecht made a motion to lob the small object through the air.

"Sorry already," Jecht grumbled.  "If I'd known that Farplane-thingie was worth the whole damn buildin', I wouldn't've done it."

Auron nearly dropped the Sigil into the mud.   _ "What?"  _  He looked down at Rikku, who only nodded a miserable confirmation.  "Unbelievable," he grit out, glaring at the Sigil.  Then he did a double-take.  "Is this -- "

Braska spoke up, his eyes widening.  "A Celestial Sigil!  Yevon smiles upon us... that object is far more valuable than a Farplane Wind."  Then he studied Jecht with renewed intensity.  "I understand now.  First the sword, and now this..."

Auron looked at the Sigil in his hand.  Then he looked at Jecht, skepticism splashed across his face.  "My lord, you can't possibly think -- "

"It's the only explanation," Braska replied, still staring at Jecht.  "He was meant to have it.  He is the one that sword chose."  Then he smiled and clapped a surprised-looking Jecht on the shoulder.  "To think, we have a legend in the making in our midst!"  

Braska's cheerful smile jarred against Auron's incredulous gaping and the not-so-subtle clouds boiling over Rikku's head.  He grinned at Jecht, and Rikku and Auron exchanged a brief but mutually pained look.  Braska, it seemed, would always be Braska.

"You know, just forget it.  There's not much anyone can do with a single Farplane Wind after all."  Rikku had to force the lie out through clenched teeth.  Sighing, she plucked the Sigil out of Auron's suddenly lax grip.  Jecht was on her blacklist.  Even his unwitting mastery of the Neptune Sigil wasn't going to change that.  "But I'm hanging onto this anyway until Stupid here can prove that he won't trade it for something worthless at the next bar we come across."

Braska, still smiling at Jecht, clapped him on the shoulder once more, a little more firmly.  "I think that is an acceptable solution, don't you Jecht?"

_ Well, maybe Braska isn't as clueless as he looks, _ Rikku thought with some satisfaction.

"Whatever," Jecht grumbled.  He grimaced at Rikku in a rough estimation of an apology.  "Sorry 'bout the trouble, Blondie."

Rikku opened her mouth, but Auron beat her to the punch.  "We need to have a word, Jecht."  His words were harsh steel, and Braska shot Auron a brief, disapproving look which the other man ignored.  "Lord Braska, Rikkma.  If you'll excuse us."

Rikku allowed herself to be led away when Braska tugged on her arm.  They stopped under one of the lightning shelters.  "Hey, you forgave him already, right?  So why're you letting Auron go all scary on him?  Isn't that, like, against the rules?"  Not that she  _ minded, _ but curiosity forced her to ask.

"Rules?"  Braska laughed.  "I try to avoid telling Auron what he may and may not do.  He is a grown man, after all."

"And he's your Guardian," Rikku replied, watching as Auron leaned closer to Jecht, wearing what she could only best describe as his  _ scary _ face.  His lips were moving, and from whatever he was saying, Jecht appeared to be sobering up quickly.  "Isn't he supposed to do what you tell him to?"

"Auron has his ways," Braska replied.  Rikku noticed he was watching the exchange just as avidly as she was.  "He does what he feels is in the best interest of the group -- in my best interest.  Sometimes that conflicts with my own wishes and desires.  For example..." he trailed off, gesturing.

"You mean this whole Pilgrimage," Rikku supplied.  "Can't say I blame him."

Braska's responding smile was amused.  "I refuse to compromise on the most important things," he clarified.  Then his smile faded.  "Jecht... has a problem.  But it is one which none of us can remedy.  He has to find the answer within himself."  He sighed as Jecht said something which displeased Auron, who growled out some kind of cutting response.  Jecht flinched.

"But you'll let him stay with us anyway?" Rikku asked.  "Uh, 'cause it looks like Auron's really putting him through the wringer there..."

Braska sighed.  "Auron doesn't know when to back away from a delicate situation," he supplied.  "Jecht requires space.  A lecture -- no matter how stern -- will do nothing for him at this point.  Being scolded for one's faults rarely inspires a person to remedy his behavior.  What's done is done.  There's no point in dwelling on his mistake."  

His smile returned.  "Besides... I have faith in Jecht.  He will come through this.  Even without the proof of the Neptune Sigil, I would believe in him.  He has a strength in himself which he does not yet realize.  Maybe that is why he tries so hard to prove himself through other venues.  Such as Blitzball.  And drink."

Rikku frowned.  "I guess so," she muttered.  "Still wish I had my Farplane Wind back.  If we were gonna lose it anyhow, that would have bought us supplies for a month!"

Braska chuckled.  "Yes, well, no one ever said the path to redemption would be easy for any of us."  He stared at Auron, who was now shouting and gesturing with one hand.  Jecht, who had crossed his own arms over his chest, was scowling deeply. 

"Jecht will recover from this disagreement with Auron in time."  His smile deepened.  "You always managed to."

Rikku blushed and bit back a grin.  From that perspective, it was kind of nice to see someone besides herself getting flattened by Auron's temper.  She almost felt sorry for Jecht.   _ Almost. _

**.x.x.x.**

The trip out of the Thunder Plains was much less exciting than the journey inwards.  It might have been the moody silence which descended on the group; Rikku, still angered at the theft of her loot, refused to allow herself to even think about donning her Lady Luck dressphere.  There was no guarantee Jecht would come out of the resulting scuffle unscathed.  Auron, furious at Jecht after their "talk," refused to speak with any of them; he marched ahead of the group, tension radiating off of his broad shoulders.  Braska, tired and resigned, followed at a more leisurely -- if you could call slugging through the heavy thunderstorms of the plains  _ leisurely _ \-- pace. 

Rikku was sure Jecht was following her, but she was annoyed enough to push his presence from her mind, not wanting to know what he was doing with himself.

That was why, when Jecht let out a loud yell of pain, they were taken by surprise.

"The little bastard stung me!" Jecht yelped, wincing as he held a hand to his shoulder.  His entire bicep was studded with a myriad of wicked-looking needles, and the arm below it hung limp and useless.  Rikku's eyes widened as she recognized the source of his injury.

"You found a qactuar?  Why'd you piss it off?" she growled, eying the little menace.

"I didn't know the runt had a bite," Jecht groused, edging out of the way of the jumpy, chittering fiend.

"Now you do," Rikku noted as she watched the creature.  Seeing her chance as it dropped its guard to twirl around, she rushed in.   _ Pyreflies, only pyreflies! _  Her hand shot forward, delving.  Those weren't needles digging into her outstretched palm, but  _ pyreflies --  _ suddenly, she felt them.  

With a heave, Rikku pulled her hand out, clutching three tiny, pulsing fire gems to her chest.  She lobbed one at the qactuar immediately while scrambling to safety, not really surprised when she missed.  The resulting explosion was still loud enough to send the creature scurrying away into the darkened plains, though.  Rikku sighed; it would've been a difficult kill anyway -- those little buggers were unbelievably fast.  She grinned at the spoils she'd managed to pilfer despite the loss and pocketed them.

Turning around, she saw Braska leaning over Jecht's arm, grimacing at the mass of needles that had embedded themselves into the other man's flesh.  "Why'd you pick a fight with it?" she asked as she approached, watching Braska carefully pluck them out, one by one.

"It was small," Jecht said.  "I thought it'd be easy."  He winced as Braska pulled out another needle and gritted his teeth.  "Did I ever tell ya that I hate needles?"

"No," Braska replied, pulling another spike from the blitzer's arm, unperturbed.

"What were you trying to accomplish by yourself?  Any battle --  _ any _ \-- should be fought as a team, precisely to prevent accidents like this."  Auron glared at Jecht.  "Your irresponsibility knows no bounds."

Jecht winced, though Rikku wasn't sure if it was from Auron's words or the pain as Braska pulled the final few needles out of his arm.  Then he dropped his head and mumbled something.

"If you have something to say for yourself, speak up!" Auron snapped.

Rikku frowned.  So Jecht had blown their biggest treasure on his bad habit -- granted, it had been annoying.  But, remembering Braska's words, she felt a small stab of pity for the other man.  Maybe Auron's way  _ wasn't _ always the right way.  After all, he'd forgiven her, hadn't he?  "Uh, Auron..."

"I wasn't talking to you," he growled, his eyes never leaving Jecht's face.  

Rikku leaned over and caught Braska's eye.  "Wow.  Was he always like this when I pissed him off?" she whispered.

"Worse," Braska murmured with an amused look.  "Judging from the severity of his reaction, however, I believe he's growing rather fond of Jecht."

Rikku frowned.  Auron, growing  _ fond  _ of Jecht?  She sure couldn't tell it from the way he was glowering.

"Well?"

Jecht glared at Auron.  "I said I was tryin' to make it up, alright?  I just thought, I dunno, if I collected a few things from those fiends like you and Rikkma always do, then maybe..." he trailed off and shrugged, rolling his shoulder and flexing his palm a few times as Braska finished casting a healing spell.  "Just forget it," he snarled, picking up his sword.  "It was a dumb idea."

Auron was still frowning, but it didn't quite seem as though he was trying to melt Jecht into a puddle with his stare anymore.  Feeling oddly charitable at Jecht's admission, Rikku sighed and hit him in the arm.  The one that Braska had just healed.  "Oops," she giggled as Jecht grabbed his shoulder and howled.

"Alright, I get it already Blondie!"

"Sorry," Rikku said, making a grab for his  _ other _ arm.  "It wasn't  _ that  _ dumb of an idea.  But y'know, Auron and I manage to collect all that stuff because I steal it while he's taking care of the nasty business.  You don't just go around killing things willy nilly."  She paused.  "Well, actually, I guess you sorta do.  But we do it in style," she added.  “As a team!”

"Well, ain't that just great for you two lovebirds," Jecht said.

Rikku ignored his dig.  "If you really want to help out, why don't you come with me this time?"  She noted Auron's frown, which was growing in length again, and sighed.  "I think you could use the practice and maybe Braska wouldn't mind catching up on stuff with Auron.  Right?"  She smiled her brightest, most hopeful smile at Braska, who returned it with a knowing smirk of his own.

"Of course," he supplied.  "We haven't had much of a chance to talk since our journey began, have we Auron?"

Auron opened his mouth as if to protest, and then let out an exaggerated sigh of defeat.  "Fine.  Go hunt if you want.  Don't get yourselves killed."

Rikku took the opportunity to drag Jecht away from the group.  "Wow," she breathed.  "I didn't think it'd be that easy!"

Jecht shook her arm off, nodding in agreement.  "Yeah, I thought he was gonna try and beat my ass down for a while there."  Then he sighed.  "Listen, I said I was sorry.  You over it already?"

Rikku frowned to herself as she spotted a buer in the distance.  "Nope," she replied.  Then she faced him.  "I'll manage somehow.  But Jecht?"

"Uh?" he grunted, drawing his sword as he spotted their quarry.

"No more  _ paan, _ okay?"

Jecht's brow lowered and his expression blackened.  "I already told ya, it ain't a problem.  What's up with you and Auron, playin' good cop bad cop now?  Go fuck around with someone else's head."  Not waiting for her answer, he rushed headlong towards the buer with a yell.

Rikku's smile faltered and a bit of the shining optimism Braska had instilled in her tarnished over.  Maybe Braska's way wasn't always the right one, either.  "We'll see," she mumbled, drawing her daggers, following him into battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/16 - usual edits.  
> "Clis" is Al Bhed for "scum."


	23. Dreaming

Rikku stepped out onto the sunlit deck of the airship and squinted at the silhouette sitting near the edge of the platform.

_What's she doing out here alone?_

Making her way over, she seated herself next to the other girl and smiled.  "Hey Yunie, what's up?"

Yuna sighed.  "Oh, hey Rikku.  I was just... thinking."  A smile flitted across her lips, but there was the also the touch of hesitation that had always plagued Yuna's features during the Pilgrimage.  Rikku's stomach flipped – wasn't that supposed to be long gone?  She pushed the feeling of wrongness away and returned Yuna's smile.

"Thinking of what?"

Yuna sighed and looked over the endless fields of wildflowers stretching out below their feet.  "The Fayth," she told Rikku.  "Their dreams."

Rikku’s smile faded as Yuna spoke.  "Dreams of the Fayth," she repeated.  One of the missing pieces clicked into place, and she blinked.  "Tidus."

Yuna nodded.  "Maechen told me that the dreams of the Fayth reach through the spirit of the Summoner," she whispered.  "By touching those dreams, I can make them real."

Rikku gripped the metal of the platform and stared at the beautiful, empty tableau stretching before her.   _Please stop talking, Yunie.  Please._ The flowers were wilting now, the warmth of the setting sun fading into twilight.  A sense of wrongness permeated everything.  Yuna's face was slowly masked in darkness, but when she looked at Rikku, both of her startlingly bright eyes were _blue._

"The dream of the Fayth, the power of a Summoner. That which does not exist becomes real for all to see," Braska's voice intoned.  Cool fingers rested against her neck, and Rikku started as another, deeper voice whispered into her ear.

"What is your dream?" Auron asked.

 _You,_ she wanted to say.   _You've always been my dream._

"Liar," Bahamut rumbled.  He was there, floating before her as a child, but his voice was ancient.  "Your own story – that is what you wanted.  You have never dreamed for others.  You have always dreamed for yourself."

Rikku wanted to protest, but she couldn't move, couldn't even blink.  She forced her jaw to open, squeezing the words between her unwilling lips.  "I didn't mean it to be... to be – !" ... _so selfish,_ she couldn't bring herself to say out loud.

The pressure on her neck increased; _his_ voice filled her ear, a soothing balm to her crackling nerves.  "Your dream wasn't meant for the rest of the world.  Do not be ashamed."

"You wanted to see him again.  Not just your memories," Bahamut told her in his usual monotone, and she couldn't tell if he was scolding her or not.  " _'Even if just to say goodbye.'_ "

"But I can't let go!" Rikku blurted out.

"Then why do you seek us?  Why do you wish to end your dream?"

"Yunie's world..." Rikku managed to whisper, her brow furrowing.

"A world without Sin," Braska completed for her.  "Such a world requires sacrifice to build.  The Fayth sacrificed their dreams for us.  What, then, is one small dream of our own?"

Rikku wanted to shake her head, Braska was _wrong._  It wasn't _fair!_  But she couldn't move; the fingers touching her neck held her still.

"Your happiness," Auron whispered seductively.

"Spira's future," Braska chided.

"You shouldn't seek us out.  You know you aren't ready," Bahamut told her.

The encroaching darkness stretched out its tendrils, obscuring everything; Rikku could no longer see Braska or Bahamut, nor feel the touch of Auron's fingers.  It wrapped around her like chains, robbing her of breath as she gasped and struggled, searching for the last vestiges of light –

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku woke in a cold sweat.  She sat up quickly in her bed, trying to slow her breathing down and covering her eyes with the heels of her palms.  "Just a dream," she whispered to herself.  "It was just a dream."

"Rikkma?"

She dropped her hands and almost let out a shriek as she saw two blue eyes staring at her from out of the darkness, eerily reminiscent of the vision she had just woken from.

"Is everything all right?" Braska asked her with a touch of concern.

Rikku nodded, and then realized Braska probably couldn't see her.  "Yeah, I'm fine," she managed to say, keeping the tremble out of her voice.  "Just a bad dream, that's all."

Braska smiled.  She could tell from the faint white flash of his teeth.  "I couldn't sleep either," he admitted, pitching his voice low so as not to wake the others.  "I feel... restless."  She heard the rustle of cloth as Braska shifted on his bed.  "Perhaps being this close to the Farplane is causing it.  Maybe it calls to the spirits within my soul."

Rikku blinked and fisted the sheet in her hand.  They had arrived in Guadosalam the afternoon before, but the Guado city was hardly welcoming.  Many of the residents seemed to recognize Braska; the attention he garnered ranged from curious to hostile.  Though, in all honesty, the mixed reception was better than the send-off they’d received in the Thunder Plains.  Besides, the Guado behavior was nothing new – they simply _hated_ tourists, and Summoner's parties were no exception.  

Rikku could have cared less, though; much more important was the fact that the city was still standing.  Sin hadn't attacked, as she'd feared.  The entrance to the Farplane was still completely safe and intact and – as she'd discovered with some surprise – just as tightly guarded as "normal."

She didn't think it was very _normal_ at all – but it _was_ a clear reminder that the Guado were at the height of their cultural power and influence, having rejected the Church of Yevon's missionary overtures.  Yet for all of Guadosalam's glory and pride, she couldn't help but view everything with a touch of sadness.  The Ronso had almost completely destroyed the Guado race, decimating their remaining numbers in a war of attrition that lasted a full year after the start of Yuna's supposed "Eternal Calm."

One day, all of it would disappear; the proud mansion that housed Lord Jyscal's clan would be reduced to nothing more than Leblanc's glorified massage parlor, and the oddly decorated houses lining the street would morph into cheap tourist shops and tacky arcades.  Still, the most important feature of Guadosalam would never change.

The Farplane was here, filled with its great emptiness, disquieting peace and hidden sorrows.  For now, though – before the destruction of the Guado; before the integration of Guadosalam into the Church of Yevon – the Farplane was still jealously hoarded by its Guado caretakers. Travellers were allowed one visit, and one visit _only_ ; as such, Braska decided that they rest beforehand in order to make the most of the rare opportunity.

 _Rest.  As if!_  Rikku rubbed her hand over her face.  Well, there sure wouldn't be any more rest tonight – if her own nightmares hadn't ensured it, then the dulcet tones of Jecht's snoring did.  Sweeping the covers aside, she eased out of her bed and tiptoed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Braska asked, hearing her movement.

"Can't sleep, so I'm gonna take a hike," Rikku whispered.  She heard more sounds of rustling and bit back a yelp when she felt him touch her elbow.

"Then, let us go together.  There's no rest for me here tonight, either," Braska said, and Rikku bit back a sigh of disappointment.  What she _really_ wanted was to be alone, to mull over the meaning of her dream and its possible consequences.  Were the Fayth trying to communicate with her, or was she letting her own fears plague her even in sleep?  She let out her breath; either way, she couldn't find it in herself to turn Braska down.  Considering the potency of her own dream, maybe it actually _was_ her fault that he couldn't sleep either.

They exited the room as quietly as possible, blinking to adjust to the soft lighting of the inn's tiny hallway.

"Oh!  You forgot your robe," Braska observed with some concern.

Rikku stared and tried to remember to close her jaw.  "You forgot yours, too," she replied, her eyes wide.  It wasn't so much the lack of formal summoning robes that surprised her, rather that Braska forgot his _braid_ .  Not that she could blame him; while keeping her own hair up made it easier to care for on the road, it _did_ get a little itchy after a while.  Guadosalam was also the first "comfortable" pit stop they’d reached since the start of the Pilgrimage.  She stared at Braska's hair, which hung straight down his back, longer than her own and the color of burnished copper.

Noticing her scrutiny, Braska touched his head.  "So I did.  Is it a problem?"

Rikku shook her head.  Just looking at Braska was making her own scalp itch, though.  Decision made, she pulled off her bandana and let her hair down.  "No, this is perfect!  We'll tour the city incognito!  If we both let our braids out, nobody'll recognize us!"

"I’m not sure it will be quite that easy to mask our presence here,” Braska murmured, trying to stifle a laugh.

Ignoring him, Rikku struggled with the tangles in her unruly hair.  "You could be a little more optimistic you know," she puffed as she worked.  “It’s not like we’re famous here, right?”

Braska’s snicker was lost to Rikku’s yelp of pain.  She winced as her fingers caught on a particularly nasty snarl while pulling at a bead decorating one of her braids.

"Wait."

Rikku felt another pair of hands join her own.  Braska gave her a warm smile and continued to untangle her hair even after she froze.

"It will be faster if I help."

"Yeah," Rikku said and tried to ignore his knuckles brushing across her scalp.  Instead, she concentrated on unravelling the braid in her hand as quickly as possible.  In a matter of moments, it was done.  Her own mop of hair would never be as smooth and well-behaved as Braska's, but it was still a relief to have it fall loosely around her ears.  "Wow, I keep forgetting how long it's gotten," she giggled as she fluffed it out a few times.

Braska stepped back to admire her and feeling a little self-conscious, Rikku finished finger-combing through her hair and tied her bandana around her neck.  The beads she slipped into an empty pocket.  When she was done, she tilted her head and gave Braska a sassy grin. "How do you like me now?"

Braska opened his mouth but stopped, as if checking his words, and smiled at her.  "It suits you very well."  The smile faltered as his eyes moved down over her distinct travelling outfit.  "But what of your robe?"

Rikku shrugged.  "Do I really need it here?  The Guado hate Yevonites just as much as they hate the Al Bhed.  Besides, it won't matter once we cross the Moonflow."  It was true; most people would be too busy eating, sleeping and dreaming about Blitzball to pay attention to anything but their favorite athletes.  Even the Al Bhed team had earned its share of notoriety in Luca.  Rikku guessed her appearance would be the least of their concerns; more likely than not it was Jecht's boundless enthusiasm that would prove their real problem.  She smirked.  More like _Auron's_ problem.

Braska's uncertainty evaporated.  "You're right," he agreed, his shoulders straightening. "We can be free, here, for tonight."

Rikku’s grin spread and she hooked her elbow around his own, dragging him down the hall.  "That's right!  No Summoners and no Guardians.  Just two people hanging out!"  They spilled onto one of the sleepy town's thoroughfares, and she released Braska to run towards the edge of the road and drink in the sight.  "I gotta hand it to the Guado: they sure do know how to decorate a place!"

Braska grinned as he joined her side.  "I do not believe this is all the fruits of Guado architecture.  Much of it seems to be the natural beauty of the cavern."  His eyes drifted the source of most of the soft illumination in the city.  "I could not imagine the gateway of the Farplane to be otherwise."

Rikku found her eyes drawn to the path as well, and the momentary exhilaration she'd felt at their escape faded away.   _That's the way home.  If the Fayth won't take me back, then I’ve got to try here._

"Are you coming with us into the Farplane later?"  Braska's question caught her by surprise and for a moment, she stared, convinced she'd been caught red-handed in her plan to bail out from his Pilgrimage.  If flinging herself into the Farplane could be called much of a plan.   _Running away_ seemed more accurate.

"I... don't know, yet," Rikku answered, shifting her weight.

"I know the Al Bhed beliefs, Rikkma.  It's quite all right if you wish to remain outside of the Farplane while we pay our respects."

Rikku glanced up at the path again, frowning.  "We'll see when we get there, okay?"  Memories of the dream tickled at her mind, and Rikku shrugged off the feeling of discomfort and foreboding that swept through her.

**.x.x.x.**

"Whoa, Blondie, ya let yer hair down!"

Rikku winced and gave a small wave towards Jecht, who was shambling down the path towards them.  Auron followed him, his face devoid of expression as he watched her return from her stroll with Braska.

"Well, Braska did too, so it's okay, see?"  Gathering her courage, she forced herself to meet Auron’s gaze and was surprised when he broke contact first, turning his head away.  Rikku did a double-take.  Since when did _she_ win stare-downs with Auron?  The man didn't blink!  It was like he wasn't even trying!

"It looks like you enjoyed yourselves," Auron told Braska.

A mental circuit fired in Rikku's head.  She licked her lips in apprehension – she hadn't _meant_ for it to look like she ditched the group to run off with Braska, even if that was what had  happened.  What she really wanted was a chance to think, to distance herself and gather the courage to do what she knew needed to be done at the Farplane.  Braska's presence was more of an accident than a planned _date._  Why did Auron have to start getting sensitive _now,_ of all times?

Rikku slapped herself mentally in the midst of trying to come up with a justification for her behavior that would ease the tension off his face.   _Why do I need to apologize to him?  I'm going to be leaving anyhow.  Maybe it's better like this.  Still..._ The guilt gnawed at her with more persistence than a hungry Zanarkand monkey.  An idea struck her, and Rikku directed a brilliant smile towards Auron.

"You should let your hair down too, you know!"

He looked at her in surprise before his face hardened into a more typical frown.  "A warrior-monk never wears his hair loose."

"Oh, I think we can bend the rules a little, Auron," Braska interjected.  "I don't believe the Guado will protest if you step out of uniform just for today."

Jecht joined the assault, always eager for opportunities to heckle Auron.  "Just leave the Stiff alone.  Auron knows he can't beat my good looks – we don't gotta rub it in."

Rolling his eyes upward, Auron let out a gusty sigh and reached behind his head.  Rikku's breath caught as he pulled away the leather tie holding his hair back, sending dark waves spilling over his shoulders.  It contrasted sharply against the paleness of his skin and the bright red of his coat.  Jecht had it all wrong – with his hair down, Auron looked even _more_ like a Blitzball star than ever before.  It was too bad that he was crap at swimming.

"This is ridiculous," Auron grumbled, reaching to tie back his hair at the sound of Rikku's smothered laughter.

"No, don't do that!  I like it!  I was just thinking it's a good thing there aren't that many girls around."  She smiled at Auron shyly.  

"Yeah,” Jecht laughed, “Otherwise Blondie here would have to spend all her free time beatin’ down the competition, right?”

"Shut your mouth," Auron snapped at Jecht.  He kept his hair down, though, and Rikku hid another smile behind a cough.

"So where are we going now?" she asked, stretching her arms over her head and popping her shoulders.

Braska studied their group, then shrugged.  "We are together now... perhaps we should see the Farplane.  It is still early enough to be free of most visitors."

"Farplane?" Jecht asked as they moved towards the winding pathway to their destination. "What's that?"

"It is the place where our dead come to rest," Braska explained as they walked.  "One of the most important summoner's duties is to gather the remnants of deceased spirits and send them to the Farplane before they can be warped by hatred and envy."

"Warped?" Jecht asked.  "How can ya warp a soul?  And how d’ya know you're sending them spirits to the right place?  How d’ya even know dead people _got_ souls?"

Auron laughed.  "To think the Church let _us_ travel on a Pilgrimage."  Sobering, he continued in a quieter voice as they passed two stern-looking Guado sentries.  "Don't say such things loudly.  Yevon would persecute you as a heretic, and rightly so."

"It is true, Jecht," Braska explained.  "Even if you disagree with the Church and its teachings, the presence of deceased souls in Spira is unmistakable.  The body is a husk for the soul, and when freed from that constraint, the soul is released to wander the earth.  When I perform a Sending, I can feel them.  As an observer, you, too, can see them – they take on the form of pyreflies."

"Pyreflies.  You're kiddin’ me.  Those are _dead people?_ "  Jecht looked disturbed.  "Blondie, tell me the truth here!"

Rikku sighed.  "Even if Yevon gets most things wrong, they can be right about stuff sometimes."

"Alright, so they're dead people!"  Jecht frowned.  "Holy shit.  But, 'ey... aren't fiends, y'know, made of them pyrefly-thingies?"

"Exactly," Braska replied.  "That is why it is a Summoner's duty to ensure the peace of the newly departed by Sending them.  Otherwise, a malcontent soul will be transformed into a fiend."

Jecht was silent for a few moments, digesting the information.  He scratched his head.  "Yeah, but... uh, if you know all this already, why are there still so many fiends wanderin' around everywhere?"  Uncomfortable silence blanketed the group, and Jecht scowled.  "What'd I say?"

"Sin," Rikku replied, letting anger seep into her voice at the reminder of what she had to do.  "The fiends are there because of Sin."

The discussion died out as the swirling portal of cool light came into view, and Jecht let out a low whistle.  "Damn.  And we're gonna go inside of that?"

Rikku tuned out the chatter as Jecht peppered the others with questions about the Farplane, pyreflies, and "seeing dead people."  Thoughts of her dream and the future crowded her head, and she was glad that her friends were occupied.  Her steps slowed as she trailed to the side of the path, caught up in her own thoughts.  Of condemning Auron to his death and Jecht to many long years of torture and suffering.  Braska's sacrifice, both in his life and through his death.  But what about Yuna's sacrifice?  Was it any less important?  Or was it even more important?  Hers had led to a world without Sin.  A world without Auron.

Rikku studied the man in question – he was arguing with Jecht, of course.  She smiled; yes, her wish had come true.  This wasn't her Auron – he was gone, never to return; she understood that now.  But he, too, was Auron, perhaps even more real than the man she'd thought she'd loved.  He was a real person, not just a mishmash of pyreflies, hopes and failed dreams.  As if he could feel her stare, he met her eyes, brows drawing together.  Rikku ducked his gaze.   _I need to let him go._

"Auron!  Stop spacin' out on me, I was in the middle of talkin' to ya!"

Jecht's rough voice broke the spell, and Rikku winced... she'd let herself get trapped into thinking about Auron _again_ – selfishly, she guessed Bahamut would say.   _And that's why you have to leave, Rikku.  You have to._  Her feet refused to move.

"You have decided not to come inside with us then?" Braska asked her.

"I – " Rikku stalled, fidgeting.  She looked at the swirling portal of light.

"No... please, Rikkma.  You don't have to force yourself to make a decision right now.  I can see that you are not ready," Braska told her, grasping her shoulders.

Rikku's eyes snapped to Braska as his voice echoed Bahamut's dream words.  A look of confusion passed over his face and he released her.  "Please wait for us here."  It sounded more like an order than a request, and Rikku frowned.  "Jecht, Auron."

"So you just step through?" Jecht peered at the wall of light, tapping it with a fingertip.  Ripples spread through the air where he touched.  At Braska's nod, Jecht repressed his shudder, and – mumbling something about ghosts under his breath – leapt through the portal in one giant bound.  Braska made to follow him but paused when he noticed that Auron wasn't moving.

"Auron?"

"I'll wait," Auron said.  "Too many memories."

Braska nodded.  "Very well.  Stay here with Rikkma."  That, too, sounded like a command, and Rikku felt her frown deepening.  Was Braska really ordering Auron to keep an eye on her?  And more importantly, _why?_  Before she could question him, he inhaled sharply and disappeared into the portal.  Silence descended, and Rikku scuffed the toes of her boots on the rocky ground.

"Say, Auron," she called out after a few uncomfortable moments.  "Why'd you stay?  They're only gonna let us in once.  This is your big chance!"

Auron shook his head.  "My chance for what?  To see the faces of the men I've killed in the name of Yevon?"

Rikku winced.  "... I guess I hadn't thought about it like that."  She scuffed her toe into the ground again.  "You're not mad at me, are you?  I mean, for taking a walk with Braska earlier?"

Sighing, Auron leaned against the wall and met her gaze.  "I said you'd have nothing to worry about from me."

"Really?"  She crept towards him.  " 'Cause I could be wrong about this, but you kinda looked a little pissed off there."

Auron shrugged.  "Do what you like."

Rikku smirked and inched closer to him.  "Some girls might take that as an invitation, you know."

His reaction wasn't the one she'd hoped for; instead of laughing – or even better, reciprocating – he glared at her.  "But don't toy with him."  He paused.  "Or me."

Rikku felt her already short temper – which wasn't being helped along by her lack of sleep – flaring in indignation.  "Maybe I wouldn't toy with you if you'd throw me a bone here!  In case you haven't noticed, I like you.  And I don't mean it in that 'Oh, you're a great guy' kind of way.  I _like_ like you!  But sometimes it feels like you don't even care!"

Auron frowned, tightening his grip on his arms.  "I refuse to be a replacement for – "

Rikku stomped her foot.  "That's a cheap excuse you told me to stop using already.  Why don't you take your own advice?  I'm talking to _you_ right now, not _him!_ "  She clapped a hand over her mouth after she finished blurting out her protest.  Mostly out of shock, but also to hide the grin that was spreading across her face.  

There.  She'd done it.  Auron would probably burst a blood vessel, most likely one of hers, if he suspected she was laughing at him now, of all times, but she couldn't push down the feeling of elation blossoming in her chest.  She'd said it to his face.   _Him._   _He_ was not the Auron she had foolishly crushed on, not the enigmatic man that no one, not even Tidus, could read.  Not _this_ Auron.  For once, she was taking a chance, stretching out, and putting her heart on the line – and for a _real_ person this time.  

Rikku swallowed and dropped her hand away from her mouth as the enormity of her proposal hit her.   _This_ Auron was not a romanticized construct of her own mind.  This Auron could, and probably _would,_ shoot her down at any moment.  If there was one thing young Auron had in common with his older, deader self, it was a complete lack of interest in the opposite sex.

Auron simply sighed in response and refused to meet her eye, muttering something under his breath.

"What was that?" Rikku asked, planting her hands on her hips.  Whether Auron was cold-blooded or not, everyone knew the first rule in the battle of the sexes was to never admit defeat.  "If you're not interested in me, you only have to _say_ it, you know."  She decided not to mention that she wouldn't necessarily be inclined to listen to him.  

If there was one thing she was learning, it was that time with Auron was a luxury she didn't have.  Even now, Rikku knew what they _did_ have was stolen from the future.  That was what her nightmare had been trying to tell her, wasn’t it?  That it was okay to have a selfish dream.  As long as you knew it was a dream and that one day, you'd have to wake up.  So what if she was making him uncomfortable?  If all she had was borrowed time, she’d stalk him if necessary.

 _Besides, time travel doesn't count as stalking,_ she exculpated.  Relatively speaking, _he_ was the one who was inconveniencing _her,_ right?

"... it's acceptable," Auron said, still not facing her.

"What?" Rikku pulled herself out of her thoughts and struggled to make a connection.  "Wait, say that again!" she demanded.

Was Auron... flushing?   _Huh.  I guess he's not a graceful blusher, either,_ Rikku noted with a gleeful smirk.  That, or the stone-faced Guardian was coming down with a mild skin rash.  She held her tongue, enjoying his growing look of discomfort.

"Your hair.  It looks... acceptable."  He paused at Rikku's obvious hesitation.  "Right now," he added, finally meeting her stare.

Rikku glowed under the compliment.  "You like my hair down?" she asked, patting it self-consciously.  Then her glow faded into indignation.  "Wait, just _acceptable?_  Is that the best you can do?"  Life just wasn't fair, Rikku decided.  Braska and Auron could put the best of Luca's Blitzball celebrities to shame just by letting their hair down, and all _she_ got was an "acceptable."  She scowled and crossed her arms.

"It looks better this way than that crow's nest you usually wear," he added with a slight hint of humor, refusing to give in to her pout.  The smirk faded, but Auron didn't look away.  "I think it makes you look more mature."  He paused again and let his eyes flicker over her face, as if searching for something.  "And more difficult to ignore."

"That's not a bad thing," she said, taking a few steps towards him, but stopped when he turned away.

"Braska noticed, too."

She frowned.  "But I want _you_ to notice."  Her statement hung in the air, unchallenged, and she took a stab at the invisible wall standing between them.  "You know, this morning... that wasn't something we planned.  It was just a coincidence!  I woke up early and so did Braska, and... and we both kind of decided to go out."  Auron stiffened and she winced at her choice of words.  

"Not like a date!  Just to look around the city!  I mean, if I wanted a date, I would've asked him.  He just sorta came along, you know?"   _Hmm…_ this honesty stuff wasn't going quite as far as she'd hoped, judging from the expression on Auron's face.

"Rikku... you're not afraid of facing your feelings, are you?"  Auron looked at her; the motion caused his hair to spill over his face, obscuring one eye.

She swallowed.  "No."

He tilted his head towards the Farplane.  "Then join Braska."

Rikku balled her hands into fists.  "I think staying right here is _acceptable,_ thank you very much."  She took another few steps towards Auron and then hefted herself onto the ledge right next to him, grinning when he didn't shift away.  "Besides... I'm not afraid of how I feel.  That's why I'd rather be with you right now."

Auron said nothing, but she managed to invade his personal space without resistance.  He still faced away from her, arms crossed, but some of the tension faded from his posture as she leaned first a shoulder, and then a cheek against his exposed back.

"You're a foolish girl," Auron told her gruffly, but allowed her to remain seated against him as he stared into the soft, liquid glow of the Farplane.

Rikku closed her eyes and ignored his words, choosing instead to soak in the warmth radiating from his body.  This Auron was flesh and blood, no matter how cold he sounded.  Contentment flooded her as she pressed an ear against his coat, trying to find the beat of his heart.  She let herself be lulled by the gentle sound of his steady breathing and the soft, distant hum of the Farplane.

_Nothing's stopping you from going back right now._

Rikku squeezed her eyes together and moved her head just enough to brush the fabric of Auron's coat with her lips.  She inhaled deeply, relishing the musky scent of the sweat-stained garment.  Traces of ozone and the faintest whiff of Macalania's forests mixed in with the smell that was uniquely Auron, and Rikku had to stop herself from reaching out to grip it and clutch it to her chest – particularly since Auron was still wearing the garment.

_Maybe it's selfish, but this is my dream._

She didn't know how much time passed as she half-dozed, free of her worries and content to just _be_ in that moment.  Auron remained silent but she could tell from the soft, steady pull of his breath that he wasn't sleeping.  Did he feel the satisfaction she did?  Did being so near bring him the same comfort?  Rikku didn't want to ask.

Instead, she kept her eyes closed and allowed herself to picture Auron's face, smoothing away the worry lines that usually marked his face.  Reaching up, she grabbed a strand of his hair and cracked an eye open.

"Can I have this?" she asked.

Auron grunted in response, not bothering to turn around, and Rikku took that as a sign of acceptance.  With a sharp jerk, she pulled the hair free of his head.

Auron twitched in pain and sat up, causing Rikku to lose her balance.  He turned around and glared, and Rikku giggled as she twined the hair around her finger.  "Something to remember you by," she murmured, tucking it safely away in one of her pockets.

Opening his mouth, Auron seemed like he was about to say something.  He changed his mind, however, after looking at her closely.  "I'm still here," he replied, searching her face.

_As long as you remember you have to wake up someday._

Rikku couldn't bring herself to reassure him with a smile, and instead looked at the Farplane.  "I – " she started, and then stopped, squinting at the portal as two nebulous shadows formed behind the barrier.  "I think they're back," she finished, pointing.

Jecht's voice bounced over the steps, too loud in Rikku's ears as he exited the Farplane.  "... besides my old man!  It's cool and all, but I didn't see anyone I knew!"

Braska was right behind him, his modulated voice more muted than usual.  "You should be thankful that you have known so little loss in your Zanarkand.”  He paused on the steps, catching sight of Rikku and Auron sitting together, and stared for a moment before continuing his descent.

Rikku bit her lip and glanced at Auron, whose brow had creased.  She hopped off of the ledge and watched Braska approach.  He looked even more tired than he had during their trek through the snowfields.  Even Jecht caught on to the mood and fell silent.

"He saw Raenn," Auron supplied under his breath, and Rikku nodded her head in acknowledgement.  

She tensed when Braska stopped before her to study her face.  He said nothing, and she fidgeted under his piercing gaze.  "Umm, Braska?"   Why was he just standing there?  It was the same as in the agency before – almost as if he was looking _through_ her.

Without warning, Braska reached out and caught a lock of her hair.  He smiled faintly before releasing it, although his eyes remained cool and icy.

"Put your hair back up, Rikkma."  Once again, it sounded like an order, not a request.  

Rikku bit back the feeling of hurt that sprung up in her chest as Braska started his return towards Guadosalam without even acknowledging her.  He’d withdrawn from them, though it didn't take a genius to figure out why.  Heck, even Jecht could understand what was bothering Braska right now.

"So, do these Guado have any good pubs we could hit before we go?" Jecht asked, breaking the silence.

 _Or maybe not,_ Rikku amended as she spun away from them to separate a few long strands of her hair.  She ignored Auron as he brushed by, choosing instead to stay behind and re-do her hairstyle.  The Farplane was bringing out _the best_ in everybody, and all she really wanted at the moment was the same thing she had that morning – to be left alone.

**.x.x.x.**

Auron scowled as he left Rikku behind, catching up to Jecht.  "Searching for a pub here would be inappropriate behavior, even for someone like you."

" ‘ey!  Whaddaya mean, _'someone like me?'_  I'm just a simple guy lookin' for a good time!"  Jecht shrugged.  "You need to lighten up, man."

Auron sucked in his breath to reply, but Braska stopped him.  "Let him go," he said.  "You have my permission to leave, Jecht.  Do what you like, so long as you rejoin us by this evening."

"Hah!  Looks like you lost this match, pal!"  Jecht waved triumphantly as he jogged back towards the city – a disgruntled Auron and an unnaturally calm Braska left behind.

"My lord!" Auron sputtered, turning to Braska with a look of complete disbelief.  "Why did you give that fool permission to drink himself into a stupor?  He’ll only embarrass – "

Braska waved his hand, silencing Auron's protest with a shake of his head.  "You do not understand.  Jecht needs this."

"Of course he _needs_ this!" Auron exploded.  "He's a drunkard!  He'll always _need_ to drink!"  Taking a deep breath, Auron pinched the bridge of his nose and forced himself to calm down.  "I understand if you're upset with us, but that's no reason to allow Jecht to run wild."

Braska's expression flickered; his voice was weary, but with an air of long-suffering patience, he strove to answer Auron.  "As much as he likes to hide it, Jecht is also only human.  He misses his family."

Auron grimaced.  "What family?  I and half of Guadosalam heard Jecht's claim that he didn't see anyone he recognized in there."  He crossed his arms.

Braska offered him a small, humorless smile.  "All the more reason to miss his family, would you not say?"  Though his tone was mild, Braska's words were blunt, his posture stiff.  Auron remained silent, and Braska sighed with exasperation.  "Let him go.  It would be better for Jecht to attempt to overcome his sorrow in a place less steeped in them."

"... and what if he doesn't?"  Auron said it as more than mere possibility.  "Are we to allow him to drink his way through the rest of this Pilgrimage?"

"Jecht is stronger than you think," Braska snapped.  "He _will_ overcome this in time."

" _Perhaps_ ," Auron said, and Braska fell silent at the unvoiced accusation of hypocrisy.   _Just like you recovered from Raenn’s death?_  A tense moment stretched between the two; they both kept their gaze away from Rikku, who hadn’t followed them.

Auron capitulated first.  He sighed and rubbed an uneasy hand through his hair, scooping it back up into its usual ponytail.  "This is ridiculous."  Looking at Braska, his deep frown eased along with his tone, losing much of its anger.  "All of Spira is steeped in sorrow.  Leaving the walls of Guadosalam won't allow Jecht to escape it any more than finding solace in a bottle would."

Some of the stiffness faded from Braska's posture; the corners of his mouth were pulling into a wry grin.  "It is strange, but I had always thought I would be happier to hear you standing up to me."  He looked over his shoulder at Rikku, who was bent away from them.  She was struggling with her wild hair, and the faint hint of amusement left his expression.  "Sometimes we need to forget, no matter what the price may be."

Auron allowed himself to follow Braska's example, watching Rikku.  The illumination of the Farplane cast a bluish halo around her while at the same time encasing her body in shadows.  He was reminded of the Espada, of the contrast of harsh sun glinting off bright snow against the strange creature's light-absorbing form.

Watching her, Auron understood they were arguing over more than Jecht's drinking habits; he’d let himself be goaded into making a choice regarding the girl.  A choice that didn't suit Braska, even if the other man had been doing much of the goading.  

A stab of uncertainty plagued him, and Auron grimaced in displeasure at the unfamiliar feeling.   His life had always been lived on the principles of certainty – he knew who he was, what he believed in and where he was going.  Those things were crumbling now, like sandcastles washed away in high tide.  They had been since his fall from Yevon's grace, but meeting Rikku transformed slow erosion into a cascading avalanche.

Maybe it was no coincidence that she looked so like the fiend that had nearly destroyed them in the snowfields of Macalania.  She might succeed where the Espada had failed.  He looked away and focused on Braska.

"I am not angry at either of you," Braska said.  "Rikkma cares deeply for you."  A long, pained silence hung in the air, and Auron hid his wince.  Braska's sandcastles were also crumbling into dust, creating a strange dichotomy in his usually placid demeanor.  "You do not have to be ashamed of your own feelings for her," he said so softly that Auron almost missed the words.  "People cannot control whom they choose to love."

 _Love?_  Auron flinched at the word and Braska's head jerked up; with a start, he realized Braska had been talking to _himself_ .  The other man gathered his composure and smoothed his face into its usual smile, as though they had not been arguing just moments before.  "It is not something you should fear, and it is _your_ choice this time.  You have nothing to lose if you will admit you can have feelings.  In fact, you have everything to gain."

And there it was; perhaps the one force that could stop the turmoil Rikku had released from destroying their small party.  But it was only Braska, their _Summoner,_ who was strong enough to harness it – the one thing he clung to more tightly than his own grief.

_Duty._

Auron's uncertainty faded into a sharp spike of anger.  He held onto it for as long as he could, because it was marginally better than the shame.

"My feelings?"  Auron closed his expression.  "My feelings don't matter, and neither do hers.  What matters is the Pilgrimage – "

"No," Braska said vehemently.  "Love _is_ what matters.  It is the one thing that gives Spira strength.  Not the Pilgrimages, nor the Summoners..."  He paused to catch his breath.  "Love is what allows people to continue living in this world of Sin – what gives people their _true_ hope.  Love of life, of this world, even of self – but most of all love for others.  My love for Raenn is what makes this Pilgrimage possible."

Auron looked at Braska, his expression hard.  "And love for Rikkma could _end_ it," he answered.  "Yours _or_ mine... it doesn't really matter, does it?"

Braska's lips twitched into a bitter smile.  "Always blunt, aren't you?  I'm not ashamed of my own feelings, either.  But I know what I need to do.  Nothing will deter me from that path.  You, on the other hand..."  His face softened.  "Auron, you will have your whole life ahead of you when we have completed our journey.  Do you really want to spend the rest of that life alone?"

"Do you think me blind?  I'm your Guardian before I'm your friend," Auron countered.  "My job is to protect you from harm, not to be the cause of it."

Braska pursed his lips together and resumed his slow pace down the rocky corridor.  "That is exactly your problem.  You still have not fully understood which of your two roles is more important."  He spoke carefully, as though forming the words were difficult.  "I am asking you to follow your heart _as a friend_."

"And as your Guardian, I'm refusing," Auron replied.

"One day you might realize that you do not have the power to make that choice," Braska chided him.

**.x.x.x.**

There was a definite difference between wanting a little alone time and being left in the dust, Rikku thought with a touch of annoyance.  She sprinted down the pathway, still struggling to scoop her unruly hair into its trademark ponytail.  "Hey, wait you guys!" she called out, tripping over her feet as a chunk of hair fell into her eyes.

Auron and Braska faced her; it looked like she was interrupting some sort of discussion.  Jecht, of course, was nowhere to be seen; apparently, the speed of his gait was directly proportional to the amount of bars in the vicinity.

Braska bestowed a mild smile upon Rikku when she came to a stop beside them.  "Rikkma.  I must apologize for my rudeness just now.  My request was very selfish."

Rikku blinked at Braska's phrasing and glanced at Auron, who ignored her and looked in the opposite direction.   _Just as well,_ Rikku thought; being able to look _this_ Auron in the face wouldn't make her decision any easier.  She took a deep breath, oblivious to the tension between the two men as she waded through her own jumbled thoughts.

_It's now or never._

Steeling herself, Rikku looked Braska squarely in the eye.

"Braska... I want to stay here a little longer.  Will it be alright if I meet you back at the inn later?  There's something I need to do."

Braska looked surprised at her request.  "Something you need to do?  Did you change your mind about the Farplane?"

Rikku nodded.  "I have to see if I can face my own memories," she supplied, almost managing to keep her voice from quavering.  Not enough, however, as Auron gave her a perturbed look over his shoulder.

Braska's expression softened.  "So you'll be leaving us, then?" he asked, and Rikku couldn't help but shiver at his choice of words.

"I..."  She swallowed, feeling Auron's eyes boring into her.  "I just want to see," she mumbled.

"Ah," Braska said.  Then he gave her a genuine, heartbreaking smile.  "We will be at the inn until tomorrow morning.  Take as long as you need."  With a short bow, he continued down the passage.  Auron held back, still staring at Rikku.

"How long _will_ you need?" he asked, searching her face.  She could tell what he was really asking: _are you leaving us?_

Rikku hesitated.  Even if it was time for her dream to end, she couldn't just go without saying some sort of goodbye.  Not now, when she'd finally managed to steal a little piece of happiness for herself.

"I don't know," she admitted.  "But if I'm not back by tomorrow morning, don't wait up for me."

For once, Auron didn't grow angry, as she expected him to.  Instead, he looked grim.  "Braska already knows you're planning to leave us, doesn't he?"

Rikku shook her head in denial.  "I don't know.  I mean I don't want to, but I – "

Auron cut her off.  "No.  Don't tell me.  Do what you need to do."

Rikku gaped.  "What, no arguments?  Since when did you get so understanding, huh?  What exactly did Braska say to you anyway?"

Auron sighed and passed a hand over his eyes.  After a moment's pause, he answered her.  "Sometimes... we need to put friendship over duty."  He dropped his palm and gave her a hard look.  "Go, then.  Do whatever it is that you need to."

Rikku stared at him.  "I'm sorry."

Auron studied her for a moment longer.  "I need to be with Braska now," he answered.  "But I'll wait for you, Rikku."

She watched him walk away.   _"I'll wait for you,"_ he had said.  Not _"we'll wait for you."_  Just **_I_ ** _._  Auron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16. A lot of things changed. Plotwise not very much, but all the dialogue etc.


	24. Plant Plié

Rikku loitered at the end of the path, trying to decide whether the heaviness in her stomach was the result of guilt or relief – or maybe just the Guado spicy bread she had earlier.   Sucking in her breath, she marched towards the portal leading into the Farplane.

Even in the past, it looked the same as ever – a red stone hexagon etched into Guadosalam's darkened walls, surrounded by mist and pyreflies.  Six cloudy windows surrounded the portal that framed the doorway into another dimension; it was a work no mortal hand could have created, and yet somehow it was too perfect to have been achieved by nature alone.

It was as though the gateway itself was summoned into existence – but no one could answer the question of how it came to be.  According to legends, the gateway had existed long before the art of Summoning.  The Farplane was eternal, an ancient and sacred place even in Shuyin and Lenne's era a thousand years ago.  The portal was as much a part of Spira as its sky and seas.  Perhaps it was the Farplane itself that had created the Summoners, and not the other way around.

All too suddenly, Rikku’s feet carried her to the entrance of Spira's eternal mystery.  She shook her head and tried to remind herself of Al Bhed lore – that the Farplane was nothing more than the home of the pyreflies, that it wasn't truly a bridge between the world of the living and the dead.  Then she let out a soft sigh.   _ Who am I kidding?  I don't believe those teachings anymore. _ She thought of Braska, of even Yuna's unshakable faith despite everything the other girl knew and had seen.

_ I guess even Al Bhed can be wrong sometimes.  We really do let our pride blind us, don't we? _  The portal seemed to sigh and ripple in response, pyreflies dancing around her.  Souls, she'd told Jecht when he'd asked; she believed that now.  They  _ were _ souls, releasing their sorrows as they sang nostalgic memories of their forgotten lives, searching for someplace to call a home, waiting to be reborn.

She stared into the swirling light, then reached out and touched the barrier.  It pulsed under her palm, scattering fractured rays of light into the air.  A wave of dizziness hit her, along with a tickling sensation.   _ It's not cold like before. _  Bright colors beckoned to her, and every sense was singing with anticipation.   _ If I could just break through, _ she thought to herself with a sudden, almost violent need.  Somehow, she knew everything would be okay in the Farplane; every mistake she made, every question and uncertainty she felt would be set to rights.  There would be no more doubting, no worrying about Sin's attacks, Jecht's drinking habits, Braska's depression, or even Auron's temper –

_ Warmth, and the steady beat of a heart against her cheek. _

Rikku's certainty wavered, but the feeling of  _ rightness _ pulled at her again, and she shook her head.

"This is what I want. This is what Spira needs."

Her words cut through the silence with startling clarity.  Rikku really didn't enjoy the sound of her own voice, despite Brother's petulant claims to the contrary.  She thought it too childish; she couldn't manage Lulu's smooth, throaty timber without sounding like she had a terrible chest cold, and she didn't even bother trying to emulate Yuna’s musical, breathy pitch.  But somehow, hearing her own imperfect voice echoing in her ears broke the incessant need to pass through the barrier.  If everything was  _ right _ behind it, why did her voice still sound so  _ wrong? _

The nostalgia and contentment the Farplane brought to its visitors was no surprise to Rikku, though she was uneasy at their intensity.  Still – everyone felt the pull to some extent when surrounded by the otherworldly atmosphere.  Despite the sensations it evoked, however, people always said something was slightly off about it.  Beautiful as it was, most visitors were eager to leave when they finished paying their respects.

Here, though, it was different.  The Farplane's call felt  _ perfect; _ there was no longing to return to the real world.  It was as though the slight oddness, the strange dichotomy between comfort and alienation had vanished completely.  In fact, being this close to the portal made Rikku feel as though the rest of the world was off, rather than the Farplane itself:  like putting on a pair of glasses and seeing the world come into focus for the first time.  Only it wasn't her sight that had sharpened, but her feelings.

_ It's like... coming home _ .  The way Home had felt, before Yevon had blown it to bits.  Or maybe the way the Celsius felt, after all the time she'd spent on it as a Gullwing.  With a sudden pang, Rikku realized how much she missed her Brother's scolding, Buddy's even-tempered interventions, and even Shinra's boasting.

The Farplane's entrance churned, jagged streaks of shadow trailing after her fingers where they penetrated the light, reflecting and amplifying her own doubts.  Rikku frowned; why was she hesitating?  She stared into the now-murky depths of the portal.  The sense of longing fought for dominance over her newfound reluctance.

_ Because he's waiting for you. _  The darkness in the portal spread, mingling with the clear light and turning it into a distorted swirl of grey clouds.  "I can't be of two minds," Rikku mumbled.  That was what Auron had told her, wasn't it?  To choose one path and to follow it.  Wasn't that exactly what she was forcing Auron to do?  To choose between protecting Braska and pursuing her?  Between his feelings as a Guardian and her desire for his affection?

She thought of Auron as she'd known him during Yuna's Pilgrimage; he had possessed a dedication to duty that would have impressed his younger self.  She wondered if Auron would recognize who he'd become in the future, if he could know.  The thought of Auron meeting himself stilled her confusion.

_ No... he wouldn't be surprised, _ Rikku concluded with reluctance.   _ I keep trying to fool myself but in the end, they're the same person. _

Steeling herself, Rikku leaned into the portal.  The warmth blanketed her as it never had before, and a small sigh of release escaped from her lips.

_ Is this what it's like when you die?  Is this what he felt that time?  No wonder he didn't want to stay with the rest of us. _

Something warm traced a path down her cheek, tickling the side of her nose.  Rikku's tongue darted out and met with the taste of salt.  She realized with some surprise that both of her cheeks were wet.

_ Why am I crying?  It's just the Farplane! _

But it wasn't; she was drowning in emotions.  The Farplane was turning every stray thought she had into powerful feelings that assaulted her.  She couldn't shake the image of him turned away from them, gruff and tired, his graying hair bathed in the light of Sin's destruction even as his soul dissolved into pyreflies before her very eyes and  _ he never looked back, not even once – _

A familiar whistle filled Rikku's ears, one that was steadily growing louder.

_ I've heard this before. It's like pyreflies screaming... _

The whistle became a roar, and Rikku recognized it as the faint strains she'd heard in the Farplane Wind she'd pulled from the Espada.  But the strand was only a simple melody; the Farplane itself was pure, orchestrated chaos.  Despite the screaming in her ears there was no discomfort.  It was the direct opposite of the painful, abrupt shock she'd felt before the Chamber of the Fayth; if anything, the cries were almost seductive, hypnotizing her with its pull.

The Legendary Guardian hadn't looked back, not for Yuna, not even for Tidus.  But the young man who had yet to fill that role, the man with the smooth-skinned face and two eyes had sought her out in the darkness of Guadosalam, had told her he would wait for her.

Scared, Rikku tried to pull back.  Maybe Bahamut was right; maybe she wasn't ready yet.  Her hand, though, refused to cooperate, no matter how much she tugged.  A spike of panic shot through her and she stopped fighting.

"Let me go," she demanded, as though the Farplane itself was a living entity.  There was no answer but her body remained stationary, arm outstretched, even as her mind raced.  Then she felt it; a change in the song of the pyreflies, a presence she was coming to know all too well.

_ Bahamut! _  Rikku whipped her head around, searching for the usual manifestation, but all she saw nothing.  "You're not going to hold me here!  Not this time!"  Gritting her teeth, Rikku struggled against her partial-paralysis.  With enough effort, she could shift her body forward, but it still felt like she was trying to wade through Wakka's hair gel.  Experimentally, Rikku pushed her weight backwards; movement was easier when she stopped trying to force her way into the Farplane.  Frustrated, Rikku focused instead on dropping her hand.

As if sensing her capitulation, the hold on her body eased, and Rikku grimaced.  It wasn't very fun being held hostage by an aeon, and not even knowing how or why he was doing it.  As soon as she could move, her hand darted to her belt.  It was a long shot, but Rikku remembered the shock she'd experienced the first time she used it in Bevelle – the white lightning that had raced through her veins.  If the pain it caused was the exact opposite of the warmth and comfort of the Farplane, then maybe it was just what she needed to shock herself out of Bahamut's grasp.   _ It's time this rotten luck started working for me, _ Rikku thought as she launched herself forward and activated the grid.

She wasn't disappointed; a jolt shot through her fingers, a sharp stab of pain that would have made her scream if she could move her jaws.   _ It worked, it worked! _  She opened her watering eyes as she fell through the wall of light and watched the ground rise up to meet her –

– and pulled up short, her mouth twisted open in a cry of surprise as her body was suspended mid-step.  Even her hair had stopped falling around her face; she was tilted at an angle that by all rights should have had her face-planting into the ground.  But she wasn't falling; she was frozen.  She couldn't even move her eyeballs to look to either side.  And, Rikku realized, she didn't need to, because the body of a small, ancient child appeared before her.

_ "Bahamut!" _ she yelled.  Or at least, she tried to.  All she managed to do was stare at a point a few centimeteres below Bahamut's hooded face, since she couldn't even roll her eyes upwards to look him in the – hood, most likely.  No one even knew if his human form  _ had _ eyes.

_ I told you not to come here. _  She wondered how he managed to sound scolding despite the monotone of his voice.

She felt the muscles on her face relax, and fixed her glare on Bahamut's face.  "What about Spira?  You know, it's not like I could be changing the fate of  _ the rest of the world _ or anything, huh!"

_ You really believe yourself so important? _ he answered her.

Rikku felt her anger boiling over, even as his words hit her pride with a stinging slap.  "So what if I'm not Yuna?" she snapped.  "That doesn't mean you can play around with my life!  What kind of sick joke is this?  Why are you doing this to me?"

Bahamut paused before answering her; he sounded almost amused, if that was possible.   _ Still thinking of only yourself, even now?  Perhaps your hubris makes you who you are. _

_ At least I'm alive, _ she wanted to spit back.  But she couldn't.  She couldn't even look him in the non-eyes.  Rikku wondered if there was a special hell for Al Bhed heretics who talked back to god-like aeons.   _ If there wasn't, Bahamut would probably make one just for me.  Maybe I'm there right now. _

_ Go back and join them, _ he said.   _ You must see this through to the end.  This journey was your own wish; don't run away.  Be strong enough to live your dream. _

Her anger was subsiding, replaced by a sense of shame.  He was right, she realized – everything that had happened was only what she'd wanted; to feel important, to have Auron look at her with something more than irritation.  In her attempt to run away from her own life and live in her regrets for the past, she'd forgotten to embrace the future.  She hasn't realized what a stupid wish it was, and now Bahamut wasn't going to let her have a take-back.  With a sinking sensation, she put up a last feeble protest.  "But I can't.  I can't face them like this!"

_ You don't have a choice anymore. _  He was growing brighter as he said that; it hurt to see, and Rikku cringed, ducking away from the light and shielding her eyes.  In that moment she realized she could control her body again and whipped her head forward.

"Wait – !"

The two Guado sentries standing before her spun around, lances at the ready, and eyed her suspiciously.  One leaned over and mumbled something to the other in the native Guado tongue, and Rikku didn't need to be trilingual to know that he hadn't said anything complimentary.  With a laugh, the two guards turned around and ignored her.

Straightening out of her crouch, Rikku realized that was probably a good thing.  She couldn't spare the time to be embarrassed at her sudden appearance at the entrance to the path leading to the Farplane; more pressing was the question of  _ how _ she'd gotten there.  She hadn't even felt anything; one minute she was shooting the mental breeze with Bahamut in the Farplane, and the next she was being laughed at by the guards in Guadosalam.

Turning around, Rikku looked at the path to the portal – now calm and no longer murky – and let out a slow, irritated huff.  "Well... that was an aeon-sized door slam if I ever saw one," she muttered, adjusting her braids.  Lifting her chin and doing her best to ignore the smirking Guado, Rikku marched past the guards and towards the city.  There really was only one place to go – back towards the inn.

"No use crying over spilled milk," she told herself.  "Besides, he's waiting for me, right?"

She almost thought she could hear Bahamut laughing and tried to ignore it as she stomped down the pathway.   _ Me and my stupid dreams.  Why couldn't I just let go? _

Suddenly, seeing Auron didn't seem as exciting of a prospect as it had before; in fact, the entire city of Guadosalam was losing its fascination.  The sleepy twilight of the underground cavern made her restless; the walls were too close, the lichen lights too wane, the air too rank.  More than ever, she felt a need to see sunlight, to have fresh wind blowing in her hair and burning sand stretching before her.  Rikku was tired of the burden of the Pilgrimage.  Her Al Bhed blood was calling to her, demanding freedom, and the urge to run away was overwhelming.

Pivoting on her feet, Rikku strode down another path that she hoped would lead to a release from the tightness that gripped her chest.

**.x.x.x.**

Dappled sunlight shone through the dense canopy.  Auron was the first to emerge from the roots of the giant tree that housed the entrance to Guadosalam, his expression solemn and his head lowered.  Even so, the contrast of the bright sunlight after so much time traveling in darkness was painful, and he raised an arm before his face.  When he lowered his hand, blinking, he saw her and slowed to a stop.

Rikku kicked her boots against the root she was sitting on.  "Finally leaving?"

Auron squinted up at her with an inscrutable look on his face; somewhere, Rikku hoped that unfamiliar expression was hosting more than just surprise.  Maybe... he was even a little relieved?  No, Rikku decided, quashing her fledgling hopes.  To assume anything Auron didn't give away was just inviting trouble, she knew all too well.  Still, he wasn't scolding her, so Rikku took that as a good sign.

When he started moving again, it was towards her.  He stopped at the base of the high root she was dangling off of, and a few of the tense lines around his mouth and eyes eased as he nodded at her.

A warm feeling flooded Rikku, and she found herself grinning back at him.  "So, umm, hi," she said softly.

"So here you are," Auron replied, as if to confirm that she wouldn't turn around and high-tail it into the forest at the sound of his voice.

Rikku smirked.  "Like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe," she answered.

Ignoring her, he stepped closer with an intense look.  Rikku swallowed; it was almost easier to face Auron when he was annoyed, as he usually was when dealing with her.  This, though... this wasn't his  _ angry _ face.  His eyes, she noted, were still piercing, even when charged with an emotion other than rage or frustration.  He lifted his hand halfway towards her, and then seemed to check himself.

"Lord Braska – " he began with a slight frown.  The hesitation passed almost as quickly as it came, leaving Rikku to wonder if she imagined the whole thing.  And then, he smiled at her.  Auron  _ smiled. _  At  _ her. _

Rikku nearly fell off of the tree root.

"... Lord Braska is helping Jecht," Auron continued, ignoring Rikku's scrabbling attempts to recover and lower herself to the ground.  "He'll be here soon, so perhaps you'd care to... prepare yourself."  The last line was delivered with a definite tone of amusement, as he relented and assisted Rikku in her ungraceful slide towards the forest floor.

"I totally meant to do that," she said as she failed to lower her skirt, which had ridden high.  It was hard to maneuver when Auron was still holding her securely in his arms.

"Al Bhed fashion," Auron muttered with a derisive snort, though she didn't miss the glint in his eyes.  "Function before form, was it?"

Rikku huffed.  "Bevellian silk would've ripped, I'll have you know."

"More's the pity," Auron mumbled, leaving Rikku to gape.

As if on cue, there was a loud grunt, and Rikku peeked around Auron and saw them – Braska slowly trudging out of the cave, and Jecht, leaning on him.  The summoner’s slight frame was bent under the other man’s weight.  Stopping when he saw them, Braska lost his precarious balance and nearly fell over.

"Rikkma?  We thought you had left us last night.”  His jaw shut with an audible click.  “I-I can see you are somewhat…  _ engaged… _ with Auron right now, but if you could spare a moment – ugh!"  He cut off abruptly, trying to keep Jecht from tipping over.

Face burning crimson, Rikku struggled out of Auron’s arms and righted her clothing before scurrying to Braska's side.  "Why aren't you helping?" she called out to Auron.  "Aren't you like, I don't know, Mister Perfect Guardian all the time?  Don't you think this counts as one of your duties?"

Auron shrugged, the humor in his eyes fading into a less alien expression of annoyance.  "Having to bear Jecht's weight is hardly a life-threatening activity."

Jecht chose that moment to burp wetly and covered his mouth, and Braska winced.  Rikku's steps slowed down; listening to the rest of Auron's argument seemed like a  _ really _ good idea.  Her boots were white, after all; and, if she could help it, they'd stay that way.  "Oh, uh, so, you got that covered all by yourself then, Braska?"

"Not really," Braska grunted, hefting Jecht upright.

"Don't help him," Auron snapped, freezing Rikku in surprise as she reached out to lend a hand.  Braska met Auron's gaze and the two began a staring contest that was punctuated by Jecht's snores.

"Wait, so do you actually want me to help out or not?" she blurted in exasperation as tension crackled between the two men.

Auron sighed and broke off the staring contest to address her.  "I suppose you could say Braska and I are trying to teach each other a lesson."  He stopped and watched the two men fumbling towards him.

Rikku let out a loud sigh.  "Guys, this is stupid."  Then, cautiously – because she really  _ was _ serious about keeping her boots white – she leveled a sharp kick at Jecht.

"OWW!" the huge man roared, shoving off of Braska and flailing.  He spun into a patch of bright sunlight and collapsed in a messy pile of limbs onto the ground.  After a few moments of groaning, Jecht raised a meaty palm over his face to block the glare.  "Whoa, tell somebody to turn off the lights," he mumbled before dropping his arm over his eyes.

Rikku winced.  "Uhh... that didn't work out like I planned."  She kneeled by Jecht's side to help him up and regretted it when she caught a whiff of his breath.   _ Braska inhaled that at close range?  His respect points just went up about 300 percent!   _ Pinching her nose shut with two fingers, Rikku tried to breathe through her mouth. 

"Ewww!  Gross!  Have you been marinating yourself in alcohol?"  She scrambled to her feet.   Jecht was hardly in a state to answer her, mumbling something incoherent under his breath; it really wasn’t worth making an effort to understand what he was saying.  She was too glad that his head was pointing  _ towards the ground _ while he was saying it.  Instead, she looked to Braska for an explanation.  "Why do you put up with this?"

Braska studied her with an odd expression.  "You sound like Auron."  It shifted into a heartfelt, if somewhat reserved smile.  "We all struggle with our demons," he told her as he knelt beside her and reached for Jecht.

_ How does he do that? _ Rikku wondered as she sucked in her breath and dutifully shouldered some of Jecht's weight.  With just a few simple words, Braska made her feel guilty for  _ not  _ putting up with Jecht's 80-proof cabbage-wilting breath.  As they grappled with the drunk man, she noticed that Auron was still watching them with disinterest, rather than joining the cause.  "Why aren't you helping  _ now _ ?" she asked.

"It's not Auron's duty to help," Braska replied, his expression closing.

Auron stiffened and shook his head.  "The best way to help Jecht is to keep moving.  He'll walk it out of his system."  He turned around and strolled away from them.

_ The nerve of that guy – ! _

Rikku raised a hand.  At least, she tried to; Jecht stumbled, and both she and Braska grunted as they caught him.  "You need to go on a diet," she complained.  "Hey, Auron!  Little problem with your plan there.  How can he walk it out of his system if he can't, you know, walk?"

"Where there's a will, Yevon will provide a way," Auron answered smugly.

"Yevon?" Rikku scowled.  "I don't look like Yevon.  Hey Braska, do you look like Yevon?"  Without waiting for an answer she continued talking, pitching her voice louder.  He was making communication difficult by quickening his pace to stay ahead.  Not that it was very hard when they were wrestling with a near-comatose Jecht.  Maechon could probably outpace them at the rate they were going.

"Wait!  Come back!  Our girly-muscles can't carry Jecht!  This should be your job!" she railed.

"Girly?" Braska mumbled under his breath.  "You think I look like a woman, Rikkma?"

Rikku weighed the benefits of screaming out her frustration before deciding it would only cause her to inhale too much of Jecht's tainted air.  "Don't jump to conclusions just because you wear your hair longer than mine!"

"You do," Braska concluded in dismay, and Rikku sagged under his disgruntlement.  Literally, as the brunt of Jecht's bulk leaned into her side.  Jecht’s groggy head lolled onto her shoulder, and Rikku received a full frontal blast when he belched directly into her face.

_ Oh, forget it.  I didn't really need a supply of fresh air anyway. _  "Hey hey hey!" she yelled to Braska as she shoved Jecht back over, her voice shrill.  "Focus on Jecht right now!"

"Try not to let him get his hands on anything else to drink while I scout ahead," Auron added, scanning the forest before them.  "I can keep the fiends from doing any damage, but I can't stop Jecht from creating his own problems."

"Great, who's the babysitter now?"  Rikku scowled.

"I ain't no baby..." Jecht mumbled, drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Jecht is hardly a child," Braska concurred, and Rikku hid her expression.   _ Why does he always have to be so responsible? _  Jecht smelled like the ass he currently was, and not even Braska's principles could carry him far enough away to ignore it.  She opened her mouth to say as much when suddenly Jecht's weight shifted and she found herself supporting far more of it than before.  Grunting, she looked up from the sudden onslaught, only to find Braska standing in front of her and rolling his shoulders.

"He only resorts to drinking as a method of escape," Braska told her in the same effable tone.  Rikku didn't like the look of his placid smile.  Well, theoretically, it wasn't any different than his normal smile, but the fact that he wasn't holding Jecht up anymore was setting off all sorts of alarms.  "What he really needs is someone to cheer him up.  Someone with a bright and lively personality."

Rikku blinked.   _ He can't be serious. _  "You can't be – "

"... speaking of you?  Why, yes, Rikkma.  That is precisely what I was thinking as well.  So, please – do your best!"  Braska walked away from them as quickly as his robes would allow.

"Hey!  HEY!  Where do you think you're going?" she called out after him.

"It would be irresponsible to let Auron scout alone." 

Dimly, she noted that for wearing a multitude of floor-sweeping robes, Braska could move pretty fast when he wanted to.  Jecht chose that moment to let out another burp, and Rikku panicked.

"HEY!  Wait just a minute!  I'm Auron's fiend-kicking partner, not you!   _ HEY! _  Don't leave me here with him!"

Braska and Auron were out of sight by the time Rikku managed to close her working jaw.  "Oh well... I guess this is my punishment for letting them think I was leaving," she sighed.  "Come on, stinky.  It's just you and me for now."

**.x.x.x.**

"We're getting nowhere fast," Rikku mumbled, wiping some sweat from her brow.  She leaned back and took a long drink of water from her flask, eyeing the slumbering man from the corner of her eye.  Auron and Braska had been true to their word so far; not a single fiend had yet dared disturb them on the forest path.  Still, even with the lack of fighting, traveling was anything but easy.  Jecht was heavy and more than once, Rikku wondered if she should don a dressphere to ease the journey.

She toyed with her belt and looked down the path.   _ What if Auron comes back? _

Jecht let out another loud snore, and Rikku groaned.  "If we don't catch up with him soon, he  _ will _ have to come back."  She looked at her sphere grid.  "Please, please, please don't hurt, okay?"  Then she fingered the dressphere one last time before activating it.

As the familiar light washed over her, she felt her thoughts darkening.   _ This was a terrible idea.  _  She spun, her hand reaching out and grasping the sword that materialized in her palm.  Then, with a heavy sigh, she planted it into the ground before her, eying Jecht with muted disgust while shaking the cherry blossom petals out of her hair.  "Wake up."

Jecht let out a snore and turned on his side.  " 'S too early, Auron.  Go 'way."

One eyebrow ticked in annoyance.  "Jecht.  Do I sound like a man to you?"

Jecht grumbled, pushing his face into the mossy earth. "Sounds 'nuf like Auron t'me."

Rikku’s shortened temper snapped.  "Clean Slate!" she shouted, flinging a hand towards Jecht.  She followed the defiant gesture immediately with another, flinging the remaining contents of her water flask into Jecht's face.  "Now stand up and start acting like a man instead of a diseased primate, you moron!"

Jecht managed to collect his scattered senses in record time, the alcoholic stupor burning out of his body from her spell.  He spat and threw his now-soaked bangs out of his face, glaring at her.  "The hell did you do that for, Blondi _ eeh? _ "  He trailed off, eyes widening as he looked her over from head to foot.  Then he rubbed his eyes and looked again.  "Uh, did I get thrown into the future with Auron and Rikkma's kid or somethin'?"

"No, you didn't."  Rikku folded her arms and settled on a harsh glare.  "If you have something to say, think very,  _ very _ carefully about it first.  Or better yet, keep your mouth shut anyway."  She tapped the hilt of her sword for emphasis.

Jecht considered her words for a moment and then shrugged, clambering to his feet and avoiding the reach of her weapon.  "Whatever.  S'not my business who you stalk."

Rikku's mouth tightened into a thin line.  Why in Spira had she ever thought Jecht was amusing?  Well, he was  _ funny, _ but not in the  _ ha-ha _ way.  More like  _ funny _ in the  _ off with your head, weirdo _ way.  She eyed her sword, fingers twitching.

"So why'd you wake me up?  Where the hell are we?  And where's Braska?"  Jecht squinted, taking in the unfamiliar forest surrounding them with a surprising measure of aplomb.  Rikku opened her mouth to reply, but Jecht waved, cutting her off.  "Naw, don't tell me.  I bet he's with Auron doin' that  _ Guardian duty _ thing, right?  You wouldn't be in that getup if the Stiff was around."

Rikku sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.  "I woke you because we need to catch up with them."   _ You idiot, _ she appended.  "Being unconscious tends to be a detriment to efficient traveling."  She fidgeted, restless.  "Besides, we need to find Lord Braska.  He's in the middle of an argument with Auron right now – no thanks to you, by the way – and I'd prefer if we were there to protect him in case something happens."

Jecht only shook his head, staring at her.  "Damn, ya even cloned the stick up his ass!  Don't use that costume too often, alright?  It's bad enough with just one of him."

Rikku closed her eyes and began to count down from ten.

"But at least you make the coat look hot.  Nice wraps!  I mean the ones up there," Jecht added, motioning at her chest.  "Those things on yer feet just look kinda retarded.  Not that anyone’s lookin’ down, eh?"

Rikku gave up counting and grabbed her sword.  Patience was overrated anyway.  So was Blitzball, when push came to shove.  "Zantetsu!" she yelled.

Jecht picked at his ear and then inspected his finger.  "Never heard Auron say that before," he noted.  "Nice and dramatic, though.  Right up his alley.  Uh, how long are you gonna point that thing at me?"

Somewhere overhead, a fiend cawed.

"Shoot," Rikku muttered, lowering her sword in defeat.  "Fine.  Let's move," she grunted, shoving her way past Jecht and stomping down the path, eyes fixed on the ground.

"Well, I would, but – "

Rikku spun around, the last bits of her temper fraying.  "You're impossible!"

Jecht jogged to catch up with her, pulling his own sword off of his back.  "Yeah, but – "

"Oh, so you want to fight me now?  Please!  You wouldn't stand a chance against this costume!  You wouldn't stand a chance even  _ without _ this costume!"

" ‘ey!  Take it easy, Blondie!  I was just tryin' to tell ya that – "

Frustrated, she whipped her own sword around and pointed it at Jecht.  "Will you just for once in your life do something intelligent and  _ shut up? _ "

Something roared in agreement behind her, and Rikku blanched.

"... yeah, see, there's this big green thing with just about a million tentacles and a skirt standin' in the middle of the road, is all," Jecht finished, dropping into a battle crouch.

"Sweet Yevon, why me?" Rikku groaned to herself as she turned around to face the Ochu.

"Say, is that thing  _ dancing? _ "  Jecht tilted his head as the beast undulated back and forth.  "... actually, it ain't half bad."  He even began to sway in time with the Ochu, mimicking its motions.  "That plant's got some sweet moves!  Say, I know a few clubs in Zanarkand that could really use talent like that..."

This seemed to appease the Ochu, which stopped dancing and preened itself with its tentacles.  For some reason, the sight was just too surreal.  Here she was, a  _ Guardian, _ trying her best to save Jecht,  _ another Guardian, _ from Yevon-knew-what in the forest so they could get back to their job, which was to  _ protect Braska.  _  And what was her hapless companion doing?  He was  _ flirting with a plant! _

"Stop dancing and kill it!" Rikku roared, hefting her sword over her head.  She hadn't yet decided which of the two she was going to rush, but her outburst upset whatever atmosphere Jecht had been cultivating with the Ochu through his moonwalk.  The Ochu let out another loud-mouthed roar and belched a cloud of yellow pollen from its impressive mouth.

Rikku would have seen red, were it not for the pollen descending over her.  Instead, all she saw was stars.  It felt like she was wading through molasses, and in the misty haze that refused to clear, she couldn't tell where the Ochu – or Jecht for that matter – was.  Something slapped Rikku on her butt, and she whirled around and slammed her sword down on it.

_ I hope that was Jecht, _ she thought as she heard an answering roar of pain.  Then, ignoring the two blurry figures moving around her – it looked like they were both dancing again – Rikku concentrated on focusing her willpower on herself.  "Clean Slate," she mumbled, waving a hand in front of her own face.  The yellow fog lifted, and Rikku’s senses cleared.  She blinked, and watched Jecht rush past her. Then she blinked again as she was bathed in yellow once more – this time in sap, rather than pollen.  A few tentacles flopped to the ground next to her, and Rikku looked up in time to see Jecht hacking away at the Ochu with his sword.  His style lacked any sort of finesse whatsoever, but he made up for it with determination and speed.  She noted with some disappointment that Jecht still seemed to have both of his hands before hefting her sword and rushing in to help him.

A few short but messy chops later, the former Ochu lay in pieces on the floor, and Rikku was kneeling by her sword, panting.  Jecht was flat on his back, nearly plastered to the ground by the yellow goop that the Ochu had spewed all over them.

_ Paine always  _ **_was_ ** _ better at this dressphere than me, _ Rikku thought as she surveyed the damage they had caused.  Sighing, she deactivated the grid; mixing the remnants of Auron and a real, live Jecht was destined to have disasterrific results.  Some of her annoyance faded alongside the Samurai costume, as well as the pressing need to jump up and set off at a run down the path until they found Braska.

"This is so gross," Rikku commented as she shucked an armful of goop off of her head.  "Why can't Ochu guts just pyrefly away like normal fiends do?"  The answer was simple; wild Ochus weren't really fiends, they were just native and unusually sentient plants.  Life really was unfair sometimes.

Frowning and parting her bangs, Rikku looked around to find Jecht.  He hadn't moved from his spot on the ground, still staring into the forest's canopy with wide eyes.  "Jecht?  Hey, are you okay?"

"I took it down," he muttered.  Then he sat up, his eyes gleaming and his fists clenched.  "I took it down!  By myself!  Without Auron!  Well, okay, with you dressed as him, but that don't count!  Did ya see that?"  With a whoop, Jecht somersaulted off of the ground and began dancing around the Ochu's remains, even going so far as to pick up a severed tentacle and swing it around his head like a lasso.  "Yeah, baby!   _ I'm the best! _ "

Rikku shook her head, trying to stifle a giggle.  He looked ridiculous, covered with Ochu juice and dancing around like a madman, the Ochu's tentacle wrapped around his head like a macabre bandana.  It was a little bit weird, a little bit cute, and a little bit stupid... kinda like Tidus when she thought about it.  Her sniggers died out, and Rikku watched Jecht performing his victory dance with a wistful smile.   _ I really wish Tidus could've known his dad like this. _  Then she shook her head.   _ Well, I'll just have to tell him when I get back, then! _

"Jecht!" she yelled, causing him to stop mid-spin and slip on a patch of slime, which he landed on with a wet splat.  "Ooh, that looked like it hurt."

"It's just the sweet pain of victory," Jecht answered, still happy.

"Well, get over your sweet pain, buster," Rikku replied.  "We've still gotta catch up with Braska and Auron.  Last one there's a Yevonite!"

"Hah!  You'll be eatin' those words, Blondie!" Jecht yelled, springing to his feet.  He stopped as Rikku whirled, nearly knocking her over.

"Oh, and Jecht?  Could you... umm... y'know,  _ not _ tell Auron about that... little... uh... thing..."

Smirking, Jecht picked up the end of his Ochu tentacle and smacked her forehead with it.  "Are ya kiddin'?  That stuff is quality blackmail material.  I'm gonna save it for somethin’ important!"  His mischievous grin was infectious, and Rikku found herself smiling back with real gratitude despite the threat.

"Thanks, Jecht.  You're a good guy, under all that... stuff," she added, wrinkling her nose.  "Oh, and see you!"  With a cheeky wave, Rikku spun around and took off down the path at a run, laughing.

"Cheater!" Jecht yelled after her.  He didn't follow, however, as she disappeared around a bend in the road.  Instead, he looked back at the mangled remains of the Ochu.  "By myself, huh," he repeated with a note of pride, fingering his sword.  "Maybe I can do this after all." 

Then he picked up the dripping end of the tentacle, still wrapped around his forehead, and inhaled.  A deep grin crossed his face, for he'd figured out something that not even Rikkma knew. 

Ochu juice was fermented.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16: now with more jokes to combat all that angst
> 
> Abilities used:
> 
> Clean Slate [Samurai] = "Restore HP and cure user of status ailments."  
> Zantetsu [Samurai] = "Instantly defeat one enemy. Sometimes fails."


	25. The Shoopuf Incident

Rikku jogged to a stop, leaning over and panting when the riverbank came into sight.  "I'm getting out of shape," she huffed, looking around.  There wasn’t any real need to push herself, but Jecht was pretty fast and she _did_ have her pride.  Forehead itching, Rikku mopped the sweat from her brow.  She pulled her fingers away and inspected the telltale traces of yellow on her palm, wincing.  The not-so-flawless defeat of the Ochu was combining with the humidity and heat, forming a sweaty paste of sap that made her skin her skin itch in unpleasant ways.

Falling to her knees, she dipped her hands into the cool, refreshing water and rinsed off her sticky arms and face.  When she felt somewhat human again, she patted her cheeks and sat back with a contented sigh.

The sun was perched at its zenith in the sky, and only a few pyreflies danced over the calm waters of the Moonflow.  Even so, the sight was still magical.  Moonlilies swayed in the breeze as pyreflies threaded their way between the plants, making it seem as though the river itself was alive, gently exhaling light and color with each breath.  It was even more spectacular at nightfall, when the pyreflies would gather among the lilies en masse and light up the river like a ribbon of moonlight, fallen from the sky.  She suspected Auron wouldn't let them linger for twilight; still, for the moment, Rikku allowed herself to drink in the sight.

Ever since Yuna had defeated Sin, more people were exploring the world.  Fiends were still a traveling hazard, but with the Machine Faction's machina patrols and the ever-vigilant efforts of New Yevon and the Youth League, the roads had become much more densely packed.  In a way, it was the same problem that affected all of Spira after Sin’s defeat: every natural resort – every last bastion of idyllic beauty – was being settled and commercialized.  It already happened in Guadosalam and also Zanarkand; even the Moonflow of the future was suffering under the effects of the population's rapid expansion.  

Reaching out, Rikku plucked one of the plentiful moonlilies from the water and held the blossom in her hand.  A pyrefly drifted around the plant, shifting and blending into the iridescent color of the flower’s reflective petals.

Mixed feelings about the development mingled in her breast.  On the one hand, seeing people civilize areas formerly too dangerous to settle made her Al Bhed senses tingle with pride.  Much of the expansion wouldn't have been able to happen at all, if not for the willingness of her people to help and share their machina with the rest of the world.  Rikku had been right there beside them, using her skills to teach others how to use technology.

On the other hand, Yuna's stricken expression as she had seen what Cid had made of her beloved Zanarkand was burned into Rikku's memory, just as were the melting forests of Macalania.  She took a deep breath and stared out over the river once more, trying to absorb its beauty.  It was saddening, to think of how the sight would almost completely disappear in just a few short years.  In her time the flowers had nearly died out, trampled underfoot by the constant traffic of machina transportation devices.  She carefully placed the moonlily back into the water and watched it drift away.

Rikku flopped backwards onto the sandy bank, staring into the bright afternoon sky.  Her mind drifted towards her past and Spira's future.  This was the same spot she'd washed up on after Tidus and Wakka had thwarted her attempt to kidnap Yuna.  She had to admit, lazing away the afternoon on the bank of the Moonflow was a lot more enjoyable when her face wasn't planted into the sand.

_You're not dead?_

A smile crossed over Rikku's face and her eyes closed, imagining Tidus was right there, leaning over her with that goofy grin on his face.

_Rikku!  You're Rikku!  Hey, you're okay!_

It almost felt like someone else's memories to her now.  Rikku drew an arm over her face.   _I'm not crying,_ she told herself.  Still, the memory of Tidus' infectious smile was nearly as bright as the midday sunlight.  It was one of her most precious memories; her fateful meeting with not only Tidus, but also Yuna and the rest of her Guardians.  She remembered how clueless Wakka had been despite Tidus' near-slip; the disapproving press of Lulu's dark lips as she scolded Rikku for putting Yuna in danger; how amused Auron had sounded when he'd instructed her to actually open her eyes when looking at him –

With a start Rikku sat up, eyes wide.   _Amused?_  She frowned, replaying the memory over again in her head.  His back had been turned as Yuna approached; Rikku hadn't even noticed him then, too caught up in her awe of Lulu's professional poise and beauty.  

She'd only realized that she was standing beside the Legendary Guardian himself when he turned to face them.  And when she had seen his shielded, grim face masked by those dark sunglasses, the first thing she'd felt was an overwhelming jolt of fear.  He had stepped in front of her, and Rikku thought he might have heard her knees knocking together.  When he demanded that she look at him, she'd nearly wet her shorts; then, he'd forced her to open her eyes – well, one, at least – and she had been certain the game was up.  

She wasn't the only one to be left flabbergasted by Auron's easy acceptance afterwards; Tidus had even complained that she hadn't had to face a trial by Kimahri's lance.  Rikku had responded by pointing out all the bruises Tidus and Wakka had given her while destroying her submarine.

It wasn't until later, when she was smarting from both Macalania's stinging cold and Wakka's harsh rejection of their friendship that Rikku had begun to see the gruff man as _Auron_ rather than _the Legendary Guardian_ .  It had happened somehow between the moments that her face was buried into Auron's coat, trying to keep her tears from freezing to her cheeks and his easy dismissal of the suspicious temple guard.  That was, she had thought, the first time he had been kind to her.  But as she reviewed her memories, the seed of doubt was planted.  How much of it was colored by the capricious whims of a fifteen-year-old lovesick girl?  She'd even had a crush on _Tidus,_ of all people, back at the beginning – at least before the blond had opened his mouth and ruined it for her.  Now, though, she wondered.

She thought back on the initial reaction she'd received from Yuna's Guardians when they first met.  With Yuna's reassurance, Lulu had accepted her after their private discussion.  Wakka was too thick to understand and too good-hearted to question her sudden desire to join the group.  Tidus was already in her corner and she'd known Kimahri would remain silent, as Ronso tradition demanded.  That had left only Auron to convince.  He was anything but stupid; his single vigilant eye seemed to catch _everything_ .  Why had he, the most paranoid of all Yuna's Guardians, allowed her to join the Pilgrimage?  He must have known she was the one piloting the submarine that kidnapped Yuna, and yet he acted as though she wasn't a threat.  Facing away from the others, he had barely even noticed she was there.  Or maybe, Rikku thought, his back had been turned because he didn't _want_ to see her.

 _"Show me your face."_  She'd thought he was angry; with the filter of memory and experience, though, she understood that his gruff voice had actually been gentle.  Had he been trying to reassure her because of her obvious fear?   _"Look at me."_  No, he'd been stern then, annoyed with her evasiveness.  And then…

_"Open your eyes."_

Rikku covered her mouth, and felt a shocked smile stretching over her face.  He'd been _laughing_ at her.  A silent, grumpy unsent Guardian laugh, but a laugh all the same.

_"Are you certain?"_

Rikku's grin faded.  She'd heard that in the Farplane, too.  Auron's voice, asking her if she was sure of her wish.  Maybe, Rikku thought with a shiver, he hadn't been asking for her sake.  Maybe he'd known what was to come.  Hadn't Bahamut told her that she _wasn't_ important?

 _Does that mean my friends... Auron... they're going to die no matter what I do?  What will happen to me?  Will I die here with them, too?_  Rikku drew her knees into her chest and buried her face in her arms, the afternoon sun no longer warming her shoulders.  The song of the pyreflies grew louder in her ears, her heart thundering in her chest.  She couldn't be sure if her sudden panic was for her friends or for herself.  So worried about the course of history and the flow of time, Rikku had never once considered _she_ might be a part of it – but every story had to end, didn't it?  This cold, paralyzing feeling flooding her body – _this_ was real fear, not the knee-knocking bumbling of her fifteen-year-old self.

She thought of Tidus, boldly leaping off the edge of the airship.  How did he do it?  How could he keep smiling and acting normal even when he knew what was coming?  How did Yuna do it during her Pilgrimage?  Or even Braska?

What was Bahamut was trying to accomplish?  The Fayth never did anything without a reason.  Was it to change the world?  Bahamut had all but said she couldn't affect the future.  But, Rikku realized, even if _the world_ hadn't changed, _she_ had.  The past was the past.  And if the future, too, was set in stone, then maybe – just maybe – that was the reason she was here.  To learn how to live in the present.

 _"Are you certain?"_ Auron had asked her.  Rikku took a deep breath and lifted her head, holding onto her idea and using it to beat down her rising fear.  If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she wouldn't go down without a fight. This was _her_ life, and it was _her_ story.  It didn't matter where or how it ended; she'd make sure the journey was worth it.

"One hundred percent," she breathed, letting her memories fade.

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku found Braska and Auron loitering at the edge of the way station away from their fellow travelers, conversing.  From the looks on their faces, it seemed their disagreement still hadn't been resolved.  She wiped her hands off on her skirt and approached them with a cheery smile.

"Hey guys!  What's up?"

"Where's Jecht?" Auron asked, not sounding surprised to see her alone.  "Wandering off to find his next watering hole?"  He crossed his arms.

"I wish you would have a little more faith in Jecht," Braska interrupted, frowning.  "I am sure he was delayed for a good reason."  He looked at her with a hint of hope.

Rikku clasped her hands behind her back and swayed on the balls of her feet.  She'd been looking forward to meeting up with the others again, but now felt as though she were a tiny bug under a giant magnifying glass, and both men were pulling her legs in opposite directions.  "Uhh, see, about that..."

"Don't worry.  I would’ve left him behind, too," Auron supplied.

"Are you sure he will be fine on his own?" Braska asked, a crease forming between his eyebrows.  "Perhaps we should backtrack and try to find him."

Though they were addressing her, it seemed more like Braska and Auron were continuing to fire verbal volleys at one another.  "Actually," she began.

Auron cut her off and glared at Braska.  "I'm not wasting my time by looking for him, and neither is Rikkma."

Braska's frown deepened.   "Unless I am mistaken, Rikkma chose not to leave us in Guadosalam.   _All_ of us, _including_ Jecht.  She would never abandon a companion so heartlessly."

Grimacing, Rikku gestured at the men's argument, muttering under her breath.  A moment later, a large splash of water rained down over both Auron and Braska.  A few of the other passengers glanced their way and murmured, and even more of them got up and left for the central station.  Auron stood stock-still, while Braska delicately plucked the now-drooping tassel attached to his circlet off of his face.  Rikku swallowed and reconsidered her bright idea when both men turned to face her.  For a moment the only sound punctuating their incredulous stares was the slow drip of water from their soaked clothing.  "Ah, ha hah..."  Rikku rubbed the back of her head.  "So you see, there was this Ochu, and..."

" 'EY!" a loud voice yelled, and Rikku spun around, half-expecting to see a jubilant blond burst out of the forest.  It wasn't Tidus who appeared by the riverbank this time, though, but Jecht.  He was jogging towards them, his progress slowed by a thick bundle of rope that was coiled around one shoulder.  "Braska!  Auron!  You guys ain't gonna believe this!"

Rikku's eyes almost popped out of her head as she began waving her hands at Jecht to catch his attention.   _You promised not to tell!_ she mouthed, dancing in place as he neared them.  Her hope of being subtle plummeted as he ignored her with a familiar glazed look in his eyes.   _I thought I cured him already!  Where'd he find more to drink?_

"Rikkma?  There are bathrooms available at the central crossing station if you need them," Braska interrupted, and Rikku caught herself mid-hop and dropped her arms, squeaking in surprise.  Looking uncomfortable, Braska cleared his throat.  "Of course, if it's really _that_ urgent, we could escort you to the side of the road – "

"I'm fine," Rikku chirped out, her face burning red.  She watched Auron looking away from the corner of his eye, his expression unusually solemn.  With a jolt, she realized he was trying not to laugh at her.   _Again._  "Really," she mumbled, feeling her mortification _quadruplify._  Blackmail or not, Jecht was going to _pay._

The man in question was already boasting, tapping his chest with a thumb as he weaved before them.  "So Blondie ran into this big plant thing an' pissed it off, but then I saved her all by myself."

“Saved?”  Rikku clenched her teeth.  "Wait a second!  I'm not the one who was _dancing_ with it!"

Jecht barreled on, gesticulating with his arms to illustrate his story.  "Yeah!  It _was_ pretty good, but I was better!"  His face darkened and he whirled on Rikku, losing his balance in the process.   When he straightened, he pushed an accusatory finger into her face.  "The party was just gettin' started, but then you had to go all gung-ho on it with yer swo – "  He stopped when Rikku shot him a murderous look that managed to briefly pierce through his inebriated fog.  "S-sw-swearin'," he finished clumsily.

Rikku let out a silent sigh of relief.  Then Jecht ran with it.

"Yeah, swearin', that's it!  Worse than me, too!  I mean, _shit!_ "  The few remaining passengers began to glance in their direction again.  "And not just any shit," he continued in what Rikku imagined was the loudest voice possible to achieve without a microphone.  " _Choco-_ shit!  No wait. _Choco-humpin' mog-snoggin'_ shit.  No, no wait!  Choco-humpin' mog-snoggin' shit and... and... _your momma!_ "  He gave Rikku a big thumbs-up.  "Nice one, Blondie!"

"You didn't really say that?" Braska asked her in a low tone, glancing around.

"No!" Rikku yelped.  Then she looked at Jecht.  "Well, okay, so maybe I _did_ say some nasty things, but, it wasn't that bad!"

"You do realize, it was just an Ochu..." Braska murmured.

Rikku gave up trying to shush Jecht and hung her head in defeat as the few travelers who had remained for the entire serenade of obscenities stared at them.  "Yeah, so anyway, one of you can just kill me right now and put me out of my misery."

Jecht hadn't noticed the attention he was garnering; he only seemed capable of focusing on things in his immediate line of sight.  Fortunately he moved on from Rikku and now had Auron on his radar.  

"Uh, say.  Why are ya wet?  Aww, man, did I miss out on a pickup Blitzin' game?"   Squinting, Jecht finally seemed to realize there was a river next to them.  "Whoa!  Lookit all that water!  ‘ey... it's leakin' those shiny things.  Whatchamacallits.  Y'know, dead people."  He waved a stray pyrefly away, nearly smacking his own face in the process.  "Trippy..."

Rikku slapped her forehead.  "Maybe I will take a bathroom break, after all."

"... so you two were delayed because Jecht was dancing with an Ochu?" Auron said, wringing water out of the sleeve of his coat.  "I rest my case."

"I beat it fair and square," Jecht piped up.  "And look!"  Bending over, he shrugged the mass of rope off of his shoulder into a pile at Rikku's feet.  "This time _I_ brought back the loot!"

Rikku leaned in to have a look at the "rope."  Then she jumped back with a disgusted yell.  "Eww! Grossness!  Those are Ochu tentacles!  I can't believe you brought them with you!"

Jecht looked crestfallen at her outburst.  "Huh?  Y'mean you can't use 'em?"

"I steal stuff on the _inside_ of fiends, I don't rip off their body parts!"  Rikku took another large step away from the pile.

"Aww, c'mon!  But I even dried 'em out an' everything," Jecht answered, his expression turning surly.

Braska, who had finished squeezing excess water from the bulk of his outer robes, nudged the pile with his staff.  "Now now.  I'm sure Jecht meant well, Rikkma.  And I think we all must admit that defeating an Ochu on one's own is an impressive feat."

"Yeah, ain't it?"  Jecht preened with a self-satisfied smirk.

"I wonder, though... what do you mean, you dried them out?"  Braska was kneeling now, his face troubled as he poked through the tentacles with his staff.  Jecht licked his lips.

"Humph," Auron said.  "I told you so.  Lord Braska?"

Braska let out a slight sigh and shook his head.  "There is no use debating over it now.  Let us move on, the shoopuf station is right around the bend.  Jecht, come with me.  I will walk you there."  With a look of resignation, Braska grabbed Jecht's arm and led him down the path towards the landing point.  "So... did you know that pyreflies gather to the Moonflow at twilight?  The entire river turns into a sea of light."

"A river full o' dead people.  I swear, this place is gonna turn me into a than... thana... thanatana... aww, hell with it.  Zombie hater!"  Jecht continued to spout his potation-inspired wisdom as Braska made several futile attempts to hush the large man.

Rikku watched them wander away, scratching her head.  "Huh?  What'd Braska mean, debating about what?"  She raked a few more fingers through her braids with an expression of disgust; the Ochu sap still trapped in her hair was clumping and it probably looked as bad as it smelled.  As far as she was concerned, a bath couldn't come soon enough.

"You really don't know?"  Auron stepped over the pile of abandoned tentacles and paused at her side.  He grasped her hand and pulled it from her hair, then held it before her face.

Rikku stared at the yellow goop running down her fingers in confusion.  Then she looked over her shoulder at Jecht, who chose that moment to burp before staggering into Braska.  "Wait, you mean..."  Returning her gaze to her fingers, her eyes widened.  "Oh, that is just _too gross,_ even for Jecht."

"Ochu sap is known to be a potent inebriant," Auron explained.  Then he sniffed and twisted his face into a mild grimace.  "Next time, cast the Water spell over yourself."

"Oh, umm..."  Rikku blushed; Auron was still holding her hand.  "Yeah, sorry about that.  But it really looked like you two were going to go at it right there, you know?"  She let out a brief sigh of disappointment when he released her hand, striding down the road.  "Hey!"  She jogged to catch up with him, slowing by his side.   Auron wasn't looking at her, so she frowned and tugged at the loose sleeve of his coat.  "Is everything alright?  'Cause, this tension is really uncool.  All these negative vibes are gonna bring us bad luck!"

"Then use Jecht's costume," Auron replied.

Rikku refused to give up with a stubborn pout.  "Come on!  What are you and Braska _really_ fighting about?"

Auron exhaled.  "Primarily about Jecht.  I'd hoped traveling together would teach him some responsibility, but with his dependence on spirits he's only getting worse.  Braska still sees hope for Jecht's future and wants to guide him.  I, on the other hand, am starting to believe he is nothing more than a liability."

Rikku frowned; she couldn't exactly express her own opinion when she found herself agreeing with Braska.  The whole point of talking was to try to get Auron to calm down, though, not to get him mad at _her,_ too.  Speaking of which…  "But it can't be just that," Rikku guessed.  "It's also about me, isn't it?"

Auron's expression tightened into a pained smile, and at that moment Bahamut's chastising words about her own audacity returned full force.   _Self-esteem?  Who needed that?_  "Or maybe not," she added, feeling her face heat.

Auron sensed her discomfort and cleared his throat.  "In a manner of speaking.  Perhaps not in the way you imagine.  It's more of a disagreement over our definitions of duty... and how you should fit into that definition."

 _So then he's still holding back?_  Rikku decided she'd cheer doubly hard for Braska... on the sly, of course.  "Ooh, you mean he hit a sore point."  She frowned.  "Well... even if you don't agree with him, maybe you could... I dunno... compromise?"    _And actually start dating me for real?_ She gave him a mental kick to the butt.

"It's not that simple – " Auron began.  He broke off as a loud yell rang through the air.

"Was that Jecht?" Rikku asked, before a myriad of screams and the sound of groaning metal rose above her voice.  The chaos was coming from the landing point, and seconds later, Rikku gaped as panicked travelers streamed out from around the bend, running in every direction.  "Hey!  Hey wait!  Is Sin attacking?" she yelled, catching the arm of a passer-by.

"No, it's some maniac with a sword!"   The man shook himself out of her grasp and scrambled away.

"Braska... Let's go!" Auron said to her.  He drew his sword in one fluid motion – causing yet another wave of screaming and panic – and began shoving people out of his way.

"Maniac with a sword?" she mumbled, ducking behind Auron and drawing her daggers.  "Holy moley, please don't tell me..."

The fleeing passengers thinned out, and Rikku slammed into Auron's back as he turned the corner and pulled up short.  "I'm going to kill him," she heard him say, and peeked out from behind his arm.  Then she choked.

"Jecht, you have to stop!"  Braska was trying to calm the other man down, with little success.  

Jecht, for his part, was brandishing his sword, crouched before a very surprised and angry shoopuf.  A very surprised, angry and _bleeding_ shoopuf.

"He hit the shoopuf?"  Shoopufs were supposed to be huge, gentle and friendly creatures.  The furious animal before them only seemed to be _ginormous_ to her, though.   It roared in pain and lashed out with its trunk, tearing away yet more metal from the already-damaged machina docking bay, forcing everyone to duck the flying shrapnel.  The gigantic pole it was lashed to strained dangerously under the weight of the panicked creature.  While the travelers had managed to escape unscathed, more than a few pieces of luggage had already been flattened under the shoopuf’s feet.  A lone Hypello was ducking and weaving between the debris, waving his arms over his head in agitation.

"Shtooop! Shtooop!" it cried, running towards Jecht.

"Get back!  I killed an Ochu single-handedly, ya know!" Jecht yelled, ducking into his battle crouch.

Braska was already whirling his staff around.  "Slowaga!" he chanted, sending the offensive spell flying at Jecht without hesitation.  The other man stood frozen for a moment as the magic hit him.  It was enough for the surprised Hypello to scramble out of the way of Jecht's sword.  

"Are yoo inshane!" he squawked at Jecht, falling over.

"Ain't you a fiend?"  Jecht fired back, hefting his sword again.  Before he could attack, Auron was already in motion, knocking the weapon out of Jecht's grip with his own sword, his face a mask of fury.

"Unbelievable!  Shut up and stop attacking things!" Auron roared, turning to face the rampaging shoopuf.  "Rikkma!  Get over here!  Braska, keep Jecht down and protect the civilian!"  His voice was nearly drowned out as the shoopuf heaved and finally managed to snap its tethering post with a loud crack.

It stood before them for a few moments, panting noisily, the whites of its eyes showing clearly.  Thick red blood from the heavy gash Jecht had inflicted was spilling onto the ground with each breath of the huge creature.

"We should help it!" Rikku said.

"Out of the question," Auron replied sharply.  "If it charges, we won't be able to stop it from trampling other people.  We need to kill it."

"Now, that's what I'm talkin' abo – " Jecht fell over with a pained grunt as Braska simply cracked his staff over the head of the other man.  "Oww," he mumbled from his sprawled position, face-down on the ground.

"Rikkma's correct.  We were the cause of this problem, so we can't simply solve it with bloodshed."  Without waiting, Braska sent a powerful curative spell towards the shoopuf.

"It worked!"  Rikku cheered as she saw the animal's wound clot and scab over.  Once again she marveled at the raw power behind the force of his spell; a shoopuf was several times the size of a normal human being, and yet Braska's magic worked as effectively as ever – his magical capacity could have easily rivaled Lulu's.  She pulled her attention away from the summoner as she heard Auron curse.

"It didn't work.  We've only made it easier for the creature to move."

Even without its injury, the shoopuf was still pawing the ground, eyes rolled as it prepared to charge them.  "Wait!" she yelled.  "I don't want the blood of an innocent shoopuf on my conscience!"

"You may not have a choice," Auron said, even as Braska cast another Slowaga, this time at the enraged creature.

 _Think, Rikku! Think!_   _How can we take it down without killing it?_

As if in answer, Rikku's sphere grid lit up, its magic coming to life and swirling around her.  "What?  What's going on?"

 _Let me help you,_ a familiar voice whispered in her ears.   _Use me._

Rikku blinked as her vision cleared, staring up at the angry shoopuf even as her hand automatically lifted to catch the rays of light forming above her head.

"Believe," she heard herself saying.  And then the presence faded, and Rikku was left standing in the midst of three bemused men, one panicking Hypello, and one very angry shoopuf with nothing more than a microphone in her hand.

Oh, well.  She'd played before tougher audiences than this.

"Listen up!  It's showtime!" she shouted, pulling the microphone down and striking a dramatic pose.

"Rikkma?" Braska said, eyeing her newfound excess of feathers and ruffles as she turned her back to the shoopuf and flounced.

Jecht peeled his face off of the ground.  "Wow!  Is that a skirt or just a really big belt?"

"Trust me!" Rikku crooned, sending both of them a playful wink.  Then she focused her attention completely on the shoopuf.  Even with the glow of Lenne's spirit surrounding her, she retained enough presence of mind to realize the immediate danger.  The Songstress sphere was a perfect manipulator, but the costume had no attacks and nearly no defenses.  If she couldn't charm the beast quickly, she might as well have rolled under its feet with a target painted on her stomach.

"Sleep, baby, sleep..." Rikku murmured, swaying as she pointed a gloved finger at the shoopuf.  It bellowed in response, and Rikku felt the sweat beading on her forehead.   _A really tough crowd, huh?_  She sucked in her breath and gripped her microphone.

"C’mon, don’t try to brawl..." she cooed.  “Listen to the moonlilies’ call!”  The shoopuf stopped roaring and whiffed, and Rikku twirled.  The song she was belting out was just a distraction; what really counted were the movements of her feet.  Still, if she couldn't capture the shoopuf's attention, it would be able to resist her spell.

"And down the pleasant dreams will fall..."  She shimmied to the side, then skipped, and... _there!_  Rikku felt the magic taking hold, her steps synchronizing to the pattern of light on the ground as she hummed.  She smiled as her body moved on its own, the dance itself becoming a channeling rod for the energy she was pouring out through her song.   _Come on, big boy,_ she thought as she ran a hand down her side.   _Pay attention to me!_

As if in response, the shoopuf began to sway, its pants slowing down as it watched Rikku's dance show.

 _Yes!  It's working!_  Unfortunately, the magic worked a little _too_ well.  It caught the attention of more than just her target.

"Whoa, that's pretty good, Blondie!" Jecht cheered, sitting up and rubbing his head.  He whooped and clapped his hands, and the shoopuf snapped out of its trance.  It let out an earth-shaking roar, and Rikku stumbled.

"Sleep, baby, sleep..." Rikku's voice tapered off, the spell she was weaving broken.   _Damn you to Yevon, Jecht!  You deserve each other!_

The shoopuf rose onto its hind feet, and Rikku panicked.   _Getting smooshed was not in the plan!_

"Rikkma!  Get back!" she heard Auron shouting.  Silly Auron, getting so worried like that.   _People might get the idea he liked me_.   Braska, too – he was hitting Jecht with his staff again, this time knocking the drunken man unconscious.  It was kind of funny, because everybody knew white mages hit like Shelinda, so why even bother?   Still, it was strange, though... they all sounded so distant.  Everything was fuzzy, probably because that white light was surrounding her again.  But she hadn't activated her sphere grid, had she?  She wasn't done yet.  Rikku wanted to yawn, but found herself growing worried as she realized that she couldn't blink.

_Lenne?  Lenne!  Let me go!_

Rising panic burned away the cotton surrounding her mind.  It wasn't as frightening as when Bahamut had trapped her; she knew Lenne was only trying to help.  Still, the sensation of being a prisoner in her own body shook her to her very core.  Someone else was moving her arms and legs, and as she raised the microphone to her lips, Rikku realized that she wasn't seeing her own hands.  She opened her mouth, and the voice that spilled out was Lenne's, rich and soulful.  Even the very breath she took to power her words seemed laden with magic.

"Be still, be calm, my precious boy..."  The shoopuf dropped to all fours.  "Don't struggle, my love, just enjoy."  Lenne threw her arms wide, and the beast's legs folded.  "It's much too late to get away..."  Lenne lowered her hands, and with a low keen, the shoopuf's eyes closed.  Smiling, Lenne threw her head back and spun, long brown hair flying around her.  "Fall into your dreams where we will play!"

The light was flaring, and Rikku felt her control over the Songstress sphere – and her own appearance – returning.  Even so, she couldn't stop herself from shaking as the echo of Lenne's parting laughter rang in her ears.  She dropped the microphone as though it burned her hand and reached for her belt, deactivating the sphere.  Then she slid to her knees, numb.

“Shank yoo, shank yoo!  Yoo shaved my shoopuf!"  The Hypello scrambled to care for his sleeping mount.  Rikku could only watch and stare as Auron knelt by her side.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.  "It wasn't just your clothes this time.  Your face... your hair... it's as though you became a different person."

Rikku worked her jaw for a few moments.  "I-I lost control," she whimpered.  "That wasn't me, it really wasn't me!"  She gripped her belt.  Wasn't Lenne gone, dead, living her happily ever afterlife with Shuyin in the Farplane?  Every fantasy Rikku had had, every scrap of jealousy she had ever felt for Yuna's charmed ability with the sphere grid was fading into horror.  There was nothing magical or special about being possessed; it was _terrifying_.

"That was very brave of you, to face an angry shoopuf alone."  Rikku felt an arm on her back, and looked up to see Braska regarding her.

 _Is that what the Summoner's Rapture is really like?_  She shuddered.

"And reckless," Auron murmured, but Rikku couldn't really disagree with him on that point.

"I felt it," Braska told her.  "An ancient presence.  It was almost... like a Summoning, in many ways.  But different, somehow.  The pyreflies which gathered around you transformed your appearance."

Rikku bit her lip.  "But I didn't call them.   _She_ did."

"Who was that?"  Auron's voice was serious, and... worried?  

He was worried about her?   _Progress!_  Despite herself, a small smile crept across Rikku’s face.

"That was Lenne, a thousand-year-old memory," Rikku explained, fingering her grid.  "She's done this before.  I mean, not to me.  But it's always been for a good cause."

"There's an actual soul trapped in your sphere?" Braska said, kneeling back in surprise.  "An aeon that can summon itself?"

Rikku blanched.  Well, when he put it _that_ way, Lenne did sound a lot creepier than she was.   "Ahh... no no no, she's not a Fayth.  It's kinda more like... she's an Unsent, maybe?  Except it's not really her, it's just her memories.  She doesn’t have a body of her own."

Braska continued to frown.  "Memories?  I doubt that memories alone can wield that kind of influence even with that magical belt of yours."  His frown deepened.  "Such power could be dangerous.  It might be in your best interest to inform the Church about your – "

"No way!"  Rikku shot up, bubbling with indignant anger.  "There's absolutely no way I'd ever trust Yevon with any of my stuff!  They'd probably want to shoot me just for having it.  They _did_ shoot me, actually!  So you can forget about it!"

"Calm down," Auron told her, rising to his feet and offering her a supportive arm.  "Lord Braska meant well.  He was only thinking of your safety when he suggested it."

Rikku took a deep breath and tried to push aside her sudden spout of anger.  "Yeah, yeah, I know."  She caught sight of Braska’s stricken look and hid her smile.  "It's fine, you can stop looking like you kicked me.  I just lost my temper, that's all."

"I am sorry," Braska replied as he bent over Jecht.  "It slipped my mind for the moment – how strongly you feel about the Church.  Not all of Yevon is as strict as the clergy in Bevelle, though."  Then he frowned at Jecht, who was groaning from where he sprawled across the ground.  "Hmm, I believe I may have struck Jecht a little too hard the second time."

Auron released her arm and stepped over Jecht.  "Not hard enough," he grunted, the disgust leaking back into his voice.  "What happened here?"

Braska paused mid-spell, containing the healing magic in one hand.  "Jecht had never seen a shoopuf before.  He thought it was a fiend."  Releasing the magic, he let it trickle down over the Blitzer's forehead, reducing the noticeable swelling there.

Rikku blinked.  "How could he think it was a fiend?"  She glanced at the Hypello, who was inspecting the fresh scar on the slumbering shoopuf.  "I mean, it's wearing a _saddle._  And it’s not like he hasn’t seen a Hypello before!"

"You mean he was drunk," Auron said bluntly to Braska, who didn’t quite manage a smile.

"Well, yes, there was that, too..."

Rikku kicked Jecht in the shin, causing him to grunt as he rolled awake.  "Huh?"  Then he saw Braska and grabbed his head.  " 'ey, stop hittin’ me with that thing already!"  He blinked when he noticed everyone staring.  "Eh?  What's the big deal?"

Jecht wasn't expecting Auron's punch.  Rikku and Braska weren't expecting Auron's punch either and both jerked back as Jecht toppled over.  It wasn't a punch between friends, and Auron shook out his hand after delivering it.

Some semblance of sobriety returned to Jecht as he sat up, holding his jaw.  "The hell was that for?" he shouted.

"You attacked a shoopuf.  What's worse, you tried to attack a civilian," Auron said coldly.  He gestured at the Hypello, who was ambling towards them.  "You put Lord Braska and many innocent people in danger, and you nearly killed Rikkma as well."

Jecht's mouth opened and closed a few times, then he held his head between his hands.  "Listen, I didn't know that thing wasn't a fiend.”

"Idiot," Auron muttered under his breath.  "I'll deal with you later."  He fell silent as the Hypello stopped before Braska, who bowed deeply.

"I must apologize for my Guardian's behavior," Braska said, his head dipped low.  "I really do not know what I can say, but please believe that we never meant to cause you this trouble."

" ‘ey, wait a minute, shouldn't it be me apologizin' – "  Jecht let out a sharp wheeze and stopped talking as Auron sent a none-too-gentle elbow into his stomach.

Ignoring everyone else, the Hypello swayed for a few moments, blinking his wide-set eyes.  He tapped his long fingers together.

"Yoo are a Shummoner?" he asked placidly.  Then again, no one had ever really seen an upset Hypello before, so Rikku could only assume.  Their fish-like features were so alien that it was hard for other races to interpret their usual expressions as anything other than vacant curiosity.

Braska remained immobile, his head still bowed.  "Again, please forgive us."

The Hypello said nothing and Braska slowly straightened.  "I would like you to accept this money as a token of our sincerity," he continued.  "Auron?"

Auron shifted, reaching into his coat. "Yes, my lord, but how much – "

"All of it," Braska said immediately, and the silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever, until it was broken by the Hypello.

"Verily generous of yoo," he said, swiveling away from Braska to shuffle in front of Auron.  He held one long-fingered hand out expectantly, and Auron looked down at that hand and stared.  Rikku could almost see the vein beginning to pulse in his forehead.  With a stiff movement, he withdrew the pouch from his cloak and let it drop into the Hypello's waiting palm.

Not even bothering to count the coins, the Hypello looked at the debris and shrugged.  "Next shoopuf ride will be delaylay-laaayed.  Come back this evening!"

"Well," Jecht mumbled as Braska led them away from the destruction,  "It ain't all bad.  At least we get to see the Moonflow at night, right?"

"Wonderful," Auron spat.  "Maybe that will give us time to sober you up before your next accident."

Braska's shoulders drooped, and Jecht rubbed the back of his head, looking away with a guilty expression.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 8/16: removed song lyrics, replaced with original text. Special thanks to AuronLu for helping me figure out how to swear in Spiran.


	26. Abstinence and the Heart

Rikku sat on the bank of the Moonflow watching the pyreflies gather near her bare feet, which were drifting through the water.  The sun had disappeared below the horizon and the river was beginning to work its magic.  The effect of the ethereal light the pyreflies gave off was multiplied by the reflective moonlilies, amplifying their silver glow so that it looked as though the stars themselves had fallen out of the sky.

Auron had ordered them to make camp; ferry service had begun as soon as the shoopuf woke from its nap, despite the damage done to the landing point.  It hadn't mattered much; with the last of their money gone, there was no way to pay the crossing fare.  There was no way to pay for dinner, either, for that matter.  She scowled; she’d been looking forward to having something other than the Guado’s uniquely seasoned jerky.  Now they couldn't even toss gil to see who would have to spend the night fiend-hunting in order earn the money needed to continue the Pilgrimage.

They'd drawn river-reeds instead.  Jecht, of course, hadn't been included in the pool.

Personally, Rikku thought she should have donned her Lady Luck costume for the contest.  Then she might not have come up with the shortest reed.  She planted a hand into her cheek and rolled her eyes over to her assigned duty for the night.   _I'd so rather be hunting fiends right now._

As if he could feel her stare, Jecht turned his head, his back hunched as he rode out the remaining effects of his inebriation.  "So..."

Rikku frowned.  "Did you say something?  Because I thought Auron told you to keep it zipped!"

Jecht grimaced and fell silent – for a few blissfully short moments.  "Did I really almost kill you and that blue guy?"

"He's a Hypello, and yes, you almost killed him."  She snuck a peek at Jecht.  He looked pretty haggard, even for a guy with a hangover.  And, she noticed, he hadn't actually spoken in his usual lazy slur.  A mild feeling of guilt struck her; she knew Jecht wasn't as much of an idiot as he appeared to be.  Then again, his redeeming qualities only shone through when he was sober, which, as of late, was becoming a rare thing.  Now, however, seemed to be one of those moments.  Rikku relented; he'd get enough grief from Auron later, that much was certain.  "As for me... well, that was more the shoopuf."

Jecht turned around and looked at her, his face serious.  "So that big thing was a shoopuf, right?  And I hurt it bad?"

Struck by his tone, Rikku pulled her feet out of the water and scooted around to face him.   "Braska healed it, you know.  Good as new!"

Jecht's head sunk, allowing his unkempt hair to cast his face into shadows.  "I never hurt anyone before.  I mean 'sides myself.  No matter how bad I got, I never..."  He trailed off, and Rikku waited, watching a myriad of expressions cross Jecht's face.  Pain.  Denial.  Shame.  "... maybe that ain't right.  My... my boy would tell me to give it up, and I'd always say, _tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow._ "  He stopped and brought a hand to his face, and Rikku averted her eyes.

When Jecht spoke again, his voice was low and thick.  "He's the one who's really been hurtin' all this time, ain't he?"

"I'm sure Tidus will understand you one day.”  Rikku tried to give him an encouraging smile, but Jecht wouldn’t meet her gaze.  “I mean, you're his dad.  He knows you love him."

"He's always cryin' and sayin' he hates me.  Nothin' but a big crybaby..."  His voice cracked.

Rikku balled her fists together, feeling another twinge of pity.  Jecht was alone; more alone than any of them had realized.

 _Still thinking of only yourself?_  Bahamut had asked her.  Looking at the broken man before her, Rikku felt ashamed.  She'd spent so much time spent lamenting over her own displacement  she'd nearly forgotten that Jecht came from a completely different _world_ – a world that wasn't even real.  At least she had the comfort of knowledge; nothing about Spira was familiar or comforting to Jecht.  Nothing except perhaps Blitzball and alcohol.  

Even with his brawny appearance, he was still very much a boy being forced to grow up on the fly.  He'd been so pleased with himself just for defeating the Ochu, and Rikku realized it was more than simple pride.  Jecht wasn't used to fighting; he wasn't used to being unknown and  unpopular.  He didn't have anyone to rely on except _them_ – and they'd relegated him to the group liability, just as Auron had predicted.  Everyone except Braska, who always stood alone to do the right thing.

"Hey, come on, now," Rikku said.  "So what if you don't have a good relationship with your kid?  I don't get along with my father or my brother very often, either.  But you know... every time Brother says _'Rikku, you are so annoying!'_ I know what he's _really_ saying is that he loves me.  Maybe it's the same for your son.  He just doesn't know how to tell you."

Jecht sniffed gruffly and swiped a hand over his face, pretending to adjust his bandana.  "Yeah... I dunno... maybe.  But I wanna go back.  I wanna tell him myself."

Rikku looked at her toes helplessly.  "You'll see him again, I know it."   _But you can't go back, you can't ever go back._

"I guess."  He looked up, squinting at her.  "So, that your name?  Rikku?"

Rikku's head snapped up, her eyes wide.  "Oh!  Uh-uh-uhhh... actually, what I meant was – !"

Jecht shook his head and laughed.  "Forget about it.  You ain't real smooth.  I figure everybody here knows you've been hidin' your real name by now."

Rikku let out a sharp sigh of relief.  "You mean you won't tell Braska?"

"You got your reasons," he said, shrugging.  "Not my business."

Rikku tilted her head.  "Then why'd you ask?"

Jecht rubbed the back of his neck, cracking it with a loud pop.  "Well... like you said.  I nearly killed ya.  I figure I should at least know who you are before I go and do somethin' like that again."

Smiling, Rikku flopped to her back and watched the pyreflies twisting through the air.  "Don't tell me you're planning to try and kill me again later on.  That's Auron's job, you know.  With poison or something when I get too annoying, I bet."

"Naw, he'll just throttle ya," Jecht said with a tired smirk.  "Auron don't beat around the bush."  He paused.  "And ya don't have to worry, anyhow.  He's gonna be too busy tryin' to kill me for the rest of this trip instead."

Rikku reached up and let a pyrefly settle on, then glide through, her finger.  "Braska won't let him."

"Yeah... Braska..."  Jecht fell into a melancholy silence, and Rikku kicked herself for her lack of tact.  He surprised her, though, by continuing to speak.  "He's the only one who still believes in me."  Then he coughed.  "Uh, well... no offense, Blondie."

"None taken.”  Rikku smiled.  “You're right, though, Braska's different.  I guess that's why he's the summoner and we're not.  He's just... _better_ than us."

Jecht snorted.  "Takes a goddamn martyr to be a summoner, huh?"

 _You don't know how right you are,_ Rikku thought.

The silence stretched between them as the sky grew darker.  The pyreflies had multiplied over the river and were shining brightly enough to do away with the need for a fire.  Rikku reflected on the man sitting a few feet away from her; even with Tidus as one of her closest friends, she still knew so little about Jecht.  After everything he had done for them, the sacrifices he would make for Tidus and all of Spira, she didn't believe in him.   _He's not that man yet,_ she reminded herself.  And Auron still didn't trust him either, right?

 _Auron's behavior... he's so pissed off most of the time.  Always looking for something – or someone – to fight_.  At first he'd targeted her; understandable, considering how much they'd annoyed each other.  Then there was that argument with Braska.  And now this.  If she was honest with herself, Rikku really didn't see how Auron would ever bring himself to forgive Jecht.   She rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin in her palm, studying the river.  A frown quirked her lips.  What was making him so angry?

Maybe they were all struggling with loneliness, in their own separate ways.  Jecht and his family, Braska and the Pilgrimage... what demon was Auron facing that caused him to cut himself off from the rest of them every time they started to bond?  Was it even her place to try and dig it up?   Rikku dropped her head onto the ground and groaned; all this thinking was making her brain hurt.

" ‘ey, quit complainin', I'm hungry, too," Jecht said, interrupting her thoughts.

Rikku huffed.  "I wasn't thinking about food.  I was thinking about Auron, for your information."

Jecht winced. "I'm tryin' _not_ to do that."  He let out a rough laugh.  " 'Sides, how can you think 'bout the Stiff when you got a _superstar_ all to yourself tonight?"

Well, on the one hand Jecht seemed to be feeling well enough to make jokes again.  On the other hand, it was _Jecht._  "I'd fantasize about Auron over you any day," she said, stifling a yawn.  "Besides, your ego's big enough to stroke itself."

"Oi!" Jecht grumbled, puffing out his chest.  "I'll have you know I'm the best blitzer in Zanarkand!  No woman can resist my charms!"

Rikku smirked to herself.  "I did have a crush on Tidus once, but I figure that's because he lucked out and got his mom's genes."   _Well, except mentally,_ she added with a snigger.

"Oh, really?" Jecht continued nonchalantly.  "What's so special 'bout my boy anyway?"

Rikku thought about her previous Pilgrimage with a feeling of nostalgia.  "Well, for one he's blond.  That's a big plus for most Al Bhed, you know.  And even if he is kinda stupid, he's still got a good personality.  He doesn't swear half as much as you do, and he's definitely better with a sword."  She giggled to herself as she thought of some of Tidus' more fanciful attacks; how he managed to combine Blitzball with sword fighting and still make it look graceful was a mystery.

"I see."

Rikku's eyes snapped open.  She sat up so quickly she nearly blacked out.  "Wait!  How did you – I mean, I wasn't really talking about your son –"  It was too late; the damage was done.  Jecht was sitting very still, staring at her with eyes that burned like lit coal.

"Tidus ain't blond," he said.

Rikku struggled with her words, trying to find an explanation, a clever way to patch up her mistake.  And for once, her quick mind was failing her.  It was too difficult, keeping track of all the lies, of which memories were okay to share and which were too dangerous.  She fought with herself, sweating under Jecht's scrutiny, before finally wilting.

"He isn't _yet,_ " she mumbled, drawing her legs into her chest.

The tension grew as Jecht continued to stare at her.  Finally, he broke the silence.  "How?  How can you know?  It's like I thought, ain't it?  You're from Zanarkand, too!"

Rikku rocked back and forth.  She made the mistake of looking up, and felt something inside her tearing at the look of hope written across Jecht's face.  She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, then dropped her face towards her knees.

Jecht's voice was confused.  "But... all this stuff about Zanarkand bein' destroyed a thousand years ago... we're from the past, ain't we?  Time travelers?  'Cept... you've seen my boy.  My Tidus, all grown up, right?"

"It's not that simple," Rikku said.  "You're partially right."  About her own time bending story, maybe.  But she couldn't tell him that he wasn't even real; that he and his son were nothing more than the Fayth's dreams.  Jecht was still waiting for her to continue, she knew, and she pressed her lips together and let the silence speak in her stead.

That, too, was an answer, and eventually Jecht seemed to realize it.  He sat back and rubbed his head.  "... just tell me this.  Were you lyin' to me?  Just now?  Am I ever gonna see my wife and son again?"

Rikku peeked out over her knees; Jecht wasn't even looking at her, his gaze focused on the river of light instead.  "I know you'll reach Tidus again.  Stop asking me!  Just believe in yourself for once."

Jecht studied the pyreflies, his expression unusually solemn.  "It... feels different here.  Not like back home."  He looked at her with a small, sad grin.  "Maybe I'm the one that's changin'," he concluded, more to himself.

**.x.x.x.**

The bright morning sun greeted them, and Rikku smiled, allowing herself a luxurious stretch.  It had been a long evening, but she felt lighter, happier than she had before.  At first, she'd been scared and angry that Jecht had flushed out her secret, but now all she really felt was relief.  A least a part of the increasingly-complex web of lies she'd spun had been torn away, and it made her feel free, as though it was a chance for a fresh start.

They'd made camp directly next to the Moonflow; looking out across the slowly flowing river.   Rikku observed the remnants of the previous night's pyrefly gathering dissipate over the water.    _So pretty,_ she thought with a small sigh.  In a way, she was almost thankful for Jecht's blunder; seeing the Moonflow at night was a rare and precious memory she intended to keep close to her heart.

"Hey, that's right!  I don't have to keep it just for me!"  Sitting up a little straighter, Rikku rolled over and dug through her pack.  With a squeal of happiness, she pulled out the empty sphere she'd found.  "Yes!"

"Ugh," came a low, rumbling groan from the bedroll next to hers.  "Must you always be so loud?"

"Oops!  Sorry Auron," Rikku whispered.  It had been a late night for both him and Braska; they hadn't returned until long after Jecht had dropped off and Rikku's own head was beginning to nod.  The two men had gathered enough for the ferry, but they both looked worse for the wear.  She glanced over to the other side of the camp and saw Jecht sprawled across the ground, dead to the world.   _Guess I'm on my own this morning..._

Smiling to herself, Rikku scrambled to her feet and switched on the recorder.  She panned the sphere slowly for a wide shot of the river and then froze as Braska's back came into view.   _Wasn't he out all night?  What's he doing up this early?_  She opened her mouth to ask, but stopped when she noticed he wasn't moving.  Without even a breeze to ruffle his robes, he looked like the statue that would one day grace Yevon's temples alongside the other fallen summoners.

He stood there, still and silent for so long that Rikku eventually put the recorder away in defeat.  Then, cautiously, she approached him.

"Umm, Braska?"

"It's a beautiful sight, isn't it?" Braska said by way of greeting.  "The pyreflies, rising out of the river like that.  They give me hope."

Rikku looked at the river curiously.  "Hope?" she asked.

"Did you know that I was once a missionary for Yevon?" Braska continued.  "This is not the first time I've been here."  He smiled.  "Auron was my guide then, too."

 _Auron?_  "But... you were trying to convert the Al Bhed, weren't you?"

Braska laughed. "Oh, I am a bit more well-travelled than that.  Besides, Auron himself told me the Al Bhed were a lost cause.  His judgments are usually right."

Rikku scratched her head, curiosity overcoming her.  "So why didn't you listen to him, then?"

"Auron's world view is very practical.  When he sees a weakness, he either removes it, exploits it, or avoids it.  A missionary priest can not afford to have that attitude.  The foundation of Yevon's faith is hope, despite what may appear to be insurmountable odds."  He paused.  "Even now, Auron sees Jecht as a weakness and he would seem correct in his assessment.  By all rights and logic we should cast Jecht off.  But…”

 _So he sees it, too._  "You want to save them," Rikku finished.  "Both of them."  She couldn't help the small twinge of jealousy in her breast; what had been a revelation for her last night was already a lifetime crusade for Braska.  It was foolish to be envious, she knew; the two men had been friends for years.  Of course Braska would know more about Auron's mindset than she would.

"In his own way, Auron is as limited as Jecht," Braska continued.  "He has come to believe that hope is a crutch, that it makes one weak.  I was hoping meeting you would be able to change him, but I find it increasingly difficult to stand by and let go..."  He paused uncomfortably and kept his eyes fixed on the horizon.  "... of my own feelings."

Rikku stiffened beside him, and Braska spoke quickly to reassure her.

"No, no.  It's all right.  You were quite clear on how you feel about Auron.  That is not the reason we were arguing."

"Yeah, that's what Auron said, too," Rikku mused before balking.   _Great going, Rikku!  That was so tactless!_  Glancing at Braska's pained expression, she tried to steer the conversation towards safer waters.  "You said this place gives you hope?"

Braska nodded, his face easing.  He held out a hand, chasing away a few pyreflies.  "The Moonflow looks different, now.  There was no way station, back then, no Hypello landing point.  A part of that beautiful wilderness I once knew has disappeared."

"Tell me about it," Rikku murmured under her breath.  "Isn't it depressing?"

"Not at all," Braska said, surprising her.  "The pyreflies still gather here at night.  In my mind's eye, I can see the remnants of that wild river I first saw.  It’s not really the Moonflow that I'm thinking about, though.  It's the happy memories coming here brought to me.  If it wasn't for my journey then, I would have never met Raenn.  I wouldn't have Yuna."  He smiled softly.  "And now I'm here with you."

Rikku couldn't bring herself to say anything, pulling at the tassels on her vest instead.   _How can he say those things and not make my heart hurt?_  She shut her eyes.  If she was going to be here, to stand by the side of these three men, then she had to do it completely.  Auron knew, even Jecht knew, now; only Braska remained ignorant.  Braska, who had accepted her – no, _all_ of them, from the very beginning, who told her his secrets and let her see his own pain.  It wasn't _fair._

"My name's Rikku," she finally blurted out, cracking an eye open and waiting for his reaction.

Braska continued to contemplate the Moonflow, seemingly unmoved by her admission.  Then he canted his head towards her.  "You asked earlier why it gives me hope?  It's because I can stand here and smile.  Even though the person I loved disappeared, I can still come to this river and create happy memories for myself.  Memories like this one."  Then he turned to her and smiled – a real, honest, open-hearted smile.   _So like Yuna._  "Thank you, Rikku."

Rikku felt her pounding heart slow down, and allowed herself to return the gesture with a smile of her own.  "So I guess that means I can stay, right?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he answered.

Encouraged, Rikku lifted a hand in the air and danced in place.  "Oh, oh!  And I wanted you to know, I'm rooting for you!  I mean this whole argument with Auron thingie.  Don't tell him that I'm siding with the enemy, though, okay?"

Braska blinked at her, and then let out a loud laugh.  "All right.  I'll keep fighting then, since you're cheering so hard for me."

Rikku lowered her hand and stopped swaying.  "Umm... but is it really okay?  I mean, we don't want to hurt you."

Braska exhaled heavily.  "Would you like me to be honest, or to make you feel better?"   Then he shook his head.  "No, that was uncalled for.  But let's just say..."  He looked at Rikku speculatively.  "If Auron drops the ball, I'll be waiting to catch it."  His gentle smile returned, this time colored with a hint of mischief.

Rikku swallowed.  "I'm... gonna go take a walk.  Yeah, that sounds really good," she mumbled.  Spinning around, she sped-walked away from Braska's laugh, feeling his eyes on her back the entire time.

**.x.x.x.**

When Rikku finally gathered enough courage to return, she found Auron awake and, for lack of a better word, brooding over Jecht.  The blitzer, who saw her arrive, lifted his head off of the ground with a wince and motioned for her to come over.

" ‘ey!  Blondie!  You're a lifesaver!"

"I am?"  Rikku approached cautiously; an angry Auron was an Auron she didn't want to get too close to, boyfriend material or not.

"Yeah," Jecht said, pointing at the recording sphere still held in her hands.  "Turn that thing on."

Rikku scrunched her nose.  "What?  Why?"

Auron crossed his arms.  "So you can make more recordings for your fans?  I'm sure you have plenty now at the ferry."

Jecht dropped his head back onto the ground.  "If it's on the record, then you can't kill me and hide my body."

"How unfortunate," Auron said.  "And here we are, right next to – what was it you called it?   _A river full of_ _dead people._ "

"Fine, fine, enough already!" Rikku interjected, switching the sphere on and aiming it at Jecht.

Jecht scowled, displeased to be the center of attention when he was obviously nursing a bad hangover.  "What are you shooting ME for?" he asked, gesturing for her to point the sphere at Auron.

Auron snorted in response.  "So you don't do anything stupid again.  I can't believe you attacked that shoopuf."  His voice took on a tone of annoyance.  "Lord Braska had to pay the handler for damages from his own travel money."

Jecht winced and curled a little into his side.  "I said I was sorry.  It's never gonna happen again!  I promise!"

Disbelief was written clearly across Auron's face.  "Ah.  A promise?  Which you'll forget come tomorrow!" he scoffed.

Jecht seemed to shrink under the admonition.  Rikku sighed; she felt bad for Jecht, but he _had_ brought it down upon himself.  Besides, she half-suspected that he had stuck around camp, curled on his side and waiting for Auron's inevitable confrontation, out of a sense of guilt.

Braska, too, seemed to pick up on Jecht's listless attitude.  "Auron, please."  He moved closer to Jecht's side.  "He did apologize.  He knows he was wrong."

Typical Braska; despite the money they'd lost and the transformation of what should have been a pleasant afternoon excursion into a grueling evening of fiend hunting, he still was trying to protect Jecht from Auron's wrath.  

Feeling a surge of indignation, she eyed Jecht and lifted an eyebrow. _C'mon.  I know you're better than this.  Don't leave Braska hanging.  Do something!_  She willed him to speak up, to apologize to Braska, or even just to talk back at Auron instead of wilting there before them like a squashed moonlily.  Instead, Jecht dropped his face towards the ground.

Auron snorted in disgust and started to turn away, and Rikku felt bitter disappointment welling.

"That's it."

Auron froze at the sound of Jecht's voice, while a tiny, knowing smile flashed across Braska's face.  Pushing himself to his feet, Jecht stood to his full height and clenched his hands into fists.   "Only thing I drink from now on is shoopuf milk!"

Everyone gawked at Jecht's newfound determination.  Mostly because he didn’t realize that no one in Spira had ever attempted to milk a shoopuf before.  It probably also didn't help that the shoopuf working at the crossing was male.

Still, hiding his laughter with a polite cough, Braska was the first to react.  "You're sure?" he asked lightly.

"We're on a journey to fight Sin and save Spira, right?  If I keep screwin' up – and makin’ a fool of myself – my wife and kid are never gonna forgive me."  He glanced at Rikku and gave her a brief, knowing smile.

 _Hope against insurmountable odds, huh,_ Rikku thought as she returned it.   _I guess we can all try a little harder to be like Braska._

Auron shifted, and Rikku's eyes darted to him.  She held her breath; it seemed like Jecht had taken a huge step forward just now, but would his new, fragile resolve be able to survive Auron's bitter cynicism?  And then she noticed, Auron wasn't looking at Jecht at all – he was looking at Braska.   _Oh, right..._ they were fighting, too.

Braska held Auron's gaze with his own clear eyes.  Then, tilting his head slightly, he closed them and smiled.  A victor's smile.

Auron's shoulders drooped, and he pinned Jecht under a critical stare.  "That's on the record," he said.

Rikku grinned.  She might have been losing her mental tally of face-offs against Auron, but so far Braska had an unbeaten record.  She'd have to take tips from him sometime.  Then, Braska looked at her, and Rikku felt her heart speed up.   _Uh... maybe I can pass up on the tips,_ she decided, looking down and fumbling with her sphere controls.

"Rikkma... as it seems to be a good day for new resolutions, I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to say to us."

Rikku looked up.  Auron was staring at her with his usual impassive gaze, giving away nothing.   Then again, he was used to it.  Jecht, on the other hand, looked uncomfortable, scratching his neck and unable to meet her eyes.  And Braska – _eh,_ Rikku thought, resisting the urge to fidget – he was giving her the gentle look.  The look that created a thousand guilt trips.   _How does he do that?  No wonder Auron always breaks first._  She planted her hands on her hips and pouted.

"Alright, you guys can stop playing dumb already.  Does anyone here _not_ know my name yet?"

Auron had the decency to look somewhat surprised, Braska was obviously pleased, and Jecht just looked relieved.

"Good, I kept thinkin' I was gonna spill it by accident later on."  Jecht smirked at her.  "And who's the one who's always playin' dumb, anyhow?"

"It's all right.  I am glad you decided to share a little more of yourself with us, Rikku," Braska told her.  "And... I must admit, it rolls off the tongue a bit more easily.  Less... suggestive connotations."

Rikku blushed and wanted to kick herself; Auron was staring at her _right now,_ and Braska was... was... _flirting,_ or something.  She really hoped it was _or something,_ willing her features to compose.

"Well, shall we?  Before any more unfortunate incidents occur?"  Braska gestured towards the direction of the road, and Rikku jumped.

"Ah, I've still gotta pack my bedroll and stuff!  Don't worry, I'll meet you guys there in a jiffy.  It's not too far ahead," she called out, diving towards her things.

"I'll stay," Auron spoke up.  "A fiend could attack any time."

Rikku stopped her haphazard attempts at packing to stare.  "You're not going to rush me?"  Her mouth dropped open.

" 'Course he won't!"  Jecht grinned.  "Seems like the lady-killer here's finally movin' in!  So... you guys gonna need a full hour or just a half?"

Rikku growled.  She chucked the sphere at Jecht's head and winced as he ducked.  It hit the Moonflow with a plunk, making a small splash as it sank between the thickly entwined lilies.

"...uh, oops?" she said, watching the bluish glow from the sphere disappear.

Jecht rubbed his chin.  "Wait... does this mean it's not on the record anymore?"

Auron grimaced.  "And this is why I'm going to stay behind.  Lord Braska, please go on before I do something to him," he added, nodding his head at a quickly paling Jecht.

"Whoa, it was just a joke, a joke!  I'm really gonna stop drinkin'!"

"Best to let him cool down," Braska said, steering Jecht away from Auron's harsh glare.   "Hopefully we'll have better luck this time."  He paused for a moment, his smile wavering.  "And, ahh... perhaps it would be best if you keep that sword of yours sheathed, unless you actually see me summoning..."

Auron watched the two men as they moved away, shaking his head at Jecht's near-panicked attempts to reassure Braska of his good intentions.  Then he focused his sharp gaze on Rikku, who froze.

"Hey!  Why are you staring at me like that?  I thought you'd be happy that I wasn't _keeping so many secrets from the rest of us,_ " she said, dropping her voice a few octaves as she made air quotes with her fingers.  "You have no reason to be mad at me right now!  Well, except for maybe that sphere I just lost.  Uhh... actually, just forget I mentioned it," she ended with a nervous laugh.

Auron rubbed a hand over his face.  Then he looked at her again, this time trying to soften his glare – mostly unsuccessfully, Rikku noted.  "I'm not angry.  I just want to know when and how you ended up telling them your real name."

"It just sorta happened," Rikku shrugged, turning back to her pack and stuffing her few scattered belongings into it.  Kneeling at the foot of her mat, she began the tedious job of squashing it into a compact roll, feeling a mild sense of annoyance that Auron wasn't helping her even though he'd been the one offering to stay behind.  "I told Jecht last night, and Braska this morning.  I dunno, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

Auron's silence was deafening, so Rikku paused and turned around to look at him.   _Uh-oh,_ she thought.  His glare was back full force.

"Braska I could understand.  But Jecht, of all people?  And last night?   _After_ he nearly killed you and made a fool of us all?"  He peered at her.  "Did the shoopuf land a blow to your head that I failed to notice?"

"Hey!"  Rikku huffed in indignation, which turned into real annoyance when she lost her tight grip on the bedroll, forcing her to start all over again.  "Are you saying I have to be brain damaged just to be honest with my friends?  Maybe I just felt like telling him!  Jecht isn't as bad as you keep making him out to be, you know.  He said he'd stop drinking.  Just give him a chance."

This drew a loud snort from Auron.  "A chance?  He's had several of those and wasted them all.  I gave him _a chance_ when **_you_ ** convinced me to teach him how to use a sword – and look at what he did with that knowledge."  His frown deepened.  "Why are you trying so hard to defend him?"  He crossed his arms.  "It wasn't enough to seduce Braska and myself?  You want to target Jecht, now, too?"

The mat flew out of Rikku's hands and towards Auron, though it fortunately didn't join the sphere she'd tossed into the depths of the Moonflow.

"How – how can you even _say_ that?" Rikku yelled, standing now and facing him.  "If you would even bother to talk to Jecht instead of yelling at him constantly, you might have known that he's _married_ .  You might even figure out that he drank so much because he _misses_ his wife!  Jecht might be an idiot, but at least he's an idiot who cares about the people close to him!"  She bit her tongue so hard it bled before she could add the _Unlike you!_  It didn't matter very much, as Auron seemed to read her intent.

"Oh?  So you want someone to reassure you when you're feeling insecure?  Is that why you were looking at Braska that way just now, too?"

Rikku felt some of her indignation die down; normally, she'd find Auron acting so jealous kind of cute, but he hadn't entirely missed with his last accusation.   _Me and my stupid face are like an open book to him._

"Well... it's..." _probably what you think,_ she amended, considering what Braska had told her.  "It's not like I'm _trying_ to do anything!  I just get to talking with him sometimes, and then – well, he – he – he's the one making all the moves!  Y'know, like POW!  Right outta the blue!"

"If you blush like that while he's talking to you, of course he'll keep trying," Auron replied with a hint of heat in his voice.  "You're only encouraging him."

Rikku scowled, one part guilt and _three bazillion_ parts annoyance.  "Yeah, so what's the big deal anyway?  If you're so upset about it, why don't _you_ act like Braska, huh?  Or am I not good enough for you?"

Auron stopped talking and crossed his arms, turning his face away from her.  He was scowling deeply – an expression that he'd stopped directing at her recently, and seeing it again was disappointing.  Rising to her feet, Rikku inched towards her fallen mat and picked it up, playing with the scuffed sheeting in agitation.   _Maybe we're both to blame for it this time... but Auron is more wrong,_ she thought stubbornly.   _I won't back down._  Modulating her voice, she cleared her throat.  "If you feel something for me, why don't you ever show it?"

Shifting, Auron let out a sigh. "I apologize," he mumbled.

Rikku gave up all pretense of dealing with her bedroll and matched his pose, crossing her arms and scowling.  "For what?  That's the most ambiguous apology I've ever heard!"  She swayed on her feet.  "Every time we talk, I walk away feeling more confused than I did before.   You don't hate me, but you don't like me either, do you?  Sometimes it feels more like you're just _tolerating_ me."  She grinned.  "Actually, I wish I _could_ seduce you.  At least I wouldn't be so confused all the time.  But then again, you're Auron, the man of stone."

Auron chuckled at that, finally relaxing and glancing her way.  "I'm flattered that you think so, but I'm not... entirely unaffected."  He let out a long sigh.  "You seem to have the talent of making fools out of all of us, myself included."

Rikku blinked.  "What was that?  First an ambiguous apology, now an ambiguous insult?  See?   _See?_ "  She grabbed her head and shook it.  "Arrgh, you're making me crazy!"

"The feeling is mutual," Auron replied.

"Well, at least the apology part was nice," Rikku said, calming down.  "You sure have a lot to apologize for.  So, do I get to decide what it applies to?  'Cause there's lots of grievances I have to sort out first, then."

Auron laughed, unfolding his arms and becoming a somewhat less intimidating as he relaxed.  "You are bothersome.  I suppose I'd expect nothing less from you, Rikku."

"There!  You did it again!"  She jumped up and down and pointed.

"I was apologizing for my failures," Auron relented.  "I can't be like Braska.  I can't become someone who shows you those emotions that you so greatly wish to see.  I'm not that man."  

Rikku stilled, taken off guard by his sudden earnestness.  She brought a hand to her mouth, too surprised by his confession to come up with a witty reply.

Auron, of course, interpreted her silence as a critical one, twitching uncomfortably.  He cleared his throat.  "I don't know how to express myself well.  Public displays of... affection – or even humor – are foreign to me."  He ran a hand over his head, pushing the unruly strands of hair out of his face.

Rikku smiled to herself; those two strands, even the way his now-decorative red coat was casually shrugged over one shoulder – they were all signs of just how far he'd come during the Pilgrimage – maybe just as far as she had.   _It must be hard for him,_ she realized.   _And then to compare him to Braska... none of us compared to Braska, and we all know it._  She looked away, guilty.

Auron muttered a low curse under his breath; she heard his footsteps.  Rikku looked up and stifled her yelp of surprise; he was standing closer to her than before.  Definitely closer than "just friends" close.  Still, his face was screwed into an uncomfortable grimace and he wasn't meeting her eyes.  And was that... sweat?  Beading on his forehead?  Rikku goggled and stared into his face.

"Are you trying to be romantic?  Because I'd really like to know why you look like someone's using thumbscrews on you right now," she said, half-caught between surprise and a vague sense of wounded pride.  "Come on, I'm not that ugly!"

Auron looked at her properly, his own expression losing some of its tension in surprise.  "No, you're not ugly," he reassured her, looking relieved when Rikku's bristles relaxed.  Then he rolled his eyes.  "I told you, I'm terrible at... well, _this._ "

Rikku did the only thing she could do.  She gaped.  Auron – no, _Sir_ Auron: the most famous and popular Guardian of all time, the only one who had helped defeat Sin _twice,_ the one that Barthello started that fan club for, the very same one for whom Baralai had named several sections of the city of New Bevelle after – _that_ Auron was actually a klutz at romance?

"You're joking," Rikku said in disbelief, staring at him as another one of her precious teenaged Auron-fantasies cracked and splintered in her mind.  Inner Rikku let out a lingering, mournful howl of despair.

Auron grimaced again and looked distinctly uncomfortable, backing away from her.  "Well, thank you for your understanding," he said with dripping sarcasm, and Rikku remembered that her face was still an open book.

"Oh!  No no no no!" Rikku said, catching his coat as he stepped away and pulling him back in.  "I didn't mean that you were joking like _that_ .  I meant... um, well, it's just that you're so hot, it's kinda hard to believe you don't have any experience with women."  Even as she said it, a new fantasy started to take root in Rikku's mind, her eyes beginning to sparkle.  "So does this mean I'm like your first girlfriend?"   _Oh yeah!_ Rikku screamed to herself, pumping a mental fist.   _Oh, but Jecht better not find out, or Auron'll never hear the end of it._

Looking annoyed, Auron pushed her away.  "I didn't say that," he grumbled, his own pride clearly smarting.  "Whatever you were thinking just then, you're wrong," he added for good measure.

Rikku stepped on her imagination before it could run any further than it already had.  "Oh, so you mean you don’t need kissing lessons?" she asked with disappointment.

Auron stared at her in shock.

"Uhh, never mind," Rikku coughed into her hand.

Dropping his face into his palm, Rikku recognized the calming exercises Auron was practicing.  She'd seen it first-hand several times, usually right after he would try to give Tidus some advice.  He looked up warily.  "What I meant was that I was trained as a warrior-monk in the Church," he explained.  "Yevon teaches that we should turn away from the worldly pleasures of the flesh.  We weren't strictly forbidden from doing anything – my friend Kinoc could attest to that.  You met him once, when you were incarcerated in Bevelle," he added.

"Yeah," Rikku said, shivering at the memory.  "I never thanked you for saving me then."

Auron shrugged.  "At that time, I wasn't saving you," he said, and Rikku wished Auron would stop breaking mirrors as she scooped up the remains of yet another fantasy.  "Wen is still a warrior-monk, just as I used to be.  My actions had more to do with the spirit of Yevon's teachings.  We can choose _how_ we follow our own path, but what truly matters is one's intent.  His weren't... pure enough."

Rikku chewed her lip, digesting the information.   _That's right!  Didn't Kinoc say Auron had a girlfriend before, too?  I wonder what that was all about..._  "Umm, okay.  So what does this have to do with you and me, though?  I mean, you aren't a monk anymore, right?"

"That..." Auron said distantly.  "Yes, I have left the Order; but, as I said... I believe intent is more important than meaningless titles."  He looked at her again.  "I don't mean to insult you.  And... I do find you attractive," he added haltingly.  "But I can't simply let go of a lifetime of teachings just to suit your own whims."

Rikku felt her frown returning.  "You didn't have to say it that way," she pointed out, and Auron muttered and grabbed her arm before she could walk away.

"I'm... pleased," he said, looking uncomfortable.  "I'm pleased that you told the others your real name.  Honesty is the basis for true trust and friendship.  It is what we're all going to need to see this Pilgrimage through to the end.  What you did took courage and I respect you for it," he finished, and Rikku thought she saw a slight hint of color in his normally pale face.

 _Wow..._ Rikku felt herself gawking again and shut her mouth.  "Uhh, o-okay," she replied, her nervousness returning.  So maybe he _wasn't_ as hopeless as she had thought, if he could make her pulse speed up just by being blunt.   _I really should say something, but... sweet Shiva, he sure is good-looking up close..._  Heart in her throat, Rikku stared at him, feeling the seconds tick by as Auron grew restless, tightening his grip on her arm.

"And..."  He paused, unable to meet her eyes despite their close proximity.  "...I was jealous," he muttered under his breath.

"J-jealous?" Rikku squeaked, and Auron’s face darkened a little more.  

"I was upset because it is no longer..."

Rikku waited expectantly, prodding him with a hesitant finger when he failed to continue.  "No longer what?"

Auron rolled his eyes.  "You really are going to destroy me completely, aren't you?" he muttered under his breath.  Then he looked at her squarely.  "It's no longer our secret."   _Definitely a blush now,_ Rikku observed.

It took a few moments before the fireworks finally exploded over her head.  A few very long moments, during which a clearly uncomfortable Auron began to panic, in his own stiff-lipped way.

"... It's no longer something just between you and I.  It was... special, I suppose.   Something that brought us closer."  His discomfort faded as he continued.  "Your name was something that not even Braska had."  He stiffened as Rikku threw her arms around him, hugging him.

"I understand," she whispered.  "You... you really do care."  Squeezing her eyes shut, she inhaled the musky scent of his coat as she buried her nose in it.  Then, unable to repress it any longer, she giggled.  "I like you, too!"

Clearing his throat, Auron managed to separate Rikku from himself.  He was still embarrassed by her mirthful dancing and giggles, though.  "Don't expect this sort of thing to become the norm just because we are together," he said gruffly.

"He likes me, he likes me!" Rikku sang loudly to herself, ignoring Auron's chagrin.

With a groan, he bent down and picked up Rikku's forgotten bedroll, throwing it over her head and ending her impromptu dance.  "I can't bring myself to say these sorts of foolish things in public constantly, so enjoy your victory while it lasts."

Rikku batted the cover off of her head, unaffected by Auron's warning.  "Party pooper!  But don't worry, I'll act embarrassing enough for the both of us!" she added with a wink.

Auron stared at her with his _serious_ face, and Rikku stopped teasing and swallowed.

"Uh, but not in public?" she added with a slight cringe.  She was completely unprepared when he grabbed her arm again and pulled her in.  So unprepared that her eyes were still open when his lips touched her own.

_Warm... his kiss is warm._

Pulling away, Auron granted her the briefest of smiles.  "That managed to shut you up," he noted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16: usual stuff, adverb nuking, repetition nuking, a bit of logic flow correction, nothing major


	27. Blitzoff

"Uuwuh," Jecht groaned, holding a hand over his mouth.  "I feel seasick."

Rikku skirted a little further away from Jecht. 

Auron frowned.  "We're not even on the sea."

Jecht didn't reply, instead leaning over the side of the palanquin while turning a distinct shade of green.  Rikku felt a little sorry for him.  His face looked pale and clammy, and she suspected that it had very little to do with the gentle swaying of the shoopuf.  

Despite their early start, the traffic crossing the river had been backed up considerably – mostly thanks to Jecht's ill-conceived attack – and their journey hadn't begun until late afternoon.  It was more than enough time for Jecht to start feeling the effects of his bold declaration of sobriety.

In a strange way, it was encouraging to see him suffering this badly.  Jecht had managed the crossing thus far without drinking any liquor at all.  Rikku guessed that most of his motion sickness was more the reality of his decision to stay clean.  If that really were the case, she thought with a smirk, the sicker Jecht got, the better it would be for the rest of them.

Jecht burped wetly again, and even Braska looked a little green around the gills.

Maybe not exactly  _ better, _ Rikku amended.  With a sigh, she scooted to the railing and joined Jecht, who was hanging over the side miserably.  "Hey, are you gonna be alright?"

Jecht waved one hand at her, the other covering his mouth.  "Murrrp," he gurgled, and Rikku swallowed her own gag at the sound.  She turned away – if he was actually going to vomit, then she  _ really _ didn't want to see it firsthand – and then stopped as a glimmer under the water's surface caught her eye.

"Jecht!  You can't puke here!  Look!" Rikku said, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it as she pointed at the water.

"What the hell – 'ey, lemmie go!" Jecht growled at her.  He stopped struggling and let out a low whistle as Rikku pushed his head down towards the water.  "Is that... a city?"  He squinted at the buildings rising from the river's depths.

"Yep," Rikku said cheerfully.  "A sunken city!"

"Legend tells it was once a glorious city filled with wondrous machina," Braska added as he joined them, looking into the water.  "The pride of its people became so great, however, that the bridges supporting the city collapsed under their own weight, destroying it forever."

"Maybe," Jecht mumbled.  "But I bet it looked really cool while it lasted."

"You're missing the point of the lesson," Auron called out, still seated across from them with his arms folded against his chest.  Despite his studied aloofness, Rikku noted with a giggle that he, too, was glancing over his shoulder to observe the city passing below them.

"Hey... you know," Rikku said as an idea formed, "I bet it  _ still _ looks really cool!"

Jecht looked up at Rikku's tone, and then a grin tugged at his mouth.  "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" he asked, and Rikku waggled her eyebrows before pulling up her goggles and fixing them securely against her face.

"C'mon, let's go!" she yelled.  Climbing over the seat, she took a deep breath and dove off the shoopuf.  The faint sound of Braska and Auron's cries of surprise were drowned out as she hit the water with a splash, a sudden shock of cold against the heat of the midday sun.

_ Now this is more like it! _  Rikku thought as she angled herself downwards and pumped her legs, descending towards the city as quickly as she could.  A dark blur passed her; Jecht outpaced her as he swam by.   _ Show-off, _ she thought, redoubling her efforts to reach the city first.

The sparkling sunlight faded into a hazy blue in the depths of the Moonflow.  Seaweed of impossible size swayed in the current, their numbers so thick that she couldn't make out much more than indistinct shadows in the depths of the river.  Taking in her surroundings, Rikku revelled in the cool atmosphere.  Sounds and sensations were dampened, making it feel like a relaxing escape from the loud, hectic world above.  After a moment of letting herself free-float, Rikku sighed mentally – it would have cost too much air to do it underwater – and decided to look for Jecht.  She knew she could hold her breath for at least fifteen minutes, maybe even more if she stretched it – all that diving Cid kept sending her to do paid off, after all.  As for Jecht, she had no idea what he was capable of.  Then again, he did play Blitzball for a living.  If Keepa could fall asleep underwater and live, she probably had nothing to worry about.

At the nearest curved roof, Rikku began scanning the murky depths for Jecht.  Her frown grew as she swam among the buildings; he was nowhere in sight, and she was beginning to worry.   _ I should've at least warned him there could be fiends down here _ .  She stuck her head into the ruins of what looked like an apartment building – and drew back suddenly, struggling to keep from choking as a wild-eyed Jecht surged out from the window.

Unable to yell at him despite her pounding heart, Rikku settled for a deep scowl and a few unmistakable gestures with her arm.  Jecht, however, simply grinned at her with a look of relief. 

_ He was worried?  About me?  As if, _ Rikku scoffed, and then caught herself.   _ Well... actually, I guess I was worried, too, _ and with a sheepish smile she returned Jecht's thumbs-up.  He gestured for her to follow, and then swam back inside the building. 

_ Oooh, treasure hunting! _

Instinctively, she eyed the corroded surfaces and debris inside for telltale signs of discarded machina.  Jecht was less interested in poking around the rubble, and instead swam purposefully in front of her, bypassing several rooms.  With one last, longing glance, Rikku followed him; obviously, something down there had him excited.

It was kind of nice, diving with someone who had never seen Spira's underwater ruins before; what could be considered "normal" to an average diver was still a foreign paradise to someone like Jecht.  With a smile, Rikku wondered if he was going to point out the city's strange architecture or maybe even lead her to some sort of useful machina that hadn't yet been unearthed –

"Brruf!"  Rikku coughed in surprise as she squeezed through yet another window and into a large hall with a high ceiling – one that she and Jecht were scraping the surface of as they swam across the room.  The sheer volume wasn't what made her jerk back in surprise; it was the activity  _ below _ them that caught her attention.  Jecht was still swimming in circles and pointing every now and then at something that caught his eye.

Rikku tread the water, shocked.   _ I never realized... _  Of course it made sense, once she thought about it.  They had to live  _ somewhere, _ after all.

Below them, darting around the water in streaks, was a school of Hypello.  It was perhaps what she might call a 'city' – though their gathering certainly bore no resemblance to the metropolis of Bevelle.  Rikku had never seen so many together at once; their long, stretched bodies, so clumsy on the land, served them well underwater.  They weaved and dodged among themselves, densely packed and yet still perfectly coordinated, as though their movements were some sort of universally understood dance.  Occasionally, smaller groups of Hypello would break away from the larger mass, swimming around each other in circles to form a tightly-knit ball – a feat of acrobatics that not even the best Blitzball players could ever hope to compete with.

Rikku watched, fascinated, as several of the Hypello clusters broke off, drifted away, and then reformed seamlessly with the masses below them.  Silver and blue, they blended with the water so well it was dizzying.  Their yellow eyes shone, pinpricks of light in the darkness.  It was strange, disturbing, and yet somehow beautiful.  Rikku was having a hard time connecting the slow, gangly creatures of the surface with the graceful ballet being orchestrated underwater.  


Jecht tugged on her arm, and Rikku watched, fascinated, when another living orb of Hypello drifted towards them.  As they approached, the group broke apart and positioned themselves near the ceiling.  One Hypello swam closer with a graceful flick of its body; it moved sinuously like an eel, its arms and legs plastered to its side.

"Yoo are vishitoooors, yesh?" it said, and Rikku gawked.  The heavy-sounding accent of the Hypello's voice was almost exactly the same as its brethren on the surface, save for the change in pitch due to the water surrounding them.  Glancing at Jecht, she gave the curious Hypello a smile and a nod, hoping that its observation was as innocuous as it sounded _.  Well, I never heard of a violent Hypello before, but I don't think I ever heard of anyone crashing a Hypello party, either… _

The Hypello half-turned and crooned something to the others, who closed in eagerly.  Rikku thought she might have begun to sweat, if not for the fact that she was underwater.  The other Hypello were responding with strange clicks and cries of their own – a completely different language, it would seem.  After a few moments, though, they all began to chant one word which she understood.

"B-b-b-bliiitz, Blitz, Bliiiitz!"

Rikku blinked.  They weren't really –

Jecht swam past her, a broad grin on his face.  He thumped his chest and then struck a Blitzing pose underwater.  The Hypello circled him at a dizzying speed, their chants growing louder.  Fish-people or not, when it came to Blitzball fans Jecht was  _ always _ in his element.  Rikku resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yoo human-ni-man-niman, human," the Hypello Rikku was beginning to think of as the spokesperson said to Jecht.  Then it turned an eye – only one, actually, which was rather odd in and of itself – onto Rikku.  "And yoo Al Bhed!"

Rikku and Jecht exchanged similar glances of confusion, before she turned to the spokesman – or maybe it was a woman – and gave it a clueless shrug.   _ Why is it important? _ she wanted to ask.

The Hypello arced around her.  "Al Bhed not sho bad, but humanimans need ze shurface..."

Now it was Jecht's turn to look insulted as the swarming Hypello ignored him mid-pose and circled around her instead, chanting something that sounded like  _ "bed-bed-bed!" _

_ Really, _ Rikku thought, crossing her arms with a sulk.  So what if she had darker skin, spiral pupils and a general propensity towards Blitzball superiority because of her lung capacity?  She was just as human as anyone else!  It wasn't like she was a  _ Guado – _

Rikku checked the thought as she considered it.   _ But no matter how much I don't like them, Guado are still people, too.  _  It was that kind of thinking that made Seymour who he was, she realized.  And up until Yuna's calm, most Spirans didn't seem to think of Al Bhed as entirely  _ human, _ either.  

Looking at the colony below, the lines between the races were becoming as blurred as the figures of the Hypello themselves.  Before, Rikku had grouped them together simply as another one of Macalania's varied beastfolk, so different from herself that any attempt to understand what made them tick was destined to be futile.  It was an easy thing to do with a people who were so alien to her own lifestyle.

Tobli had been the first to push for more widespread acceptance of the beast races among the human population; Hypello, however, didn't have the temperament for the same sort of passionate crusade.  Most people thought of them exactly as how they presented themselves –  quiet, simplistic creatures who stayed out of the way of others, living peaceful and reclusive lives.

The swarm below her was anything but simple or reclusive, though.  They chattered amongst themselves, and the group of youths – at least Rikku  _ thought _ they were youths – surrounding them were just as energetic as any land-dwelling teenagers, curious to meet and talk to both her and Jecht.  If she thought about it, several Hypello had already mastered Spira's surface tongue despite it being so foreign to their own language of aquatic trills.  Even if their speech sounded clumsy and slow to a land-dweller's ear, could there really be any surer sign of intelligence than that?  After all, as far as she knew no  _ human _ had ever mastered the Hypello language – few seemed to realize that such a language even  _ existed. _  Up until a few minutes ago, she herself had been one of those people, Rikku thought with embarrassment.

The Hypello cloud finally stopped their furious rotation around her and gathered back into their communal ball of perpetual motion, save for the one who was speaking with them.  "Will yoo show ussh your Blitz?"

Jecht gave the Hypello an eager thumbs up as Rikku held up her hands and shook her head.   _ Whoa-whoa-whoa! _  She shot Jecht a warning look –  _ how can you Blitz without other players? _

Jecht, seeming to understand, grinned and pointed a finger at her.

_ One-on-one? _  Rikku struggled to keep her jaw closed.  As it was, she'd been letting out enough air already.  If she had to admit it, she was no slouch at Blitzing, but Tidus – heck, even  _ chubby Wakka _ could beat her any day of the week with his eyes closed.  She wasn't a professional!  And hadn't Tidus said his father was a legend?  She sagged, letting herself be buoyed by the water, and Jecht gave her an encouraging slap on the back.

"We'll b-b-b-bring zhe ball," the Hypello crooned.  "Shee yoo topshide!"

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku broke the surface of the water, gasping for air, and shook her head.  Twisting around, she spotted the large shoopuf a short distance away.  Jecht surfaced next to her with a spray of water, inhaling deeply before whooping.

"Alright!  Real Blitzball, at last!  I'll show ya what I can do!" he roared, raising a fist over his head and sending another spray into Rikku's goggles.

Pulling them off and wiping them down, Rikku faced him.  "Hey, what's the big idea?  Who said I wanted to play Blitzball with you anyway?"

Jecht stopped splashing around, and his face fell as he tread the water.  "Ya mean you can't play?  Well, you  _ are _ a girl, but I thought what with you holdin' yer breath an' all..."

Rikku hit the water with her palm, sending a wave flying into Jecht's face.  "I can too play!"

"Then what's the problem?"  Jecht's grin returned.  "C'mon, let's show 'em what I can do!"

"What  _ you _ can do?  Gee, thanks," Rikku muttered under her breath.  "Listen, just because I know how to Blitz doesn't mean I can play one-on-one!  I'm a midfielder!  I block passes, I don't score goals!  Have you even  _ looked  _ at my legs lately?"

Jecht rolled his eyes.  "Well, that would be Auron's job, wouldn't it?  'Sides, you don't need to shoot to play  'gainst me.  It won't be a real game, just a chance for me to catch up a little bit, show my stuff, y'know."

Rikku eyed him suspiciously.  Blitzing was a pretty rough game.  She couldn't count how many black and blue spots she'd gotten trying to win that stupid prize egg necklace that Yuna had wanted so badly in the Gullwing team's last tournament.  "Fine... as long as the only thing I have to do is pass the ball to you.  No blocking, no tackling, no shooting at me, got it?"

Jecht smirked.  "You'll be fine, Blondie!"

"Fine.  Yeah," Rikku squeaked, wishing her voice hadn't risen a few octaves as she vicariously relived a few of Tidus' Sphere Shots.  "I'm gonna go tell the others what we're doing," she added.

" 'Ey, get 'em to come in with us!  Then it can be a  _ real _ game!  All of you against me!"

"I'd rather eat the blitzball first," Rikku grumbled to herself as she set off for the shoopuf at a brisk pace.  It wasn't too difficult; unlike the Hypello, a shoopuf was nearly as slow in the water as it was on land.  She caught up easily, hoisting herself onto its finned tail and earning a mammoth grunt of displeasure from the creature.  "Sorry!" she called out, scrambling up the back of the shoopuf and towards the palanquin monkey-style.

"Rikku!  What happened?  Where's Jecht?" Braska asked, standing.

"Lord Braska, please sit down, that's dangerous.  If Jecht knows Blitzball half as well as he claims to, he should be fine," Auron interrupted, glaring at her from his position on the seat.  It looked like he hadn't moved  _ at all _ since she'd last seen him.

Rikku hung onto the outer edge of the palanquin, mindful of the water streaming off of her body.  "Yeah, about that... well, we met some Hypello while we were swimming and we kinda got pulled into a Blitzball game."

"With what team?" Auron asked, gesturing at the empty river around them.

"Well, er... just me," Rikku laughed, toying with a braid, which she nearly yanked off her head when she slipped and lost her balance on the shoopuf's slick hide.  With a hiss of surprise, she planted both hands back on the railing.  "Oww... slippery..."

"Be careful!" Auron scolded her, and she noticed he'd half-risen out of his seat.

"Hey, I'm okay!  It's not like I can't swim," she reassured him, surprised when Braska laughed at her words.

"Auron, perhaps  _ you _ should be the one to sit down?" he teased, and with a fierce expression Auron seated himself – this time on the side she was hanging from.

Rikku made a face at him.  "What's with you?"  When he didn't answer, she turned to Braska, who was still smiling, for an explanation.

"Auron doesn't know how to swim," Braska whispered to her, though she was sure the man in question knew exactly what she was being told.

"Ohh," Rikku said.  "Umm, well, that's alright.  I mean lots of people don't know how to swim..."  _ not _ , she thought.  Usually it was only city-dwellers who were faced with that problem; with Spira being covered in as much water as it was, nearly every provincial citizen knew at least how to keep themselves afloat.  "So I guess that means you won't be joining us, huh," she added with a note of disappointment.  "What about you, Braska?"  She turned pleading eyes onto the Summoner, silently begging him not to leave her to face Jecht's Blitzball frenzy alone.

"Ah, well. I'm afraid I'll have to pass," Braska told her with a light smile, seating himself next to Auron.  "I learned how to swim during my time with the Al Bhed, but my constitution leaves a little something to be desired."

"It can't be that bad..." Rikku protested.

"One minute and thirty-seven seconds," Braska told her with a hint of embarrassment.

"... yeah, umm.  What I meant was it can't be a bad idea to stick around Auron right now," Rikku finished, trying to stifle her snigger.

"I'm grateful for your concern," Auron grumbled, still stinging over the revelation of his weakness. As he looked away, Rikku pounced with a mischievous grin.

"Cheer up," she cooed, hefted herself across the railing without warning and dropping her arms around him and forming a moist Rikku-imprint on the back of his coat.  He only tried to shake her off half-heartedly.  "If you look on the bright side, this means I'll get to have fun teaching you how to swim later on!"

"If we have the time for such diversions," Auron said gruffly, though the scowl had eased off of his face.  He cleared his throat and tilted his head towards Braska, and Rikku let go of his neck reluctantly.

"Oh, please don't restrain yourselves," Braska said amicably. "I fully plan to attend those promised sessions myself.  Perhaps I can improve my own time under water."

Rikku blanched and Auron mumbled something that sounded like " _ then go ask Jecht" _ under his breath.

"Listen," she told them, "I gotta go.  I bet Jecht's waiting already, but I promise it won't take too long.  We'll be back before you know it!"

Auron caught her arm before she could dive off.  "Be careful," he said, his voice serious.  "Both of you.  There are still fiends in that water, and if something happens..."  He looked vaguely upset.  "... I couldn't rescue you."

Rikku stared, a blush crossing her face.  Had he really just said that?

Even Braska was regarding him with a touch of wonder, and Auron dropped his head with a low oath.   _ "... really will ruin me," _ he muttered, and Rikku let out a tiny snicker.  It turned into a scream as Auron glared and pushed her backwards into the water.  She hit it with a splash; sputtering as she tread the water, she stared at the retreating palanquin incredulously.

"Hey!  I'm gonna get you for that!"

Auron waved a hand over the railing, already turning his back to her.  "Hnn.  Watch yourself," she heard him say as the shoopuf drifted away.

Rikku hit the water with her palm again.  "Some boyfriend!" she seethed.

"Blondie!  'Ey, over here!"  Looking around, Rikku spotted Jecht waving.  Ripples in the water surrounded him, and at first Rikku thought they might have been fish-fiends until a few yellow, bulbous eyes broke the surface and blinked at her.

"Oooh," Rikku said, feeling nervous.  As if in response, Jecht tossed a blitzball – tattered, but still in working order – into the air and waved at her.  Putting on her goggles, Rikku whimpered to herself.  "Here goes nothing..." 

Taking a deep breath, she dove under the surface and swam towards Jecht.  The cool grasp of the water was comforting to her, and Rikku marveled at the Hypello who had joined them.  They were spreading out between herself and Jecht, swimming in wide circles and forming a living sphere ring.  _  Wow, _ she thought, watching the shifting shadows cast by their bodies dilute the bright sunlight streaming in from above.

Something hit her in the back, and spinning around Rikku caught the falling blitzball out of pure reflex.  She looked up and saw Jecht grinning a shark smile and beckoning to her to pass the ball.

_ I can do this, _ Rikku thought, and with a grin – or maybe a grimace, depending on how you looked at it, she began swimming in small circles to build her speed.  When her blood was pumping, she stopped abruptly and sent the blitzball flying towards Jecht with a hard throw.

He looked pleased as the ball came towards him and twisted in the water, bringing one leg up.   Rikku's eyes widened; it was sloppy – definitely unrefined, but that looked an awful lot like Tidus' signature move.  Hastily swimming out of Jecht's line of fire, she watched as he completed the flip, connecting a foot to the blitzball and sending it rocketing out of their Hypello-made "sphere."   Nearly as quickly as the shot had been fired, one of the Hypello separated from the group and swam after the ball.  The others were busy cooing and trilling, even as Jecht lifted his arms over his head and mouthed  _ I'm the best! _

"Al-Bheeeed!"  Hearing the watery cry, Rikku caught the blitzball that was sailing towards her.  She looked at the ball in her hand in surprise, and then back at the Hypello, who was already rejoining his comrades in the circle.   _ That fast?  But he shot it pretty hard... _

The smirk faded from Jecht’s face.  A grin was beginning to bloom on Rikku's own, though – Jecht might not have been playing Blitzball against her, but apparently the innocent Hypello could make his pride smart.  With a frown, Jecht motioned at her to pass the ball again.

Rikku’s competitive streak fired up.   _ Oh no, two can play at this game! _  Swimming to build up her speed once more, she gripped the blitzball and forced herself into a spin.   _ C'mon, c'mon, _ she thought, feeling Jecht's eyes on her as she attempted to whirl the way Judda had taught her.   _ Just a little more spin on it, and then... release!   _ With a grin of triumph, Rikku let her  _ special _ pass fly.  Jecht's expression turned into one of disbelief as he dived out of the way of the ball.  One of the Hypello broke off from the group and caught it – not too difficult of a feat, considering that her pass couldn't obtain anything near the speed of one of Jecht's shots – but as it swam to return the ball, it wavered.  The Hypello's eyes blinked once, then twice before falling completely shut.  It let out a loud snore, drifting through the water.

_Oops,_ Rikku thought, watching the Hypello float away before it was rescued by one of its brethren.   _Maybe using a Nap Pass wasn't the brightest idea..._  The remaining Hypello seemed to disagree, crooning and hooting in a strange mix of cheers to encourage her.  She grinned and waved at Jecht, who glared and bunted the ball back at her.   _Right,_ _this is his show._  Circling once again, Rikku threw a simple vanilla pass at Jecht as an on-the-fly apology.

This time, Jecht caught the ball with his hands, which surprised Rikku. Then, with a twist of his torso, he began spinning, faster and faster.   _ Hey... did he just copy me?  So not fair! _ Rikku thought petulantly, watching him whirl through the water.  More unfair was the fact that he seemed to get the hang of the spin almost instantly.  It had taken her  _ weeks _ to learn that!  He kept on going, to the point where the water was beginning to cyclone underneath him. Then, coming out of the spin, he let the ball fly.

Rikku felt the pressure of the water rushing past as the speed of the ball flying by her cheek left a vacuum in its wake.  The Hypello parted, and Rikku spun around, but she couldn't even  _ see _ the ball, let alone track it.   _ How'd he get it that fast with his arms alone?  Shoot, he really is a pro! _  Whirling to face Jecht, her eyebrows rose, and he responded with a smug grin that just screamed  _ "Eat that!" _  The grin dropped, however, as another Hypello dutifully approached her, ball in hand.

Biting back a snigger, Rikku felt a niggling sense of pity for Jecht.  He was giving an impressive performance – and the Hypello seemed to be eating it up, just like a perfect audience.  Their unassuming way of avoiding his shots and returning his goals, however, was seriously annoying him.  It was hard to claim he was the best when a couple of non-blitzers were outshining him.   _ C'mon, Jecht... the only way you could beat them is if you grew gills, _ Rikku thought as she prepared another pass.

This time, Jecht simply paddled in place and delivered a powerful kick to the ball.   _ What's he trying to do now?  _  Rikku thought, watching it speed past her.  The answer came with a loud thump, as the kick actually connected with one of the swimming Hypello, knocking it out of formation and sending the ball flying back towards Jecht.  A lump of dread formed in her stomach.   _ Is he nuts? _

As if in answer, Jecht flipped once again.  Rikku observed the movement with anxiety, her rising panic making it seem as though he was moving in slow motion.  His foot connected with the ball, and another Hypello went down.   _ He IS nuts!  Gotta go, go-go-go! _  She swam as swiftly as she could for the edge of the Hypello ring.  She didn't see, she  _ felt _ Jecht reaching back, probably sucking the surrounding water with him as he knuckled the ball, and she just  _ knew _ she should have worn her Lady Luck dressphere down here –

"Booooh!"  The air rushed out of Rikku's lungs explosively when the blitzball hit her retreating back.   _ Oww, _ she thought as she lost her orientation, flipping head over heels in the water.  Somewhere behind her she knew Jecht was already in a spin, putting the finishing move on the Not-So-Sublimely-Magnificent-When-You-Got-Hit-By-It Jecht Shot Mark II.  She might have felt sorry for the Hypello he struck with his final blow, but the problem of getting her air back had a higher priority.  

Coughing, she inhaled a mouthful of water and began clawing her way to the surface blindly.   _ I need air and I knew this would happen and it hurts and I need air but I can't see anything and I need air and Auron's not gonna come and I REALLY need air... _  Thrashing around, she came into contact with something soft; eyes flying open, Rikku realized she'd been angling downwards towards the riverbed, and felt a moment of panic.   _ I won't make it to the surface! _  She looked up, desperate, and saw yellow.   _ What? _

The Hypello blinked at her, and suddenly, she was  _ flying. _  There was no other way to describe it; she felt like one of Jecht's blitzballs, streaming through the water so quickly that she would have hurt her eyes, were it not for her goggles.  The Hypello shot them towards the surface in a stream of bubbles, and for the briefest of moments Rikku felt jealous of every fish she had ever seen.

And then her ears were roaring as the pressure broke and she crested the surface.  The Hypello released her, leaping over her head before dipping soundlessly back into the water with almost no splash.  Rikku's own return was not quite as graceful; she coughed and sputtered, sending sprays all around her as she expelled the water from her lungs.  Finally, her heart slowed down to something less than racing Chocobo speed and she managed to pace herself at a steady tread in the water.

Her back stung; even without looking Rikku knew she was going to develop a blitzball-shaped bruise between her shoulder blades.   _ I can't believe I was feeling sorry for him! _  "Arg!" she screamed, slapping the water furiously.  She heard a splash and twisted around, her face set in an angry snarl.

Jecht tread the water next to her, hair plastered to his face and eyes wide.  He opened his mouth, and Rikku reached over and slapped him.

"You jerk!  That really really hurt!  I told you not to do that!" she yelled.

"... you can hit me again," Jecht mumbled, rolling onto his back and floating listlessly.

Calming down somewhat, Rikku scowled at him.  "I should."  He said nothing, and her scowl deepened.  "I should tell the others, you know.  Then Auron'll  _ really _ kill you.  They won't even find  _ pieces. _ "  He still didn't respond, and Rikku hit the water with frustration.  "Braska would help, too!"

"Maybe I should leave," Jecht said, and Rikku stopped ranting.

"Huh?"

"Leave this whole Pilgrimage thing," he added, squinting at the clouds.  "I almost got ya killed two times now.  I can't even keep my promises, see?"

Rikku paddled through the water.  It was hard to try and respond to that, especially when her back was still smarting.  "Well, everybody makes mistakes every once in awhile.  Maybe you just make more than the rest of us," she said.

Jecht gave her a half-hearted glare.  "What if we reach the other side an' I mess up again?  What if it's Auron next time?  Or Braska?  I can't stop thinkin' about it.  Just one drink.  Just one more to say g'bye."

"Don't you think you're strong enough?" Rikku asked.

"What does it matter?  You said it.  I'm a jerk anyway, even when I ain't drunk."  He flipped upright and faced her.  "You should go catch up with 'em.  Tell Braska I drowned or somethin'.  I can still reach the shore from here."

Rikku rolled her eyes.  "You?  Drown?  Like they'd believe me!  Don't be stupid and come back with me already."

"Why?  There ain't nothin' good 'bout me," Jecht answered with a viciousness that took Rikku by surprise.  "Abandonin' my woman for the bottle... an' then I never really got to know my kid.  I wanna see him so bad it hurts, but he hates me.  Hell, he's probably happy I'm gone.  I can't even stop hurtin' the people tryin' to help me right now!  I ain't nothin' but bad news for everyone, so maybe I should just disappear."  He paused.  "Tell me this, though.  You know my boy.  You said he grows up just fine.  So... you  _ know, _ don'tcha.  Do I ever get back to Zanarkand?   _ My _ Zanarkand?"

Rikku looked at Jecht; he was less of the cocky Blitzball hero they had come to know and looking more like a pathetic waterlogged child at the moment.  Uncertainty and depression had him hunching over, making him appear smaller than he really was, and even his wet hair drooped without any of its usual wild life.

_ This man saves Spira, _ she told herself.   _ You have to lie so he can go on.   _ She opened her mouth, and in an increasingly worrisome trend something spilled out of it that she hadn't intended.

"No," she said softly.

Jecht closed his eyes.

"... but come back anyway," she added, feeling stupid.  "Braska needs you."

"He don't need a good for nothin' like me," Jecht said bitterly.

Rikku didn't know how to answer him, but the water around them erupted, saving her the trouble.   Her panic died down as she realized it was only Jecht's Hypello fan club leaping around them.   One – the spokesperson, Rikku recognized – swam up to them and lifted its head fully out of the water.

"Shank yoo!" it crooned, eyeing Jecht with something close to adoration.   _ Guess it's a female,  _ Rikku concluded.

"For what?" Jecht asked; he had, after all, knocked a couple of them cold with his last trick.

"Shat wash wonderful!" the Hypello cooed.  "Wee love Blitshball, but noobody ever comes to vishit..." she added.  "Hypello never get to shee..."

Rikku thought about it, nodding to herself.  "Right... I haven't seen too many Hypello in Luca's stadium, either."   _ A Hypello Blitzball team... they'd be laughed out of town before they got near the locker rooms _ .   _ And the Al Bhed Psyches would probably be laughing the loudest, too. _  "So... you guys aren't mad, then?" she asked, just to be certain.

"M-mm-mad?"  The Hypello looked at her, then Jecht, and – Rikku tried not to wince – did that weird split-eye thing again to look at them both.  "Yoo are heroes!  Firsht humanimans to play jusht for ussh!"  She swam around Jecht, surrounding him with pleasant ripples.  "Hero!" she crooned happily, and the other Hypello decided to join in, clicking and squeaking and occasionally trying to copy the word, though it came out sounding more like a chorus of  _ "E-rows." _

"Wow," Rikku said, watching as the group of Hypello slipped away into the depths of the Moonflow.  "I guess they really like you."

The look of surprise hadn't quite fallen off of Jecht's face; his brows rose to his bandana.  "Why're they so pumped?  All we did was Blitz a little, and I even hurt some of 'em!"

Rikku smiled.  "You did something for them that nobody ever has before," she informed him.

"Eh?"

"You treated them like equals.  You're a regular Hypello Hero!" she added with a small cheer.

"Uhh," Jecht said, his face turning red.  "I guess... if you say so," he mumbled.  "Compared to those guys, I ain't no Blitzin' hero though."

"You're not their hero just because you're a guy that can Blitz," Rikku said, splashing some water his way.  "They like you because they saw something in you.  The same thing that Braska does.  Even me, I guess... when you're not trying to drown me," she added with a small smirk.

"But  I – " Jecht protested.

"You're not bad news," Rikku cut him off.  "The Neptune Sigil chose you, didn't it?  There must be a reason.  You know, I always thought Auron was your toughest critic, but maybe I'm wrong.  After all, you're the only one who wants to give up on yourself.  What happened to all that resolve from last night?"

Jecht grimaced.  "Maybe it died when you told me I was gonna be stuck here," he pointed out.

"Uhh," Rikku said, losing her concentration and dipping under the water.   _ Darn it, _ she thought, coughing as she surfaced.  "Hey... you don't know the whole story.  And you shouldn't!  Who ever said the future is set in stone?  And why are you taking my word like it's the law, now?  You're the one who's always joking about how wrong I am about everything, aren't you?"

Jecht wavered, looking between the shrinking figure of the shoopuf and the distant shore of the Moonflow.

"Jecht," Rikku said, waving and centering his attention back on herself.  "I'm fine, okay?  No harm, no foul.  And besides, think of this as your big chance."

"Chance for what?"  Jecht raised an eyebrow.

"To  _ become _ a hero, not just look like one on the spheres," she said.  "To turn into a dad Tidus could be proud of.  I think you got a pretty good start today."

With a sigh, Jecht shook his head.  "You sure you ain't gonna regret this later?" he asked, paddling alongside her.

"Nope," Rikku said.  "But it's your job to convince me that this isn't a mistake, right?  That's the point!"

"Some pep talk," Jecht mumbled, before diving into the water and streaking off towards the shoopuf.

"Yes!" Rikku said.  Then she realized she was being left behind.  "Wait a sec... hey, no fair!  You're not supposed to leave the girl behind, especially after you hit her!"  He showed no signs of slowing, and she huffed.  "Fine, see if I ever do anything nice for you again.”

She took her time swimming back; Jecht seemed to be in a hurry, as though he might change his mind if he delayed, and all she saw of him was a bright stream of bubbles.  Back still aching, Rikku watched the city below her passing by.  

_ Hmm... it really is pretty.  I wonder why I always end getting beat up whenever I come here, though _ .  A flash of silver caught her eye, and Rikku smiled at the last of the Hypello darting away between the ruins of the ancient city.

_ Those guys... I wonder why I never saw them before?  They must be just as affected by Sin as the rest of us, but they seem so... relaxed, always happy to help.  Like most of the beast-men in Spira; Sin's sorrow just doesn't seem to touch them.  _  She frowned thoughtfully as she swam.   _ Maybe someone could help  _ **_them_ ** _ out for once.  I should talk to Yuna about it, she has enough clout to do something… _

Rikku stopped herself from going down that path, grabbing her head and shaking it.   _ No... not going to think that way anymore.  I promised myself I'd be here from now on.  Just like Jecht – no more relapses! _  Stepping up her pace, she sped through the water mentally chanting her new mantra.

When she reached the shoopuf, Jecht was already there, dripping water all over everything.   Auron, for once, didn't seem to be making a big issue out of it.  He winced as he watched her clamoring over the slick hide of the shoopuf to rejoin them, and his grip on the railing was turning his knuckles white.  Rikku suspected his reticence was more due to his discomfort around the open water than any actual leniency.

"So did you have fun Blitzing?" Auron asked as she pulled herself over the railing.

" _ Well _ ," Rikku said, drawing the word out as she eyed Jecht.  She made a show of cracking her back and rolling her shoulders, and Jecht looked progressively more uncomfortable with each passing second.  New leaf or not, she really thought he needed to sweat a little; her back still  _ hurt. _  Finally, she stopped stretching and smiled.  "Jecht's become a Hypello hero!"

Auron rolled his eyes.  "Forget I asked.”

"Really," Braska said, chuckling at them both.  "A Hypello hero?  That’s a good first step towards defeating Sin, isn't it?  It seems my faith in you was well-placed," he joked.

Rikku giggled a little, but her heart wasn't in it.  People underestimated the Hypello because they just simply didn't seem to  _ mind _ what others thought of them; after what she'd seen, though, to laugh about Jecht's new "title" felt cruel.

Jecht, too, wasn’t in the mood to joke around and only managed a wan imitation of his usual cocky smile.  " 'ey, I'm gonna go hang out with the driver, I guess," he said.  "I still need to apologize to him for... well, y'know."  Ignoring Braska's look of surprise, he didn’t wait for an answer to climb right back out of the palanquin.

"Did I offend him?" Braska wondered out loud.

"Let him go," Auron said.  "At least he came to the proper conclusion on his own this time.  Savor the moment."

Braska ignored him, a perceptive frown crossing his face.  He leaned forward and strained to catch the conversation that had started between Jecht and the surprised Hypello leading the shoopuf.  At least, Rikku guessed the Hypello was surprised, since it had bothered to direct one of its eyes towards Jecht instead of the river.

"I do not think he is simply apologizing," Braska observed.  "It looks like they are actually... conversing."  Jecht laughed loudly and pointed to himself, and Braska lifted an eyebrow.  "About Blitzball, of all things."

"Hnn.  Rikku, go tell Jecht to leave the driver alone."

“Nopey-nope!”  Smiling, she plopped down onto the seat right next to Auron.  “Let him sort it out by himself for once.  It might be good for him!”

“Good for him?”  Auron scowled.  “And bad for us.  I’ll get him myself.”  He started getting up.

Pouting, Rikku threw her legs over his lap, making sure to drip liberally across his coat.  "No," she repeated.  “I’m serious!”  

He sighed in annoyance, but allowed himself to be trapped against the bench by the weight of her legs.  "He might very well be trying to pawn his next drink off of the driver," Auron warned her.

Braska, who was observing the conversation between Jecht and the Hypello with interest, shook his head.  "I do not think that is the case.  He said he would change, after all.  I trust him." 

“I can see I’m outnumbered here,” Auron groused.  Though his words held their typical bite, he dropped his arms onto Rikku’s legs, purposefully tracing a line down her calf towards her ankles.

Rikku suppressed a surprised giggle.  Then she tried to pull herself together before anyone could notice her turning into a puddle on the seat cushion.

Braska, who still hadn’t turned around, didn’t even realize he was interrupting them.  "Speaking so candidly with that creature, though…”  He sounded thoughtful.  “I always thought the Hypello were not interested in our world.  I wonder..."

She smiled, watching Braska learning something new; apparently Jecht could be more of a hero than any of them had realized – and he wasn't even trying.  "Yeah, just trust him a little," she soothed Auron.  "You might be surprised, but even Jecht can do the right thing once in awhile."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16. Now with more Auron and Rikku moments!
> 
> In FFX-2, Rikku and the rest of the girls are pretty good Blitzball players. Winning the tournament is one way to gain the AP Egg accessory, which Rikku mentions Yuna wanted.


	28. Frozen

"So where's this place we're goin' to again?" Jecht called out as he ambled down the packed dirt road, hands behind his head.

"Djose," Braska answered, a few paces behind.  "The temple of the Thunder God Ixion."

"This one's a god, huh?"  Jecht’s brow furrowed.  "I thought you guys called 'em aeons."

Auron didn't even bother to glance in Jecht's direction as he spoke, his voice dripping with irritation.  "Of course it's an aeon, you fool.  The term is simply an expression of respect."

Jecht's face twisted into a scowl of annoyance.  "C'mon man, I get it already!  No more sword lessons.  Fine, I can live with that.  But you gotta at least  _ talk _ to me sometimes!"

Without answering, Auron distanced himself with a quickening pace.

"How long is he gonna stay like that?" Jecht mumbled under his breath.

Rikku shook her head.  "We all know Auron can really hold a grudge.  And you  _ did _ mess up big time.  Maybe you should give him some space?"  

Stifling a groan, Jecht sagged, and Rikku gave his shoulder a sympathetic pat.  "Here's an idea!  Why don't you try talking with Braska instead?  At least he won't bite your head off."

"Whatever."  He did slow his steps until he was walking alongside Braska, though, who gave him an understanding smile.

"You will be fine," Braska reassured him.  "Auron will come around with time."

A muffled  _ hmph _ was heard from Auron's direction, which Braska politely ignored.

“Or maybe I can bribe him, huh?”  Jecht scratched at the stubble on his chin.  “The driver told me he’s got this cousin in Luca who sells awesome sweet rolls!”

“Auron does not enjoy sweets,” Braska coughed under his breath.

Jecht looked disappointed.  “Really.  Must be ‘cause he’s such a sourpuss.”  Then he smirked.  “Well, guess I can buy him some pickles instead, then.  Or maybe just a hot dog, since Auron’s such a big di – “

“ _ Jecht _ ,” Braska pleaded.

"Yeah, yeah.”  Stretching, Jecht grunted.  "So what's this  _ Thunder God _ look like anyway?  Is it as babe-a-licious as that Shiva chick?"

Rikku stifled a laugh at the look of dismay on Braska's face.

"I do not believe we should refer to the Fayth of Macalania as a 'chick' ... and no, I do not yet know what Ixion will look like.  A Summoner first has to establish a rapport with the Fayth before he can call forth an aeon's physical form."  He sighed.  "One would think it becomes easier with time, but..."

"You won't fail," Auron interjected.  He stopped and looked over his shoulder from his position as vanguard, meeting Braska's eyes.  "We will stand by you, however long it takes."

Braska smiled.  "Thank you.  Djose's temple is a bit different from the others, though."

"You mean it don't have one of them crazy mazes in it?" Jecht asked hopefully.   His face fell as Braska shook his head.

"I am afraid not... the Cloister of Trials exists in each temple, so that a Summoner must prove his or her worth."

"In other words,  _ boor-ring _ ," Rikku chimed in.  This one wasn't going to be as simple as the others; she'd never had the chance to see Djose's temple in action while the Fayth lived inside of it.  Still... after experiencing the joys of the Cloisters of Bevelle and Macalania twice, how hard could it really be?  She smirked.  "Don't worry – Rikku's here to save the day.  This'll be a snap!"

"Just like in Macalania?" Auron deadpanned as he waited for them to catch up.  "Because you helped us so much then, too."

Sticking her tongue out, Rikku made a face.  "I was  _ busy _ .  We had  _ stuff _ for me to be busy with then.  Say, what  _ are _ we gonna do about money?  There haven't been too many fiends around, and Luca's practically right around the corner!" 

She thought about the endless stretch of road that led from Djose to the Blitzing capital of Spira.  Even with the steady influx of fiends and bandits that plagued the highway, coming up with enough money stay in Luca was going to be a daunting task.  Popularity had its price, and Luca's exorbitant costs easily rivaled those of Bevelle – and that was excluding the fee of the Blitzball tickets she knew Jecht would demand.

Auron, too, looked uncomfortable at the mention of finances; Jecht had no clue of what awaited them, and Braska –  _ well, he'd probably tell us to think of sleeping in the alleys of Luca as a camping trip. _

As expected, Braska smiled at her without a trace of concern.  "You should not worry so much.   Where there is a will, Yevon will provide a way."

"I think I'm really starting to hate that saying.  No wait, I  _ always _ hated it."  Slumming it in Luca wasn't high on Rikku's list of things-to-do; besides being the home of Blitzball, the city was also an important commercial fishing point.  If they didn't want to come out of Luca stinking like fish guts, they were going to have to come up with some cash, and fast. 

Rikku leaned over.  "Hey... no, really.  What  _ are _ we gonna do?  We can't afford to go to Luca like this," she whispered, noticing Auron's grimace.

"You and I, double duty for the next week," Auron answered her.  "We are not going to make our beds on the fishing nets of Luca's wharf."

Braska's smiled faltered only slightly as he opened his eyes.  "Really, Auron.  It wasn't that bad the last time."

"There were still a few crabs in those nets," Auron pointed out.  "Live crabs."

"I saw it as an all-inclusive bed-and-breakfast," Braska said amicably.

Turning to Rikku without pause, Auron gave her a fierce look that could only have been borne of desperation.  "Triple duty," he amended, and Rikku shot him a quick salute.

" 'Ey!  What's crabbin' got to do with Djose anyhow?" Jecht asked.  "I thought this was some kinda lightnin' temple.  Ain't it a bad idea to stick it right next to the sea?"

"You are partially right.  Djose's temple is located near the coast, just as Besaid's is," Braska explained.  "But the Temples of Yevon are over a thousand years old.  They were built around the shrines of the Fayth, not for man's convenience."  He smiled.  "It works out to our benefit, in the end.  If the temples did not exist where they are now, there would be no easy way for Summoners to prepare for the battle with Sin through a Pilgrimage.  In order to prove ourselves worthy of receiving the Final Aeon, we must test ourselves at each of Yevon's temples."

"I get it," Jecht said, nodding.  "How many more of these places do we gotta stop by on this field trip before we get to Zanarkand, then?"

"Field trip...?" Auron quoted dangerously, but Braska waved him down.

"There are two more temples located along the outermost islands that we must travel to before we can begin the final journey towards Zanarkand."

Jecht fell silent, his face pulling into a moody frown.  "Final journey, final aeon... you guys seem all geared up for some kinda big  _ final Blitzoff _ with Sin, right?"

Braska hummed.  "I would not compare it to a Blitzball game, but yes – that is in essence our goal."

Jecht's frown deepened.  "But... didn't ya say before that Sin kept comin' back after ten years, no matter how many times it got beat down?"  He scratched his head.  "Maybe I'm missin' somethin' here, but what's the point?  Seems to me like there ain't nothin'  _ final _ about it."

The group fell silent, and Rikku's eyes darted to Braska.  He was taking his time while contemplating an answer; finally, he looked up.  "The point is that we do not know what might happen this time.  Yevon teaches that if we atone for our mistakes, we will one day defeat Sin.   The Pilgrimages give people hope.  We refer to the confrontation with Sin as the  _ final _ battle because it requires the summoning of our final and most powerful aeon.  That is also why we make our way toward Zanarkand, the most difficult of all temples to reach."

"Summoners in Zanarkand?  I’m tellin’ ya, I ain't never seen any of those while I was there," Jecht insisted.  Still, if Braska's goal had been to stave off the incessant questioning, it had worked; Jecht's boundless curiosity died with the mention of his home, and how much it had obviously changed from the city he knew.

A brief look of regret passed over Braska, which he quickly masked.  "But you were asking why Djose differs from the other temples?" he prodded.  "You will see when we arrive.  It is rather hard to miss."

Discussing the summoning of the Final Aeon was a guaranteed conversation killer, Rikku decided; fortunately they were closing in on the welcoming bridge that led to Djose's temple.  An imposing cliffside rose to the left of the path, while an abrupt drop-off to the right of the bridge bordered the sea.

"Here we are," Rikku muttered to herself, admiring the path.  The cobblestones and way posts were still in good repair, richly decorated with Yevon's colorful banners which flapped in the cool breeze.  It was so unlike the Djose she was familiar with – crumbling, dirty, and clogged with both prospective diggers and junked machina.  Here, the wind carried only the pungent scent of the sea inland, rather than the cloying stink of oil and rusting metal.  "It's so pretty," she murmured, shocked at how different her recollection was from what actually lay before them.

The jarring dichotomy of memory and reality was her own fault, Rikku realized; Djose hadn't changed into a scrap yard overnight, after all.  Fear of lightning kept her own interactions with the temple limited until well after the Machine Faction had commandeered its empty hull.  Even when Djose was considered the de facto Al Bhed home camp and she had wrestled with her own demons on the Thunder Plains, Rikku always found a reason not to visit.  If she was being honest, that  _ reason _ was Gippal.  Even though the leader of the Machine Faction was hardly ever present there, the fear of bumping into him was more than enough to keep her far away.

_ With his position as head of the Machine Faction, Gippal's practically a shoe-in as Father's successor. _  Keyakku might have been able to fill Cid's shoes, but he was gone, killed in Yevon's destruction of Home.  She remembered all too well her father's grief at the death of his eldest son; it wasn't just family that he had lost then.  Rikku knew deep down that Cid understood neither she nor Brother had what it took to pull, and more importantly,  _ hold together _ the willful spirit of the Al Bhed.  She also knew that Cid saw Gippal's interest in her – which was more like an interest in anything on two legs with breasts – as his chance to keep the reigns of leadership within the family.

Wrinkling her nose at the memory, Rikku suppressed a shudder.   _ Arranged marriages are for Yevonites, not me. _

"Is anything wrong?"  Jumping with surprise, Rikku was jolted out of her memory only to see Auron eyeing her.  "You look as though you were contemplating something important."

"I wouldn't call it  _ important, _ " Rikku replied.  "I was just remembering things I wish I’d forgotten."   _ Father would freak if he heard me saying that about his big wedding plans.  I wonder if Gippal would freak, too?  Naw, that guy would jump at the chance to get close without the risk of Cid breaking both of his legs.  He’d only start freaking once he figured out it was permanent. _

"I don't believe you."  Auron's deep voice cut through Rikku's vivid imagining of Cid attempting to hog-tie herself to Gippal with an Al Bhed promise rope.  "You're thinking of someone important to you."

"How can you be sure?”  Rikku sulked.  “I could be thinking about what I had for lunch, y'know.  Which, by the way, was nothing?"

A hint of a smile ghosted across Auron's face.  "No," he said with authority.  "It's a person.  You wouldn't bother to think that much otherwise."

"Hey!" she protested.  "I think all the time!  And not just about people!"

"Really?" Jecht interrupted with a grin.  "Could've fooled me!"

Auron's smile fell off and he leveled a frosty glare at Jecht before turning back to her.  "We can talk about it later.  When we have a little more  _ peace and quiet. _ "  Rikku watched him stalk off with mixed feelings of relief and disappointment.

"Can't a guy get a break?" Jecht muttered.

Rikku huffed.  "Look who's talking!  You were making fun of me just now!"

Jecht shrugged, unconcerned.  "So?  You ain’t no guy, and Auron’s givin’ you plenty of breaks lately, ya kiss-up.  ‘Sides, it was for a good cause.  You don't mind, right?"

Rikku opened her mouth to protest – and tripped as a loud shriek reached her ears.  Looking down, she lifted her foot and found a monkey eyeing her balefully.  Recovering its squashed tail, the tiny thing chattered at her before scampering onto a bridge post to stare her down.  "Hey, little guy!  Didn't see you there..."  Rikku cooed nervously.  They might have been cute, but Ghiki had taught her very clearly that a furious monkey was nothing but trouble.  "Umm, sorry?"

The monkey glared at her, then abruptly launched itself at her face.  She ducked, and it flew over her head with a loud screech.

"Close call... hey guys, watch the monkeys!" she yelled as Jecht let out a belly laugh.  “What's so funny?”

"You!" Jecht said, pointing.  "You're actually scared of a damn mon – !"

A furry body plastered itself against Jecht's face, cutting him off.  Muffled shouts could be heard as he staggered across the bridge, clawing at the writhing ball of fur that had attached itself to his head.  "Met it moff!  Met it moff!"

Rikku winced.  "Should we help him?"

Auron, who had stopped to observe Jecht’s flailing, strode on towards the temple after a moment.  "Like attracts like," he said.  "Just make sure he doesn't fall into the water."

"Well, he is moving in the right direction," Braska observed as Jecht slammed into one of the posts, sending a few more monkeys flying.  “Generally.”  At least three more of them had joined the first attacker, hanging off of Jecht’s shoulder, arm, and leg.  "But we finished the last of our rations on the way here," he observed dubiously.  "I'm not entirely certain  _ how _ we could help him."

Another partially-stifled scream was heard –  _ "...mit me mon meh mass!" _ – and Braska and Rikku cringed.  

Digging around in her pouch, Rikku's hand closed around a small grenade.  “Well, I do have one last trick up my sleeve..."  Cupping a hand over her mouth, she called out towards Jecht.  "Stay still!  Help is on the way!"

"Is that wise – " Braska started to say, but Rikku had already pulled the pin.

"Let 'er rip!" she yelled, tossing the grenade at Jecht.  There was a loud boom, and then the monkeys scattered as Jecht collapsed onto the ground.  "Oh wow, it really worked!"

"Uhh," Jecht groaned, sitting up with unfocused eyes.  "Who turned out the lights?"  He rubbed his face, groggy.  Then he swiped a hand over his eyes again, this time more urgently.  “Wait... my eyes... the little bastards got my eyes!  Aww, hell!  I can't see nothin'!"

Rikku took care to avoid Jecht's new, monkey-free flailing assault as she darted in and slapped him on the side of the head.  "Relax, loser.  You're not blind, I just hit you with a smoke bomb.  It'll wear off in a little bit."

"A smoke bomb?  What the hell were you thinkin'?  You coulda killed me!"  Jecht scrambled to his feet.  He swayed as he rose to his full height, and she grabbed him by the arm to steady him.

"You could say I owed you one," she chirped, slapping him on the back to emphasize her point.  The motion nearly sent the disoriented man back to the ground.  "Besides, it got rid of the monkey problem, didn't it?"

Braska cleared his throat.  "That was not really necessary.  The wildlife of Djose is peaceful enough, as long as you do not provoke them."  Even as he spoke, a small ring of adoring monkeys had gathered at the hems of Braska's robe, looking deceptively cute and innocent as they watched him with their large eyes.  "Besides," he continued, unaware of the animals' attentions, "It would be cruel to take away Jecht's first sight of one of Yevon's more spectacular temples."  With a spin of his staff and a few softly spoken words, he whisked the blindness away from Jecht's eyes.

Rikku swore she heard the monkeys cooing in unified awe as Braska's soothing magic hummed through the air.  She hid her envious glare.  "Well not all of us can be perfect."

Jecht stretched next to her, blinking and enjoying the return of his vision.  "Maybe he lines his robes with banana peels."  Then he turned full-circle, taking in their surroundings.  "Gotta say, Braska.  I don't see nothin' special 'bout this place yet."

Braska made a small gesture.  "Follow me."  As he turned to walk across the bridge, the ring of monkeys surrounding him froze, their ears pointing upwards.  Then, in silent streaks of white, they scampered away in unison, disappearing between the rocks.

Rikku gulped.  "What was that?"

"They finally figured out he wasn't gonna donate any bananas to the cause?" Jecht quipped.  He dropped his hands away from his head, though, one lingering on the hilt of his sword, and sniffed the air.  " ‘ey, you guys smell somethin' weird?"

Braska also stopped, a slight frown marring his features.  He spared a cursory glance at the rocks, and then turned towards the drop-off, facing the open sea.  "The monkeys went into hiding.  Something frightened them."

"Eh?" Jecht asked, but Rikku was already hurrying down the path, feeling a roiling sensation in the pit of her stomach.  It wasn't a scent Jecht was noticing, but something far more insidious.

"I'm gonna go get Auron, okay?" she said.

"No need," Auron replied as he approached them at a jog.  His sword was already out, and Rikku moaned.

"Please say that's just my empty stomach making me queasy."  She reached for her daggers and hoped that her denial would break the horrified trance falling over them.

"Strange, that it would come this close to the temple," Auron said to Braska, who only shook his head.

"They say it is drawn to the Hymn.  Though, to my knowledge it has only assaulted a temple once before.  The presence of the Fayth must be enough to repel an open attack..."

"What?  What're you guys talkin' about?" Jecht asked, his frown turning anxious.

Rikku shushed him.  "Sin," she whispered, scanning the still-calm waters for any sign of motion.   A ripple caught her eye, and she pointed.  "Over there!"

Even as she shouted the water broke, waves cresting over the massive hull of the monster as it surfaced.  An inhuman roar filled the air, and the ground around them shook.  Gigantic waves parted and smashed against the cliffside as Sin swam through the water, its cracked and pock-marked skin hardening into enormous fins which pulsed in the air.

"Holy shi – " Jecht mouthed, his eyes wide.  

_ He's never seen Sin like this before, _ Rikku realized; they'd only fought against Sinspawn to date, and Macalania's forests had been much too dense to display the full size of the creature.  This Sin was truly impressive, and what was worse, it was kilometers off the coast – and the mere sight of it was still enough to make Rikku's knees go weak.  It was bigger than she remembered, a  _ lot _ bigger.

"How many years has it been again since the last Calm?" she squeaked.

"Too many," Auron said grimly.

"Nearly thirty," Braska added, eyeing the beast on the horizon.  "It's grown a bit since I last saw it."

Rikku reeled; even from this distance, Sin's aura was beginning to affect them.  She clapped a hand over her mouth, trying to take shallow breaths.  "The toxin!  We've gotta get outta here!"

Auron nodded.  "Summon later," he commanded Braska, pushing him down the path towards the temple.  "We need to get to safety first."

"But I can still – " Braska protested, his eyes trained on Sin.  Rikku flinched at what she saw on his face; fear, obsession and...  _ hatred? _  Something disturbingly close to it warred across his expression.

"Later!  There'll be fiends and Sinspawn enough to deal with at the temple," Auron said, now bodily dragging Braska away from the cliffside.

As if waking from a trance, Rikku shook her head and elbowed Jecht, who was still gaping.   

"That's the thing that brought me from Zanarkand?" he wondered.  He looked at Rikku in confusion.  "We’re gonna fight  _ that _ by ourselves?"

"Jecht, focus!  We've got to cover them, the fiends will be here any minute!  C'mon, do your job!  Help me protect Braska!"

Coming out of his stupor, Jecht gave Rikku a tense nod.  "Yeah... don't know how we're gonna protect anybody if that thing decides to come over here, though."

"Rikku!" Auron called out, and she gave Jecht one last look before racing towards the others.  She saw soon why they'd pulled up short; a basilisk had squeezed out from between the rocks, attracted by the same noxious aura that was making her feel so woozy.  Two funguars also sprouted nearby, brought into early bloom by the toxin.  "Have you fought these before?" he asked tersely.

Rikku didn't bother to answer; time was short, and with Sin on the coast she didn't want to risk staying in the open.  Sprinting forward, she heard Auron's soft curse behind her as he followed. "Rushing in with no plan?" he grunted at her as he prepared his sword.  Ignoring him, she focused on the basilisk, trying to avoid its gaze.   _ Pyreflies, pyreflies… _

"Look out!  Them plants have teeth!" Jecht shouted from somewhere behind them; it was the only warning before flames washed over her, tongues of magical fire created by the funguars that burned wherever they touched open skin.  Gasping at the sudden pain, Rikku's concentration broke.  It was too late to stop; her hand was rushing in, but now it wasn't a creature of pyreflies but just a really huge, ugly snake and she  _ hated  _ snakes –

"Oww!" Rikku yelled as her palm slapped against the hard, unyielding scales of the furious fiend.  It let out an answering roar and swooped down towards her, its fanged mouth open and dripping acidic saliva.  " _ Aah! _ " she screamed, cowering against the strike.

The hit never came; a swoosh of air passed over her head, followed by a wet squelch, and the creature let out a shriek of pain as it skid back a few meters.  It was enough space for Rikku to back-roll out of the way of the basilisk's attack.

Auron shoved her backwards, and Rikku marveled at his raw power.  She recognized the attack he’d used against the fiend; Power Breaks, he called them – a concentrated strike to a foe's weakest point, to knock its strength away.  "Thanks," she wheezed, and Auron whirled his sword around, flicking some blood off the blade.

"We need a plan," he said, trying to keep an eye on the fiend without petrifying himself.

"Plan?”  Jecht caught up to them, bouncing in place.  “We hit it with our swords 'til it dies!"  He formed his fingers into a familiar triangle before throwing a Haste spell over Auron.  "Let's go!" he cheered, raising his own sword and rushing in headlong.

"Jecht!" Rikku yelled, but it was too late to stop his charge.  Unaware of the danger, Jecht looked up mid-strike and froze in place, telltale signs of graying petrifaction working its way over his legs.

Auron let out a few oaths under his breath.  "Can you destroy the funguars with your magic?" he asked.

"I already have a plan," she assured him.  "Take care of the snake, and don't worry about me this time."   _ I won't fail twice. _  Gritting her teeth, she rushed in again, ignoring Auron's dismay.

_ I'm stronger than you.  I know it.  You're nothing but pyreflies.  Give! _

She struck hard, pushing her hand through,  _ between _ the basilisk's layers, reaching, searching until her fingers closed around something small and hard.  With a shout of triumph, Rikku pulled back the grenade, not pausing in her retreat as she lobbed it at the cliffside.  The ensuing explosion sent massive chunks of rock and dust flying into the air, temporarily blinding her as she scrambled in what she hoped was the direction of her companions.

When the smoke cleared, Rikku made out the unique shape of Braska's feathered circlet, waving like a banner in the dusty aftermath.  She saw him leaning over Jecht, who looked much less gray than before.  "Did I get 'em?" she asked breathlessly, spinning to watch Auron face off with the basilisk.  Rays of reflected sunlight flashed into her eyes as she tracked the battle, caught along the blade of his sword, which was in the constant motion.

Braska coughed and straightened, his eyes scanning the cliffside.  Then he smiled.  "Effective," he noted, pointing at the two newly-formed funguar sculptures gracing Djose's path.  "Auron might need some..."

Another squeal of pain was heard, and Rikku watched as the basilisk burst into a cloud of pyreflies at Auron's last, savage strike.

"... assistance," Braska finished.

"Wow," Rikku said, allowing herself a moment to be impressed.  Auron turned to face them, ignoring the pyreflies that were still swirling around him.

"No time to talk, let's go!" he shouted, pointing at the path.

"Right," Rikku said, helping Braska heft a woozy Jecht to his feet and hurrying after him.

"Guuuh..." Jecht groaned, gradually regaining the use of his limbs as they half-dragged him down the road.  "Maybe I should take up them lessons with Auron again..."

Rikku clenched her teeth.  "You did good.  Just be glad Auron's better, right now.  I don't know if we could take another basilisk..."

Auron pulled up short, motioning for them to stop.  "Wait," he said suspiciously.  Violent waves burst against the cliffside in a deafening roar, and in the short lull that followed, Rikku heard it – the sound of falling rock, a scrape of scale against stone.  She let out a tiny whimper.

"But we just fought that!"  Not one, but  _ two _ basilisks slithered out from between the stones to greet them.

Jecht shoved off of her, gripping his sword and staggering towards Auron.  "Who cares?  We'll take 'em down, just like the other one," he growled.

Auron nodded.  "I'd rather take our chances with the snakes instead of Sin."  Even he was beginning to sweat, though; the oppressing sensation of the toxin was taking its toll on all of them, any fighting aside.

Rikku gulped, putting on her best game face.   _ I  _ **_really_ ** _ hate snakes, _ she thought, wishing she could give in to the toxin's call to curl up and fall asleep.  "Yeah, let's do it!" she forced herself to cheer instead.   _ I'm not going down without a smile on my face. _  "You ready, Braska?"  Hearing no answer, her heart skipped a beat –  _ Was there another fiend?  Did the toxin get him? _ – and she whirled around to look at him.

He was kneeling on the ground, his staff outstretched, eyes focused on the air before him in abstract concentration.  "Braska?"

"Shh!" Auron pulled her back, causing her to trip and stumble against his chest.  Steadying herself, Rikku blinked as the pyreflies gathered around the summoner and exploded into a rainbow of crystalline color.

"He’s... gotten better at summoning," Rikku breathed as she watched Shiva burst out of her icy prison with a careless gesture.

"Sin is here.  He's motivated," Auron replied.  Then he raised his voice, addressing Jecht.  "All we can do is stay out of his way."

Jecht, too, was staring as the towering aeon stalked haughtily past him, leaving trails of icy crystals in her wake.  "Don't need to tell me twice," he said, scrambling away from the ice elemental after she dropped her veil into his arms.  "Don't she look madder than before?  That is one bitch I don't wanna cross right now..."

Shiva was already kissing her fingertips in a deadly greeting, icy winds beginning to cyclone around her.  Rikku's eyes widened.  "Diamond Dust?  He's making her do that  _ now? _  But we're too close!"

Auron released Rikku to kneel in front of Braska.  "Take cover!" he shouted to her and Jecht.

"No way," Jecht growled, joining Auron and doing his best to make a human shield for Braska.

"Don't be a fool, at least I'm wearing armor," Auron hissed at him, but Jecht's answering glare matched his own.

"If that's what it takes to show you I'm serious, then live with it."

Rikku crouched down on Braska's other side, shivering from the numbing cold surrounding them as Shiva gathered her energy overhead.  Auron stopped glaring at Jecht to stare at her.

"You, too?"

"Heh heh..." Rikku laughed nervously.  "The more the merrier, I always say!"

Auron's face hardened even as the powerful attack Shiva was unleashing on the unfortunate basilisks screamed through the air, transforming the balmy ocean cliffside into an arctic wasteland.

"Together, then," was the last thing Rikku heard him saying, and then the world was blanketed in white.

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku woke with a gasp, wheezing and shuddering.  "C-c-c-cold!" she croaked, wincing at the painful stiffness in her limbs.  She relaxed when she saw Braska sitting across from her, safe, although his eyes were dark with concern.

"Rest," he soothed her, easing her back down onto the bed as her panic subsided.

"What happened?  Where's Auron and Jecht?"

Braska's head dropped.  "Auron is fine.  We were rescued by the warrior-monks stationed at Djose.  In fact, we are inside one of their field tents right now.  Auron is negotiating with the other monks for our stay here."

"Monks," Rikku said, biting the inside of her cheek.  Yevon's army of brutal enforcers.  There was a reason Auron was so good at what he did, and now, apparently, he had company.  A whole one, from the sound of it.  "What're they doing all the way out here?"

"This was not the first sighting of Sin near the coast," Braska explained.  "It was seen moving near Luca, out towards the smaller villages.  I believe the Church deployed them to protect the other temples."

"And Luca," Rikku added, only to be met with silence.  "I mean it's not like they can ignore it, right?"

Braska sighed.  "Protecting the temples must take precedence over protecting Blitzball tournaments," he murmured.  

Rikku understood what that  _ really _ meant; Luca was in many ways a rival city to Bevelle.  Bustling with commerce and nearly as large and densely populated as the capital, it was a major hub for trade and interaction for all Spirans, fuelled by their love for sports.  Unlike Bevelle, however, there was no Fayth, no temple, and no overwhelming presence of Yevon – just Blitzball, a game which crossed differing cultures and artificial borders as easily as the Church drew them.  No, Rikku understood, if Sin attacked Luca the Church would be the last to step in and interfere.   _ Just like Mushroom Rock all over again. _

"One of Auron's friends is directing the monks’ activities now – Wen Kinoc, have you met him?"  Braska smiled faintly.  "I suspect that Auron is currently trying to...  _ broaden _ the Church's perspective."

"Fat chance," Rikku mumbled.  Catching Braska's look of surprise, she modulated her tone.  "Uh, I mean, Kinoc's not here right now, is he?"

Braska shook his head, and Rikku tried to hide the look of relief that crossed her face.  "No... but Auron's name still carries some weight with the rest of the monks.  I am sure everything will work out for the best."

"Mm-hmm," Rikku added, trying to sound cheerful but failing.  Braska didn’t press her, much to her relief.  Turning her head, she squinted into the darkness and made out another body on the cot next to her.  "Is that Jecht?" she asked, pushing herself up on her elbows.  He looked out for the count, breathing deep, steady breaths and for once not snoring.

Rikku waited as Braska stared at the man in question.  The silence drew out, and unable to bear the growing tension, she bit.  " _ Hello? _ "

Braska's expression was pinched and drawn.  "... I healed him," he finally said.  "He is still asleep.  Auron said he had told him to flee, but Jecht would not listen."  His eyes were still fixed on the slumbering man.

"It's alright.  It looks like he's just sleeping."  Rikku stretched the kinks out of her back.  "I'm sure you did your best."  She stopped as she noticed Braska growing rigid.  "Huh?  What'd I say?"

Braska stood up.  "It is nothing," he answered with an air of weariness.  "I am glad you are feeling better, Rikku.  I just need to step out for some fresh air."

Rikku watched him go, frowning as she massaged one particularly sore muscle in her shoulder.   _ Wonder what his problem is? _

Braska pulled back the curtain covering the entrance to the cramped tent, but stopped before he could run into Auron.

"My lord?"

"She's awake," Braska murmured, brushing past the other man.

Rikku winced at the sudden onslaught of light from his exit and turned her head away – and froze.  A small beam of light shone across Jecht, revealing a myriad of angry red welts crisscrossing his arm.  The thin strip of light widened, exposing more of his chest, and the trail of scars continued, bisecting his tattoo and creating angry roadmaps across his dark skin.  Even without seeing the rest of him, she finally understood why Braska left.

She could almost see it... Jecht, kneeling alongside the rest of them, surrounded by Shiva's summoned frost.  The ice encasing them as the aeon lifted a hand, her expression as cold as their deadly blanket.  Her fingers snapping, shattering their crystal tomb.  Millions of sharpened, tiny knives cutting, piercing, stabbing across Jecht's open skin as the shards flew.  Rikku covered her mouth and let out a small gasp of dismay.

"His face was scarred as well," Auron said from his position at the door.  He let the curtain drop, the ray of light thinning to a tiny sliver once more.  "He almost died to protect Braska from his own aeon."

"What about us?  Why are we – oh no!"  Rikku felt a small flush of guilt as she ran her hands over her arms and legs, checking for wounds.  A weight settled beside her as Auron sat on her cot.

"You are fine," he said.  Even in the dim light, Rikku could tell he wasn't looking at her.  "You just couldn't leave, as I'd asked you to."  A note of muted anger colored his words.

Rikku drew her knees up under her chin.  "Why are you so mad about it?  And why am I okay while Jecht looks like a tic-tac-toe game?"

Auron stared at Jecht, not meeting her eyes.  "I knew what would happen.  I couldn't let you take the brunt of that attack.  You're nearly as lightly dressed as him," he added, jerking his chin towards Jecht.  The tension practically radiated off of Auron.

"You protected me?" she asked.  "I thought you were guarding Braska."

"I failed in that duty."  Auron's fist tightened against his coat.  "Jecht did not."

Feeling guilty, Rikku dropped her head.  "I should’ve listened to you."  She knew she should have been happy – she was getting her wish, after all: Auron had protected her.  It should have been romantic – to be the center of one man's attention, placed above even his own strict code of duty as a Guardian.  Instead, she felt brittle inside.   _ I made him choose.  Protect Braska, or protect me.  And he chose me.   _ She closed her eyes.  "I'm sorry."

"Hnn.  Guard your emotions, then guard your Summoner," he said bitterly.

Rikku looked up at Auron.  "Do you regret it?  Us, I mean?"

Auron faced her.  "I never asked for this."

Rikku nodded, ignoring the stab of hurt in her chest, and dropped her chin back onto her knees.  

"Do you at least forgive Jecht now?" she asked, remembering how hard the other man had been trying to catch Auron's attention – and approval – before for the attack.

One eyebrow rose in surprise.  "Braska was correct.  He always had potential.  I'm the one who was blind."  His words tapered off into the darkness.

"I hear a  _ but, _ " Rikku prodded.

"Forgiving myself is another matter."

His words weren't really that much of a surprise.   _ Don't turn away just because it hurts, _ she wanted to say.  Instead, she let out a small sigh of disappointment.  "I'm not giving up on us, you know.  There's gotta be a way for both of us to be happy."

Auron said nothing, but he didn't protest, and Rikku took that as an encouraging sign.

"But I really am sorry.  Next time I won't make you choose, okay?"

"There won't be a next time," Auron declared, standing.  "I won't allow it to happen again.  Meet us outside when Jecht wakes.  The temple awaits us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16 - just a bit of standard structural cleanup. One small error fix about Sin attacking temples.
> 
> N.B. - This is the cliffhanger chapter I left the original readership with for 8 years. I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS. *hangs head in shame*


	29. Ancient History

Chasing after Auron and Braska in the makeshift warrior-monk camp was not going to go down in history as one of Rikku's finer moments.

"You can leggo now, I'm fine," Jecht groused as she dug her fingers into the man's meaty forearm.  He scowled as her grip only tightened around his elbow in response.  "Look, I know a few new scars add to a man's mystery, sweetheart, but this property's taken – "

Rikku rolled her eyes upwards and turned her grip into a sharp pinch on the delicate skin of Jecht's inner elbow.  It did cause him to let out a high-pitched yelp of pain, cutting him off effectively.

"I know you're a big strong man and you can handle near death experiences really well, but this isn't about you!  Help a girl out with her social anxiety, alright?"

Jecht snorted at her.  "That ain't like you," he noted, but he also didn't push her arm off.

Rikku cast her eyes to the left and right and scooted a little closer.  While it might have been her overactive imagination, it felt like a thousand hostile stares were piercing even more holes into her already tatty linen cloak.  She pulled the worn cloth closer around her neck, knowing that it actually made no real difference.  Their party's entrance to Djose had been nothing short of spectacular, considering how they'd ridden in on a wave of sinspawn and Shiva's ice crystals.  Everyone stationed there had already seen and heard their ragtag Pilgrimage arrive in the loudest, most explosive way possible.  

And it wasn't even a good entrance at that – the days of Y-R-P!ing in with a practiced smile and a well-rehearsed pose were definitely over, Rikku admitted with a wince.

Instead, Yevon's crack troops were witness to a disgraced summoner unable to control his own powers, a formerly respected monk who had been ejected from their own ranks, an Al Bhed heretic and an unconscious Blitzball lunatic crashing straight into Djose, right in the middle of Sin's attack.

Rescued!  They had needed to be _rescued!_ In retrospect, it made the act of attempting to disguise herself behind her robes seem even more pointless, and Rikku straightened her shoulders with a sigh of surrender.

Trying to armor herself against the worst of the glares, she considered the mix of monks and crusaders surrounding them.  People were always subdued after one of Sin's rampages, but even here she could see conversation dying off as she and Jecht strode past tents, then picking up again in silent, pointed whispers behind them.  It could get worse, she figured.  Kinoc himself could have been stationed with the battalion camped outside of Djose's temple.  Rikku wasn't eager to find out if he was actually there; she was more than willing pass on any possible chance of meeting him.  Their first encounter in Bevelle seemed like decades ago in her mind, but even that distance couldn't stop her from remembering the way his lecherous gaze had crawled up and down her body.  With an involuntary shiver, she eyed the other warrior-monks milling around, wondering how much of Kinoc's leadership would inevitably rub off onto his troops.  Looking up, she saw Jecht's frown as his calloused hand came up to cover hers.

"You alright?" he grunted, the first notes of actual concern trickling into his voice.  "Somethin' happen while I was out?"

"It's nothing."  Rikku plastered an absent smile on her face to mask her discomfort, still keeping her close proximity to Jecht.  "I'll be fine as soon as we're out of here," she muttered through her clenched teeth, meeting the stare of yet another silent monk as they passed by.  "Have you seen Auron or Braska yet?"

Jecht answered her with a grunt and quickened their pace, drawing them away from the makeshift barracks and towards the entrance of the small inn just outside the temple.  Rikku felt her shoulders loosening as they left the immediate company of Yevon's faithful army and entered more neutral ground.  She spotted Braska and Auron, both tense, waiting near the concessions counter.

"Chin up, eyes forward!" Rikku yelled at them with false cheer, waving.  Braska graced them with a weak smile, but as expected, Auron didn't smile at all.

"I'm glad to see you are feeling better," Braska said, his eyes running over Jecht and pausing as he assessed the new scars.  A fleeting look of pain flickered across his eyes before he smoothed his features.  "Did you encounter any problems exiting the camp?"

Jecht shrugged, dislodging Rikku and pointed a thumb at her.  " ‘Sides the little lady here worryin' about nothin', not really."  He scowled as he took in his three companions, each drawn with more tension than he was used to seeing.  "What gives?  Why're you all lookin' like we're about to enter a Blitzoff with a losin' team?"  His brows rose as he took in Auron's stony countenance, which was even more intimidating than his usual game face.  "Even you, ice-man?"

Auron let out a gusty sigh and unfolded his arms.  He tilted his chin at the camp they'd just exited and narrowed his eyes.  "It seems no matter how far from Bevelle we travel, the hand of Yevon continues to reach out to cast shadows over us all."

Braska dipped his head with a wry smile.  "Some of these shadows are of our own making, Auron."

Auron's expression tightened, and he turned to Braska.  "My lord, what happened was not your fault – "

"Hey!" Rikku chimed in, breaking her uncharacteristic silence before chewing on a fingernail.  "All this doom and gloom is great, I mean, par for the course with the Yevon and all that, but we have more important questions to answer.  You know, like _are they after us?_ "

Jecht scratched his head, nonplussed.  "Why would they be after us?  We ain't done nothing wrong, right?"  At the extended silence, his eyebrows shot up.  " _Right?_ "

Braska coughed into his hand.  Auron grit his teeth.  Rikku pointed at herself and gaped.  

"I feel like I'm missin' something here," he answered blankly.  As Rikku opened her mouth, he waved her down.  "Well, besides you.  I already got this Al Bhed stuff down. You hate ‘em, they hate you, we all hate each other, big deal."

Rikku eyed the others and sighed.  "Let's get inside.  I can feel those guys staring at us.  We can walk and talk, right?"  As they made their way towards the temple entrance, she stopped and looked back at the camp, her brow furrowing.  "I'm surprised they're not asking for your help though.  Usually there's a lot of Sending needed after Sin hits the coast."

Braska shook his head.  If his feathers could droop, they probably would.  As it was, the way his posture bowed was a story in and of itself.  "I did offer my services, and there were a few who accepted… among the civilians."  He attempted a smile at Jecht's puzzled look.  "Sending the souls of the departed to the Farplane is one of a summoner's primary duties.  We allow those who have passed to find peace, preventing their restless souls from turning into fiends.  Even so, there are many among the warriors who feel strongly about allowing one such as myself to perform that sacred ritual."

"Because of us Guardians?" Jecht asked, for once displaying something akin to tact rather than pointing his finger at Rikku.

"Not just us," Auron interrupted.  "Braska married into the Al Bhed."  He paused.  "And not just any Al Bhed.  Raenn was the sister of Cid, leader of the Al Bhed tribe.  It was seen by many in the Church as the greatest of betrayals."

This news made Jecht stumble to a stop.  "Wait, doesn't that make Blondie here like a princess or somethin'?"

Rikku tripped over air and bit back a laugh.  "Are you for real?" she managed, wiping at her eyes.  "We don't pass down leadership, that's dumb!  Every tribe votes in whoever they want, and the tribe that yells the loudest usually gets the reins."  She pointed to herself.  "My family's been in the running for years because we've always been really good at tinkering.  But saying we rule the Al Bhed would be like saying the wind rules the desert.  All Cid really does is bluster at a whole bunch of grains of sand and hope they move in the same direction."  

She didn't add in that as Cid's daughter, one of the foremost synthesists in the world and companion to the vanquisher of both Sin and Vegnagun, many people had actually taken up to calling her just that, _"the Al Bhed Princess."_  It was a nickname that didn’t carry any social weight, and it was also one she didn’t particularly appreciate, as it came with a whole lot of ribbing around the friends who knew her best.   _Damn Gippal and his catchy pet names._

Braska nodded in agreement.  "Yes, those who have been amongst your people know this.  The Al Bhed detest following authority, even within their ranks.  It is rare, however, for someone raised within the strict structure of the Church to grasp, let alone understand their unique, chaotic concept of self-rule."  

He stopped as they reached the foot of the stairs leading to the temple doors, eyeing them pensively.  The usual honor guards stationed there had been forgone in the wake of Sin's attack; besides, an entire encampment of soldiers now stood directly before the temple itself.  A few nuns bustled in and out of the stone building, but they all seemed busy trying to control the damage wrought by Sin and paid little attention to the summoner's party.  

"I may as well have declared open war on Yevon with my actions.  It is a wonder they allowed me to stay in Bevelle as it is," Braska finished, avoiding the curious gaze of a passing nun.

"Huh."  Jecht rubbed his chin.  "But what about you?"  He directed his question at Auron this time.

Auron stilled, his jaw working for a moment as he tried to address Jecht's question.  "It isn't that simple."  

Rikku reached out, touching his arm, and he flinched away from her.  Bits and pieces, she knew the official version of The Legendary Guardian Auron's story as well as any other Spiran.  The warrior-monk who rose to greatness within the Church, and then used that greatness to propel Braska to become the Champion of Yevon, rather than settling for the title of a Maester for himself.  He, alone among the Guardians of recent memory, had lived to tell the tale of the High Summoner's Pilgrimage.

 _Well,_ Rikku thought to herself.   _We all know how accurate Yevon's revisions of history are._  Still, curiosity was consuming her; Tidus hadn't shared much about Auron when they were together, and the man himself had only talked about his past when push came to shove.  Typically only when other overpowered Unsent like Seymour or Yunalesca were doing the shoving, at that.

Determined, she reached out and grasped his arm again.  "Come on, Auron.  It helps, letting those secrets out to your friends."  She smiled at him, and his posture softened as he gave her a miniscule nod.

"To understand their hatred, you must understand what the warrior-monks are," Auron began, facing the small tent-barracks built before the temple.  "For many years, there was open warfare between the Church of Yevon and the Al Bhed.  Defending the people from Sin has always been the primary reason for the existence of the crusaders, but the warrior-monks were established to enforce the teachings of Yevon to the wider world.  By whatever means necessary."

"Uh-huh, so them crusaders are like the cops, but them monks are like the army, right?" Jecht gestured at the groups of soldiers scuttling about.

Auron’s eyes grew clouded.  He unhitched his sword and sat on the steps, his body sagging.  

Rikku could barely contain her shock; she could see Braska in a similar state.  Auron the proud, Auron the stoic – he never bowed, he never stopped, he never rested.  But for all intents and purposes, he seemed to have melted onto the roughly hewn stone steps.  He looked… like his older self in that moment, Rikku realized.  Exhausted.  Both powered and weighted by the force of his regrets.

"The crusaders are the hope of the people.  The dreams of the young, the idealistic.  They're just children, some of them."  He clasped his hands together and leaned forward onto his knees, gazing over the soldiers milling about their camp.  "They were folded into the arms of Yevon long ago, but only after their leader, Lord Mi'ihen, proved their worth to the Church.  It had been a struggle, won by the humility and heroism of one lone man.  That struggle and heroism appeals to the youth of today, much more than the strict mores of the nuns and the warrior-monks.  The crusaders have attracted the more _independent_ members of Yevon's faithful in recent times.  This new idealism has once again put them at odds with the Maesters."

Only Braska seemed to have any idea of what Auron was speaking of; Rikku watched cluelessly as Braska sat, albeit with more grace, next to Auron and placed a hand on his shoulder.  "You can't protect everyone, Auron," he said.  "Are you not the one who told me to choose my battles?"

Auron smiled wryly and dropped his forehead against his clasped hands.  "And look at the choice you have made."

Braska squeezed his shoulder and released it.  "My choices were never your burden to carry, my friend."

Gathering himself, Auron looked up from his seat towards Jecht.  "I was initiated into the order of the warrior-monks at the age of thirteen.  It had been my whole life.  The monks do not look kindly upon… _idealism._ "  His gaze cut over to Rikku, and she nodded in understanding.  Every Al Bhed knew the blind, vicious devotion to Yevon carried by the warrior-monks.  Fanaticism was an integral part of their training.  It was what made them so good at killing – especially the things that _weren't_ fiends.  It was a lesson no Al Bhed community had managed to escape learning during the wars; the monks had even assisted Seymour in the destruction of her own Home.

"It wasn't until I met Braska that my own opinions began to soften," he continued.  "Until then, I was merely an unquestioning tool of Yevon.  A well-honed blade in the service of Church.  When Braska became a missionary, I was appointed as his bodyguard for several reasons.  My skill, my good standing within the monks, and the understanding that if Braska's mission of outreach to the Al Bhed failed, I would provide the Church with a simpler method of _saving_ them."  He fingered the hilt of his sword and avoided looking at Rikku.

A numb silence settled in Rikku's mind.   _Auron?  An assassin?  A spy?  Both?  Was he sent to find Home or kill my father?  Or maybe kill all of us, Keyakku and Brother and me too?_  Her stomach flip-flopped as she processed the information.  She wouldn't have put it past Mika to issue a kill order on Cid's entire family, but the fact that Auron hadn't freaked out about the revelation of her real name gave her some hope.  Maybe Yevon wasn't always in the business of killing children.  Then again, Yunie had only been seventeen when she started her Pilgrimage, and Pacce couldn't have been more than ten years old despite being Isaaru's "Guardian."

"Obviously, I failed," he finished.

"I wouldn't call your decision a failure," Braska corrected him, and Rikku found her head bobbing in agreement.  Auron still avoided her gaze though, and her heart clenched.

 _That stupid man,_ she thought, though it was devoid of any true anger.  Only Auron could master the art of self-flagellation for choosing to be something other than a Yevonite dirtbag.

Auron spread his hands, his features descending into a hardening scowl as he glared at the small encampment spread before them.  "Even afterwards, I was still offered a chance.  They needed someone to rein in the crusaders.  The idealists.  A firm hand to guide them away from those beliefs conflicting with Mika's grand vision.  All it would take to prove my loyalty was one arranged marriage."

" _The priest's daughter!"_ Rikku blurted out, remembering their first conversation in the dungeons of Bevelle.  "Braska said you had to marry a priest's daughter."  Auron stiffened even further at her exclamation.  Her nose scrunched as she thought about it.  "But how would that prove anything?"

Braska smiled humorlessly.  "Why, Rikku, it would have proven both his loyalty to the will of the Maesters and his trustworthiness to the idealism of the crusaders.  Auron would have made them a perfect leader, uniting diversity within the folds of Yevon.  No one would have questioned his rule as a fair and unbiased source.  A new Lord Mi'ihen for the faithful."

 _So that was their plan,_ Rikku mused to herself.  It still worked, in the end; " _Legendary Guardian Auron"_ was just as big of a lure for the ranks of the Yevonites as " _Neo Lord Mi'ihen"_ might have been.  She imagined she could hear the sound of Auron's teeth grinding together as his jaw worked.  

"I left everything to Kinoc.  The crusaders, the monks.  He'll have control of them all one day, the poor bastards.  Sometime I wonder if it was worth it," he spat out.

"Hold up now, I still don't get it," Jecht said.  "Why couldn't you just suck it up and marry that girl, if you still care so much about them monks and crusader kids?  I mean I get it, you're buddies with Braska, and you've got Blondie _now,_ but you still gave up all that fame and fortune – " here, he gestured at the troops, " – for this?  What was wrong with her?"

And then all the pieces clicked into horrible place as Braska gave Auron another pat on his shoulder.  "Nothing.  Nothing at all.  She is perfect in every way.  Still, I have to admit that I am thankful for Auron's decision.  I only wish for Yuna to be able to choose her own path in this world someday."

The shocked silence lasted for a few moments before Jecht exploded.  " _She's only_ **_seven!_ ** " he roared, drawing the gaze of several soldiers.  "How could they even – !"

Auron stood up and grabbed his sword, swinging it onto his back with a violent jerk and silencing Jecht's outburst.  "She's half Al Bhed and the daughter of a priest.  In the eyes of Yevon, she is merely a point to be made in an argument that has spanned generations."  He paused and glared at Rikku.  "And yes, the irony of it now does not escape me."

"Auron…" Rikku bit her lip, unable to offer anything more.

"Enough," he ground out.  "We're here for the Fayth, not my life story."  With that, he turned and marched up the steps, silent and angry once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16. There were actually very few corrections to this chapter, and only grammatical at that. GO ME hoo yah!


	30. Trial By Lightning

Cool air washed over Rikku as they entered the darkened antechamber of the temple.  Tall, solemn statues stood vigil around the entrance to the Cloister of Trials, silently judging the group gathered before them.  She shivered, pulling her cloak tighter around her body.  It was her first time inside of Djose Temple, at least while it was still a temple.  Converted as it was in the future into the base of the Machine Faction, Rikku had graced the halls frequently.  By then, however, anger at the Church as well as the practical study of the machina there had ensured that its new Al Bhed residents had stripped the temple completely.  It was barely recognizable to her in its original state; the difference in times was striking.  Gone was the familiar warmth, crackling noise and unique oil-metal-and-sweat scent of the always-bustling camp orchestrated by Gippal and his minions.  In its place lonely silence kept guard.

Her eyes settled on the grand pedestal before the Cloister, where a tall, cold-faced statue of a woman stood, larger and more weathered than the others surrounding it.  Another unknown face to her, a High Summoner from times long past – perhaps a Champion of Djose once.  The woman's story was forgotten to the passing of time, remembered only in the musty history books recorded by Yevon's priests and in her solemn gaze over the barren floor.

"That is the Lady Farron."  Braska's hushed voice brushed against her ears as he came to stand beside her.  Naturally, he of all people would know exactly who this bleak, anonymous figure represented.  "Has she caught your interest?"

Rikku pushed the hood of her cloak away and tugged at a braid of hair, her eyes still trained on the statue.  "I don't know anything about her," she admitted.  "Except that it's a big statue, so she must've been a High Summoner.  She did this, she made the same journey we are.  She overcame all of the obstacles facing her and defeated Sin once.  And I still don't know a single thing about her story."  Her words echoed through the nearly-empty temple.

"She may be gone, but her sacrifice was never forgotten," Braska countered.  "Lady Farron conquered Sin over eight hundred years ago.  She helped pave the path we summoners still walk, even today."

Rikku brought her arms around herself and gripped her elbows.  "She looks sad."

"But she brought the world happiness, for a time."  Braska shifted, and Rikku recognized the minute movement for what it was: discomfort.  His words and his face never gave anything away, but even he couldn't completely mask the struggle that came with choosing a summoner's sacrificial path.  His restlessness in the serenity of the temple was more than enough of a tell.   Uneasy, Braska moved away from her, and she squinted upwards into the sculpture's face.

The anger at the Church in Rikku's own era had not spared many of the temples, including the High Summoners' statues.  The way Braska still struggled with himself over the Pilgrimage pulled at her, even knowing that he would become the catalyst for Spira's change through his own journey.  The broken stone and chipped faces from her own memories only added to her torn feelings.  Had all of those long-ago sacrifices been so carelessly discarded, forgotten in the bright new world of the future?

For the first time Rikku felt a twinge of regret for what the Machine Faction had done to Djose Temple.  Her love for Yevon certainly hadn't grown over the course of this Pilgrimage, but her conscience tugged at her for the needless desecration all the same.  The High Summoners were once just like Braska, sacrificing everything in order to instill the world with what they believed was real hope.  They too were victims, just as much as the misled masses of the faithful.  They hadn't deserved her anger.

Surprised, Rikku was finally able understand how Baralai's New Yevon faction managed to obtain a foothold of power at the start of the Eternal Calm.  That had always been incomprehensible to her during time with the Gullwings; she had always wondered who could accept that there had been anything good in Yevon's thousand-year-old cycle of lies and death.  Now, however, standing in the gravitas of a temple which would ultimately be lost to Spira's mad rush for change, nothing seemed as clear-cut as it had anymore.  No matter how false the teachings had been, sometimes there were _more_ reasons to hold on to the past.

And not all of the summoners’ statues had suffered the same fate, after all; no one dared deface a statue of High Summoner Braska while Yuna was still alive.  Lady Farron, too, had been spared destruction at the hands of the Al Bhed.  But she wound up forgotten, Rikku knew.  In a few short years, the statue of the woman before her would crumble and disappear, only to be moulded into the face of Braska himself, the new Champion of Djose.

_Let those dark thoughts go,_ Rikku chastised herself and hurried to catch up with the others.   Auron was speaking with the priest standing before the doors of the Cloister, while Jecht and Braska held back.  "Are we good?" she asked, rubbing her arms to ward off the chill brought about from her morose introspection.

Jecht nodded at Auron, who was making his way back towards them.  "Looks like it.  Say, ya got any tips for us?  You're the best at solving all them crazy puzzles they throw at us.  Or are ya gonna sit this one out too?"

Rikku shook her head, pulling herself together.  "I'm with you this time," she declared, winning a smile from Braska.

"Then let us begin."  Braska swept through the rumbling doors which opened before them.  With a sense of building excitement, they trudged into…

… an even _smaller_ antechamber than before.  The doors sealed shut with an ominous thud, and soon the only light in the room was the dim glow filtering in from two spheres embedded into the walls.  A low buzzing sound filled the room; Rikku recognized it as the hum of electricity powering up and waited expectantly.

"This trial supposed to be about seein' in the dark?" Jecht asked after a few moments, when nothing else happened.

"Maybe we have to do something to the spheres?" Rikku guessed, throwing her arms out and flailing her way towards one of the glowing walls.  She gripped a sphere in her hand and yanked it out of its socket, and instantly the room descended into shadows even blacker than before.

"Great idea," floated Jecht's dry answer through the darkness.

Inwardly thanking Lulu for beating into her the most basic black magic lessons ( _"Control, Rikku.  I know this is difficult for you, but you must learn control.  Now hold that flame until the skoll is roasted or there'll be nothing for dinner tonight!"_ ) and whispered the invocation for a Fire spell.   The flame sprang to life in her palm and lent some illumination to the small room.  "Anyone find anything useful?" she asked, raising her arm above her head to spread the light as far as possible.

Auron was already prying the other sphere out of the opposite wall, and Jecht looked on in surprise.  " ‘ey man, what're you doin'?  Ain't you the one always tellin' us to be careful?  Look before you leap into that pit of spikes and all that?"

"We won't get anywhere by standing around waiting for the door to open itself," Auron said.  "So where do we put it?" he asked Rikku without preamble.

"How should I know?  I've never been here before!" she shot back, flushing.   _Maybe I oversold myself in Bevelle._

"You're the tinkerer," he replied with a hint of censure.  "Can't you solve this puzzle?"

"Technically, Braska's the summoner, so he's supposed to be the one to figure this out," Rikku hedged.  "And stop putting me on the spot!  I'm already being our resident human torch!"

"Over here."  Braska's reply saved her.  No one had noticed as he wandered off to study the decorative reliefs carved onto the walls of the chamber; now, he stood before a simplistic render of a stylized horse's head.  

Rikku recognized it as Ixion, but honestly, it looked as though the artists of Djose had been shocked one too many times by the resident aeon while decorating.  If anything, the carving looked more like a deranged goat of some kind than a majestic unicorn.  

"It looks like the nostrils of this sculpture are also sphere sockets," Braska told them.

Jecht let out a hoot as Auron and Rikku both reflexively looked at the spheres in their hands.  They were, of course, colored an unfortunate shade of sickly green.

"Eww…" Rikku said, scrunching up her face as she shoved her sphere into the socket.  "Someone else gets to touch the sphere boogers next time, I pass!"

Auron grunted in faint amusement as he placed his own sphere into the socket next to hers.  "This is a holy sculpture of Djose.  Do you always have to bring things to the lowest common denominator with your crude humor?"

Privately Rikku was glad Auron was unclenching so quickly after revealing his past to them.  It seemed airing his frustration to their small group had actually worked to relieve him of some of his constant tension.  He wasn't even really sniping at Jecht for once despite their close quarters – and the ensuing bad jokes.

"Look, you're gettin' slimed!" Jecht snickered even as Braska shook his head in disbelief.  Of course, now that he'd said it, Rikku couldn't unsee it – the nose of the creature they'd filled with spheres was overflowing and running into two parallel grooves on the floor, filling the room with luminescent "mucus."

"I don't think I'm going to manage to ever see this aeon the same way again," Rikku mumbled as the wall split apart and opened a path deeper into the heart of the temple.  As they entered the next small chamber, she sniggered and found herself agreeing with Jecht for once.  "Oh look, a symbol of Yevon made up out of a pool of snot."  She pointed at the floor.  "If the shoe fits..."

Braska let out another long-suffering sigh and cut her off.  "Might we at least pretend to show a bit of respect?  I haven't won over the Fayth yet."  He stepped forward and eyed the symbol on the floor with a stone pillar rising directly from the center of it.  "It is incomplete.  I suspect we will have to find a way to make all portions of the symbol light up."

"Well, we could all try sneezin' at the same time!"

Three groans rose in unison to Jecht's suggestion, and Auron took charge.  "There's enough light to see here from that sphere in the wall.  Braska, you take the left corridor.  Rikku, you and I will go right.  Jecht, stay here at the symbol and shout if anything changes."

Braska opened his mouth and then shut it, his eyes crinkling in amusement as he glanced between Auron and Rikku.  Shaking his head, he turned off and made his way down the corridor.  Jecht wasn't as blissfully quiet or subtle about the division of duties.

"You got a real soft touch, Auron.  Don't use this as an excuse to play tonsil hockey though!  We'll hear it!"

Rikku tried to cover her cheeks, an automatic reaction to hide the embarrassment splashing across her face.  Her flush only deepened as Auron's hand shot out and caught her palm, preventing her from burning half of her face off.  With a surprised yelp, she shook out the flame, releasing control of her Fire spell.  Then she glared at Jecht, who was smirking at both of them.  "Real funny big guy!"

She turned to Auron, mouth open to complain, and shut her jaw with a click as Auron's hand came up to graze her cheek.  "Are you hurt?" he asked, his eyes roving across her face.  He seemed completely unaffected by Jecht's exaggerated coo in the background.  All Rikku could do was mutely shake her head, her "Nu-uh" coming out as more of a squeak than a whisper.  He spent another moment searching – or maybe just judging, because who could tell with Auron – before he released her with a nod and turned down the corridor.  "Coming?" he asked without looking back.

Rikku recovered from her daze quickly enough to turn to Jecht and point at him with one finger.  "Not a word! Not ONE SINGLE WORD," she warned, before running after Auron.

Jecht only shook his head, still chuckling to himself. "You guys just make it too damn easy."

**.x.x.x.**

The rune puzzle was fairly easy to decipher in the end, although the unexpected bottomless pit of CRACKLY LIGHTNING DEATH, as Rikku liked to call it, had been an unpleasant surprise.  Still, they’d easily unlocked the final staircase leading towards the Chamber of the Fayth, and she even managed to hand off the destruction sphere they'd unearthed to Auron without Braska taking notice.

Now, gathered before the closed chamber, Rikku marvelled at the difference she felt from the other temples.  The deep bass of Djose's Hymn swirled around them, soothing and comforting  now that she finally allowed herself to accept its beauty.  There was no pressing desire to crash Braska's communion with the Fayth.  Most likely not by coincidence, she had also yet to feel an uncontrollable urge to seize up in front of the others while foaming at the mouth.  In fact if anything, the atmosphere in the temple felt… relaxed, for once.  Crossing her arms over her head, Rikku found a smile bubbling up when she faced Braska.  "Good luck in there!"  She actually meant it.

Braska nodded in acknowledgement, but hesitated.  "I do have one small request to make of each of you before I begin my prayers," he told them.

Auron stood at attention, and Rikku lined up next to Jecht behind him.  "Anything, my lord."

Braska's smile widened at the sight.  "Cooperation between my Guardians.  I could get used to this," he mused.

"Don't hold your breath.  It'll only last a minute and thirty-seven seconds," Rikku shot back with a wink, earning herself another grin.

"My favor will require a bit longer than that I fear," he replied.  "But it is nothing taxing.  I merely ask that you wait for me outside.  I want all of you to be able to witness the true face of Djose if I am successful."

"When," Auron corrected him.  "Are you sure?  You're always weakened after praying to the Fayth.  I could remain behind and – "

Braska declined with a firm shake of his head.  "No, Auron.  I think all of you have earned a chance to see this.  Djose Temple opens only rarely, and only in the presence of a successful summoner.  It is the least I can do to repay all of you for the support you have given me so far."  Rolling his hands together, he performed the traditional bow to all three of them and straightened.  "Now, off you go.  I will do my best!"

With only a token grumble of protest, Auron herded them towards the steps.  As soon as Braska disappeared behind the closing doors, Rikku drew them back.  "Wait a minute!  Have you still got the goods?" she asked Auron.

Jecht stopped stared at her.  "Goods?  What're ya talkin' about?  Those glowin' snotballs?"

"Sorta," Rikku hedged, and nudged Auron's boot with her toe.  With a sigh, he reached into his coat and pulled out the destruction sphere he'd hidden there.

"Whoa!" Jecht said, the jokes leaving him as the sphere's aura visibly dampened the room.  “The hell is that?"

"We're not sure," Rikku said, "but I think we don't really wanna know.  What I _do_ know is that it blows things up, though!"

"It's a bomb?" Jecht yelped, withdrawing his questing finger almost as quickly as he'd pointed it to poke the offending object.

"A bomb that landed you your sword," Rikku corrected.  "The first one made the path that led to the treasure chest holding it."  She raised a fist and danced in place, her old sphere-hunting senses taking over. _Wherever there's treasure, there's a Gullwing!_  "Who knows what we'll find with this one!"

"I'd sooner get rid of it as well," Auron noted, approaching the lone platform with the sphere socket.  "This thing makes my skin crawl."  He slotted it in, and they watched as a sickly pink line of energy lit up and raced away from the platform and towards one of the far walls.  There was a loud bang, and then a small cloud of dust rose up from the corner of the stairwell.

"I'm not paying for that," Rikku said immediately.

"What they don't know won't hurt them," Auron replied, moving towards the debris as the dust cleared.  As expected, a chest lay behind the ruined stone panel, and Rikku rubbed her hands together in anticipation while Auron cracked it open.  Then he paused, a look of confusion on his face.

"Oh come on!  What is it?  Another sword?" she asked, hopping from foot to foot.

"Or a magic warrior blitzball?" Jecht cut in more hopefully.

"I'm not sure," he said, pulling the item out of the chest and standing.  "I think it's a glove.  Or a shield of some kind."  He turned around and held the object out towards them, and Rikku felt her world narrow down to the weapon in his hand.  She covered her mouth and choked back a sob.

"Rikku?"

A tear really did escape her as she rushed forward and wrenched it out of Auron's loose grip, cradling it to her chest.

_My friend!  I thought I lost you forever after we beat Sin – !_

The Godhand she clutched almost felt as if it was warming and purring in response to her silent greeting.  It had slipped from her grasp after that final, gruelling battle within the bowels of Sin, much like the Celestial Weapons of the others.  With all of the pyreflies floating around from bursting Aeons, Aurons and Tiduses, none of them had truly cared that their weapons had also deemed their jobs done.  It didn't stop Rikku from sorely missing hers, though.  The Celestial Weapons had almost seemed alive back then, merely dormant until wakened with the power of the crests and sigils tuned to their natures.  It was just as well that time seemed to flow fluidly in any direction for the weapon itself; it responded eagerly to her touch, still thrumming with the full measure of magic they'd worked so hard to unlock during Yuna's Pilgrimage.  "I missed you," she whispered to it, stroking the metal.

"Man, chicks and their obsession with accessories," Jecht said as he eyed her.  Auron was less irreverent about the find; he recognized the Godhand as one of the legendary Celestial Weapons, even if he didn't know what it was or why it had bonded to Rikku.

"An explanation?" he demanded, though not unkindly.  "Is that what I think it is?"

Rikku nodded, drying her tears and slipping the familiar weapon over her forearm.  She felt complete as she did so, as if she'd been travelling naked all this time and only realized it in that moment.  "It's a brass knuckle and a targe in one," she said after a moment, stretching her arm out and revelling in the feel of it.  "I call it the Godhand."

"It's yours," Auron said, his voice reflecting his surprise.  "That Celestial Weapon chose you?"

Jecht picked up on Auron's interest and was now eyeing the weapon with open curiosity.  "How come it's so different from mine?  Yours is…"  He gestured helplessly at the air, unable to voice what Rikku already knew.  "It's all _magicky_ , right?"

_Alive_ , Rikku amended.  "You have to wake the magic in them to get them to feel this responsive," she explained.  No use holding back, since they were staring at the proof of a wakened Celestial Weapon right on her arm.  "I'm guessing you need to find the Neptune crest to match your sigil."

Jecht whistled under his breath.  "So yours is awake?"

"We managed to activate it during my first Pilgrimage, but it just kinda… disappeared after that ended," she admitted.  Then she fell into her old, familiar low battle crouch, testing the Godhand while rocking back and forth.  She needed to shift her center of balance to familiarize herself with its lone weight on her arm; it was so much heavier than her light twin daggers.  It only took a few short moments, however, to regain the feel of it, like slipping into a comfortable pair of old shoes.  Her already broad smile widened. _I must look like an idiot to those two, rocking on my heels like this!_

Instead, when she straightened and met Auron's eyes, there was a glint to them that hadn't been there moments ago.  It looked suspiciously like approval.  With another small shock, she also realized her defensive style while using the Godhand was actually quite similar to Auron’s.

"It's a bit different from what they taught the monks, but you know the basic form," he noted, mirroring her pose with his own bracer-covered arm.  Of course, Auron didn't slouch and bounce around like a punch-drunk monkey when he guarded, but Rikku was surprised to see he was right.   _Why didn't I ever notice that before?  Too distracted by that huge sword, or maybe the muscles holding it up._

"You are quicker than I.  It's more suited to your style," he mused.  Auron moved closer, still studying the Godhand with avid interest, though he did spare a moment to meet her eyes and quirk his lips upwards.  "Quite the secret to be hiding.  You should have let us know earlier that you could fight."

" _Hey!_  What's that supposed to mean?"  The pleased flush brought about from his flattery was displaced by indignation.  With a scowl that matched Auron's rising humor, she realized he was baiting her.   _Well, it’s working_ , she admitted with a sulk.   _Poop head!_  "I've been pulling my weight just fine with my daggers!  Excuse you!"

Jecht sniggered.

Rikku blinked, becoming aware of how close she and Auron were standing, matching stares as he challenged her.  He'd pressed himself so near to her that she could feel his breath on her lips and the warmth of his skin.  That immediately lit up an interesting avenue of thought that had her own eyebrows lifting in surprise. _Hmm.  So Auron_ **_like-_** _likes it when we talk shop about fighting, huh?_  Now _that_ had possibilities.  Still, having Jecht cheer them on as an observer in the background pretty much killed the moment, and she stepped back.

"I told you, he's a smooth operator," Jecht repeated, holding up his hand for a high-five with Auron that was pointedly ignored.

"Come on," Auron told them.  "If Braska wants us to be outside the temple when he addresses the Fayth, then we need to be there."  They made their way down the steps and outdoors once more, and even the presence of the crusaders and monks milling around wasn't enough to dampen Rikku's spirits.

It did have a sobering effect on Auron, though, who eyed the sudden flurry of activity within the camp suspiciously.  "Something's happening – "  He cut off as the ground began to tremble under their feet.

"Whoa!" Jecht yelled, windmilling his arms to keep his balance.  "Is Sin attackin' us again?"

"Not quite," Rikku said, a knowing smile passing over her face.  The Machine Faction liked to keep the temple permanently fired up with their equipment, but there was something to be said for seeing a summoner do it on his own.  "Look up, guys!"

Even the bustling monks and crusaders paused as a huge beam of electricity flew out from the apex of the rocky temple.  A low whine and a rumble was the only warning before the rocks themselves flew apart, exploding into huge, gravity-defying chunks that rotated slowly around the now-exposed man-made temple.  

"He did it!  Braska got the aeon!" Rikku cheered, picking herself up off the ground and dancing despite the quakes.

"It was never a question," Auron replied.  Still, his deceptive tone did nothing to disguise the incredulous stare he was directing towards the spinning boulders floating overhead; clearly he'd never witnessed Djose Temple blooming with his own eyes.

"Whoa..." was all Jecht could manage, his jaw hanging loose.

After a short while, the tremors subsided and the rocks descended towards the temple, sealing it in its dormant state.

"I guess that's our cue," Rikku began, but snapped her mouth closed as a uniformed monk brushed by her, entirely too close for comfort.  Her skin crawled when she realized just who had done the brushing as he removed his helmet.

Auron, always quick to recover, noted the intrusion with displeasure.  All of the tension they'd managed to dissolve with their sojourn inside of the Temple made a swift reappearance.

"Wen," he bit out, performing the obligatory bow.  His sharp eyes never left the other man's face.

"Auron.  Good to see you around, though I'm a little surprised that those two are still with you."  Kinoc's gaze shifted towards Rikku and a slow grin formed.  "Or have you finally seen the wisdom in taking my advice?"  He leered at her.  "Hello again, sweet thing."

Rikku skipped backwards, scowling at Kinoc, and didn't protest when she bumped into Jecht.

"That the problem you were havin' in the camp earlier?"  At Rikku's nod, he cracked his neck aggressively and thudded a menacing fist into his palm as a greeting.

"To what do we owe this pleasure Wen?" Auron interrupted brusquely.  "As you can see, Lord Braska has completed his task.  We must to return to his side."

Kinoc directed his oily smile towards Auron, folding his arms behind his back.  "Far be it from me to keep a _Guardian_ from his duties," he offered, though the way he drew out the word made it sound more like an insult.  "I'm afraid, however, that I find myself in need of your help."

Auron snorted.  "You have your men for that."

"Yes, I do."  Kinoc's easy smile dropped from his face, shadowed by something darker.  Then the smile returned, albeit smaller and colder than before.  "But come now, is that the way to treat an old friend?  You _do_ still owe me after all," he added, this time looking at Rikku with no hint of amusement.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Rikku spat out, finding her backbone.  She wasn't in prison anymore, and the Godhand thrummed comfortingly on her arm.  She narrowed her eyes at Kinoc's scornful laugh.

"Relax, I've no use for the likes of you," Kinoc answered, dismissing both her and Jecht from his mind as if they were no more than trash under his steel-toed boots.  "I only need **you** for this for this mission, Auron."

Auron grunted, his face giving away nothing as he looked at his companions, and Rikku cringed.

_Don't do it, Auron.  Don't listen to him!  You're with us now, you don't have to take this guy on alone!  Leave your past where it belongs, in the dust!_  She tried to convey her thoughts with her expression, wishing she still had her Psychic dressphere around.

"I'll go," Auron ground out, and Rikku sagged in defeat as Jecht let out a yell of protest.  She straightened again at his next words, though.

"But I won't go alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16: fixed a minor error concerning the type of weapon the Godhand is.


	31. The Caterpillar's Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.” – George Carlin

Mushroom Rock Road was as unsightly as ever – nothing seemed to be able to change the odd, bare path by the sea.  Its austerity belied the fact that it was one of the bloodiest coastlines in the world.  It had survived the Great Machina War, weathered countless attacks by Sin, and stood through battles between Spira’s opposing factions.  Now, it was host to an unlikely group of Guardians and their outcast Summoner rushing to meet an unknown purpose for the very Church that had scorned them.

“I’m ridin’ a giant, oversized chicken,” was Jecht’s contribution to this historic moment.

“Chocobo, Jecht!” Rikku corrected him.  His mount let out a loud wark of agreement.

“Whatever!”  He spat out a tuft of downy feathers that had flown into his mouth.  “What’re we doin’ here anyway?  And why haven’t we travelled by chocobo before?  This is _awesome!_ ”  Though it was his first time on the giant birds, his athlete’s reflexes were serving him well; Jecht had taken to chocobo riding as easily as he played Blitzball.

Braska pulled up alongside them, also doing exceptionally well.  It was rather impressive that he could stay seated, considering how much of his outfit was flapping in the wind.  He had chosen to forgo his feathered helmet for the ride, however, and Rikku was distracted by the sight of his braid whipping out behind him.  It reminded her of Yuna’s own braid, which she refused to trim.  Did _everyone_ in Yuna’s family have a thing for excessively long hair?

“Chocobos are too expensive for us to rent,” Braska shouted at them, bringing her back to the present.  “These steeds are on loan from the Chocobo Knights themselves!”

 _Courtesy of one Wen Kinoc,_ Rikku amended sourly, focusing on the path ahead where the man in question and Auron were racing side-by-side.  They hadn’t been given much of an explanation other than the order to get to the promontory connecting the Mi’ihen Highroad with Djose as quickly as possible.  

But even without any knowledge of what they were rushing towards, Rikku couldn’t find herself complaining.  The loaned chocobos were shaving time off of their journey.  Better yet, they gave her an excuse to breeze by the Den of Woe without having to think about Shuyin’s presence there, still trapped as an angry spirit.

  
“It’d be nice to know what kind of doom and gloom we’re running towards this time,” she did add, loudly enough for her companions to hear.  She reined in her chocobo when Kinoc and Auron slowed down; the road was giving way to a steep incline, over which the faint sounds of battle could be heard.  As if to answer to her own question, bile rose in her throat and a queasy wave of familiarity washed over her.   _Oh, poopie._

“Sinspawn,” Braska ground out, donning his helmet and collecting his staff.  “This aura isn’t strong enough to be Sin itself.  We must try to help the people here!”

Auron turned his chocobo across the path, forcing everyone behind him to come to an abrupt halt.  Jecht yelled and slid off his saddle, landing with a thump next to his mount.

“Wen!”  Auron dismounted, and Braska and Rikku followed suit.  “Why did you bring us here?    Sinspawn are no reason to interrupt a Pilgrimage.”

“Sin _is_ the reason for the Pilgrimage,” Braska interjected.  “We need to stand and fight!”  

While Rikku agreed with the sentiment, the sudden fervor in Braska’s tone gave her pause.  The last time he had felt that strongly about standing his ground, Jecht had ended up unconscious and scarred.  Auron, too, seemed to remember, and met Braska’s deep frown with an unwavering glare.  It was the summoner who had to look away first.

Kinoc nudged his steed back, unconcerned with the screams and discordant ring of metal surrounding them.  “Haven’t you guessed?”  He pulled his armored chocobo to a halt, pacing in place without bothering to dismount.  “We’re trying to defend the pass towards the Highroad.  Sin’s attack hasn’t stopped just because your Pilgrimage did.”

Jecht picked himself up off the ground and joined them, cracking his knuckles together.  “Well, we’ve fought these guys before.  If it has more than two legs we pound it, right?”

“Or less,” Rikku agreed, flexing her fingers within the comforting grip of her Godhand.

Auron cut them off again, regarding Kinoc with open suspicion.  “The warrior-monks have been trained for this.  What more could I add to that?”

“Auron!”  Braska’s tone was sharp.  “A summoner could turn the tide in a battle against Sin!”

“He didn’t ask for you,” Auron replied shortly, and Rikku winced.  

 _Ouch._  Auron wasn’t going to bother sparing anyone’s feelings today, especially with the battle right on top of them.

Kinoc’s snort of agreement didn’t help, and Rikku felt a little sorry for Braska.  The summoner’s knuckles had whitened around the grip of his staff and his expression was pinched.  Leaning in, she grabbed his elbow.  “Just ignore Kinoc,” she whispered.  “If you could power aeons with stupidity, he’d be a High Summoner.”

Braska let out an unexpected bark of laughter, quickly smothered, then met her eyes and nodded.  They turned their attention back towards Kinoc, who was still addressing Auron as if he was the leader of their small entourage.

“The monks are assigned to protect the temples, not the settlements.  I’d have thought you’d feel a little more strongly about this, considering the arguments you’ve always made about defending Luca.”  He flashed Auron a challenging smile, all teeth and no warmth.  “If we don’t stop Sin’s charge here, the fiends will swarm Luca.  Or is Blitzball finally starting to lose its charm?”

Sucking in his breath, Auron’s face hardened.  “The crusaders?  That’s all you’ve sent?  Was it even a full company?”  His jaw worked as he fixed his furious stare onto Kinoc.  “Think of the civilians in Luca, Wen.  Men, women, _children_.  It would be a massacre!”

“Yes, Auron,” Kinoc answered with resignation, drawing his sword and turning his chocobo towards the hill.  “Think of the people, if that spurs you to act.”

Auron drew his sword and rested it on his shoulder.  “ _Bastard!_ ” he spat. “You shame us all!”

Kinoc paused, his posture tense.  He looked back at Auron, eyes hard behind the heavy helmet.  “I’m here, aren’t I?  Now come on.”  He turned away, all pretence of good humor gone.  “You always were my better.”  The admission seemed to be couched more in resentment than entreaty.  Still, Kinoc waited for them to catch up.  “They need you.”

They crested the hill together, and Rikku gasped.  Jecht froze next to her, taking in the sight.  Apart from whatever might have happened in Zanarkand, he’d never seen Sin’s destruction up close; their encounters had mostly been against sinspawn, one-on-one.  Or maybe _some-on-one,_ considering how the fight in Macalania had gone.  The devastation spread before them was new, and sobering.

Fallen crusaders and injured chocobos were splattering the landscape in macabre shades of red.  Those still standing were battling the swarm of black, shelled creatures invading the shore.  Minor sinspawn, deadly because of their sheer numbers.  

A few of the fiends which had broken through were tearing apart corpses with their mandibles, and Rikku covered her mouth to suppress a gag.  For every one of the beetle-like fiends the crusaders felled, three more were scrabbling up the rocky cliffside.  The forces were holding, but just barely, as their losses were mounting.

“It’s a goddamn slaughter!”  Jecht grabbed his head in disbelief.  “What’re we supposed to do about that?”  He formed his fingers into a box, scanning one of the sinspawn before them.  “Weak to Thunder and those shells give ‘em a good defense!  Water’ll heal them!”

Braska twirled his staff, beginning the dance to summon, but Auron raised his hand to stop him.

“Wait!”  Narrowing his eyes, he scanned the seabed.  “They’re coming from somewhere out there.  Chop off the head before you dispose of the body.”  A moment passed, and then he pointed towards an unnatural swell rising from the ocean.  “There.”

Rikku watched the lump quiver, breaking the surface to reveal an undulating spherical mass of glistening scales.  Two webbed wings lifted it briefly out of the water before it dove back into the sea.

“That thing is _ginormous!_ ” she screamed, choking on the wave of noxious toxin its short rise had released.  It was the largest offshoot of Sin she’d ever seen in her life.  Despite its terror-inducing size, it was still too far out to be attacked directly.  

Even at that range it was powerful enough to shoot pods of pulsing sinspawn towards the shore.  Some of them were hatching in mid-air, crashing into the cliffside before exploding into pyreflies from the fury of the impact.

“Magic users to me!  Surround the summoner!  Everyone else, form a line on  the path,” Auron ordered.  “Concentrate on eliminating the smaller fiends before they can spread inland.”  Kinoc, used to Auron’s battleside manner, took off at a gallop, directing the regrouping of the soldiers.

Turning to Braska, Auron made a sweeping gesture with his sword.  “Defend the shoreline.  We’ll need your aeon to hold the off the ones that make it out of the water.  You heard Jecht; take the summon from Djose.”  He glanced at Rikku.  “You, too.  Cast from here.  Don’t bother aiming, just hit the water,” he told them, pointing towards the ocean.  “Jecht, you and I look after Braska.”  He raised his voice, thundering over the noise of the soldiers taking defensive positions around them.  “Don’t hold anything back!  We hold this line or Luca falls!”

 _He’s a natural at this,_ Rikku marvelled.  He’d always been gruff during Yuna’s Pilgrimage, but _this_ – the imposing sureness of presence radiating from him – had all but disappeared, withdrawn into the depths of the bitter, reclusive shell of his older self.  That lack of initiative had been a loss for Yuna’s party.

Braska had already restarted his dance, gravitational energy pooling as pillars of lightning arced down from the sky and scorched the ground in a perfect circle around him.  

 _Heck of a way to break in a new summon_ , Rikku thought with some sympathy.  

Braska grunted and pulled Ixion from the rune that bloomed in the sky.  He fell to one knee, staff raised as the Rapture overtook his body.  The huge, shaggy unicorn reared upwards with a fierce scream before stampeding towards the cliffside.  Rikku threw her arms out for balance; the ground quaked under the aeon’s massive hooves in an eerie parallel to the blooming of Djose Temple.

The magic-wielding soldiers began to tighten into a living shield around Braska.  Bursts of Fire and Thunder magic punctuated the chaos as they tried to hold back the fiends hounding the regrouping crusaders.  

Rikku cut away from her companions and joined the ring of magic users, facing the sea.  Her stomach roiled and she tried to ignore just how _Al Bhed_ she looked among the ranks of Yevon’s uniformed soldiers.  _Did I sign up for this?_

Bouncing in place, she wished Yuna and Paine were there.  Even the hardest battles seemed easier with the other two girls by her side, making their ludicrous battle pose in the face of danger.  _I can do this,_ she chanted to herself.  Out of habit she raised her voice towards the incoming tide of fiends, lifting the Godhand defiantly at them.  “What time?”

“Showtime!” Jecht yelled back, attacking the closest fiend.  Rikku sputtered and let out a wild laugh. _I_ **_can_ ** _do this_.  And then, even though no one would possibly _get it_ , she rallied with a wide grin and finished the Gullwing battle cheer.  “Doctor A is in the house!”

An amused snort sounded next to her, despite the fact that Auron was aiming at a fiend, mid-swing.  “If you have time to pose, you have time to cast,” was all he said.

Rows of glinting shells boiled over the cliffside, held back now only by Ixion’s vicious jabs of lightning and razor-sharp hooves.  Channelling her inner Lulu, Rikku opened herself to the power of the Conflagration grid.  The arcane words flew from her lips as she stretched out her hands, releasing the Thundaga spell.  Lightning smashed the sea, cracking through the violent eddies stirred to life by the fiends.  Odd flashes of light and color bubbled below the surface of the water, like a magical depth charge.  The soldiers around her took the cue and soon, the sky was lit up with sharp bursts of lightning striking the ocean in a thick, unnatural storm of magic.

“Alright!” Rikku cheered, but her smile faltered when the flow of fiends continued unabated onto land.  Jecht and Auron were blurs whirling around them, cutting down the approaching spawn to keep the defensive ring of casters intact.

  
“Again!” Auron yelled as he split one of the creature’s shells.

Reaching into herself, Rikku pulled out the spell, sending it hurtling towards the sea.  Again the unified storm of magic darkened the sky and the water churned.  And again nothing seemed to happen.  Ixion screamed in frustration, sending a powerful blast of his own towards the water, and charged ocean spray flew upwards in a massive geyser.  Still, the fiends continued to pour out of the ocean.

“ _Again!_ ” Auron roared, and with more than a little desperation, Rikku reached as deeply as she could into her mana reserves and flung out another Thundaga.  The water frothed and crackled, and Jecht let out a loud whoop.  Finally, _finally,_ pyreflies were rising from the violent waves, mixing with foam and sea spray.  Ixion continued to fire electrical blasts from his horn as the tide of sinspawn trickled down to a manageable level.  

The soldiers around Rikku cheered; the fiends still escaping from the sea were more easily dispatched than before, weakened by the spells they’d blasted the water with.  She wasn’t fooled, though; Auron still held himself tense, his face darkening despite the lull in the battle.

Kinoc rejoined them, looking worse for wear but still mounted on his chocobo.  Rikku realized with a start that he had also been providing support to their team; considering the man’s attitude, she’d have thought he’d be as far away from the shoreline as possible, laughing at them as they fell.   _Stranger things have happened,_ she figured, narrowing her eyes at the enigma who’d drawn them into this mess.  

“It can’t be that easy, not even for you,” Kinoc noted.

Auron answered with a grim nod.  “It’s coming,” he warned as the broodmother burst out of the ocean, propelled into the air by its two massive wings.  

Residual lightning crackled around the hull of the main body.  Though it had ceased to fire pods, the massive creature continued its inexorable advance – straight out of a twisted entomophobic’s nightmare.  

Auron grimaced.  “We won’t be able to stop it from making landfall!” he yelled, breaking through the circle to knock Braska out of his Rapture.  In the distance, Ixion screamed in fury and smashed himself against the sinspawn in one last charge, before bursting into pyreflies.

“We need to move to a more defensible position,” Auron said as he scooped the dazed summoner over his shoulder.  “Get to high ground!”

Kinoc was already herding them away.  Anger and indecision warred across Auron’s face as he moved, torn by his duty as a Guardian and his desire to defend the retreating soldiers.  

 _“I won’t allow it to happen again,”_ he had said to her the last time he abandoned Braska.  Rikku swallowed past the fear knocking her knees together.   

_I can’t believe I’m about to do this for a bunch of Yevonites.  Well,_ she justified to herself, _I’m really doing it for Auron, I guess.  Stupid, stupid Auron.  Stupid, stupider Rikku._

“Auron,” she said out loud, surprised that she was able to raise her voice above a whisper.  He paused to look at her, a fierce scowl still drawn across his face.  “Go go go!  I’ll hold things here and buy you guys some time.  Don’t worry, I can take care of myself!”  She gave him a quick victory salute and dashed away before he could answer.

 _Suicide mission alert!  Fall back, fall back!_ Rikku’s mind gabbered as she raced towards the monstrosity rather than away from it.  The mental babbling only quieted down when her feet hit the edge of the cliff, arms windmilling to keep her balance.

Strangely, it was that small, more mundane threat of tripping and falling to her death as opposed to being torn apart by sinspawn that allowed her to collect her racing thoughts.  “There’s no way I can do this alone,” she groaned, her hand hovering over her sphere grid, struggling for a strategy.

“Quit hoggin’ all the glory for yourself,” Jecht answered as he joined her, sword in hand.  “And please tell me you got a plan, other than makin’ your boyfriend mad enough to split that thing in half with his eyes.”  He gestured, and she felt a Haste spell wash over her alongside a tidal wave of relief.   _Thank you, Jecht._  He read her face and gave her a bolstering grin, almost as if they were sharing a secret rather than a deathwish.

“No plan, but I do know we’re gonna need to get lucky,” she answered him, activating her dressphere.  She heard Jecht groan but a soft fog of confidence settled over her mind, soothing her jangling nerves.

Somehow, her Lady Luck sphere had changed again; she felt less capricious and more focused than she had before, snapping her cards around with purpose.  Maybe it wasn’t such a surprise, considering that Jecht himself was, against all odds, standing with her, completely sober and ready to fight to the death for the people in a world he barely even knew.

 _But who needs odds when you have luck on your side?_  Smiling, Rikku threw her cards into the air, sending flower petals cascading around both herself and Jecht.  “A little bit of Felicity can go a long way,” she purred.

Jecht darted around her, slashing at the smaller fiends that were still attempting to overwhelm them.  “Got any way to deal with these small fry before the motherlode hits us?”  He bounced on the balls of his feet, eyes wild.

Rikku assisted him with another round of Thundaga and pursed her lips.  “Maybe.  Do you like gambling?” she asked, holding a palm up before her.

“Anytime you’re ready,” he grunted, charging at another fiend.

“Oh, I’m always ready,” Rikku answered him with a sharkish grin, summoning four dice to her hand.  She blew on them softly and then flung them in a wide arc over her head, her brows narrowing in concentration.  The dice hovered in the air, spinning, and the world seemed to slow down at the same rate of their rotation.  A triumphant smirk graced her face when they stopped, and she flung her hand outwards, fingers spread.  “Double snake eyes.  I win again!”

With a pop, time flew into sluggish motion as every fiend in a wide radius around her spontaneously exploded into a mass of pyreflies.  Jecht let out a low whistle, waving his hand before his eyes as if it could clear them from the thick mist of rapidly dissipating light.

“Nice,” he drawled, keeping an eye on the still-approaching behemoth.  “Think that’ll work on the big one?”

“Sorry, not a chance,” Rikku laughed, her hand moving over her sphere grid and activating another node.  She heard, rather than saw, Jecht’s surprise as she spun on one foot, surrounded by a swirl of light.

“Changin’ again?” he sputtered.  “We really got time for that?”  

She reached out for the weapon materializing over her head.  “Shove it, blitz boy.  I’m out of mana and big ugly’s still getting closer.”  Reaching into her now-bursting Alchemist’s pouch, she let out a long-suffering sigh.  “I wanted to save this for something special,” she groused, before throwing an elixir at Jecht.  “Chug chug!”  She tilted her head with the imperious command, uncapping and downing one as well.  With a loud belch, she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and smashed the vial into the ground, energized.  “ _Rud tysh!_  Now that’s the stuff!”

 _Just in time_ , she noted with a grimace, as the large sinspawn burst into the air directly overhead.  “Ugh!”  She pushed away a wave of nausea as the creature unfurled its massive body.  Writhing tentacles rimmed its sides, lashing the air.  

Rikku’s eyes widened as the fiend prepared to fire on them point-blank from the sinister-looking protrusions on its lower torso.  Her fingers fumbled in her pouch for anything that would help, closing around two vials.

“ _Cred!_  Duck!” she yelled, diving to the side as the sinspawn belched multiple spears of dark energy at them.  Her luck – or maybe it was the Felicity spell – was holding as nothing more than a few strands of her hair were clipped off by the attack.  Turning her dive into a roll, Rikku bared her teeth.  “I like my hair the way it is,” she snarled at the sinspawn, rising to her feet.  Jecht made it away unscathed as well; she watched him leap to slash at one of the offending appendages that had attacked them.  

A cloud of black ichor erupted from the sinspawn in answer, flying onto his face with a wet splat and sending him rolling to the ground, blinded.  Before the creature could put a tentacle through him while he was down, Rikku threw the vials in her hand against the sinspawn’s massive body.  

 _It’s a good thing Braska and Auron haven’t managed to cure me of my ways,_ she smirked as the shattered healing potion dribbled into her pilfered vial of Djose’s holy water.  “Eat that!” she yelled as the agents reacted, exploding into multiple chains of holy energy that staggered the fiend away from the cliffside.  She took the opportunity to run to Jecht’s side, pouring some cleansing drops into his eyes to wash away the viscous black liquid covering them.

Jecht waved her away, grabbing for his sword and blinking.  “Thanks, Blondie,” he muttered, focusing on the spawn that had already recovered from Rikku’s attack with an expression of growing horror.  “At least I’ll see it comin’!”  The angry, towering mass of fiend bore down on them.  

“No way!”  Rikku flattened herself against the ground as the creature unfolded into a long, chittering _flying bug of doom_ and reached for them with its tentacled feet –

The furious roar hit the sinspawn at the same time Bahamut did, sending it flying back several meters over the ocean.  The two creatures began to grapple in earnest, Bahamut trying to push it away from the rocky shore while the spawn wrapped its tentacles around the dragon and attempted to drag it into the water.

Rikku wheezed, ignoring the battle of the titans and digging the heels of her hands into her eyes.  She tried to gather feeling into her fear-numbed legs.  “C’mon, c’mon, get up!” she chanted.  That brush with death had been much too close, and she forced her gasping breaths to slow down until she could sit up again.

Jecht was already standing, though he had planted his sword into the ground and was holding onto it like a crutch.  “Let’s not do that again,” he muttered, whipping his head back and forth.  He noticed Rikku coming shakily to her feet and gave her a sobering nod.  “It ain’t over yet, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” she managed to cough out, grabbing her machine gun.  “Ed’c hajan ujan,” she added under her breath.   _It’s never over._

A triumphant roar redirected her attention to the battle of the giants, just in time to see Bahamut tear the sinspawn’s leathery wings off and push away. The flailing creature dropped into sea like a stone.  

An exceedingly large stone, which Rikku realized spelled bad news for anyone standing near the shore.  A tsunami of water hurtled towards the cliffs, directly where she and Jecht were standing.

She heard Jecht swear under his breath and tighten the grip on his sword as he reached for her arm.  Abandoning her gun, Rikku grabbed onto him with both hands and hung on for dear life, holding her breath as the wave crashed over their heads.  Water battered them from every angle.  Finally, the pressure receded, leaving them soaked and exhausted.

“Let’s not do that again either,” Rikku coughed, spitting out a mouthful of silt-laden water.

“So, there’s good news and there’s bad news,” Jecht answered, pushing his sodden, dripping hair away from his face.

Rikku straightened, wincing at the bruising the wave had inflicted.  “Tell me the good news first!” she whined, dismissing the Alchemist sphere when she realized her summoned machine gun was a total loss.

“Braska’s pet aeon got it to stop flyin’,” Jecht said, pulling his sword out of the ground and sinking into his battle crouch.

“That was the _good_ news?”  Rikku groaned and readied the Godhand, shifting her weight back and forth.  “And?”

“It’s still comin’ for us,” he replied as the first writhing tentacle threw itself over the cliff and smashed into the ground by their feet.

“Nobody told me it was gonna be a marathon!” Rikku screeched, jumping and slashing at the tentacle with her weapon.  She leapt backwards in surprise when it countered with a slash of its own.  “I always suck at those!”  Another tentacle reached over the cliffside, slamming into the ground.

“Better tired than dead,” Jecht huffed, bringing his sword down onto another one.  He danced away from a third and a fourth tentacle, not looking nearly as winded as she felt.  It was more through luck than skill that she dodged the swaying tentacles unharmed.

 _What luck_ , Rikku amended as she felt the Felicity spell fading away.  At least Jecht was already recasting Haste, filling her with enough temporary energy to keep moving.

“It don’t look good,” he muttered when Rikku found herself back-to-back against him.  More writhing tentacles joined their brethren; trying to destroy all of them would be futile.  The appendages weren’t attacking unless Rikku or Jecht struck first, though; instead, they scrabbled for purchase against the rocky ground.  

Her mind raced even as they were surrounded by a living wall of fiend flesh.  “We have to get out of here!” Rikku shouted.  “These are its legs!”

“So?” Jecht groused, swinging his sword back and forth.  “Whaddaya expect me to do?  This ain’t no ochu dance party!”

“If we don’t get out of here _right now_ , we’re gonna be pancakes when it pulls the rest of its body up!” Rikku said, attacking one of the barriers with the Godhand.  A few of the tentacles jerked back, but it was a poor hit; panic made her careless.

 _Focus, Rikku, focus!_ She held the Godhand up in defense, grateful as Jecht deflected the counterattacks she’d provoked.  The weapon on her hand thrummed with untapped power, encouraging her.  _You’ve been on the edge before.  This isn’t new!_  

With a deep, calming breath, she nodded and tightened her grip.  The Celestial Weapon would support her, bad strikes or not.  It seemed to recognize her command, emitting crackles of energy as she sought out a target.

“Look!  Over there, they’re not clustered as tightly,” she yelled to Jecht, pointing.  “If we hit it together we can get outta here!”

“Worth a shot,” Jecht answered her, readying his sword.  “It’s do or die, right?”  Without warning he skipped forward into a salto.  Rikku recognized it as a Blitzball move to gather momentum for a spinning pass.  On solid ground, it was one of Tidus’ desperation moves, the “Spiral Cut.”  Why Tidus felt a need to call out the name of his attacks while performing them was still beyond her.

She raced to catch up with Jecht as he pushed off the ground and made a full body rotation overhead.  His sword came down with a thud into the mass of tentacles at the same time as her Godhand hit them from below.  With a screech, the interlocked appendages drew back enough for Rikku to catch a glimpse of hope.

“It’s not big enough!”  She ignored the the fiend’s counters in favor of thrusting the Godhand into the rapidly shrinking opening.  It was a last ditch attempt to create an escape route; Jecht also wedged his sword through the gap and grunted with the effort of prying it wider.

They both fell back in surprise when a golden talon burst through from the opposite side, ripping the tentacles apart.  Rikku sprinted through the opening the aeon provided, Jecht right behind her.  Bahamut roared, grappling with the fiend.

“Maybe we should call it a day,” Rikku croaked as she stumbled to a stop.  Fishing through her pockets, she passed a hi-potion to Jecht and greedily gulped one down herself.  A few of the bruises and stinging welts she’d earned sealed shut, and she could feel the bleeding slow down in the ones that hadn’t.  Still, without the magic of the Alchemist dressphere, the potions weren’t doing enough for either of them.  “Can we retreat yet?”

Jecht shook his head, looking exhausted.  “I don’t think the dragon’s gonna win this one,” he wheezed, watching the fight.

Bahamut was struggling, dropping to one knee as he wrestled with the jagged remains of the sinspawn.  He must have been holding the creature back in the ocean, buying them time to escape before she and Jecht could be crushed.  

“Oh, Braska,” Rikku breathed, relieved and embarrassed at the same time.  What kind of Guardians had to be rescued by their summoner?  If Kinoc and the crusaders witnessing it hadn’t thought their Pilgrimage was a joke before, they probably did now.

With an almost anticlimactic sigh, Bahamut collapsed, the dragon’s form wavering before dissolving.  The sinspawn looked heavily damaged at least; huge chunks of its armored shell had been shredded away, and the remaining body was significantly smaller in size than before.  What it lost in mass, however, it gained in speed.  

Flipping itself over in a grotesque caricature of a pillbug, it scuttled up the rocks and directly towards its largest threat: the high outcropping where Braska and Auron stood.  Bursts of magic from the remaining casters assaulted it from all sides, but this time the spells bounced off of the fiend’s hard shell like pebbles thrown against a boulder.  

“It’s magic resistant now!” Jecht bellowed.  He stood a few meters before her, his hands splayed outwards in their familiar box.  “Still armored too!”  He finished his spell.

The fiend was carelessly mowing down the remaining crusaders standing between it and the summoner.  Even Kinoc was there, though he was knocked off of his chocobo as the sinspawn thundered past him.  Jecht swore loudly, already running, but Rikku knew he wasn’t fast enough; no one could be, not with the number of legs still left on the thing.  She moved her hand to her belt and activated another node, refusing to submit to the drooping exhaustion weighing down her limbs.

“You’re gonna listen, whether you like it or not!” she yelled, raising one arm and letting the magic swirl around her.  

 _I’ll lend you my strength,_ Lenne whispered, and power flooded Rikku’s body.  She smiled and danced a little jig, reenergized, before grabbing her microphone out of the air and bringing it to her lips.  Her voice boomed over the cliffs, the magic reaching out and licking at the sinspawn, slowing its charge.  

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ditch your date before the last dance?”

The crusaders were regrouping, at least the ones who weren’t gaping.  She could see Auron gesticulating angrily at her from where he stood; Braska, pale-faced, was already beginning another summoner’s dance.  

Winking, she blew a kiss towards them and began to sing for her audience of one.  “Come to me, my dearest friend,” she crooned.  She held out a finger and crooked it, and a shudder rippled through the fiend.  “Can you feel my song again?”   Slowly, ponderously, it began to turn towards her.   “I’ll bring you back where you belong,” Rikku promised, and its legs twitched.  “And this can be our favorite song!” she belted out, raising her voice.  

 _It’s working!_ she thought with growing excitement, putting a hypnotic sway into her hips.  The sinspawn was moving towards her in earnest now, and she almost tripped over her feet, humming into her microphone.  _Uh, it’s really working!  Now would be a great time for the rest of a plan!_  Beads of sweat broke out over her forehead, and, not for the first time, Rikku wished Lenne’s dressphere had any kind of offensive capabilities.

The missing plan materialized in the form of a very angry Shiva, her icy face drawn in contemptuous fury as her foot crashed into the sinspawn.  She stopped its charge and crushed what look like the fiend’s head into the ground.  Rikku’s anatomical guess was proven wrong as the spawn simply rolled its hind end forward in response, lashing out at the aeon and proving that it didn’t _need_ a head because it didn’t _have_ one.  Shiva managed to twirl away in a cloud of ice shards and braided hair, narrowly avoiding the hit.

Rikku skipped forward reluctantly – running _towards_ greater sinspawn instead of _away_ from them seemed to be the disturbing theme song of the day.  Even Auron was taking the cue now; she tracked his red coat flying through the air as he leapt from rock to rock, rushing to assist them.   _Hmm, he looks like poetry in motion,_ she thought, nurturing the lyrics for a new love song while watching him move.  It would probably be a smash hit if she could make it to the stage on time.  She touched a node on her belt as she considered the idea, and –

– fell to her knees, the exhaustion returning full force as Lenne’s strength fled her limbs.  “I’ll sing when it’s dead,” she ground out, staggering to her feet.   _One more time,_ she promised herself, fighting for her breath.  Without the poltergeist in her Songstress sphere to buffer the pain, her wounds were _really_ starting to sting.  Even so, she couldn’t gather enough energy to complain about it, not even one little, “Owwie.”  Instead, she concentrated on manipulating her sphere grid.   _Just one more change.  One last time and it’s done,_ she repeated.  _Or I am._

“Either way, this is going to end here,” she growled as the light flared around her.  She drew herself tall and slashed her summoned sword through the air, cherry blossoms scattering in the wind.  Then, holding her weapon to her side, she pitched herself forward into a run.  Fortunately, even the Samurai dressphere couldn’t reduce her natural speed, and soon she was overtaking Jecht.

“Holy crap!” he yelled, doing a double-take as she passed him.  “You’re really gonna do that in front of him?”

“You said do or die,” she answered bleakly, hefting her sword.  She continued her charge without hesitation, lifting her blade in a wide arc at the last possible moment.  It cleaved through the armored shell like a hot knife through butter, sending wriggling legs and plated chunks of flesh flying before they exploded into pyreflies.  Jumping back, she surveyed the damage she’d inflicted with a grim sense of satisfaction.

The creature screamed and reared, only to be met with another hit, this time courtesy of Shiva.  The aeon ripped through the underbelly of the fiend with her claws, before rolling away from the angry monster’s thrashing.  

It didn’t even have a chance to recover before Auron reached them, his sword whistling through the air and smashing the fiend’s chitinous back, severing yet another jointed segment of its long body into pyrefiles.

He retreated to Rikku’s side, eyebrows raised at her appearance.  She could see the questions on his face, a plethora of whats, whys, and hows, but when his mouth opened, he only allowed a terse command to come out:  “We hit it together from the bottom up.  Destroy the segments one by one.”

Rikku nodded, grateful for his brevity, and narrowed her eyes.  “Now!” they both yelled simultaneously, and she had the presence of mind to match Auron’s offended glance before charging with him.  Their swords hit the body of the fiend in a mirrored strike, destroying yet another segment.

“Never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad there’s two of you,” Jecht quipped as he covered their retreat, keeping the flailing appendages of the angered fiend from spearing them.  Or more accurately, spearing _her_ ; Auron wasn’t as winded, still able to defend himself.  She dropped to a knee, panting, and willed her legs to move.

Auron looked at her more closely, his eyes tightening with worry as he took in her state.  “You need to retreat,” he commanded, stepping in front of her.

“No, you need me,” she countered.  “No Fear!”  Her cry was both an answer and a spell, defensive shields rising over her in a honeycomb of light.   _I may be borrowing Auron’s strength, but I can still do this!_  “It’s almost over.”

Jecht approached them, limping heavily and looking just as beat as Rikku.  “I gotta agree with Auron for once, Blondie.  We’re both done, even with that fancy belt of yours.”  He shook his head.  “Braska’s gotta take the ball from here.”

Rikku frowned, angry.  “No.   _No!_  I won’t stand behind another summoner and let them do all the work!  We’re Guardians now!  This is our job, even if we fall!”  She rose to her feet, determined.

“Stay here!” replied Auron.  Then his expression softened.  “You don’t have to fall just yet.”  Rikku watched as he threw himself back into the fray and wondered when, exactly, _she_ had become the cynic.   _Well, tough luck, but I don’t give in that easily,_ she thought in defiance and readied a charge.

“You’re channelin’ too much of the Stiff!”  Jecht caught her shoulder and yanked her backwards.  “Relax, Braska’s ice chick has this covered.”  Shiva sailed through the air as he spoke, landing another punishing roundhouse kick against the spawn’s torso.  “See?  Nothin’ to worry about – ”   

He trailed off as a few tentacles from the staggering fiend clamped around the aeon’s leg, halting her retreat.  The sinspawn swung her into the ground and pinned her there.  It toppled onto the struggling summon, crushing her into pyreflies.  

Rikku shook herself out of Jecht’s grip.  “You were saying?”

“I hope you got a miracle spell hidin’ somewhere,” Jecht amended, readying his weapon.

Auron was already taking advantage of the spawn’s last attack against the aeon, driving his sword into its exposed belly.  Rikku huffed as the fiend screeched and jackknifed back onto its many feet, nearly crushing Auron in the process.

“Why won’t this thing drop?”  She swore under her breath as she deactivated her sphere grid.  There was no point trying to fight it with her remaining strength; Auron and Jecht were right.  In her state, she’d only be making herself a needless target in close combat; magic was the only real option.  She glanced at her belt.  

Every node on the accessory was lit, the used paths forming themselves into a shining diamond pattern.  Rikku smiled viciously.  “Is it still guarding against spells?” she asked.

“Yep,” Jecht answered her, squinting.  “I got nothin’.  Not even mana,” he added.  “Ooh, Auron took a big hit there.”  He winced, and Rikku forced herself not to look.  “Seriously, we need a game plan!”

“I may have one last surprise,” Rikku admitted, “but we have to make it vulnerable to magic or it’ll just be another waste of time.  Ideas?”

She spared a moment to watch the progress of the fight in the heavy silence that followed.  Auron was alone against the creature now.  He moved in an intricate dance of blood and steel, a choreography she didn’t understand.

Braska was raining white magic on Auron as quickly as he could from his vantage point, buying the warrior more time.  Rikku was impressed by the summoner’s reach; even Yuna couldn’t power her spells from that far a distance.  Still, there were limits to what white magic could do.  Wounds could be healed, but the physical stamina exhausted during a lengthy battle remained gone even after the injuries disappeared.

“You!”  Rikku whipped around, surprised to see Kinoc joining them.  His armor was covered in dirt, and at some point he’d discarded his helmet, but the grip on his sword remained strong and his eyes were lit with fury.  That sword, she noted, was pointed at her.   “You’ve brought your Al Bhed curse to this battle and doomed us to failure!”

“I’m not the enemy here!” Rikku snapped back incredulously.  “Don’t even try bringing your dumb Yevonite superstitions into this!  Why don’t you go help Auron instead?”

“What, no more Al Bhed tricks up your sleeve, girl?  You’re the one who’s not helping,” Kinoc snarled, facing the battle.  “Auron was never this weak before that _Al Bhed Lover_ corrupted his mind!”  Rikku recoiled at the raw venom in Kinoc’s voice, suddenly glad that Braska wasn’t standing next to them.  She was sure he would have thrust his sword straight into the summoner otherwise.   _He really hates Braska that much?_

“Your lot ruined the greatest one of us!  If we die here, it’s on your cursed Al Bhed heads!”

Despite his words, it was the way his entire body trembled with wrath that allowed Rikku to realize she had it the wrong way around.  Her entire world shifted two paces to the left.  Kinoc didn’t just hate Braska; he _loved_ Auron.  The sudden swell of pity blindsided her, leaving her gaping as Kinoc threw himself into the battle to assist the other man.

Did Auron even know – but how could he, when they had both been prominent scions of Yevon?  Bevelle’s Maesters were already falling over themselves in their hurry to denounce the Al Bhed; how much further would they have gone to punish one of their own favored sons?  It probably wouldn’t have even come to that – Rikku was pretty sure Kinoc loved power more than any single person.  

But it was still _something._

“Are we gonna let that asshole show us up or what?” Jecht growled, cuffing her shoulder, refocusing her attention.  “We need to help them!”

Rikku grabbed her head and shook it.  “I know, I know!”   _Think-think-think!_ She scrunched her eyes shut and covered her ears – probably not the best pose to take in a life-or-death battle – but the plain truth was they were all dead if they couldn’t bring the sinspawn down this time.

She heard a low buzzing that grew steadily louder despite the pressure of her hands against her head. _I’ve felt this before._  She cracked her eyes open and watched the battle rage.  The fiend rose into the air to tower over the remaining combatants.  Its mandibles clicked, and Rikku tilted her head, watching flashes of light spark between them.  

A prick of fear shivered down her spine; a warning.  She ignored it and focused on the trance-like song echoing through her head, losing herself to the melody no one else seemed  to hear.

Her feet were moving; Jecht asked her what she was doing, but she couldn’t answer.  There was only the call.  _Come here,_ it whispered.  _Listen._  She ran towards its pained cry for freedom.   _Wait –_ she thought, her hand reaching out, ignoring Auron’s yell as he almost clipped her, ignoring the tickle of Braska’s white magic.   _Wait, I know you!_  Her hand slipped through the fiend easily, parting shell and muscle as if it were no more than _pyreflies,_ reaching further and further in.  Something shivered in delighted recognition as her hand closed around it, and she pulled.

The sinspawn’s legs caught her and sent her flying.  She heard shouting, but even as she landed in a bone-jarring heap and rolled to a stop, she smiled.  Lifting her hand, she looked at the two glowing balls of light trapped between her fingers, whispering their secrets to her.  “Twin stars,” she breathed, carefully bottling them before they could dissipate.  

Another healing spell sprinkled over her, waking her to a number of hurts she had acquired.  Rikku pushed herself up despite the pain and looked at the sinspawn.

It was still reared above the others, but tottered as though she had pulled out whatever was holding the linked segments of its body together.  Auron was more than ready to take advantage of the distraction; he grabbed the jug attached to his hip and pried it open with his teeth.  Taking a deep swig, he spat onto his blade and lifted it over his head while chanting.  Dark energy swirled around him; his arms shook from the effort of containing it.  Then, with a shout, he swung the sword, sending the blasts of power towards the fiend and knocking it down.  It let out an inhuman scream and curled in on itself, and Rikku’s grin rose even higher.  Jecht had asked for a miracle, but they didn’t need one.  They had _Auron._

“It’s payback time,” she rasped.  Leaning back, she opened her arms to the sky, feeling the Conflagration grid on her belt heat as the activated pathways pulsed in time with her whispered words.  _Please,_ she thought as she smashed her arms downwards, pushing every bit of energy she could into the spell.  

The ground under the sinspawn lit up and cracked, rumbling ominously.  Auron and Kinoc scrambled away from the glow as it seeped out of the rocks in an oscillating ring.  The ground shuddered once before multiple beams of pure energy exploded into concentric circles over the fiend’s body, enveloping it in a deadly grasp.  

Seconds later, a deafening roar followed as the energy burst, spewing flames and pyreflies everywhere.  It drowned out everything else for a brief moment, turning the sky into a shimmering blanket of white.  

And then, in the vacuum of silence that followed, the pyreflies faded and revealed nothing more than barren rock, all signs of the sinspawn vanished.

Rikku let herself collapse backwards and savored the hard-won victory.  Smirking, she took a page out of Tidus’ book and pointed one victorious finger towards the sky.  “Flare!”  Then the blackness of pure exhaustion overtook her in a decidedly less-than-glorious faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 8/16: severely tightened up the battle flow and made Auron's military experience more authentic.
> 
> Rikku’s song was originally based on a Goo Goo Dolls hit, but I edited it to change the lyrics into original text.
> 
> Felicity [Lady Luck]: luck on all allies  
> Four Dice [Lady Luck]: physical damage on all enemies, damage multiplier x100 with all 1’s  
> Mix [Alchemist] - Archangel: 8x holy damage on one enemy  
> “Rud tysh!” = “Hot damn!”  
> “Cred!” = “Shit!”  
> Godhand: break damage limit (passive ability)  
> No Fear [Samurai]: cast shell & protect on user  
> Banishing Blade [Auron]: non-elemental damage on one enemy + Full Break*  
> *Full Break: Power Break, Armor Break , Magic Break , Mental Break**  
> ** Power Break: - ½ str  
> ** Armor Break: - def, - Armored status  
> ** Magic Break: - ½ mag  
> ** Mental Break: mag def set to 0 ***  
> Flare: non-elemental damage on one enemy (must activate every node on the Conflagration Grid)
> 
> *** Yes, Banishing Blade really is one bad ass overdrive


	32. Awakenings

The sun shone brightly, and somewhere overhead a seagull let out a lazy trill.  Rikku smiled as a cool breeze whisked away the oppressive heat.  She stretched, enjoying the feel of the wind in her face and wondered when, exactly, Brother had installed recliners on the deck of the Celsius.  

_Whatever.  It was a good life decision,_ she decided, nestling back against her pillows.

A shadow fell over her, ruining the perfect moment.

“I can see you’re awake, you know.”  She heard, rather than saw, Paine cross her arms.  The older girl sighed.  “Get up already.”

“Why should I?  I’m _so_ tired!”

Paine’s eyeroll was audible, too.  “Could you please focus?  You need to get back to work.”

Rikku cracked an eye open, and tried to match the red glare.  “Work, work, work!  Don’t you think I’ve earned a break?  It’s not like you guys need me around anyway – Doctor P is in the house, right?”

Paine smiled faintly and Rikku’s hackles rose.  Paine didn’t smile.  

Her face grew shadowed, backlit by the eternal twilight of the Farplane.  “Everyone’s good at something.  My job is to break things.  Yours is to put them back together.”  Paine’s voice was changing, taking on a deeper, more masculine cadence.  Her body started dissolving into pyreflies.

“Maybe you’re more needed than you think.”

Rikku stretched out her hand, hit by a sudden, sharp sense of loss.  The silhouette stepped toward the edge of the airship’s deck, and the feeling grew.  “Paine?” she asked, but... it wasn’t _Paine_ she was reaching for anymore.

No, it was –

Rikku’s eyes flew open, throat closing around his name.  

“Are you in pain?”  

Jerking backwards, she turned towards the voice. _“Auron?”_ The room was dark, she was on a bed, and he was sitting next to her, a rare look of concern on his face.  

Auron didn’t sit by bedsides, waiting for people to wake up; he was more the type to beat consciousness back into them.  It was confusing with the dream-image of Auron’s older incarnation still fresh in her mind.

_Wait, am I still dreaming?_  Rikku pinched herself.  “Oww!” she yelped, before blowing on the reddened skin.  “Yeah, I’m in pain now!”

Auron chuckled, and his probing stare faded into mild humor.  “Looks like you’re feeling better.”  He paused.  “Can you stand?”

Rikku took in her surroundings.  They were in a travel agency, it seemed.  But they must not have spared any expense since she was resting on a bed rather than squished like a sardine between the others.  Not to mention that Auron was being _nice._  Was he trying to butter her up for something?  Some sort of bad news?  She narrowed her eyes in suspicion, swung her legs out of the bed, and felt for her boots with her toes.  “Is that sinspawn still waiting outside for round two _thousand?_ ”

“Don’t joke about that,” Auron growled.

Rikku relaxed as normality reasserted itself.  “Alright, just checking,” she said, bouncing to her feet.  Auron caught her as her knees unexpectedly buckled.  “Um, yeah, so I might need something to eat first,” came her muffled amendment, her face burning to match his coat.

Auron’s fingers flexed around her before he pushed her back.  “Hold onto my arm,” he instructed.  “There’s some fruit in the lobby.”

They shuffled their way into the hall, Rikku shooting not-so-surreptitious glances at Auron the entire time.  “I’m not made of glass, you know,” she told him after a few steps.  “Not that having an excuse to hold onto your arm isn’t _magnificent,_ but I’m _starving_.  I can’t even appreciate this moment because the way to my heart is being eaten open by my stomach.”  She frowned when he didn’t crack so much as a smile, though their pace did quicken.  “Hey,” she said, softer, tugging on his arm.  “What’s wrong?”

Auron exhaled.  “I need some air.”

They entered the cheerily lit main hall and headed to the produce stand tucked against one corner of the reception desk.  The man behind the counter gave them a brief nod while she picked out some fruits.  She raised an eyebrow when Auron offered to carry them for her, guiding her towards the exit.  

Chivalry wasn’t dead, but its unexpected presence was surprising her into speechlessness.

“Is something wrong with you?”

Well, okay.   _Near_ speechlessness.

“We’re at the Mi’ihen Highroad Travel Agency,” Auron replied wearily.  Despite the telltale tic of annoyance on his forehead, he still held the door open for her.

_Ah._  Although the building had not yet been painted in the garish colors of the Al Bhed, the simple fact that the receptionist hadn’t batted an eye at Rikku’s garb should have clued her in.  The closer one got to Luca, the less anyone cared about identity or race; Blitzball would always be Spira’s greatest unifier.  The relaxed atmosphere was a welcome change, and Rikku felt herself unwinding as they stepped outside.

The sun was rising over the banked ruins of the sunken twin towers, and she smiled at the familiar sight.   _This was where we first found the Godhand._ All of a sudden, she missed the Fahrenheit.  It had been clunky and slow for an airship – Cid didn’t have nearly as good a hand in tuning airships as did his children – but it had served them faithfully throughout Yuna’s ordeal.   _Until Father turned it into a tourist transport._ She scowled.  

Shoving the thoughts aside, Rikku hurried towards the picturesque bluff stretching before the sea and threw herself to the ground, revelling in the feel of cool grass tickling her stomach.

Auron handed her the fruit and sat next to her, cross-legged and back ramrod straight.  If he cupped his fingers above his knees, he could have started meditating.  

Rikku rolled her eyes and dove into a pomegranate, fingers shucking off the thick peel.  “Do you ever loosen up?”  She held out a few seeds for him, and when he made no move to take them, she shoved them into his hand.  “We just totally _owned_ that Sin Fin.  I think you earned a breather.”

He didn’t answer.

She popped a few seeds in her mouth and kicked her legs out behind her.   “Mmm.  These are _so good!_  Have you tried them yet?  I swear to the Godhand these must be the best tasting things in Spira!”

Auron’s fingers twitched around the seeds in his palm, but he remained silent.  

“Ok, maybe they aren’t, but that first meal after a near-death experience always tastes the best!”

Auron crushed the seeds.  

Rikku blinked and shut her mouth.  

Sticky juice dribbled from between his whitened knuckles, and his face contorted in pain.  “Don’t _joke_ about that,” he repeated, looking at her.

Rikku cautiously wiped her hand on the grass and sat up.  “Did… someone die?”  

“Braska and Jecht are fine.”

Her stomach unclenched, but her brow furrowed.  “Then why the heck are you acting like it?”

“Many others died.  And you!  Running off like a fool towards death!”  Auron dropped his gaze to his clenched fist.  “I have never been so thankful to see Jecht exercising that same poor judgement.”

Rikku pulled her knees under her chin and looked out toward the ocean.  Why couldn’t Auron just focus on the fact that they’d won?  Her choice shouldn’t matter – she’d made it and come out victorious; it hadn’t even been the first time!  If anything, near-death battles had been Rikku’s _thing_ since she was sixteen.

Still, she hadn’t meant to cause him any pain.  “As long as Sin’s around, taking it on means rushing toward death ‘like a fool.’  As long as we fight, there’s a chance I might not make it back. Worry sucks, but that’s what happens when you actually care about other people,” she murmured.  “But thanks, I guess?”

Auron eased his hand open and began to clean it methodically.  “I realized something,” he told her, avoiding her eyes.  “Your… costumes.  They saved your life.”  

Rikku waited, wondering where he was going with that line and hoping fervently that it wasn’t towards the Samurai dressphere.  

“And yet they are _machina._  Technology, forbidden by Yevon.”  

His tone was even, but Rikku realized his confusion was more than just his feelings for her; something was fundamentally changing inside of him.  

“I can’t hate anything that can help us defeat Sin.  That can keep you, Braska – and damn it all, even those Crusaders – _safe._ ”  

He looked lost and angry, and Rikku’s heart clenched.  

“I know what Kinoc said to you,” he admitted.  “Jecht doesn’t mince words.”  He reached into his coat, pulled out a sphere, and set it on the ground.

It buzzed to life and Auron’s voice filled the air.  It was the recording she had made in Bevelle, teasing Auron about his fear of machina – the one where she had accidentally captured his exchange with Kinoc for her release.  Eventually, it fizzled to a stop.

“We were wrong about so many things.  The teachings may have chafed, but I never thought to question them until Braska came.  Afterwards, I believed Mika was making too many mistakes, but even still, the tenants were my guide.  The path may have become rockier, but my way was clear.”  Auron looked at her.  “You’ve muddied the waters.”

Rikku grinned, unapologetic.  “I hear we Al Bhed like mud.  Maybe it’s not all that bad, getting your hands a little dirty.”

Auron returned her smile with a faint one of his own.  “Perhaps.”  He looked at the sphere before them, and then scooped it up.  “I do know one thing.  This is no longer a memory I wish to keep.”  He tossed it towards the ocean, where it hit the water with a soft plunk.  Auron watched it wash away as though he were saying goodbye.  His expression was stoic, but the corners of his eyes were pinched – his only tell for the feelings he struggled with.  Still, there was also something more settled – _determined,_ even – in his posture.

Rikku dug into her small collection of fruit – she was still hungry, damn it, no matter what emotional operas might be playing out in Auron’s head.  As she ate, she tried to give him as much privacy as possible.

Fortunately, Auron returned from his head-trip before it got too awkward.  “There’s something else,” he said.

Rikku froze, then casually turned and spat a seed out of her rapidly drying mouth.  “Yeah, so about that dressphere,” she began.

Auron blinked, confusion stealing over his expression for a second, before it was replaced by mild irritation.  “Not that,” he cut her off.  “Frankly, Braska and I were wondering who would next suffer for your costumes.  Now I owe him 10 gil.”  Sarcasm leaked into his tone.  “Thank you for that, by the way.”  He smirked as Rikku floundered.  “I meant when you ran off.  I didn’t agree with your choice.”  He uncrossed his legs and clasped his hands, leaning forward.  “I was angry that you didn’t consult me first.”

Rikku coughed.  “I could tell.  You just overkilled those poor pomegranate seeds, you know?”

Auron shook his head and chuckled.  “No.  I was angry with myself.  You have the right to live or die as you see fit.  It’s just… I had been relying on the belief that you weren’t capable of sacrificing everything for sake of this Pilgrimage.”

“What the – !”  She socked him in the arm.  “What do you mean, _‘Not capable of it?’_  Isn’t that what you’ve been scolding me for from day one?  What the heck!”  She fumed, ripping up patches of innocent vegetation and flinging them at Auron’s head.  

To his credit, he didn’t attempt to dodge the onslaught, eyes rolling.  

Only once he was sufficiently coated in clumps of grass did her temper begin to wane.  “You better have a really good point before I make you follow that sphere,” she muttered.

Shaking a few tufts from his hair, Auron sighed.  “I have no right to feel sullen about your choice simply because…”  He trailed off and turned his head away, mumbling something.

“Oh, no you don’t, Buster!” Rikku yelled, grabbing his head with both hands, and forcing him to meet her gaze.  “You’re not getting off that easy!  Spill!”

To her surprise, his eyes were filled with warmth.  His own hand reached for the back of her neck, trapping her with a gentle grip.  “Because you infuriate me by forcing me to notice you.  Because I now look forward to each day with something like anticipation instead of dread.  Because you are making this journey bearable.”  He paused and drew her in.  “Because you are _you._ ”

Despite the herd of stampeding chocobos demanding be let out of her chest, she managed to say, “You know you love me!”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Auron replied, before kissing her.

She melted.  Auron’s kiss was slow and measured, but all the more intense for it.  And he was a _really_ good kisser.  Did he have practice?  Had someone else gotten to his lips first?

_Shut up, brain._

He kissed her like she was the rising sun itself.  It was a kiss filled with warmth and joy and _belonging_.

His hand moved to the nape of her neck.  He snagged a braid and tilted her head back, deepening the kiss.  If not for his warm hands and insistent lips anchoring her, Rikku felt she would scatter like motes of light dancing across the water.

Reluctantly, she pulled away, before resting her forehead against his. She closed her eyes for a moment and just breathed.

_I was wrong_.  It was so clear now; the truth of his kiss burned away the last remaining delusions of her past.  What did a sixteen-year-old girl, still smarting from the loss of her home and family, know about love?  She’d latched on to the first thing that had seemed kind and real – and that was ironic, considering Auron had been nothing more than pyreflies, bitterness, and willpower.

Rikku’s breath caught, and some of the magic evaporated.

Auron’s thumb gently traced along her earlobe, sending another shiver down her spine.

This Auron was full of flaws, clumsy and fumbling in his attempts to demonstrate his feelings for her.  But that didn’t matter.  Even knowing what the future held did little to dampen the strength of her own response.  Rikku wanted to travel by his side, wanted to be the one who pulled a smile onto his solemn face, and wanted to help him carry the burden of his destiny.  

Because this imperfect, sharp-edged man before her was her _friend_ , not her idol.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.  “Am I assuming too much?”

“Stupid,” she whispered with a smile, not sure if she was talking to herself or Auron.   _I didn’t know anything_.  She opened her eyes.  “Don’t be so dense.  I really do, you know.”  She swallowed.  “I love – ”

Auron’s lips silenced her before she could finish.  After an achingly short moment, he pulled away and shook his head.  “Not yet.  I can’t blindly throw myself onto your altar.”  He leaned back, far enough to stop her from seeking another kiss.  “Not directly after falling from Yevon’s.”  

The admission cut slightly, tainting the glorious moment with a bitter aftertaste.  “You can still kiss me anyway, you know.”  

He huffed in amusement.  “Opportunistic as always.”

Rikku grinned, reaching out to brush some grass from his hair.  “I can’t promise we won’t hurt each other, but sometimes a little pain is worth it.”  Bumping his shoulder, she grabbed another fruit and and offered it to Auron.  He took it from her with a smile.  They sat there for a while longer, continuing to eat and watching the sun climb higher.

Auron broke the silence when the beginnings of the midday heat started tipping into uncomfortable warmth.  “Jecht’s turning into a better Guardian than the rest of us.”  He let out a wry laugh.  “Untrained as he is, he has never hesitated to throw himself to our defense.”

“That’s because he doesn’t understand,” Rikku pointed out.  “Jecht still thinks we’re on some journey to become superstars, complete with fame and commercial sponsorships.”  She eyed Auron.  “He deserves to know.”

He tensed.  “That is still Lord Braska’s call.”

“You think we should tell him too, don’t you?”

“What Braska wants, he gets.  This is also something we have no right to decide on our own.”

Rikku discarded the last of her fruit, appetite vanishing.  So, to Auron, Braska’s desires trumped Jecht’s ignorance.  She tried to remind herself – he didn’t know Jecht was also marching towards his own fate, one which was, in many ways, worse than a simple death.  “I still think we should tell him _something,_ ” she protested.  “At least about Zanarkand.  He’s earned that.”

“What more can we do?  Jecht already knows Zanarkand is a thousand-year-old ruin.”  Auron shrugged.  “He simply refuses to believe it.”

“He still thinks Braska is going to be able find him a way back.”   _And he still thinks he’s from our Spira,_ she added with a pang of guilt.  “I hate lying to him.”

Auron frowned.  “As do I.  But what would come of telling him the truth?  To reveal to him so shortly after our hard-won victory that Braska is going to die – and that he will still be stranded here – would be no kindness.”

Rikku hung her head.  It was a pretty good point; nobody sane would taint a victory celebration with a suicide-in-progress.  Well, maybe all those undead Maesters of Yevon would enjoy something like that; Seymour had thought death was a great excuse to host a wedding.  

Still, this was Jecht.  He wasn’t _dead._   _He’s just not real_.

Tainting a victory celebration with an existential crisis didn’t sound much better, for that matter.

“Maybe you’re right,” Rikku groused, tousling her hair.  “We should just let sleeping fiends lie.”  She leaned her chin on her palm.  “Hopefully, they won’t bite us in the butts too badly when they wake up.”

“If we cannot give him honesty, perhaps sincerity will do instead.”  Auron looked down at her, his expression serious.  “I have been wrong about many things.  I told Kinoc his behavior was shameful, but even he was there when we needed him.”  He turned back to the ocean.  “I’ve always labeled Jecht as an irresponsible fool, but perhaps that label is meant for me, instead.  I should talk to Jecht as a friend, rather than a mentor.  I owe him that much.”

She stared at Auron. “This battle really shook you, huh?  The way you were slinging out commands, I guessed you used to do stuff like this every day before breakfast!  But, maybe not?”

Auron’s eyes danced with humor.  “Maybe I did.”  His almost-smile dropped into a more thoughtful expression.  “It’s not the fighting.  Fighting is what I do best.  Having comrades – no, _friends_ – that I care for…”  He trailed off.  “This is uncharted territory.”

Bolstered by a sudden sense of euphoria, Rikku scrambled to her feet and dusted her skirt off.  “Alright!” she cheered.  “Let’s do this, then!  I’ll help you show Jecht the _power of friendship_!”  

He cringed.  

“Although, I think Jecht’s ahead of the game on this one.  I mean, he already asked you to lend him money.”

Auron rubbed his temples.  His forehead was doing that _thing_ again.  Did he know it could get stuck like that?  

“On second thought, it might be best if I attempt this alone.”

“Aww, phooey!  This is exciting!  You’re getting in touch with your _feelings_!”

“Don’t gloat too much.  We’re still going fiend hunting later today.”  He fixed her with a glare that said, _I have a very large sword and I’m not afraid to use it on you._

_Fine by me._  Rikku tried not to bounce in place.  It was amazing – just one kiss and she was already shifting Auron’s threats into dirty promises.

Auron looked at her strangely.  She giggled.  “Uh, right.  Go spend some quality time man-bonding with Jecht, and I’ll keep Braska busy!”

Auron scowled, before managing a neutral hum of agreement.  

_Looks like I’m not the only one crashing face-first into the gutter after that kiss,_ she thought smugly, before the truth of it hit her.  She blushed.  “Uh.  I mean, I’ll just hang out with him.  You know.  Not.  Uh.  Bonding.”  She realized her hands were mimicking helpful gestures of what _bonding_ could imply and dropped them.   _Can my face get any redder?_

Auron looked as though he couldn’t decide between throttling her or laughing.  

She spun towards the travel agency with more than a little manic desperation.  “Yeah!  So where are they, anyway?”  

Auron sighed.  “Braska stayed behind to perform the Sending for the fallen crusaders.”  Rikku’s nervous excitement deflated.  “Jecht stayed with him to watch.  They should be returning soon.”  He paused.  “Even Kinoc couldn’t deny his own soldiers.  Not after Braska summoned three aeons to their defense.  I wonder how the Church is going to spin this battle.”

Rikku thought of the solemn stone figures lining the interior of the thunder temple.  “So this is how Braska became the Champion of Djose, huh?”

Auron snorted.  “Champion of Djose?  That does sounds like something Mika would concoct.  What more clever way to mask a band of misfits than to label them heroes.”  He shrugged.  “Who knows, they may even build him a statue.”  He tilted his head.

“What?  What is it?” Rikku asked, before she heard it too: the unmistakable sound of chocobos coming from the direction of Mushroom Rock Road.

“I think that’s them,” Auron said, moving towards the agency’s corral.

Braska and Jecht soon came into view, each riding a chocobo.  Braska was in his full uniform, helmet included.  Jecht followed him, looking unusually subdued.

“Hey, guys!” Rikku called out, waving.  

Though Braska waved back, obviously relieved to see her up and about, Jecht ignored her greeting.  She felt a twinge of worry, approaching Jecht as he stabled his chocobo.  “Hey, are you alright?”

“It was Jecht’s first time witnessing a Sending,” said Braska as he joined them, removing his helmet to wipe some sweat from his forehead.  

“I never wanna see that again,” Jecht grunted.  “How can you stand it?”

Braska dipped his head.  “I stand it because I must.  As long as Sin remains, there will always be a need for summoners to perform the Sending.  I admit, I do not enjoy it either.  The ceremony has become a necessity much too frequently of late.”

“Thirty years is a long time,” Auron agreed, joining them.  “One of the longest.  Sin grows more powerful when it continues unchecked.  I can only hope our battle slowed it down somewhat.”

Jecht crossed his arms, frowning.  “Thirty years is one of the longest times between summoners beatin’ this thing up?”  He canted his head to one side.  “So, you’re sayin’ no matter how hard you put the smack down, Sin gets back up?  You ever consider you gotta problem with your strategy?”

“All the time!” Rikku blurted, fixing an accusing glare onto Braska.  

But Braska only shook his head minutely.

“Jecht, forget about it.” Auron cut in.  “You and I need to discuss something more important.  Inside.”  He traded a long look with Rikku before turning away.

“Fine.  I’m goin’, alright!  Better than crackin’ my head on this mess,” Jecht muttered as he stalked away.

_Right, my turn.  Think pure thoughts!_  Rikku faced Braska, who was now petting his chocobo.  “ _So…_ ” she began, stubbing her toe in the dirt.  “That was pretty hard on Jecht, but are you alright?  I mean, the battle was tough for you, too, and then you had to perform a Sending after!”

Braska’s hands stilled.  “I must become stronger,” he said carefully.  “I know the crusaders will paint this as a victory, but I still failed.”  He looked over at Rikku with a tired smile.  “In the end, it was the three of you who defeated the Sinspawn, not I.  At least I was able to earn enough of the soldiers’ respect to Send their fallen.”

Rikku ground her teeth, suddenly furious.  “You shouldn’t have to _earn_ anyone’s respect!  You’re a summoner!  Isn’t it enough that you’re going to die for those ingrates?”  The unfairness of it all burned.  This man, who was loved and idolized in her time, was facing nothing but hurt and rejection in his own.  “You haven’t failed.  You’re _not_ a failure!”

“Thank you, Rikku,” Braska replied, after a long moment.  “I am glad you believe that.”

_That was a total brush-off!_  Stomping over to him, Rikku pushed Braska away from his chocobo.  “I’m over here,” she said.  “That bird doesn’t hold the secrets of the Farplane in its feathers.  You could at least look at me and try to listen!”

Braska held up his hands in defense.  “I am listening – ”

“No!  No, you’re not!”  Rikku pulled at her hair.  “You summoned three aeons in a row!  Do you know how incredible that is?  And you _still_ managed to save our lives afterwards with your magic!”  She flailed, trying to drive her point home.   

Braska caught her hands and forced them to still.  “I couldn’t let you die,” he told her, expression intense.

Rikku’s neck prickled uncomfortably, and she shook her hands free.  “I’m just saying: believe in yourself a little more.”  Her face was burning.  “Umm, but maybe I should just… y’know,” she stuttered, thumbing her way in a random direction that was anywhere except _here_.

A look of confusion crossed Braska’s features.  “...You want to muck out the stables?”

Rikku turned her head to face the enormous pile of chocobo manure and straw she had been pointing to.  “I give up,” she groaned, sagging in defeat.  

Braska started snickering, trying to hide the sounds behind a poorly engineered cough.  Well, at least the tension was broken.

“Walk with me, Rikku,” he told her, a smaller, but thankfully real, smile returning to his face.  “I told you I wouldn’t let my feelings come between you and Auron.  I am happy for the two of you, truly.”  They ambled down the path circling the building.  “There is no illness quite like the pain of the heart,” he told her.  “I have already succumbed to it once before.  It was my greatest teacher.”

He leaned down to pluck a flower that was growing by the side of the road.  “It showed me that every moment of life is precious.”  He studied the petals, and then tucked the wildflower behind her ear.  “Life in Spira is too short to hesitate when your heart speaks to you.”  His smile broadened, as if he knew a great secret.  “Even the pain of rejection is something I welcome.”  He dropped his hands and backed away.

As Braska gave her some space, Rikku had to wonder… just what sort of woman had her aunt been to have so completely captured his complicated heart?  Whatever Raenn had done resonated with Braska completely, even now.

Rikku toyed with the flower.  Would she and Auron ever share that depth of feeling?

“Allow yourself to grasp love,” Braska continued, resuming their stroll.  “If your path leads to Auron, so be it.  Live while you can.  Smile despite Sin, and know that what you are doing is right.”  Strong words for a supposed follower of Yevon’s conservative teachings.  No wonder Mika had all but excommunicated him.

Rikku couldn’t help herself.  “But what about you?  You’re already taking on responsibility for the entire world.  You expect me to be okay with making that harder?  That’s not fair!  When do you get to live?”  She clenched her hands into fists.

Braska spread his arms.  “If love is to know joy, then grief is to know ecstasy.  Without the extremes of our feelings, we may as well already be dead.”

Rikku hung her head, unable to counter his point.

Sensing the heavy mood, Braska shook himself and started back towards the travel agency.   “What exactly did Auron wish to speak to Jecht about?” he asked, tone light.  

_Hmm.  That was about as subtle as Brother mooning after Yuna._  A rampaging shoopuf would’ve been less obvious, but Rikku could appreciate the subject change.  Even if he _was_ trying to ply her for information about Auron’s discussion with Jecht.

_Too bad Auron’s such a stickler for Braska’s rules,_ Rikku pouted.  “Yeah, about that… we figured Jecht deserved a little more of the truth than we’ve been letting on.  He nearly died, you know!”  

Dismay clouded Braska’s face.  Even the feather on his helmet drooped.

“Hah!  Just kidding!  Auron’s thanking Jecht for what he did for me during the fight.  You know, _ryht du ryht._  Made you sweat there for a minute though, didn’t I?”  She smirked.

A calculating look edged into Braska’s expression.  “I suppose I deserved that.  But, Rikku,” he said gravely.  “Please don’t take my metaphor about the ecstasy of grief too far.  Now is not the time.”

The only proper response to that was an eyeroll, of course.

“And if you happen to forget, I will write you soliloquies and ask Auron to proofread them.”  

Rikku gaped.

Braska folded his hands, nodded, and walked away.

Oh, he fought _dirty._  She raced to catch him, eyeing him warily.  “You know you’re gonna have to tell Jecht _something_ one of these days, right?  Even Auron thinks so.”

“Just a little longer, that’s all I ask.  I know it’s selfish, but…” Braska gave her a steady look.  “I have already given up many things.”

_Way to guilt trip me!_  Rikku huffed; this was too important an argument to concede without a fight.  “Just find a way to tell him before Zanarkand,” she warned.  “I knew a couple of people who thought hiding the truth was a great idea, right up until the end.”  She steeled herself and glared.  “Don’t do that to him.”

“When we return from the last temple, then.  I will tell him before we ascend Mount Gagazet.”  

Slowly, Rikku raised two fingers to her eyes and flicked them out towards him in warning.  “You better!  I’m watching you, mister!”

“I’m flattered,” Braska replied, before sighing.  “Do you have any suggestions for how I should approach the topic?”

Her eyebrows rose to meet her bandana.  “You’re asking _me?_  Since when have any of you trusted _my_ life advice?”

Sheepishness stole across his expression.  “Well, you just mentioned some experience in these matters.  I hoped you might have some advice to impart.”

Rikku cocked her head.  Now _Braska_ was acting weird.  Maybe Sin’s toxin had hit both Auron and Braska hard – that would explain today, at least.  “You’re the one who’s supposed to be our fearless leader!”

Braska rubbed his chin.  “I really have no idea why you look to me for guidance.  I am simply journeying to the temples to collect aeons.  Where in Spira did you get the idea that this made me some sort of font of wisdom?”

“You opened your mouth,” Rikku supplied helpfully.

“Stop that now.  Really,” Braska complained, placing his hand on the agency’s front door.  “At my current level, I do not even know if we will reach Zanarkand.  I am still too weak.”

“What’s this about not reachin’ Zanarkand?”  The doors flew open, which pushed Braska into Rikku.  Her foot caught on one of the many trailing flaps of his robe.  She went down flailing, dragging Braska with her.  They landed in a tangle of limbs, cloth, and feathers, and blast it all, it _hurt._

“Get off me!  And eat something, you’re all elbows!” Rikku complained, shoving at Braska.

“You’re one to talk,” Braska shot back as he struggled to right his clothing, dignity clearly smarting.

“Oops,” Jecht said.  “Guess I don’t know my own strength!”  He laughed and held a hand out to Braska.  “You alright there, buddy?”

“I should ask that of you,” Braska countered as he was pulled to his feet.  “Auron already spoke to you of his _feelings,_ then?”

“He did,” Auron answered, moving past Jecht to help Rikku to her feet.  “We’ve sworn our eternal devotion to one another and are leaving the Pilgrimage.  My apologies, Rikku.”

“Did you just – ?”  Rikku’s mouth hung open to collect some chocobo flies.  

“Apologies to _Rikku_?” Braska asked dryly.

“I told you he was smooth,” Jecht added, giving Auron a thumbs-up and a wink.  

“Ugh, Jecht!” Rikku complained.

Jecht laughed and slapped Braska on the back.  “Just kiddin’, kids.  Auron wanted to let me know how _special_ I was to the team.”  He smiled.  “As if I needed to be told.  And,” he said, hand remaining on Braska’s back as his smirk widened, “he also told me you’d have big news about the Pilgrimage one o’ these days.”

Braska whipped around to face Auron, who was very purposefully looking off into the distance.  Rikku glanced at Auron in surprise, before she grinned at Braska, all teeth.  Braska stiffened and narrowed his eyes at them both in response.

“Well!” Jecht grunted, slapping Braska again, nearly sending the summoner back to the ground.  “Since I don’t speak eyeball ping-pong, why don’t you and I go inside and have a meal.  I’m starved and you’re payin’,” he said, hauling Braska into the building.

The door slammed behind them.  Rikku and Auron stared after them.

  
“Jecht’s really gonna make Braska squirm,” she said.  “Don’t you feel even a little bit sorry for him?”

“No,” Auron answered, smugly.

**.x.x.x.**

The sticky afternoon heat evaporated with the approaching sunset.  Rikku sighed in relief.  She checked over her stuffed pouches, humming while she riffled through their contents.  “So, today’s been pretty productive,” she told Auron.  “We’re fully restocked on healing potions.  There might even be some musk left to sell after I’m done with it.”

“We should have enough to get by in Luca,” he agreed.  “Though it will hardly land us in the lap of luxury.  Thank you for your help.”  He unhooked his jug and took a long swig from it.

Rikku snickered.  “Celebrating with a drink already?  We’re not even back at our rooms yet!”

Auron lowered the jug with mild exasperation.  “It’s just water.  I haven’t – ”

“Sure sure, I’ll believe it when I taste it,” Rikku groused, holding out a hand.  “Fiend hunting is hard work!  Give it here!”  He obliged, and Rikku wasted no time drinking from it.  She groaned in relief as the luke-warm water wet her parched throat.  Reluctantly she tore herself away and wiped some sweat from her brow.  “Water is life,” she moaned.  Then she noticed she’d spilled a bit in her haste.  “Oopsie,” she said, brushing away a few stray drops from her chest.

Auron retrieved the jug and corked it with an indecipherable expression.

“What?”  Rikku planted her hands on her hips.  “Can’t a girl take a drink without being scrutinized?”

“You provoked me,” he answered bluntly.

In a way, it was a relief that Auron’s earlier declaration of feelings hadn’t really changed their dynamic, at least in the field.  Whether he liked her or not, he was still a prickly pear. _I kinda love that about him,_ she thought fondly, before correcting her stance into the appropriate one: indignation.  

“What’d I do this time?  Is drinking water a crime now?”  She shifted her weight to one side and pouted.

Auron ran a hand down his face and sighed.  “You’re still doing it.”

“Ok, that’s cryptic.  Even for you,” Rikku shot back, revising her previous judgement of love.  Maybe it was only kinda-sorta-like _._  “A little help here?” she asked, lifting her arms up.

Lowering his hand, Auron raked his gaze up and down her body, lingering for a moment on her still-jutting hip.  “I didn’t say I was angry,” he answered, meeting her eyes.

_Auron: Two bazillion, Rikku: forever in the negatives._  Suddenly self-conscious, she straightened as if someone had shocked her with a Thunder spell.   _Wait, who’s really losing out here?_  She _re-_ rearranged her stance, thrusting her hip out further than before.

Auron chuckled and turned away.  “It’s only cute when you aren’t trying.”  

“Cute?  You think I’m cute?”   _Two bazillion and one,_ Rikku recounted.

Auron didn’t answer this time, but a satisfied smile crossed his face.  

They continued back to the agency in silence, and Rikku tried to recover.  For a guy they’d all figured to be less romantic than Wakka, he _was_ smooth.  She tapped her lip and glanced at him.  “You know, I don’t think you’re cute.”

“Thank Yevon,” Auron muttered.

“Nope,” she added with an appreciative glance towards his butt.  “You’re dead sexy.”

Auron tripped – and yes, that was a faint flush on his cheeks.  

_Score_.

They slowed as the travel agency came into sight; Jecht was waiting outside, leaning against the rail of the corral and watching them approach.  Braska was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s – ” Auron began.

Jecht cut him off.  “He’s resting inside.  Relax, Stiff,” he said, tone sharp.

Rikku stopped; usually, Jecht’s pet names carried a note of fondness to buffer the sting.  That clearly wasn’t the case this time.

Auron tensed beside her.  “Did he tell you?”

“Nope.  Braska didn’t give up the game.”  Jecht shrugged, expression almost blank, even as aggression edged his words.  “I get it.  I really do, man.  We’re friends, but you still got your honor an’ all.  You don’t have to tell me nothin’.”  His tone slid into bitterness.  “But it did get me thinkin’  ‘bout how much I don’t like secrets.  They make my head hurt.”  He shifted toward Rikku.

Rikku gulped.  

“Blondie, I wanna talk to you alone.”

Auron opened his mouth, but Rikku hit him before he could say anything.  He looked down at her, frowning.

“I’ll be fine,” Rikku assured him.

“That’s what you said the last time,” Auron replied.  Still, he nodded, both to her and Jecht, and strode into the building.  

Jecht pushed away from the fence.  “Not here,” he said, before heading behind the agency.

Rikku followed, feeling like she was marching towards a firing squad.  When he stopped, she blurted, “So, what’s on your mind?”

“Zanarkand.”  He crossed his arms.  “A thousand years gone, huh?”

“Heh-heh…”  She smiled nervously.  “Yep, that’s about right!”

“But it ain’t the whole truth, is it.”  It wasn’t a question.  

Shifting her weight, Rikku clasped her hands behind her back.  

He glared and penned her between the wall and some old, stacked crates.  “The truth is somethin’ you got locked up inside that head of yours.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” she tried.  “Stop being so mean, it’s kinda scary!”

Jecht shoved her back against the wall with bruising force.  It was easy to forget how strong he was when he acted so playful around them.  “How do you know Tidus?”

And there it was.  Would her web of lies withstand the hundred kilograms of muscle towering over her?  “Jecht, I can’t – ”

“ _Tell me how you know my boy!_ ” Jecht roared, punching the wall.  Rikku shrieked as chunks of lime and stone burst to the left of her head.  “ _Tell me!_ ”

His shout was one of raw pain; she recognized the agony of wondering if you could ever really go back; of discovering you’d had something good but taken it for granted, and now it was gone – possibly forever.  

Jecht hadn’t even chosen this path; instead, it had landed on him, unasked for and unwanted.

“Do you really want to know?”  She steeled herself.   _You owe him this, Rikku.  We all owe him this.  But I’m the only one who can pay_ **_this_ ** _debt._

He waited for her to continue, and Rikku swallowed.  One last chance for him to walk away.  “You won’t like anything I have to say.”

“I got nothin’ here, Rikku,” he said, the anger and pain bleeding into desperation.  “Braska and Auron won’t tell me the score, and I need to find a way back.  You’re a time traveller too, ain’t ya?  Help me get back.  Doesn’t matter when.  I just wanna see my family again, even if Tidus is all grown up.”

_Existential crisis it is_.  She shook her head; there was no way to say anything without hurting him.  “Your Zanarkand still exists…”  

He looked up, eyes bright with hope.

Something inside her crumpled.  “...but it’s not real.  Your wife, your son, your Blitzball record… none of it is _real._   _You_ aren’t real.”

“The hell?”  Jecht stepped closer, expression more confused than anything.

Rikku’s heart clenched; he didn’t understand.

“I’m here, ain’t I?  I just saved your life!  I still got the bruises from it!  Tell me how imaginary that was, huh?”

Rikku crossed her arms.   _You decided to do this.  So, do it!_  “Look, I don’t know.  This world, the Spira you’re in now, is real.  But the real Zanarkand died a long time ago!  The entire city got wiped out in the Machina War.  The place you’re remembering is a dream, Jecht.  Only sleepers think a dream’s real.”

Jecht shook his head.  “You musta hit your head, ‘cause that can’t be right.  I ain’t nobody’s damn dream, girl!  How’s that even possible?”

_I can’t do this_.  _Why isn’t Yuna here?  Or even Auron_ – _he’d know what to say._ She dropped her head into her hands.  _I’m just messing things up._

_Let me help you.  Let go.  I will tell him_ , Lenne said, before Rikku’s garment grid activated against her will.  Magic flared and then she was shoved back behind her own eyes, nothing more than a passenger in a vehicle she was no longer driving.  

Jecht took a surprised step backwards.  “You’re that singer chick.  What’d you do with Rikku?”  Then his expression turned hungry.  “Are you my way back?”

Rikku tried to reply, but when her mouth opened, only a reedy sound escaped from Lenne’s lips.  It turned into a soft hum – a hauntingly familiar tune.

“Sleep now, be at ease,” Lenne crooned, fingers fluttering over Jecht’s eyes, shutting them.  “Everyone’s the same.  Their lost fears, wrapped with sadness and confusion.”  She bowed her head, her voice strengthening into a cruel benediction.  “Pray to Yu Yevon!   _Dream, Fayth._  Forever and ever, grant us prosperity.”  The song died out and Lenne’s magic faded with it.  Only the haunting echoes of the Hymn and a profound sense of loss remained.

Jecht broke the silence first.  “That’s the temple song, ain’t it.  That’s what them Fayth are singin’ when they sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” Rikku said.

He began to laugh uncontrollably.  His hand covered his eyes and she realized he’d started to cry.  

_He’s just like Tidus_.  

Jecht stumbled back, hitting the wall he’d ruined and sliding to the ground.  

Why, _why_ hadn’t she just lied?  Jecht was _Jecht_.  He was invincible; she couldn’t watch him break apart.  She heard Braska’s words from earlier: _Without the extremes of our feelings, we may as well already be dead._  But Braska wasn’t there.   _She_ was.  It would have to be enough.

“You’re here now,” she offered.  “Somehow, you made it to the real Spira.  Maybe that means _you’re_ real now, too.”  

“This ain’t about me!”  Jecht glared, eyes shining and furious.  “I made some mistakes, I know that.  But I always tried to do right by my boy.  He doesn’t deserve any of this!  Why me?  Why not him?  Why ain’t _he_ real?”  He clenched his fist and hit the ground, as if he could beat an answer out of the earth.

Rikku sat back on her heels.  For all that they protested, he and Tidus _were_ the same – sparks of happiness in a world that had forgotten how to feel joy.  Wasn’t that really what gave them their unique strength?  Maybe comfort wasn’t what he needed.  Comfort would be accepting the hand fate dealt you.  Comfort would be giving up.

If nothing else, Jecht was a _fighter_.  

Rikku stood up.  “Who are you?” she asked.  “I never thought you’d let yourself be beat like this.  You faced down the biggest sinspawn any of us have ever seen and you didn’t even blink.  But one sappy little song and you’re reduced to tears?  I never took you for a crybaby,” she sniffed.  “Is this really the best your Zanarkand has to offer?”

“But,” Jecht started, faltered, and started again.  “You’re the one who said – you said I ain’t real.  What the hell can I do about any of this?  I can’t even take care of Tidus properly!”

“So that means you’re just gonna stop trying?  Some dad you are,” Rikku snapped.  “Tidus was always angry at you, you know.  By the time you left him, he said you’d given up.  That you’d started drinking so much you couldn’t even Blitz properly anymore.   _Jecht, the loser._ ”

Jecht leapt to his feet.  “You got some nerve!  If you know what’s good for you, you better shut that mouth of yours!”

Rikku shrugged.  It was a dangerous line she was toeing, but he needed this.  “Why, so you can curl up into a little blitzball and start crying again?”  She scoffed.  “If you don’t like it, _do something about it_.”

“Maybe I will!” Jecht exploded.  “I’ll show you how real I can be!  I’ll show all of you!  Dream, my _ass!_  I’ll make it all real!  I’ll even make Tidus real!”

Rikku grinned.  “Good,” she said.  “I’ll hold you to that.”

Jecht was turning purple.  “You won’t get to do shit – wait, what?”  It took a few painful moments of watching the chocobos spinning the wheels in his head before understanding dawned.  “Good play,” he admitted, shoulders dropping.  

“Are you mad?”  Rikku shifted, nervous.  His anger had dissipated, but Jecht was still a raging hulk and she was the bearer of bad news in his warpath.  She was a little surprised they weren’t already scraping bits of her off of the agency walls.

“At you?  Naw, I guess not,” Jecht said reluctantly.  “Am I pissed?  Hell yeah,” he added, his face darkening.  “What the fuck is wrong with you people?  You hated your own messed up world so much you had to create a brand shiny new one to screw with, too?”

“Umm, I don’t think Sin was supposed to be a part of your world,” Rikku told him in a tiny voice.

“Well _la-de-fuckin’-da!_  That helps me out a whole lot right now, don’t it!”

“Sorry,” she squeaked as she scooted away from the wall.  “Maybe I should just… go?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, sullen.  “Get lost.  I don’t wanna see _any_ of you right now.”

Rikku scrambled away.  A small part of her felt guilty for leaving Jecht behind to wrestle with his demons.  The larger part – the one in charge of self-preservation – heaved a sigh of relief.

Still, he’d asked to be left alone, not abandoned.  After a moment of thought, she decided to linger at the chocobo corral entrance, just in case he returned to them.  She wasn’t sure _she_ would, in his place.   _But I really do owe him._ She settled down to wait.

The minutes ticked by, and the sky grew darker.  She plucked a few long blades of grass and wove them together.  More and more vegetation joined her weaving as time passed, Rikku becoming single-mindedly focused on her impromptu grass sculpture.

She’d nearly finished the tailpiece of her miniature Machina Maw when a shadow fell over her.  

It was Jecht.  “C’mere, Blondie.”

The fondness was back in his words.  “Feel a little better?” Rikku asked, scrambling to her feet.

“Well…” he drawled before forcing her into a headlock and digging his knuckles into her hair.  “Head noogie, sucker!”  

“Owwie!  Lemme go!”  She thrashed, batting at him until he released her.  “That wasn’t funny!” she said, glaring as she rearranged her braids.

“Was to me,” he told her, grinning from ear to ear.  His expression slipped into something a little softer.  “Thanks.  Guess I needed a kick in the rear.”  He rubbed the back of his head.  “You know I talk big, but…”  He dropped his hand..  “Never exactly got the primer on how to fight fate.  Where do I even start?”

“Here!”  The reply spilled out of Rikku’s mouth.  “You’ve already started.  The answers are still in Zanarkand.  Stay with Braska.  Stay with all of us!”

Sighing, he eyed her.  “Yeah, I know.  What else am I gonna do?  Guess you guys ain’t the only ones with secrets anymore.  Or are you gonna tell ‘em ‘bout me too?”

She shrugged.  “That’s your call.  We’d help you find answers either way.”

Jecht looked around.  “So, this is the real world, huh?”  His lip curled.  “It’s a damn mess, if you ask me.”

Rikku could only agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 8/16: sped up the dialogue flow a bit, usual corrections.
> 
> ryht du ryht = lit. hand to hand, in this instance, “mano a mano” but there’s no Spanish in Spira
> 
> Lenne is singing the “Hymn of the Fayth” (decrypted and in English)


	33. Mambo de Chocobo

Rikku had a plan.  It was a good plan.  It was a  _ fantasteriffic _ plan.  It was a plan that did  _ not  _ involve getting hot, sweaty, and dusty hiking down the highway towards Luca.  After a hard day of fighting for supplies followed by the excruciating conversation with Jecht, she’d earned a break.  And so, when the sun rose the next day, she equipped herself with the necessary supplies to put  _ Operation Vacation Tan _ into action.

Rikku sighed and stretched against her bedroll-turned-sunning-towel.  “I could get used to this.”  

Of course, less than a minute later, the sound of approaching footsteps and rustling robes met her ears.   _ Ugh, that’s probably Auron and Braska.  Can’t a girl get any privacy around here? _

“... and we gathered enough supplies to set off for Luca today.  As soon as we find the others, we should leave; there’s no reason to delay any further.”  

_ Classic Auron. _  She groaned.

“It would seem we managed to unearth one of them, at least,” Braska responded.  “Rikku!  Have you seen Jecht?  He chose not to return last night, but Auron told me you two had – ”  He cut himself off, sputtering.

Rikku cracked one eye open.  “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”  The tone of Auron’s voice could wither grass.  “And why are you wearing  _ that _ again?”

She gave Auron a bored look.  “Hello, they’re my clothes?”  She gestured at her yellow bikini.  “And can you stop looming?  You’re in my sun.”

Braska looked away.  “Clothes… yes.  I seem to remember there being… more… of them.”

“Well, yeah, I’m not wearing the scarf or the sleeves.  Think of the tan lines!”  She shuddered.

Auron gave her a frosty look.  “That is not the travelling outfit we agreed upon.”  His gaze caught on her scrap of a skirt.  “I don’t even think  _ that _ qualifies as an outfit.”

Rikku pointed at him lazily – the sun felt too nice to get worked up.  “Relax, it’s not like I’m defenseless.  My belt is right here,” she added, patting the garment grid tucked in the folds of her discarded scarf.  “Besides, this is a perfectly respectable Al Bhed outfit.”

“Respectable?” Auron repeated, frustration leaking into his tone.  “The parts of you left to the imagination would fit on one hand!”

“Hey, I kept my straps on!”  Rikku protested, pulling at the shoulder buckles.  Then she looked down at her chest and huffed.  “And you don’t have to rub it in, you know.”   _ So what if I’m not in the same “Blitzball” league as Yuna or Paine? _

Auron flushed and turned away.  

Braska coughed; it sounded suspiciously like a stifled laugh.  “For what it’s worth, I would still describe you as a handful, Rikku.”  And yes, that  _ was _ a smirk.  

Rikku glared and sent Braska a rude gesture, mouthing, “I’ll show you  _ grief! _ ” 

“I am merely trying to help.”  Braska shrugged.  “Am I correct in assuming today’s lack of travel outfit means you do not wish to travel?”

“Duh,” Rikku agreed, settling back onto her roll.

“Which counts as a point in my favor,” he said to Auron.  “Another night at the agency won’t leave us destitute.”

Auron ran a hand over his face, and Rikku felt a miniscule pinprick – a mosquito bite, really – of guilt.  If she didn’t smooth this one over, it would end up itching for days afterwards.

“We can keep fiend hunting down the Mi’ihen Highroad.”   _ Braska owes me big for this! _  “We’ll make up that gil in no time!”  

“...Have it your way,” Auron replied, turning back towards her.  

Rikku scratched her head.  That was almost  _ too _ easy, at least for Auron.  She shrugged.  Maybe he really wanted a vacation too?  Whatever the reason, it was her policy not to look a gift chocobo in the beak.  Stretching her arms over her head, she sighed and wriggled into a better tanning position.

“At least for now, we can enjoy the view,”  Auron said with a mild smirk that fell away seconds later.  “But I want you to don your travelling gear while we’re hunting.  Luca may grant you a respite from wearing actual clothing, but the fiends along the Highroad won’t.”

Rikku scrunched her nose at him.   _ I can fight just fine in a bikini! _  She opened her mouth to object, but Braska beat her to the punch.

“I must protest,” he said staidly, clasping his hands.

“With Rikku wearing clothing?”  Auron's eyebrows rose.  At the rate they were going, it wouldn't be long before they declared independence from his face.

It was Braska’s turn to flush.  “No, not that –  _ Yevon’s mercy! _  I take issue with your assumption that I’m incapable of handling our money!”

Rikku sent Braska a disbelieving look; Auron mirrored it.  “Um... but can you really?  Not that it wasn’t sweet and all, but I figure getting me my own room didn’t come cheap?”   

In fact, she  _ knew _ it hadn’t; Auron had had to split the previous day’s profit into five – one for each of them, and a final share for their all-consuming debt.

Braska shifted uncomfortably.  “An opportunity to settle our monetary obligations will eventually present itself, I’m sure.”

Auron twitched.  “Your faith in other people is very strong, if not a bit misplaced, my lord.”

Rikku winced at the sudden formality.  She was starting to realize Auron only used the honorifics when he was reaching his limits.   _ Uh-oh. _

It was almost as if a chilly breeze blew between the two men.  Somewhere in the distance, a lonely chocobo warbled.  

After a long moment, Braska sagged and offered his proverbial white flag.  “Fine.  Maybe you are correct.  I admit my spending habits are, at times, a bit poorly informed...”

Auron grunted.

“... terribly uninformed, rather,” Braska corrected, “but that does not mean I cannot help us  _ earn _ the money we require.  I’m simply saying I wish to contribute.”

“So you wanna come fiend hunting with us?  You could’ve just said so and saved Auron’s forehead some wrinkles!”  Rikku rolled her eyes in exasperation.  “It’s fine by me – the more the merrier!”

Braska’s smile returned in full force.  “Thank you, Rikku!  I promise, I won’t disappoint you.”

Auron crossed his arms.  “That is not what I would be disappointed about,” he muttered, gazing at Rikku.  

She blinked at him. 

He blinked back.

Oh.   _Ooooh._  Apparently this was another _thing_ Auron had wanted to do with her – and _only_ her.  To her, spending an entire day up to her elbows in fiends’ torsos seemed more like torture than a date, but trust Auron to think the opposite _._ _He’s so bad at this; it’s almost cute._  It might have been _more_ cute if the area they’d canvassed yesterday hadn’t been infested with floating eyes.  Rikku suppressed her shudder and vowed to teach Jecht how to steal.

Finally, Auron sighed.  “Of course, my lord.  It will be good training for you.”  He managed a thin-lipped smile.  “I’ll make sure of it.”

“And for Jecht as well,” Braska hastily amended, sensing the impending danger.  “Perhaps we can learn to work more effectively as a team.”

“Nice save, Braska,” Rikku observed.  “Now you just have to sell the idea to Jecht!”

“I’ll just excuse myself to find him then,” Braska replied, trying to retreat from Auron’s ire.

“ ‘Ey!” Jecht hollered.  “There you all are!  I been lookin’ for you guys!”  He waved, jogging towards them.

Braska’s smile fell.  “Ah.  Jecht.  How fortunate that you stumbled over us just now.”

Rikku went to return his wave before freezing, suddenly nervous.  Jecht didn’t look any worse for wear, but you couldn’t always tell with him.  What if he was still mad at her?   _ Well, only one way to find out. _  Raising her hand, she shouted, “Heya!  Everything good?”

Jecht looked at Auron.  “According to the Stiff’s face, I’m doing better than y’all!”  He gave Rikku a look which she translated as,  _ ‘Everything’s shit, but what’cha gonna do about it?’ _   It could’ve been worse – then again, this was  _ Jecht _ .  He was already waggling his eyebrows at her.  “I’m fine.  You know me: Jecht, the invincible!”

Braska and Auron glanced between them.  “Did something happen last night?” Braska asked.

Jecht smirked, crossing his arms and leaning back.  “Wouldn’t you like to know?  I can have secrets too, man.  I’ve got  _ hidden depths! _ ”

“That’s – ” Auron began, undoubtedly with a barbed observation.  Rikku shook her head and made a slashing motion across her throat.  “ – not the phrase I would have chosen,” he finished.

“Y’know, sometimes I think Blondie makin’ ya more chatty was a mistake.”  Jecht popped his neck.  “But we’re gettin’ off track!  I got somethin’ important to tell you all!”

“What news are you so eager to bring us today?”  Braska asked.

Jecht punched his palm.  “We gotta rescue the chocobos here, pronto!”

“I wasn’t aware the chocobos needed saving,” Braska said.

“That’s the thing!” Jecht pressed on.  “If we don’t do somethin’, they’re gonna turn into monster chow!  Think of them poor widdle birdies,” he trailed off, before cooing mournfully.

“Hidden depths,” Auron repeated.

Jecht ignored him.  “See, I was askin’ around ‘bout renting more chocobos – ”

“Ah-ha!” Braska interjected.  Everyone swivelled to look at him.  “...Jecht is also unaccustomed to dealing with the costs of this Pilgrimage!  Even  _ I _ know we could not possibly afford to rent chocobos!”

“What?  Oh, naw, I meant the folks at the agency offered us a sweet deal.  We nip their monster problem in the bud, they lend us some chocobos for free!”  He laughed and rubbed the back of his head.  “How else would we pay for it?  Ain’t like we got any gil lyin’ around after you blew it all on Rikku’s room, right?”

“Yes. Thank you, Jecht,” Braska said, grin frozen and brittle on his face.  “Please, continue with this idea of yours.”

Jecht paused, before scowling at Auron and Braska.  “Look, if you all are actin’ funny ‘cause Blondie’s in a swimsuit, lighten up!  You don’t gotta fight like a pair of midfielders!  There’s enough of a view to go around.”   He grinned at Rikku.  “Nice rack, by the way!  You should let it out more often.”

Rikku sat up and pointed at Auron.  “See?  Even Jecht thinks my boobs are a fine size, you big meanie!”

A beat passed, and then Jecht tilted his head.  “Did he really...?” he asked, his tone incredulous.

“He did,” Braska agreed, serenely.

“Man, do I gotta teach you everythin’ about women?” Jecht exploded in disbelief.  “How much ground do you expect me to cover here?  Do you even know how babies are made?  ‘Cause at this rate you ain’t gonna find out!  A bro can only do so much!”

Auron groaned.  “Just drop it and tell us about this monster.”

“Oooo….kay.”   With another dubious look at Auron, Jecht continued.  “So there’s this fiend that’s been attackin’ the chocobos.  I was thinkin’ we could take care of it, maybe even make huntin’ it into one of them sphere things for the kids.”  He brightened.  “Adventure, y’know?  Chocobos, scary monsters, and big damn heroes savin’ the day!”

Braska nodded.  “An excellent idea!  Yuna would love it.  Rikku, do you have a free sphere?”

Rikku frowned.  She vaguely remembered Yuna’s tales of fighting a Chocobo Eater during the Pilgrimage.  That happened before she’d joined up; apparently it hadn’t ended well for any of them.  Not that it mattered; Rikku had her  _ own _ memories of a certain Anything Eater taking too much of a liking to her Samurai dressphere.

  
_ Well.  _  If this was anything like that fiend or the one that could take out Yuna’s entire party of Guardians – including Auron –  _ she _ wasn’t going to mess with it.  “Count me out,” she decided.

Auron sighed in relief.  “You’re right, this isn’t our problem – ”

  
“No, I’m with Jecht, I think this is a great idea!” Rikku corrected him.  “You boys go have your fun.  I just happen to have a  _ real _ date,” she glared at Auron, “with the sun today.”

“ _ Burn _ !” Jecht hooted, clapping Auron on the shoulder.  Auron’s dangerous gaze dropped to the point of contact, and Jecht removed the offending hand.  “Uh, I was talkin’ to Rikku.  Since she’s, uh, not helpin’ us, yeah.”  He turned to Rikku and flapped his arms.  “I hope you burn!  And it peels off your tan!”  

“Don’t act like fiend bait in my sun spot,” Rikku scolded Jecht, reaching for her belt pouch.  With a little rummaging, she found her prize and held it out to Auron.  “And here you go!  A brand new sphere, ready for recording.  Knock yourselves out!”

Auron looked down at the sphere in Rikku’s outstretched hand.  “What part of this idea – no, this entire day – is great?” he asked.  “I  _ knew _ we should have set off for Luca immediately.”

Rikku softened, feeling a little sorry for Auron.  She tugged his arm down and placed the sphere into his hand.  “Stop panicking,” she told him.

“I don’t panic,” Auron replied gruffly, refusing to meet her eyes.  He made no move to take the sphere.

“Look.  You called my boobs small, and I’m still talking to you.  It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes!  That’s how we learn, right?”  She pressed the sphere into his hand insistently.  “Just keep trying.  Not only with me.  With everything, you know?  If you think you’ve made a mistake, move forward and look for better answers for the next time.”

Auron took the sphere from her hand.  His fingers brushed hers.  “I’ll try,” he said, standing up and switching the sphere on.  “Where do we start?”  He held the recorder up, taking in their surroundings.

“A giant fiend that attacks chocobos…” Braska mused.  “It must be attracted by the tamed ones in the corral.  They would be easy prey.”

“What’s it waitin’ for?”  Jecht cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled.  “ ‘ey!  Come out and fight!”

Auron groaned.  “This is a waste of time.”

Jecht stopped shouting and scowled.  “ ‘ey, come on!  It’s the right thing to do!  Everyone’s depending on us.”  Braska approached him, staff already in hand.  Jecht grinned and shrugged.  “ ‘Sides, it’s good practice.”

  
Unexpectedly, Auron chuckled.  “I guess you’re right,” he relented, relaxing with a smile.

Braska’s expression also lightened.  “Well then – ”  

A series of panicked cries cut off whatever else he might’ve said; a flock of speeding chocobos thundered past, kicking up clouds of dust.  Auron fumbled and dropped the sphere.

Coughing and sputtering, everyone tried to wave the dust away.  

“I think that was –  ”  Braska’s words ended in a shout.  

A fiend, nearly as big as the travel agency itself, burst through the clouds of dust.  It was ugly – all fists and teeth and no neck to speak of – and its split jaw was open, twin tongues lolling out.  Flecks of saliva splattered everywhere – and everyone – as it ran past, hot on the heels of the fleeing chocobos.

Jecht gave chase, unsheathing his sword.  “There it is!  Auron!  Let’s get ‘im!”

“Right.”  Auron drew his own sword and took off after the other man.

Braska was quick to follow, pausing only to pick up and turn off the sphere Auron had dropped.  “Wish us luck, Rikku.  Are you sure you won’t come along?”

“Dream on,” Rikku answered, brushing herself off with her scarf.  “Chocobos and fiend spit aren’t going to stop me from having a vaycay.  I earned this!”  She sniffed.  “Good luck though,” she added, making a shooing motion.  “Hurry up before you lose them!”

With a final nod, Braska grasped his staff and followed the other two.  Rikku watched him disappear, feeling a momentary twinge of doubt, considering Auron’s disastrous future experience with the fiend.  “They’ll be fine,” she told herself firmly, flopping back down on her roll.  

The dust was settling and the chocobos, the fiends, and even her chatty companions were finally gone.  The sound of ocean waves lapping against the shore filled the air, and a few insects buzzed nearby.  Soon, the soothing heat and gentle noise lulled Rikku to sleep.

**.x.x.x.**

A soft voice roused her.  “Rikku.”  

Rikku blinked muzzily.  “Auron?”  She rubbed her eyes.  “Back already?”

“I couldn’t leave you,” he admitted, kneeling beside her.  “Not after what I said.”  He took her hand and lifted it to his lips.  “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” he added, voice deep.  His lips brushed ever-so-softly across her knuckles.  Rikku’s heart pounded.  “Even if Yuna’s and Paine’s are larger, your breasts are more than enough for me.”

_ Huh. _  “That was pretty direct,” Rikku said, off-balance.

“So is this,” Auron replied, leaning over her.  His face descended towards hers, eyes dark and full of promise.  “Rikku,” he groaned.

“Oh, Auron!” Rikku breathed, closing her eyes and puckering her lips.

“Rikku!” he said again, and this time he sounded more distant.  And less intimate.  And maybe a little more panicked.

  
Ignoring the noise, she pursed her lips harder.   _ Any minute now _ .  Auron opened his mouth again, and  _ boy _ did he need to brush his teeth.  But, that was okay, because he was  _ this close _ to finally delivering and –

“GRAWRARGH?”

Rikku opened her eyes and looked at the large, purple tongue waving overhead.   A moistened chocobo feather drifted downward and landed on her chest.  

  
The Chocobo Eater was staring at her, confused.  It snapped its massive jaw closed and pointed at itself with one huge, taloned finger.  “GWARARA?”

Rikku screamed and released a Fire spell directly into its face.

“WORST DREAM EVER!” she yelled, backrolling to her feet.  She fumbled for her garment grid before remembering where it was – lying on the ground next to her sleeves and scarf, discarded in the name of sun worship.

“Yikes,” Rikku gasped, skipping back a few paces until she was teetering at the edge of the cliff.  Somehow it didn’t seem quite as scary this time around.  “I guess Sin ruined me for Chocobo Eaters,” she grumbled, finding her footing and slipping into her battle crouch.  She catalogued her resources quickly – no Godhand, no daggers, no garment grid, no spheres.    _ Alright, so almost nothing, _ she thought, holding up her fists.  

The Chocobo Eater mirrored her and seemed to laugh, and with good reason.  A single one of its hands was already bigger than her entire body.  

Still, “almost” meant there was a _chance,_ and Rikku was good at taking chances.  Silently thanking Lulu once again, she let a small flame flicker to life in her hands and bounced on her heels.  “Hit me with your best shot!” she challenged.

The Chocobo Eater looked miffed and pointed at her ominously.

“Or better yet, don’t!” she amended, looking at the fiend’s raised fist.

Thankfully, Jecht, Auron, and Braska caught up to Rikku’s unexpected sun-and-fun party with the carnivorous fiend.

“Gotcha!” Jecht yelled.  “Oh, hey Blondie!” he added.  “Sorry, didn’t mean to herd it all the way back here!”

“Rikku!  Are you all right?”  Braska asked, concern writ across his face.

Auron pointed his sword at the fiend.  “Did you just try to kiss that thing?” he demanded.

_ Damn Auron and his eagle eyes! _  Rikku sulked.  “I thought it was someone else, alright?” she said defensively, throwing a bit of Fire towards the fiend’s feet to drive it away.

“Your last boyfriend must’ve been one ugly bastard,” Jecht observed, racing in to distract it – which drove the Chocobo Eater back towards Rikku’s side of the cliff.

“I was napping!” Rikku yelled back, before lighting another small spell under the monster’s feet.  It leapt back towards the men, squealing.  “Can’t you hunt it somewhere else?  This was  _ my _ spot first!” 

Auron slammed his sword into the fiend’s knees, knocking it flat on its back and sending it sliding towards her in a spin.  “Don’t avoid the question!  How could you mistake that thing for m – for  _ someone _ you would kiss?” 

Braska sent him a knowing look.  Jecht just snickered.

“GRWARARARARARAAARRRG!”  The fiend jackknifed back onto its feet and pointed a meaty finger towards the nearest target – which happened to be Braska.  It narrowed its beady little eyes, promising,  _ “You’re next!” _ to the Summoner.

Braska abruptly stopped laughing.  “Ahh… I don’t suppose someone else can take that punch?” 

“Think of it as training,” Auron growled and ducked as the fiend’s fist flew towards them.  He managed to somewhat deflect the creature’s aim with the broadside of his sword; Braska dodged the fiend’s talons in an awkward flail of flying robes.

“That was cold, man,” Jecht noted, taking the opportunity to land another solid hit on the Chocobo Eater, tipping it over once more.  “You still mad at him?”

Auron didn’t reply, instead batting the fiend towards the cliffside with his sword.  “Let’s knock it over the edge!” 

Rikku waved her arms frantically, still trapped on the wrong side of the huge – if now mostly harmless – Chocobo Eater.  “What the heck?  I’M STILL OVER HERE, YOU KNOW!” 

“Oh!”  Braska stood up, robes askew.  “We need to rescue Rikku!”

“Rescue me?  Rescue  _ yourselves _ , you mean!” Rikku yelled.  “I TOLD you guys I needed a vaycay!  And that was a really,  _ really _ good dream!”  She punctuated each word with another explosive Fire spell, bumping the hapless fiend several meters back towards them, which allowed her to reach her belt.  “In fact,” she continued, snapping it on.  The tingle of the magic enhancement ran up and down her spine, and she sent the others a nasty smile.  “Let me help you knock it off  _ that _ cliff!”  She launched into an arcane chant.

Braska blanched.  “Auron,” he said nervously, searching for an exit.  “Maybe you should apologize to Rikku.  Perhaps knocking it off the cliffside is not the best of plans?”

“She’s resourceful.  She’ll live.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jecht agreed, taking a cautious step backwards.  “But there ain’t nothin’ like the temper of an angry woman.  Got doubts if YOU’LL live, ya know?”

“GRWARAWAR,” the Chocobo Eater agreed miserably, waving its tiny feet in the air.

Auron whacked his sword against the fiend, volleying it towards Rikku like a gigantic living blitzball.  “If you hadn’t worn that  _ outfit _ today I wouldn’t have said  _ anything! _ ”

Rikku blasted the Chocobo Eater back towards Auron with a high-powered Fira spell.  “You mean you’d just be thinking it!” she shouted back, over the fiend’s flailing arms.

Auron drove his sword into the ground in frustration.  “That is not what I meant!  Why must you insist on misunderstanding me?”

Having had enough, the Chocobo Eater flipped back onto its feet and tried to beat a stealthy retreat into the bushes.  Even it seemed to know better than to get caught in the middle of a lover’s spat.  

Rikku herself didn’t particularly care, as she finally had an open line of sight towards Auron. “Because you don’t even try to understand me!” she shot back.  “These are my clothes, okay?  Deal with them!  And who thinks of  _ fiend hunting _ as a first date, huh?”

Both Braska and Jecht stared.  Even the Chocobo Eater froze and looked at Auron. 

Seething, Auron yanked his sword out of the ground.  “I’M SORRY, ALL RIGHT?” he yelled, charging the retreating fiend.  

“GWAR?”

Sliding to a stop, he swung his sword, batting the fiend over the cliffside and out towards the water with a Shooting Star.  The sound of the Chocobo Eater’s howling faded.  It twinkled in the sky once before landing with the faintest whisper of a  _ plink _ into the distant ocean.

Jecht whistled.  “Maybe it’ll find that blitzball you lost in Bevelle,” he noted.

Panting, Auron turned around and sheathed his sword, looking at Rikku.  “I’m new at this,” he said simply.

“... I suppose this takes care of the bounty,” Braska cut in.  He pulled at a reluctant Jecht and shoved him down the road.  “Why don’t you and I visit the agency and see to collecting our reward?”

“ _ Right _ ,” Jecht drawled, smirking at Auron and Rikku as they left.

The sun was starting to set – Rikku’d been napping for longer than she’d thought – and she approached Auron, coming to a stop when they were nearly face-to-face.  She flashed him a tiny, uncomfortable smile.  “So… I got a little mad there, I guess.”  Then she leaned on one hip.  “You did try to drop me off a cliff.  Got anything to say for yourself?”

Auron gave her a serious look.  “I am sorry.  I meant no insult... to your chest, or your choice of clothing.”  Then he looked at her again, lips twitching upwards.  “And you do look good.”

Rikku beamed, irritation falling away.  “It’s cool.  Maybe you’re really not that smooth after all.”  She gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder.  “It makes you less intimidating!”

Auron caught her hand and pulled it away.  “I’m not sure I like that,” he joked.  “I hardly garner any respect among the rest of you as it is.”

“You don’t need us to be afraid of you,” Rikku replied, doing a victory jig.  It was slightly more ridiculous looking than usual, considering that Auron was still holding her hand, thereby forcing him to swing his arm to her dancing.  “We like you enough to make fun of you.  Isn’t that a good feeling?”

Auron rolled his eyes.  “Oh yes.  Very warm and fuzzy on the inside.  Perhaps you’ll catch me weaving friendship bracelets for us next.”  He pulled Rikku in and planted a kiss against her forehead, expression gentling.  “Today was… fun.”

“Even without me?”  Rikku pouted, still swinging his arm.

Auron squeezed her hand, looking out over the ocean.  “There is something to be said for simply enjoying yourself.  Braska has always told me to live for the moment.”  He shook his head.  “Maybe he’s right.”

“About some things,” Rikku hummed in agreement.  “Promise me you won’t read any of his poetry if he offers, though,” she added as an afterthought.

Auron looked at her curiously.  “I can guarantee nothing,” he replied, tugging her towards the travel agency.

“Wait a sec!”  Rikku pulled away and rushed back to her now-ruined sunning spot to gather her things.  “You know, you just guaranteed us a free chocobo ride to Luca, which means we’ll breeze by all the fiends on the Highroad.”  She finished packing, stood up, and peered at him, bedroll under one arm.  “But stop worrying about the money!  We’ll be fine; I have a plan.”

“A plan?” Auron repeated.  A vague look of horror crept into his expression.  “You, a master thief...  Have a plan to make money...  In a large city.”  He paused.  “Are you about to make us wanted criminals?”

Rikku scowled and marched past him, holding her head high.  “Hey!  My plans are foolproof!  It’s a good one, I swear, and perfectly legal too!”  _...I think. _

Taking one last, wistful look out over the peaceful ocean vista, Auron sighed heavily.  “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16: very few minor updates


	34. Warmup

“...Seriously, don’t it?”  Jecht stood at the base of a large statue, squinting upwards.  He crossed his arms and tilted his head to the right.

“For the last time,  _ no _ .  He does not look like you.  Lord Mi’ihen is a hero of Spira.   _ You _ are a little-known Guardian who can’t even properly dismount a chocobo,” Auron said as he finished gathering their supplies.  “Be thankful Rikku was fast enough to catch yours before it got too far down the Highroad.”

“And on foot, too,” Rikku added as she limped closer.  “Do you know how hard it is to run down an angry chocobo?  You  _ suck _ .”  She flopped down onto the ground.  “I brought them all back to the stable, Braska.  Now, let me die in peace.”

“Oi, thanks, Blondie,” Jecht greeted, still squinting at the sculpture’s face.  He canted his head in the opposite direction.  “Say, Rikku, does this Mi’ihen guy look like me?”

Braska twitched in annoyance, leaning against the base of the statue depicting the behemoth Mi’ihen had proudly slain.  “Jecht, it is simply the hair.”

“Says you,” he grumbled, giving the statue another doubtful glance.  Shaking his head, he turned away and beamed.  “So, Luca, huh?  I can smell Blitzball in the air – tell me about this place!”  He rocked on his heels, looking eagerly towards the stone stairs that led to the sprawling city.

They were close enough that foot traffic had become a common sight along the Highroad’s well-worn path.  Most travelers seemed to be heading towards the city as if drawn by gravity magic.  The eclectic mix of pedestrians ranged from stern-faced Ronso to outlandishly-attired Al Bhed.  There were even a few Guado passing by, though they said little and eyed the other races with thinly-veiled suspicion. 

Braska smiled as he took in the distinctive groups of travellers.  “Luca is the second largest settlement in Spira, as well as the crusaders’ darling.  The Blitzball season is just beginning, so everything is a bit livelier than usual.”

“Luca is also the bane of Yevon’s eye, even more than the Al Bhed,” Auron said.  “But the people of Spira cherish Blitzball more than the Teachings, so more  _ eccentricities _ are tolerated here.” 

“It is the place where all can gather to forget their woes, if just for a short while,” Braska finished.  He stopped and glanced at Rikku, who hadn’t yet moved.  “I am surprised by your reserve, Rikku, considering the subject matter.”

Rikku threw her arm over her eyes.  “You try holding a conversation after keeping pace with a chocobo.  My feet are killing me!”

Braska kneeled and raised his hands.  The soft glow of a curative spell settled around her ankles, soothing away her soreness.  “Come.  Jecht is eager to be off, and, to be honest, I am as well.  The excitement here is catching.”

“Catching like a rash,” she grunted, dragging herself to her feet.  Still, she couldn’t deny that the Cure had helped. 

The others started strolling down the path, Jecht jogging ahead to catch a view of the city’s Blitzball stadium. 

“Hey!  Wait for me!”  Dusting herself off, she chased after them.

Braska’s entourage was only one group of many.  The tourists were streaming in; in anticipation of the influx of visitors, Luca had not disappointed.  Huge, colorful balloons, marking the annual Blitzball Tournament, swayed gently in the breeze.  Far to the left of the city, a large windmill towered over the surrounding buildings, brightly-decorated sails slowly turning.  Towards the waterside, the Sphere Theater could be seen; the pristine, gull-shaped roof shone in the bright sun.  In the center of the city, the large, open market plaza drew the eye, buzzing with crowds of Blitzball fans.  A broad avenue led to the water in a direct path towards the main attraction.  

And there, at the end of the concourse, was the stadium.  The dock torches surrounding it were already lit, sending huge, rainbow-colored flames towards the sky.

Jecht stared in open-mouthed fascination.  “Is that the stadium?  It’s better than I thought it’d be!”  He was grinning from ear to ear – they wouldn’t be getting out of Luca without one Blitzball game under their belts,  _ at least _ .  “You guys even got flames goin’ on here?  I gotta see this up close!”  

_ Perfect, _ Rikku thought, with a mischievous smile.

“Yuna would love this view,” Braska said.  “It is much more exciting than Bevelle.  Auron, would you do the honors?”

“You want  _ me _ to make another recording?”  He stared at Braska in shock.  “Of  _ this? _ ”  

Braska hummed in agreement and pushed an empty sphere into his hands.  

Auron scowled.  “When did I become our party’s archivist?”

“Considering you did so well the last time, I thought you might actually enjoy it,” Braska laughed.  “Perhaps there is a career waiting for you at the Luca Broadcast Corporation.”

Sighing heavily, Auron pocketed the recording sphere.  “Interviewing sphere stars.  What a bright future you imagine for me.”  Straightening, he assumed his  _ business _ voice.  “I will do as you ask later.  For now, we should secure lodgings near the docks.”  He turned a stern eye on Jecht, who was fidgeting with impatience.  “Remember, we are not here simply to enjoy the festivities; our ultimate goal is to book passage to Kilika.”

“ ‘ey, c’mon!  You can’t come to the Blitzball capital of Spira and  _ not _ blitz!” Jecht protested.

Rikku looked at Auron sidelong.  “He’s right, you know.  And, since it’s tournament season, the docks are gonna be packed anyhow.  We’ll be lucky if we can find something all the way out here near the Highroad.”

Auron crossed his arms and looked at Braska.  “And this is why I said our funds were insufficient.”  He frowned.  “We’re not camping on fishnets again!”

Braska whistled and turned away, as if he hadn’t heard the complaint.

“Relax, you guys!”  Rikku danced ahead, arms behind her back.  She ducked a little and smiled, swinging her braids around for the maximum  _ cute  _ effect.  It caught Auron’s attention, although his expression was one of suspicion – not appreciation.  “I  _ told _ you I had a plan!  Leave it to Rikku!”

Braska smiled broadly, clapping.  “I knew Yevon would provide a way!”  

Rikku pouted.  

“Apologies,” he continued.  “Your cleverness is your own, of course.  Enlighten us?”

“Well, it goes something like this: you and Auron go into the city and have some fun.  Make that sphere recording, grab a bite to eat – ”

“Remember, they got sweet rolls here!”  Jecht punched the air; Auron elbowed him.

“ – while Jecht and I go scout the Blitzball teams.”

“I knew we were friends for a reason!” Jecht cut in again, this time with an excited hop.

Auron was looking at her as though she didn’t understand the meaning of the word  _ plan. _  “Blitzball teams usually scout the players,” he pointed out.  “I don’t see how this will get us anywhere.”

“Wrong!”  Rikku grabbed Jecht and wrapped an arm around his neck, which was harder than it looked, since he was so tall.  Still, he crouched down willingly.   _ Smart man. _  “ _ We _ happen to be a hot commodity here.  Jecht is an ace Blitzer, and I’m not half bad, either!  Between the two of us, we’ll make enough money to coast through the rest of this Pilgrimage!”

“Fame and fortune!” Jecht agreed, shaking her off.  “The fame is gonna be all me, because _ I’m _ the best!”  He leapt and twisted, kicking an imaginary blitzball through the air.

She sighed and planted her hands on her hips, unable to argue.  Jecht was a forward after all; midfielders like herself rarely got the spotlight.  Still, she knew she was good, even if she didn’t brag as loudly as Jecht.  Rikku pulled her goggles over her eyes.

“That’s a new look for you,” Braska said.  “Will you be wearing those into the city?”

She nodded and took a deep breath.  “There’s a lot of Al Bhed in Luca right now.  I don’t want anyone to know I’m here.”   _ If someone recognizes me, it’ll probably make the future go kablooie!  _  “Actually, it might be time for  _ Rikkma _ to make a reappearance.”  

Truthfully, the Al Bhed encampment on the docks didn’t worry her nearly as much as the presence of the Besaid Aurochs did.  They had to be here, she knew; Wakka didn’t keep their 23-year losing streak by  _ missing _ one of the tournament games.  

She wondered how old he was; they’d never questioned each other’s ages during their journey.  Well,  _ no one _ questioned  _ Lulu _ about her age, at least – Tidus had tried once, but she’d gotten such a dangerous glint in her eye that he’d stopped halfway through asking.

Still, when she’d first met Wakka, he’d seemed  _ ancient _ .   _ Wonder if he’d think the same if he saw me now. _  She sniggered at the role reversal, before realizing that made  _ her _ old.  Hiccupping, she sternly resolved not to think about it.

Raising a hand, she turned to the others.  “Are we ready?  Keep an eye on the sphere broadcasts to check our progress.  You won’t be disappointed!”  She smiled.  “Or you could actually invest in tickets and watch us play in the stadium.”

“I think we will do just that,” Braska agreed happily.

Auron pinched the bridge of his nose.  “With what gil?  No,  _ nevermind. _ **No** , my lord.” 

Braska frowned. 

Auron ignored him.  “The tournament doesn’t even begin until tomorrow.  What are we doing about lodging for tonight,  _ before _ your ‘fame and fortune’ arrives?”

Rikku winked and drew a small flask out her pocket.  “Go book someplace swanky,” she instructed, handing it to him.  “With room service!  And heated baths!  And… and… massages,” she added quickly.

“What is this?” Auron asked, holding up the vial; twin balls of light chased each other in mesmerizing circles, letting off a melodic hum.  

“Sin’s contribution to our Pilgrimage,” Rikku answered, crossing her arms in satisfaction.  “Twin Stars are worth almost as much as Farplane Winds.  Don’t blow it all in one place like last time, alright?”

Jecht rubbed the back of his head but said nothing.

_ Huh _ , Rikku thought with a tiny smirk.   _ Looks like Jecht  _ **_can_ ** _ learn after all. _

Auron looked at her, for once seemingly at a loss for words.  Besides its monetary value, he’d witnessed what she’d done to obtain it.  “... I’ll make sure this gift is properly appreciated,” he said, expression warm and wondering.

“Thank you, Rikku,” Braska added, bowing.  “I wish I could repay you for this kindness.”

Rikku gave them a thumbs up.  “Then watch the games today.  We’re gonna blow you out of the water,” she promised.  

Jecht whooped in agreement before high-fiving her.  

“Pow-wow at the central monument after the show’s over?” she asked.  Auron gave her a tight nod, and Rikku decided to push him a little.  “Relax!  And give a girl a kiss for luck?”

“Hnn,” he replied, beginning to look amused.  Reaching over, he ruffled her hair and planted a chaste kiss squarely on her forehead.  “Next time, specify where,” he finished, quietly.

Rikku gaped before pouting.   _ Tease. _  “Fine.  We don’t need luck, we’ve got skill!  C’mon Jecht!  Let’s do it!”

“Yeah!” Jecht agreed, grinning broadly.  “...After the sweet rolls!”

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku squinted at a tiny sphere screen while Jecht lounged at her side and munched on a roll.  He sent a layer of crumbs skittering over the floor; the half-beast attendant sweeping the carpet shot them a dirty look.  It wasn’t the first.

“I asked you to help out, not make the workers here hate us, you know,” Rikku observed, most of her attention still on the archived game on the screen.

“Whatever,” Jecht grunted, licking the last of the sticky dough from his fingers.  He burped and put his feet up on the table.

She turned away from the screen.  “Jecht,” she hissed.  “Put your feet down!  Just because we paid to get in here doesn’t mean they won’t kick us out!”

“Fine,” he groused, removing his feet and leaning forward.  “So what?  You found us our marks yet?”

Sighing, she shut off the sphere screen and stretched her arms over her head.  “Well, as far as I can tell, the worst team in the league right now is the Besaid Aurochs.”  That was no surprise;  _ everyone _ knew the Aurochs were bad.  That most of their losses were due to a string of bad luck, rather than a lack of talent, was unexpected, though.  And then there was the fact that Wakka hadn’t played in any of the games she’d watched – she wondered if it was a coincidence.

“So we’re gonna offer our services to these Aurochs?”  Jecht picked at his teeth.  “Bring the underdogs the championship?”

“No!” Rikku squealed.  The attendant switched his glare to her.  Hunching, she lowered her voice.  “No, I think the Aurochs are a bad choice.  If you wanna go for the real underdogs, that would be the Ronso Fangs.  They’re still relatively new to Blitzball – looks like the Ronsos’ interest in sports is pretty recent.  They have the talent, but they don’t know how to use it.”

“Ronso,” Jecht repeated, scratching his head.  “Why does that sound familiar?”  He slapped a fist on the table.  The attendant squawked.   “Wait, ain’t they those big blue furry cat guys?  You mean they can  _ swim? _ ”

Rikku nodded.  “Yeah!  But not well.”  She pulled up an exhibition game and motioned Jecht to watch.  “They’re slow, but very powerful.  And competitive.”  The opposing team scored a goal – immediately, an underwater scuffle broke out.  The Ronso catcher punched the scorer, who flew right out of the sphere pool.  “They don’t like losing.”

Jecht grinned.  “Hungry, huh?  Sounds like my kinda team.   Alright, let’s go find ‘em and make ‘em winners!”

“Not so fast!”  Rikku searched through the sphere recording.  “It says they’re on Dock Four this year.  We have to convince them to take us on first.”  Shutting down the display table, she stood up and stretched.  “The Ronso are proud and direct.  Don’t try to smooth talk them.  Just show them your moves and guarantee them a win.”

“Anything to get outta here,” Jecht agreed, leading the way outside.  It was obvious he was glad to escape the Sphere Theater’s solemn atmosphere.  “This place is way too stuffy!”  He made a face at their aggrieved attendant as he passed.

Privately, Rikku agreed with Jecht; the return to open air and the city’s buzzing energy was refreshing.  “Docks, here we come!” she cheered, setting off toward the stadium’s long gangway.

Strolling down the painted steps, Jecht drunk in his surroundings.  “This reminds me of the good ol’ days in Zanarkand,” he hummed.  “Did I ever tell you ‘bout that?  Bein’ a superstar at home, I mean.”

Rikku rolled her eyes in amusement.  “Only about a million times a day.  I’m in a good mood though, so you can serenade me one more time if you want.”

Jecht laughed.  “Well, Zanarkand was big enough to have six different districts.  We divvied it up into four teams per district, so twenty-four teams, not countin’ them junior and minor leagues.  I played for the Abes in A-East.”

Rikku took a moment to digest that.  “Wow.  You guys must have really loved Blitzball!  Right now all of Spira is gathered here to play, but we still only have six teams.”

Jecht nodded.  “My Zanarkand was a world of its own,” he said.  “Lots more people there.  And lots more blitzin’ too.  Kept us entertained, I guess.”  He shrugged.  “I try not to think about it too much.  When I started hittin’ the bottle too hard, I wondered sometimes if that was it – if there was nothin’ more to life than blitzin’ for twenty-four teams full of cocky assholes just like me.”  His tone sobered, and his gaze went distant.  “Didn’t actually think I was right.”  He barked out a dry laugh.  “At least I can get my Blitz game back on track here.”

Rikku draped her hands on her head, turning Jecht’s words over in her mind.  ”Say… how  _ did _ Sin bring you here?  What happened?”

“It’s not a fun trip to remember.”  Jecht rubbed the back of his head.  “I wasn’t all that sober either, mind.  And I wasn’t tryin’ to off myself, no matter what bullshit the tabloids were runnin’!” 

Rikku gaped.  Jecht,  _ suicidal _ ?

He scowled.  “ ‘ey!  I ain’t jokin’!  Just ‘cause I drunk a little too much didn’t mean I was a damn head case!  No one ever tried trainin’ out that far in the ocean before.  I wanted to be the first.”  He smirked.  “Everyone in Zanarkand was always so afraid of leavin’ the city.   _ There’s nothin’ but water out there, Jecht.  You’re crazy!  _  That’s what they said.  Bunch of spineless mice, all shiverin’ their whiskers at each other.  Well, not me!  I ain’t afraid of anything!”

“But… there  _ was _ something to be afraid of, right?” she asked slowly.  “You’re lucky Sin didn’t attack your city when it appeared.”

Jecht snorted at her.  “Sin didn’t  _ appear.  _  Hell, I didn’t even know what it was ‘till I saw the fin underwater!  I’d have been a goner if I wasn’t a Blitzer.  I got sucked into this giant whirlpool – wasn’t any use tryin’ to get back to the surface.  I figured if it wouldn’t let me go back up, might as well go down.  So I just swam towards whatever it was, fast as I could.  Then, the water disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“Yeah.  Like, I knew I was swimmin’ down an’ all, but I broke into the center of the world or somethin’.  I always thought the ocean had a bottom, but up and down got switched, and all of a sudden I was fallin’ through the sky.”  He frowned.  “Or maybe floatin’.  I dunno.  All I remember is when I hit the water again, it  _ hurt _ .  I was black an’ blue for days after they fished me out.”

Rikku nodded.  “So you fell out of the sky and landed in the ocean near Bevelle.”

“Bevelle?  Hell naw, Blondie!  I landed someplace called Baaj. They said Sin attacked; it must’ve destroyed damn near everything, ‘cause there wasn’t much of a city left, from what I saw,” he added.  “Not much standin’ but the temple when I came.  The priests there wrapped me up and crated me off to Bevelle like a pack of dried fish.”  He shrugged.  “An’ then I met you and Braska and Auron.  Not much else to tell.”

_ Fell out of the sky near Baaj? _  Rikku narrowed her eyes in thought.  Tidus had ended up near the Baaj Ruins too, the first time they met.  Maybe it  _ wasn’t _ just a coincidence.  “You know what I said about your Zanarkand?  Maybe I’m wrong – not about the Fayth and the dreams and stuff,” she added quickly, seeing a fleeting look of hope pass across Jecht’s face.  “About your dream Zanarkand not being real.  It sounds to me like it might really exist somewhere out there.  I mean, down being up, up being down, and falling out of the sky?”  

“What’re you gettin’ at, Blondie?”

She formed a circle with her hands.  “What if your dream Zanarkand is like one of Braska’s aeons?  Really out there, one big city floating in the sky over the ocean?  Maybe you swam too far down and fell out of the edge of it.  But that would mean you could really go back, wouldn’t it?  We’d just have to find it.”  She paused, suddenly remembering the lack of airships in the present world.  “Uh… and learn how to fly too, I guess.”

Jecht stopped walking and fell silent, his look pensive. 

“Jecht?” Rikku asked carefully.

“No.”  He turned to her, expression serious.  “No way.  Even if it’s really there…”  He shook his head.  “I can’t.  Not after comin’ here.  All that stuff you said about it not bein’ real… that ain’t exactly wrong.  My Zanarkand never sleeps.  We eat, we drink, we blitz, but we don’t  _ live _ .  Not the way you people do here.  I thought all them others were scared little mice.  But maybe it wasn’t their fault, not really.  Maybe that’s the way we were  _ made _ to be.  I was the weird one, tryin’ to drink my way to some real answers when it all seemed hollow.  I couldn’t go back no more, not knowin’ what I do now.  That ain’t livin’.  That’d be runnin’ away from the truth.”  His face hardened.  “I gotta bring Tidus here.  That boy’ll turn into me otherwise.  He asks too many questions.  He ain’t stupid-happy like the rest of ‘em either.”

Rikku regarded him.  “Why don’t you ever say stuff like that to Auron?  He’d stop ribbing you about being dumb.”

“Say what?  He’d just get on my case about bein’ a… a…”

“An aeon?” she supplied helpfully.

“I was gonna say  _ dream _ ,” Jecht said, chortling, “but yours sounds cooler.  ‘Sides, Auron’s still got a head full of his own problems.  You’re givin’ him an assist, but he ain’t anyone to go to for help with the deep stuff.”  He grinned.  “You need it killed, that’s Auron.  Need a hug and a shoulder to cry on, that’s Braska.  But you want some answers?  That’d be you.  All that airhead jazz ain’t hiding what you really got goin’ on behind them swirly eyeballs.”

“Thanks, I guess?”  The idea of anyone coming to her for advice made her eyes cross.   _ Is this how Braska feels all the time? _

Jecht shrugged.

Before Rikku could gather her thoughts and respond, she frowned.  “We’re in the wrong place,” she said, taking in their surroundings.  “This is where the Besaid Aurochs are staying.”  Adjusting her goggles self-consciously, she put her head down and began walking past the dock.

“ ‘Ey!  Blondie!  Wait up!  I didn’t scare ya did I?”  Surprised, Jecht jogged to catch up.

“Shh!”  Rikku looked around.   _ No Wakkas spotted, _ she noted with some relief.  “It’s not that!  It’s just that I don’t wanna meet any of the Aurochs,” she whispered.  “We have a kinda-sorta history going on here, alright?”

“Ooh!”  Jecht brightened.  “Drama!  This is great!”

“It’s not great!”  Rikku threw up her hands and stomped away.

“Blondie, uh, watch out – ”

She plowed headlong into a small figure in her path, sending them both sprawling to the ground.

The kid sprang to his feet, rubbing his butt.  “Oww!  Watch it, ya!”

_ I know that voice. _  Sure, it was a little younger and a bit more high pitched than she remembered, but there was no mistaking that Besaid accent.  

Cringing, Rikku opened her eyes and saw a pair of sandaled feet.  With a gulp, her gaze travelled up the baggy pants – yellow, of course, and strapped closed with a multitude of bright blue cinches – a small, tanned torso, still lacking in muscle definition, and a blue bandana holding up a shock of wild, red hair.  

_ Disasterrific _ .

“Damn!” Jecht said as he reached them.  “I tried to warn ya!  Hey kid, are you –  _ Tidus? _ ”

The boy eyed them both, before shrugging – a true Besaid native, unfazed by anything.  “No idea who you’re talking about.  Name’s Chappu,” he said.  He stuck out his his chest proudly. 

_ Oh, Wakka _ , Rikku thought. 

“S-sorry, kid,” Jecht managed.  “You look a little like my son.”

Chappu gave them a bright smile.  “No harm, no foul, mister.  You looked like you were in a hurry there.  Are you playing for one of the other teams?”  He studied Rikku.  “The Psyches, ya?  You both better get outta here before my brother comes by.  He’s not a fan.  Says they play dirty.”  He flushed slightly.  “No offense.”

Rikku stood, eying the cheerful boy.  Instincts told her to run, but…  _ maybe _ she was homesick.  Just a little  _ teensy _ bit.  She smiled at Chappu.  “You know, we don’t play for the Psyches.  We’re free agents!”

“Oh!” Chappu said.  “It’s too bad you’re… you know.”  He gestured at Rikku’s outfit.  “The Aurochs could use a little help.  We’ve been short on manpower since Sin attacked.  Wiped out most of the old team.”  He gaze drifted downward.

Rikku’s heart clenched.  In the smaller communities, Blitzball was often passed down as a family tradition.  “But your brother made it out alright,” she said, patting Chappu on the shoulder.

“Oh yeah!  Wakka just joined the team.  He’s only thirteen, though, so he’s warming the bench.  Don’t tell him, but Cap’n says he’s gotta put on more muscle before he can play with the big boys.”

Jecht was gaping again.  “Thirteen?  You guys don’t have a junior league here?”

Chappu snorted proudly.  “Wakka’s been playing since he was six!  Blitzing is his dream!  One day he’s gonna make it big and bring home the Championship.  And me and Lu, we’re gonna be right there with him, ya!”

“Sorry, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen this year,” Rikku told him sympathetically.   _ Or ever, for you. _

Deflating, Chappu nodded in agreement.  Apparently he was more realistic than his brother.  ”Don’t I know it.  We’re gonna suck so bad this year.”  He sighed.  “ _ Again _ .”

“Hey, kid, chin up,” Jecht said.  “This is just a bad break.  It’ll pass.”

Rikku slapped her face, knowing Jecht was giving her a pleading look, as if to say,  _ Can’t we play for this team instead? _  She scowled and said, “No, Jecht.”  

Chappu’s wide grin turned a bit rueful, but he didn’t push it.

“Well, good luck, kid,” Jecht said.  “If you find me after the tournament, maybe I can show you a few tricks!”

Chappu shook his head.  “No thanks, stranger.  My girlfriend’s already in the stands, and we got a date after the big game.  Can’t keep a lady waiting, ya?”  He waved and dashed off towards the city.

“Weird kid,” Jecht mused, his mind obviously on Tidus.

Rikku shivered.   _ Did I really just meet Wakka’s dead brother? _  Another thought occurred.   _ Lulu’s here?  Does she already dress in leather and lace?   _ Curiosity killed the cat, sure, but a part of her was cackling at the prospect of seeing her former mentor and idol as a child. 

“Blondie?” 

Lulu’s favorite lesson popped into her head:  _ Focus! _  “Yeah, we should hustle.  We have less than an hour to find the Fangs and convince them to let us join!”

“Right!” Jecht said, as they hurried towards their destination.  “So tell me about this team.”

“Would it have killed you to pay attention in the theater?” she groused before relenting.  “The Fangs aren’t that good.  They’re power hitters – both for scoring and interceptions, but they’re slow.  Their defense is weak.  Still, it shouldn’t be too hard win an exhibition game, especially if we’re helping them out.”  She slowed down, seeing a telltale flash of dour blue.  “There they are!”

Jecht pushed ahead with a swagger.  “ ‘ey there, big guy!  Are you lookin’ to win the tournament this year?”

The tall beast crossed his arms and looked down at Jecht – a decent feat considering Jecht’s height.

Nervously, Rikku elbowed Jecht out of the way.  “What he means to say is that we’re free agents.  My name’s Rikkma, and this guy here is Jecht.”  Thinking quickly, she performed a halfhearted bow to the guard.

The Ronso unfolded his arms and fixed his golden stare on Rikku.  “Al Bhed follows teachings of Yevon?”

_ Hooked. _  Grinning, Rikku straightened.  “Like Jecht said, we’re here to help.  We know you guys are new at this, and we wanna see your team succeed.”

“Ronso take care of Ronso problems.”  The guard sniffed, crossing his arms again and losing interest.  

“Well, you’ve got more than a few,” Rikku said quickly.  “You guys haven’t won a single game since you started playing!  I know; I’ve watched all of them!”

The Ronso’s expression remained impassive, but his tail twitched in agitation.  

“We’re not sayin’ you’re bad,” Jecht cut in, holding his hands up in a placating manner.  “We’re just sayin’ we might be able to teach you some new tricks.  Game changers, if ya know what I mean.” 

Rikku nodded, dancing in place.  “Uh-huh!  Hire us and we’ll, uh, restore your honor!  Do it for your people.  Let’s show Spira that Ronso pride!”

The guard glared at them for a few moments longer, then nodded slightly.  “You see Gazna.  Gazna lead us.  He decide.”

_ And sunk! _  Rikku gave Jecht an excited thumbs up.  They followed their still-nameless guide onto their ship, and a few things became immediately obvious.  The ship was chartered – the crew was human, and they were scared witless of their Ronso passengers.

“Damn!  These guys are huge!” Jecht whistled.  Said Ronso were lounging all over the ship.  A large female leaned against a wall and observed them with an unblinking stare.  Another male stood at the foot of the stairs, tail twitching as he watched them approach.

Of course, Jecht was both delighted and unaffected by the close scrutiny of the dangerously fanged and clawed creatures dwarfing him.  Most likely he was thinking only of the advantage the Ronso builds would provide in the game.  

_ Typical Jecht _ , she thought as they walked deeper into the ship.

The few humans they passed were either fearfully scurrying between their cabins or hiding behind the potted plants scattered through the hold.  

Finally, they stopped before a plain cabin door, and their silent companion knocked once.  It swung open, and their guide ushered them inside.

A heavy-set, bearded Ronso in a yellow blitzing uniform looked up.  He sat behind a desk, papers scattered before him.  From her vantage point, they looked like rough sketches of Blitzball formations.  At his side, a much smaller Ronso flipped through the papers and made a few notations.

The seated Ronso growled.  “Zamzi.  You disturb with intruders?”  His piercing tone turned menacing.  “With Al Bhed?”

_ Uh-oh _ .  “We’re free agents,” she cut in, waving.  “Rikkma and Jecht, at your service.”

A rumbling growl echoed through the small room.

“We’re Guardians!” Rikku added nervously.  “In the service of the Summoner Lord Braska!”

The growl cut off.  Every Ronso in the room looked surprised.  “Al Bhed… Guardian?”  The Ronso behind the desk stood slowly, keeping his hands on the table.  “I am Gazna, captain of Ronso Fangs.”   He performed a clumsy bow.  “Small one Zev, guide is Zamzi.  You honor us with visit.”  

Rikku nudged Jecht, and after a moment, he returned Gazna’s bow.   “Don’t get that response often.” 

“Ronso care little for politics of humans.  Summoner Braska honors Spira.”  Gazna tilted his head.  “Why do Guardians come here?”

“We ain’t here as Guardians today,” Jecht said.  “We’re Blitzers, too.  We wanna sign on with the Fangs.”

Gazna crossed his arms and said nothing.  Zev, the smaller Ronso, stepped forward.

“You want to help Ronso?”  Zev’s tail lashed back and forth in excitement.  “You will play for Fangs?”

Behind them, Zamzi spoke up, his tone harsh.  “Be silent!  Elder speaks!  Runt only listens!”

“Fangs lose again this year!” Zev replied.  “Ronso need help!  Guardians offer help!  Zev will not not be silent!”

“Ronso take care of Ronso problems!” Zamzi repeated, crouching and baring his fangs.  

The two growled at each other before Gazna raised a hand and closed it into a fist.  Zamzi and Zev fell silent.  

“Why?” Gazna asked.

Rikku bit her lip, weighing her options.  The Ronso were notoriously fussy about things like honor and pride, but Kimahri was one of her besties.  He’d taught her how to navigate these waters.  “We need money,” she told him, and ignored Jecht’s incredulous stare.

Zev recoiled, Gazna’s gaze turned frosty, and Zamzi snorted.  “Al Bhed,” he scoffed.  “No pride.”

Rikku raised her voice.  “We need money for Lord Braska’s Pilgrimage,” she amended.  “Yevon doesn’t support Braska.  He’s an outsider and he needs help.  And you need help with Blitzball.  You’re outsiders too.  We can help each other.”  She turned her head slowly and met Zamzi’s eye.  “We’d give up our pride to continue on the Pilgrimage.   _ Would you? _ ”  _ Thanks, Kimahri. _

After a long moment, Zamzi dropped his gaze.  When Rikku turned back, it was to find Gazna looking at her in approval.  “How would you help Fangs?” he asked.

“I’m a star player,” Jecht answered.  “Rikk… uh… ma’s pretty good too.  Between the two of us, we can bring home the title.”  He flexed his muscles and grinned.  “We got the moves if you got the team.”

Gazna motioned to Zev.  “Gather team on deck.”  He gestured at Rikku and Jecht.  “You.  Follow.”

The Ronso stomped out of the room before them, and Jecht leaned towards Rikku.  “That was a pretty big gamble,” he whispered.

“Not really,” she whispered back, following the beasts.  “The Ronso may be stubborn, but they’re sticklers for their pride.  They may be the only completely honest race left in Spira.  If you’re upfront with them, they’ll do right by you.”  She smiled.  “As long as they think your cause is worthy, that is.”

They emerged on the deck, and Rikku marvelled at the collection of gathered giants.  She knew she was short, but being surrounded by the towering Ronso was enough to give a girl a complex, especially when more than half the team was looking at them in hostility.

Gazna raised a fist again, and the Ronso turned their attention to him.

“Today, Yevon smiles on Ronso!” he began, before gesturing at Rikku and Jecht.  “Guardians Rikkma and Jecht offer help with Blitzball!  For honor of Gagazet, we accept them as pack.”

Murmurs rippled through the team.  Zev nodded in approval.  Zamzi remained stoic.  A different male Ronso stepped forward, his expression thunderous.  

“Malik object!  Al Bhed and human interfere!  Malik will not accept!”  He snarled and slashed at her.  Rikku jumped back, retreating until she hit a soft wall and was shoved forward.  

Stumbling, she turned and saw that she’d bumped into a female Ronso – slightly smaller than her male counterparts, but still taller than Jecht.  

The female bared her teeth.  “Kelda agree!  Kelda will not play with humans!”  She crossed her arms and continued to snarl.

The smallest Ronso, Zev, leapt to their defense.  “Guardians smart!  Guardians know Blitzball!  Ronso will lose again without Guardians!”  He was shoved back by Malik.

Zamzi caught him.

“Zamzi?  You side with runt?  Did someone break horn and glue back on?”  Malik’s voice held a note of disbelief.

“I stand with Gazna.  Captain decide,” Zamzi replied bluntly.

“Zev stands with Gazna!” the small one repeated.  

The Ronso formed a ring around Jecht and Rikku; on one side, Gazna, Zev and Zamzi stood, supporting them.  On the other, Malik and Kelda, opposing.  Almost in unison, every head swung towards the last remaining Ronso on the team, a young female.

“What does Irga decide?”  Kelda asked.

Tail twitching nervously, the remaining female dropped her head.  “Irga believes Guardians will teach Ronso much,” she said, edging over to Gazna’s side.

“Then it is decided.  Malik and Kelda are bench.  Rikkma and Jecht take place,” Gazna declared.  He looked at the two ousted Ronsos.  “You remain on ship until return to Gagazet.  Those with blind pride can be no part of Ronso Fangs.”

Snarling, the pair stomped below deck.

“That was easier than I expected,” Jecht said, relaxing.  “I thought for sure they were gonna rip us a new one!”

Gazna turned a disdainful look towards Jecht.  “Ronso do not attack weaker race unprovoked,” he sniffed.  “Even if anger is great.”

“Weaker?”  Jecht bristled, and Rikku grabbed his arm in warning.  “Just get me in the water, I’ll show you who’s weak,” he promised, cracking his knuckles.

Gazna ignored him.  “Exhibition game begin soon.  We leave for stadium now.  Zev.  Take care of Guardians.”

The team began to file off the ship.  Jecht rubbed his head.  “So that’s it?  We’re just goin’ straight into a game like that?  I thought he was the captain.  You mean we’re not even gonna discuss our positions?”

Rikku shrugged.  “Don’t ask me, I told you they were bad.  I guess they figure everything’s gonna work itself out on its own.”

Zev folded his ears backwards.  “Not wrong.  Captain not understand Blitzball,” he told them in a rumbling undertone.  “Ronso all same.  Direct attack.  Be stronger than others.  No defense.  Zev run horn into wall many times now.”

“Whoa,” Jecht said, studying Zev with newfound respect.  “You may be the little one, but you got a grasp on the basics, kid.”  He frowned.  “So what did your leader tell you to do with us?”

“Malik left forward.  Kelda right forward.  Guardians decide which position to replace.”

“Wow, you guys are  _ really _ bad.”  They were approaching the stadium now, and Rikku was beginning to see some flaws in her plan.  Even if the Besaid Aurochs sucked, at least they  _ talked _ to one another before a game.  “Alright, how about this instead: what positions do  _ you _ guys hold?”

The question seemed to put Zev into more familiar territory, and he answered her almost  _ happily _ – for a Ronso.  “Captain Gazna play midfield.  Irga left, Zev right.  Zamzi is keeper.”

“Well, that ain’t too hard,” Jecht said.  “You just tell your guys when they get the ball to pass it to me or Rikku.  I’ll get your shots in!”

Zev eyed Jecht dubiously.  “Ronso can shoot.”

Rikku winced and shared a nervous look with Jecht.  They were already approaching the team entrances, and the Ronso strategy was still distant and nebulous.

“Uh… then  _ shoot _ the ball to Rikku,” Jecht told him with a little less confidence.  “She’ll take care of ya!  Just make sure your defenders have your game on today, alright?”

Zev began to look agitated.  “Ronso do not defend.  Ronso shoot.”

“Oh boy,” Rikku muttered.  They arrived at the team’s cabin doors, and Rikku split off with Irga for the women’s partition.  “Are you ready?” she called back to Jecht.

“I got this.  Stop worryin’, Blondie.  I’m the greatest!  This one’s in the bag.”  He gave her a thumbs up and his patented grin, before disappearing between the broad blue shoulders of his teammates.

“So… do you know who we’re playing against?” Rikku tried, smiling at her companion.

“No,” Irga said, before stripping down into her blitzing gear.

Sighing, Rikku changed into her own familiar bikini and puffed sleeves.  At least Auron and Braska wouldn’t miss her, a mass of skin, bows, and yellow swimwear in the middle of all that Ronso blue.  Rikku turned her attention to the room’s sphere screen. 

“Well, Bobba, it looks like we’re finally going to see the Ronso Fangs in action once more!”

“Always a pleasure!  Those Ronsos are real crowd pleasers!”

“That’s because they always lose.  But at least they’re guaranteed to make the show entertaining while they do it!  People are already taking bets on how many fouls they’ll make this year.”

“Well, you might have to hold your breath on that one, Jimba.  It looks like the Fangs drew the Besaid Aurochs for this exhibition game.  The Aurochs have been on a losing streak for three years straight, and this year their youngest player is only thirteen!  That smacks of desperation to me.”

“ _ What? _ ” Rikku yelled.

“You’ve got to remember, Bobba, the Ronso Fangs have been playing Blitzball for nearly that long and they  _ still _ don’t understand the rules.  I’d say it’s a clear case of the helpless versus the clueless.  Who do you think’s going to win today?”

“Only Yevon can say, Jimba.  Only Yevon can say.”

Rikku nearly broke the sphere screen as she shut it off.  “Let’s just get this over with,” she said to Irga, lowering her goggles over her eyes.  

They rejoined their male teammates at the entrance to the field.  The explosive sounds of the arena filling with water echoed to their position, and she stretched to loosen herself up.

Jecht grabbed her arm and pulled her to the front.  The horn sounded, signalling that the arena was ready for play.  “Let’s blitz!” he roared, and after taking a deep breath, dove into the water.

“Let’s just survive the game with our pride intact,” Rikku grumbled.  Sucking in a giant breath of her own, she joined him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gazna, Zamzi, Irga Ronso are actual team Ronso Fangs players from FFX.   
> \- Zev is a Ronso free agent in FFX. He’s also a jack-of-all-trades and the fastest Ronso swimmer you can recruit.  
> \- Gazna really is the captain of the Fangs and a midfielder.   
> \- Irga starts out slow but eventually becomes one of the best defenders you can get at higher Blitzball levels.   
> \- Zamzi starts out strong and remains passable as a goalkeeper throughout the entire Blitzball cycle. 
> 
> I mention this because it actually plays into the way I wrote these characters’ personalities. 
> 
> Also, the Besaid Aurochs losing Tournament games for 23 years in a row / Wakka joining at 13 is canon.


	35. The Language of Touch

_“Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth.” – Margaret Atwood_

 

Braska leaned forward on his stool, watching the large sphere screen on the wall.  He took a sip of tea.  “This is all very exciting, don’t you think?”

“As exciting as any tournament in Luca usually is,” Auron answered with a distinct lack of emotion.  The waitress placed his meal on the table and he nodded in thanks.  “But, this is your first time here during the Blitzball season, isn’t it?”

Braska nodded, eyes still trained on the screen.  “Indeed.  I am a bit surprised that you aren’t more affected.  You’ve shown great interest in the seasonal results before.”  He looked at Auron.  “I would think you’d be _more_ enthusiastic, considering Rikku and Jecht’s involvement this time.”

Auron shrugged.  “I followed the tournaments out of necessity – through Blitzball, one can gauge the various factions in Spira.”  He picked up his sandwich.  “I don’t bear any particular love for the game itself.”

“Bevelle has never declared war on Luca,” Braska said with a hint of melancholy.  “Must you prepare for the worst, even during a celebration like this?”

“It would be foolish to discount the power Blitzball holds, and Maester Mika is no fool.”  

Braska wilted.  

Relenting, Auron sighed.  “Although I _am_ curious to see what those two are up to this time.”

The buzzer sounded, waylaying any further attempts at conversation.  Braska perked up and directed his attention back towards the screen.  “I think it’s beginning.  Oh look, there Jecht and Rikku are!”

Auron picked up his meaty sandwich and took a bite.  Swallowing, he raised an eyebrow at the screen.  “They’re playing for the Fangs?  How did they even convince the Ronso to let them in?”

  
“Oh, hush.  Rikku can be very persuasive when she wants to.   _I_ will cheer for them if you won’t.”

Despite taking another large, stubborn bite in response, Auron kept his eyes glued to the screen.  A cheer sounded through the cafe as the horn blared for the blitzoff.

“There, look at that.  The big Ronso in the middle caught the ball!  What a magnificent start!”  Braska said, before frowning.  “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but… aren’t they supposed to move more quickly than that?”

“The Fangs are notoriously slow.”  Auron put the sandwich down.  “This is normal for them.”

“Hmm,” Braska said, never looking away from the screen.  “Look, he’s cornered.  Oh!  Well, at least they can’t force him to _drop_ the ball.  Now, he need only pass it, and then they can score easily – ”

A ripple of laughter ran through the cafe.  

Braska lowered his teacup.  “That was... not good.”

“No,” Auron agreed.  

Braska waved his arm, and some tea sloshed from his cup.  “Why did he try to shoot?   Rikku was right there!”

“Calm yourself,” Auron said, rescuing the cup.  “There’s still time left on the clock.”

“But they can’t swim fast enough to catch them!”

The crowd _oohed_ , and Auron smiled.  “The Ronso may be slow, but Rikku is fast.  There, she’s passing to Jecht.”  

Braska blinked.  “Is that wise?  He’s at the other end of the arena.  Surely, it will be intercepted.”

“Hnn,” Auron said.

The patrons _oohed_ again, and Braska leaned back.  “Did she just knock that player unconscious… with the ball?”

“It’s called a Nap pass,” Auron corrected him.  “What is Jecht _doing_?”  He squinted and rubbed his chest.  “I know that move.”

The crowd exploded into a mix of excited cheers and shrieks of disbelief.

“...Did Jecht just knock two of their defenders unconscious, too?  Is that even allowed?”

The Fangs scored a goal, and a roar rose in the cafe.

“The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III,” Auron said dryly.  “He’s a fool.”

Braska spun around.  “Why so dour, Auron?  They’re winning, aren’t they?”

Auron sighed and picked up his sandwich again.  “The Ronso Fangs have never had a problem _scoring_.  The real game starts now.”

The horn for a blitzoff sounded again.  The Aurochs took possession of the ball.

“They’re ganging up on Rikku now?  Why is she defending?  Isn’t she playing as a… what was that term… an offenser?”

“A forward,” Auron corrected him.  “Rikku claimed to be a midfielder, which is a very versatile position.  Judging from what I’ve seen so far, her style is defensive, used mainly to disable her opponents and create openings for the rest of the team to score goals.”  He shook his head.  “But, the Ronso have placed her as a forward.”

“Ah,” Braska said, though he still looked confused.  “Do forwards also defend?”

“No,” Auron said, exasperation leaking into his tone.  “ _That_ is the job of the _defenders_ .  And _this_ ,” he added, gesturing at the screen, “is the Ronso weakness.  They have no tactical acumen whatsoever.  They took a valuable resource and squandered it.”  He grunted and took another bite of his sandwich, visibly losing interest in the game. “Weak or not, the Besaid Aurochs play as a team, which is why they’ll win this match.”

“We’ll see – ” Braska started before gaping at the screen.  “She only lost the ball because there were three of them on her at once!”  He leapt out of his seat.  “That can’t be fair!  What were her teammates doing?”  

Auron pulled Braska back down.  “Calm down and drink your tea,” he said.

“Calm down?  How can I be calm?  The Ronso are too slow!  Every time they catch up, the Aurochs just pass the ball to a different player!  They’re completely avoiding Rikku and Jecht now, too!”  He pounded his fist on the table.  “Oh, they’re taking a shot – ”

The goal horn sounded once more, and the crowd cheered.

“A tied game,” Auron said, eyeing Braska suspiciously.  “I thought you weren’t a fan of Blitzball.”

Braska bit his knuckle, eyes glued to the screen.  “How are you not worried?  Those are our friends!”

“There’s little point.  As I said, they’re going to lose.”  He shook his head and laughed.  “I’ll enjoy teasing Rikku about this.”

“The game’s not over yet,” Braska said fiercely.  “I’m sure Jecht and Rikku will be able to rally.  They’re very good at working together, too – ”

The horn sounded for another goal. _2:1, Aurochs._

“I told you,” Auron said smugly.  “Now, drink your tea.”

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku sat on the bench in the locker room, head between her knees.  Jecht collapsed on the floor, resting his head on the bench next to her.  Their teammates were expressing their discontent in a much more typical Ronso fashion: by scowling, growling, or fighting with one another.

“That was a disaster,” she mumbled.  “Not even disasterrific.  Just a complete and total disaster.”

“No kiddin’,” Jecht groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.  “I’ve worked with bad players before, but this brings it to a whole new level.”  He sat up and glared at Gazna.  “ ‘Ey captain!  Shouldn’t you give us a pep talk ‘bout _now_?”

Gazna’s face remained impassive, though his tail lashed from side to side.  “Guardians promise victory.  Ronso Fangs lose.”

Zev leapt up from his slumped position on the floor.  “Ronso Fangs lose game, but still win,” he declared.  Everyone glared at him, but he only puffed out his chest.  “Final score 4:3.  Fangs score three points!  Best score of Ronso!”

“Runt hit by blitzball too hard,” Zamzi said scornfully.  “Horn pushed into brain.”

“If you compare it to the games without us, the team did pretty well,” Rikku admitted.  “But a loss is still a loss.  You have to actually win to advance, you know.”

“Shaddup, all of ya,” Jecht shouted, clambering to his feet.  “It’s clear as the tails on your asses what the problem is, and it ain’t us!”

Rikku squeaked and waved at Jecht, trying to convey an emergency message to _abort mission_ .  Was he _really_ trying to antagonize the angry blue giants _right after_ they’d lost the game?

Jecht ignored her, continuing his rant.  “A good team works together.  All you guys do is play like lone warriors!”  He grabbed Zev.  “You gotta think more like this guy.  Zev’s the only one who even tried to pass!”  Dropping his victim, he pointed at Irga.  “And you!”  Irga looked down at Jecht. “The name of your game is defense!  You left Rikku coverin’ the entire base by herself, and she was a _forward!_  You gotta stay in your position!”  

Finally he faced Gazna, who was watching the proceeding with an unusual amount of tolerance.  “But most of all – you!  The hell you doin’, captain?  You’re the midfielder!  You gotta lead your people to victory!  What you say goes.  You tell Irga to stay put, she stays put.  You tell Zev to shoot… well, at least he stopped listenin’ to you and started passin’ instead.  And you – you have got to _stop shootin’_ every damn time you get that ball!  Midfield is defense, not just point!”  Frustrated, he threw his arms into the air and kicked the bench.

Rikku eyed Gazna.  He didn’t look as mad as she expected...  more like _thoughtful_.

“Gazna consider Jecht’s advice.  Gazna allow Guardians to stay for tournament tomorrow.”  His tail twitched.  “Ronso will… _talk_.”

The team began to file out of the locker room.  

“So, see you here tomorrow?” Rikku called out.  Zev nodded – the only one to acknowledge her – before the door swung shut behind him.

“Talk,” Jecht muttered in disgust.  “S’like talkin’ to a damn wall!  Gazna didn’t even answer you!”

“The Ronso aren’t all that chatty.”  Rikku placed her head between her knees again.  “This is hopeless.  Even if they listen to every word you said, they won’t be ready by tomorrow.  So much for my big plan.”  She groaned.  “Looks like we’ll be leaving Luca as poor as we came.  Auron must be laughing his head off.”

Jecht shook his head.  “No way, Blondie.  This ain’t about money – it’s about pride!  We’re gonna win our game tomorrow, no matter what it takes!”  He raised his fist and smiled.  “This ain’t over yet.  I got a plan of my own.”  He pulled her to her feet.

“Hey, leggo!  I haven’t even changed yet!”

“No time,” Jecht told her, steering them towards the exit.  “We gotta get back to the market before that sweet roll vendor closes down.”

Rikku pulled away from Jecht,  grabbed her things, and jogged after him, confused.  “Sweet rolls?  I don’t think we can bribe the other team into throwing the tournament with a few pastries.”

Jecht turned back to her with a glint in his eye.  “Trust me on this.  I got a surefire way for us to win tomorrow.  You with me or not?”

“Hoo boy,” Rikku said, nodding uncertainly.  “It’s gonna be a long day, huh?”

**.x.x.x.**

When they finally returned to the market plaza to rendezvous with the others, twilight was descending.  Tourists and natives alike gravitated towards the bars, and only a few were still strolling through the streets – mostly couples at that.  

Auron stood out like a sore thumb, sitting alone on a bench with an expression that could curdle milk.  “There you are.”  He rose to his feet as they approached.  “The game ended nearly two hours ago.  Where have you been?”

Rikku pouted.  “Oh, I’m fine, Auron.  No serious injuries other than to my pride, Auron.  We lost the game, but I still had a great day, Auron.  Thanks for asking, Auron!”

“You lost.  It happens.  Get over it, you’re not dead.”  Though his tone was amused, his dour frown quickly returned.  “That’s still no reason to keep _your friends_ waiting.  I sent Braska back to the hotel ahead of us.”  He glared at Jecht.  “I assume you’re to blame for this?”

Jecht shrugged.  “We were takin’ care of business.  We’re still on track for the tournament tomorrow.”  He grinned cockily.  “Just you wait and see.  We’re gonna win the next one.”

“I’m sure you’ll _blow us out of the water,_ ” Auron told him.  “Forget about blitzing for now.  You both did your best,” he grudgingly admitted, “but you can only go so far with the materials you’re provided.  Now come,” he said, strolling away.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with them Ronso,” Jecht corrected him, following behind.  “Other than constantly comparin’ the size of their horns.  They’d have more of a chance if they weren’t all tryin’ to piss on each others’ feet.”

Rikku crossed her hands over her head and smiled at Auron’s retreating back.  As comforting went, he still sucked at it, but at least he’d tried.  “Thanks,” she said, skipping next to him.  “Maybe Jecht and I are just too used to working with a good team.  If you and Braska could blitz, we’d take the cup for sure!”  She winked.

“Even if I could swim, I’d pass,” he said.  “Nevertheless, I did as you asked.  Your treasure bought us a night at the Glitzball and passage to Kilika on the S.S. Pualu.”

“The Glitzball?”  Rikku blinked as Auron led them towards the largest building in the entire plaza.  “The Lucan Glitzball?   _The most famous hotel in Spira?_ ”  She cupped her face and tried not to scream as they approached the plush runner leading towards a pair of polished doors.  A very detailed weaving of a blitzball, complete with shining silver thread, decorated the carpet, and the walls were painted in an array of eye-catching, colorful designs.  “All the biggest names stay here!”  She dropped her hands and glanced down at her bikini, pouting.  “I’m so underdressed!”

Auron snorted in agreement.  A dignified cat-like creature held the door open for them, and Auron nodded his thanks as he swept inside.

“Huhuhuhuhuh…”  Rikku wiped some drool from her chin.  Even the indoor _air_ seemed more expensive.  “How can anyone afford this?  It’s like they papered the walls with gil!”

Auron grimaced.  “It’s overdone,” he said simply.  “I never did enjoy the tastes of the Leblanc family.”

Rikku choked.  “The Leblanc Syndicate owns this place?”

“They own nearly half of Luca’s entertainment industry and you asked for massages,” Auron told her, lifting an eyebrow.  “They do specialize in that here.”

“I think you just ruined it for me,” she grumbled, trying to purge all memories of Leblanc’s _Noojie-Woojie_ fantasies.  A passing attendant handed her some complimentary champagne. “No, wait.  I’ll be fine!”

“This place is somethin’ else,” Jecht said, waving away said attendant with a brief look of regret.  His gaze caught on the opulent crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, which were emitting wavering light from dozens of tiny lightbulbs.  He did a double-take.  “Wait, they got machina here?  I thought that was all forbidden.”

“Much more is tolerated in Luca,” Auron said.

“That’s not _really_ machina electricity anyway.”  Rikku danced in place on the carpeted floor, heedless of the stares from the other lounging guests.  “It’s all chocobo-powered.  I’ve only ever seen that type of system on a ship, though!”  She stopped swaying, shoved her face into one of the massive flower arrangements decorating the main hall, and sniffed.   _Smells expensive, just like everything else here!_  Then she wandered over to the stairs, where a harpist was beginning to play a soothing melody.

“Feels like I’m a celebrity again!” Jecht said with a broad grin.

“Are you done yet?” Auron asked, tone exasperated.  “I’ve rented us a suite.  Let’s go.”  He directed them down a small hallway.  “We each have a room to ourselves, but will share the bath and common area.”  Jecht wandered by; Auron grimaced at the odor trailing after the other man.  “I humbly _beg_ either of you to inspect the bath _first_.”  

“What, can’t stand the sweet smell of victory?”  Jecht smirked.

“More like the stench of defeat,” Auron snorted.

Jecht took a cautious sniff at his armpit.  “Maybe you’re right.  Dibs, Blondie!”

“Fine, knock yourself out.”  Rikku rolled her eyes and started inspecting an intricately carved chair rail.  The opulence surrounding them was fascinating.  Although she wasn’t _completely_ unfamiliar with wealth – heck, the Celsius was probably worth more than this entire hotel – neither Brother nor she ever thought to _display_ that fortune as obviously as the Leblancs did.  

She wondered if being constantly reminded that you were _filthy rich_ was overwhelming.

A quiet rattle at the end of the hallway caught Rikku’s attention.  “Is that a paternoster?” she squealed.  The wide doorframe hosted two cabins, one side ascending and the other descending in constant motion.  They brought the faint scent of chocobos wafting up the shaft with them.

“We’re heading to our rooms – second floor,” Auron told her.

Rikku raced down the hall and jumped into the ascending box as soon as the opening was large enough.  “Jecht, hurry up or you’re gonna miss our ride!”  She hopped from foot to foot and beckoned eagerly to Auron.  “This is even better than those things in Bevelle!  Do you think we could ride it all the way around?”

“No,” he told her as he stepped into the slowly rising cabin.  “It’s late, and this is not a joyride.  Jecht!”

“That thing is creepy,” Jecht grumbled, leaping on just before the cabin rose too high to accommodate his huge frame.  “Couldn’t we take the stairs?  And it stinks in here, too.”  He pinched his nose.

“It’s cool!” Rikku declared, dancing in place; the cabin shook.  “This is the smell of chocobo technology!  It’s _organic!_ ”

Auron sighed.  “If technology is to smell like chocobo musk, I can see why the people would flock to Yevon.”  He inspected the floor they were passing.  “This is our stop.”

They tumbled out of the paternoster, even as it continued to rise, and followed Auron down a dimly lit hallway.  Rikku removed her shoes and dug her toes into the thick carpet.  Here, it was dyed a deep shade of blue and adorned with swirling patterns that looked like the surface of water in sunlight.  Auron strode towards one of the few doors lining the hallway, key in hand.

“Over here,” he called, moving to unlock the door just as it swung open.  Braska stepped into the hallway.  “My lord?” Auron asked.  

Rikku also stopped; Braska was dressed more casually than she’d ever seen him.  He’d forgone his usual voluminous robes, and was wearing a simple set of patterned shorts and white undershirt that exposed his wiry chest.  A pair of sandals and a towel slung over one arm completed his new look.

“Ah, you’ve returned!” Braska greeted them.  “I’m sorry about the game today, but perhaps fortune will smile on you tomorrow.”

Jecht brightened and opened his mouth.  “ ‘ey, Blondie – ”

Rikku held her hand up.  “I am not wearing Lady Luck to blitz.”

“It was just an idea,” Jecht sulked.   “A really good one.”

“Where are you off to so late?” Auron asked Braska, visibly reverting into _Guardian mode_.  “Shall I accompany you?”

“Ah, let me explain.”  Braska beckoned them into their room.

“Free samples!” Rikku yelled as she entered.  She made a beeline towards the side table and pocketed the complimentary vials.  

Braska laughed at her for a moment before shaking his head at Auron.  “Company won’t be necessary.  I’ve gotten wind of some concerning rumors, that’s all.”  Everyone turned towards him.  He lifted his hands to calm them. “The crusaders here already know of our battle with the sinspawn.”  He smiled faintly.  “But, I haven’t been able to determine if Bevelle’s official story is complimentary or not.  In my full robes, such a task will be impossible.”

“What will going out to the city in your nightclothes accomplish?” Auron asked.  “No matter what Bevelle decides, we will continue the Pilgrimage regardless.”

Braska hefted his towel and laughed.  “Relax.  I wasn’t planning on leaving the hotel at all.  I was hoping to learn more about the rumors in the sauna.  And, if no success is to be found there, I’ll next try in the massage parlor.”

Jecht whistled.

“It’s not _that_ sort of a massage, Jecht,” Braska said, amused.  “Still, I do intend to enjoy myself to the fullest.  I’ve heard the masseuses wear the strangest outfits here...”

“At least someone’s enjoying himself,” Rikku mumbled.

“That is – ” Auron started.

Braska shook his head.  “That is _my_ plan for the evening, and I won’t have you interfering.  Don’t wait up for me.”  

“Man, I’m with you one-hundred-percent!  There ain’t nothin’ like a good massage after a hard day of blitzin’!  Where’d you get the towel?”  Braska pointed to the bathroom; Jecht scurried there and back in record time, returning with a towel slung around his neck.  “I’ll keep an eye on him, Auron,” he said, thumping the other man on the chest as he passed.

“A noble sacrifice, I’m sure,” Auron deadpanned before sighing.  “Just let us know if we have to make a quick exit from the city.  At least the tournament will be working in our favor.”

“And I guess this means I have dibs now!” Rikku cheered, heading for the bath.

“Rikku!  Wait!” Auron called out before she could shut the door completely.

She wrinkled her nose.  “What now?”

“Have you eaten yet?”

She rolled her eyes.  “Of course not.  As if Jecht would let us eat when he’s on a Blitzball mission.  Just order room service or something!”  

He looked stricken, but after a brief moment of hesitation, she slammed the door.   _Maybe the food here’s too expensive?  Well, whatever.  That’s his problem – today we’re splurging!_

Pushing it from her mind, she eagerly examined the luxurious bathtub.  There was no pump and it wasn’t filled, but after judicious use of a few water spells and a fireball, the bath was steaming and ready.  She stripped, let her hair down, and all but dove into the water.  

With a happy sigh, Rikku dunked her head and let her worries float away.

**.x.x.x.**

On the other side of the door, Auron put his head in his hands.  “Can you both leave already?” he asked miserably.

Jecht pounded him on the back, laughing.  “Fine, fine, I know you’re eager to get started, but leave a boot out or somethin’ if you don’t want us interruptin’ later.  And remember what I told you – don’t mention her rack unless it’s a compliment!  Otherwise you won’t be gettin’ any!”

“Calm down, Jecht, the children aren’t thinking that far ahead yet.”  Braska stifled his laughter.  “Although you are both hopeless,” he finally managed.

Auron sagged.  “Not you, too.”

Wiping his eyes, Braska continued.  “Just consider this as a _proper_ first date.  Be sure to select some good wine.  Ask them to bring candles.”  He paused.  “And try to order something that requires the use of utensils, for the love of Yevon.  No sandwiches.”

“Just go,” Auron repeated, running his fingers through his hair.  “I’ve faced down armies of fiends.  I can manage a _dinner_.”

Braska and Jecht exchanged a look.  Jecht hit Auron on the back one more time.  “Well, good luck!  You’ll probably need it.”

“Hush.  Go wait outside for a moment, would you?” Braska said before regarding Auron with a softer, more serious look.  “Relax,” he said gently.  “You’ve nothing to lose by trying your hand at romance.  For some reason, that girl loves you like no other.  You could feed her a two-gil meal from the slums and sleep on the fishing nets by the docks, and she would still awaken and look to you as though you were the rising sun itself.”

Auron sighed and raised his head.  “That is not – ”  He growled.  “I don’t even understand my own feelings.  How can I properly answer hers?”

“Perhaps you are overthinking this,” Braska chided.  “The journey is just as important as the destination.  You must find your answers _together_. There are no rules to follow or bend, no outcome you can guarantee.  Love simply… happens.”  He grinned.  “For some, more clumsily than others.”

“I am not clumsy.”

“So you say.”  Braska sighed.  “I know the Teachings, Auron, but you are not that man anymore.  You do not have to follow them.  To love an Al Bhed is not a sin.  I am quite literally staking my life on that.”  He stepped back.  “But I am killing the mood, as Jecht might say.  Go, have your fun tonight.”  A twinkle entered his eye.  “I’ve the means to secure another room if it becomes necessary.”

“You’re as bad as Jecht,” Auron answered him with a faint smile of his own.  “Go enjoy your _massage_ ,” he added.

Braska chuckled as he exited the suite.  “I fully intend to, my friend.”

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku exited the bathroom, clad in the Glitzball’s luxurious complimentary bathrobe.  She finished wrapping a large towel around her sopping hair – and froze.  A small dining table had been placed in the center of the room.  The lights were dimmed, and a tall candle burned between two lavish place settings.  A bottle of wine was sitting in a rack to the side of the table, chilled by a minor Blizzard spell.  Silver-domed plates announced the main entrées; whatever they hid smelled heavenly.

She reached for a dagger, eyes darting around the room.  “Auron?”  He emerged from the shadows.  Jumping, she brandished the weapon at him.  “Who the heck are you and what did you do with the real Auron?”

“This is already going well,” Auron mumbled, crossing his arms.  “Put the dagger down.  Do you not recognize a _date_ when you see it?”

“You mean the dried fruit?  Yeah, there it is, in the fruit bowl.  What’s all the rest of this, though?” Rikku asked, still waving her dagger.  “And where’s your armor?  I thought I told you to grab us some dinner, not switch yourself with a Leblanc Syndicate body snatcher.”

“Leblanc body snatcher – ” Auron mouthed, then reached over to raise the lights in the room.  He strode to the table and snuffed out the candle with his fingers.  “Are you satisfied now?”

Tucking her daggers away, she nodded warily.  “I get it, I think.  I just don’t understand.  A _date,_ Auron?  You don’t _do_ dates.”  She made her way over to the table and peeked under one of the silver domes.  “Ooh!  Is that _shellfish?_ ”

“No, and I am apparently not who you think I am.  Let me call room service and ask them to remove this offense,” Auron huffed.

“No-no-no,” Rikku said quickly, seating herself at the table and stuffing a bite of food into her mouth.  “I’m starving!  It’s cool if you wanna hang around for a little longer.  I’m sure the real Auron won’t mind if you eat something while you’re here too,” she added.

Huffing again and beginning to smile, Auron settled into the chair across from hers.  He watched her slurp down another shellfish.  “The others put me up to this, you know.”

She grinned.  “I could tell.  This isn’t your style.”  Grabbing the iced wine from the rack, she popped the cork open with an ease that surprised Auron and filled both of their glasses.  “Honestly, it’s not mine either.  A sandwich and a movie on the sphere screen is good enough for me.”

Auron hummed in agreement and picked up a glass.

“Besides, I’m already in my underwear,” she continued, eyeing him.  “Dressing up just to use some fancy silverware seems unnecessary.”

Choking, Auron snorted liquid from his nose.

Rikku sipped daintily from her own glass.   _Score!_

Auron grabbed a napkin to wipe up the mess. “Must you really?  That was excellent wine.”

“That was revenge.  Be thankful I’m tolerating a second date from you at all.”  She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them.  “Seriously, though.  I get that you’re putting yourself through this for my sake; I guess this makes up for the first one.”  She grinned and held up one of the forks on the table.  “But do you even know which of these we’re supposed to be using right now?”

Auron shrugged.  “Reject authority and use your fingers.”  He grabbed an oyster and sampled it.  “Hnn.  These are good too.”

“Less talking, more eating,” Rikku instructed.  “I haven’t had anything but a sweet roll since before the game.  Jecht and his stupid ideas,” she muttered, busying herself with demolishing the meal.

As expected, the food was delicious.   _How did we live before this?_ Rikku thought, eagerly

tasting everything.  For a number of minutes, the only sounds in the room were of them eating, interspersed with an occasional prompt to try another dish.

Finally, when her stomach ceased complaining, she grabbed her napkin and looked up from her plate.  Auron was watching her, dark eyes crinkled in amusement.  He’d eaten less than half of what she had.

“You aren’t hungry?”  She frowned.  “This meal must’ve cost a fortune.  Are you sure you don’t wanna eat more of it?”

“It is delicious, but I enjoy watching you more,” he told her.

Rikku eyed him suspiciously.  “Eating like a savage in front of you?  That’s what does it for you?  Really?”

Auron nodded.  “Creating armors, stealing from fiends, playing Blitzball, eating your dinner... you become absorbed in whatever you set your mind to, to the exclusion of all else.  I find your single-minded focus fascinating.”

“Huh,” she replied dumbly, feeling her cheeks heat.  She cupped her hands against them.

“You also lose the power of speech when I embarrass you.”  He grinned.  “I relish that the most.”  A dramatic pause.  “The golden silence, that is.”

“Oh, shut up,” Rikku giggled, hitting him in the arm.  He grabbed her fingers and drew them to his lips in a soft kiss.

“I wonder, sometimes.”  Flipping her hand over, he ran his thumb slowly down her palm.  “What it would be like to be your focus.  To be the one receiving all that attention, with no distractions.”

She shivered.  “Are you going to try to find out?”

In answer, Auron stood, drawing her away from the table.  “Come with me.”  He led her towards one of the rooms.

Rikku’s eyes bugged.  “Wait, what?  You want to sleep with me?  FOR REAL?”  

Auron winced.  “Why do you always jump to the most awkward conclusions?”

She stepped closer, still clutching his hand.  “Well, you just wined and dined me.  I’m in my underwear.  You’re not wearing your armor, so you’re practically naked, too.  And look!  There’s a bedroom right there.”  She stepped closer still.  “What am I supposed to think?”

Auron jerked away.  “I may have miscalculated the effect of the… environment.”  A rash of color splashed across his face, but he soldiered on, still gripping her hand.  “You asked for a massage.  I thought I might be able to assist.”

“Oh.”  Rikku let that sink in.  “Yeah, um, so I’m not exactly a virgin,” she told him bluntly.  “We can totally get it on if you want.”

Auron’s hand spasmed around hers.  “That was not what I meant!”

“So you’re not gonna massage me with your d – ”

“Rikku!  Just – stop!”

An awkward silence fell.  Rikku swayed on her feet and chanced a look at Auron.  He rubbed his forehead, eyes clenched shut.  

“Wait a sec, are _you_ still a virgin?”  Auron sent her an exasperated look.  She shrugged.  “I take it that’s a no, then?” she asked, somewhat disappointed.  “What’s holding you back?”

“For some reason, you have the power to deconstruct whatever words I throw at you and turn them into complete nonsense.”  Auron dragged her into the bedroom, released her, and pointed at the bed.  “Remove your robe and lie on your stomach.”

Rikku put her hands on her hips.  “Why do I have to get naked if you don’t?”

“We are not going to have sex!”  Auron threw his hands up.  “And I am not going to attempt to massage you through that abomination of a beach towel.”  He fingered the collar of her plush robe.  “Do you want this, or not?”

Frowning, she worked her fingers at the knot on her belt.  “What are you planning?”  She opened her robe and dropped it to the ground.

Auron flushed and turned away.  “I thought you said you were wearing underwear!”

Rikku looked down at her neon purple panties.  “I am?”

Auron made a choked noise that sounded somewhere between a snort and a groan.  “I meant your top.”

Scowling, she flopped down onto the bed face-first.  “Well, _somebody_ told me I didn’t have anything up there to write home about, so what’s the big deal?”  She looked at him over her shoulder.  “You can turn around now if you’re worried about seeing the girls.”

He slowly turned to face her, as if he was expecting her to leap off the bed and attack him with her nudity.  It was a tempting thought, but Auron seemed to have a plan for the evening, even if it wasn’t sex.   _This is progress!_  She forced herself to wait.  

Auron settled on the bed next to her and carefully unwrapped the towel around her hair.  “Since words can mislead us, I hoped to show my intent with actions.”  He spread out the tangled mass of dark gold strands, still damp from her bath, and grunted.  “You should take better care of this,” he mumbled, threading his fingers through her hair and working out some of the knots.

“It’s just hair,” she replied, already sinking into a comfortable stupor as his fingers ran along her scalp.  “As long as it stays out of my face, I’m good.”

Chuckling, Auron combed through another long, blond strand.  “That seems to be very Al Bhed.  The style of your people is eminently practical.”

She stared at the bedsheets.  “Is that why you won’t sleep with me?  Because I’m an Al Bhed?  Even after everything?”

Auron’s hands moved to her neck.  They were large and warm, and his thumbs applied slight pressure at the base of her scalp.  “The warrior-monks are not a celibate order, but Yevon does frown upon engaging in relationships.”  He traced down the side of her neck to her shoulders, before working on those muscles.  “For most monks, sex is merely another distraction, a physical act which must be performed to maintain one’s health.  It is not a tender thing.  There is no feeling in it, other than that of release.”

Rikku closed her eyes.  “You’re so romantic,” she said, dryly.  Still, it wasn’t hard to filter through Yevon’s blatant influence.  “So, you don’t want to sleep with me _because_ you care about me?  That’s – ”   _Going to kill me._  “Sweet of you,” she finished unenthusiastically.

His hands traced a burning trail down her sides, kneading muscles she hadn’t even realized were sore.  “Are the Al Bhed really so different?” he asked.  “You are no blushing virgin either.  Do you mean to say you gave away such a _precious_ and _meaningful_ experience to someone you truly loved?”

She pressed her face into the mattress.  The truth was, she’d been jealous of the other girls and their boyfriends, and more than a little drunk.  Paine had Nooj and Yuna had Tidus.  She had a bottle of Bartender’s strongest offering, the memories of a dead man, and Buddy’s sincere sympathy.  “ ‘Live as we want’ – that’s the Al Bhed way,” she finally said.  “Our bodies and our desires are a part of who we are.  We won’t deny ourselves for some distant moral code passed down by a false god.  It’s not natural.”

Auron’s fingers dug into the base of her spine and she groaned.  “Is that really what _you_ want, though?”

She snorted as his hands traced the curve of her butt; he grasped her firmly and pressed his thumbs into her glutes.  “You’re asking me this right now?  Seriously?”  Rather than respond, he pushed harder, hitting a pressure point that actually _hurt,_ albeit in a toe-curling sort of way.  She groaned again.

Auron’s warm chuckle washed over her like a soothing balm.  He smoothed his fingers over the sore spot and continued the massage.  “Haven’t you wondered what it must be like for two people to give of themselves so completely?  And to actually receive something in return, beyond the physical?  An exchange of souls.”  

Rikku thought of how Yuna and Tidus looked at each other.   _The sun and the moon.  Always connected.  Unable to exist without the other._  She shivered.

Auron’s fingers slowed.  “Sex is not a decision I would make lightly.  It’s an act that can consume a man and commit him to a path of self-destruction.”

The warm haze from the massage slowly faded.  She blinked.   _He has such a low opinion of sex?_  “But aren’t some things worth the risk?”   _Aren’t_ **_I_ ** _worth the risk?_

“...If I were to taste that gift, and then lose it...”  He trailed off.  

“It’d be just like Braska and Raenn,” Rikku breathed.  “Do you think loving me will kill you?”

Auron was silent, though his hands continued to rove down one of her legs.  His fingers tickled the back of her knee before digging into the muscles of her calf.  “A number of things may kill me.  I will always be a warrior before I am a lover, though.”

Whatever else he might have said was lost to Rikku as he continued to work his magic.  He cupped her lower leg firmly and pushed his palms upwards.  She let out a low moan as his fingers circled around her muscles with long, sweeping strokes.  Then his thumb hit a tender spot just below her knee and she hissed, tensing.

Auron immediately stopped.  “Are you all right?”

“Mmm,” she murmured.  “I’m fine.  You can keep going.”

He smoothed his hands over the sore area, gently running his fingers over the spot for a moment.   

The slight respite allowed Rikku to regain some of her senses.  “If you’re so afraid of losing yourself, why are you doing this?”

He switched to her other leg and didn’t speak for a moment.  “You asked for a massage.  I can deny myself, but I cannot refuse you,” he replied, concentrating on his movements as he warmed up her leg.

“Auron – ”

His hands encircled her foot and massaged her heel and her concentration scattered.   He dug his thumbs into the arch of her sole – if she could’ve mustered the energy, she would’ve been embarrassed by the sound she made.

Auron’s grunt of satisfaction barely registered over the pleasant buzz echoing through her body, but it started to fade as his fingertips slowed.

Rikku’s brow twitched in annoyance.   _Don’t stop_ , her mind sobbed.   _I’ll go into withdrawal!_

“Words are useless with us,” Auron said, picking up her neglected foot as if he’d heard her thoughts.

_Thank machina._

He circled his thumbs absently over her heel.  “We always seem to end up fighting, but perhaps I enjoy that, too.  You give as good as you get.”  He began to massage her in earnest once more, driving his knuckles into the base of her foot.  Rikku nearly wept in relief.  “But there is an intimacy in touch, which cannot lie.”

 _You don’t know how right you are_ , Rikku thought muzzily; she was seriously considering placing Auron’s foot massage several tiers higher than her limited sexual experience.

When he finally stopped working over her feet, Rikku was too relaxed to protest.  His hands – _magic hands_ , she was going to call them from now on – traced their way back up her body, over the ground he had so painstakingly explored, back to her shoulderblades.  He rested there, spreading his fingers as though he could push them below her skin if he pressed firmly enough.  She was already half-dozing when he spoke again, his voice distant and melodic in her ears.

“We were never taught to appreciate touch.  Sex was an acceptable debasement, but to savor a caress – _that_ was too vulgar, too intimate in the eyes of the Church.”  He leaned over her and planted a soft kiss between her shoulders.  “To show affection is the true weakness.”

“Hmm,” Rikku hummed, drifting bonelessly through warm clouds.  The soft weight of a blanket settled on her back, and the mattress shifted as he stood.  “I love your weakness.”  

“I know,” he said, stepping away.

 _Loving someone doesn’t make you weak,_ she tried to tell him as he carefully shut the door.  But, fighting against the warm, soothing state he’d so carefully constructed took too much effort.  She drifted into a relaxed slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16 - very few changes, just orthographic stuff
> 
> A paternoster is a lift consisting of a series of linked compartments moving continuously on an endless belt. It’s still used in Germany in the place of elevators in some buildings. (Your author lives in Germany.) If you can’t picture what it is, this graphic may help: [A paternoster.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Paternoster_animated.gif)


	36. The Big Game

“Mmm…”  Rikku surfaced from her deep slumber, feeling loose and relaxed.  She rubbed her cheek against the soft bed sheets, and her memories fell into place with a mental bang.  “No way!” she yelled, sitting up and tossing the blanket off her shoulders.

The door to her room burst open.  “Rikku!  Are you all ri – OH!”  Braska spun around, his face flaming.  

Behind him, Jecht gave her a thumbs up.  “Nice underwear, but you might wanna cover up.  I don’t think Auron wants everyone appreciatin’ that view.”  He dragged Braska away and shut the door.

Braska’s comment, “It _is_ a very nice view...” came through, loud and clear.

“...And this is the story of my life,” she groaned, spotting her clothing and her pack stacked neatly nearby.  After dressing in her blitzing gear, she threw her robe on, and slammed the door open.  Braska and Jecht jumped.

She glared at them and pointed at Braska.  “Don’t interrupt a girl’s beauty sleep _ever again_ ,” she warned him, scowling.  She turned to Jecht, ready to say her piece, when she caught sight of his outfit.  “...What the heck are you wearing?”

“It’s a blitzin’ uniform!  You like it?”  He’d ditched the plated gauntlet and pauldron on his left arm for two blitzer’s half-sleeves, though his chest was still bare.  Gone were the suspenders and flapping orange sash, replaced with a pair of baggy grey swimming trousers.  He looked like a native Spiran Blitzball player.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you look good,” Rikku admitted.  “Like you mean business.”

Jecht smacked his palm and cracked his neck.  “If we’re gonna crush ‘em today, we’ve gotta dress the part.  C’mon, get yourself geared up already!” he added with a touch of impatience.  “Auron better not have worn you out last night!”

Rikku’s appreciation withered into irritation and she stomped towards the closed bathroom door.  Thinking of Braska’s intrusion, she knocked before reaching for the knob.

The door opened and Rikku looked up into Auron’s face, her arm still extended, but now making a beeline towards a very _bad_ idea.  Or a good one.  She yanked her hand back, face flooding with color.  “Umm!”

He stared at her for a moment, then stepped aside.  “Good morning, Rikku.”  His stern expression softened as she fidgeted, her flush growing by the second.  “Did you have pleasant dreams?”

Rikku squeaked.  Then she narrowed her eyes at him.  “Now that’s just mean.”

“Mine were very vivid,” he continued, quiet.  

Rikku squeaked again, her knees turning to jelly.  “Not fair,” she whimpered.

“Revenge is best served cold.”  He smirked, drawing back, and raising his voice.  “You should prepare yourself for your game.  You seem a little distracted.”

Jecht snorted.

Braska coughed.  “Auron!  There’s no need to be cruel.”

Auron raised an eyebrow.  “Have you ever seen two cactuar mate?  Well then, keep your opinions to yourself.”  He smiled.

“Ugh!  You’re impossible when you’re in a good mood!”  Rikku scowled, entered the bathroom, and slammed the door on his face.  

His laugh chased her.

Performing her morning ablutions, she was filled with a giddy warmth.  She splashed her face with cool water from the basin and stared into the mirror.

She didn’t look any different.   _I didn’t actually sleep with him,_ she told herself, wondering why she felt as though something had changed.  The memory of his hand trailing down her back surfaced, and she suppressed a shudder.   _But, he gave me something more precious than that._  Rikku caught sight of her goofy smile in the mirror, then slapped her cheeks a few times in annoyance.  “The things that guy does to me,” she muttered, trying to calm down.

When she exited the bathroom, she found the others seated around the low table in the center of the room, deep in discussion.

“Good, you’re here,” Auron told her in his _business voice_ , pointing at an empty chair.  She hurried to join them.  “Tell us now what you discovered, my lord.”

Braska sighed and clasped his hands.  “I’m not exactly certain that it’s bad news.  Apparently we have mostly been labelled as heroes.”

“Mostly?” Auron repeated.

Jecht slapped Braska on the back.  “Stop bein’ modest, man!  They’re sellin’ Braska as the biggest damn hero this side of the Moonflow!”  He shook his head.  “The way they told it, you’d think he singlehandedly took that monster down without even summonin’ anything!”

Braska shifted uncomfortably.  “That is – ”

“As it should be,” Auron said, cutting him off.  Then he frowned.  “But what of the rest of us?  I can’t imagine Wen would have let this go, not after the way we parted.”

“Oh, there are rumors flying about the three of you as well,” Braska told him.  “But the only one they can seem to agree on is that I managed to save the day with the help of one Sir Auron, Legendary Warrior-Monk.”

Bafflement spread across Auron’s face.  “ _Legendary?_  I was dishonorably discharged and stripped of my rank by Mika himself.”

Braska shrugged.  “Kinoc must have pulled a few strings, because now, records show that you requested an honorable release from your duties to support my Holy Pilgrimage.”  His lip curled in distaste.  “Also, he was promoted for his actions during the battle.”

Rikku shuddered.  “He’s going to be the worst Maester ever.”

“Let’s hope it never comes to that,” Auron replied darkly.  “What about Jecht and Rikku?”

“That’s where it gets all sticky, right?” Jecht said, leaning forward.  “The crusaders are in our corner, and are makin’ noises now about usin’ Al Bhed machina to fight Sin ‘cause it worked.”

“Bevelle must be overjoyed,” Auron grunted.

“It helps that you were both seen blitzing yesterday.  That goal Jecht scored made quite the impression, on more than just the crusaders.”  Braska smiled at Jecht.  “If they are referring to me as the Champion of Djose now, you are a perfect fit to become the Hero of Luca.  I believe a few of the crusaders even referred to you as ‘ _sir._ ’ ”

“Sir Jecht.”  He rubbed his chin and grinned.  “I like that sound of that.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Auron reminded him.  “It doubt it was sanctioned, since the last time Bevelle saw you, you were incarcerated.  They can’t be happy about this development.”

“Sanctioned?  We’re _Guardians_ , not _press releases_.  We don’t need Bevelle’s blessing to do our jobs.”  Rikku frowned.  “...And do I even want to know what they’re saying about me?”

Jecht shuffled his feet.

Braska cleared his throat.  “...No, I don’t believe you do.”

“Mika would sooner declare a holy war than approve of an Al Bhed Guardian,” Auron said.  “Especially as it’s _you_ ; I doubt he’s forgotten what you did in Bevelle.”

“They are willing to overlook Jecht’s presence in light of my sudden and unexpected ascent _,_ ” Braska joked before his mirth disappeared.  “But we are still a long way from accepting your people into our fold.  I am so very sorry.”

Rikku waved off Braska’s sympathy.  “Forget it, we don’t _want_ to be folded in,” she scoffed.  

He sighed.  “It may be best to leave before our faces become too familiar here.  I wouldn’t want to confront an envoy from Bevelle.”

“You’re saying we should run while we’re ahead, right?”

Jecht frowned.  “Can we at least finish our game today?  We promised the Fangs we’d help ‘em out.  They need us, man!”  

His passion made Rikku wonder how much of his motivation was professional pride and how much was his undeniable soft spot for the Ronso.   _He really is just a tough guy with a chewy center_.

“We can’t abandon them, ya know?”

“Yeah,” she cut in.  “I don’t care what Bevelle thinks about me.  We’re in Luca!  I wanna win at least one game before we leave.  And who knows when Jecht’ll be able to blitz again?  Let’s stay for a little while longer, pretty please?”

Braska sat back.  “I suppose it might help.  Were Mika to send emissaries to intercept us, it would still take them days to arrive.  In the meantime, well.”  He smiled.  “Good publicity never hurt anyone, and there is no better place to garner that than here.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Auron asked Rikku.  “You will be affected the most, whether or not this ploy succeeds.”

 _He’s putting me first!_  She grinned.  It froze when Jecht and Braska snickered, and she blushed again.   _How can Auron act cool as a cucumber with all of their teasing?_

Auron seemed to be ignoring the pair, though there was a certain set to his face that hinted at something more…

 _Wait, he’s laughing!_  Rikku squinted to be certain.   _He’s laughing at them!_  Her mouth dropped open and Auron’s eyes crinkled.   _Give them a show, huh?_ she thought, grin growing.  “Oh, I’m pretty sure I know what I _want._  Just one more game here, then we’ll pack it up.  Watch us again?  Please?”

“As you wish,” he said.  

“Oh thank you!” she gushed, throwing herself into his lap.  He grunted in surprise, but his hands automatically settled on her hips. She dug her nose into his neck.

“ ‘Ey!  Stop slobberin’ all over one another!  We get it already!”

Giggling, Rikku turned head towards Auron’s ear.  “There’s something I need you to do today,” she whispered, and he stilled.  “I need you to find a bookie for the tournament.”

“What?” Auron asked, suddenly looking ready to push her off of his lap.

She tightened her grip on him.  “Oh, don’t be shy _now,_ ” she said, batting her eyelashes at him.

Braska sighed.  “I would tell you two to get a room, yet here we are…”

“This had better be good,” Auron rumbled.

“I want you to bet on the Fangs today,” she whispered.  “I told you I was gonna take care of our little money problem.  This is our ticket!”

She felt, more than heard, Auron’s sigh.  “You want me to gamble.”  His murmur carried a resigned undertone.  “Without Braska’s knowledge.”

“Just a little.  Do you trust me?”

Auron rested his head against hers.  “Against my better judgement.  Fine, I’ll do it.”

“Thanks,” Rikku said, leaning back to look at him.  “Not just for this, but for last night, too.  I’ll treasure it.”

A flicker of emotion passed behind his eyes, before he bent to kiss her on the lips.  

She flailed a little, conscious that they weren’t alone, but Auron only deepened the kiss, one hand moving to the back of her head and the other tightening around her thigh.  Her embarrassment faded as the _feel_ of Auron flooded her senses: the rough texture of the coat her fingers curled into, the cool slide of his leather armor as she pressed against it, and the gentle warmth of his lips at odds with the searing heat of his fingertips.

Her mind reeled even as her body reacted; _I didn’t know it could be like_ **_this._ **

Finally, he released her.  She lay her head against his chest, awareness returning very slowly.

Auron’s breath left him in rough pants; he seemed as surprised as she by the unexpected intensity of their play-acting.  If it could be called that; the electricity between them wasn’t a game anymore.

She jumped out of Auron’s arms, feeling guilty that they’d given Braska and Jecht such a show – all jokes aside, she _knew_ Auron enjoyed his privacy.  “Uh – ”  She started to apologize before trailing off.  The other two were nowhere to be seen.  “Where’d they go?”

A small cough came from the doorway.  Braska stuck his head in, expression wary.  “If you two are finished, we do need to check out of this hotel.  Wonderful as it was, I’m not certain we could afford two nights in a row here.”  

“Wow,” Rikku said, wishing she could _stop blushing_.  “Wait – you’ve been taking financial lessons from Auron?”  The sheer incongruity of the thought was an effective distraction from her mortification.

Auron laughed and turned away.  He seemed to be adjusting his coat.  “Go on, I’ll be with you shortly.”

Making her way towards the door, Rikku snickered at Braska.  “You worrying about money.  Did your masseuse do something to your head?”

Braska started to protest, but Jecht pushed him aside.  “Are you ready yet?  C’mon, c’mon!  We’re gonna be late!”

Rikku rolled her eyes.  “It’s not me who has to be ready.  Are you sure this plan is gonna work?”  

“Oh, ye of little faith,” Jecht scoffed, grabbing her wrist and dragging her along.  

Rikku whimpered in dismay, shooting a longing look at the paternoster.  

“We ain’t starting off the day by smellin’ chocobo piss in that deathtrap of an elevator,” he grumbled, pulling her to the stairwell.  “Now, less whinin’ and more believin’!”

“Fine, fine, I’m moving.”  Huffing, she shook her arm free and followed him.  “You _do_ know the Al Bhed aren’t that religious, right?”

They reached the lobby, Auron and Braska bringing up the rear.  Auron made his way to the reception desk to settle their bill.  Braska gave them an encouraging smile.  “I wish you both luck.  It’s not the end score that matters, after all, only that you gave it your best.”

Rikku put her hands on her hips.  “You make it sound like we’ve already lost!”

Auron rejoined them.  “ _It’s not the end score that matters?_  That’s not what he was shouting at the sphere screen yesterday,” he commented.  “Enjoy yourselves today.  Try to win.  And do not worry about the money,” he added, directing a significant look towards Rikku.  “Even should things not work out _as planned_ , we will be fine without your fame and fortune to guide us.  We’ve managed this far.”

Now everyone was looking at Auron as though he’d sprouted a chocobo pinion from his head.

Jecht stage-whispered to Braska.  “I told you he would be cool about stuff if he got laid.”  

Rikku kicked him in the shins.

“We’ll be watching the game in the stadium today,” Braska said.  “Our presence has been all but demanded in the luxury suite.  We are to make just as much of a public appearance as the both of you.”

“Wonderful,” Auron bit out, scowling.

Braska blanched. “Perhaps we’ll stop by the vendors first.  We may need to pick up a pair of sunglasses for Auron before he uses that expression on an innocent bystander.”

“Hnn.”

“Yeah, I see what’cha mean,” Jecht noted.  “Cold, man.  You’re givin’ me the shivers!”

Rikku giggled.  “They’ll look good,” she offered.  “You’ll go from “ _dismembering them with your eyeballs_ ” to “ _super cool badass_ ” in no time flat!  Doctor A the Chillmaster!”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Auron told them, although his scowl softened.  “We’ll meet at Dock Two when everything’s done.  The S.S. Pualu is anchored there; we’ve already reserved cabins on the ship.”  He tipped his head at Braska.  “Let’s go.”

Jecht cracked his neck.  “Us too.  We’re don’t wanna miss our ace, Blondie.”

Exiting the hotel, the group parted ways, Rikku and Jecht hurrying towards the stadium.  

“You think he’s really gonna show?”  she asked as they jogged up the steps leading to the team cabins.

“He’ll be here,” Jecht said with conviction.  

The only thing Rikku could see as she approached the entrance, however, was a mass of fur and yellow swimwear.  The Ronso Fangs were gathered in force, including their two hostile benched members.  Every single expression was disturbingly fierce.  The pack of Ronso faced them, giving the impression of an impenetrable blue wall.

“What’d we do?” Rikku mouthed to Jecht, breaking out into a sweat.

“Hell if I know,” Jecht replied, watching the group.  “Think I should’ve brought my sword?”

Gazna stepped out of the line.  He stood there for a moment, contemplating them both.  Then he dropped into a deeply respectful bow.  “Gazna hears news of battle on Mushroom Rock.  Ronso Fangs honor Guardians.”

In perfectly coordinated tandem, the team mimicked their leader.

“Eh-heh-heh-heh.”  Rikku pulled her goggles over her eyes and glanced around – people were staring.  “You can get up now.  Really!”

“Damn!” Jecht said.  “If you guys could show this sorta coordination underwater, we’d have it made!”

Gazna straightened, and the team behind him dropped out of their formal poses.  “Gazna hears word of Sir Jecht.  Ronso must learn new ways to adapt to new world.  Fangs try hard today.”

“Fangs win game!  Fangs win tournament!” added Zamzi with some heat, leading a chorus of approving yips and growls.

“Whoa,” Jecht said, rubbing the back of his head.  “Great spirit, team, but we ain’t gonna leave things up to chance this time.  Gimmie the lineup!”

Gazna raised his arm, and the team split into the targeted positions.  “Left forward Jecht!   Right forward Rikkma!  Midfield Gazna!”  He paused and lashed his tail, then began again with less enthusiasm.  “Left _defense_ Irga.  Right _defense_ Zev.  Goal _defense_ Zamzi.”

“Right.  Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Jecht said, and pointed at Irga.  “Little lady, you’re warmin’ the bench today.  Not that you ain’t good, but, uhh…”

 _She isn’t good,_ Rikku finished.  “But we have a secret weapon!”

Low murmurs rumbled through the other Ronso, but Gazna silenced them with a raised arm.  “If Irga not defense, Fangs lack player.  No sixth, no team.”  He squinted at Jecht.  “What is weapon of Sir Jecht?”

“See, well, looks like he’s a little late…” Jecht hedged.

Rikku tapped him.  “No he isn’t!  Look!”  She raised her arms and jumped up and down.  “Tio!   _Tio!_  Over here!”

“Ooh, yesh.  There yoo are.”  Tio ambled over slowly.  

 _Hypello.  On land,_ Rikku reminded herself, watching the vendor sway and bobble his way to the Ronso crowd.  

He finally shambled to a stop before Jecht.  “Yoo wish-ish-ish to blitsch, yessh?  Tio ish here.”  Tio bobbed his head, blinking his enormous yellow eyes.

Zamzi snorted.  “Sir Jecht bring pre-game snack?”

Tio brought his large webbed hands together and wriggled his fingers.  “Or yoo wish to buy a schweet roll?  Tio can give yoo a schpeschal prische.”

“I think Zamzi was talking about Tio, not the rolls,” she whispered to Jecht.

“Alright now, settle down,” Jecht said, giving the agitated Ronso a stern look.  “Tio’s gonna help us take care of the left field.”  He turned to the Hypello.  “You got that?  You’re the left defense.  Hell, and offense, if you want.  Can you handle it?”

Tio’s head wobbled.  Rikku figured that was as close as they were going to get to a Hypello “yes.”  

She looked at Gazna; in the end, it was really his team and his call.  And as far as she knew, no one had ever signed a Hypello to a Blitzball team.

Gazna studied their new companion for a moment, and then nodded his head.  “Gazna will trust Guardians.  Irga, bench.  Tio is left defense.”  He paused.  “Hypello also need gil?”

Tio waved his hands.  “Tio hash already been p-p-p-paid!”

Gazna grunted.  “Welcome to Fangs.  Play with honor.”  With that, he marched into the cabins, the other Ronso following.  Tio trailed after them, albeit at his own, slow pace.

“That went well,” Rikku said.  “But I didn’t know we were the ones paying for Tio’s services.  How much gil did you promise him?”

“Gil?”  Jecht laughed.  “Nothin’!  I just promised his nephew a brand new blitzball with a signed autograph from yours truly!”

“That’s it?”  Rikku balked.  “He’s playing for a blitzball?”

“With _my_ autograph,” Jecht emphasized.  “The one and only Hypello Hero of Spira!  His nephew lives in the Moonflow.  He’s a fan.”  He held up a hand, which Rikku dubiously slapped.

“Isn’t that sorta like stealing?  Even _we’re_ getting a salary, you know.”   _Although it’s diddly squat._

“This, comin’ from a thief!” Jecht answered her.  Then he grinned.  “ ‘Sides.  You know how these Hypello love water.  We’re gonna crush ‘em!  Just you wait an’ see!”

**.x.x.x.**

The walls of the open-air stadium suite magnified the day’s heat.  A breeze blew through the stifling box, bringing with it a moment of relief.    

In the middle of the platform, Braska had the dubious honor of sitting in the ostentatious throne; it was also the seat most mercilessly exposed to the burning sun.  He’d already removed his helmet and was fingering the collar of his multi-layered robe.  “This is terrible,” he murmured to Auron, who stood at his side.

“At least you have a seat,” Auron grumbled, spreading his legs and placing his hands behind his back.  He’d stubbornly refused to remove his overcoat and sword, but a telltale ring of sweat beaded across his forehead.  “You’d think they could make their guests of honor more comfortable.”

“I’ll trade you my seat for those glasses,” Braska replied, fanning himself with his hand.

“Hnn,” Auron refused.  “The game will start soon.  Once the outer sphere rises to contain the stands, the water should disperse some of this heat.”

“You are just enjoying your new sunglasses,” Braska ribbed.  Auron coughed into his fist.

A low whine echoed over the stands and both men winced; static crackled, and then the buzz faded into the familiar-sounding Blitzball anthem booming across the stadium.  

“Morning, folks!  It’s another bright and sunny day in Luca!”

“Perfect weather to mark the start of the annual Spira-wide Blitzball tournament!  What number are we on now, Bobba?”

“I think this is the nine-hundred-and-thirty-fourth tournament, but who’s really keeping track?  We all know what we’re here for, Jimba!”

“That’s right, to blitz!  And there’s bound to be some good action in our first match of the day.  It’s everyone’s favorite furry darlings, the Ronso Fangs, kicking things off with their unique style!”

Auron sighed.  “Must we to listen to this drivel for the entire game?”

“It’s not that bad,” Braska chided.  “I find the announcers to be very informative.  This is the most interesting thing that has happened since we arrived in our torture chamber.”

“ _Interesting_ doesn’t always mean _good._ ”

“The Fangs are doing better than expected,” Jimba said.  “They managed to score more than two goals yesterday!  A first in their team history!”

“But, it was a big day for the Aurochs, too!  That exhibition game was their first win in three years.  A badly needed morale boost for one of the worst records in the league!  Can they keep that momentum for the rest of the tournament?”

“We’ll have to see when they play the Luca Goers later today, Bobba.  For now, we’re here to watch the Fangs, who’ve drawn the Al Bhed Psyches as their first opponent!”

Auron twitched, and Braska looked at him in concern.  “Is this bad news?”

Grimacing, Auron thought of the crumpled betting slip tucked away in his pocket.  “The Psyches are expected to win the tournament this year.  So yes, this is very bad.”   

The announcers continued to banter.  “That’s a bad break, Jimba.  The Psyches are known for both their speed and superior Blitz tactics.  They’re one of the best teams in the league right now, and a favorite for the cup.”

“You’re right, Bobba.  The Fangs may be known for their monstrous strength, but they’re the slowest team in the league!  Once again, this game is looking pretty hopeless for our under-cats, even with the new talent they’ve recruited.”

“You know, I heard through the grapevine that those players are actually part of a summoner’s entourage!  In fact, that summoner is here with us today!  Say “hello” to Hero of Djose, Lord Braska!”

The gigantic stadium screen across from them flashed, and the Blitzing logos shifted to a live feed of the luxury box.  

Braska and Auron both stiffened.  The crowd hushed, and Braska carefully donned his helmet.  Auron pushed his glasses up and stood very still.

“You don’t say!  It’s not often that we see a summoner’s party in the stadium.  And having Guardians playing in the tournament, no less!  What’s the story on those two?”

The screen flickered before showing a closeup of Jecht and Rikku.  Past game statistics scrolled below their faces.

“Well, rumor has it the man called Jecht was instrumental in helping summoner Braska turn Sin away from Luca!”

“We’ve been promoted to driving back _Sin_ now?” Auron repeated in disbelief.

Braska was in a similar state.  “That is a bit much.  I am uncertain of how they expect us to match with these caricatures of ourselves.”

Auron growled.  “They don’t expect us to; they expect us to die trying.”

“All the more reason to succeed then, is it not?” Braska hummed.

The screen switched to a recording of Jecht performing the Mark III.  It replayed in extreme slow motion, showing his perfect form, hair swirling around his smirking face.  In the stands, more than a few women screamed.  


Jimba continued.  “Between his battlefield heroics and his incredible agility in the sphere pool, he just might be a legend in the making!  Let’s hope we see another one of his magnificent goals today before the Fangs get smothered by the Psyches!”

The crowed roared, and a few chants of “Sir Jecht!” could be heard.

Braska smiled.  “I think our plan is working.  I told you this endeavor would prove worthwhile for those two.”

“You bring up a good point, Jimba.  What about his companion, Rikkma?”  The screen switched to the replay of the five-man breakthrough Rikku had suffered in the exhibition game.  This slow motion video relayed her obvious grimace as the Aurochs tackled her and stole the ball.

“Although, I hope she is not watching that,” Braska amended.

“We’ve never seen an Al Bhed free agent going head to head against the Psyches before.  Everyone knows they like to stick together!  Do we have the dirt on that?”

“There’s been some hot debate about the mystery lady.  Being in the presence of a summoner didn’t stop this cutie from using some _fierce_ forbidden machina during the battle with Sin!”

Another murmur rippled through the crowd, though it was hard to say whether it was more admiration or outrage.

“Well, Bobba, I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“Neither is Bevelle, Jimba, but we’re not here today to debate the Teachings!  What we do know is that she’s an excellent passer, with all the speed you could expect from an Al Bhed blitzer.   She may just be enough to give Jecht the opening he needs to make a shot today!”

“So, you think the Fangs have a chance this time, Jimba?”

“Not in hell, Bobba!  Now, let’s have a quick word from our sponsors!”

Braska turned to Auron, annoyed.  “I am beginning to agree with you about this commentary.”

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku treaded water, waiting for the horn to sound.  Across the field, Tio was swimming in lazy circles; he seemed bored.  She redirected her attention towards their opponents – the Psyches – thankful that none of her family members were on the team.

Cid was a huge fan of Blitzball, and naturally, his children followed in his footsteps.  Brother showed the most promise, but was too young.  Keyakku, however, was a shoe-in.  Or, he would have been, if he hadn’t been more interested in finding lost machina with Cid’s Research and Recovery Division.

As it was, the opposing team was unfamiliar – and hostile.  One of the Psyches’ forwards drew a thumb over his throat in greeting.  

Rikku stuck out her tongue and sent him a one-fingered salute.

The blitzoff sounded, and there was no more time for posturing.  Gazna tried to catch the ball, but his opponent snatched it first.  The Al Bhed passed the ball to the left side of the field – apparently they’d tagged the Hypello as the weakest link.

 _Yes!_ Rikku thought, watching Tio dart towards the ball to intercept the pass.

Then she gaped – losing a few precious breaths of air – when Tio stopped and broke away, leaving the Psyche’s receiver to catch the blitzball.  

Recovering, she shouldered past the player trying to block her – Throat-Slitter _,_ she was going to nickname him – and landed a quick kick to his stomach for good measure.   _We’re screwed.  If the Psyches get past Tio, we don’t have a defense!_  Jecht apparently thought the same, abandoning his position to swim towards the ball.

The Psyches were busy, getting into their own formation.  The receiver spun, passing to their forward.  It was clear they expected to make a goal within the first few seconds of play.

A blur of blue slammed into the shooter, knocking the ball from his possession.  Zev grabbed the loose ball and passed it to Gazna.

Rikku grimaced.   _Here comes another long shot,_ she thought, trying to guess which Psyche would return the ball after intercepting it.  Gazna caught the pass, shrugged off the Psyches’ defenders as if they were paper, turned, and hurled the ball in her direction.

Shocked, Rikku caught the pass and began to swim in earnest.   _Wow, they really did listen to Jecht!_  Scanning the field, she spotted the man in question and prepared a long pass for him.  She went spinning as she was tackled from behind.  

Throat-Slitter had caught up and clearly wanted revenge.  Keeping a death grip on the blitzball, Rikku bared her teeth and attempted to evade him.  He was quick enough to grab her ankle; she struggled to free herself.  Light reflected off a pair of metal knuckles when he raised his other hand.

He punched her, splitting skin.  Her calf screamed in protest as she kicked him off and swam away.   _That was totally a foul!  Why isn’t anyone ringing the buzzer on this jerkwad?_

Gazna came to her rescue, punching Throat-Slitter and sending him sailing to the bottom of the sphere pool.

With a nod of thanks, she located Jecht, and swung into a rapid spin for a pass.

Dizziness hit her.   _Not now!_  Reaching her target speed, she launched the ball – somehow, in the right direction.  Jecht prepared the Mark III, but rather than watch him execute it, she inspected her calf.

Four shallow, diamond-shaped puncture marks marred the skin, weeping blood into the water.  Messy for sure, but it shouldn’t have broken her concentration.  Suppressing another wave of nausea, Rikku glared at Throat-Slitter.   _Poison, really?_  She couldn’t even cure herself – status changing equipment was strictly forbidden, and every eye was on her and Jecht.  

Although, judging from the lack of a foul, none of those eyes were giving her a fair chance.

Thinking quickly, she unwound her scarf and wrapped her leg.  She knotted it tightly, trying to slow the flow of poison, and turned her attention back to the game.

Jecht finished his final kick, and the horn blared as they scored the first goal.  Smiling, Rikku returned to her starting position, her arms feeling sluggish.  As the rest of the Fangs took their places, Jecht eyed her leg and raised his eyebrows.  Rikku pointed towards the center of the arena, where Gazna was kneeling on the starting platform. _Later,_ she motioned.

The blitzoff sounded, and Rikku held herself back, trying to find an advantageous position.  Her head was pounding; if the Psyches were playing dirty, she’d be better off keeping the contact with them to a minimum.  

Once again, Tio had the opportunity to intercept the ball, only to shy away at the last moment.  She frowned.   _Jecht’s ace in the hole is turning out to be just as much of a flop as Irga was._  

The Psyches regained possession of the ball, but Rikku was too far – and too weakened – to try to assist the Fangs.

The Psyches punted a goal past an enraged Zamzi just as she was tackled from behind, _again._

Furious, Rikku flipped head over heels and wriggled free of her attacker: the _goalie._ The Psyche Girl put a hand under her chin and flicked it at Rikku.  She twisted and swam back to her position before the net.

Clenching her teeth, Rikku tried to contain her rising temper.   _I get it already,_ she thought, assuming a more defensive stance.  She’d known the Psyches would be hostile; after all, she was the Al Bhed Guardian of one of the most hated men in their clan.  

Still, fiends tearing at her was something Rikku was prepared for.  Having other humans – _her own people_ – doing it was different.  She told herself the leaden feeling in her stomach was simply the venom.

The horn sounded and the Psyches again took possession of the ball.  But, rather than pressing an assault, they passed it lazily between themselves.  Seconds later, the buzzer sounded for halftime.  

 _Thank machina!_ Rikku forced her aching arms and burning lungs towards the locker rooms.

Once inside, she limped to her belongings and rooted through her pockets, finding an antidote and downing it.  “Ugh, that tastes disgusting,” she muttered, tossing the vial aside and reaching for a healing potion to chase it down.

Jecht was on her immediately.  “What the hell happened, Blondie?  You just ran outta steam halfway through the set!”  He pointed at her leg.  “Those bastards do somethin’ to you?”

“Poison,” Rikku replied, removing her goggles and wiping at her eyes.  “I’m not exactly their favorite person right now.”

Zamzi snarled, making her jump.  “Psyches have no honor!”  His tail lashed like a whip.

Gazna approached.  “We have bigger problem.  Hypello no good.”  He was hauling Tio along, one fist wrapped around the Hypello’s suspenders.  He lifted Tio into the air like a struggling fish.  “Gazna say we eat.”

“Let meeee g-g-gooo!” Tio said, slapping his webbed fingers at Gazna’s wrists.  “Tio can blish-blish-blitsch!”

Rikku leaned down and unwound her scarf, inspecting her leg.  “I don’t think that’s Tio’s fault,” she said.  “The Psyches are playing dirty.  You noticed, didn’t you?”  In hindsight, it was the only explanation for his behavior that made sense.

Tio stopped struggling and focused one eye on her.  “Yesh,” he said.  “Tio doeshn’t want to be hurt!  Pschyches are b-b-baaad peoplsches!”

“You Fang now!  You show no fear!” Gazna bellowed, shaking Tio before dropping him.  “Rikkma get hurt, still play.  Hypello shame Fangs!”

Tio swayed.  “We areshn’t like y-yoo,” he stammered.  “One hit, and Tio ish du-du-dusshshht!”

“Is that all?” Jecht cut in, crossing his arms.  “Gimmie a break!  That just means don’t get hit, right?”

Tio blinked at him.

Jecht smiled and clapped the trembling Hypello’s shoulder.  “Relax, man.  You got this one.  I’ve seen your nephew play.”  He paused.  “I think.”  He slapped Tio on the shoulder again.  “You guys are the best swimmers in Spira.  Even better than me!  Takes a pro to know one.”

Tio straightened.  “Yoo really shink shoo?”

“I _know_ so!” Jecht corrected him.  “Ain’t nobody gonna catch a Hypello that don’t wanna be caught.  Stop playin’ head games and get back to the real one!  Go for that ball and keep it away from them Psyches.  They can’t play dirty if they can’t play, right?”

Gazna grunted in approval.  “Ronso strong.”  He considered for a moment.  “Zev protect Tio.  Gazna cover Rikkma.”  He looked at Jecht.  “Jecht shoot.  Untie score!”

Zev nodded.  “Captain!”

“Yeah!” Rikku cheered, standing up to dance in place.  “We won’t let those Psyches bring us down, right guys?  Let’s win this thing!”

Tio bobbed his head with renewed confidence.  “Tio will tr-tr-try!”

Jecht looked at Rikku, his smile widening.  “Ya hear that, Blondie?  Sounds like the Fangs finally got themselves a real captain here.”  Turning to Gazna, he gave him a firm nod.  “Yessir!  Shoot like crazy!”

Ganza stepped towards the arena portal.  He raised a fist.  “Fangs blitz!”

**.x.x.x.**

“Well, Jimba, this is big surprise.  So far the Ronso have managed to hold their own against the Psyches, despite every sign pointing against them!”

“That’s right, Bobba, and they’re even playing at a one-man disadvantage.  I don’t know whose idea it was to throw a Hypello into the mix, but they’ve set their sights on making the most diverse Blitzing team Luca has ever seen.”

“And we got to see another one of Jecht’s amazing shots!  That alone made this match worth it, wouldn’t you say?”

“Indeed.  Although it’s a pity Rikkma isn’t performing up to snuff today.  She may have been affected by an injury from a previous game, which would make it more of a two-man loss for the Fangs.”

“I guess you could say Sir Jecht is worth more than two men, Jimba!  Or maybe just one Al Bhed and a Hypello. That isn’t really saying too much, is it?”  Bobba chuckled.  

Braska clenched the arms of his chair, smile plastered on his face.  “I don’t suppose it would help anything if I were to summon right now,” he commented idly.

“It would be a wasted effort.”  Auron remained immobile at his side, his face impressively stoic.  “They don’t broadcast from inside the stadium,” he added with a hint of regret.

“The game’s starting again,” Braska noted, leaning forward.  “Do you think they have a chance?”

Auron studied the sphere pool.  “They’re doing better than I expected,” he admitted.  “Even with the tricks the Psyches are using.  Somehow those two managed to rally the Ronso.”

A pained look crossed Braska’s face.  “The Psyches are targeting her because of me.”

“Rikku is a grown woman.  She can take care of herself.”

“That’s not the point,” he snapped.  “It isn’t fair that she must suffer for my sake.  I should be the one out there.”

“Doing what?”  Auron snorted.  “Learning how to blitz so you could take those attacks in her place?  You don’t think your Pilgrimage is enough?”

Braska shifted in discontent.  “I know it is impossible, but I never wished to be the cause of any more suffering.  Maybe this _was_ a mistake.  We should have departed this morning.”

“She is doing this for you,”  Auron said.  “Rikku doesn’t need to be there;  Jecht would be fine on his own.  Don’t cheapen her decision by denying her the chance to fight for you.”  

“But – “

“No wound inflicted on her here will be greater than the one you deliver yourself, in the end.”

Braska bowed his head.

The blitzoff sounded, and as usual, the Psyches gained possession first.  

Auron cleared his throat and turned into the announcements.

“... the strangest thing I’ve ever seen!” Bobba shouted.  “The Ronso captain isn’t even trying to hold the midfield!  He’s positioned himself next to Rikkma and – oh, wow!  Did you see that hit, Jimba?  I think the Psyche’s forward will feel that one tomorrow!”

“Yowch!  Rikkma and Gazna have taken possession of the ball!  If I don’t miss my guess, she’s going to pass it to Jecht – say, what is that?”

“Looks like a pass, Bobba, but not one I’ve seen before.  She’s putting some kind of spin on it, and – no!  She missed Jecht!  She’s _giving_ that ball away to the Psyches!”

“What an incredible mistake!  This could be a game changer, folks.  The Psyche’s receiver has the ball!  He’s launching an attack on the Fang’s goal!”

“Wait a minute, Bobba.  Something’s happening.  Did you see that?  What’s he doing?”

“He’s slowing down, Jimba!  It looks like Rikkma put something in that pass!  It has all the marks of a Wither pass, but I’ve never seen one that effective so – no!  He’s swimming in the wrong direction!  And Zev Ronso is on him!  Oh, that looked _painful_.”  

“They’re grappling!”  

“It’s a fumble, a fumble!”

The crowd screamed.

“I don’t believe it, Bobba!  The Hypello has the ball!  The _Hypello_ has the ball!”

Auron surged forward, and Braska leapt from his chair.  Half of the stands were on their feet as well, shouts of disbelief sounding through the stadium.

“I can’t track him, Jimba!  He’s on the left – no, the right – no, above!  The Psyches are in a complete panic!  They can’t keep up!”  

“This is incredible!  Not even a Guado can match that speed!  I can’t spot the ball!”

“There!  There!  He’s handed the ball off to Jecht!  The Fangs have a clear shot!”

“Jecht’s going for it!  I’ve never seen that technique before, either!  What a kick – look at the spin on that ball!  It’ll take a miracle to stop it!”

The horn blared, and the crowd went wild.

“I don’t believe it!  The Ronso Fangs are in the lead!  The Fangs are leading in the second half of a game for the first time in history!”

Auron almost couldn’t hear the announcers over the crowd losing their collective minds.

Braska gripped Auron’s sleeve, leaning forward – any further and he’d tumble over the railing. “They scored!” he shouted.

“It’s madness, Bobba, sheer madness.  The blitzoff is happening and – the Hypello is at it again!  Look at that, the midfielders didn’t even have a chance!  He’s got the ball!”

Braska let out a chuckle.  Then another, and another.  He collapsed into Auron, roaring with laughter.

“It looks like the Hypello put that one in himself!” one of the announcers screamed as the crowd – almost impossibly – grew louder.  “That’s a new goal record!  Fourteen seconds after a blitzoff!  This is turning into a slaughter!”  

“I have never seen the Al Bhed Psyches so completely outclassed.  Let’s see if they can turn it around with this blitzoff – _no_!  The Hypello scored another goal, Bobba!   _He scored another goal!_ ”  

“Hnn,” Auron said as the final horn sounded.  “I should have made a larger bet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/16: minor, minor changes. 
> 
> The pass Rikku makes is Wither Pass 3. Too high level for this stage of the Blitzball game ;)


	37. The Concert

As the Fangs climbed the stairs towards the stadium doors, the dull roar of the crowds grew.  Gazna proudly led the Ronso contingent towards the exit.  Almost every head was held high – every head except for Rikku’s, who lagged behind them, dragging her feet.  Even Tio, with his bobbling gait, was moving faster than her.

“Rikkma!  Where the hell are ya?  Get up here!” Jecht shouted from the front.  “Our adorin’ public’s waitin’!”

“They’re waiting for Tio!” Rikku called back irritably, wishing there was more than one exit from the stadium.  She adjusted her goggles, wrapped her scarf around her face in typical Auron fashion, and hoped her father – if he was watching the games this year – wouldn’t be paying too much attention.  “This was such a bad idea,” she muttered, before catching up with Jecht.

“You got stage fright or somethin’?” Jecht queried in an undertone.

“It’s not that – ” Rikku began, only to be cut off when Gazna threw open the stadium doors.  The waiting crowd erupted into screams and cheers.

Jecht gave her a half-hearted shrug of apology and rushed forward.  She tried to stick her tongue out at him as he left her behind, but only got a mouthful of fabric for her trouble.   _Here goes nothing…_

“ _Fangs!  Fangs!  Fangs!_ ”  

The chant thundered through the throngs of admirers; evidently, the people of Luca loved underdog success stories.  Gazna led them back towards Dock Four, doing his best to ignore the humans in his path.  Most of his pack followed suit, although Zev stopped to sign autographs and pose for the more determined fans. The small Ronso seemed pleased by all of the attention.  The same couldn’t be said for Zamzi, who was unsuccessfully trying to shake off a delighted little girl dangling from his arm.

Tio, on the other hand, was being swarmed by reporters.  

"What made you decide to join up with the Fangs?"

"Do you have anything to say to the Psyches after absolutely crushing them?"

"What was it like to play along creatures as fearsome as the Ronso?"

“Tell us!  Are there plans to form an all-Hypello Blitzball team in the future?”

Tio blinked and scratched his head.  Then he raised his hands and gyrated his hips in excitement, causing the small crowd around him to step back in sudden embarrassment.  “Buh-buh-buh-buy a schweet rollolololl!  Tio’s schweet rolls are the bescht!”

Rikku sniggered.  Pressing herself against the side of the building, as far away from the media fanfare as possible, she scanned the crowd for Jecht.  She found him surrounded by a small crowd of eager reporters and curious spectators.

Jecht wasn’t being accosted by fame in the same way as his teammates; instead, he had purposefully sought out the thickest pockets of admiring fans.  “The secret to my success?”  His loud laugh carried over the din of other conversations.  “Well, I gotta admit – them sweet rolls really are somethin’ else!”  

She rolled her eyes and sighed in amusement.  

Satisfied that the crowds seemed busy with the other Fangs, Rikku attempted to slip away.  Maybe she could find Auron.  Hopefully he’d taken her advice; the winnings would still be huge, even if he’d only made a small bet.  Rubbing her hands together in anticipation, she let out a small cackle as she tiptoed away.

“Laughing about your victory?”  Rikku froze at the chipper question. The bright light of a sphere camera flashed – blinding her – and a microphone nearly went up her nose, held by an eager, smiling, young reporter.  “Seeing an Al Bhed in the middle of those Ronso Fangs was a real shock!  Do you have anything to say about your decision to play for the newest team in the league?”

“No comment,” Rikku muttered, pulling her scarf up and trying to pitch her voice several times lower than normal.  It made her sound a bit like Paine.  With a nasal twinge.  And constipation.  In other words, she sounded like Brother.

“Are you battling a chest cold?  Or, just shy, Rikkma?  Can you at least tell us if the rumors are true: are you The Champion of Djose’s Guardian?”

“Eh-heh-heh,” Rikku replied, desperately searching for an escape route.   _I wonder if using Tidus’s elbow-and-dash flee technique would be bad form right now?_

The reporter – and her crew – was tenacious, tailing her even as she tried to head for a quieter section of the docks.  

“Why is an Al Bhed joining a Pilgrimage anyway?  Have the Al Bhed begun to accept Yevon’s teachings?  Wasn’t Lord Braska married to an Al Bhed woman?  Are you Lord Braska’s wife?”

The reporter stepped ahead of her, blocking her exit; panic set in.  Rikku changed directions and tried to reach Jecht.  Hopefully, the reporter would find him more interesting.

“Jecht!  A little help!” she called out over the crowd.  

He looked at her, furrowed his brows, and waved her off.

“So you _do_ know Sir Jecht!  Can we speak to Summoner Braska too?”

Gritting her teeth, she pushed through the sea of human flesh until she reached Jecht’s side.  She pinched his elbow, ignored his yelp, and yanked him away from his starry-eyed female fans.  “They’re out for blood!” she whispered, jerking her head towards the camera crew behind her.

“Whaddaya want me to do about it?” Jecht asked, pointing towards his own.  “Just ham it up!  That’s what we’re here for, right?”

“I don’t think _this_ is what Braska meant!  I just want to get away!”  The microphone was shoved in her face again and she flinched back before pushing Jecht in its path.  “Get me out of this!”

“Sir Jecht!  How do you know Rikkma?”

Regaining his balance, Jecht directed a meltingly warm smile at the female reporter and flexed his biceps.  “Now, ain’t that just cruel?  A pretty girl like you not botherin’ to gimmie her name before askin’ after someone else?”  

Several women swooned.  Rikku rolled her eyes.  At least the attention was off her for the moment, _thank machina._

“Oh!”  The reporter blushed.  “It’s Shalandra.  And I must say it’s a pleasure to meet one of the Ronso Fang’s best kept secrets!”

Jecht’s own reporting crew decided to push back.  The woman leading it elbowed her way forward, until she was next to Shalandra.  “Yes, it is a pleasure, isn’t it?  Sir Jecht, could you tell us more about that move you used?  Did it have a name?”

Jecht opened his mouth, but the first reporter interrupted.  “Well, you’ll just have to wait for a better moment to ask.  Sir Jecht was just about to tell us all about that.”

Sensing a catfight brewing, Jecht raised his arms.  “Ladies, ladies.  No need to argue!”  He laughed heartily and threw his arms around both reporters.  Quietly, Rikku slipped away, pleased that her plan had worked.   _Score one for Secret Agent Rikku!_  

“Guardian?” Jecht asked, before laughing again. “Yeah, I’m a Blitzin’ star, but ya know, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.  I’m a Guardian first, so this is gonna be our last game with the Fangs.  We’ll be movin’ on soon, doin’ that whole Pilgrimage thing.”

“ _We?_ ” they repeated.

Rikku froze mid-sneak.   _Jecht, what are you doing?_

“So your pretty companion _is_ a Guardian as well!”  Definitely going for the jugular, those reporters.  “This is unprecedented – an Al Bhed supporting Yevon’s teachings!”

Murmurs rippled through the audience.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself now, Lady Rikkma?”

Rikku flailed a bit, horrified, as the cameramen herded her back towards Jecht’s side.

“ ‘ey!  Rikkma… uh…” Jecht fumbled, looking apologetic.

Both of the reporters – Sphere Clones One and Two, Rikku decided to call them –  were on them like predators scenting blood in the water.

“Can we expect an announcement concerning the Al Bhed from Bevelle soon?”

“Tell us about your battle on the coast!  How did you manage to fight Sin without the Final Aeon?”

“When did you convert?  Are you one of the faithful from Lord Braska’s successful missionary expedition?”

“Sir Jecht, how does it feel to be travelling with an Al Bhed?  Do you use machina too?”

Rikku tried to escape once again and Jecht rubbed the back of his head, but the questions kept coming, rapid-fire.  Something had to give, and that something was Jecht.

“She ain’t an Al Bhed!  It’s a disguise!” he shouted.

Shocked silence fell. The only sound that carried was that of a tiny dying animal.  Rikku clapped a hand over her mouth when she realized it was coming from her.

“What?” Sphere Clone Two asked in disbelief.

“A disguise?  From what?” Sphere Clone One questioned, before continuing to grill her.  “And why as an Al Bhed?  Isn’t that the worst possible disguise you could choose?”  

Rikku turned and stared at Jecht with a clear message on her face.   _Fix this or I’ll hurt you!_

Jecht seemed to understand – either that, or he was imagining what Auron would do to him once the impromptu press conference ended.

“Rikkma’s ah… ah… she’s a pop star!  Don’t want no press on the Pilgrimage though, so she dyed her hair and put on those clothes!”

“Pop star?” Clone One said blankly.  “We’ve never heard of any pop stars named Rikkma.”

“I didn’t realize there was a thriving entertainment industry outside of Luca!” Clone Two gushed.  “Are they accepting job applications?”

As the cameras – and the gazes of the surrounding crowd – turned towards her, Rikku felt herself sweating.  Really, with friends like Jecht, she might as well just jump off the pier _right now –_

“Naw,” Jecht said.  “She’s this… singer chick,” he continued.  “Big in my hometown!  People love her!”  

Apparently he was going to take this blitzball and run with it.  Rikku only wished she wasn’t playing the part of the ball.  

Clone One looked skeptical.  “Really?  Then why won’t she say a word to the camera?”

Rikku threw a hand over her face – partly to block out the blinding light but also to hide her eyeballs – and shook her head.  At least her goggles were being helpful, darkly tinted as they were.

“It’s for real,” Jecht said firmly, crossing his arms.  “She’s just bein’ a little shy right now.  Ain’tcha Rikkma?  Trust me, she got a voice that could _hypnotise_ ya if she used it,” he added with a smirk.

Several members of the audience wolf-whistled, and Rikku peeked between her fingers to glare at Jecht in exasperation.

“Well then, how about a victory concert?”  Clone Two – the chipper one – clapped her hands together.  “This will be perfect!  The Yocun Revivalists are playing in the stadium soon to honor both Lord Braska and the tournament season start!  I’m sure they’d be pleased to have you perform as their opening act!”

As if in response, the crowd around them whistled and shouted in approval.  

“Yes!” Clone One said. “You both helped save Luca, and even managed to become the surprise darlings of Blitzball!  It’s a romantic journey to save the world from Sin!  Give the people what they want!”

Rikku stomped her foot.   _Enough is enough!_  “I can’t do it!  I’m not a pop star!”  It was the honest truth; without Lenne providing the talent, she was worse than “terrible.”

“But, there were rumors that your singing was instrumental in calming Sin during the attack!”  

Jecht, of course, helped things along by nodding wisely.  Rikku resolved to put a live Lucan crab into his pack, preferably in the section where he stored his clean underwear.

Clone One raised an eyebrow.  “So it’s a lie?  You’re an Al Bhed?  You really can’t sing?”

“Hey!”   _That_ was a thrown gauntlet if she’d ever heard one.  Rikku planted her hands on her hips.  “Take that back!”    

Clone One smirked.  “Prove us wrong!”  

“Return to the arena and show us your talent!  Luca has its eyes on you, Rikkma!”

“Sing for us!” Number Two said, gesturing to the crowd to take up the call.  

They didn’t disappoint.  “ _Concert!  Concert!_ ”

As the chant spread, Rikku hung her head.  Damn Spira and its borderline obsessive love for large musical extravaganzas.   “Fine,” she gritted out.  “I’ll have to change first.  Don’t expect anything great, though,” she added, shooting a nasty look towards Jecht.  “He and I come from a really _tiny_ village with no taste.”

Still, the crowd continued to cheer.   _What did I step into this time?_

**.x.x.x.**

“So, why am I here again?”  Jecht sat on the locker room bench, looking bored.  “You don’t need me to suit up for this party, do ya?”

“You’re here because this is all your fault!”  Rikku paced back and forth, doing her best to wear down the floor tiles.  “Bevelle’s going to be hounding us as it is!  And now you want to rub it in their faces with a _concert?_  What the heck were you thinking?”

He shrugged and wiggled his fingers at her.  “Just do your magic thing.  ‘Sides, if I’m right, this will help, huh?  You sing a little song, do a little dance, get the people to love ya and you’ll get them Yevonites off your back.”  He hit his own chest with a fist.  “I’m the Blitzer already.  You gotta be somethin’ else.  Somethin’ besides _that Al Bhed._  Give ‘em a show they won’t forget!”

Rikku pulled her braids.  It pained her to admit it, but Jecht was right in a way.  This was exactly what Braska had wanted them to do; make a good impression in Luca, then leave quickly.   _Well_ , Rikku amended, _maybe not_ **_exactly_** _._  

Auron was going to be apoplectic.  Good thing he’d be stuck in the VIP box with Braska until the concert was over.

 _More time to watch my life flash before my eyes_ .   _At least Jecht will die first._

“Shame you gotta use that fake name, though,” Jecht said.  “Don’t seem right, letting some made-up personality take all your credit.”

She snorted.  “Lenne’s the one who’s going to be _taking all the credit_.”  

Jecht looked confused.

“The Songstress,” she elaborated.  “She’s… kinda dead, but her memories are really, _really_ active in my dressphere.”

“Kinda dead?” Jecht repeated faintly.  “Okay, freaky.”  Then he shrugged again.  “Whatever.  Do ya think she’s gonna change your appearance again?  Dunno how we’d explain that one away,” he added.  “You two don’t look a thing alike.”

“I have no idea,” Rikku admitted.  “I don’t even know what I’m gonna do out there!  I use my dresspheres for battle!  What am I supposed to do, cast a sleep spell on the arena and sneak out?”  

Jecht looked at the sphere screen, which was now displaying the prepared stage.  Apparently the two announcers were eagerly relaying the lineup change.   “Relax,” he told her absently.  “You’ll be fine, Blondie, ya always are.”

“You’re the one who got me into this.  You should go with me – be a stage dancer and embarrass yourself, too.”

Jecht perked up.  “For real?  You’d let me out there?”  There was entirely too much hope in his expression.

Rikku took great relish in squashing it.  “Not in a million years.  Not even if you were the last backup dancer in Spira.”  

Jecht wilted.  “Dang.  Don’t get a man’s hopes up like that!”  Turning his attention back to the screen, he frowned.  “It’s time.  You better get your game on, Rikku.”

Rikku’s heart pounded.  She looked down at her belt, fingering the Songstress sphere.  “Lenne, what the heck am I doing?  How am I gonna get out of this one?”

The sphere glowed faintly against her fingertips, but gave no answers.

“Auron’s gonna kill us,” she stated for the record, then activated the sphere.  The magic settled around her, along with a burgeoning sense of confidence.  She strode over to a mirror and studied her reflection.  A nearly neon orange vest and short purple skirt met her sight.  “Well, that answers _that_ question,” Rikku said, fluffing her hair.  “I’m still me.”  She held out her gloved hands and frowned.  “Actually, I’m even more me than I usually am in this costume.”

Jecht raised an eyebrow.  “Ain’t that a good thing?”

Rikku looked at herself again.  Her hair was the same floppy blonde mess beneath the purple bandana as before.  Her eyes were unmistakably green.  “I still look like an Al Bhed,” she told the mirror.  “This is going to be like declaring war on Bevelle, you know.”  Then she stepped back and forth in a quick dance move and lifted one shoulder.  “Like it or not, at least they’ll be listening.”  She grinned.  “Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.”

Jecht stood and moved towards the arena’s entrance.  Now that the water had been drained, the door opened onto steps.  

It didn’t seem as if the crowd had stopped cheering.   _Don’t they need to breathe?_

“Go out there an’ kill it.”  Jecht gave her an encouraging fistbump.

“Of course,” Rikku replied, lifting her chin.  She squared her shoulders and sashayed up the steps.  

The crowd fell silent as she made her way to the lone microphone smack dab in center stage; she pointedly avoided glancing at the luxury suite.  

Grabbing the mic from its stand, she lowered it to her abdomen, bowed her head, and promptly panicked.   _What am I doing?_  She tried to think of a song but drew a blank; Rikku felt alone and horribly exposed.  Sure, boosted confidence was part and parcel of the whole dressphere, but she’d never simply _performed_ as a Songstress.  She stood before the crowd feeling mostly like herself – awkward and unprepared for the multitude of eyes directed towards her.

The silence drew out and the magic pooled around her feet restlessly.  Whispers passed through the crowd as the seconds ticked by.    

Everyone wanted her to deliver some sort of mystery-revealing performance.  A few Al Bhed eyed her with open confusion, clearly trying to decide whether she was one of them.  The more traditionally dressed northern islanders and the devoutly religious glared, their looks tending towards open hostility.  The native Lucans and people of the smaller southern villages were smiling in anticipation.  And the crusaders scattered throughout the stadium looked towards her expectantly, as though she had some sort of message to deliver.

 _Lenne!_ Rikku thought desperately, one hand straying to her belt.   _I don’t know what to do!  Help!_

Power flared around Rikku’s feet, and the crowd gasped.  The light dimmed into a set of more familiar rotating circles; base runes for the magics the Songstress could call upon.  Each always started with a dance.  Automatically, Rikku began to step along the sigils, chimes rising with each tap of her foot.  She moved more quickly, and the chimes turned into harmonizing chords – the beginning of a tune.  

Lenne’s hand guided her own.  She lifted the microphone.

 _Forget about the public_ , Lenne’s voice echoed in her head _.  Forget about their expectations and desires.  You must sing about what you know, what you feel.  Sing for the people you love, and all will be well._

Rikku took a deep breath.  She could do this.  She shut her eyes to block out the crowd and opened her mouth.  “All of my life I've tried so hard!  Doing my best with what I had...”

The magic carried her; her feet found the pattern of the dance as she sang.  A gasp rippled through the crowd and bursts of color exploded behind her eyelids – the dressphere was working its magic, triggering a spectacular light show for the audience.

“Maybe I'm born right out of my time, breaking my life in two…”  Rikku pushed everything into her song: her confusion and anger, hope and despair, feelings of aimless drifting and newfound belonging.  “Throw me tomorrow!  Now that I really got a chance!”

Opening her eyes, she realized the magic had conjured actual images that moved in time with the music.  Figures flitted across the stage as she sang.  They were fuzzy and indistinct, made more of light than true pictures, but she recognized them regardless.  

“ – everything's falling into place – ”  

Brother, so young, chased a teenaged Keyakku; they were laughing.  Her father leaned over to kiss her mother.  Gippal stood on one leg and grinned at her.  Rikku tore her eyes away and continued to sing.

“Seeing my past to let it go!”

Tidus turned away from her and dove into an invisible ocean.  Lulu reached out, offering to teach her.  Wakka was on her other side, dribbling a blitzball.  Rikku’s breath caught, but she couldn’t end the spell – she had to keep singing.

“Lucky old sun is in my sky…”  

Auron was there, older and more rugged, flipping over the snowmobile.  She looked away, still continuing her song, and saw Kimahri, with his broken horn and his crossed arms, nodding at her in acceptance.  Yuna danced in her summoner’s robes, staff twirling.  Behind, Paine gifted her with a rare smile.

The music swelled, and the audience was entranced, their eyes locked on the summoned figures.  A small chill of fear rolled through her – what did they see in her memories?  But the spell continued to pull words out of her, beyond her control.

“Nothing prepared me for your smile!”  And now Jecht was there, rubbing the back of his head and laughing.  Braska looked over his shoulder at her, his expression wistful.  And Auron, young Auron, placed his hands on her back and leaned forward. “Only for you I don’t regret...” she finished gently.

The images began to fade, and Rikku slowed her dance, allowing the song to wind gracefully towards its close.  

A clogged feeling set up camp in her throat, and her heart was racing; she couldn’t tell if she wanted to scream or cry.  Having her life laid bare like that – and for what, a _performance_?  Sure, it was great to see her friends – and _sweet machina_ , how she missed them – but they were _her_ memories.  She hadn’t meant to share them!

 _Lenne, what was that?_ she asked, but Lenne didn’t respond.

The arena was completely silent, despite being filled with people; the only sound Rikku heard was that of her own labored breath.  She bowed her head in disappointment and frustration – mostly at herself. _I gave it everything I had… and it still wasn’t good enough?_

A faint sound intruded – a lone clap.  It was quickly followed by another, and another, until the stadium was filled with the sound of applause.  

Rikku jerked her head up and blinked a few times before smiling shyly.   _Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all._  

“ _ENCORE_!”

Her smile faltered.  “Umm, thank you?”  Feedback reverberated across the stadium.  She winced and backed away towards the stairs.  “Really, thanks, but I can’t – ”

The crowd cried out in disappointment and she froze.  Lenne tugged her back into place.

 _Lenne!  I have nothing left to sing about!_ she thought, fingering her microphone.

 _There’s always another song to write about love,_ Lenne whispered in amusement.

Rikku’s annoyance boiled into anger.  Wasn’t it enough that she’d sung her life story out tonight?  Now, Lenne wanted her to sing about _Auron_?  Growling, she stomped her foot.

A magical pattern exploded out of the ground.   _Oh no._ She picked up the pace _–_ more tones sounded as her feet walked the path to a much more upbeat tune.  

Lenne laughed.   _Use that frustration!_

Rikku’s pace quickened.  A lively melody played, ringing chimes sounding over a bass line as she danced.

 _Might as well go for it,_ Rikku decided, and thought of Auron as she opened her mouth.  “Baby, baby when I look at you, I get a warm feeling inside!”  If she wasn’t so busy dancing, Rikku might have smirked.  Well, if he hadn’t known this song was dedicated to him, he would in short order.  

“There’s something about the things you do that keeps me _satisfied_ ,” she crooned.  “I wouldn’t lie to you, baby - it’s mainly a physical thing.  This feeling that I got for you baby - makes me wanna sing!”  She struck a seductive pose, running a hand down her side.  “I feel for you!”  

The crowd went wild; many of the women and even a few of the men copied her movements.

“I think I love you!”  She twirled, magic swirling around her and into the air.  Now some people in the audience were staring at each other.  Lenne laughed again and Rikku smiled.   _Well, that’s_ **_one_ ** _way to channel the Songstress magic, I guess!_

Delighted, Rikku lowered her microphone and put more energy into her steps, dancing until the volume of the music swelled to fill the stadium.  Satisfied that she’d now captured the entire audience, she began to sing again.

“Baby, when I’m here with you, there’s no place that I’d rather be.”  She licked her lips and wriggled suggestively.  “Can’t believe it’s true, the things you do to me!”

A few of the more ambitious couples in the crowd were kissing now.  Others were dancing in ways that _definitely_ would have been outlawed in Bevelle.  Even some of the northerners had shed their excess robes and loosened up.

“I wouldn’t lie to you baby, I’m physically attracted to you - ”  Rikku winked, and a raucous cheer rose from the audience members who weren’t otherwise engaged.  “This feeling that I got for you baby, there’s _nothing_ that I wouldn’t do.”  She leaned back with a lascivious roll of her hips. 

“I feel for you!  I think I love you!”  She spun and laughed, taking in the boisterous crowd as her feet moved even more quickly.  Taking a deep breath, Rikku finally let her eyes travel to the one spot she’d been avoiding all evening.

“ _Whoa-oh_ _!_ ”  Her hand went up, gesturing directly to the V.I.P. box.

Braska had an amused smile on his face, lounging in his chair and enjoying the show.  He didn’t seem to be nearly as affected as the rest of her public – little wonder, considering his mastery of magic and partiality to her subject matter.  Auron, on the hand, was gripping the railing while he stared at her.  

She laughed at the look on his face and blew him a kiss.  “I feel it, too!”  
  
The crowd saw the motion and went wild.  Rikku had to direct her attention back to her dance, retracing her steps across the stage.  Still, she looked over her shoulder at Auron.  “I think I love you…”

The people were on their feet, stomping and swaying, some in the process of disrobing and many more desperately making out.  The more rational part of Rikku’s mind was warning her of the advantage of a timely exit – at least before the spell wore off, and the more religious contingents of the audience realized just what they’d done.

Rikku let her voice rise in volume as she neared the exit.  She spun one more time and bowed as she sang.  “I want you!”  Then, with one last step, she conjured an explosion of light and dove for the stairs.  The last notes of the song lingered.

Jecht caught her as she slammed the door to the cabin below and deactivated her dressphere.

“Whoa!” she gasped, wiping sweat from her brow.  “That went really well!  But I think we’re gonna have to jet before they get us again.  I may have pushed it too far with that last song…”

Jecht released her slowly, his brows furrowed.  “Rikku…”

Rikku felt a pang of concern.  “Hey?  Are you alright?”  A little more worried, she stepped away from him.  “Don’t tell me my last song got you too?”

He shook his head at her.  “It was your first song,” he told her, even as she dragged him away from the changing rooms.  “What was that?”

The worry turned into full-blown concern.   _Did he see?  Did he see_ **_everything_ ** _?_  “Let’s not do this here,” she hedged as they hurried out into the afternoon sunlight.  “Where’s the Pualu again?”

“Dock Two,” Jecht reminded her.  “An’ you ain’t gettin’ outta this so easy,” he added, jogging after her.  

They managed to dodge most of the crowds en route to the ship, mostly because the concert was still ongoing.  And also maybe just a little bit because the people they did run into were too busy necking.  

Rikku wasn’t sure how the poor Yocun Revivalists could follow up her act without magic of their own, but judging from the loud strains of music echoing out of the arena, they were giving it their best try.  

“There it is!” Rikku said in relief as they neared the water, spotting the name of their ship painted in bold letters across the hull of a large boat.  

The vessel was broad, with royal blue sails and men and women working hard on the deck, undistracted by the pleasures being offered in the city.  Compared to the paucity of their travel accommodations before, it looked downright luxurious – though nothing really could compare to their one-night stay in the Glitzball.  Still, it seemed Auron had really loosened the pursestrings for this portion of the journey.

“Two Guardians from summoner Braska’s party, reporting for duty,” Rikku chirped at the sailor standing on the gangway.  Thankfully, it seemed he hadn’t watched Luca’s sphere news; he gave no indication of recognizing her.

“Very good!  Your things are below in cabin three,” he replied, stepping aside and granting them access.

Rikku wasted no time scrambling towards the underbelly of the ship.  “One room,” she mused.  “I guess Auron can only get so generous after all.”

She pushed open the door and strode in.  Two bunk beds, comfortably sized, lined the walls, and a port hole displayed the sea outside.  A small rug with a coffee table was bolted to the floor between the beds, and someone – most likely Auron – had already distributed their equipment around the room.  There were even a few potted plants spread around, giving it the appearance of a comfortable hotel suite rather than a cramped ship’s cabin.  

Jecht shut the door behind them, leaned back against it with a thump, and crossed his arms. “Tell me ‘bout that song you sang,” he said straightaway.

Rikku pulled her goggles off of her head and let them drop around her neck.  She rubbed her eyes.  “What did you see?”

There was a pause, and then Jecht unfolded his arms.  “I saw my wife,” he finally admitted.  “And my boy, Tidus.”  Then he laughed shortly and shook his head.  “I even saw my daddy, teachin’ me how to blitz.  He’s been dead an’ gone for years now.”  He looked at her, frowning.  “How could you bring all them up there on the stage like that?  I reckon you don’t even know half the people I saw.  Like my teammates from Zanarkand.”  Then he dropped his head again, his voice suspiciously thick.  “Ah, damn.  I sure miss ‘em all.  Look what you did, Blondie.”

Rikku wandered towards the porthole and peered outside, pretending not to hear his sniffles.  She turned over what Jecht had said in her mind.   _So they didn’t see my memories – they saw their own instead._ She studied the horizon and did her best to afford her friend some privacy.

Jecht eventually quieted down, and Rikku felt brave enough to speak.  “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” she offered.  “I didn’t know it would do that.”

“Naw,” Jecht managed.  She heard his footsteps coming nearer.  “Was a good kinda hurt.”  Unexpectedly, he pulled her into a bear hug.  “Thanks,” he mumbled gruffly.  “Felt like I got to see ‘em all again for a minute there.  Little piece o’ my Zanarkand to take along with me here.”  

 _Maybe Jecht’s idea wasn’t a total fiasco after all_ , Rikku thought.

He pushed her away, grinning.  “Now about that _other_ song…”  He whistled.  “I thought you didn’t wanna piss them Yevonites off?”

Rikku felt her entire body turning red.  “It was just supposed to be for Auron!” she choked out.  “I didn’t know it was gonna do… _that_.”  She drooped, ashamed.  “I’m never going to be able to show my face in Luca again, am I?”

“Probably not.  But that don’t matter, you’ll be too busy scorin’ with Auron to care ‘bout Blitzball anyhow,” Jecht laughed, slapping her on the back.  “You two gonna go at it again tonight?  Maybe I need to tell Braska to rent another cabin, eh?”

And just when she thought she couldn’t get any _more_ embarrassed.  “Thanks a lot, Jecht.”   She grabbed her bag, pretending to fumble with something in it.  “Just go away and do something else, will you?” she squeaked.  “In fact, go find Gazna and tell him about us leaving.  It’s not nice to announce it to the reporters instead of your captain, right?”

Jecht continued to laugh at her, though she did hear him opening the door.  “Alright, alright.  I’ll let you stew in your own juices ‘til Auron and Braska get back.  That’s gonna be a fun conversation to listen in on!”

“Remember you started it first with those reporters!” Rikku shot back.

Jecht’s laughter cut off abruptly.  “Uh.  Ya think you could, I dunno, maybe butter the Stiff up a little while I’m out?” he asked her with a hint of apprehension.

“Sure,” she replied cheerfully.  “I’ll set the schedule for your next sword practice with him, too!  Buh-bye!”  

Jecht cringed.  She waved at him.  He shut the door and fled.

Looking around, she tossed herself onto the bunked bed next to Auron’s pack.  Sure, he’d put her stuff on the top bunk, but she was too tired to climb.  He’d just have to suck it up or squish in next to her.  

Part of her worried about exactly what Jecht had voiced: what would Auron’s – and Braska’s for that matter – reaction be to her performance?  What memories had her first song shown them?  

More importantly, what would Auron make out of her second song?  The look on his face had been mixed – angry, which was to be expected – but, there’d also been something darker and challenging there.

Just thinking about it brought the flush back to her face in full force.

Yet, despite her anxiety and nervous desire, one final thought floated to the forefront of her mind as she snuggled into the luxuriously soft sheets.   _At least, after all that effort, I’ll be able to enjoy being rich again…_

Soon the only sound filling the cabin was that of Rikku’s snores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that needed to be revised! From here on out, the story is current, whether you read it here, FF.net or the SB forums. Happy days!
> 
> This chapter was uncensored to include the original song lyrics of David Bowie and Prince. The songs Rikku sings are excerpts from:
> 
> “[Thursday’s Child](https://youtu.be/u4DzdUEiyL8)” by David Bowie  
> “[I Feel for You](https://youtu.be/VXFOBwyCu7I)” by Prince
> 
> The "results" *cough* of the Prince song are the mass orgy in the stadium, which is a nod to Alan Rickman and the orgy scene in the movie "Perfume."
> 
> This whole chapter was an unplanned "filler" to pay tribute to some of the greatest artists I've seen and mourn their passing.


	38. A Fond Farewell

It was very late in the afternoon before Braska managed to extract himself from the hustle and bustle around the stadium.  Auron was, of course, right behind him, and in a foul mood.

“I can’t believe we wasted so much time on this,” Auron said disgustedly.

“At least they fed us,” Braska pointed out.

“I wouldn’t have called that food.  And I wouldn’t have called that concert music, either,” Auron replied as he stomped down the road.  “My ears are still ringing.”

“You mean the Revivalists?  They were…”  Braska searched for an appropriate description.  “...compelling.”

“You think death metal is compelling,” Auron repeated, coming to a stop.

“I was trying to be complimentary,” Braska protested.  “They certainly put their heart into the performance.  It was emotional.”

“Yes.  I felt very angry as I was forced to watch it,” Auron agreed.

A small smile flitted over Braska’s face as he began strolling down the road once more.  “You know, you looked much more _compelled_ by Rikku’s performance.”  Auron adjusted his sunglasses, but said nothing.  Braska’s smile widened.  “Oh?  You didn’t enjoy her declaration of intent?  I would think you had much to look forward to.”

Auron masked his embarrassment with frustration.  “We can’t be certain that piece was created for me.”  

Braska sent him a look of disbelief.  

“...Fine.  It was a bold statement.”

“That is all you can say?”  Braska’s eyebrows went up.

After a long moment, Auron let out an exasperated sigh.  “I _appreciated_ it.  Are you satisfied?”  He grumbled as the other man laughed at him.  “Honestly, that whole incident reeks of Jecht.  I’ll pry the story out of them later.”

Braska only laughed harder at that.  “Leave Jecht alone.  I believe you’ll be busy enough _prying_ Rikku for information.”

“I’m glad you find this so amusing,” Auron muttered.  “You didn’t seem to be as moved by her second performance as everyone else.”  He hesitated.  “Were you… similarly unaffected by her first solo?”

Braska’s laughter died and a contemplative look passed over his face.  “No, that one did reach me.”

“What did you see?” Auron asked.

Footsteps slowing, Braska looked to the sky, lit in brilliant hues of orange and gold from the setting sun.  “I saw people who were precious to me.  Many familiar faces, even friends who are still with me now.”  He smiled at Auron.  “But also those who have passed before me.”

“Then you saw something similar to what I did,” Auron said, brow furrowed.  “It was… painful.  I don’t understand why she chose that song.”  Catching himself, he frowned.  “My apologies.  Listen to me, complaining like a petulant child, when you've lost more than any of us.”  He made a sharp noise of discontent.

Braska regarded Auron.  “It’s fine, my friend.  Memories are bittersweet things to hold onto.  Allowing yourself to feel that pain will give you the power to move beyond them.”

Confusion flickered across Auron’s face.  “Why would you say that?”

“It’s not about wanting to prod old wounds to see if they still bleed,” Braska replied.  “In fact, if I had the power to turn back time, change history and obliterate the sorrows that shaped me, I would be sorely tempted to.”

“But, would you?”

Braska chuckled and resumed walking.  “If I erased my sorrows, then what would become of my joy?  Would it be as great?  Would I even recognize the experience of true happiness?  I’ve found that you can’t have one without the other.”

Auron trailed after the other man towards the docks.  “And you believe that’s what Rikku was trying to tell us?”

“No.”  Braska studied the ground.  “I think it is something she is finally beginning to understand.  Though I admit I prefer to dwell on the effects of her second song.  I enjoyed that one much more.”

Auron barked out a laugh.  “Sometimes I wonder if Jecht is the bad influence, or if you’ve always been this morally subversive.”

“Some secrets should never be revealed.”

They shared a companionable grin.  “It’s been too long since I’ve seen you this happy,” Auron said.  “You thrive in this atmosphere.  I still don’t understand why you chose to remain with Yuna in Bevelle.”

“Because, Auron, as much as the Church does not wish to have me, I have need of it.”  Braska paused, taking in their surroundings.  “But, wouldn’t it be wonderful if Bevelle could be even a little bit like this?  People coming together, regardless of their creed or race, to celebrate as a part of something greater.  If only that draw could be Yevon, rather than Blitzball.”

“Yevon is too discerning for this audience, my lord.”

Braska shrugged.  “The demands of the Church are created by man and man will always be fallible.  Yevon could be so much more than what the Church has made of it.”

“Him _,_ ” Auron corrected.

“ _It,_ ” Braska replied firmly.  “Yevon is a _belief_ , Auron.  Once, perhaps, Yevon was a summoner who walked among us, a man like you and me.  Well.  More like _me_ , obviously,” he added with a hint of mischief.  “But the Yevon that Spira worships today has no bearing or relation to that man.”

“Hnn,” Auron said, as they restarted their stroll through the docks.  “You sound almost like the Al Bhed.”

“Is it any wonder?  They’re the ones who showed me the Church’s limitations.  Why are only the priests permitted to study history?  Where did the Teachings actually come from?  Is machina truly the curse that created Sin?  No one has any real answers.”  Braska sighed.  “Maybe the Church _is_ wrong about these things, but we are simply no longer allowed to ask.”

“If you think that,” Auron replied, “then how can you continue the Pilgrimage?  Can revenge alone drive you that far?”

“I would call it love, not vengeance.”

Auron walked in silence for a few moments.  “As you say, my lord.”

Braska grimaced.  “Auron, wait.”  He stepped up to the other man.  “I hate it when you distance yourself from me like that.  We’re in Luca.  Can’t you loosen up for once?”

Auron faced him, his expression stony.  “When will you stop lying to yourself?  You set your path because of this so-called _love_ for Raenn, but you left your daughter behind to be raised by the wolves of Bevelle.  You openly tell me that you reject the Teachings, yet you still walk the path of a summoner.  And you wonder why I’m confused!”

Braska’s face was pinched.  “You’re confused because you’re finally starting to ask the questions you never thought to before.  But you are mistaken about me.”  He looked away.  “Leaving Yuna behind was the most difficult thing I have ever done.  I _know_ what this will do to her if I succeed.  And yet still I must try.”

“Why?”  Auron’s question was laced with pain.  And then, softer.  “Why _you_?”

They lingered at the edge of the water, listening to the lap of the waves splashing against the stone.  The excitement of the day was winding to a close, and the number of people on the streets was dwindling.  A rare moment of peace and quiet descended over the docks.  

Braska tilted his head to the side and let his eyes slide shut.  “Do you remember this, Auron?  The first time we came here together.”

Auron stilled.  “I do.  We were both different men.”

“Yes,” Braska sighed.  “I, too, was restless then.  Yevon was still a rigid icon for me.  I was so certain I was right.”  He opened his eyes and studied the movement of the water below.  “When Raenn died, I lost the last of my blind faith, but I never lost the vision that it left behind of a united Spira – one free of sorrow, free of the fear of Sin, and one that could work together for a common good: each other.”  He turned to Auron.  “To me, Yevon can still be that banner we gather under.  It is an idea, a goal to work toward.  An _idea_ can change, Auron, even if _the Church_ cannot.”

“They should have excommunicated you when they had the chance,” Auron said after a moment.  “Is that why you think it has to be you?  Not just for Raenn?”

Braska nodded.  “You weren’t entirely wrong before.  The anger and the pain are still there; they still lick at my heels and drive me forward.  But Sin can’t be defeated by hatred alone.  If anything, I believe hatred is what created Sin.  Perhaps _love_ is what can destroy it.

“To think, the love of a Yevonite and an Al Bhed might bring Sin to its knees.  Now _that_ is an idea worth pursuing.  Imagine the legacy I would leave to Yuna.  It would be greater than my own death.”

Auron snorted.  “You really believe the Church wouldn’t rewrite history to paint your death in their colors?”

“That’s why I have you, isn’t it?”  A startled look crossed Auron’s face.  Braska grinned.  “I trust you’ll carry on with whatever I manage to start.  You are the strategist, after all.”

“My lord,” Auron managed, still looking shell-shocked.

Braska clapped Auron on the back.  “Enough of these maudlin thoughts.  What say we find Jecht and Rikku and congratulate them on their game?  We’ve kept them waiting for long enough, I would think.”

Recovering, Auron scowled.  “And whose fault would that be?   _You’re_ the celebrity now.”

“And _you_ are the one who engineered that,” Braska countered.  “Besides, wasn’t a large part of our delay that detour into the city you insisted upon taking?  What business did you have at that bank anyway?”

Auron coughed into his sleeve.  “Look.  Isn’t that Jecht?”  Fishing the sphere out of his coat, he turned it on.  “I should make a record of the Hero of Luca.  It’ll be a keepsake for Yuna.”  He strode away.

“Subtlety is not your strength, my friend,” Braska murmured under his breath, snickering.

“ ‘ey, Auron!” Jecht called out, waving.  “Did ya get that last match?”

"Yeah,” Auron replied.  “But I don't understand why you wanted me to.  Didn't you say you have Blitzball in your Zanarkand?"

Jecht rolled his eyes.   "Not a sportsman, are ya?"

Thinking about the continuous broadcast of Bobba and Jimba that they’d been subjected to for the past few hours, Auron grimaced.  “Thankfully, no.”

Braska caught up to them, eyes still gleaming with amusement.  "Working on your form?" he greeted, nodding at Jecht.

Scoffing, Jecht looked down his nose at Braska.  "My form don't need no work.  I'm the great Jecht!”   He struck a heroic blitzing pose.

“Really,” replied Braska, smile widening.  “Tell that to your Hypello friend.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Tio was pretty good.   But it was still my idea!”Jecht turned away, scratching at his chin.  “Actually, this one… it's for my kid."  The last was said a little too quickly as he walked away.

Concerned, Braska followed after the other man.   "Your son plays Blitzball?"

Jecht’s shoulders rose and fell, though he still refused to face them.  "Yeah, and he wants to beat his old man bad.  Once, I told him to give it up.  He didn't speak to me for a week.”  He let out a rough laugh, his shoulders hitching again.  “Wonder what he's doing now.  I hope he got bigger and put on some muscle."  He stepped further away.

A look of understanding passed over Braska’s face.

Curiosity piqued, Auron turned the sphere towards Jecht.  He froze when he heard the hiccup, followed by a soft wheeze. “Jecht?” Auron asked, surprised.

Jecht whirled around, his face red and eyes suspiciously bright.  " ‘ey, what's the big idea!  Stop shooting!"

“Hnn,” Auron muttered, shutting the sphere off.  “My apologies.  I didn’t mean to intrude on your… moment.”

Scrubbing at his face, Jecht let out another loud, clogged sniff.  “Damn,” he grumbled.  “Second time in one day.  Leave a man some pride, will ya?”

Braska cleared his throat.  “It _has_ been an interesting day for all of us.  Where’s Rikku?”

Sniffing again, Jecht gestured at the docked ship behind him.  “She’s on the Pualu.  Hidin’ away from the rest of Luca.”

“Then what are you doing out here alone?” Auron asked with mild disapproval.  “After the stunts you two pulled today, I’d think you would know by now to stick together and lay low.”

“Oi, she’s the one who kicked me out!  I was just deliverin’ our goodbyes to the team.”  He grinned at Braska.  “You got the support of the Fangs, B.”

“Bee?” Braska repeated, looking less than thrilled.

“Oh, yeah!”  Jecht punched an eager fist into the air.  “They’re dedicatin’ the rest of the tournament to Team BARJ!  Even got Tio to stick around for a few more games with ‘em!”

“Team Barge,” said Braska faintly.   “That sounds…”

“Awesome!” Jecht yelled.

“Terrible,” Auron growled.

“... like a seafood delicacy being sold by a street vendor,” Braska finished.  “Why don’t we forgo your team nickname for the time being?”

Jecht shrugged.  “Alright, B.  Your loss.  BARJ just has a nice, easy ring to it, ya know?”

“No,” Braska said firmly.  “I really do not.  I do hope you relayed our gratitude to the Ronso Fangs, however.”

“ ‘Course!” Jecht answered, joining them as they boarded the ship.  “I always got _both_ of my teammates’ backs!”

“Proud of your newest Blitzball creation?” Auron asked with some amusement.

“What can I say?  I got the touch!”  Jecht cackled, hands on his hips.  “The Fangs are gonna take the cup, mark my words.  Just you wait an’ see when we get back here after this Pilgrimage is over!  I told ya, there’s gonna be parades!”

Braska’s steps slowed.  “Yes,” he said, looking back towards the brightly colored city which pulsed with energy and excitement.  “A celebration of life when this Pilgrimage ends.  I think I would enjoy that very much.”  He stooped low and bowed in prayer.  “You have my thanks, people of Luca.”

 

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku mumbled as someone poked her in the side.  “Ngg… go away!  I’m still sleeping!”  She turned her face into her pillow and stubbornly tried to ignore the next prod, which was less gentle.

“Paine...” she groaned, blinking one bleary eye open and taking in Auron sitting next to her.

He frowned.  “I can’t be hurting you.”  Another poke.  “You’re not that delicate.  And you’re in my bed.”

Rikku rubbed her eyes and sat up with a yawn.  “I was tired and it was there,” she complained, feeling like a zombie.  “How long has it been?”

“We’ve already set sail from Luca,” Auron told her.  “The journey will last overnight.  We should arrive in Kilika in the morning.”

Stretching her arms overhead, Rikku pushed herself to the edge of the bed.  “I’m glad to be gone after all those reporters, but I think I’m still going to miss Luca a little.”  She picked at a fingernail sadly.  “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to the Fangs.”

“Jecht said your goodbyes for you,” Auron assured.  He hadn’t moved, and Rikku took the opportunity to lean against him and rest her head on his shoulder.

“So, are you mad at me?” she asked.

“I saw the sphere broadcast,” Auron told her.  “You weren’t completely to blame.  Jecht has no brain-to-mouth filter whatsoever.”

Noticing that the room was empty, she smirked.  “Is he already floating face-down in the water then?”

Auron chuckled.  “He and Braska are both topside, enjoying the view.  I think Jecht is demonstrating the Mark III for the crew.  It’s his preferred method of trying to keep me away.”

Rikku giggled and turned her face into Auron’s neck.  “And what about me?”

“What about you?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her.  “Do you wish to be punished?”

She blinked.  “Well, when you say it like that…”  She ran a finger down his bicep.

“I heard every word you sang,” Auron murmured, lowering his head.  His lips quirked upwards.  “That wasn’t the way I imagined gaining favor in Luca, but you likely made many people very happy today.”

Feeling bold, Rikku reached up and curled her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.  “I wanted to make _you_ happy,” she admitted.  “The rest was just an accident.”

Auron turned his head and kissed her hand.  “You love me,” he said plainly.

Rikku sucked in her breath.  “I do,” she answered.  Then she stared at him, a challenge.  “What’cha gonna do about it?”

Auron leaned in, his lips hovering over her mouth.  “Take advantage,” he answered, before sealing them against her own.

“Mmm,” she moaned.   _This is a good idea.  No, this is a_ **_really great_ ** _idea._  Her arms wandered on their own, wrapping around Auron and pulling him closer as she leaned backwards onto the bed.  To her delighted surprise, he allowed himself to fall on top of her.  His mouth chased hers with growing hunger.

His roving hands were definitely onto _something_ , at least.  They trailed paths across her bare torso, igniting nerve endings under her skin she hadn’t realized she even had.  Rikku flushed and squirmed underneath him, eliciting a grunt from her partner.

Auron pulled away reluctantly.  “If you don’t stop wriggling, this may develop into something we both regret,” he warned.

“Remind me again why that would be a bad thing?”  Rikku shimmied a little more to drive her point home, inhaling sharply when she felt the success of her efforts.

“You may enjoy performing for audiences, but I am a private man,” Auron scolded, extracting himself from her grip.  He gave her a heated glare as he sat up, adjusting himself.  “The sun has not even fully set.  I came to fetch you to rejoin the others.  They’ll be serving dinner soon on the deck, and Braska wishes to see you.”

“Killjoy,” she muttered.  “I’ll get your pants off sometime, you know.”

Auron smirked.  “I’ll be on my guard,” he replied.  His eyes softened and he tucked an unruly strand of hair away from her face.  “There’s no hurry, Rikku.  This is simply another step in our journey.”

Rikku made a face, sitting up and checking to make sure nothing was more exposed than usual.  “Tell that to my lady bits,” she grumbled.

“Your blunt humor will be the death of me,” Auron replied in a pained voice as he helped her to her feet.  Pulling her in, he pressed her body tightly against his own.  “Do not mistake my restraint for a lack of interest,” he added in a low voice.

“Gotcha,” Rikku breathed, staggering a little when he released her.  

He caught her hand and pulled her towards the door.  

“You’re a cruel, cruel man,” she told him as her heart rate recovered.

Auron directed an amused look over his shoulder as he led her through the ship.  “I’m cruel?  You’re the one who tried to seduce me in front of the entirety of Luca.”  He smirked.  “You’re welcome to try that song again when we’re alone.”

Giggling, Rikku followed him up the stairs to the deck of the Pualu.  She gasped – the last rays of the sun were setting fire to the ocean.  A few stars were already visible, twinkling overhead between the billowing sails.  “This is beautiful!” she gushed, dropping Auron’s hand to run towards the railings.  

The Pualu was a standard Spiran transport ship, although perhaps a bit more luxurious than what Yuna had travelled on during their time together.  It was a far cry from the industrial barges used by the Al Bhed for deep sea exploration.  Everything was so bright and colorful; it was almost as if a piece of Luca had broken off of the docks and floated away with them.  

“I love it!” she shouted, spinning to face Auron.

“Rikku!”  Braska called her over; he, Jecht, and several other passengers were standing by a small grill mounted to the deck.  Freshly caught fish sizzled on it, sending a tantalizing aroma into the air.  Jecht munched on one, stopping only to give her a wave with his half-eaten meal.

“There you are,” Braska said, smiling as he handed her a charred fish.  “When we returned to the room, you were already sleeping soundly.  It would have been a pity to wake you.”  

“Who wouldn’t be tired?” she replied.  “A concert right after a Blitzball game, sheesh!”  She grabbed the meal and bit into it.  Then she hopped up and down and screeched, waving her hand at her mouth.  “Hot – hot – hot!”

“Crybaby,” Jecht teased before taking a large, demonstrative bite out of his own fish.

“So he says.  His yell was louder than yours when he first tried it,” Braska laughed, handing off another stick to Auron.  “Well.  I hope everyone enjoyed their time in Luca?”

Licking her lips, she blushed.  “Sorry about that unexpected publicity stunt,” she told Braska.  “I really wasn’t planning it, but Jecht opened his big mouth and – ”

“ ‘Ey, it all worked out in the end,” Jecht complained.  “You can blame me for the success if ya want, though.”

“Jecht is correct.  Do not worry, Rikku, we all enjoyed the performance.  You made quite an impression on Auron.”  Braska smiled with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.  “What kept you for so long?  Did you get lost along your way to our cabin?”

Auron put an arm around Rikku, grabbing her hip almost possessively.  “I was having an appetizer.”

She frowned as the two men stared at each other.  It wasn’t exactly hostile, but there was a hint of tension between them, almost as though Auron was trying to tell the summoner to _back off._

Turning, she pushed Auron’s hand off of her hip and gave him a small frown.  “I’m not your pawn,” she murmured.  “Don’t use me like that.”

Auron stared at her, then nodded.  “Sorry,” he said stiffly.  “I assumed things were changing between us.”

She grabbed Auron’s coat and tugged him away from Braska’s observant gaze.  Once they were out of earshot, she turned on her heel to face him.  “Just because I wanna jump your bones doesn’t mean you can parade me around like a prize chocobo,” she hissed.  “I _chose_ you, Auron.  Isn’t that enough for your pride?”

Auron rubbed the bridge of his nose.  “I was not trying to use you,” he muttered.  “I see the way Braska looks at you still.  You are not his.”

Rikku narrowed her eyes.  “I’m not _yours_ either,” she shot back.  “I’m my own person, Auron.  So are you.  Settle this thing without using me as bait!”

Auron glared.  “The only thing between Braska and I is _you_ , Rikku.”

A throat cleared behind them.  Auron and Rikku both flinched, surprised at Braska’s silent approach.  

“I should be the one to offer the apology,” he told them.  “I have offended you, Auron, and caused this disagreement.  Please accept my sincere regret.  I will stop needling the both of you about your relationship.”  Then he bowed deeply.

Caught off guard by Braska’s admission, Auron was slow to react.  Rikku helped him along by nudging his ankle with her boot, prompting him to bow in return.

When Braska rose, he focused on Rikku.  “I truly am sorry.”  He looked resigned, before his expression melted into its usual pleasant facade.  “Please, do not isolate yourselves here.  I will make myself scarce, so you can enjoy the gathering the crew put together.”  He swept away, smiling, and started to greet the other passengers.

Auron stared at the polished wood of the deck, sighed in frustration, and crossed his arms.  “This is why I hate romantic involvements.  It breeds pointless emotions, like jealousy.”

She frowned.  “ _Hey!_  It’s not all pointless.  Just because there are bumpy parts doesn’t mean the ride isn’t worth it.”  She mirrored his pose.  “The first time I fell in love, I convinced myself everything had to be perfect.  That idea ruined me for everyone else after he died.”  She dropped her head, thinking of Auron’s older self and all of the time she wasted pining after him.

“I forget sometimes that, young as you are, you still have more experience in this than I,” he admitted quietly, meeting her eyes. “You’ve loved before and had your heart broken, just as Braska has.  You are both, in a sense, my superiors.”

“Hah!  You think I’m your superior?  Well then, drop your pants!”

“I’m trying to be serious here,” he scolded her, rolling his eyes.

“See?”  She grinned ruefully.  “It doesn’t work like that.  Having experience doesn’t give me some kind of edge here, you know?  Besides, what makes you think Braska’s situation can even compare with mine?  He had a family before Raenn died.  I was just a stupid teenager hung up on a guy who didn’t even notice me.”

“I didn’t realize – “ Auron started, but Rikku continued before he could finish.

“It’s not like there’s some formula you can follow to make things all neat and safe anyway.  That sure would be great though, wouldn’t it?  If we could map out our feelings and make a guided tour for falling in love without any heartbreak?”  Raising her palm, she walked two fingers across it.  “If it was that easy, I’d write in a detour to avoid hurting Braska.”

Auron huffed a laugh.  “I suppose it was bound to happen.  I thought I could resist you and spare us all this headache, but you’re very persistent.”

“Of course!  You got a heart, I’ll steal it!”  She twirled around once, then took Auron by the hands.  “Letting myself fall in love with you made me realize it doesn’t _have_ to be perfect this time.  Maybe it never really is.  But I think it’s worth all the trouble in the end.”  She looked up at him earnestly.  “We’ll find a way to handle Braska’s feelings.  Alright?”

Auron squeezed her hands.  “All right,” he told her, then leaned in for a kiss.

“Ahh!” a withered voice said when they drew apart.  “How refreshing to see the couples of today celebrating the glory of love!  Oh, to be young again.”

She jumped, then blinked.   _Wait, I know that hat!_  “Gramps?” she exclaimed, eyes wide with surprise.

The stooped old man in the ornate travelling robes adjusted his spectacles and peered at her.  “Yes, young lady?  Have we met before?”

Smiling broadly, Rikku reached out and grabbed his hand, pumping it up and down.  “Yeah, though I bet you don’t remember it!”

“Rikku!” Auron said sharply.

“Oh, it’s quite all right, young man.  Your companion is correct.  Old Maechen has far too many memories to keep them contained in this head of mine.  Perhaps you’d like me to share a few stories?”

“It’s kind of you to offer,” Auron hedged, eyeing the doddering old man with a hint of impatience.  “But –  ”

Rikku elbowed Auron in the stomach.  “Of course we’d love to listen to you!”  

Maechen had always been a sweetheart to Yuna and the rest of them; his stories had helped them understand Sin, the great Machina War, and later, Shuyin and Lenne.  His words even helped them face down Vegnagun.  She could feel the Songstress sphere warming in agreement; Lenne and Maechen shared a friendship that technically spanned a thousand years.  

“Tell us a story, please!” she begged.

“Well, well!  It’s not often that those I meet are so eager to hear my words!”  Maechen stroked his beard, obviously pleased, and cleared his throat.  “I am on a journey, studying the history of our world, Spira, seeking its stories and secrets…”  

As he droned on, Auron began to look bored, and Rikku remembered why she always let Yuna do the talking, if possible.  Maechen _really_ liked the sound of his own voice.  She wondered if he’d been a Blitzball reporter when he was young.

Jecht wandered by and stopped behind Maechen.  He cocked his head to listen, but after a few moments, his eyes grew glassy.  Shaking himself, he smirked and formed his hand into a beak, parroting Maechen’s words.  Auron eyed Jecht and very casually drew a thumb over his throat.

“Did you have something to add?”  Maechen peered at Auron.

“Ah.”  Auron quickly converted his movement into a long, drawn-out scratch.  “No, I just thought I felt the irritation of a biting fly.  Please, carry on.”  He smiled rigidly past Maechen at Jecht, who was miming _I’m so scared!_ right back.

“Don’t mind him!  I’m listening to every word, Maechen,” she answered, which was partially true.  The cadence of his storytelling voice was very relaxing.  It synced with the rise and fall of the passing waves, creating a pleasant tune of white noise.

“I suspected you would be, young lady.  We have just reached the history of Al Bhed after all.”

“Ooh,” Jecht said, joining them by stepping into Maechen’s line of sight.  “Now this I wanna hear!  Tell us all of Blondie’s secrets, old man!”

She rolled her eyes.  “They’re not _my_ secrets.  This is the history of my people!  Right, Maechen?”

The old man squinted, hand on his chin.  “Indeed.  You’ve the bearing of the Pollendina clan, miss.  Always well regarded among their fellows, they’ve managed to retain the ruling hierarchy of the Al Bhed for generations now.  They do say only the best and brightest are produced from that line.  Are you by chance a relation?”

“Pollenwhat?” Jecht asked, his face scrunching.

“Pollendina.”  Braska approached, bowing respectfully to the old man.  “That was Raenn’s family,” he supplied.  “Good to see you again, Maechen.”

“Oh!”  Jecht grinned.  “So you mean Blondie here’s a royal Pollen Diva?”

“Pollen _dina_ ,” Rikku corrected.  “Nobody cares about the old clan names anymore though.  We intermarried so much it all got too messy to keep track of years and years ago!  Almost everyone’s part Pollendina nowadays.”  She snorted, thinking of Brother.  “Best and brightest, huh?  You sure about that, Gramps?”

“It’s true,” Braska protested.  “The bloodlines may have thinned, but I _was_ married to one of their clan.  Her intelligence shone as brightly as the stars in the sky.  It was her mind I first fell in love with.”  He looked at Rikku and smiled.  “That seems to run in their family.”

Maechen saved Rikku from another awkward moment by continuing to chatter on, oblivious.  “Of course it would!  Your people are an engineered race after all, bred and created for exactly that purpose.”

“Wait, _what?_ ”  Any sort of tension between Braska and Auron was ignored as Rikku focused completely on Maechen.  “ _Engineered?_  We’re not engineered!”

“Oh, yes, my child,” Maechen chuckled, missing the expression of shock splayed over Rikku’s face.  “The Bedohls were originally clones of proper humans, created over a thousand years ago.  That was why they could not use magic, you see.  Instead, they were trained to excel at wielding machina.”  He stroked his beard.  “One might say your people were the first living machina ever created!  Truly a marvel of ancient Zanarkand!”

Jecht’s head whipped over to Rikku.  “We _made_ you?  I didn’t ever see no androids back in _my_ Zanarkand!”

Braska, looking nonplussed, interrupted him.  “How do you know this to be true, sir?  Nothing you describe was ever recorded in the histories I studied.”

Rikku shushed them both with her hands.  “He’s a scholar.  Trust me, this guy knows his stuff.  We’ve met before!”

Maechen scratched his head.  “Really?  I can’t seem to remember…”

“You wouldn’t, Gramps.”  Rikku tapped her foot impatiently.  “Tell me more about the Bedohl!”

Pleased at her interest, Maechen eagerly recounted his tale.   “Little remains of the original clones in the tribes of the people we know as the Al Bhed.  The Bedohl were simply soulless husks, with none of the emotion or empathy shown by other sentient beings.  Your eyes and unique hair color are most likely the last remnants of that time so long ago.  I wonder what Alb would say were he to see you now, thriving as an independent race.”

Despite his encouraging words, Rikku felt sick to her stomach.   _Clones.  We’re all really blonde, green-eyed clones.  Engineered to be smart._  She didn’t doubt for a minute that Maechen was telling the truth – he always did.  His soul was driven by the need to record and preserve Spira’s history, even its unsavory moments.  If anyone knew the truth about her people, it’d be him.

“Aww, c’mon, don’t be so down, Blondie.  S’not like you’re anything like them _bed rolls_ anymore, right?”

Fury flooded her.  “You think this is a joke?  Are you laughing it up now?” she said, raising her eyes to meet Jecht’s.  

A look of hurt passed over his face.  “ ‘ey now,” he told her, folding his arms.  “Don’t look at me like that.  I didn’t do this!  Sometimes the truth sucks.  Ya just gotta learn to deal with it, right?”

Momentarily stunned, she felt her anger fading.  After all, she’d dropped a much bigger bomb on Jecht’s head.

Auron squeezed her arm.  “Rikku.  You don’t even know that it’s true.”

The pity wall from her friends was crushing her.  She winced as she forced herself to do what she was apparently bred to do – _think this one through._  Clenching her hands, Rikku dug deeper.  “Who’s this Alb person you’re talking about?”

“Why, Alb was the geneticist of course!  You might say he is the god of your people; he invented your race.”  Maechen paused, thinking.  “ _Al Bhed_ is a corruption of Alb’s name and the Bedohl which he created.  I assume it was easier for those in Zanarkand to ridicule the clones by their new title.”

“It’s an insult?” Rikku said in a small voice.  “Our people were named as a… a _joke?_ ”

“Oh, it was no joking matter,” Maechen replied.  “The Bedohl managed to become so powerful that they had to be kept under surveillance at all times.  It’s speculated that their power was actually the catalyst for the Machina War.”

“So, we caused the Great Machina War too, huh?”  Rikku sunk to her knees, her feet splayed to her sides.  “Wow,” she said after a moment.  “That’s… something.”

“Something” wasn’t the half of it, but it was all she could bring herself to say.   _So, that’s why our hair and eyes never change?  Why we’re so good with machina?  We were created this way?_

“Rikku?”  Auron called.

She ignored him.   _We didn’t even ask to be created!  How did we become such a threat to Zanarkand?  They turned to Sin in the end just to fight us?  All the death and destruction… that’s our fault?_

She clenched her hands, breathing deeply.   _No.  We were forced into this world and then into the war.  The Al Bhed never had any control over our destinies from the beginning!  We didn’t_ **_start_ ** _anything!_

An itching sensation started behind her eyes, and she could feel the warm flush of anger crawling up her neck. _So, why are we blamed for everything?_  She scowled.   _No matter what Maechen says, Yu Yevon created Sin!  It’s not our fault!_

“Ah.  I seem to have troubled you, young lady.”  Maechen’s apologetic voice interrupted her whirling thoughts.  “That was never my intent.”

 _What did you_ **_think_ ** _would happen, Gramps?_  She dug her nails in deeper, but said nothing.

Braska broke the awkward silence.  “You said the Bedohl were a race of clones unable to use magic?” he asked Maechen.

The old man nodded.  “Indeed, it is as much a legacy of the Bedohl as their unique coloring.”

A broad smile lit Braska’s face.  He turned to Rikku.  “This is wonderful news!”

Jecht snorted.  “What’s so wonderful ‘bout it?  You tryin’ to rub salt in the wound?”

Auron bent over Rikku and gently grasped her shoulders.  “Rikku,” he said.  “ _You_ can use magic, even without your belt.”

“Don’t you see?” Braska told her with excitement.

Maechen didn’t, by his look of surprise.  “Truly?”  He fiddled with his spectacles, inspecting her with new interest.  “You can harness the power of magic, young lady?”

Confused by the sudden attention, she nodded.  “Yeah… a friend of mine once said she thought I had some talent.  She taught me a few spells.  I can’t do much more than low level parlor tricks, though.”  To demonstrate, she held up a hand and snapped her fingers together.   A tiny flame danced to life on her fingertip, and she held it up for Maechen to see.  “Nothing like what real mages can do when they get serious.”

Her pathetic flame was still more than enough to cause Maechen to clap his hands together in excitement.  “Amazing!  Truly amazing!  Humor an old man and show me another!”

Bemused, she snapped her fingers again.  This time she focused on making a small spark of electricity.  At Maechen’s eager look, she snapped her fingers a few more times, generating enough static charge to lift her hair.

“You gotta teach me that trick!” Jecht told her.

Braska’s smile broadened.  Auron helped her to her feet with a thoughtful look on his face.

Maechen was trembling with excitement.  “And once more!” he begged.

“You want a show?  I guess I can try.”  Frowning, Rikku focused on the spell, mouthing the arcane words as she gestured.  Completely ignoring her garment grid, she pulled the magic out naturally, sweat beading on her forehead.  With a shout she sent the most powerful Blizzard spell she could conjure sailing over the water.  It hit the ocean with a splash, freezing the tops of the waves for a few seconds and creating a small crystal explosion that disappeared again immediately.

Rikku sighed in disappointment.  “That sucked.”  _I’ve seen Lulu do worse to Wakka after he accidentally ruined one of her dolls.  She set his entire Blitzball trading card collection on fire with a snap of her fingers!_  She glanced back and did a double-take at the look on Maechen’s face.  “Why are you so excited?  So I can cast a few useless spells!  What does that prove?”

If possible, Maechen quivered even more.  “Why, it proves that you are a ray of hope for Spira!  The first Al Bhed I have ever witnessed harnessing magic!   After all these long years, a sign of change appears!”  A few tears sprung to his eyes.

Braska patted Rikku on the shoulder.  “Your people are Bedohl no longer.  You have learned to adapt –  to grow and become a true part of Spira, just like the rest of us.  You needn’t let the past define who you are.”

“Perhaps the end of Sin’s thousand year reign is also drawing near,” Maechen agreed.  “If your people have evolved this far, then what more could be possible?”

She looked at her hand, overwhelmed.  “You got all that from a few elemental spells?  Don’t you think that’s pushing it?”  

“Why not reach for the stars?” Braska answered her.  “Sometimes you may manage to catch one.”

He was right, she realized.   _Didn’t I just say it to Auron?  I’m my own person._  “Stars, huh?  Well, I already caught two, didn’t I?  They bought us a nice time at the Glitzball!”  She’d already done so much without knowing her people’s past – the new information didn’t have to change anything.  The Al Bhed excelled at adapting, surviving, and flourishing – even under the most extreme conditions.   _It doesn’t matter where we came from; we live as_ **_we_ ** _want now._

Grinning, Rikku gave a surprised Maechen a tight hug.  “Thanks, Gramps!  That _was_ a pretty good story after all.  You always pull through when we need you!”

Maechen chuckled, returning the embrace.  “It was a pleasure, my dear.  Truly.”  As she stepped away, his smile dropped.

“Did I squeeze you too hard?” Rikku asked with worry.

Maechen turned towards the ocean, a troubled look on his face.  “Oh,” he said simply.  “We have a visitor.”

“What?”  Auron spun, eyes narrowing as he peered out over the darkened water in confusion.  

“No,” Braska breathed, paling.  “Not here.  Not _now._ ”  Then his face hardened.  “Auron!  Warn the captain of – ”

It was right about then that they felt it –  the sweep of nausea that always heralded trouble.

“Holy shit,” Jecht cursed, scrambling towards the cabins.  “I’m gettin’ the weapons!  Rikku, you stay with Braska!”

Auron was already off, his red coat flying behind him, directing the helpless civilians below deck and shouting warnings at the crew.

Maechen and Braska stood beside her, watching in dismay.  The waves boiled and erupted off the port bow, exposing the tip of a giant fin for a brief moment.  Even that was enough to elicit screams and panic from the other passengers.

“SIN!”

Sin dove, and the massive wave its fin generated rocked the boat violently.

She grabbed Braska as they went flying; Maechen sailed beyond them, unable to find purchase.   They all hit the railing hard, but she managed to catch it with one hand and bend her torso around it.  Braska scrabbled for a grip, his waterlogged robes slick against the polished metal.  Maechen, already weakened, slipped as the ship lurched when Sin rammed it again.  He flew overboard, an expression of horror on his face.

“Gramps!” she screamed as he disappeared below the surface of the churning ocean.   _He’s already dead.  He’ll be fine,_ she told herself, but couldn’t quite stifle her panic.

The ship careened through the ocean like a staggering drunk, before righting itself into a less precarious tilt.

“Rikku!” Braska managed, steadying his footing.  “I need my staff!”

“Jecht and Auron are on it!” she shouted.  “It’s too dangerous to run after them with the ship like this!  They’ll come to us!”

“I don’t think it’s attacking the ship,” Braska told her urgently.  “Sin is going for Kilika or Luca.  We must do something!”  He trailed off, spotting Jecht as he re-emerged onto the deck.  “There!”

Rikku wrapped tight fingers around Braska’s wrist before he could take off without her.  “You hang on to me no matter what!” she ordered.  “If Sin pushes the boat again you’ll be a goner in those robes!”

Braska gave her a quick nod, and together they raced across the deck.  

“Here!”  Jecht tossed the Godhand at Rikku.  She caught it and released Braska, slamming the weapon onto her wrist with a minute sigh of relief.  At her side, Braska was gripping his staff and trying to dance despite the rolling of the ship.

“You gotta be crazy, man!”  Jecht stopped him.  “You can’t go into Rapture here!”  He scowled and pointed at Rikku.  “Keep ‘im from doin’ anythin’ stupid.  Knock ‘im out if you have to,” he said shortly.  “I need to get Auron his sword.”

“I won’t stand here uselessly!” Braska spat, clutching his staff as Jecht darted away.  He swung out his arm to begin summoning.

Rikku parried, shoving the staff down with a sharp clang.  “Don’t even think it!” she hissed, meeting his glare.  “We’re trying to keep you alive!”

“And I’m trying to – “  Braska’s angry words cut off as a shadow loomed over them.  Looking up, Rikku saw the giant, rippling hide of Sin rising out of the water – right next to the edge of the boat.

“You were wrong about the target,” Rikku squeaked, eyes widening in terror.  The ship groaned, wood protesting as the portside of the deck rapidly rose.  She grabbed Braska’s arm and dragged him towards the central mast.  The angle was already high enough to make the last few steps almost too difficult to manage.  Leaping, she caught a loose rope from the sail and tried to lash it around his wrist.

“You first,” Braska yelled, pushing the rope towards her as the floor continued to tilt under their feet.

“No time!” Rikku screamed as the deck rose too sharply for their footing to continue to hold.  She clutched onto the rope as her feet slid backwards, and somehow forced her hand with the death-grip around Braska’s wrist towards it.  “Hold on!”

They were jerked into the air, and pieces of broken wood – and even a few sailors – went flying past them.   _Where are Auron and Jecht?_  Braska’s weight pulled painfully at her arm.

“I can’t…”

She watched Braska’s fingers slip against the slick rope in his one-handed grip.  “Let go of your staff!” she shouted.

He shook his head, face white, and out of desperation Rikku swung her legs out, trying to catch his torso.  “Let it go!” she screamed again, even as he slipped through her leg-lock.

Braska fell, mouth open in surprise, and landed in the water in a bright splash of color.  His robes billowed around him like a flower closing its petals to the night, and then he was gone, sinking below the depths.

Panicked, her eyes flitted around the deck, looking for the safest way to reach the water.  She spotted Auron and Jecht on the bridge with the captain as she searched – each hanging onto whatever was bolted down.  From the looks on their faces, they’d seen Braska’s fall.  Auron’s expression was grim, and he gave her the tiniest of nods.  

 _I love you,_ she thought as she took a deep breath.  Then she let go of the rope and flipped herself, turning her fall into a dive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “But the Al Bhed can do magic!” I hear you guys saying. After all, Brother electrocuted Rikku with a Thunder spell when she was young. It doesn’t really matter as long as Bro wasn’t casting in front of Maechen, who still didn’t know the Al Bhed could wield magic at that point.
> 
> … although it would be hilarious if BROTHER was the first Al Bhed able to wield magic, wouldn’t it? ;)


	39. Wrecked

_Twenty-two…_

Rikku prepared for the shock of entering the cold water, counting the seconds down in her head.

_Twenty-one…_

She hit the surface with a splash and barrelled under, bubbles streaming past as she sank into the depths.

_Seventeen…_

She briefly regretted lacking the time to don her goggles, then turned upright. Sculling water, she spun, searching for any sign of Braska.

_Fifteen…_

The encroaching evening wasn’t helping; the existing light was rapidly disappearing, swallowed in the shadows of thrashing bodies and floating debris. Some of them were fiends, Rikku realized, both spawned by and attracted to Sin.

_Ten…_

Frustrated, she dove deeper into the water. It was impossible to see anything in the murky darkness. Braska could be _anywhere_ ; the one thing she knew was that he’d be dragged down, both by his waterlogged robes and lack of swimming ability.

_Seven…_

She had to find him quickly. In that moment she both hated and loved Brother. At least she knew what to expect, not that it would make the experience suck any less than the first time.

_Three…_

Air escaped her lungs as she mouthed the words underwater, gesturing. The Thunder spell sparked to life in her hands, scattering her mental count as it crackled around her body. Shock raced through every nerve ending as she pushed the spell outwards.

_Sixty?_

She revised her count as she lost seconds of breath from her impromptu electrocution.

_No, let’s go with fifty!_

The spell pulsed into the depths, flying in every direction and illuminating the water with an otherworldly glow.

_Forty-seven..._

She spun, eyes darting back and forth. _There_ – no, that was the scaled hide of a fiend. She pushed back quickly, disengaging before it could attack her.

_Forty-five…_

Again, a flash lit the depths as she re-cast; she was better prepared for the ensuing shock this time. Something glinted and she surged towards it, only to recognize the metal grating of the ship’s grill, also lost to the sea.

_Thirty…_

Another Thunder spell. Shaking away the aftershocks, she scanned the depths with increasing desperation.

_Twenty-seven…_

There was a drifting mass below her, still crackling with residual energy from the magic. It was large and ragged – most likely a fiend, if the huge limb-like extensions were any gauge. She dove after it anyway.

_Twenty-two…_

Hope began to grow when it didn’t move to attack her. A final spell illuminated the lumpy figure and something shone in front of it – a staff. _Braska’s_ staff! The lumps weren’t large, monstrous appendages – they were the trails of his voluminous robes, billowing around him like a dark burst of clouds. He wasn’t struggling, but his hand still gripped the weapon and his eyes were purposefully closed.

_Eighteen..._

At least someone, presumably Raenn, had taught him some Al Bhed deep sea survival skills. He would have been in greater trouble trying to struggle his way to the surface in his outfit. Still, his expression was tightening.

_Fifteen… fifteen seconds to reach the surface from here._

Rikku swam towards Braska, grappled through the mounds of loose fabric, and hooked her hands under his arms. He started a little at her touch.

_Thirteen…_

She grimaced and kicked, powerful strokes meant to bring them up as quickly as possible.

_Ten…_

The surface seemed so far away. Her muscles protested every moment, twitching from the multiple electrocutions.

_Five…_

Braska began to convulse, fighting to keep his body from searching for the breath he couldn’t take. They weren’t going to make it.

_Four..._

One minute and thirty-seven seconds – that was as long as Braska could last underwater.

_Three…_

And of that, only seconds were left.

_Two..._

She stopped swimming and spun to face him, tired and angry. Pinching his nose shut, she pressed her mouth against his and forced it open.

_One!_

Braska hungrily inhaled, sucking in the air she blew into his mouth. She cut him off; her own lungs were starting to burn. He’d regained control of his body for the moment, at least.

_Fifteen seconds extra, maybe?_

Grabbing Braska’s robes, she hauled them upwards. It was easier now that he was trying to help her, although he still wouldn’t release that ridiculous staff. Rikku swore she’d crack it over his head once they were back on solid ground.

They broke the surface at her mental count of eight, gasping for sweet air. The distant screams of humans and fiends surrounded them, but the epicenter of the battle was further away than she’d expected.

 _“We are so screwed!”_ she cursed in Al Bhed, as some of the fiends closed in.

 _“You may be right,”_ Braska agreed, startling her. She’d forgotten he spoke it, too.

Ignoring the telltale fins circling them, she turned to Braska and held up her Godhand. It crackled and snapped as she moved it towards him.

He balked. “What – ”

“Do you actually want to drown?” she asked curtly, using her weapon to cut away his robes. She slashed the fabric at the shoulders, and then at his chest, before slicing mercilessly through the wide belt decorated with the symbol of Yevon. The newly-freed robes sunk like a stone. She pulled off his flapping sleeves but didn’t discard them immediately.

Grabbing Braska’s staff, she hooked it horizontally across her waist. “Get behind me,” she said, eying the approaching fins. _Nothing like a handicap to make a water fight interesting._ “Don’t let go of that _tysh cdyvv_ , no matter what happens!” she instructed, lashing his wrists to the weapon with the remains of his sleeves. “And hold your breath if we dive,” she added, testing her range of motion.

The sahagin closest to them raised its head above the water.

“Here it comes!” she shouted.

The fiend rushed them, splitting the water into two arcs. She fed it a celestially-powered punch for the trouble; the sudden movement slammed Braska’s weight against her and they tipped headfirst into the ocean.

Rikku righted them, spluttering, as the fiend screeched and exploded into pyreflies.

“Are you sure this will work?” Braska asked, coughing.

“It’s not like I’m gonna give up and die here!” she answered, trying to find the Pualu beyond the enraged hoard of aquatic fiends that circled them.

“Untie me and let me go,” he told her.

Ignoring him, she twisted them to face the next fiend: another sahagin, all razor-sharp fins and pointed teeth. She jabbed it – wheezing as the staff dug into her torso – but it was only a glancing blow. With Braska’s dead weight on her back, competing against the fiend’s speed was almost impossible.

The sahagin raced past, scoring them with an errant fin; their blood trailed into the sea, inciting the other fiends into a frenzy. The water frothed.

“Rikku, if you let me go – ”

“Shut up!” Rikku blocked an attack and reduced another sahagin to pyreflies. The fish were weak, but had them greatly outnumbered. “You said the same thing on the ship! Are you even serious about this whole Pilgrimage?” she tried to joke, scanning the surrounding fiends.

He huffed a tired laugh against her back. “You can still make it back if you swim hard. I’m weighing you down. Literally,” he added, somewhat wry.

The remaining fleet of sahagin backed away, clearly agitated by something she hadn’t spotted.

 _That’s not good._ “You know Auron’d just kill me when I got there,” she answered. “Hold your breath.” As soon as Braska had inhaled, she dove.

It was easier to maneuver their bound bodies in the water rather than fight against the churning waves; she rotated them in small circles, searching for the source of the sahagins’ retreat.

A pair of horns approached and her eyes widened. _Rusty gearbuckets!_ She broke the surface, gasping.

“What is it?”

“Trouble,” Rikku told him, turning to face the danger. “I think it’s a remora.”

The fiend’s fins and horns crested and Braska tensed behind her. “That’s… quite large,” he said. “There’s still time – ”

“You’re not fish bait!” she shouted, headbutting Braska to silence him. He grunted in pain. “Let me concentrate!”

An idea formed as the remora came closer. _Well, it’s not crazier than anything else we’ve done so far…_ She readied her arms, preparing the Godhand. “Hang on!”

The remora leapt at them, its fanged mouth wide and streaming water. Rikku threw herself backwards, dodging out of its path as it came close enough to almost scrape the skin off her nose.

 _You’d better not die from just this, you ugly fishface!_ She punched it solidly in the side as it passed. The Celestial weapon heard her request, powering the hit with enough velocity to send her arm clean through the fiend’s tail.

The remora thrashed and let out an inhuman scream, yanking them back and forth as it attempted to dislodge them.

Shoulder-deep in the fiend’s tail, Rikku grabbed the top fin with her free hand and hung on for dear life as the remora leapt and lifted them out of the water.

“Breathe!” she managed to yell before they hit the ocean again.

The panicked fiend dragged them through the depths, barrelling away at speeds only the Hypello could challenge. Shutting her eyes at the pressure, Rikku mentally counted down the seconds. When they neared one minute, she twisted her arm in the fish’s tail.

Another wild thrash whipped them about, but with a few adjustments, she figured out how to force the fiend to surface. She gasped for air as they broke above the water, unable to see more than the dark, churning sea and disjointed flashes of the night sky.

The fiend submerged them again and she tried to work her arm free of its tail. The pattern repeated, precious minutes ticking by.

The remora had moved them away from the immediate danger of Sin’s battle, but she had no idea what direction they were travelling. From the fading sense of Sin’s toxin, however, it seemed they were being dragged into the middle of nowhere.

Drawing her knees up, she planted her feet on the remora’s side. Grunting, she pushed herself away – finally tearing her arm free – and then hit it hard with the Godhand. The Celestial weapon powered up, blasting the fiend into a spiral of pyreflies. With a quick check to make sure it was gone for good, she pushed them towards the surface.

After they broke through, she tried to catch her bearings, heaving air into her lungs. Braska still seemed to be alive, which was good news, although the makeshift ties around his wrists had rubbed his skin raw. That, coupled with the salty water... “You alright?” she gasped, craning her neck.

His fingers flexed around the staff, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“I could be better,” Braska panted, dropping his head against her shoulder. “Sin?”

“It’s far away, I think,” she said, treading the water. “There aren’t any more fiends either. They must all still be at the Pualu.” She thought of Auron, dangling inside the nearly flipped boat, just as powerless against gravity as she had been. She thought of the size of Sin’s dorsal fin. She thought of Jecht, trying to swim through the debris with Auron’s dead weight in his arms. A tickling sensation worked its way up her throat, threatening to erupt into a shrill giggle – panic, she realized, smothering it and giving herself a mental slap.

Braska shuddered; she wondered if he was imagining those same things.

 _You can’t afford to lose your cool. Guard your emotions, then guard your summoner!_ The stern voice in her head sounded a lot like Auron; it helped calm her nerves. Focusing on their surroundings, she found nothing but dark water swallowing up the starlight as far as she could see.

“And what now?” Braska asked her, quietly enough that the question was almost lost to the sound of the lapping water.

Rikku sighed. “I guess we swim,” she said, taking another look at the sky. She’d never been much of a navigator. That job had always been left to Brother – Cid had made sure they were attached at the hip after what had happened to Keyakku on his maiden sea voyage. Still, she knew enough of the constellations to orient herself.

Finding the proper star, she pointed. “That way’s north,” she explained. “If we keep swimming, we might hit Luca’s shoreline. I think we were closer to it than Kilika when Sin hit us. It’s our best chance.”

“Our only chance,” he corrected her. He seemed to pull himself together. “Will you release me now? I can swim.”

Rikku snorted, trying to find a comfortable way to perform a stroke without having the staff dig even deeper. Her ribs felt tender; her abdomen was most likely tattooed with a staff-shaped bruise. “Not on your life. I bet you’re more exhausted than I am! Just hang on. Kick your legs if you can.”

“I wish you didn’t have to carry me,” Braska mumbled. His head dropped again against her shoulder. She reached around to pull his helmet off, annoyed at the enormous soaked feather that flopped into her eyes. Removing the circlet she’d modified from the helmet’s crown, she let everything else sink into the ocean, then shoved the last bit of Braska’s protective gear back onto his head.

“First my robes and now my helmet? I won’t be recognized if they find us,” he joked weakly.

“ _When_ they find us,” she told him, settling her aching muscles into the rhythm of swimming. “Don’t give up. You still have your staff.”

“Yes,” he agreed, attempting to move his legs in the water as well. “I can still summon. There is always hope.”

  
“That’s the spirit,” she replied tiredly. Then she gave up on conversation, concentrating on regulating her harsh breaths as they paddled awkwardly through the water, aided only by the dim light of stars.

**.x.x.x.**

_Left. Now the right. Left. Now the right._ The words droned in Rikku’s head, keeping her focused. Auron’s voice was calm and authoritative as he guided Jecht through his sword drills. She smiled – he could be a brutal taskmaster sometimes.

Her head nodded forward and a splash of salty water went up her nose. Snorting and coughing, she resumed her pace, dragging one arm in front of the other. _Left. Now the right. Left. I said_ **_left!_ ** _Again, from the beginning!_ Auron’s voice cracked like a whip, and Rikku jerked away from the slumber she’d been drifting towards. Her head bumped against Braska’s, who had long since passed out.

The movement roused him. He groaned, then started. “My arms,” he hissed. Then, “Rikku?”

  
“ _Still alive,_ ” she answered, agreeing with his complaint. Her arms felt like they were going to fall off, torn right out of her shoulder sockets. _Left. Now the right._

“Rikku? Rikku! You must untie me!”

Shaking herself out of her stupor, she scowled. “ _You’ll fall off and die,_ ” she muttered, belatedly realizing she had switched to her native tongue. She swung one arm out again, then the other, a sloppy parody of a proper swimming stroke.

“Listen to me! _Myht!_ There is land!” Braska struggled, pulling her in a different direction. The staff dug into the bruised flesh of her sides.

“Owwie! OWW!” Rikku came to her senses. “Stop it, I’m awake!” She gingerly twisted in the direction Braska was trying to point her towards.

A collection of rocks scattered throughout the water greeted her sight; on closer inspection, they looked like rubble from a destroyed city. Many were simply sharp points rising out of the sea, but a few were large enough to hold a person, perhaps even two if they squeezed. A large structure jutted up from the center of the stones, but she was too far away to tell what it was.

 _Good enough._ She’d take anything at this point. Forcing her tired arms – limp and almost useless – onward, she dragged them to the rocks.

More of the ruin came into view as they neared the one mostly-intact structure towering over them all – once she was close enough, she realized it was a ravaged, partially sunken temple. The roof and a good portion of its walls were missing, but it was unmistakable all the same, even in the darkness.

 _Of all the places to land…_ Maybe she was wrong?

“We’ve reached Baaj,” Braska breathed in wonder, confirming her suspicion. “Look at those unweathered stones. These ruins are recent.”

The thrill of fear that should have struck her at the mention of the temple was more like a dull, distant whisper. She stroked desperately through the water, energized by the promise of rest.

It became easier when Braska tried to help her. This time, his legs were stronger than her own; he was the one pushing her.

The unending slog continued. _Left. Now the right. Left_ –

“Watch out!” Braska yelled, right before she propelled them into one of the smaller ruins.

She smashed against the raised stone with a gasp; Braska’s staff splintered with a sharp crack, and his weight slid from her back.

“Braska!” she shouted, turning to reach for him with reflexes dulled by exhaustion. But, he’d also managed to grab onto the rock. Her heart climbed back down her throat when she saw him. His staff was still tied to his wrists, but it had broken into two rough pieces.

Tiredly, he hauled himself onto a raised outcropping and sat down, his back bowed. Satisfied that he wasn’t about to drown after all her hard work, she flopped face first onto the flattened stone shelf below him, not even bothering to pull her legs out of the water. She lay there, revelling in the surprisingly painful sensation of _not moving._

_Thank machina._

Rikku started to doze, but was rudely awakened by a thunk of wood hitting stone close by her ear. Braska gasped – she opened her eyes to investigate – holding a trembling hand over his bloody wrist, his face tight with pain. Whispering, a weak green glow enveloped his hands and climbed up his arms. The tension on his face eased as his skin knit back together. He sighed in relief before looking down at her listlessly. Then his empty gaze swept to her side.

Confused, she turned her head, wincing as even the muscles in her neck protested the simple action.

One broken half of the summoning staff lay next to her. She moved to grasp it, but her arm spasmed, knocking it off the inclined surface. It hit the water with a soft splash and its tasseled end quickly sunk from view.

“I am completely useless,” Braska told her bitterly.

Pushing past the pain of her aching joints, Rikku pulled herself out of the water and sat on her knees. She frowned. “You can still summon without a staff, you know.” She thought of Seymour summoning Anima while trying to kill them in Macalania’s temple and of Yuna diving off the chapel heights in Bevelle, surrounded by a ring of light before Valefor caught her. “You can do it if you try!”

Braska dropped his head. “Only the greatest of summoners can achieve that,” he said, reaching for the lower half of his broken staff. He fumbled it between clumsy fingers, a mirthless grin on his face. “Your faith in me is misplaced.”

Gearing up for Pep Talk No. 385, she said, “You’re always beating yourself up – ”

“No!” His hands clenched and one fist weakly slapped the stone next to him. He hissed in pain. “No. I’ve already tried.” He dropped the remainder of his broken staff into the water. “When you rescued me, I was trying to summon.”

She thought of him floating underwater, perfectly still, his face masked in what she now realized was concentration. “You would have drowned when you entered Rapture,” she pointed out.

“I’d have had a minute and twenty-odd seconds to do something about it,” he answered. Then he looked away. “Had I been successful.”

Rikku sat back. Braska was, undoubtedly, a powerful magician; the skill with which he wielded white magic was more on par with Lulu’s casual grace than his daughter’s hesitant attempts. She’d never stopped to consider that he wouldn’t also be a powerful summoner.

After all, Yuna was the most powerful summoner she’d ever seen, defeating every challenger she ever faced – Isaaru, Seymour, Belgemine, and even the corrupted versions of her own aeons in the end. She’d always thought her cousin had inherited those powers from her father. Now, as she picked apart Braska’s admittance, she came to understand that the power of a summoner wasn’t the strength of one’s magic. It was a matter of will.

It was strange sometimes, seeing how different the father and daughter could be, even while they walked the same path.

“You can still work on it,” she tried, hoping to lift his spirits.

Braska let out a short laugh, which turned into a pained groan as he tried to roll the stiffness from his shoulders. “I’ll have to. The Temple of Baaj was abandoned by Yevon after Sin destroyed the surrounding island settlement. There isn’t even a Fayth stored here anymore. We’re on our own.”

Rikku thought of Seymour. A shiver ran down her back. “Are you _sure?_ ”

“Quite.” He tried to lift his arms again and winced. She shrugged in sympathy, causing a lance of pain to run down her own arms, dangling at her side like useless ochu tentacles. He gave her a wry smile. “I suppose I could try to heal you with my foot,” he offered. “I’m not certain my aim would be accurate, though.”

“Let’s wait it out until the sun comes up,” she replied, slumping against the ledge Braska was sitting on. It was difficult without the use of her arms. She let her legs sprawl and stared at the temple’s ominous shadow overhead.

“Then, allow me to tell you why there is no longer a Fayth stored here.” Braska nudged her shoulder with a toe; his boots had been lost sometime during their mad escape. Despite his joke, Rikku still twitched when she felt him mumble and channel magic through the contact on her shoulder, closing the wound the sahagin had made and easing the ache in her arms and ribs.

“Showoff,” she muttered with a smile, leaning back as the creeping exhaustion returned.

“Baaj was once the home of the aeon Leviathan,” Braska began. “A mighty dragon of the sea. They say it was very large, and could channel water magic most effectively. A true beast to be feared.”

“Mmm?” Rikku said muzzily. “Never heard of anyone using it…”

“That is because Leviathan was destroyed over two hundred years ago, and the records were suppressed by the Church. It would be too demoralizing to let the people know a Fayth could be killed, and Baaj has always been a seat of controversy and conflict. Did you know the Al Bhed once razed this place to the ground in an attempt to stop the Final Summoning?”

She blinked, lifting her head. “Operation Seasnake. Yeah, we learned about that one in school. I didn’t know the city of Baaj was this big though.”

“I know you are no fan of the Church, but not all of the Al Bhed’s history is proud either,” Braska told her pointedly. “Yevon remembers that battle with great sorrow and bitterness. Many innocent people died that day, not just the priests and warrior-monks.”

Rikku dropped her head. “History sounds different when you’re telling it,” she said. “Operation Seasnake was supposed to be one of our greatest accomplishments.”

“History is written by the victors. The truth of things is much harder to discover,” Braska replied.

“The truth isn’t whatever your Yevonite history books told you,” she muttered. Anger roused her, giving her a spark of energy. “You _know_ they lie about us. We’re easy targets, we always have been!”

“Whatever the truth really is has been hidden by time,” Braska conceded. “And the city of Baaj endured, surviving everything but attacks from Sin itself. The one this year was decisive, of course.”

They both eyed the ruins, evidence of the newly-slain corpse of Baaj.

“But, that is not how Leviathan was lost,” Braska continued, “it was Sin’s assault on the temple two centuries ago that cracked the Fayth stone and destroyed the aeon. They say summoner Kisaragi was in Rapture when it happened. He died the moment the aeon did, when the connection between them was permanently broken.”

Rikku shivered. _So, that’s why the Final Summoning is fatal_ . Yu Yevon’s mindless thirst for a host broke the bond between an aeon and summoner, even during Rapture. _He really was the one summoner left in Spira more powerful than Yuna at the end._ “That’s an awful way to go.”

“Perhaps so. But even from the ashes of that defeat, a victory arose. His daughter followed in his footsteps and defeated Sin less than a decade later. That Calm was a golden era for Baaj, despite the loss of the Fayth.”

Shifting uncomfortably at the parallels to Braska and Yuna’s own story, she shook her head. “I don’t like it here. This place gives me the creeps.”

“I feel sorrow to see it reduced to this,” he told her. “Baaj was a great hope for Yevon. They say the first half-Guado was to become high priest of the temple here. Empty though it may be, his position would still have been a powerful symbol. A pity that that, too, was wiped away by Sin.”

“You know about Seymour?” Rikku asked.

His brow furrowed. “Was that the young man’s name? There were only rumors among the higher echelons in my order, ones which I stopped being privy to when I fell out of favor,” he admitted with a disappointed shrug. “How did you learn of him?”

 _Oh, he just tried to kill us about sixty million times with his mom and his army of Guado sycophants,_ Rikku thought. “We have good spies,” was what she said instead.

“I see,” agreed Braska, though he clearly didn’t. They were both too tired to press the issue, so instead he slid down from his ledge. She scooted over as much as possible on the tiny perch. He flopped down beside her with an atypical lack of grace; his feet splashed into the water.

“We’re both gonna be soggy, armless wonders when the sun rises,” she said with a weary laugh.

“Then, at least we will be a matched pair,” he replied with a faint smile.

Her grin faded, and she looked over the ruins. “Do you think Auron and Jecht will be okay?” she asked in a small voice. She _knew_ Auron couldn’t swim and kicked herself for not forcing lessons on him earlier.

“If they work together, they can accomplish the impossible,” Braska answered.

She snorted. “Them working together? That’s already pretty impossible.” She laughed, then again, and again, and found she couldn’t stop. _It wasn’t that funny._ Another laugh tumbled out of her, and she didn’t even have the energy to be mortified when she noticed she was crying.

Braska pressed his knee against hers. “Rikku. They’ll be fine. Auron and Jecht are survivors. It’s only a matter of days before they come here. Auron will be leading the charge of course, complaining about the length of time it took to find us, and Jecht will bestow us with pearls of wisdom about the journey.”

She hiccuped, another ugly sob stuttering out of her chest. “I-I-I didn’t even apologize after we fought!” She thumped her head against the ledge. “Not fair! Why’d this have to happen now? I just told him I loved him!”

Managing to move his hand toward hers with a grimace, he touched her wrist. “All will be well. You are simply tired. Let go of your worries and rest now.”

If she hadn’t known better, she might have suspected Braska had cast a sleep spell on her. But there was no tingle of magic that accompanied his soft touch, merely the soothing tones of his voice as he launched into an old children’s tale of a beautiful summoner and the valiant Guardian who loved her.

Still, even as she felt herself giving in to her exhaustion, she turned her head against Braska’s shoulder, bothered by a niggling desire to have the final word. “Don’t like the story of Yunalesca and Zaon much,” she grumbled.

“What a strange girl you are,” Braska murmured as she drifted away.

**.x.x.x.**

For Rikku, sleep was an uneasy thing, plagued by nightmares – of darkness, Sin, and drowning. She dreamed of Auron, his face pale and still, drifting through the water. She couldn’t reach out, arms bound by bands of hot iron against her sides. Odd flashes of murky green light burst around them, and she struggled to free herself. Auron opened one eye, his face aging while the hair at his temples turned grey.

Her mouth flew open, expelling the breath she’d been holding.

“Worry about yourself,” he told her. “I am already – ”

“NO!” Rikku sat up with a gasp, then caught herself as she fell halfway into cool water. She whimpered as reality refocused – she could move her arms again, at least, but _sweet machina_ , it hurt. Gingerly, she pulled herself back against Braska’s side.

He was still sleeping and looked exhausted by their journey. His long braid, usually impeccably groomed, lay in a limp and tangled mess to one side. The tattered remains of the layered robe she’d brutally refashioned still clung around his neck and shoulders. Underneath the ripped cloth, he was wearing a much more familiar-looking undershirt and patterned pair of shorts. His feet were bare.

Daylight was approaching – by noon, they’d be baking in the stifling heat without shelter – but at the moment, she was more concerned with the chill Braska was likely feeling. She wasn’t much better off, still dressed in her skimpy yellow bikini and ribboned sleeves from the Blitzball game.

One of the sleeves was not-so-ribboned anymore; the arm she had hooked through the remora had reduced most of it to shaggy tatters. With a shrug, Rikku pulled it off. Checking her pouches, she grimaced. Their luck throughout the Pilgrimage so far had taught her never to travel unprepared, but the bulk of her clothes, supplies and even her twin daggers were with her pack – most likely on the bottom of the ocean floor. Or, worse yet, lost somewhere in Sin’s gigantic belly.

Her eyebrow twitched. _We finally hit it big in Luca, and what does Sin do? Eat our money!_

The indignation was doing wonders to warm her up. Sifting through her remaining supplies, she found a minor healing draught and downed it, sighing as the potion eased the residual ache in her arms.

Braska stirred. “Unn,” he groaned, wincing. “I’m getting too old for this.” He rolled his shoulders with another wince, then cast a healing spell over himself, exhaling with relief.

“Morning,” Rikku said with forced cheer. “I could use some of that too, you know!”

“Good morning, Rikku,” he said, sending a soothing wash of magic over her.

She nearly cried as the crippling soreness receded into a barely-noticeable twinge. Twisting her arms experimentally, she smiled in thanks. “Wow, I needed that. And what do you mean, too old for this? You’re almost the same age as Auron and Jecht. Isn’t that what people usually call the prime of their lives?”

Braska stared at her, then laughed. “Is that what you think? What a wonderful way to start my morning.”

“What? What’d I say?”

He shook his head, grinning, and clambered to his feet. Removing the remains of his old robe, he examined the tattered flaps with regret. “We should find shelter and food. I haven’t any supplies, and I doubt you’re much better off.”

Rikku scrambled to her feet as well, her curiosity ignited. “Hey, don’t think I’m gonna let this go! I’ll totally bug you about this for the entire time we’re stuck here. That could be days! _Weeks!”_

“Isn’t that all the more reason to find shelter inside of the Temple?” Braska asked, giving her an innocent look.

She wasn’t fooled. “Nice try, but you can’t distract me that easily _,_ ” she warned, putting her hands on her hips.

Braska pursed his lips. “Rikku. It’s poor manners to demand the age of your travelling companions.”

“We’re shipwrecked in some abandoned ruins in the middle of nowhere with no rescue in sight, and you’re worried about me being polite?” She scratched her head. “You’d worry about _me_ being _polite_ even if we were in the middle of Luca right now?”

He sighed. “True. Still, we have more pressing concerns, don’t we?” He looked towards the abandoned tower. “I believe I could manage to swim across these waters on my own.”

Judging the distance between their small isle of respite and the larger ruin, Rikku nodded in agreement. “Okay, I hear a ‘but’ in there. What’s up?”

Face tightening, Braska turned to her. “I truly am useless right now. I would not be of any assistance in a battle, should we meet resistance.” Slight anger bled into his expression. “It seems I will have to completely rely on you once again. I am sorry.”

“Don’t apologize!” She couldn’t understand Braska’s extreme mood swings – from his usual optimism into this fatalistic pessimism. Was it some kind of self-esteem thing? “You already healed us, didn’t you? That’s something!”

“It’s not enough,” he said sharply, before exhaling through his nose. “My apologies. I should not take my temper out on you. It is my failing, not yours.”

“You’re a real ball of fun right now, you know?” she said. “But, since you’re so bent out of shape about this...” Reaching down, she unclasped her garment grid. “It should still fit you, unless you ate a lot of lobster specials while you were in Luca.”

Braska took the belt with a look of surprise. “But, what of yourself? This is your weapon. What will you…”

She held up the Godhand and made the extensions click together like pincers.

“I see,” he finished meekly, donning the belt. It snapped into place and he sucked in a breath. “Thank you, I think.”

“You think?” Rikku tossed her hair. “You’re wearing one of the greatest machina inventions known to Spira and you’re not sure it’s a good thing?”

“I’m not certain I want to activate any of your… _dresses,_ ” he amended, touching the various spheres.

“You did fine with the Alchemist dressphere before,” she told him. “And it’s not like the Lady Luck sphere will put you in a dress. It changes to suit the personality of the user.” She paused, considering Braska’s love of sweeping, heavy robes. “Although, if you _like_ wearing dresses…”

“Why thank you, Rikku,” Braska said dryly. “I am touched by that assumption.” An uncomfortable look passed over his face. “But will it make me think and react like… _Jecht?_ ”

She blanched. “ _Yeah_ … maybe you should stick to the offensive dresspheres.” She pointed at the key spheres on the belt. “That one’s the Alchemist. It comes with a gun, but you probably don’t really need it because it’s more of a healing outfit. Over here is the Songstress – skip that if you can. It’s a little, uh, haunted.” Braska looked uneasy at her explanation. “And the last one we’ve got is the Samurai – probably your best bet if you need to fight something in close quarters, but don’t use it underwater…”

She trailed off, thinking of how they’d left Auron on the sinking ship. “Auron… he can’t swim.”

“I will try not to use it at all,” Braska told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Perhaps the black magics contained in your belt will be enough to tide us over.”

Wiping her suddenly damp eyes, she gave Braska a watery smile. “Just don’t cast any Thunder spells underwater, either. I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime.”

“Duly noted,” he promised, straightening. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Rikku said. “Lemmie go first, just in case.” At Braska’s nod, she took a deep breath and dove into the water to survey the surrounding area. The telltale flicker of fins warned her that it wasn’t exactly safe, but nothing larger than a piranha seemed to inhabit the ruins. The water was also shallower that she expected; still too deep to walk through, but not a yawning pit of fathomless depths as she’d initially feared. Satisfied, Rikku surfaced.

“It’s not that deep,” she called out, waving. “There aren’t too many fiends, either. I think you’re good!”

Braska waded into the water and kicked off into a slow dog paddle.

Rikku wrinkled her nose. “Really?” she asked as he splashed his way over to her.

“I never claimed to be good at swimming, merely that I could manage it,” he huffed.

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna call every piranha around to us if you keep splashing like that,” she chided. “Follow my lead. Swim like you’re bellysliding over the water. If you wanna go fast, stretch your arms out more. Think of them like your propellers!”

She swam in freestyle circles to demonstrate. “If you wanna see where you’re going, then stick your arms forward like this. You don’t need to keep your nose out of the water completely either, just go slowly and don’t splash too much. And kick your legs out like a frog!” She circled around him again. “Got it?”

“No,” Braska said, giving it a try. After a few uncoordinated strokes and sputters, he seemed to get the hang of it. “But, I think I can manage this.”

“Great! You know how you can thank me?”

Braska angled towards the temple and swam slowly forward. “By reaching our goal sometime this morning?”

Rikku smirked, catching up to him easily. “By telling me how old you are.”

“Sorry. I’m concentrating on swimming,” he replied, ignoring the tongue she stuck out at him.

The rest of their watery journey passed with only a few words exchanged – “Piranha, I got it!” or, “Can we rest for a moment? My arms are still weak,” and one, “Hey, you think we can eat that?” After a short repurposing of one of her belt pouches, Rikku was also placed in charge of chasing after their lunch.

Finally, they climbed onto the steps and entered the broken temple. Braska flopped onto his back. “That was quite a workout,” he breathed.

“What work? I’m the one who killed all the wildlife,” Rikku told him, fingers tight on her makeshift fishnet. She opened the pouch and spilled its contents. Two large, silvery fish flopped in protest; she quickly put them out of their misery. “I also got us some lunch,” she added, setting her weapon aside to clean the catch with her small tooling knife. “Think you can start a fire?”

Braska sat up, surveying the broken remains of the antechamber. “That may not be the best idea,” he warned her. “The last time I tried, I brought half of the forest down upon us. These walls do not seem very stable.”

She paused and looked up, a fish still in hand. “Well, you gotta learn how to control it sometime,” she mused. “At least here, there’s no roof to fall on us. Find something burnable and give it a try!” She refocused on her task and left Braska to the job of making their camp. After a few moments, the sounds of objects being dragged and dropped ceased, and a peaceful silence settled.

 _Finally. A break from all that excitement._ She started gutting the second fish.

Then, she nearly skinned her arm as a loud explosion rang through the temple, shaking the foundation and sending dust and silt flying from the walls. A larger piece of stone crumbled backwards and fell into the water with a loud splash. Rikku turned around, eyes wide.

Braska was pointing at the firepit with a surprised expression, his face and formerly white shirt now stained black with soot. The small fire pit he’d cobbled together was smoking, the rocks welded together by intense heat. A few embers still glowed in the center of the pit, sending tendrils of smoke into the air.

“Yeah,” she said dazedly. “Maybe I should take care of the fire next time.”

“It wasn’t as bad as my first attempt,” Braska told her, moving aside as she grabbed the prepared fish and lay them across the smoking coals.

“You’re a natural,” Rikku told him, and he gave her a small smile of gratitude. “A natural disaster,” she added with a smirk and his smile fell. “Now, tell me how old you are!”

Braska sighed and sat back, reaching for his ragged braid. “Would you happen to have a comb amongst your supplies?” he asked.

Rikku pointed at her own shock of messy, braided hair.

“I suppose not,” he added, unplaiting the tangles. “You should take better care of your own. Your hair will only treat you as kindly as you treat it.”

She rolled her eyes and slumped back onto her elbows. “That’s what Auron said, too!” Her good mood evaporated.

Braska paused, then sighed. “Rikku, I am…” He trailed off, studying her face, and seemed to understand that another apology wouldn’t lighten the atmosphere. “... thirty-five.”

“Yeah,” Rikku said, only half-hearing his words. Then she fell backwards. “Wait a sec! Thirty- _what_?” she repeated, scrabbling over to Braska to pull his cheek. “But you look younger than Auron!” She sat back, dumbfounded. “What’s your secret?”

Braska colored, rubbing his cheek. “Living well?” he tried.

Frowning, she poked him. “Try again.”

“Contentment,” he said after a moment. “I suppose that is it. I have made peace with who I am, what I have done, and… what I am to do.” Then he smirked. “Having inherited the most fortunate features of both of my parents may also play a minor role.”

“That is _so_ not fair,” she pouted, still wondering at Braska’s ageless baby face. “Yunie’s gonna have it made when she gets old.”

His smile widened. “I enjoy the idea of Yuna living to a ripe old age.”

Her heart twinged; it had a worrying habit of doing that whenever Braska spoke about the future. “We can make it happen somehow,” she said, trying to rally herself into a better mood.

“...Rikku,” Braska said, soft and soulful.

“Hmm?” she asked, staring at him. _Blue eyes, like the sky on a sunny day_ . Braska was so hard to push away; he was so full of genuine affection for the world and everything in it that his feelings almost demanded a response from anyone surrounding him. _What am I going to do with you?_

“I think your fish is burning,” he continued, still soft and soulful.

“Ack!” She jumped, fumbling for her tools as the smell of charred fish filled the air. She scowled and heard Braska’s chuckle. _Did he just pull one on me?_ She shot a suspicious glance at him, passing over a hot fish.

“Why, thank you,” Braska said, the picture of graciousness and propriety as he accepted the meal. With his perfect posture and unbound hair spilling around him, he could have passed for refined nobility. Only the soot stains running across his forehead and shirt ruined the effect.

Rikku stubbornly ignored him, eating around the burned portion of her own meal. “You do stuff like that on purpose, don’tcha?”

He carefully pulled off a large flake of meat and blew on it, before meeting her eyes. “ _Stuff?_ I’m afraid you’ll have to be a bit more specific, I’ve no idea to what you are referring.” He popped the morsel into his mouth and chewed, his eyes trained on hers, then licked his thumb. Slowly.

 _”Stuff,”_ she repeated, scowling. “Like _that._ Geez, no wonder you drive Auron up the wall.”

Braska lowered his gaze and picked at the fish. “I suppose it is in my nature to tease. I enjoy my small rebellions against other peoples’ expectations. It’s amusing to test the limits of acceptance when others refuse to see beyond a priest’s robes.”

“What a rebel,” she deadpanned, pulling a bow off of her remaining sleeve and holding it out. “By the way, you look like you cleaned a chimney with your face.” He plucked the rag out of her hand with aplomb, not even flinching when she continued to needle him. “Did you spend all your time in the monasteries looking up the nuns’ skirts too?”

Braska managed to look offended even as he wiped his face clean. “You think me so uncivilized? Of course not. I only approached other willing deviants.”

He… couldn’t be serious. _My uncle’s a perv?_

He smirked at the frozen expression on her face. “Such a pedestal you ask me to stand on! I’m still a man, like any other.”

“Not really,” Rikku recovered, banishing her thought – hopefully forever. “You married an Al Bhed. _Nobody_ does that. Besides other Al Bhed I mean.”

“True… I suppose it was my unorthodox manner that first caught Raenn’s eye. I do not think she would have found a proselytizing missionary the least bit attractive otherwise.” He sighed. “But, that was so long ago. I have been, as you would say, _good,_ for many years now.”

Rikku nibbled on her fish, her appetite vanishing with the knots in her stomach. It was nice, getting to know more about Braska, but it also felt like she was sparring with him. His newfound playfulness and good humor were rubbing her the wrong way, as if he was _testing_ her for something… and she didn’t really understand the stakes in their battle of wits. She decided to cut to the chase, disliking the nuanced circles he was running around her.

“Is this ‘cause you’re gonna die soon?”

Braska’s expression darkened, and he tossed the remains of his meal into the fire. He glared. “And what if I said yes? What would you do?” He tilted his head, his long hair shifting in the breeze. “Would you try to run from me, trapped as you are here?”

 _He wasn’t supposed to admit to it! He never admits it!_ This attention he was giving her, his flirting – because that’s really what it was, she had to acknowledge – was all wrong. “I don’t love you,” she told him.

“I don’t care,” he answered her. “Besides. You are lying.”

Her surprise was quickly followed by indignation. “Excuse me?” It was the same feeling of having Auron’s hand on her hip, as though she was merely an accessory to his own thoughts and desires. Why was everyone trying to push her into a position she hadn’t chosen for herself? It made her bristle.

“You do not wish to be in a _relationship_ with me,” Braska said. “You want that of Auron. That is his one weakness, you know. He has never learned how to care for other people. It would be much simpler if you merely wanted to sleep with him.”

“Uh, well,” Rikku fumbled, caught flat-footed because he was right, at least about that. “Fine, okay, that’s true, and we’re _working on it,_ thank you very much, but why’d you call me a liar?”

Braska parted his hair and began to meticulously braid it. “You have put yourself into danger for my sake for no good reason, repeatedly. There were many times you could have simply walked away and allowed me to die. There were times I wished you _would,_ as it would spare both myself and Auron much anxiety.” His fingers worked quickly, securing the now-neatened end of the braid with the small strip of cloth she’d given him from her sleeve. “I’ve heard the cry of your beating heart even over the silence of your closed mouth.”

Rikku looked away, thinking of the way Auron had touched her just two nights ago. He’d tried to convey his feelings through his fingertips, even as they’d verbally clashed.

“I’ve often wondered why you feel so strongly,” Braska continued. “I have not done anything to earn your loyalty, not in the manner I have earned Auron’s over our years of friendship. Yet you are as true to me as he is.” Finishing, he stood up and walked over, seating himself by her side. “It isn’t the blind obedience of the faithful,” he mused. “You have never adhered to the Teachings, nor treated me as a holy man.” His hand snaked out and caught her chin, lifting it. “Nor am I a strategic piece to be arranged in your people’s war against Yevon. It’s a mystery.” He leaned forward. “I’m intrigued.”

Rikku leaned back, avoiding closer contact with him. _How am I supposed to tell him I love Yuna?_ Another thought occurred and made her scoot a little further away. _How am I supposed to tell Yuna her dad hit on me? A lot?_ “Maybe you could get unintrigued?” she tried weakly. “We might be stuck here for a few days, but we’re gonna get out of this eventually. Let’s not… mess up what we’ve got right now by making things sticky.”

Braska’s expression contorted. “Word choice,” he told her, covering his face with a hand to hide his sudden mirth.

She flushed and bounced to her feet. “I didn’t mean it like that! I meant, uh, tangled!”

His shoulders quaked. “Really, you’re worse than Jecht. You don’t even plan these lapses, do you? It all happens subconsciously?”

“Well, you’re getting me all mixed up!” Rikku yelled, stomping her foot. “Just… stop it! Stop thinking those dirty thoughts!” She paused. “Old man!”

“Now now,” he chided, also standing and brushing himself off. “You shouldn’t be bitter simply because I’m beautiful.”

“Errgh!” she yelled, throwing her arms up into the air. “I should just take my belt and leave you here to rot!”

Braska clasped his arms behind his back. It reminded her a little of Yuna, and her frustration fizzled away.

“You’re right,” he said. “We’ll undoubtedly find a way to free ourselves of this mess and continue with the Pilgrimage.” He glanced around the abandoned temple and the lonely ruins beyond it. “But until then, won’t you allow me to express myself candidly? I promise, I won’t force you into anything. I simply want…” He trailed off, his voice full of longing.

She watched him, unsure. He was being so honest with her, voicing his opinions and feelings with little of his characteristic reservation. And yet the undercurrent she had always sensed in him was still there, uncomfortably raw and exposed. Now, instead of focusing that passion on his own Pilgrimage, Braska’s attention was completely directed towards _her_.

“... I want to be allowed _to want_ again,” he finished. “To hoard this desire for myself, just for one moment in my journey. Can I not be allowed even that much?” He turned to Rikku and tangled his fingers into a loose bit of her hair. “I won’t hurt you. Never that. No matter what you think of me, at least allow me to keep your trust.”

She blinked. His hand dropped away.

“We’re wasting time,” she said uncertainly. “We need to work together to see if there’s anything useful in this temple.” Not waiting for his answer, she sought out the door to the Cloister. He followed after a slight moment of hesitation, and was soon at her side, helping her push open the heavy doors.

When they’d created enough space to squeeze through, she stopped and leaned on her knees. She could feel Braska watching her. “Maybe we should just… you know,” she mumbled, pointing a thumb toward the temple’s depths.

He nodded. “After you,” he said, tracking her with banked intensity.

Rikku turned her back on him, but still heard his soft words as she stepped forward.

“You can run from what is between us for the moment. But you can’t hide indefinitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysh cdyvv= damn staff  
> Rusty gearbuckets! = Al Bhed profanity  
> Myht! = Land!


	40. The Ruin

Rikku grimaced as she squeezed past another damp rock. The hallway may have been comfortable in its original pristine state, but after the temple's collapse, it was little more than twisting, narrow passages clogged by broken stone and destroyed supports.

After a small eternity in the darkness, the path opened into a pitch black chamber. She called a Fire spell to her hand and lifted it above her head. "Wow," she whistled as the guttering flame dimly lit their surroundings. The ornately decorated room continued endlessly upwards, farther than her light could reach. Grotesque wooden sculptures graced the bases of the undamaged pillars; their beady, carved eyes silently judged her for the intrusion. The air was moist and water streamed from multiple cracks in the wall, draining into several sloping paths leading away from the circular room.

"This place is bigger than I thought it'd be," Rikku said. Her words echoed, bouncing off the dark walls. The Baaj ruins were not exactly new territory – after all, she and Brother had rescued Tidus and salvaged the Fahrenheit here, not to mention visiting with Yuna during her Pilgrimage. But by that point, Baaj had been submerged for nearly a decade. The current, freshly-ravaged temple interior was just beginning its ten-year journey to the ocean floor.

"Such a loss," Braska murmured, surveying the ruins. "I visited here once on my way to Bikanel. Though I was unable to fully explore it, the main hall was a masterpiece on its own." He touched one of the nearby pillars. "So fleeting is the work of man."

She sent her Fire spell upward, but it winked out before making contact with anything. "I think we're underwater," she noted thoughtfully. "I really hope these walls are sturdy."

"Yevon built its altars to last," Braska told her. "There seem to be several passages leading from this room." He pointed to one of the drainage paths. "A trial by maze, perhaps?"

Rikku ripped another bow off her sleeve and tied it around the jutting beak of a statue near the entrance. "Hopefully not," she replied. Then, doing her best to ignore the spooky atmosphere, she cracked her knuckles. "We need to sweep this room, then take the passages one by one. This is a Yevonite temple, so maybe there'll be a summoner's staff lying around somewhere."

"We can hope," he agreed. "But we shall need a more stable light source than your flame if we are to have any chance of success."

"Hmm…" She rooted through her supplies for a recording sphere.

"A film, now? Not that the idea does not have merit, but…"

Rikku flipped through the sphere controls; it winked to life with a faint blue glow. "I can modify this," she said, putting it on the ground and digging through her pouch. "I just need to up the power supply with something like… huh, this lightning marble looks pretty good…"

Fingers working quickly, she cracked open the sphere. Careful not to spill the precious water it contained, she minutely adjusted the wiring. Finally, snapping the device together again, she crossed her fingers.

"Here goes nothing!" She hit a button and the sphere buzzed to life, flooding the room with a much stronger blue glow than normal. Smirking, she twirled her tooling knife between her fingers. "I'm too good at this."

"I suppose that will do," Braska said, picking the sphere up. "Is this… recording us right now?" He squinted at it in suspicion.

"It has to. The marble's wired to the central controls directly. I bypassed the main switch because if I put it on the power toggle it'd just blow the whole circuit – "

Braska blinked.

" – I lost you at marble, didn't I?" Rikku finished.

"It provides light. That is more than enough for me to know. Thank you."

"It should work underwater, too," she added, circling the room. "Which we're gonna need. Most of our exits look flooded already."

Frustration passed over Braska's face. "Do not take on the burden of this search alone."

Rikku absently pulled at her goggles, trying to remember the sunken temple she'd explored with Yuna. She couldn't help but smile at the memories – although Yuna and most of her Guardians were weak swimmers, they'd still made it through the submerged passage. Maybe with a little too much clandestine "air sharing" between the couples. Wakka and Lulu had seemed to enjoy themselves nearly as much as Tidus and Yuna; at that point in their journey, though, the latter two had pretty much made out whenever and wherever they wanted to.

 _Huh_. Auron had actually managed pretty well on his own down there, waiving the need for breathing assistance. Of course, as a dead guy, he probably didn't _breathe_ anyway. She hadn't paid much attention at the time, being forced into point guard as Tidus and Wakka ferried the rest of their party through. Auron had proved himself surprisingly competent underwater, to Tidus' relief. _"It was hard enough giving mouth-to-mouth to Kimahri,"_ Tidus had admitted afterwards.

 _Maybe I did – do? – teach Auron how to swim,_ Rikku thought, hope blossoming in her chest. If he could swim when he came here with Yuna's party, it meant he had survived Sin's attack on the Pualu. Then, she mentally slapped herself. _Why am I worried? I already know what happens to everyone here!_ _I know Auron, Braska and Jecht will still complete the Pilgrimage – and eventually die. Right?_

"Rikku?" Braska had planted the light sphere in the center of the room and was now close, staring in concern. She hadn't heard him approaching, too lost in her thoughts. "You've been standing there for a while now. Is something wrong?"

 _Everything,_ she wanted to say. _Everything's wrong, and there's nothing I can do about it. Or is there?_ The question that had haunted her since the beginning came into glaring focus in the cold blue light of the sphere. There was nowhere to hide down here, no distractions to turn away her doubts. _And what about Sin? Can I alter history? Can I really be that selfish?_

Braska's concern was turning into full-blown worry; it did little to ease her unsettled thoughts.

_He's already dead. And I have to let it happen._

"Rikku?" Braska repeated anxiously.

She shook her head, braids flying; Braska retreated a step.

 _Focus, Rikku! Focus! He's not going to die yet. Not here, not now. We need to get out of here, no matter what it takes._ The thought gave her the room to breathe again; it was easier to deal with her immediate problems than wrestle with the destiny-altering ones. _That's right! I brought Braska here. This is my fault, so it's my responsibility to fix it._

He'd asked earlier about helping out, hadn't he? "I think you can come along," she answered him, avoiding his searching gaze and falling easily back into her role as a deep-sea salvager. "Either they'll connect to more rooms like this one or just be dead ends. It shouldn't take too long to explore this place – the temple didn't look _that_ big from the outside. Did you already finish checking out this room?"

He caught her arm as she tried to brush past him. "Stop," he said quietly. "What secret are you hiding that is so terrible you can't share it with me? No one else is here, and I won't continue to ignore your misery simply to spare your pride."

She shook free and glared at Braska. "What about you? _You're_ the one made of butterflies, rainbows, and sharp bits of broken glass."

His expression fell slightly. "Every summoner is broken in one way or another. We wouldn't be who we are otherwise."

"If you won't let me help you, you don't get to help me either," she answered him.

Carefully, Braska pushed her back against a pillar, face solemn. "Why did you stop just now, after I voiced my concern for you? Why do you look as though your world is breaking apart simply because I care?" He dipped his head slightly, his voice lowered. "Are you really so distraught over Auron? Him alone?"

Rikku turned her head away, angry that she couldn't conjure a rational solution to an irrational problem. And to top it all off, Braska's incessant probing was grating on her nerves. Why did he have to force her to have _any_ sort of feelings for him at all? Everything was easier when he was just the distant, fuzzy image of Yuna's dad. "I don't want you to die," she finally said. She fixed her eyes on him, calculating. _Can I change the future? Can I use Braska's feelings to save everyone?_ Silencing the tiny voice screaming in her head, she lifted her chin. "If I'd just kiss you, hold you in my arms, and tell you all the lies you want to hear, would you stop your Pilgrimage?"

Braska tilted his head. "Only if they _weren't_ lies."

As she opened her mouth to reply, he closed the distance between them. Hungry lips pressed against her own. She squeaked in surprise – he swallowed the sound eagerly.

_Wait, this wasn't what I –_

"I will find your truth," he mouthed before diving back into the wild kiss. Unlike Auron, Braska didn't hesitate. His tongue, searing and desperate, plied insistently against her lips until they parted again. He seized her face, then dragged his hands downwards to outline her collarbones. Nothing was sacred to his questing fingers; they trailed over the fabric of her skimpy top and then along the line of her ribs, his thumbs lingering briefly against the outer curves of her breasts.

His urgent kisses chased her, ferociously waking the hunger that Auron had slowly built in her and offering an easy path to release. She found herself responding, leaning into the caress despite her surprise.

"You are Al Bhed, through and through," Braska murmured against her cheek as he broke away, his breath short and heavy.

Coming from anyone else, that might have been an insult. But he _knew_. He'd married into her people. He understood how the Al Bhed were taught to approach their sexuality – openly, with honesty, as a basic part of their nature. _Life is short, take what you will while you can._

Braska attached his mouth to the juncture of her neck, suckling the flesh there. His fingers brushed a path over her belly and hooked into the low waist of her skirt, pulling her flush against him. He pushed a small curative spell into her skin – the low whisper of his voice against her neck and the spark of magic felt like being electrocuted underwater. But it wasn't _pain_ that tickled her nerve endings this time.

"You're more Al Bhed than I am," she mumbled, seeing stars when he rolled his hips against her. It was the hottest kiss she'd ever shared with anyone in her life. It was a kiss with _Yuna's dad._ It was _her_ dry-humping _someone who wasn't Auron._

Rikku tore away from Braska and covered her mouth, pressing her thighs together.

The memory of Auron's words came back to haunt her now. _Haven't you wondered what it must be like for two people to give of themselves so completely? It's an act that can consume a man and commit him to a path of self-destruction._

Her fingers trembled against her swollen lips. _No! Not with Braska! It's not supposed to be like this – not with Braska!_

Braska sank against the pillar he'd trapped her against, cushioning his forehead with his arm. The fingers of his free hand curled as though he was still touching her, trembling. One eye met hers, dark and hungry. "I _want,_ " he said, voice rough.

"I _can't_ ," Rikku shot back, her hands still covering her mouth. "This is so wrong! Really, cosmically _wrong!_ "

"Your body disagrees," he observed, his eyes unabashedly roving across her. Then he paused and laughed. "Cosmic? You need to call upon the heavens to describe our experience?" His eyes sparkled with delight as he grinned at her. "Does this mean I was very good, or very bad?"

"This isn't a joke!" Rikku spat out. "Why'd you kiss me?"

"Why didn't you simply cast me aside?" Braska asked, sobering. "You're stronger than I am in every way, except in this desire we share. You felt something as well, don't deny that."

She closed her eyes and gripped her hair, using the pain to chase away the aftereffects of their impromptu makeout session. "It felt good. _Very_ good," she admitted. "But still wrong! This isn't about sex!" _Probably really, really good sex,_ her traitorous mind supplied.

Braska straightened with a small smile of triumph.

She looked at him askance. "I just rejected you again. Why are you so happy?"

"If you were to kiss me, hold me in your arms, and whisper things I wish to hear, then they mustn't be lies." He gave her a wry smile. "Now I know you _do_ feel something beyond desire. Thank you for that much."

 _That didn't go according to plan,_ Rikku thought, struggling to formulate a response.

He laughed at her look, dropping his head back to the pillar. "I promised I wouldn't force you," he muttered. "But I believe I'll need some time before we can continue our search. You may wait outside, at the entrance."

"Why?" She frowned. "What are you planning?"

He smiled, but the heat in his eyes didn't abate. "Would you like to remain and find out? Your presence could be of great assistance."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, feeling herself turn so red she probably looked purple in the light of the sphere. "I think I'll pass, yeah," she said, voice soaring into previously-unknown octaves. She scooted towards the exit, short of outright fleeing. "Just come for me when you're done." She paused, then felt her blush quadruplify. _Wait a sec_. "Uh! Uh, I meant – !"

Braska was laughing at her again.

 _Alright, Baaj can sink right now and take me down with it,_ she thought furiously, her cheeks burning. She dashed away, leaving him to take care of his pressing business. _Ugh, enough with the puns!_ Rikku slapped her cheeks and picked up her pace towards the ruined corridor. She paused, then giggled madly.

_We forgot about the recording sphere in there. Oopsie?_

**.x.x.x.**

The atmosphere was stilted, to say the least. Braska appeared to be slightly more relaxed – _no wonder,_ Rikku couldn't stop herself from thinking – while she felt too tightly wound.

At the moment, he was using the lit sphere to inspect the wall, kicking aside rubble as he searched for something useful. She'd ignited another Fire spell, preferring to hold the flame rather than sharing the sphere light and getting close to him.

When he finally finished his search and approached her, she startled and her tiny flame erupted into a roar that nearly singed a few locks of her hair. Braska gave her a knowing, amused look; she clenched her hand and ended the spell.

"I didn't find anything," she told him.

"I was also unsuccessful," he admitted. "I fear we're going to have to brave one of the underwater passages. Do you have any thoughts?"

Rikku was of the personal opinion that she had more thoughts than she could contain, but she tried to narrow them down to the temple's layout. "I poked around a little outside while you were… uh…"

"Otherwise engaged," Braska supplied with a charming smile. "What did you find?"

She glared. "Well, in all the other temples I've seen, the antechambers usually have at least two storage and supply rooms for the priests and nuns to use. I bet if we stuck to our immediate left or right, we might find something."

"Hmm." Braska rubbed his chin. "In my recollection, Baaj was designed a bit differently. The entire temple was restructured after the loss of the Fayth. It was said there was quite a library maintained here," he added with a note of pained regret.

"Waterlogged books aren't gonna help you summon anything," she reminded him.

He nodded. "We have very little to go on. I suppose we should just work our way around the room from one side to the other."

 _Finally!_ She grabbed onto the sense of purpose like a lifeline. "Great!"

"That's our first candidate, then," he told her, pointing.

"'Our'?" she repeated in disbelief. "What _'our'_? You can barely swim!"

Braska stepped closer. "I'm not leaving you to explore this temple alone." He raised his hand to silence her protest. "No, hear me out, please. I know you're more than competent on your own, but I, too, want to feel useful. Let me at least hold the light sphere so your hands will be free."

Biting her lip, Rikku weighed her options. Braska would severely limit her time underwater, but he was already showing signs of cracking under pressure; maybe giving him the chance to help out would take his mind off of things. Like _her_.

Pushing aside her misgivings, she nodded. "Fine, let's do it!" She groaned and tugged at her hair. "No, I mean – !"

Braska shook his head in disbelief. "Ladies first," he offered, gesturing towards the sunken passage.

She donned her goggles and waded into the water. Braska followed, the light from the sphere reflecting off of the walls.

Mentally counting the seconds, Rikku dove and followed the snaking passage until she saw a glint of natural light. A wall had collapsed, allowing sunlight to filter in from the open sea above. Her guard went up as she cautiously stuck her head out and glanced around. Access to the temple's exterior would only mean one thing: fiends were sure to be lurking around _somewhere._

She glanced back at Braska, who seemed to be thinking the same thing. He frowned, shook his head, and motioned for her to keep exploring.

 _Not giving up? Fine._ Continuing her countdown, she beckoned him onward. They returned to the darkened passage, following it until another collapsed wall made the rest of the route impassable. Pursing her lips, Rikku twirled her finger and turned around.

Rather than following her instructions, Braska paddled awkwardly past her. She soon saw why – a small school of piranhas trailed him. They'd likely sighted her through the crack in the outer wall and followed them.

 _One… five… seven. Not too bad,_ she thought, wasting no time in charging the closest ones. They broke off into two clusters, but she managed to clip one, splitting it easily into pyreflies. A webbed cocoon of light formed around her as she sought out another target; she shot Braska a disbelieving glance.

 _Protect? Really? What is he thinking?_ Not that she didn't appreciate the sentiment – especially as one of the piranha's sharp teeth glanced off of her arm rather than nicking it. But spellcasting meant speaking, and as she well knew, casting underwater sacrificed precious air. Revising her countdown, she swam after the remaining fiends, opting for speed over finesse as she popped them like soap bubbles. She didn't stop when the last fiend fell to her graceless swipe, instead surging towards Braska and grabbing his arm. Using the wall as a springboard, she dragged him through the water, wincing as they hit the sides of the tunnel during her rushed escape.

 _Probably not gonna make it back to where we started._ She pushed them straight out through the cracked wall and towards the surface. As expected, Braska was already beginning to falter, his expression growing strained. Rikku plucked the light sphere out of his hands and pocketed it, not willing to sacrifice what little supplies they had if Braska lost control of his body.

_A little drowning won't kill him, right?_

He gasped, expelling bubbles.

_Damn it._

She stopped swimming and pulled Braska around. Once again she squeezed his nose shut – this time pinching as hard as possible – then pressed her mouth to his and pushed air into his lungs.

He hugged her when she tried to pull her head back, though he didn't transform the maneuver into what she had feared – another kiss. Still, she released him with an acute sense of discomfort, intensely aware of how he'd managed to imbue what should have been a clinical move into something with more meaning.

She pushed away with a wounded look and then continued to the surface on her own, not waiting to see if he followed. _He can make do with the air he's got now_.

"Rikku," Braska gasped when he surfaced beside her.

She slapped water at him, wishing it was an extension of her hand. "Why'd you cast that spell? You can't even swim that well!"

"I wanted to help you," he said quietly.

"You're not helping!" she yelled, pulling off her goggles in frustration. "You're driving me out of my mind! All this… _touching_ , and _looking_ , and … you know, _doing stuff!_ "

"Perhaps we should exit the water before we discuss this further?" He gestured towards the temple.

"No!" Rikku wailed, hitting the water again. "You're just gonna look some more with those laser eyes and make me all clumsy and self-conscious again!"

"Why would you feel that way?" Braska swam closer, ignoring her tantrum. "You're a beautiful woman. The grace of your body is surpassed only by the sharpness of your mind. There's nothing for you to feel self-conscious about."

She boggled at him, even as she tried not to blush. "Nothing? What about that whole disasterrific kiss?"

"Disas _terrific_?" Braska repeated with a small grin.

"Ugh!" she said, slapping the water one more time. "I can't even talk to you – "

The water slapped back.

"Uh oh," she mumbled as the ridged back of a large fiend surfaced near them. _Maybe Braska was right about this whole land thing._

"That does not look like a piranha," Braska noted as he valiantly dog paddled away from it.

"Don't look! Swim! Swim!" she shrieked, recognizing the danger as the fiend's back swirled above the surface in a lazy arc towards them.

She grabbed Braska by the back of his shirt and pulled as she sped towards a segment of the temple wall low enough for them to climb over. "Up, up, up!" she shouted, then dove under his feet and pushed with her shoulders to give him a boost.

"What are you do- _aah_!" Braska yelped. She heard him land with a painful-sounding crunch on the other side and shrugged. _He's a white mage, he can deal._

Then she looked back and shrieked, this time flinging herself at the stone and scrabbling up it like a crazed monkey. She crested the top, panting, and glanced back down into the water.

The fiend's ridges extended into spikes, which shivered before slowly dipping back below the water's surface as silently as they had arrived. "That thing's still around?" she muttered, watching the Geosgaeno's shadow retreat into the depths. _Well, now I guess we know why there aren't any other big fiends here._

She clambered down into the interior of the temple much more cautiously and looked over Braska. His hands were cupped over his nose, the telltale glow of healing magic fading. "Sorry about your face," she told him sheepishly. "I think we're in trouble though."

"What was that thing, to send you into such a panic?" he asked, wiping blood off his chin. "You've been more than competent with your Celestial Weapon alone thus far."

She shuddered. "It's an old frenemy. I was its lunch once until my friends busted me out of its stomach. Not doing that again any time soon!" She swore. "And it means trying to build a raft and sailing out of here is out of the question. That thing is big enough to swallow us whole if we tried."

Braska slumped. "I can't stand being this powerless!"

She jumped, surprised at the rancor in his voice. "Not powerless. You've got my belt," she reminded him.

"Which I can't use in water!" he shouted.

She flinched.

He dropped his head to his knees. "I can't summon. I can't have you. I can't even fight to _protect_ you. Failure after failure. And to think, I aspire to defeat Sin."

Rikku fidgeted uncomfortably. "Hey, look. It's not as bad as you think. We haven't finished exploring the temple yet. We might still find something useful!"

" _You_ might find something," Braska corrected her wearily. "I'll only be a liability, as I've already proven. I truly am less than nothing here."

He was bent in defeat, and she was reminded of how he'd acted after their battle with the sinspawn near Mushroom Rock. "You're not weak. Strength isn't always about who can fight the best, you know."

Braska didn't answer, climbing to his feet and pacing. "We need to continue the search. I must find something… _anything_ that will allow me to summon."

"I don't think so!" she replied. "Sorry, but you're a wreck. You won't do any good diving the way you are right now."

He spun towards her, hands clenched. "Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"I'm still trying to do what I started on the ship – keep you alive!"

She spotted the raised ridges of the Geosgaeno, circling around the temple.

Shaking herself, she tried to focus. "We need to go inside," she added in a much lower undertone. "I'm not sure if that fiend can travel outside of the water, but we really don't wanna find out."

The return to the central chamber of the Cloister was tense and silent. The afternoon was still young, but Rikku felt as drained as though they'd been shipwrecked all over again. Her nerves were completely raw, and Braska didn't seem to be doing much better. She drew out their light sphere and made a quick decision.

"No more exploring today," she ordered. "We need to rest and regroup. And we need a fire or this sphere is gonna burn out."

"Agreed," Braska said, looking exhausted.

They busied themselves making camp. In an effort to avoid Braska, Rikku threw herself into the minute details of her tasks – clearing the floor, forming a ring to create a firepit, and snapping one of the drier wooden sculptures into kindling. Braska seemed to be doing the same; both ignored the unspoken tension in the room, but soon there was nothing left to do but watch the fire – or each other.

Rikku picked at a fingernail, then gathered her courage. "Listen," she began uncertainly. "I'm not sure why you're feeling like a big pile of useless right now, but that feeling's not gonna stop unless you try to change it yourself. You can't… _kiss_ it away."

Resting his chin in his palm, Braska wilted. "You already made it quite clear that I am being too forward in my affections towards you."

She clenched her hand reflexively, then released it. "That's not what I meant! You've got bigger problems than me." Not that the pink shoopuf in the room wasn't weighing heavily on her mind, but they needed to deal with surviving Baaj first. "Actually, _we've_ got bigger problems, because if you don't get your self-confidence back, _we_ won't make it off this island."

" _You_ would manage it somehow," he told her. "You're very resourceful. I admire that about you; you look into the face of hopeless odds and never give up."

She sighed. "If you thought that about yourself, you'd be able to summon anything, anywhere. Where's all that unflappable calm you usually have stored up?"

"I must have lost it alongside my robes and staff." He shrugged. "I was careless enough to allow the symbols of my duty to be destroyed. Without my trappings, I have nothing left to hide my true nature."

"You don't need to wear robes to be a priest," she replied. "Why don't you work on your summoning problem while I do all the exploring tomorrow? I promise, I won't take any risks."

"I can't bear the thought of you dying for my sake. I lost Raenn in this way – she wanted to heal the rift between Cid and myself. She wanted me to be a part of the Al Bhed."

Rikku straightened and planted her fists on her hips. "I can't help looking like her. But you're mixing us up in your head, and it's hurting your focus."

He stared at her, his brow furrowing. "Is that what you think?" he finally said. "That I kissed you in the hopes of resurrecting my dead wife and slaking my thirst for intimacy?"

"Well… yeah?" she said. "That's what you've been doing all along. Don't worry, I'm not taking it personally." That was a lie, but Braska didn't need to hear _that_ truth. "I know how hard it is, losing someone you loved like that."

"I'm not the only one who undervalues myself, then." He stood and walked around the fire to sit next to her, holding a hand up as she tensed. "Peace," he soothed. "I won't touch you."

"Alright. But sit over there," she said, pointing an arm's length away from her position.

"I won't deny that you first caught my eye because of your appearance," Braska told her as he settled on the floor. "Even knowing you're Raenn's younger sister, the resemblance is still uncanny. But it's been many weeks that we've travelled together now. You're more than a haunted shadow to me. It's your fumbling attempts at love that made me notice you as your own woman. Perhaps it's my jealousy of that youthful hope I see in you, burning brightly enough to ignite an answering passion even in Auron's soul."

He stared into the fire. "I understand if you wish to reject me because of your commitment to him. You don't want to betray Auron." He grimaced. " _I_ didn't want to betray him either. He's my dearest friend."

Braska returned his gaze to her. "But don't think for a minute that it isn't you I wished to kiss then. It has always been _you_ , and no other." His hand twitched. "My lack of control shames me. But I thirst for you. And here, without any power, it's all I have left of myself." He dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry to burden you – yet again – with another facet of my weakness."

She kept her silence, though her heart squeezed at his admission. Unable to help herself, she reached out, her hand hovering over Braska's shoulder. His eyes snapped to her fingertips, filling with the same dangerous darkness that had led to all the trouble in the first place.

Abandoning the idea of touch, Rikku let her hand fall, placing her fingers next to his knee instead. Even without contact, she imagined she could feel an invisible spark of energy jumping between them. "I can't replace him with you," she said finally. "I don't think my heart works like that. There's only room for one of you to live there."

Braska stared at the stone floor between them. "Could you let me rent that space for now?"

"You'd damage the property if I did," she joked. She looked up at Braska's sudden noise of dismay.

"No," he said firmly. "I would not defile something so sacred. You are my temple here. You are my Fayth. I wish to worship you."

 _Stupid words_. Rikku shivered. _It's like he's reciting a spell._

"Please. Let me love you," he whispered.

 _Or a prayer_.

"You don't even know what you're saying. Go to sleep," she told him. "It's just the stress of being trapped here talking, right? Maybe we'll find an escape tomorrow."

Braska stretched out as though she'd given him a command, folding his arms over his stomach and staring up into the ceiling. The firelight flickered unevenly over his face, hiding his expression in its shadows. "Ever only as you wish."

Rikku settled down beside him, his last words reverberating around her head and chasing away any illusion of rest until long after the fire had died down.

**.x.x.x.**

The next morning – at least Rikku guessed it was morning, though her rest was fitful and the chamber still dark as ever – she tried to sneak away and continue her exploration of the Cloister unaided.

Unfortunately, Braska was already up and awake, foiling her plan to leave unnoticed. He appeared to be meditating, though his eyes opened and tracked her when she sat up.

"I have decided to spend the day focusing on my summoning technique as you requested," he said. "If it is a matter of will, then I must try my best to sharpen it. I will not stop you from exploring the rest of the temple without me."

She nodded slowly, tried not to feel guilty, and rose to her feet. He was doing exactly what she'd asked, yet seeing him bend to her will so easily made her feel terrible. _Auron would have fought me on this if he didn't like what I said._

But, the entire problem was that Braska _wasn't_ Auron.

"Rikku," Braska began. She tensed. "Will you allow me to say a morning prayer before you leave?"

"A what?" she asked, all at once relieved and even a little disappointed. "You wanna bless me? For what, luck? Just use the dressphere instead, that actually _works_."

Braska stood up and approached her. "You misunderstand."

Confusion transformed into jangling nerves when he stopped in front of her. He pressed too close for a simple exchange of words and turned his face against the fall of her wild hair.

"I wish to receive your blessing." Braska shivered. "May I?"

Her breath caught, and she dropped her eyes in shame. He wasn't even touching her, but she felt an excited tremor run through her. She forced herself to meet his gaze.

 _Let me have this,_ his eyes seemed to plead.

She welded her mouth stubbornly shut.

"Rikku," he repeated, and the unbearable note of sadness and longing laced through his voice led her to nod, acquiescing to his request. _Just this once_ , she told herself.

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, the kiss as light as air. It was only a single, brief moment of contact, and then he pulled back. "Be careful," he said, turning away.

Rikku swayed, disoriented, and realized she was teetering on the edge of a dangerous chasm. "Um," she managed. "So… I'll be going down that one." She pointed at the next flooded passage. "I promise I'll be back soon. Happy focusing?" Wincing, she was grateful he didn't bother to reply to her awkward farewell; the slight smile on his face was enough to haunt her all the way through the rest of her exploration.

**.x.x.x.**

The morning yielded only disappointment after disappointment. Of the six submerged passages in the room, two were dead ends. One was impassable only a few meters down, one led to the submerged rubble of the library Braska had mentioned, and one was the path they'd explored the day before.

She knew exactly where the last untouched passage led – their final hope for assistance and a trip down memory lane with only Anima to guide her. Even if Seymour hadn't transplanted his mother into the temple yet, she still wasn't eager to see the Chamber of the Fayth.

Figuring that procrastination was the better part of valor, she decided to first return to the open ruins above to catch their next meal.

"Fish is getting old really fast here," Rikku complained to Braska. They had chosen to eat in the open-aired entrance, awash with the brightness of the midday sun. Even though the lack of a breeze made the heat stifling at times, it was a much-needed break from the oppressive darkness of the Cloister. Both of them were frustrated by their parallel lack of success.

"Beggars cannot be choosers," Braska lectured, then ducked away from her annoyed swat. "But yes, I agree. I never thought I would look back fondly upon the food we were fed in Luca's stadium and yearn for it." Finishing his meal, he moved to the water's edge to rinse his hands clean.

"There's only one place left to look, you know," she said apprehensively as she joined him. "I didn't really think it would be this hard to get out of here. It's already our second day."

"Amazing how much can transpire in that short of a time. Before we were wrecked I was sampling the gourmet cuisine available to the patrons of the Glitzball," Braska agreed regretfully. "It is a bit of an adjustment."

She snorted, drying her hands on her skirt. "What, you mean to say I haven't been an accommodating hostess so far?" She made a sweeping gesture at the ruins behind them and pitched her voice cheerfully. "Hotelier Rikku at your service, presenting the finest to be had at the Baaj Vacation Resort. Our offerings today? Carp! For breakfast, lunch, _and_ dinner! It's a cleansing diet for only the most discerning of palates."

"You forgot to add it comes in two varieties," Braska replied. "Raw, or blackened beyond recognition."

"Don't criticize the head chef unless you want her to spit in your food," she warned him, before bursting into giggles.

He grinned back at her, easing some of the strain that had dogged them through the night. When the humor died out, he gave her one of his small, secretive smiles. "May I thank you for your services rendered thus far, my dear hostess?"

Rikku's smile waned. "You wanna say another prayer?"

The smile dropped from his face as well. "Only if you will allow it."

She stood and retreated, troubled that she let herself be caught up once again in his desires. It was just too easy to allow Braska's natural charm to disarm her, even as her more rational mind protested.

 _Did you really expect anything else?_ it asked her.

 _Just one more time,_ her heart whispered in reply, _to ease his pain._

She heard Braska's approach behind her and turned around. He studied her face, as if searching for permission, and then dropped to his knees before her when he found it. She held her breath, wondering what form his prayer would take this time. Her curiosity was answered as his hands snaked around her waist, tracing over the swell of her hips. He pressed his mouth to her belly, planting a soft kiss just below her navel.

She flinched, lightning racing all the way down to her toes at the contact. Then his tongue flicked out and moistened her skin, and the lightning raced back up to pool – uncomfortable and warm – between her legs. She gasped.

Braska dropped his hands from her sides and traced feather-light patterns across the back of her thighs with his fingers. He continued to spread the same soft, wet kisses across the entire expanse of her abdomen, mapping one hip to the other.

Only when her knees started to buckle did he pull away, his blue eyes darker than a stormy ocean. "I should return to my meditations here," he murmured when he'd recovered enough to speak.

She started out of her stupor. "But the Geosgaeno! That thing we met yesterday is still out here!"

"I will take my chances," he told her.

She frowned. "It's not safe!"

" _You_ would not be safe if I returned with you now." He relented at her stricken expression. "I will position myself near the entrance and leave at the first sign of trouble. I promise you this." He managed a weak smile towards her that dropped away quickly into true concern. "Please take care of yourself."

Cowed, Rikku gave him a quick nod and accepted her chance for retreat. As she crawled through the passage, she railed against herself. _Why did I let him do that? Why did it feel so good? If he wants me so badly, why doesn't he take advantage whenever he turns me into a smooshy gelatin cube?_

The last question bothered her the most, reminding her of Auron's hot and cold behavior. Of course, Auron told her he acted that way because he didn't know _how_ to love her, but it couldn't be the same for Braska, right?

Stepping into the now-very-familiar circular chamber, Rikku settled near the remains of their camp and ignored the last passage that beckoned ominously. Instead, she drew out the light sphere and cradled it.

 _Should I? Or shouldn't I?_ She rotated it, thinking of Braska. Her finger hovered over the playback button, but she hesitated. There was, of course, her natural voyeuristic tendencies that would be delighted to know what exactly had been trapped on the sphere. But eclipsing that was the question now thundering through her head.

 _Love? Is that what he's fighting, not desire?_ She thought about Braska's morning and afternoon "prayers" – increasing in intensity each time. Surely he would request one that evening as well. Knowing exactly how _that_ could end, her decision was made. "I have to know," she whispered, pressing the button.

The sphere winked and crackled, the playback slightly distorted due to her modifications to the controls. Then she saw Braska's face, squinting in suspicion.

 _"_ _Is this… recording us right now?"_

"Well, I guess it still worked," she muttered, watching their first entrance to the Cloister play out before her. By the time things had progressed to the _More-Than-Just-A-Kiss_ , neither she nor Braska were visible in the sphere's recording field. Still, she didn't need a visual aid; every sound they made was burned into her as a tactile memory. She watched herself race across the screen, face flushed in embarrassment, and heard Braska's laugh chasing her.

Then, the noise of more movement. A rustle of cloth, and was that Braska's quickening breath? It was hard to tell through the occasional crackles and pops contaminating the recording. She clearly heard his breath hitch as he called out her name in a strained gasp. Rikku covered her mouth, her face reddening.

 _Her_ name. Not Raenn's.

Suddenly ashamed of her violation of Braska's privacy, she tried to shut the sphere off. Before she could adjust the controls, she heard a short laugh from the recording.

Braska's feet came into view. The video showing him shook a little as he picked up the sphere. " _I wonder,_ " he mused. " _Will you watch this? No more secrets between us, then?_ " The sphere shook again as he settled against a pillar, and then she was treated to another view of Braska's feet as he languidly stretched his legs in front of the camera.

" _I thought this would be simple,_ " he admitted conversationally. " _I'd say my goodbyes to Yuna, set off to avenge Raenn, and have Auron by my side to ensure the success of my journey. Then you and Jecht appeared, and I couldn't leave either of you behind. Two more outcasts to add to our company of misfits. And things descended into utter chaos._ "

There was a moment of silence, punctuated by the crackling of the recording, and then Braska's voice picked up again, warmer than before. " _I've been enjoying this chaos more than I realized. Somewhere along the way, the three of you picked me up and forced me to remember that there was more to my life than anger and despair. Oh yes,_ " he admitted wryly, his tone cooling, " _I know that I'm a cruel and weak man. A good man, Auron would say, a kind one, Jecht might agree. I wonder if you've seen reality? Or have I fooled you as well?_ "

Rikku held the sphere carefully, frowning. She heard the truth in his voice, and knew it was the real source of his summoning problems. Loathing dripped from every word, despite his light tone.

The image jolted as Braska shifted. " _I know I abandoned Yuna. I also know it was wrong. To lose her mother to Sin, and then also her father… I've stolen my daughter's happiness for my own selfish whims. But I couldn't put my love for her above my own hatred. To think, Jecht is a better father than I. He weeps for his son still, yet my tears dried long ago. My heart closed when Raenn left, even to my own child._ "

He let out a soft sigh. " _I wonder, now, if I betray my wife by opening it again. The memory which first drove me down this path grows softer and less jagged with every step I take. She would be so angry with me for walking it at all – like all Al Bhed, she hated the Final Summoning. But all I'm capable of is wounding the ones I care most about._ "

The image jumped again. " _I never intended to hurt you or Auron. But watching you fumble towards one another woke something in me I'd forgotten I needed – hope. And eventually, also love. I realized that, in Luca. That I couldn't defeat Sin without those things in my heart, that it would take more than my hatred to save Spira. Even Auron noticed how I had changed._ "

A soft laugh was heard from the recording. " _He would follow me to the ends of the earth, so loyal he is. I couldn't ask for a truer friend. Auron would willingly allow me to lead him to his ruin. I've never met a better soldier than him, yet he has the heart of an innocent child, easily consumed by extremes of both joy and pain. I love him, in my own way, just as much as I love you._ "

The recorded image tilted; Braska placed the sphere on the ground by his side. " _But I've told you already. I'm a weak and cruel man. I put Raenn before Yuna, and now I've placed you before Auron. I suppose I can't learn from my mistakes after all. I know this will end in tears and madness, and yet I reach for it all the same._ _Would Auron forgive me, I wonder? Will Yuna?_ "

The sphere winked out briefly; Braska had chosen to shut it down. Though the recording buzzed back into life quickly, there was no way to tell how much time had passed for him.

" _I know this will have to end._ " Braska's voice again, stripped of its usual calm undertones. Anguish colored his every word. " _Baaj is nothing but an illusion of my own making. The world could forget our existence and continue on without us. Allow someone else to defeat Sin! We can remain here forever, trapped, as you help me rediscover how it feels to love and be loved in return._ "

The image shifted as he exhaled sharply.

" _But I'm running from my duty. This is all merely a fevered dream which I'm forcing you to endure. I must find a way to end it. Thank you, for tolerating it. For tolerating me. I only hope that one day you and Auron will find the happiness which I no longer have, or deserve._ "

The recording skipped again, and when it restarted, Rikku recognized the antechamber they had explored together the previous day. She shut the sphere down and let the darkness surround her. Braska's voice echoed in her mind, chasing her whirling thoughts. This was his focus? This was what gave him the strength to summon, the hope that he could run away from himself by dying for Spira? He was right, in some way; the Braska she knew now wouldn't be able to defeat Sin; he couldn't even face himself.

"Rikku?" Startled, she opened her eyes and squinted against the unexpected light.

_When did I fall asleep?_

Braska had apparently managed to master her grid enough to control the flame he now cupped in one hand. "You took so long to return, I grew concerned."

Noting the stiffness in her neck, she shifted uncomfortably. "I guess I lost track of time."

"Did you find anything?" he asked with a hint of hope. It fled from his face when she shook her head, and he slumped to the floor beside her, extinguishing his flame. "I apologize for bringing you into this mess," he murmured into the darkness.

"Don't… say you're sorry anymore, okay?"

Something in her voice made him relight the spell in his hand and look at her more closely. He leaned towards her, his brow furrowed. "What happened to you?" Reaching out with his free hand, he touched her cheek, and his frown deepened. "Why are you crying?"

"Huh?" Rikku scrubbed at her face, surprised when her fingers came away wet. "Oh, this? I just… I dunno," she trailed off, dropping her hand. It hit the sphere she'd forgotten about, sending it clattering across the floor.

Braska watched it spin to a stop, then looked at her, his voice careful. "Did you explore the passage at all?" When she shook her head, he gave her a resigned look. "How much did you see?"

"All of it."

The flame winked out once more, and he sat back with a thump. "I was careless," he admonished, anger licking the words.

She grabbed his hand in the dark, squeezing it. "Why do you hate yourself so much?"

"You've seen why," Braska answered bitterly. He tugged away from her, but she only tightened her grip in response.

"You're the one lying to yourself, you lying liar." She squeezed his hand again, holding him still. "I know you really care. I've seen you with Yuna, and Auron, and even Jecht. You're not just going through the motions and pretending to have a heart. I know you really mean it." She faced him, even though he was only a shadow in the darkness. "You wouldn't rip yourself to shreds hurting like that if it was all pretend."

"Why do you believe in me? Even now, after I've done nothing but torment you since we left Luca? Don't patronize me." His voice grew sharp. "Or, do you wish me to succumb to my own lust, and ruin you in the process?"

"I know it's not lust," she said. "I saw everything on that sphere. I don't just _tolerate_ you." Pausing, she took a deep breath, allowing herself to admit her confused feelings out loud. "You made me love you too, you know. Just a little."

She felt him still, and her heart ached in the recognition that he'd permanently changed its shape. It was hard to continue speaking through the thick emotion that settled between them.

"You _do_ deserve happiness. If I could, I'd give it to you." _But I can't_ , she didn't say, though it was clear he understood her. It didn't matter how charming he acted or how forward his overtures were – in the end, she wanted to be with _Auron_. Besides, Braska was still _Yunie's dad_. She covered his hand with both of her own. "I'm sorry."

"You're still stronger than I," he said, his voice resigned. "Will you allow me one last prayer?"

She leaned forward and kissed him first. He wrapped his arms around her like she was a lifeline to his sanity, responding with a joy and passion that ignited her senses and filled her with a sharp pang of regret – whispers of _what could have been_ just beyond her grasp. When his embrace grew more heated, she broke it off, resting her head against his, their breaths mingling in unsteady gasps.

"Thank you for letting me recognize love one last time," he whispered against her skin. Then she felt him smile. "It's _your_ loss too, you realize. I've been told I'm an excellent lover." He murmured something unintelligible and Rikku nearly fell over backwards when another Cure spell rushed into her, this time fully powered.

"Unn… not fair," she mumbled, slumping into a boneless heap against him.

"It's never going to be," Braska agreed. "Such is life in Spira."


	41. The Fayth's Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader Djpunupipi created some beautiful fanart for this fanfic! You can view it under the fiction titled "[Memento Vivere Artwork](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8574022/chapters/19657999)" in the "Memento Vivere" series. Also, another huge thanks to Ciesste, my lovely beta who helped pull this and many other chapters together.

"I will go with you."

Rikku paused, her goggles halfway up her face. "Huh? Why now?" It was more curiosity than any desire to stop Braska that made her ask. He'd be able to manage the short distance to the Chamber of the Fayth even with his mediocre underwater abilities.

"This may be our last chance to find anything," he said. "I'd rather face whatever lies beyond together."

"Don't say it like that. Even if there's nothing there, you'd eventually be able to summon if you kept trying."

Braska activated the light sphere and gave her a level stare.

"Ok, or maybe we'll find something," she sighed in exasperation. "Stay close – and no casting unless you can breathe!" Turning, she waded into the water of the final, unexplored passage.

The swim was brief; rather than winding through the ocean's depths, the path ended at a small chamber above the water. It contained nothing more than breathable air, crumbled stone, and two ugly statues guarding a plain double door.

Braska shut down the light sphere and handed it to her. Water dripped from his sodden clothing as he stared at the door. "Rikku… why are those torches lit?"

 _This is totally not possible._ _ **Un**_ _possible._ "Spontaneous combustion?" she tried. She did the math and came to a conclusion that made her want to swim right back out of the passage, summoner's staves be damned.

_Seymour's probably around my age right now. He's a summoner. And he's already been here._

"Well! This place is kinda creepy, and I bet we're not gonna find anything anyway, so let's just go back right now and – "

Braska was already struggling to push the door open. "What are you hesitating for? This is magnificent! Somehow, magic has remained, despite the temple's destruction! It may be the key to our escape." He pushed again, grunting, and the door creaked open.

He strode through and she followed, unwilling. Immediately, they stopped, taking in the well-kept room lit by flickering torchlight. Unlike the rest of the ruined temple, the space looked recently refurbished. Six statues lined the edges of a wide red carpet. The pulse of a magic rune sealed an unmistakable doorway against the back wall.

"There's a Fayth here," Braska breathed in awe. "I can feel it."

Rikku couldn't feel anything other than the heavy, oppressive presence of despair. Still, she didn't need to see the expression on his face to know he was right. The malevolent pink light of the destruction spheres she and Auron had so carefully hidden from Braska decorated the room in glowing lines along the floor and walls.

As she watched, three of the guardian sculptures bloomed into life with that same sickly light; glowing symbols of Bahamut, Shiva, and Ixion decorated them respectively. The others lay dormant, aeons yet undiscovered by Braska.

"I don't think we should be here," she whispered, tugging his arm.

He ignored her, studying the lit statues, then the darkened ones. "Kilika, Besaid, and Zanarkand," he concluded, excited. "They must be the final keys to unlocking this puzzle."

"You're right!" Hope kindled. "Guess we're stuck without visiting the rest of the temples first, huh? Let's go back!"

Braska walked further into the room. She groaned in frustration, running after him and toward the gigantic, floating rune which blocked their path to the Chamber of the Fayth.

"Dead end," she supplied.

His expression hardened as he stared up at the rune. "I won't be denied. Not now. Not after all of this." He raised his hand and began to chant; power gathered around him. He directed the Dispel into the center of the rune. Rikku screamed and covered her eyes as the chamber shook; the magic wavered – but held.

She peeked out from under her hands. "I don't think it wor – "

"We're close." Braska cast again and again, growing angrier with each attempt. "I won't be refused!"

Under the onslaught, the rune was visibly weakening, struggling to reform itself even as each spell came through stronger and faster than the last. Finally, with the sound of glass shattering, the rune broke into multiple swirls of light and the three activated sculptures also faded into darkness.

Panting with exhaustion, Braska lowered his arms.

 _Seymour's totally gonna kill us for breaking his spell_. She imagined him bursting through the doors behind them, a vision of spiked blue hair and murderous insanity. On the plus side, he'd bring a summoning staff with him, right? Cringing, she waited for the Trial's retaliation to Braska's attempt at cheating; however, nothing but a slow drip of water marked the destruction of the barrier. Rikku turned away from her _day_ mare to address Braska, only to see his back disappearing into the Chamber.

She yelped. "Hey! Wait up!" Diving after him, she narrowly avoided the stone petals of the closing door. Then she spun to look at the now-sealed entrance behind her.

_I'm actually inside the Chamber of the Fayth! Nothing stopped me this time!_

She wiggled her fingers. No seizures, pressure, or voices in her head. "Yes!" she cheered, climbing to her feet. Then she came to a sudden stop, arms windmilling at the sight of the Fayth stone.

The Hymn filled the air – a woman's alto, deep and soulful – but it didn't comfort, as the other Hymns did. The song was lonely, full of sorrow and loss.

Braska kneeled before the circular stone embedded into the ground. A ring of magical light surrounded it, casting disturbing shadows across his face as if to match the twisted figure in the stone below.

Tiptoeing forward, Rikku looked at the remnants of the Fayth's human body. The back of a woman's torso was trapped, her arms crossed over her head as she was consumed by the petals of a carnivorous flower. Anchored chains bound the hybrid creature and splayed it open at the same time.

 _Totally creepy,_ Rikku thought, a shudder running through her. She hugged herself, trying to become small and unnoticeable.

The Hymn faded. A figure materialized, floating over the stone: Seymour's mother, the spitting image of the memory they'd seen in Zanarkand during Yuna's Pilgrimage. She was beautiful, with long silken hair and ebony eyes. She sported the same strong jaw and air of cold amusement as her son.

"Summoner. Your prayers are not welcome here," she said, her voice low and authoritative.

Braska rose. "You are the Fayth," he said in awe. "I am honored that you have chosen to appear for me."

"This is no honor. I have not chosen you," she said. "You are intruders. Leave."

He fell silent. Although he had only collected three aeons thus far, Rikku figured it wasn't the normal process to be rejected by a projection of a Fayth after praying to it.

"Will you not grant me your aid, my Lady?" he asked, still carefully respectful. "Spira has need of your strength."

"You are not worthy," the Fayth repeated, her eyes merciless. "Leave."

The words were laced with a thrumming command, and Rikku's joints locked. Her feet turned her around against her will. _Not again! Why is this happening now?_ She fought the sensation, struggling for control.

And for the first time, her resistance seemed to be having an effect.

Strength blossomed, washing through her limbs and loosening them. She twisted to face Braska's back and dropped to one knee, clutching the ground. A bead of sweat rolled down her nose, and she watched it drop and splash onto the stone floor.

"How are you to be the judge of that?" Braska asked the Fayth, seemingly unaware of Rikku's struggle. His polite tone had vanished however, replaced with a hint of distress. "I _will_ fight Sin and destroy it, even should it cost me everything."

Frustration filled Rikku, both from her own loss of control and Braska's determination to self-destruct. She forced her mouth open and croaked, "Why? Why does it always have to cost everything?"

Braska glanced at her as if he'd suddenly noticed she was there.

Ignoring him, she focused on Seymour's mother. Rikku _knew,_ now. Knew it was the Fayth trying to control her body like a puppet. She clawed the stone and glared defiantly at the ghostly image.

The woman dipped her head and the pressure fled from Rikku's body. She caught herself before she could land face-first on the floor, gasping for breath.

"There can be no end to the spiral of death without sacrifice," Seymour's mother said. "It is the way of things."

"You can see her?" Braska asked, his surprise plain. "But you aren't a summoner…"

She stared back helplessly and shrugged. _I don't know either,_ she wanted to tell him.

But the Fayth was speaking to them again. "I will not hear your prayer, summoner. I was not created for you."

Braska's head snapped back around, anger clouding his features. _"_ I _will_ defeat Sin! _"_

" _You_ will not bring change to Spira."

"Hey!" Rikku threw her arm out. "You don't know anything! Made for your special little summoner, were you? He can't defeat Sin. You're the one who made sure of that – you and Jyscal!"

Seymour's mother gave her a knowing smile. "My son will save Spira, with the aid of my power. It is our destiny."

Rikku screamed, a raw cry of frustration and betrayal. Somewhere in her mind, she'd believed the Fayth were an existence separate and above the machinations of the Church of Yevon. That the power they held granted them some form of wisdom beyond a mere mortal's ken. Yuna's Pilgrimage had done much to bolster that opinion.

Maybe it was because this Fayth was young, still close to the memory of her humanity – but it didn't change the truth Rikku was witnessing: even a Fayth could have the same pride, and therefore the same failings, as anyone else in Spira – living _or_ dead.

"Rikku!" Braska reached for her, but she knocked his hand away, full of fury. He still wanted to defer to the creature before them; he didn't _see_ what she did. _We really are the only ones who can save ourselves._

"Braska's the one who'll bring change to Spira!" She shook, unable to contain her rage. It was more than just the slight to Braska, more than learning that the Fayth were not infallible. It was something she and Brother had tried to ignore in the painful years following the destruction Seymour had wrought in Bikanel.

 _Let it go. Home is gone forever and we don't need it anymore –_ those were the arguments she'd used against her own father, more frequently than she cared to admit. Despite that, she understood why Cid was so driven to rebuild his past.

Nothing could make her forget what Seymour had stolen from them either. After her mom's death, Keyakku had become the center of her family. But then Home was destroyed, and Keyakku along with it, and nothing in Spira could stop the fallout between Brother and Cid. With Keyakku's death, the last illusion of her own broken family fell apart, a machina missing an essential screw.

"Your son can't protect Spira!" Rikku spat. "He only knows what he learned from you – how to destroy the things most precious to the rest of us!"

The woman recoiled, then lowered her head. "...I see you truly believe in your summoner," the Fayth said after a moment.

Rikku nodded jerkily, not trusting her voice. At least something in her words must have struck home.

"Do you have the power to defeat Sin and save Spira from itself?" the woman asked, looking at Braska.

Despite his obvious surprise and confusion, Braska was still able to re-focus on his own singular goal. "I do, and I will."

"We shall see." The woman's form faded. "Prove yourself worthy, and I will grant you my power." Although she disappeared, the Hymn didn't resume.

Rikku glanced around the small room. _Pretty please don't be what I think that was._ "Uh, you didn't happen to get a new aeon just now did you?"

Braska looked confused. "No… that is not at all what I expected." He frowned at her. "You knew of this Fayth? Who is her son?"

The floor began to shake before she could answer him. And for once, she _really_ would have preferred to answer him. "We are in so many deep pickles they could make a salad out of us," she said, checking her weapon.

Braska hurried towards the exit, which had opened for them. "Is the temple collapsing? We need to leave before we're trapped in here!"

Rikku sprinted ahead, racing through the statue-lined room and out to the sunken passage. The temple rumbled, and she just _knew._ She stopped Braska before he could dive into the water. "No matter what happens, you have to get out," she told him, digging her fingers into his arm.

"We leave together," Braska told her urgently. "There's no time for this, the walls are going to collapse!" He tried to draw her down into the water with him.

She shook her head and yanked him back up. "You get out," she repeated, grabbing his face. "Don't try to be a hero. You're too important." Then she hugged him, and from the way he jerked, she could tell Braska was finally beginning to worry about something other than the quake.

"What awaits us outside?" he asked, returning her embrace.

"Pain," Rikku quipped. _I'm not gonna go down with a frown. I'm not gonna go down at all!_ She repeated the mantra a few times, and forced a bright smile. "Think of this as the Trial of Baaj. Let's do it! And I mean the fighting, not the other stuff!"

For once, Braska didn't laugh. "I won't let you die."

She pulled out of his grasp and dove into the water, not bothering with her goggles. There was no part of her eager to face a battle with the aeon of nightmares, but she wanted to begin the fight before her courage deserted her.

Braska followed behind her; they surfaced in the enormous chamber that was becoming much too familiar, but the room was no longer the dark cavern it had been when they'd left. Rikku could actually see the apex of the tall ceiling as mist swirled around it. Red light churned in the center of the magical storm like an ever-watchful eye.

Braska gasped, his eyes wide. "What is this incredible power – "

The mist exploded.

They were thrown to the ground as an enormous hook burst from the ceiling and slammed into the floor, cracking it in several places. The chain stopped moving and pulled taut; spouts of red lava and black smoke boiled up at the point of contact. Beneath the surface, a massive shadow took shape, revealing the first spiked petal of the aeon's crown as the chain pulled it out.

Anima's bloodshot eye rolled in its head, centering on them as it rose to its full height.

"Can't we sit this one out?" Rikku raised the Godhand out of habit, then let out a short, panicked laugh. As if her _knuckle_ could block Anima's blasts of raw energy. "Try not to get hit," she told Braska.

"Is that even an aeon?" he said, looking shell-shocked. He shuddered.

Rikku slapped him in the face. "Put on one of your dresspheres right now! Do it!"

Nodding, he reached for the garment grid and activated a sphere. Light swirled around him, and when it faded, she blinked and forgot about the towering harbinger of death looming over them for a split second.

Some things still had more shock value than even Anima.

At least Braska was wearing a tuxedo rather than a skimpy dress. On the other hand, it was the most gaudy tuxedo she had ever seen – bright reds, deep purples and glittering sequin accents everywhere. His playing cards danced in figure eights around his body.

"Huh. I'm feeling pretty lucky," he said with a delighted smile. Then he looked up at Anima and winced. "That one isn't very good looking, is she? Shiva has a leg up on her. Or two, actually."

Anima roared and squinted at them.

Rikku grabbed Braska and hurled them across the floor. Said floor exploded into splinters behind them as the blast hit, demolishing the area where they'd been standing.

"I can't believe you just called an aeon bigger than every building in Luca ugly!" Rikku fought the urge to smack the back of his head. "Do you _want_ to die?"

"Of course I do, I'm a summoner," Braska answered easily, rolling to his feet with more grace than he would have managed without the costume. He dusted off his jacket and adjusted the bowtie at his neck. "How do I look?"

Rikku slapped her forehead. "You look like you need to stop posing and _dodge!_ " They both did just that as another blast shook the room, stones flying. She peered out from behind the statue she'd used for shelter and glared at Braska. "Why'd you choose _Jecht?"_ she shouted. "Do something useful besides making it mad!"

"As you command, my Lady," Braska replied, throwing his playing cards into the air. "I think we could use some Felicity right now." The familiar rose petals rained over both of them, but something was different – the simple spell had gone into overdrive in much the same way he boosted the grid's black magic.

Braska collected the cards into his waiting hand with a snap and sent a taunting grin her way.

 _Of course_ he would be able to manipulate her garment grid more competently than she could – he had magic power to spare _and_ he was a trained summoner.

She wasted no time, taking advantage of the Haste lifting her heels. Anima glared, and Rikku leapt out of the way. The blast barely grazed her, exploding a pillar to her side instead.

She weaved through Anima's rattling chains and drove the Godhand forward, willing it to hit as hard as she could. It connected with a crack, creating a force wave so powerful Rikku was pushed backwards. The aeon shuddered, turning its eye towards her.

"Wha-oh…" Rikku said, trying to back away.

A flock of cards swarmed around Anima's head. Glancing over, she saw Braska's hands slashing up and down; the cards followed his movements, swatting and biting the aeon like a swarm of flies.

Enraged, Anima spewed forth a volley of blasts which smashed haphazardly against the walls.

Rikku retreated, rejoining Braska and looking for another opening. She was thankful for the Godhand's enhanced power, but still felt like an ant chipping away at the toenail of a Behemoth. "We need to use magic!"

"I'm a little busy here," he complained, hands still moving in complex patterns. He let out a cluck of annoyance and recalled the cards, quite a few of which were now singed along the edges.

Only after she'd pulled him behind one of the larger piles of rubble did she let her breath out in a rush. "That's a great trick for keeping it off of us, but it won't take that thing down! We need to bust the shell surrounding its body."

They both ducked as the rubble shuddered, hit by another attack.

"What do you have in mind?"

She thought about his dressphere. "Try your Magic Reels. Since you're stronger than me, they might do some actual damage."

"Magic Reels?" He closed his eyes. "Ah, I think I understand." Spreading his hands, the cards split into three bunches and hovered between them, before spinning and gaining the appearance of a slot machine's reels.

"Aim high. Try to cast Black Sky," she instructed as he focused on the cards. The reels slowed to a stop, displaying a match before the illusion collapsed. Rikku dropped her head and groaned in dismay.

"Whoops," Braska said as the image of three summoner's staffs faded away. "I think my mind was elsewhere." Then he looked up in surprise as a spell bloomed to life overhead and showered him with glowing feathers. "What's this?"

"Nothing bad," she replied, still disappointed in the failure. "Well… just cast something big at it while I try hitting it again! On three… two..." She rolled out from her cover; behind her Braska started chanting.

Anima shuddered as a massive Firaga spell blasted its face, temporarily blinding it.

Rikku leapt over a pile of fallen stones and ran forward. The hairs on the back of her neck rose; electricity crackled through the air as Braska released a Thundaga spell. Reaching her goal, she ducked under a chain and spun, striking the aeon hard. Again, a shockwave blew her back; again, Braska strove to cover her retreat, this time using a Waterga.

Bits of stone cut into her skin as she narrowly escaped another blast.

The air pressure plummeted – Braska aimed a Blizzaga at Anima's head – and Rikku flung herself into a roll. Her breath fogged as the spell encased the aeon's eye in a thick layer of ice.

They had a moment to regroup, but already the ice was glowing eerily, as Anima prepared to free itself.

"Ugh, you're bleeding all over the place!" Braska's nose wrinkled as he stared down at Rikku. Despite his words, he still managed to look concerned, cards fluttering around his shoulders in agitation.

She waved him away. "Relax, I'll live."

Braska deactivated the dressphere, his jovial manner disappearing alongside the outfit. "I'm sorry," he said in frustration, casting a healing spell for her superficial wounds. "I can't believe I said that – I wasn't myself."

Rikku ignored him and ducked as the ice casing around Anima's head exploded. The aeon shook itself, as if disoriented.

"I'm going again!" she yelled. Braska's desperate shout to wait was swallowed by Anima's furious bellow.

 _Faster_ , she told her legs and tensed her arm. _Go faster!_ She spun for another hit and heard Braska cast behind her.

"Nonpareil!"

Power flooded her as her punch connected. The Godhand was alive with energy, bolstered by the strength-enhancing spell. Her weapon tore through Anima's tough outer shell, directly into the creature's exposed inner torso – and her arm was mired in the aeon, holding her down.

"Eww, not again," Rikku gagged, wrenching free. The torn flesh around the wound shuddered; she hit the aeon once more while it was weakened rather than attempt a retreat.

Anima screamed, its skin rippling to cover the wound. Her next punch landed on the shell instead of the aeon's torso, though it still scored deeply. The gigantic petal she had hit was sagging, exposing the aeon's more fragile body high above her.

Turning, she signaled Braska, who was now wearing a long scarlet cloak and wielding a familiar-looking massive sword. He was covered from head to toe in pitch-black armor, but for the blood-red cloak and the frightening gold mask shielding his face.

Recovering from her shock at his appearance, she pointed at Anima's weak spot. "Hit it there!" she yelled.

He wasn't listening to her; instead, he charged forward, shouting. Rikku couldn't hear him – or anything else; the sounds of the battle disappeared.

The floor turned black and seethed beneath her. She only managed to catch one last glimpse of Braska before the roiling miasma closed over her head.

Suspended in midair, she turned herself around, feeling like she was falling through the Farplane. But, whereas the Farplane had been bathed in white light, everything was cloaked in poisonous darkness.

A tremor of movement caught her eye; the petals forming the lower half of the aeon's body emerged from the miasma and unfurled. An enormous, skeletal head, packed with pointed teeth and twisted horns, gave her a ghastly grin of welcome.

" _This is so totally not good,_ " Rikku breathed.

Anima's darker half laughed, as if mocking her for being so weak. This aeon, this _Fayth_ , contained the ultimate power, yet refused to lift a finger to curb Spira's suffering. It passively watched the world struggle for survival, yet presumed to pass judgement when it failed.

Rikku's paralyzing fear fled, replaced with the blinding anger she'd felt in the Chamber.

"It's all your fault!" she stuttered, so angry that the words tangled as they hit the air.

The creature raised its bound hands and broke free of its chains.

"You killed Keyakku!" She raised her weapon; the Godhand glowed neon in the darkness. " _You're not better than us!_ "

Even as she punched, Anima continued to laugh. Rikku's weapon exploded with light, striking the aeon's knuckle that rushed to meet her.

The laugh echoed, as if to mock her defiance and confirm Braska's doubts. _Only power matters in the end. And you don't have it._

Anima's bony fist slammed her arm away as though it were a blade of grass – her wrist shattered – and struck her body. Bones splintered; muscles quivered and tore apart; flesh melted from the intense heat. The hot tang of blood filled her mouth, and then everything went black.

**.x.x.x.**

Auron knelt in a field of flowers, touching something hidden between the stems. He looked up in surprise, before his brow furrowed. "Not yet."

"What?" Rikku asked, but he was already gone.

**.x.x.x.**

She heard his voice first, but she couldn't see him; her eyes weren't working.

" – back, don't leave! Not yet, not like this, I won't allow – "

Braska sounded so _worried_. She wished she could open her eyes and look at him, but she wasn't even sure they were still there. _Where'd my eyeballs go? That's a funny thing to lose –_

 _Pain._ Pure, white-hot _agony_ consumed her _._

Some detached part of her understood the sensation of being rebuilt even as she bled out; bones snapping into place, charred flesh regrowing and knitting together before it could flake apart completely. Braska's voice floated in and out between her wordless convulsions; when she could scream again, she begged him to stop between shrieks.

He continued forcing the curative magic into her, refusing her the mercy of unconsciousness as he healed her faster than her body could die.

Rikku's eyes returned before her eyelids, and she immediately wished they hadn't.

Behind Braska's crouching, sobbing form, Anima was still thrashing. It focused on him.

"Bra-a- _ah_!" she tried to warn him through her raw throat.

The blast of energy struck, and he slumped over her with a gasp of pain.

"B-br-bra …" she moaned. Terrified, her eyes travelled to his ruined back, where Anima's attack had torn apart both his shirt and the skin underneath it. Blood flowed freely from the wound, and his body lay motionless, trapping her.

Panic flooded Rikku as she struggled to free herself. _No!_ _ **No!**_ _He's not supposed to die yet!_

Braska shifted and a swirl of light surrounded him, transforming into familiar glowing feathers that fluttered to the ground. He struggled to sit up, pale-faced.

"I won't die here!" he swore. She twitched as he stood and staggered away; his back was still a mess, but it was no longer bleeding. He approached the swaying aeon, seething. "You are nothing but a coward, hiding behind your power." His voice was steady and sure despite the waxiness of his face.

Anima stilled, its eye trained on his figure.

"You were to test my worthiness alone, but instead you drew the both of us into this senseless battle." He raised his arms and cast, layering protective barriers and regenerative magic over himself.

"I offer you your test, then!" he ground out as the aeon struck him. A burn blistered over his outstretched arm, but he managed to reform the Protect spell just as quickly as he had brought Rikku back from death.

"No more tricks, merely a contest of wills! The summoner and the summoned!"

Rikku tried to sit up, fear freezing her heart as Braska endured another hit, but her limbs gave out.

Swaying, Anima rolled its head from one side to the other. It twisted its neck abruptly, directing a powerful burst of energy towards Braska. The blow brought him to one knee, but he was _alive_.

"You are forgetting your place, Fayth," he said, rising to his feet, the wound on his arm closing. "You were a tool created for the greater good, not your own selfish whims. I won't forgive you for hurting the innocent." He murmured and raised one hand. Magic rose in visible waves around his body.

Rikku could almost feel it; he was no longer drawing power from her garment grid. Instead, he was casting a spell of a magnitude she'd only seen once before.

A spiral of light encircled Anima, stilling into tiny balls of glowing energy before twisting towards the ceiling in a ring and beginning to rain holy lances into the aeon.

Braska's chanting stopped, but his hand remained outstretched, magic continuing to pulse around him.

 _Trancing_ , Lulu had once called it. The ability to cast wordlessly, from the depths of one's soul. She'd dismissed the possibility of Rikku being able to learn it; it was a power you had to be _born_ with. Even Yuna couldn't do it.

Braska, it seemed, _could_. The ring descended around Anima once more, spears of light piercing the struggling aeon. The spell continued unabated – bright stars raining from the ceiling in a dizzying flash of power that struck again and again. The low hum generated by his spell grew to a feverish pitch, echoing in Rikku's ears.

A low groan sounded; Anima's huge body listed to the side, its last remaining defensive petal wilting even as Braska continued to strike it. The aeon shuddered, glowed, and collapsed into a thick mist of pyreflies.

Braska lowered his arm and watched it dissolve, panting.

In Anima's place, floating above the debris, the Fayth appeared before them.

"You have been tested, and found worthy," she said. "I will lend you my power." Her fierce expression softened. "Your will is strong. You are indeed a mighty summoner. Perhaps you will be able to spare my son from his pain."

She faded and Braska fell to his knees, gasping and tearing at his chest. Rikku watched in awe as he struggled to absorb Anima's essence; a nova of light surrounded him, disappearing into his body. When it was over, his ragged breath echoed through the chamber.

She listened to the rush of water pouring into the damaged room. _He did it._

"Rikku," he called. A tongue of flame sprung to life in his hand and he stumbled towards her. "Can you walk?"

She licked her lips and cleared her throat once to test it. "I'm not sure," she rasped. "But I know I can't swim."

Nodding, he slung one of her nerveless arms over his shoulder. Together, they struggled to their feet and limped towards the exit. Despite the excruciatingly slow pace, the crumbling temple held around them.

After what seemed like an endless journey, they emerged into the cool night air. Rikku didn't protest when Braska dropped her and all but collapsed by her side under the open sky. She closed her eyes. _I just need a moment,_ she thought. _A tiny breather._

**.x.x.x.**

When Rikku's eyes cracked open, bright mid-morning sunlight assaulted her. Wincing, she covered her face and struggled to orient herself. She was lying flat on her back near the remains of their firepit in the temple's outer chamber; Braska must have moved her there after she collapsed.

 _I'm alive_ , she realized as her grogginess faded. _I'm still alive._

Gingerly testing her limbs, Rikku bit back a groan of pain. Her body felt like one large bruise, and her hair was as stiff as her limbs. Turning to one side, she saw her belt, neatly rolled beside her head. Her eyes travelled beyond it to spot Braska, standing by the edge of the ocean.

His shirt was in tatters, held around his shoulders by a few threads and a prayer. The braid hanging down the center of his back did little to hide the fresh pink scar that radiated outwards like a starburst over his skin. His bearing looked different; something in him had changed over the course of the night.

As if sensing her eyes on him, he turned and smiled, and the difference clicked – the tension weighing him down since their arrival was missing.

"You're finally awake. I don't suppose you're feeling up to catching us some breakfast?"

Rikku rolled onto her face and pushed her legs up under her, resting there for a moment. She heard Braska laughing at her awkward pose.

"Do you need some help?"

"Not from you!" She sat up with a speed she didn't realize she had regained; flashing the sky in a miniskirt was probably a bad idea while he was watching. Then she winced and rolled her shoulders. "Ugh, I ache all over."

"The best thing for sore muscles is more of what made them sore," Braska told her.

She huffed. "I bet Auron taught you that."

He shrugged. "Does it matter? You need to clean yourself off and I need to eat. I believe it would be best to apply his wisdom in this case."

Rikku reached for her belt and snapped it on, then straightened and checked her weapon. "You're so sensitive to a girl's needs." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "I can see where Auron learned how to date."

"The morning grows no younger," Braska answered her with a note of cheer.

She scowled and stomped by him, intent on ignoring the twinkle in his eye.

He caught her arm and spun her into an embrace. And then, to her mortification, he dug his cheek into her crusty hair.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" she asked. "I think I'm wearing parts of my own body as decor right now."

Braska laughed. "Believe me, I've seen you looking worse."

"I know." She turned her forehead into his chin. "Thanks for saving me."

"I keep my promises," he replied. Then he drew back and tilted her face up with the tip of his finger. "Rikku, please…" His voice quieted as his head lowered.

Rikku's breath hitched and her eyes fluttered closed.

"... be careful," he finished, shoving her.

Her scream cut off as she hit the water, and she resurfaced flailing and spluttering. "First Auron and now you! Just because I can swim doesn't mean I like being dunked!" She slapped the water with her hand, spraying him as he laughed. "I can't believe you got me! _Again!_ Ugh!" She turned and swam away, trying to bury her giggle.

A short while later, she was feeling more like herself while they shared a meal over the remains of the campfire. "So," she said cautiously, "did you get it? You know… the _thing_." A small part of her railed against calling the aeon they'd uncovered a _Fayth_.

"Yes, and more than that," Braska answered her. He met her eyes. "I understand now. It was never the staff I was missing, but my own belief."

She frowned, disappointed. "It all comes back to Yevon for you, even after this?"

He smiled as though she'd told him a hidden joke, then shook his head. "Belief in myself. Thank you for being my strength when I had none of my own." He reached out a hand and beckoned her, and after a brief hesitation, she sidled up against him.

His arm descended over her shoulders and he gave her a light squeeze. "May I kiss you now?" He said it like he was asking for her opinion about the weather.

"... I guess?" Rikku answered. It probably wasn't a good idea, but then again, neither was nearly dying in front of him. _I should let him have at least that much._ "As long as it's just one kiss."

Braska chuckled. "I promised you once that I would not stand in the path of your true feelings. I _do_ keep my promises." Then he leaned over and pressed his mouth against hers.

There was some knowledge in his touch that hadn't been there before; a certainty still laced with an undercurrent of tingling passion. He took full advantage of her hesitant acceptance, not only settling for the press of her lips, but also winding his hand through her hair, tilting her head to deepen it into something raw and messy. When he drew away, Rikku had to swipe her mouth dry.

Braska traced the edge of her face, his eyes tracking her with unnerving intensity. "I must borrow your knife," he said after a moment.

"Huh?" She blinked, but he was already helping himself to the pouch at her hip, his fingers playful and teasing through the fabric as he sought out her tooling knife. When he finally grasped it, he flicked her nose and stood up. She watched, bemused, as he walked to the ocean's edge and opened the knife.

Then she she saw what he was doing. "No, don't – !"

He regarded the long braid hanging loose in his hand. "I suppose I have the shortest hair of all of us now."

Rikku lowered her arm. "Why'd you do that?" she asked, walking to his side.

Braska shrugged, dropping the link of hair over the water and letting it sink out of view. "Because it is an end to things. And a new beginning." He closed the knife and handed it back. Then he turned and wrapped Rikku in a close embrace.

"You allowed me to dream for a little while," he murmured. Patterns lighted around them as he spoke; his eyes closed and the sky parted overhead. Rikku returned the hug even as he fell into Rapture. Bahamut landed as softly as a giant dragon could, forgoing his usual fanfare. The aeon scooped them carefully into his palms, the gentleness of the motion an odd contrast to his fierce power.

"No, thank _you_ ," she whispered against Braska's ear. "For showing me who you really are. Maybe one day, I'll be brave enough to do the same." She looked over his shoulder into Bahamut's knowing gaze and nodded.

The dragon tensed, before leaping into the air. With a few powerful strokes of his mighty wings, the island of Baaj became nothing more than a distant memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentleman Luck: Felicity+*: raise Luck and Evasion, Haste on entire party
> 
> Gentleman Luck: Magic Reels - Black Sky: 10x non elemental hits, dmg affected by magic stat
> 
> Gentleman Luck: Magic Reels - 3x Staff == Auto-Life
> 
> Samurai: Nonpareil: Raise Strength and Accuracy
> 
> Spells [Braska]: Full-Life, Protect, Shield, Regen, Holy
> 
> *The plus version of Felicity don't really exist in FFX-2, and Nonpareil is supposed to be caster specific. Braska's overdrive is based on Lulu's – the higher the magic stat, the more spellpower / chances for repetition in casting. "Trancing" is the term for overdrives / limit breaks used in FF9, as a sidenote.


	42. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader Djpunupipi created even more beautiful fanart for this fanfic! You can view under the fiction titled "Memento Vivere Artwork" in this series. For the rest of the year, this fiction will be updating around the 15th of each month. I hope this helps ease some readers' minds! :-)

The first sign of life Rikku spotted was little more than a speck against the vast blue sheet of the ocean. As they approached the dot on the horizon, a green-sailed ship, decorated with familiar tribal patterns, gained definition; they were probably nearing Kilika.

Bahamut dove swiftly towards the ferry, announcing his presence with a roar. He banked himself well away from the boat, but Rikku could still see surprised sailors running across the deck, likely at their unexpected appearance.

Bahamut rumbled, flapping his wings and hovering over the ocean.

"Thanks, big guy," she said, tightening her hold around Braska's body. "I've got it from here."

Gently, the dragon released them; they slid into the water with a splash. On seeing both of his passengers safely resurface, he flew away; a quiet rain of pyreflies fell when he disappeared into the clouds.

Braska stirred and she loosened her grip, still treading water for them both. "Welcome back. Can you swim?"

"I think so," he told her, cautiously testing the waters. He looked around, spotting the ship that was now sailing towards them. "Is that our salvation?"

"Well, they don't look like a firing squad from Bevelle," she told him. "I think I know those sails. Looks like the Winno, from Kilika. You ready?"

At his nod, they set off towards the ship, keeping a wary eye out for fiends. After all they'd been through in the past few days, their self-engineered "rescue" seemed almost anticlimactic –

An unmistakable whoop sounded.

A few figures were standing on the bow; one jumped up and down, before running to the stern and diving off the ship.

Rikku faltered, shocked. "Was that – ?"

"Jecht?" Braska finished, also looking surprised.

It had to be; their greeter was swimming through the water with all the power of a professional Blitzer. As he drew closer to them, the bright red headband around his hair was unmistakable.

"Holy shit! We found you guys!" Jecht yelled when his head broke water. "Auron nearly jumped off the ship right after me!"

"Jecht! I've missed your ugly face!" Rikku yelled, glomping him hard enough to send them both underwater.

When they surfaced, Jecht dunked her again. "Who you callin' ugly?"

Rikku sputtered and flailed, flipping sopping braids out of her face.

"Still, I'm happy enough you guys are alive that I'm not even gonna hold that against ya," Jecht said. "Braska! You okay? The hell happened to your hair?"

"The story would take longer to recount than I have strength to tread water," Braska replied. "And I am sure Auron is beside himself with worry."

 _Auron!_ Relief and excitement hummed through her veins. _He's here, he's okay!_ Her head swivelled towards the ship, trying to seek out his familiar red coat.

"Jecht, a moment," Braska said, turning towards her. "Don't hesitate," he told her clearly. "Auron needs to see you more than me." He smiled, wry. "Jecht is here to protect me now."

"Braska's right, Blondie. The past two days haven't been no vacation, lemme tell ya. I ain't ever seen Auron so bent outta shape." Jecht pitched his head towards the approaching boat. "Give 'im a reason to breathe easy. It'll do us all some good."

"Rikku! Braska!" She turned; Auron was calling out to them now, even as the crew prepared to intercept them.

Rikku raised one hand in a wave and redoubled her efforts to reach the ship, eager to see him. Grabbing for the rope ladder someone had thrown over the side, she scrambled up to the deck as quickly as she could. Auron reached down and hauled her up over the last few rungs, pulling her into his arms.

"You've returned." He pressed his forehead against hers, his voice full of all the things he couldn't say. _I missed you. I thought you had died. Thank you for saving my best friend. I love you._ Rikku returned his hug and eagerly met his lips. His hand wound through her hair, tilting her head back to deepen the kiss.

Her mind buzzed, some of the euphoria fading as the memory of Braska's parting kiss rose to taint her reunion with Auron. She pulled away suddenly and tried not to feel like the sea scum trailing in the wake of the boat.

Sensing her tension, Auron eyed her uncertainly. His hands, still clutching her arms, tightened. "Is Braska well?"

Rikku nodded and forced herself to look at him. "He's... changed. A lot of…" Her eyes skittered away from his. " _Things_ happened."

"Is he hurt?" Auron asked, and she knew he wasn't referring merely to physical injuries.

 _Yes_ , she wanted to tell him, _all the time_ – but she suspected Auron already knew that. "Not really. He's gotten stronger." She thought of her unpleasant encounter with Anima's power and suppressed a shudder. "A lot stronger."

"But – " Auron began.

" 'ey! Stop canoodlin' and give us a hand here!" Jecht's voice carried from the side of the ship, and shortly afterwards, Braska's head appeared over the edge.

"Braska!" Auron moved to help the summoner onboard, his eyebrow rising at Braska's appearance. "This is a new look for you," he noted, inspecting the summoner's shortened hair, bedraggled shorts, and tatty, stained shirt. Then his expression tightened as he saw the scar on Braska's back. "What happened?"

"It's good to see you too, my friend," Braska said, pulling Auron into a hug. "We can trade stories of our adventures later. For now, I believe some real food and clothing would be much better suited as a greeting."

Rikku looked down at herself at Braska's words, realizing she was still wearing her yellow bikini from Luca. It, much like Braska's clothing, had not weathered their adventure well. Her skirt was torn in several places, though thankfully her pouches and grid belt were still intact. The last remaining sleeve of her outfit was a lost cause, with only a single forlorn bow remaining, and her scarf was nothing more than a tatty rag fluttering in the breeze. The only part of her that didn't look like it had been dragged through a warzone was her Celestial Weapon, still as pristine and battle-ready as ever.

"Yeah, some new digs would be good," she agreed.

"Of course," Auron told them. "Jecht, take them below. I'll speak with the captain and join you in a moment."

"C'mon," Jecht said, leading them towards their cabin. The whole ship was very similar in construction to the Pualu, but lacking in the obvious displays of wealth their previous vessel had boasted. Instead, brightly dyed cloths were draped against the walls, and the unique tribal patterning native to Kilika decorated almost every wooden surface. Though lacking in luxury, the resulting atmosphere was homey.

Rikku felt herself relaxing, even though the yawning chasm of her anxiety still licked at her heels.

"Lords an' Ladies first," Jecht said, opening one of the cabin doors and gesturing grandly.

They trailed in one after another, and Rikku made a beeline straight to the nearest bed and flopped onto it face-first. "Pillows," she moaned into the cloth. "I will never take pillows for granted again, ever, I swear."

Braska mirrored her, falling backwards onto the next bed with slightly less drama but an equally loud sigh.

Jecht snorted, obviously sulking. "You guys are showin' them pillows more love than me? Some friends you are."

Though she knew he was joking, Rikku tensed, her misadventure with Braska still at the forefront of her mind. She lifted her head and snuck a glance at Braska, who'd thrown an arm over his eyes. "I think I'd rather shower my affections on pillows right now," she mumbled.

"Huh," Jecht said, looking back and forth between them with a growing frown. "Somethin' I'm missin' here?"

"We have had a rather difficult trial," Braska said. "One I will be happy to share with you once Auron returns."

Rikku shot up, her eyes wide. "No way! You can't tell Auron!"

"Tell Auron what?" Jecht asked suspiciously, at the same time Braska started and gave her a guilty look.

"Rikku, while I understand your hesitation well…" Braska began.

Jecht's sudden and intense scrutiny made her break into a cold sweat. "No-no-no! I mean about the other thing! With the spell!" She glanced nervously at Jecht, who was squinting at her with the promise of a full interrogation later on. "You know, _that_ thing. Regrowing my eyeballs and stuff."

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA," Jecht said, throwing his hands up. "That totally didn't go where I was expectin'. Regrew your _eyeballs?_ How the hell'd you lose 'em in the first place?" He paused. "You can do that?" he asked in disbelief.

Braska fell back against the bed. "Apparently so, when properly motivated." His brow furrowed. "I'd prefer not to dwell on it, in fact."

"Ditto," she said with a shudder. "Can you guys just keep this one on the down-low around Auron though? He… wouldn't take it well, I think. I mean you said he was already bad enough when he _thought_ we died, right?"

Jecht's attention snapped back to her. " _Thought_ you died? What, did you _really_ die?"

She paused, a memory dancing through her grasp like pyreflies when she tried to catch it. "Not yet," she answered slowly.

The door swung open, and Rikku jumped. Auron strode in, clutching a crumpled paper bag and carrying a bundle of clothing under one arm. "I've updated the captain to our situation. He's agreed to turn the Winno around and return to Kilika." He dropped some clothing off at the foot of each bed. "Courtesy of the members of the crew," he added, settling himself next to Rikku. "Now, what happened to you both?"

"Oh no," Rikku declared, leaning over him and grabbing her prize. "Prioritize, Auron. Clothes first!" After stripping off her accessories and her ruined sleeve, she shook out the geometrically patterned tunic he'd brought. It was much too large, obviously a man's shirt, but she threw it on over her head anyway. It settled over her like a baggy dress, and with a sigh Rikku reached for her belt and cinched it tight. "I feel so underexposed," she complained, rubbing the cloth against her abdomen. "This sucks!"

"It suits you," Auron said gruffly.

Rikku blushed and revised her opinion of the outfit.

Braska had also donned his replacement shirt, though it did little to make him look like a summoner any more than before. If not for his pale skin, his shortened hair and loud tribal clothing would've marked him as just another resident of Kilika. "I suppose I can find attire more suitable to my station at the temple," he murmured. "As well as a new staff."

Rikku winced. It was that stupid staff that had _started_ everything, right down to Braska being thrown overboard. "It's not like you even need one anymore," she said with a scowl. "You summoned Bahamut just fine without it."

"Is this true?" Auron looked surprised. He, more than anyone, would understand the significance of her words.

"I still need a staff to perform the Sending," Braska reminded her. "A summoner has other duties besides that of summoning."

"So you need a new staff, we'll get you one, fine." Jecht yawned. "Now can we get to the point sometime before we hit the docks? Spill, we wanna know what happened!"

Auron dug through the paper bag and passed each of them a sandwich. "How did you get that scar on your back?" he asked Braska.

"That was an accident." Braska put his sandwich down. "Perhaps I should start from the beginning. When Sin attacked, I was washed overboard…"

"... because of that stupid staff," Rikku muttered.

Braska frowned and cleared his throat. "...and rescued by Rikku, who dove after me. We were dragged away from the battle…"

"Wrong! Totally not dragged. We rode into the sunset on the back of that remora like the bosses we are," she corrected.

"I distinctly recall being dragged. And slapped about by a very large tail," Braska said with a touch of impatience.

"Spoilsport."

"... Rikku rode heroically upon the tail of the fiend, which carried us away from the battle. She also conveniently forgot to mention that she had lashed me to her back as a helpless bystander to her insanity. Now, if I may have your permission to continue uninterrupted?"

Rikku crossed her arms. "Not if you're gonna tell it like that!"

Braska peered at her. "Truthfully, you mean?"

Jecht laughed. "Lookit that. You even managed to get on Braska's nerves, Blondie!"

She glanced at Auron, who was watching their exchange. "You two have gotten closer," he said, voice free of inflection. "You're more comfortable with each other now."

Braska's fingers clenched on his sandwich. Rikku swallowed and picked at the corner of her dress. Even Jecht picked up on the sudden tension filling the room, his grin dying out.

"Auron – " Braska said.

"No, my lord. Please, continue." He clasped his hands and leaned forward _._

 _Away from me,_ she noted, suddenly feeling sick.

"I think I would very much like to hear the rest of this story."

Braska inhaled sharply and straightened, as though he was steeling himself. "We were lost at sea for most of the night. As I mentioned, Rikku had constructed a tether of sorts to ensure my safety as she swam us towards what we thought would be Luca."

"Just to mention it," Rikku cut in, "navigating is _really_ not my specialty." Anxiety was tying her stomach in knots and giving wings to her mouth, which developed a mind of its own.

"I'll say," Jecht scoffed. "You would've run into us if you'd been goin' in the right direction."

"Really?" she blurted out, both unable to contain her curiosity and also secretly hoping to derail the conversation. "How'd you guys get out? I mean, I thought _we_ were goners there for a while, and we weren't even in the middle of the battle anymore!"

"That is far from the truth," Braska cut in, and part of her yelled in frustration.

_It was working, Braska! Why'd you have to say anything?_

"Rikku never once gave up hope. I believe that is the sole reason we made it to Baaj."

Panicking, she glanced at Auron to gauge his reaction to Braska's glowing praise. "Enough hyperbole! Let's just stick to the facts!" she squeaked, observing Auron's darkening expression. _And let's make sure those facts are super-short!_

"We were rescued by Hypellos," Auron said, his voice curt. "What do you mean, the city of _Baaj?_ That is nearly twice the distance from Luca to Kilika."

" 'ey! I know that place!" Jecht chimed in. "That's where Sin dumped me when I first came here! Ain't much left of it though. You find anything else besides broken stones an' that temple?"

"A really, really big people-eating fiend," Rikku said. "There's no city left. There isn't even an island for a city to stand on."

Auron took a moment to digest the news. "Baaj," he repeated. "It's a miracle you survived at all." He looked at Braska. "Why didn't you just summon something before then?"

"I tried," Braska said.

"... and failed," Auron concluded, accusation leaking into his tone. Braska flinched.

Against her better judgement, Rikku reached out and tapped Auron in the elbow. "It's a sore spot," she whispered to him in a low undertone.

Auron gave her a searching look.

"Let it go, please?" Despite all the things she knew she'd done wrong, there was one thing she was still certain of: she was Braska's Guardian, and Guardians protected their summoners. She lifted her chin.

"Hnn," Auron said, refocusing his attention on Braska. "Well?"

"We encountered some rather unexpected difficulties in those ruins while searching for a means to escape." Braska toyed with his sandwich. "My staff was lost during the journey towards Baaj, and I was of little help to Rikku."

"Nu-uh," she said. "I let you have my belt. You helped out when you weren't trying to bring the ruins down on us with your mutant fireballs."

"Huh? So you tried usin' that belt to survive?" Jecht scratched his head. "Did it work out?"

Braska quirked a smile. "We may be of differing opinions on the definition of _successful_ , but yes, it did work for me. It was a bit easier to master this time, in fact."

"This time?" Auron's brow rose, and her heart sank as he turned to look at her with a hint of surprise – and was that anger?

 _He's definitely jealous now._ She bit into her sandwich to avoid answering, suddenly finding the composition of anchovy and sauerkraut extremely interesting.

Auron switched his glare towards Braska. "That wasn't your first attempt to use Rikku's belt?"

"It happened a very long time ago, in Macalania," Braska answered smoothly. "I am not surprised you did not notice. You and Rikku were fighting then and I was curious."

"You wished to satisfy your curiosity," Auron replied, his tone frosty. "Is that how you would describe your interest?"

Rikku's eyes teared up in her haste to choke down her food. It didn't seem like Auron and Braska were talking about her garment grid anymore, and she felt a pressing need to divert the conversation before it ended in blows.

"It's a machina!" she blurted, shattering the tense silence. "The garment grid is a machina. Even Jecht could use it if he tried."

Jecht leaned forward, suddenly eager. "Really? Can I try it right now?"

"No," she added automatically, holding her palm up to his face.

"Aww, c'mon! I just rescued you guys out of the ocean! Show a little gratitude!"

She rolled her eyes. "I think we would have made it back to the ship somehow. Besides, I'm not loaning _you_ my garment grid under any circumstances. The problems you'd get into with it would be worse than anything I could cook up."

"Now you sound like Auron," Jecht mumbled. "Pair of damn clones, you two."

"Hnn," Auron said, though there was a note of humor in the sound. Then he looked at Braska, his posture easing. "This conversation is going nowhere. You should finish your meal first, my lord." He pushed himself to his feet. "I'll be outside."

Rikku stood up, eager to follow him and repair the damage Braska had caused with his words. "Can I come with you?"

Auron stopped and looked at her. His gaze was no longer cold and angry, but there was still something wounded in it. "Eat first. Recover your strength. We can talk about this later." He left, slamming the door.

Braska put his untouched sandwich aside. "I have lost my appetite," he told them. "Perhaps some fresh air will do me some good." The gentle click of the door when he left was almost louder than Auron's violent slam.

"You know," Jecht said into the unsettled silence that followed. "You owe me for throwin' myself under the bus like that."

"I messed up," Rikku said, sitting back down and holding her head in her hands.

He crossed his arms. "Did ya sleep with him?"

"No!" she yelled. "I mean, not really."

"Blondie, there's a whole ocean between _no_ an' _not really._ " Jecht sighed and sat himself next to her. "You didn't see Auron when you were gone. The Stiff's got it bad for you. When he thought Sin had killed ya both, he lit up the damn sky. Freakin' scary," he added with a pained look. "That's how they managed to find us."

"Tell me what happened to you, and I'll tell you what happened to me," she hedged. "How'd you guys get out alive? I thought the ship was going to capsize!"

"It did," he said. "Auron kicked out the window and I took him up with me. He can't swim worth a damn, you know?"

"I know," she mumbled with a touch of guilt.

"Anyway, he got right back on the boat soon as it flipped. He just didn't give a single shit. Sin started doin' this spell thing, sending everythin' up into the sky."

"Gravity magic," she said, nodding. "It's one of the ways Sin destroys a lot of things at the same time." She thought about the gravity blast Sin had fired at the Fahrenheit; he'd literally carved a tunnel into the sea and skies above. It must have been Tidus' worst idea ever to try and face off against that on the deck of an airship. "How'd you survive?"

"Well, Auron was pretty mad."

"Define _pretty mad_ , Jecht."

He made a face. "It's just hard to describe. Harder to believe. I mean for real, he spun around and did this thing with his sword, and made… I dunno, some kinda hurricane, I guess? Wasn't all that big, but then it hit Sin's whirlwind, and kapow! Wind, water, and fiends everywhere! I thought I was gonna die, no joke, but he reached for that jug of his and threw it in the air. And then _boom_! It was rainin' so much fire I bet they saw it in Luca!" Jecht grimaced. "Blasted the rest of the ship we were hangin' off of into bits, though."

"Wow." She blinked. "So he drove off Sin all by himself?"

"Hah! I'd love to say a pissed off Auron could do that, but naw. He bought enough time for help to come. It was real close. He kept hollerin' for me to drop him and look for you guys. Almost did, too." Jecht rubbed his jaw and winced. "That man can pack a punch."

Rikku smiled in sympathy. "Thanks for not listening to him. Auron said Hypellos rescued you, right?"

"Sorta," he replied. "The crusaders were there first. They got these warships patrollin' around Luca, see? For protectin' the city. I figure a scout musta seen Auron's fireball and sent out the call. A whole fleet showed up. They're the ones that managed to drive Sin away. The Hypellos, now, _they_ fished us outta the water."

 _Hypellos? Working with the crusaders?_ The thought was so bizzare it gave her pause. "I didn't know the crusaders were letting Hypellos join their ranks?"

"They ain't. The one that got me said Tio put the word out soon as he heard I was out there." Jecht's sudden grin was all teeth. "Told ya I'm a superstar!"

"Wow," she repeated, trying to process the idea of Hypellos taking the initiative to do anything, much less something that would put them in danger. "They must _really_ like you."

"Not just me. They got everybody. Least, everybody who was still kickin'," Jecht amended. "They even brought me my pack!"

"They liked you so much they rescued your stuff," she said. "Couldn't they have done that with mine? Or at least Auron's?" The small part of her that constantly hoped for a life of luxury was wailing in despair.

"Don't think it was my charm that got me my stuff back," he said, digging through one of his pockets. He pulled out a familiar-looking object, no worse for the battering it had received. "Pretty sure it was this."

"Is that the Neptune Sigil?" The small object gleamed in the light. "It's true… your weapon really did choose you," she added, impressed. "You're inseparable!" She motioned to the Godhand, lying on the floor. "If you can find the other half of your weapon's soul, you can wake it up. It'll be fantabulous!"

Jecht eyed the crest with discomfort. "A weapon that's alive? Not sure I like the idea of that…"

"It's not like it's suddenly gonna start talking to you," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "It's more like… it listens. If you ask it to do something, it will. Almost like a machina, except you don't have to program anything. You just _wish_ and it happens."

"Seems like somethin' that'd be right up Auron's alley, not mine."

She smiled to herself. "I guess he's just not ready yet. The Weapons choose who they serve, we don't get a say in it."

"Whelp. I bet it woulda helped if Auron had a weapon like yours when he threw that fireball at Sin." Jecht shrugged. "Anyway, we beat it outta there on one of the smaller ships and let them crusaders do their thing. Auron was pissed the whole time and he stayed that way for two damn days. I thought he was gonna crack a few teeth, includin' mine."

"We're near Kilika, right? How'd you get all the way over here if you lost everything?"

"Oh, Auron still had some money. Somethin' bout an investment in Luca. We booked another ship to Kilika soon as we could. He was pretty sure you guys would turn up there at some point, an' here we are," Jecht said, "waitin' to hear your half of this adventure."

"Well, you heard what Braska said." Rikku fidgeted. "We washed up in Baaj, and I accidentally broke his staff. He got all weird and depressed, I guess."

Jecht frowned. "So what, you had some pity sex – " He shrugged at her offended cry. " – non-sex with him, and now you feel bad about it?"

She glared. "That's _not_ what happened! We just sorta kissed." Her face grew hot. "... a couple of times. But nothing else!"

"Well then, just tell Auron that so he can stop stompin' around. He's been takin' it out on me for two days already! I need a breather! What's the big deal?"

Rikku suddenly found the hem of her dress fascinating. "And afterwards, Braska… well, he… um… _he-kinda-told-me-he-loved-me_ ," she said in a rush.

Jecht took a few moments to puzzle it out. Then he scratched his head. "Yeah, and? Tell him sorry an' move on. It's not like Braska's gonna hold it against ya. He ain't the type."

She stared at one triangle on the edge of her hem. "I tried! I really did!"

Jecht squinted at her and waited.

"Alright, so I _may_ have told him I loved him too – just a little bit! – in the process. I was just trying to help him, okay?" she said, her blush growing.

Straightening, Jecht let out a groan. "I feel some kinda responsibility here as a bro to tell you this."

"I'm not a bro, Jecht."

"I mean as Auron's bro, Blondie." He rapped his knuckles against her forehead. "You can't go around _doin'_ things like that. You're gonna break his shrivelled excuse for a heart."

"I know," she said miserably.

"I mean it. Don't hurt him, Rikku."

She startled when he used her name. Jecht was giving her his best stern look.

"Are you giving me the shovel talk?"

Jecht dropped the glare and shrugged. "Well, yeah. How was it?"

"Four out of ten. Nice use of a guilt trip, but you're not very scary." She smiled weakly at Jecht's disappointment. "You're a good friend to him, you know."

He sobered. "He needed one after you two went missin'. Auron without a purpose just ain't Auron. He didn't even have somethin' to swing his sword at. 'Sides me, I mean."

"What should I do?" she asked in a small voice.

"Not sit around here mopin' an' lettin' Braska do all the talkin' for you," Jecht answered. "But 'ey, don't ask me. My wife's the only woman for me. I got no idea why you can't just pick one and stick to him."

Rikku scowled. "I did pick one! I picked Auron! Even Braska knows that now!"

"I bet Auron don't." Jecht crossed his arms behind his head. "He don't like talkin' about his _feelings_. Too squishy. You gotta get out there and find him 'fore he fills all them blanks in his head with things that ain't true."

"I guess so," she mumbled, half-rising from the bed.

Jecht caught her before she could go too far. "Not so fast! We had a deal; fess up about Baaj. Gimmie the short version. Fact, get right to that part about your _eyeballs_. What the hell happened?"

"Oh!" She squirmed, resisting the urge to rub her eyes to double-check that yup, they were still there. "Well, we washed up at the temple and found another aeon hidden there."

"Cool! So you did the Trials all by yourselves?" He brightened, then frowned. "Is that what gave Braska that scar?"

"There weren't really any Trials," she winced. "The aeon just didn't want to come with us."

"They can do that?"

"You don't have to stick with us either, but you do anyway," she pointed out, leaning into his side to remove the sting from her words. "The one we met wasn't a very nice Fayth. She tried to kill us."

"Damn! You mean you beat an aeon? You go, Blondie!"

"Huh? I didn't beat anything. Braska took it down. By himself. I was sorta out of it for that. You know, getting used to the feeling of being not as dead as I should've been."

"Braska? _Braska_ beat an aeon by himself?" He looked incredulous. "I know he's great at healin' an' all, but… you hit your head or somethin'?"

"He's stronger than you know. If you thought Auron's Tornado was bad, just… don't make Braska upset either, okay?"

"If you say so," Jecht grunted. "What's all this 'bout losin' your eyes though? What the hell happened to ya out there?"

Shivering, Rikku pulled her knees up and hid her face in them. "I almost died, alright? If Braska hadn't been there, it'd be all over for me." A warm hand descended onto her back with a little too much force, and she looked up, wheezing.

Jecht gave her another awkward pat and a crooked smile. " 'ey, you don't gotta talk about it if ya don't wanna. All that matters is you're here now, right?"

Relief flooded through her at Jecht's clumsy empathy. Death wasn't something Rikku liked dwelling on; she'd done enough of that after Keyakku and Auron had disappeared from her life. "Yeah," she agreed, grateful to drop the subject.

"So, 'bout this aeon. Was she hot?"

Rikku thought of Anima and stifled a manic laugh. "No, Jecht. Don't even go there. I'll be happy if we never have to see it again."

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "So what're you waitin' for? Go patch up your love life. Auron's a friend an' all, but if he socks me again I'm blamin' you."

"Right," she said, scrambling to her feet. "Thanks for the shoulder. I feel a little better now."

Jecht propped his feet on the bed and grabbed the rest of her meal. "Yeah. Now get lost before you go all mushy on me." He bit into the sandwich and waved her off.

Adjusting her ill-fitting outfit, Rikku hurried through the hallway and up the stairs. Light as the fabric was, having her midriff covered felt constricting. She scratched her itching waist as she came up on deck; how was it possible for something to be this uncomfortable –

"I don't want to talk about it."

Freezing, she glanced around. That was definitely Auron's voice. Pressing herself against the wall, she crept forward and peeked around it. Auron was leaning against the side of the bridge, stubbornly glaring at the sea. Braska faced him; his eyes flitted over when he spotted her, but he gave no other indication of noticing her presence.

"I've caused you this pain. Will you not at least hear me out?"

The muscles in Auron's jaw worked, but he said nothing.

Braska sighed and clasped his hands together. "She told me she loves me."

Rikku's eyes widened. _I'm gonna kill him! Well, maybe just hurt him! But really really bad!_ She tried to catch Braska's eye, but he ignored her.

"Your point?" Auron finally looked at Braska, his posture stiff.

"She also told me she loves you more." His smile held a touch of regret. "She rejected my advances, but not from any lack of effort on my part."

Auron was silent for a long moment. Then, quietly – Rikku wanted to curl up and die at the pain in his voice – he spoke. "Why are you both acting so guilty? You're hiding something."

Braska chuckled. "Not what you are likely expecting." His gaze drifted somewhere over Auron's head, unfocused. "I wanted to touch that passion you share together. I wished it to be my own, but in my hunger I lost control. Rikku… was very badly hurt because of my pride."

She blinked. Braska was playing with his words again, hiding the truth within layers of meaning. That didn't change that fact that he was _going to tell Auron she almost died which was not okay._ She redoubled her efforts burn him into a crisp with her glare.

"You're the one with the scar," Auron noted. "What happened? Tell me."

"We were forced into a battle I was not prepared to fight. I reaped the just rewards of my arrogance and nearly lost everything." Braska grimaced, and Rikku knew he wasn't talking about his own scar.

She swallowed.

"Yet here you stand, my lord."

Braska refocused on Auron. "It was difficult. We faced a great many obstacles and adversaries. I survived the ordeal due to Rikku's efforts, and have burdened her with this guilt as my thanks. She blames herself for _my_ failings. She thinks she betrayed you, when truly, it is I."

Auron pushed away from the wall and bowed. "My life is yours, my lord. It's your right to take what you want from it," he said with muted anger.

"I don't want to _take_ anything from you, Auron." Braska sighed. "I have always only wished to give you the means to find your own happiness."

Auron remained silent, and Rikku ached to see his face.

Whatever Braska saw there must have disappointed him, for he asked, "Will you hurt her now too, as I have?"

 _That_ was going too far. "Hey! Stop it!" she shouted, jumping towards them. Auron looked over in surprise as she flung her arm out defensively and sent a challenging stare at Braska. "Now you're just being mean."

"Rikku," Braska sighed. "I am _trying_ to help."

She crossed her arms and stepped in front of Auron, facing Braska down. It struck a chord; Auron'd done the same for her, once, protecting her from Kinoc. It bolstered her confidence. _At least I can do this for him now too._

"By making him feel _guilty_ or like he's done something wrong just for having normal feelings? _We're_ the ones who were wrong!" she continued, poking Braska in the chest. "You know better than anyone what it's like to really love someone. It's _messy._ Back off! You and your insecurities are only making things worse! This is something Auron and I need to work out _alone_." She narrowed her eyes. "You _promised._ "

"I simply wanted to give you the opportunity to speak in the first place!" Braska shot back, flustered.

"No!" she snapped. "Just leave us alone so we can talk! You have to let us deal with our own problems. We're not little kids, you know? We can think for ourselves!"

"Rikku, enough." Auron grabbed her shoulder.

Braska's soft laugh silenced him. "Of course," he said to Rikku. "Even now, I show my weakness. This place is rightfully yours, and not mine." He bowed to them. "At your will, my lady." He met her gaze; then, with a slight nod at Auron, walked away.

Rikku watched Braska disappear, still steaming. Then, she took a deep breath. There was something more important to deal with than meddling summoners first. Turning around, she uncrossed her arms and looked up at Auron.

"Why did you stop him from absolving you of all guilt?" Auron's hands twitched. "I wanted to believe him."

"Real love won't grow in a bed of lies," she answered. "You can't use guilt as a fertilizer."

"Was what he said a lie?" Auron asked her, the evidence of pain still obvious in his voice.

In that moment, watching the rare bursts of vulnerability pass over Auron's face – confusion, hurt, perhaps even the broken hope that Braska had lied to him – she understood _why_ she felt guilty.

It wasn't the kisses she had shared with Braska; Auron himself had said it before. Finding comfort in a warm body was just another way of reaffirming life in the face of death; there was nothing truly personal in it.

It was little more than an act until it was backed with emotions.

What Braska had told him had been her _true_ betrayal.

"I… I did say I loved him," she admitted, cringing at Auron's visible flinch. "That part was true. I love Jecht too, you know? He's a good guy if you can see through all that posing he does. Braska's a good guy, too. I believe in him. But that doesn't mean I want him the same way I want you. I chose _you._ I'm choosing you now. And I'll always choose you!" She stopped, embarrassed.

Auron eventually broke the silence that stretched in the wake of her loud confession. "What really happened?" he asked, serious.

 _He's not gonna like this._ She knew she couldn't avoid it, though; it felt _wrong,_ lying to Auron to protect his feelings. Wasn't that what she'd just scolded Braska for?

"Something… something bad. Really bad." She swallowed, trying not to think of the battle with Anima, and the torture that had seemed to stretch on endlessly when Braska saved her. "Let's just say Braska's a really good healer."

Auron's flinch was almost as painful as her wounds had been. "He saved you," he concluded, and Rikku nodded mutely. "And was injured in turn."

"I'm supposed to be his Guardian!" Rikku blurted out. The stress she'd bottled up over the last two days came hurtling out of her mouth in a tidal wave. "I lost my way. I couldn't hold on to anything… my duty, you, the future… I should've died back there, you know! I owe Braska my life. Instead, here I am, and he's the one with the scar! And I'm _still_ mad at him! But I'm madder at me because I was so _stupid!_ "

She didn't realize she was crying until Auron brushed away one of her hot, angry tears.

"Then you acted as his Guardian," he told her evenly. "You did your duty. It was Braska's choice to ignore your sacrifice, and he paid the price."

Auron's words didn't make her feel any better; what did it cost him to hold that straight face while trying to justify her behavior? She was the one stomping all over his heart and he _still_ wanted to help. Hadn't he always been that way? The thought startled her; even at the beginning, when they'd first met in Bevelle, he'd always been there to rescue her from danger despite his sniping.

_This time I'm the danger, though. How can he rescue me from myself?_

"I was too weak to protect him," she told Auron. "And I was too weak to protect you, too. I just ended up hurting everyone! I messed up." She hung her head, acutely missing the warmth of his hand as it dropped away from her cheek. "I… guess I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to end it now, though. You would've never betrayed me like that, because you're stronger than me. I'm only bringing you down."

"You are not weak."

She jolted at Auron's words, looking up in surprise; he gave her a wane smile.

"You did save his life. You protected him from Sin, brought him safely to Baaj, and came back alive. That is all I could ask for. Nothing else matters."

His words were comforting, but she still felt uneasy. "So… you mean we should go back to like we were before all this happened?"

"No," he said bluntly. The plunge her heart took at his words must have shown on her face, because he relaxed, moving closer, and drew her into his arms. "You fought with Braska to allow me to feel this pain. It would be easier for you to pretend you never felt anything for him, or to play along with his tricks."

His arms tightened around her, and she felt brave enough to return the embrace, scared of losing Auron _again_ , but in a way that was completely new and much more painful.

"I am not a _child_ , Rikku. I won't chase after you in a land of fairy tales and make-believe." He kissed the top of her head. "I want our relationship to be honest. I never expected it to be easy."

"I bet you never expected it to get this complicated so quickly either," she sniffled into his coat.

Auron's chest rose and fell in a silent chuckle, and something inside of her unwound. He could still laugh at her, at least. "With you, I have learned to expect anything."

They spent a few more moments locked in their embrace. "Can I kiss you again?" she asked.

"Not yet."

She shuddered.

Auron pulled back in concern. "Are you cold?"

She shook her head a few times, confused. "No, it's not that. I'm not sure..." She trailed off, grasping for an elusive memory.

Auron pushed her away. "It isn't over. I need time to come to grips with this. Don't ask me for an answer right now. And Braska – " He struggled to voice his emotions. "I can't hate him. No matter what he does, or who he _wants_. He saved me. I would not be here, with you, without him."

Rikku nodded reluctantly, knowing all too well the nature of the beast – loyalty – Auron was grappling with. At least he didn't have to worry about Braska climbing all over him, hungry for kisses and casting those dangerous Cure spells at every opportunity. _Did he?_ She didn't _think_ Braska was interested in Auron that way. Then again, if he _was_ … Her eyes glazed over at the thought.

Auron was looking at her strangely again. "Why are you drooling?"

Catching herself, she blushed and wiped her mouth. "Oh! Nothing?"

"Hnn," Auron said suspiciously, though he didn't press. He looked up as a bell rang overhead. "We're approaching the docks. Let's regroup with the others."

"Auron," she called out, grabbing the sleeve of his coat before he could walk away. "Are we good?"

He turned and stared at her for a moment. Then, with a slight smile, he nodded. "For now." The smile dropped. "Get Jecht up here. Move out."

Rikku gave him a salute and hurried towards the cabins, feeling better. There was, however, still a cold, hard ball of uneasiness nestling in the pit of her stomach. Though Auron seemed willing to forgive her, she knew it wasn't going to be that simple. For one, she didn't even know _how_ to approach Braska anymore. Everything had changed; even just _looking_ at the summoner was awkward now.

More importantly, even if Auron was willing to _forgive_ , he was definitely not one to _forget_. He may have let it go for the moment, but she knew it was far from over.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ability Auron used during the battle with Sin was the overdrive [Tornado].
> 
> * "My life is yours, my lord. It's your right to take what you want from it."
> 
> When Auron says this to Braska, it's highlighting the canon game relationship between the two men, of daimyo and samurai. If you understand the historical dynamic, the reason Auron says this should be self-evident, but if you aren't familiar with it, I wanted to give some context for the statement.
> 
> From "Warrior Puppets: The Samurai of the Tokugawa Shogunate" by Matt Williams:
> 
> "Samurai were mere puppets of their lords, not allowed freedom of thought in matters and constantly expected to do what they were ordered to do. Samurai would follow any order given by his lord immediately and without thought or hesitation, as per the code of Bushido."
> 
> In other words, what Auron is really saying to Braska is "If you ask me to give up Rikku so you can pursue a relationship with her, my honor commands me to let you do it."


	43. The Temple of Fire

“So, this is Kilika?” Jecht leaned against the railing, his gaze darting around the thriving fishing port along the coast of the island.

“Yes,” Braska replied. “It may not be as large as Luca or Bevelle, but Kilika does have a charm all its own.”

“That what you call this stench? Charm?” Jecht inhaled and gagged, cupping a hand over his nose.

“Jecht,” Auron grumbled. “Control yourself.”

“Fine,” the larger man groused, turning to face them. “So, what’s the plan?”

“There’s a Fayth here.” Rikku flapped her shirt, uncomfortable in the sweltering heat. “It’s on a hill in the middle of the jungle, so we’re going on a hike. A sticky, icky hike. And, did I mention the giant poisonous mosquitoes yet?”

“The journey to the Temple of Fire is worth that effort,” Braska chided, bowing toward the thick green forest rising over the edge of the village. “Although I am hoping that we have the means to purchase some shoes before we leave.”

“Shopping? With what money?” She pouted. “All our hard work in Luca, washed out by Sin. I guess I know what _I’m_ gonna be doing here.”

Jecht and Auron directed bemused looks her way.

“What?” she asked.

“Blondie, I told you Auron’s still got some money.” Jecht glanced at Auron. “You didn’t say nothin’ yet?”

“The timing wasn’t right,” Auron replied. “We only lost a portion of our earnings when the Pualu sank. You didn’t think I was foolish enough to travel with that much cash in person?”

“Our earnings?” Braska asked, glancing between them. “What earnings? Do Blitzball players earn _that_ much?”

“They do when they’re me!” Jecht told Braska.

“The odds were roughly two thousand to one,” Auron said to Rikku in an undertone, “and I bet generously. Three fourths of our total earnings. And all your personal share.”

Rikku blinked, reviewing her memory of their gil reserves; her mind crunched the numbers. She blinked again. Then she screamed. “WE’RE GILLIONAIRES?”

Auron grimaced at her attention-grabbing shout. “Not quite. I put aside a fund for Yuna as well.”

A nice thought, but Rikku could care less. She launched herself into Auron’s arms and hugged him, despite his disgruntled look. Grabbing him by the lapels of his coat, she bounced in excitement. “We’re rich! We’re _totally, filthy rich_!” She threw her head back and cackled, unfazed even when Auron pushed her away. “No more fiend hunting!” She whooped. “ _Ever_!”

“ ‘ey man, what gives?” Jecht called after her. “Did they pay you more than me?”

Braska looked dumbfounded. “I hadn’t realized Blitzing was quite _that_ profitable. Maybe I should have looked into enrolling Yuna in a few swimming courses...”

Rikku continued to laugh madly.

“I think we broke her,” Jecht observed.

“Woo-hoo!” She danced her way around the deck, throwing in an occasional cartwheel for good measure.

“Hnn.” Auron moved toward the gangway to the dock. “She hasn’t yet realized I’m still in charge of our budget.”

Rikku faltered and tripped. “What?” she yelled, scrambling to her feet.

Jecht shrugged, following Auron.

“…Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” she muttered.

“Well, perhaps he is joking – ” Braska began, but then stopped and paled. “Auron. I do still need shoes! We are going to stop by a vendor before we begin our journey, correct? ... Auron?”

No answer came, and Rikku watched with dismay as he hurried after the other two men.

**.x.x.x.**

The jungle was, as Rikku had guessed, even more sweltering than Kilika Village. Though the path was shaded by palm fronds, the humidity was almost unbearable; even breathing felt uncomfortable. She wiped sweat from her brow and wished, for the millionth time, that her borrowed “dress” was a two-piece.

At least then, fiend-hunting would be a little less miserable.

“Why do I have to do this?” she whined. “I thought we were rich now!” Focusing on the battle, she dashed forward and willed her hand through the lizard hissing at her. Stealing a petrify grenade, she skipped back, and removed the pin. “Fire in the hole!”

It detonated with a boom; the fiends crashed to the ground, transformed into life-like sculptures.

“We’re trainin’ our teamwork!” Jecht said, munching on the papaya he’d bought at the marketplace. “Next time, go slower. I still don’t get how you’re stickin’ your fingers _between_ ’em like that.”

“That’s because you’re not even looking, you meathead!” Rikku exploded, throwing her hands into the air.

“ _Auron…_ ” Jecht sing-songed. “Rikku’s bein’ _mean_.”

Auron looked up from the rock he was sitting on while polishing his sword. He lowered his sunglasses and gave Rikku a _look_.

“Fine, fine, I’ll do it slower next time,” she groaned, slumping.

“I still do not understand why I have to take part in this as well,” Braska groused, weaving between the petrified fiends. In his hand was a roughly-hewn quarterstaff, carved from a stray piece of wood. Red-faced and sweat-soaked, he struck at one of the statues with the weapon until the fiend shattered.

“I’ve neglected your lack of close combat skills for far too long, my lord.” Auron’s smile was cold. “This exercise should help improve both your strength and endurance. You’ll need every advantage you can get against Sin.”

“Thank you…” Braska huffed, swinging his makeshift staff once more. “... for thinking of me.” Another statue broke apart. “Could you not have applied that same thoughtfulness to my choice of footwear while you were shopping for your new jug?”

Auron made a token attempt to mask his smug expression, adjusting the jug on his hip. “Many Kilikans are proud to wear those sandals every day.”

Braska leaned on his knees and glared. “They’re made of reed and are two sizes too large. You only bought them because they were on sale.”

Auron resumed polishing his weapon. “You missed one.”

Braska shattered the last statue with an angry whack.

“Well,” Jecht said, throwing the remains of his snack over his shoulder. “Guess it’s time to move. We must’ve squashed every fruit fly between here and the village already.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Auron said, packing up as well.

Rikku let out a gusty sigh, before facing Jecht as he snickered.

“How’s it feel to be on the other end of one of Auron’s training regimens?” Jecht asked.

Rikku raised the Godhand at him, making it emit a few sparks. “Wanna find out how it feels to be on the other end of this?”

“Touchy,” Jecht grumbled, still in good humor. “Least you two took care of all them mutant bugs ‘round here.”

Rikku sighed, clambering to her feet and trying to stop the back of her dress from sticking. “Actually, if it weren’t for our resident slave-driver, I think I’d be enjoying myself.” She looked into the canopy overhead, drinking in the birdsong and the sun filtering through the treetops.

“It’s so different from what I remember,” she admitted, glancing around to make sure Auron and Braska weren’t in earshot. “Wilder.” Jecht had opted to keep the secret about his own origins to himself, and after the whole not-so-romantic fiasco on the Winno, Rikku was finding it easier to trust him with a few of her own.

Jecht stopped, crossing his hands behind his neck and looking up with her. “Yeah, they ain’t got a view like this in Zanarkand either. We got buildings taller than you can see, but the only color in ‘em comes from the neon lights. None of them trees or birds an’ stuff.” He smirked. “No man-eatin’ bugs either, though.”

Rikku laughed. “Oh, we still have those hanging around.” She plucked one of the brilliant orchids blooming on a twisting vine nearby. “But all of the nicer parts are going away. People got used to using machina riders. They get you from one end of the jungle to the other quickly and avoid all the fiends. And the sweating.” She twirled the flower in her hand. “The birds left because of the noise. The flowers kinda died out too from the fumes, and the path is always muddy and torn up from the wheels. You can’t even walk parts of it anymore without a good pair of boots.”

Jecht made a face. “Sounds like a real vacation paradise.”

Rikku stroked the flower carefully. “It makes me wonder sometimes if my future really is the best one possible.” That brought about a wave of guilt; she knew for a fact the people of Kilika would happily take a little more mud and a little less wildlife as the price of avoiding Sin’s periodic destruction of their town.

“If you don’t like it, why not change it?” Jecht shrugged at Rikku’s surprised look. “Ain’t that what I’m doin’ right now? You can do it too, ya know. Last I’d heard, nobody got a rulebook ‘bout how things are supposed to happen. Your Church tries real hard, but look how far it gets ‘em out here.”

“It’s not _my_ Church,” she protested.

“You’re Spiran, ain’tcha? It’s your Church whether you like it or not, Blondie.” He gave her a friendly nudge and jogged ahead to catch up with the others.

“My Church, my butt,” Rikku muttered, studying the flower in her hands. “Why not change my future, though? I wonder...”

  
_Wait a sec, what am I thinking?_ She gave herself a mental slap. _No, no, bad Rikku! No wondering! Wondering means Sin comes back! Wondering means Tidus will never make it to Spira!_ She blinked, rotating the orchid slowly. _… Right?_

“Rikku!” Auron’s tone was sharp. “Put that down.”

She scowled, pulled from her thoughts. “Why? It’s pretty!”

“And deadly, like most everything in this jungle. If you don’t want to use up our entire stock of antidotes, stop being so careless. We’re leaving for the temple now.”

Rikku scoffed and tossed the flower aside. It settled among the twisting vines and lush greenery – a shock of brilliant red. _Change the future? Yeah, right! What a dumb idea._

Without Auron forcing them to stop and beat the underbrush for fiends every few meters, they made quick progress. That changed, however, as they arrived at the base of the stairs to the temple.

“Where is it?” Jecht squinted and shaded his eyes, looking at the seemingly endless series of stone steps and circular plateaus leading up the hillside. “I don’t see no temple ‘round here. Ain’t it supposed to be huge or somethin’? Where the hell is it?”

“The temple in Kilika is mostly underground,” Braska told him. “We’re probably standing on top of a portion of it right now. But the entrance is at the zenith of these steps. We call it the Pilgrimage Road.”

Rikku groaned, fanning her shirt. “Forget what I said, I’m really missing the machina now.”

“Think of this as another excellent training opportunity.” Despite his words, Auron tugged off his coat and wiped his brow.

The four of them started climbing at a slow pace, and Rikku noted with a little satisfaction that Auron’s undershirt was just as damp with sweat as hers. Little was said until they reached the first circular platform.

“Whoa! The hell is that?” Jecht made a disgusted face at the thick-lipped fish leering at them. He spun around and jumped. “Ugh, it has a brother!”

Auron looked the statues over. “Kilika has a thriving fishing industry. People idolize what they know.”

“But why’d they make it look like ol’ fish lips here is puckerin’ up?”

“Maybe they _really_ love fish.” Rikku brushed by, too hot and tired to admire the statue. Her calves were screaming, her eyes stung, and worse yet, there wasn’t a drop of water in sight – other than on her sweat-soaked clothing.

Braska gave Jecht a sympathetic pat as he passed. “These artistic statements line the entire length of the path, I regret to inform you.”

“I liked the sparkly boom temple better,” Jecht mumbled.

The hike was slow and arduous; Rikku felt herself wilting with every step. It wasn’t just the stifling heat that was sapping her energy, though – even with Jecht’s banter, the palpable strain between Auron and Braska made her want to sink into the ground. And despite what he’d said on the Winno, it was clear that Auron was also still pretty pissed off at _her_ , too.

Guilt wasn’t a feeling she was used to experiencing, but she was starting to realize she hadn’t actually taken Jecht’s advice. _I never apologized to Auron._

Squaring her shoulders, she resolved to pick up her pace. _Well, that’s gotta change._ But instead, her feet slowed as the oppressive jungle heat reminded her _why_ she’d been flagging.

_… I’ll make sure he understands how I feel when I’m not about to turn into a walking Flame Flan._

By the time they reached the next platform, even Jecht was starting to huff, mopping his face with the hanging length of his bandana.

Braska was openly using his quarterstaff as a third leg. “Auron. We’ll rest here,” he declared, a note in his voice indicating he wouldn’t compromise. He sat down in the shade of one of the hideous fish sculptures and closed his eyes.

“Fine,” Auron said, unhooking his jug from his hip. After taking a short sip, he walked over and passed it to Braska. “It’s water. Drink.”

Braska cracked an eye open and regarded the other man. Then with a faint nod, he accepted the offering and took a long draught. “Thank you, my friend,” he said as he handed the flask back.

Auron grunted and moved on. He held out the jug to Rikku, who took it and drank so greedily that he pulled it out of her hands. “Leave some for Jecht,” he scolded.

“ ‘ey man! Why am I last?” Jecht snatched the drink out of Auron’s hands and guzzled the remaining water down.

“Because you’re my favorite,” Auron told him. Corking the jug, he turned to them and crossed his arms. “Be on the lookout for fiends when we continue. We’ve been lucky so far, but the path is long enough that it’s not uncommon to be attacked along the way.”

Rikku frowned. “Hey, isn’t it the warrior-monks’ job to guard the temples? Why do we have to do all the work _again_?”

Auron’s sardonic grin lacked any trace of humor. “Kilika and Besaid’s temples are a bit more difficult to reach. They don’t pull in quite as much income as the others.”

She wrinkled her nose. “No money, no monks, huh?”

“I’m sure it is merely a forty-year oversight on Maester Mika’s part,” Braska noted with a hint of cynicism. He pulled himself to his feet and leaned against his staff. “Shall we continue?”

They resumed their slow trudge up the steps, but it wasn’t long before Auron’s prediction came true.

“Gnat ahead,” Jecht called, darting forward.

Rikku felt like she was going to melt. “Squash it yourself!”

“You should be more serious about this,” Auron told her, drawing his sword and rushing to aid Jecht.

Rikku dragged her heels and shared a conspiratorial grin with Braska when she noticed him doing the same. “Do your feet hurt?” she asked him innocently.

“I seem to have stubbed my toe upon this stone. Perhaps it’s because of my _inappropriate footwear_ ,” Braska added with more volume.

“Get over here now, you two!” Auron snarled at them.

Shrugging, Rikku shambled near, adjusting the straps on her Godhand. Braska trailed behind, still using his staff as a walking aid. The crested the platform to see Auron batting away one of the gigantic flies. Jecht was being swarmed by the remaining two; even as he split one in half, the other dove in and sunk its stinger into his flesh.

“OWW! DAMN IT, YOU LIL’ PESTS!”

Rikku and Braska both winced. “He’s not gonna be able to sit down for days if you don’t heal that,” she noted.

Braska sighed and waved his staff, curing both the poison and Jecht’s ridiculous pain-induced dance.

Auron killed the remaining fiend and stalked toward Rikku and Braska, pyreflies shadowing his footsteps. He fixed them both with an _Auron Look Mark III_. “Why didn’t either of you assist? We can’t function as a team if you aren’t present for the battle!”

“Woah, slow down there buddy,” she protested. “We’ve been fighting these things all day long! There’s nothing _serious_ about these bugs and you know it. Even Braska could handle them alone… well, with a couple of lucky hits,” she amended.

“Thank you for that vote of confidence,” Braska said, exasperated.

“ ‘ey guys?” Jecht limped over.

Rikku rolled her eyes and ignored him. “My point is, we don’t even need to do this for money anymore. All _teamwork_ means here is, _‘Whoever is closest gets to hit it first.’_ ”

“You could at least help,” Auron countered. He transferred his glare to Braska. “Especially you, milord.”

Braska slammed the butt of his staff against the ground. “You don’t want my help. You want to punish me. The next time you feel petty, you can walk through the jungle in these shoes. I am finished with this ridiculous penance.” He kicked off the flopping sandals.

“Yo?” Jecht waved his hand.

“Not now, Jecht,” Rikku said.

“I am not being _petty_ ,” Auron growled. “Although I think I have every right to be vindictive!”

Rikku crossed her arms and glared. “Liar liar, pants on fire! These fiends are a waste of a Celestial Weapon. And the muscles in my arm, which are pretty sore from all the stealing I did earlier, by the way.” She stuck her nose up. “If it comes my way, I’ll smack it. Otherwise, do it yourself next time!”

“Hello!” Jecht shouted. “I don’t care what you all decide to do, but my ass hurts. Somebody else take care of that over there.” He pointed over his shoulder at a swarm of angry fiends that were approaching behind him.

Rikku counted the bugs with growing dismay. “Five? Five of them? Is this some kind of cruel joke the universe is playing on me? That’s it – ”

Braska spat out a few short words. A whirlwind of glowing stars fell from the sky, blasting the fiends with spears of destructive light. They also carved away a good portion of the intricate stonework underneath them and took out one of the statues, blowing the head clean off and leaving only half of a fishy tail behind.

“... Overkill, much?” Rikku mused when Braska lowered his staff. “Thumbs up on the redecoration, though.”

Auron and Jecht stared at Braska, who shrugged.

“What? You wished for us to take care of them and I wanted to test my new spell,” he said.

“Ha-HA!” Jecht shook himself and pumped his fist into the air. “So that’s how ya did it! Rikku was right, you got some mad skills, B!”

“That’s how you did _what_ ,” Auron asked, overcoming his shock.

Braska raised a bemused eyebrow at Rikku. “You didn’t tell him?”

Rikku winced as Auron’s laser stare cut over to her. “I thought you were telling him! You told him practically everything else, didn’t you?”

Braska frowned, looking affronted. “I thought you didn’t want me to tell him _anything_!”

Jecht scratched his head. “ ‘ey, Blondie, you told _me_.”

“You… told Jecht,” Braska said, rapidly paling.

Rikku turned bright red. “Uh, not _everything_!

Jecht smirked at Braska. “She told me _enough_ , though.”

Auron unsheathed his sword and swung it – a silent, complicated kata of warning.

Jecht positioned himself behind her. With one magnanimous step backward, Braska joined him.

  
_Cowards_. She eyed Auron’s continued movements and forced a laugh. “So, maybe we forgot to mention that Braska got this nifty new aeon in Baaj. It gave him that scar on his back and now he can kick butt!” The sweat beading on her forehead had nothing to do with the tropical heat. “That’s the short version, soooo… don’t kill us please?”

Auron sheathed his sword and rubbed his forehead. “We need to work on your communication skills.” He lowered his hand and glared at them.

“Uh, Blondie, race you to the top?” Jecht asked.

“You bet your life on it!” Rikku agreed, scampering away from Auron. “Literally,” she huffed, overtaking Jecht’s own desperate scramble.

“If it was good enough for Lord Ohalland, it’s good enough for me,” Braska added, finding his second wind and running after them.

“Hnn,” Auron said as he watched them flee. He began a much more sedate climb up the steps, a faint smirk on his lips.

**.x.x.x.**

“Now,” Auron warned them, tapping the hilt of his sword. “I expect to see a little more decorum before we approach the temple. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Rikku, Jecht, and Braska chimed.

“Ain’t you the leader here?” Jecht whispered to Braska.

“Not until I have shoes again, at the least,” Braska murmured back. Auron cleared his throat, and Braska fell silent.

“Good.” Turning, Auron marched up the remaining stairs. “Let’s go.”

“Blondie, you need to do better. I thought I told you to take care of that temper!”

She stuck her tongue out. “Hey, at least you didn’t get the worst of it!”

“Neither did you,” Braska pointed out. He sighed. “But, I suppose I’ll need to take up the mantle of a summoner again once we reach the temple.” Disappointment was obvious in his voice.

Jecht scratched his head. “Wait, you’re _enjoyin’_ this? Auron’s been ridin’ you the hardest outta all of us!”

“Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ve _enjoyed_ any of his punishments thus far. My feet certainly haven’t.” Chuckling, Braska shook his head. “Auron is merely treating me the way he would one of you two, had you upset him. He would not have dared to do so before.” His expression morphed into something old and tired. “But it is high time for me to return to reality.”

“...You know, Braska, they’re just robes,” Rikku began. “You don’t even need the staff anymore. It’s not like you have to change who you are just because you have them. We’d all still be your friends anyway.”

“It is freeing, to travel among you like this,” Braska replied. “But without my robes and staff, I may not be able to complete the Pilgrimage.”

Her face fell, understanding what he was really saying; he needed _distance_.

“Huh? Why?” Jecht asked. “They got a dress code in Zanarkand or somethin’ ?”

“Not a dress code. However, you might say a certain mindset is required.” Braska started walking up the steps. “Besides, I am sure both you and Auron would appreciate it if I reined in my more… _impulsive_ nature.”

Jecht grunted as Braska left them behind. “Didn’t realize how bad he got it for you,” he said to Rikku. “What’re ya gonna do ‘bout him?”

“I think I did more than enough already. I’m voting for ignoring all this awkward in the room and letting Auron handle him.”

“Well, that ain’t gonna work.” Jecht snorted. “Mark my words, folks like him? They always snap, sooner or later. And, if ya stick to your plan, Auron’ll be doin’ the snappin’ for him.”

“They’re best friends though,” Rikku said. They resumed the slow climb. “How do you know they won’t be able to work things out?”

“ ‘Cause _I’d_ break anybody dumb enough to put the moves on _my_ wife.”

“ _Wife_?” Rikku squeaked, face immediately flaming.

Jecht smirked. “What? C’mon, even you gotta know the Stiff’s a lifer by now.”

Rikku glared and held her cheeks, trying to cool the sudden burn down. “Don’t ever mention that again! _Marriage!_ Geez, we haven’t even made it past the midfield yet!”

“ _Eurgh_!” Jecht gagged. “Too much info, Blondie! Auron, gettin’ handsy? Now I gotta wash my brain!”

“Whatever you two are discussing can be done from up here.” Auron paused mid-turn, then leaned back over. “Better yet, just stop talking when you reach the temple.”

“Grumpy.” Rikku pouted.

“Yeah. Just like an old married guy, huh?”

Rikku flipped a rude gesture towards Jecht and skipped up the last of the steps. She came to a stop next to Auron and Braska, taking in the grounds.

Kilika’s temple was an ugly, squat thing. It rose out of the jungle’s peak like a boil on the hillside, its outer hull bearing no resemblance to the artistry or majesty of any of the other temples they’d visited thus far. Colorful flames burning behind magical barriers lit the area, the only sign that the building was host to a Fayth. The whole thing looked like a primitive rendition of a stone airship – something people might have built in the long centuries after the Machina War ended to honor what they remembered but didn’t quite understand. It also looked to be the work of the same hand that had gifted Spira with Kilika’s unique fish sculptures.

She could appreciate the irony of the structure being dedicated to the Church of Yevon.

Besides its lack of architectural grace, a large part of the temple’s shabby appearance was its obvious lack of upkeep. The upper half of the outer walls were in ruins, overgrown with many years’ worth of jungle lianes and moss. It was easy to see where the monetary hand of the Church was tightening its fist.

Despite that, the temple bustled with an organic liveliness absent from its more majestic counterparts. Villagers from the port swarmed everywhere, chatting, praying, and hocking religious souvenirs in makeshift stalls. To one side of the temple, hopeful Blitzball players were even training.

The murmur of conversation was everywhere, and the attending priests and nuns looked just as relaxed as the visitors.

“Whoa,” Jecht said. “This place is awesome!”

Rikku scratched her head. Sure, the atmosphere was lively, but was Jecht just ignoring the temple’s visible disrepair? “ ‘Awesome’ might be a stretch,” she said dubiously.

Jecht pointed. “They got a hot spring right there! I’m goin’ in!” He ran for the circular indentation that was glowing misty green in the middle of the courtyard.

“Jecht!” Auron yelled. “It’s not water – ”

Jecht was already airborne, trying to cannonball right into the center of the “pool.”

Rikku winced as he hit the magical, Fayth-generated force field with a painful-sounding thud and flopped over, drawing activity around the temple to a standstill.

“This is not a good day for my ass,” Jecht groused in the ensuing silence as he stood, rubbing his posterior.

A few titters spread through the crowd, and movement around them resumed.

As Jecht limped back towards them, Auron palmed his face. “Why in Yevon’s name would you make a spectacle of yourself like that?”

“I thought it was water, alright?” Jecht looked a little embarrassed. “Nobody ever told me flames could be _green_.”

Braska sighed. “I should apologize. It slipped my mind to inform you about the quirks of this particular temple.” He pointed towards the circular depression, flickering deceptively with its cool fire. “The Fayth here powers the flames, which change color based on several factors. For example, they will turn blue when the temple is in danger, or bright red when a summoner communes with the Fayth.”

“So why’s that one green?” Jecht asked, peering at the “pool.” “ ‘Specially made for greetin’ summoners?”

“Oh my! You are a summoning party?” A smiling nun approached, bowing when she stopped. “I couldn’t help but notice this lively young man,” she said, glancing at Jecht with a twinkle in her eye. She appraised their party, her eyes lingering briefly on Rikku, before she performed another, deeper bow to Auron.

“My Lord Summoner,” she said. Auron’s brow rose at the title. “You’ve chosen quite the collection of Guardians for your Pilgrimage. Kilika Temple welcomes you!”

Braska coughed. “Actually,” he said, stepping forward. “I am Summoner Braska of Bevelle.”

“Oh!” The old woman straightened, looking flustered. “My apologies, my… Lord…” She trailed off as she took in Braska’s bare feet, ragged pyjama shorts, loud Kilikan beach shirt and unkempt hair. “... I take it the journey here was difficult?” she added diplomatically.

Auron’s lips quirked. “For some.”

“Oh, you poor dears,” the woman said, grasping Braska by his arm. “You just wait right there and I’ll bring you all some water. And you, my lord… perhaps we can find you some better suiting attire, hmm?”

“Gladly,” Braska said, patting the woman’s hand with an even smile.

As he was ushered away, Rikku tilted her head. “You know… we aren’t famous here.”

“News from Luca would travel slowly,” Auron replied. “Especially after an attack by Sin.”

“But you and Braska aren’t _infamous_ here either,” she pointed out. “It’s like they don’t even know you!”

He shrugged. “Most likely they don’t. Politics also tend to stop travelling at this distance.” He looked pointedly at Jecht, who was haggling with one of the vendors over a blitzball decorated with a cartoon rendition of Ifrit.

“So we’re not celebrities, but we’re not pariahs. This is good!”

Auron grunted in assent.

“And we have money now, which is better!”

“No shopping.”

She deflated at his terse answer; Auron wasn’t budging on his anger. “Can I at least get a needle and thread to tailor this thing?” she whined, picking at her dress.

With a sigh, he said, “So long as you don’t turn it into another bikini, fine. Do it when we return to the port.”

Rikku hummed and swayed on the balls of her feet. Despite the surrounding hubbub in the temple – or perhaps because of it – it felt like they were alone. The lively noise surrounding them made their silence much more acute. _C’mon, Rikku. It’s now or never._ She glanced at Auron a few times, gathering her courage.

“What?” he bit out.

“Sorry,” she said, continuing her sway. She clasped her hands behind her back, hoping to hide her nervousness.

“What are you apologizing for?”

She slowed her movements and dropped her gaze to her boots. “Hurting someone I love.”

“...Why are you saying this now?” he asked with none of his previous impatience.

“It’s easy for me to say the words, but it’s hard to mean them sometimes.” She reached for his hand, relieved when he didn’t resist. “I’ve been letting Braska do all the talking for me, but I don’t think that’s what you wanted to hear. So… I’m sorry.”

Auron squeezed her hand. “Are you sorry you love Braska?”

Rikku watched the temple flame flicker and dance. “... I don’t think so,” she eventually said. “I don’t think I ever want to be sorry for loving _anyone_. Feeling love for someone else isn’t something you should apologize for.” She looked at Auron again. “I don’t love him the way he _wants_ me to, though. The way I love _you_. I’m just sorry that my feelings ended up hurting both of you anyway.”

“This is an unusual amount of honesty for you.”

“I don’t like lying to you,” she replied with complete sincerity. If nothing else, it was important he understood that. “Everything’s so much more complicated and I don’t even know _why_. I want to be with you. It should be simple.”

“Nothing is ever simple with you.” He huffed out a wry breath. “Maybe it’s my own weakness to be drawn in by complexity.”

She fidgeted, restless. “I hate this feeling. Like we’re fighting, even though we’re not.”

He attempted a smile for her, but didn’t quite succeed. “As do I.”

Auron pulled away as Braska emerged from a side chamber, escorted by the nun. Braska was clothed in a familiar mass of billowing robes, new staff in hand and even a helmet on his head. This one was missing the gigantic feather, but it did still have long trailing flap of fabric drifting out behind it.

“So they still keep the traditional uniform of Bevelle, even here,” Auron observed.

“He looks like a summoner again.” She couldn’t keep the dismay from her voice. _This is happening. Braska’s still going to go through with it._ She crushed Auron’s hand with hers. “I couldn’t lie to myself enough to stop him.”

Auron gripped her hand back, gaining her attention. “Braska told me _he_ tried to seduce you.”

“I tried a little, too,” she admitted. “I thought maybe… maybe if I convinced him he could feel the same way for me that he did about Raenn, he’d stop.” She thought about Braska’s prayers, and her discovery of his true feelings on the sphere. “But I couldn’t go through with it.” _Because he already really did love me._ “It just… backfired and got us into this mess. And then the aeon in Baaj came out and tried to kill us both.”

Auron exhaled slowly. “Your plan wouldn’t have worked. He’s not doing this for Raenn anymore.” He released her hand. “I’m not like Kinoc anymore either. You are the ones who showed me the faults of _using_ people in such a manner. I can’t thank you for trying to stop Braska.” His finger brushed her face. “And I don’t want to share you with anyone.” He sounded unhappy.

Rikku hid her wince; she’d tried her best to be honest, but his tone said enough. Her apology was acknowledged, but whether it was accepted was a more delicate matter. Weariness flooded her. _How long do we have to be like this? What can I do to make it better?_

“Oh there you are, dears!” the nun called, nearing, with Braska in tow. She handed over some filled bottles. “Water, to quench your thirst after the journey. I can’t imagine how you managed the climb in this heat!”

“Sister Ovelia has been most generous,” Braska told them, straightening his robes. “She even managed to procure a proper staff for me.” His placid smile towards them did little to ease Rikku’s tension; somehow she just _knew_ he’d been watching her talk with Auron. “Auron… if we are as well provided for as you stated, perhaps we could repay the good sister for her kindness.”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary, my lord,” Ovelia said. “You summoners do more than enough for the people as it is. It wouldn’t be right to take your gil as well. Now where is that other young man with the long hair? I’ve got one bottle left for him.”

“Sister,” Auron said, drawing a handful of coins from his money pouch. “You misunderstand Lord Braska. This is not compensation for services rendered. It is merely a token of our gratitude.” He pressed the money into the old woman’s hands.

“Well, on behalf of the temple, I won’t refuse, although – ” She choked as she did a quick count of the coins he’d handed her. “... _this much_! Are you certain?”

Braska’s congenial smile towards Auron deepened into something more sincere. “Of course. Thank you, Auron. Worldly trappings can sometimes obstruct us from reaching our goals. If I am to defeat Sin, I shall have no need for such things.” He glanced at Rikku. “Let us collect Jecht and enter the temple.”

Auron tensed, likely sensing the immediate shift in command. “Of course,” he said, words somewhat bitter, “we have a job to do.” He moved to follow the summoner.

“ ‘Sup?” Jecht asked as they approached, holding the fresh bottle of water in one hand and waving goodbye to the sister who’d brought him over with his other. “We goin’ in?”

“Braska’s ready to start the Pilgrimage again,” Rikku told him unhappily.

“That’s great!” Jecht ambled after Auron, looking at the steps heralding the entrance to the shrine. “I really thought there’d be bodies lyin’ around before those two started talkin’ to each other.”

Despite the oppressive heat, Rikku shivered. _That might still be coming._

The air chilled the further they descended into the heart of the temple. Kilika, like Besaid and Djose, was one of the shrines she had only chanced to visit with Yuna and Paine. And just as in Djose, being in the presence of an active Fayth changed the atmosphere considerably.

The low buzz of conversation filled the antechamber, but even the presence of visitors couldn’t detract from the feeling of power residing within the walls. Firelight danced across intricately carved reliefs lining the room, giving them a strange feeling of movement and life in the flickering light.

As with other temples, statues of summoners long passed lined the walls. Most were aged and rough, falling into ruin thanks to inadequate temple funding. The notable exception was one large statue near the entrance to the Cloister, meticulously maintained. Most of the visitors were praying to it.

  
_Some things never change_. It brightened her spirits a bit to see something so familiar and comforting despite all of her inner turmoil.

“Hey, Jecht.” Rikku tapped him on the shoulder. “If you were religious, this guy right here’d be your patron saint.”

Jecht squinted at the sculpture. “What’s so special ‘bout him?”

“That is High Summoner Ohalland. He defeated Sin three hundred and twenty years ago,” Braska answered. “He is very highly regarded here, as Kilika was his home village.”

“Not just that,” Auron added. “Lord Ohalland was a star player for the Kilika Beasts in his youth. For many years, before he took up the Summoner’s path, he was a world-famous blitzer.” He smirked. “Someone to compete with for your title as the best.”

“And they say he fought with a blitzball,” Rikku added with a giggle.

“...No, they don’t,” Auron corrected her with a frown. “Where would you get an idea like that?”

Rikku scoffed. “That’s what the bartender in Luca told us when…” _When Wakka was given his Celestial Weapon._ She remembered _that_ clearly. Wakka fainted dead away and Kimahri had to scramble to catch him. Even Tidus had been surprised to hear that someone else besides their resident chocobo-head had used a blitzball as a weapon; it even inspired him to create a new finishing move. The only person who hadn’t batted his lone eye at the news had been Auron.

Rikku swallowed. “Well, you never know. They’re crazy about Blitzball in Luca. Maybe some people like to keep the history the Church doesn’t care about alive. It could be true!”

“That is an intriguing idea,” Braska said. “I know the Al Bhed originally passed their own records down through oral tradition, but I hadn’t considered that it might be happening in Luca as well.”

Auron grunted. “If that’s the case, it’s better you never suspected it. If you’d voiced that idea while you were still a priest, Mika might have found an excuse to start an Inquisition.”

“Against the citizens of Luca?” Braska shook his head. “I doubt it.”

“They sent me to kill Cid if you failed. Inquisitions aren’t always public matters.”

“Umm, can we stop talking about Church-sanctioned assassinations while we’re _in the temple_? I thought you guys were all about the _decorum_!”

“ ‘S not like anybody’s listenin’, though,” Jecht pointed out.

“Whatever,” Rikku hissed, upset. “Can we just drop it?” Honestly, she just didn’t like dwelling on the thought of Auron trying to kill her father any more than necessary – which meant _at all_.

“Yes, well. The Cloister of Trials should be this way,” Braska said, leading them towards some steps hewn into the wall at the far end of the room.

“Yo, where’re the guard dogs?” Jecht asked.

“There are no warrior-monks stationed here,” Auron answered. “The blind trust of the faithful keeps the southern temples safe enough in the eyes of the Church.”

“But… y’know… what if Sin attacks here?” Jecht prodded.

“The Chamber of the Fayth is hidden deep within this mountain. The devastation would only affect the living.” Auron grimaced. “Civilian casualties would be considered an acceptable level of collateral damage.”

An uncomfortable silence fell. No one seemed to be willing to inform Jecht that Kilika was as famous for its periodic destruction by Sin as it was for its temple. Judging by the look on his face, he still got the message.

“So it’s like that, huh?”

Braska coughed and strode forward. “Not for me.”

Jecht quirked his lips in grim amusement. “Well. Won’t be no casualties if we wreck Sin first, right?” He stalked after Braska, leaving Rikku and Auron to bring up the rear.

“Think this will be hard?” Rikku asked as they approached the stone elevator embedded in the floor.

“After everything we’ve been through?” Auron snorted. “Not likely.”

Jecht let out a triumphant hoot. “Are you kiddin’ me? This’ll be a piece of cake! Team BARJ is finally back in action!”

Rikku’s own groan was matched by Auron and Braska’s, their aversion to Jecht’s pet name obvious. The not-quite-dulcet sound of their collective exasperation ended, and seconds later, she had to stifle the involuntary giggle bubbling in her throat. The line chiselled between Auron’s brows softened, and even Braska smiled a little.

_I guess we still do have something in common after all. Good job, Jecht._

With the tension drained, they managed to situate themselves comfortably around the circle. A rune on the floor lit and the rock shifted, carrying them deeper into the mountain.

She couldn’t help feeling nervous; some part of her knew the Temple couldn’t possibly be overrun by the evil spirits Shuyin’s hatred had awakened, but it was hard to shake the dread she’d felt when facing Ifrit’s dark, malice-filled form with Yuna and Paine.

  
_That’s all in the past_ , she told herself firmly. _Or, the future, I guess. Ugh!_

The elevator touched the bottom with a rattle that jarred her from her musings. All the noise from above disappeared, leaving them in silence.

“At least this one ain’t dark,” Jecht observed.

Stepping into the Cloister, he prodded a sphere set into a pedestal in front of them. Every touch sent a spurt of fire into the air. “And them flames don’t hurt.” He grabbed the sphere and tossed it from hand to hand, trailing arcs of fire.

“You know, I’m feeling a little underwhelmed.” Rikku crossed her arms as Jecht threw the sphere a few more times before fitting it into the only other slot by the door. Red runes lit up along the frame.

“I suppose the lack of funding reveals itself in more ways than one,” Braska noted as stone grated against itself, revealing an opening.

“Let’s get this over with,” Auron said as he passed through the entrance and surveyed the area. “It’s safe.”

They filed into a dim-lit room containing nothing but a pillar holding another sphere and a few empty sockets in the surrounding walls.

Jecht grabbed the sphere and eyed his choices. Shrugging, he shoved it into the socket nearest to him. A complicated glyph lit up, floating in front of the wall, blocking passage to a hidden door. After a few tense moments of expectation, nothing else happened and everyone deflated.

“This has all of the makings of another logic puzzle,” Auron observed, reaching for the door. His hand was repelled by the warding magic of the glyph.

“A moment,” Braska said, stepping forward and pushing Auron aside. He examined the glyph, but whatever he found soon caused his earnest expression to slide into fleeting look of annoyance. “Du ramm fedr drec.”

Rikku’s eyes bugged. _Did he just –_

Braska tapped his staff against the glyph, whispering. With a tiny explosion, the magic dispelled. His spell also affected the sphere powering the rune, extinguishing its magical flame with a discordant _plink_. The temple’s interior lighting deactivated simultaneously, cloaking them in darkness.

Jecht was the first to react. “Uh… I think you just broke the temple. You even allowed to open doors like that? Ain’t it cheatin’ ?”

Braska pushed the door, which swung open obligingly, letting a sliver of light into the room from the passage beyond. “I have had enough trials for my lifetime. Let us move on.”

Rikku glanced over her shoulder; Auron was palming his face again and muttering. With a heavy sigh, he shouldered past Braska and took point. “I expected you to have more of a delicate touch, _my lord_.”

“I’ve recently come to learn that diplomacy can only get one so far,” Braska sniped back, trailing after him.

Rikku tripped forward when Jecht nudged her less-than-gently. “Think the temple’s gonna survive those two?”

“I don’t even know if _I_ will.”

The remainder of the trial passed quickly and, in Rikku’s opinion, violently – mostly because Braska and Auron seemed to be racing to decide who could dismantle the Trial’s puzzles first – usually by the judicious application of brute force, whether magical or physical. Jecht hung behind Rikku, opting to stay out of the way of the two competing men.

The contest was broken only briefly by the discovery of a destruction sphere; there was a moment of awkwardness when Braska spotted it.

“My lord,” Auron hedged as he removed it from the wall. “This – ”

“There’s no need. I know what that is,” Braska replied with a look of distaste.

Rikku stepped in, eying the sphere with a barely-contained shudder. It wasn’t easy to ignore that pink glow when it brought to mind the memory of Anima’s deadlier half. “It’s a part of the hidden Cloister we discovered in Baaj. Braska already collected that aeon.” She couldn’t stop herself from glancing at Braska, hoping he wouldn’t share the finer details of their encounter.

He gave her a steady look, then turned to Auron. “Do what you wish with it. This particular corruption hiding within the Church is no longer a concern of mine.”

Rikku’s fists uncurled as the tension leaked out of her. Some things Auron really didn’t need to know; if he heard about the true extent of her injuries, it would probably make the havoc he was wreaking in the Cloister look _tame_.

“So... you two busted up this temple pretty good,” Jecht noted, pointing at the smoking trail of destruction they’d left behind. “You sure we ain’t gonna get in trouble for this?”

Auron shrugged, slotting the sickly pink sphere into every wall socket they passed, removing it when nothing happened. “You’d be surprised at the amount of forgiveness money can buy. Besides, Bevelle will be forced to send a restoration team to Kilika once they hear of what we’ve done here.”

Rikku sniggered. “Oh c’mon, admit it. You just wanted to smash things up, right?”

“Hnn,” Auron replied neutrally, though he didn’t deny it. He stepped back as the last socket he tried pulsed with sudden power, imploding with a loud bang.

Jecht still looked uncertain. “We really got enough dough to cover _this_?”

“Yes,” Auron replied, sounding almost bored as he stepped over the rubble. A chest was pushed up against the wall, and he made short work of opening it.

“What’s in it this time?” Rikku demanded impatiently.

“A better staff?” Braska asked with a note of hope. “It would be a sign from Yevon…”

“A new blitzball,” Jecht corrected him with a gleam in his eye. “You said it yerself, this Ohalland guy was a blitzer!”

Everyone leaned forward eagerly as Auron stood up. Then the men’s faces fell as he held up the treasure.

“It’s… a dirty mirror.” He turned the dull, strangely shaped object over in his hands once. “Inscribed with flowers.” He swiped the surface of the mirror with his coat a few times and frowned. “Damaged beyond repair.”

“We went through all that for a piece o’ trash?” Jecht groaned, throwing his arms up.

Auron shrugged and moved to put the mirror back in the chest. “One man’s trash…”

Rikku rushed forward and snatched it out of his hands. “Is another girl’s treasure!” she said, cradling it. She held up the mirror with a smile, even though the surface reflected nothing but dark smudges of dirt. “This is better than a new blitzball, Jecht. Think of all the things you could do with it! You know… like your hair!”

“Hell no. You have just as many bad hair days as I do, you ain’t one to talk me into usin’ no mirror.” Jecht crossed his arms and smirked. “ ‘Sides, I make bed hair look _good_. Take a lesson, sweetheart.”

“Ha ha.” Rikku resisted the urge to chuck the mirror at Jecht’s head. “I’ll just let you keep thinking that, okay?” Jecht sucked in some air for an objection, but she flapped her hand at him impatiently. “No, seriously! This mirror’s a part of the ritual to wake up your Celestial Weapon. I recognized it from when I got my Godhand. Of course, since you don’t want it, maybe I _will_ keep it instead,” she drawled.

“May I have a closer look at that?” Braska asked, interested. Once she’d passed it over, he frowned, wiping at the surface with no more luck than Auron had. “I’ve read the legends of the Celestial Mirror. This hardly seems to be ‘shining jewel of the heavens’ that was described in the holy texts.”

“You have to clean it first,” Rikku explained. “In Macalania. ...with memory water.”

“Memory water?” Auron said sharply. “That’s suicide.”

“There’s a shrine, at least I think there’s still a shrine! So you don’t have to go diving to get it. But it has to be the wielder,” Rikku added, turning to Jecht. “Every change that happens to your weapon has to come out of you. No one else can do it for you.”

“So you pour a little magic water over the thing and bam! You’re done. What’s the big deal?”

Auron levelled Jecht under an exasperated look. “What really happens?” he asked Rikku, curious.

“Well, it’s a test, see, a way to bond with your Weapon. You make it come alive because it’s a _part of you_.” Rikku sighed. “You see things. And hear things. That’s what memory water _does_.” Absently, her hand strayed over the Godhand, still attached to her wrist like a second skin. “I think it’s different for everybody, but it’s never easy.”

“Sounds like fun,” Jecht grumbled, his eagerness dispersing. “Thanks for enlightenin’ me.”

“Try not to let it weigh on your mind,” Braska told him. “It will be some time before we need to pass through Macalania once more, so this trial need not concern you before then.”

“So ya mean I get to have pre-game jitters for as long as we’re stuck out here in the sticks collectin’ aeons. Great, no pressure, right?” Jecht shook his head when Braska offered him the mirror. “I’m gonna try to forget that thing even exists for now. Remind me ‘bout it if we hit Macalania again.”

“Sorry!” Rikku mouthed with a wince as Jecht stomped out of the tiny alcove.

**.x.x.x.**

The Antechamber of the Fayth was similar to the others they’d visited before – long, filled with the deep tenor notes of Ifrit’s Hymn, and otherwise pretty boring.

Although boring could be _nice_ , Rikku corrected herself as she lounged on the floor. As long as the Fayth was still singing, no murderous aeons were about to materialize in the room to try to slay them all. That was always a good thing. Lifting her chin out of her palm, Rikku glanced around the room at the others, wondering if she should bother trying to start up a conversation.

Jecht had his pinkie finger stuck in one ear. He pulled it out, made a face, and flicked it towards one of the ornately decorated walls.

Rikku redirected her hopes at Auron. He had propped himself against the wall, sword held in front of him, with his head bowed in meditation. Even now, while his summoner wasn’t in the room, he was guarding the door. She’d never seen anyone who so completely dedicated himself to the single-minded duty of protecting others from danger.

Auron’s head bobbed forward with a soft snore.

Or he was just really, really tired. _Payback time_. She grinned and began to creep towards him, but was stopped by a soft cough from Jecht. Looking over her shoulder, she gave him an impatient glare that clearly read, _What?_

“Didn’tcha hear a word I said before? Auron nearly lost his mind worryin’ ‘bout you two while you were gone,” Jecht whispered. “Let the man sleep.”

Rikku sunk back down, flushing. It was pretty bad when Jecht was the one handing out the disapproving looks. _Guess I have to entertain myself._ With a sigh, Rikku decided to resort to tinkering. She dug into her pouches, searching for her tooling knife, but froze when her fingers brushed the edges of a familiar sphere.

Gingerly, she lifted her modified sphere out of the pouch and stared at it. Part of her was amazed it had survived at all – _she_ hadn’t, after Anima’s attack. Then again, Anima had been aiming at her _face_ , not her inventory.

The sphere looked a little rough around the edges, but was otherwise intact. Placing the recorder on the floor, she carefully pried it open. The lightning marble was almost burnt out, and it took only a moment’s effort to strip it away. Then she stared at the open sphere, thinking.

“What’s that?” Jecht murmured.

“Something I made in Baaj,” Rikku said, mindful of Auron’s slumber. “We needed a light source and this was all I had.” _And it accidentally trapped a whole bunch of completely incriminating and embarrassing information on it._ She was tempted to spill the precious water within, scattering the memories it contained.

“You’re pretty handsy!” Jecht told her with a smile, and Rikku almost knocked the sphere over right there as she jumped.

“ _What did you just say?_ ” she whispered back, glancing at Auron to make sure he was still asleep.

Jecht peered at her like she’d grown a second head. “I said you’re pretty handy. Boy, are you touchy today. What’s twistin’ your panties this time?”

  
_Not helping, Jecht!_ Patting her cheeks to reduce their burn into something less incriminating, Rikku shook her head. “Sorry, I misheard you,” she managed to choke out. “Just… ignore me while I try to fix this thing,” she mumbled, masking her face behind her hair. She heard Jecht’s snort as she refocused on the disassembled sphere.

  
_I really should just throw this thing away. Or at least erase it._ Despite her thoughts, her fingers were already reassembling the sphere. It lit up with the usual soft light when she switched it on, no worse for the wear from her modifications. Heart pounding, Rikku powered it down before any of the content could play. Then her finger hovered over the control that would purge the sphere of its contents.

  
_Auron would kill Braska if he found this_ , Rikku thought. _Braska would kill me first if he knew I still had this. Well. Hurt me really bad. Or look at me disapprovingly. Or… just try to kiss me again._

That stray thought struck a nerve that stayed her hand. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep the evidence of Braska’s attraction to her after all the grief they’d caused, but there was more than just his moment of physical weakness recorded onto the sphere. It was also his confession to himself. He had, in a sense, granted her permission to see the rawest depths of his heart, of the doubts and the anguish that drove him to try so hard to be so _kind_ and _perfect_ around others.

Braska had finally chosen to reveal his true face to her; it felt somewhat wrong to destroy the evidence of his change.

Well. _Most_ of the evidence, Rikku amended, adjusting the playback to purge the sphere’s more salacious content. As Auron himself had said, sometimes it was better to leave people in the dark.

She jumped at the sound of the Chamber’s doors sliding apart; Braska stumbled through, looking tired. Auron jerked out of his stupor and stood to attention.

“I was successful,” Braska said. “We can stay in Kilika tonight, I will summon there.”

“Alright!” Jecht sprung to his feet. “That was the fastest I’ve ever seen ya do it, too! You must be getting better at this!”

Braska gave Jecht a thankful smile, and then looked at Rikku, who was still kneeling on the floor and cleaning up her supplies. He caught sight of the sphere and lifted an eyebrow.

Rikku ducked her head. “Congratulations,” she managed to say, scooping the rest of her belongings into her pouches.

“Let’s return to the village,” Braska told them, sounding weary. “I think I would like to move on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // Du ramm fedr drec. = To hell with this.


	44. The Second Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe this is the only place where you can find this chapter completely uncensored, whether for mature content or song lyrics? Hoops, hoops, gotta jump through those hoops...

Rikku wandered through the busy village, trying to avoid bumping into other people.  It buzzed with activity; villagers scurried back and forth like colorful jungle birds flitting about their treetops.

The jingle of coin was a comforting sound in her ears; after returning from the temple, Auron had relented and gave them each some shopping money.  As she searched the marketplace, Rikku passed Jecht – chatting with a blitzball peddler, of course – and Braska, who seemed to be bemoaning the state of his footwear with a cobbler.

_ I’m a little surprised Auron let those two have any money at all, considering how grumpy he’s been. _  Then she winced.  She wasn’t exactly in a position to complain, being partially to blame for Auron’s foul mood.

Before long, she arrived at a stall that looked promising, judging from the swathes of colorful cloth draped about.  She spent a few moments eying the pretty fabrics wistfully, then approached the vendor with a gleam in her eye.  One short round of haggling later, Rikku left the stall feeling satisfied.  Packing the needle, thread, and shears away for later use, she sought out the others.  Auron was nowhere to be seen, so she stopped a passing woman.

“Excuse me, but have you seen a big guy in a red coat around anywhere?  He’s got long black hair, a really huge sword, and he looks kinda mean.”

The woman’s expression brightened.  “Oh, you mean that visiting Guardian?  Yes, he’s helping us with some security for the festival tonight.”

“Thanks,” Rikku said, distracted.   _ Festival?  What festival?  And what kind of problem would demand Auron’s attention in Kilika, of all places? _

The “security issue” became clearer as she noticed the activity surrounding the skeleton of a large, unlit bonfire, set up in the center of a wide clearing near the jungle’s edge.  A vendor’s stall already had food prepared, sending the pungent scent of smoked fish into the air.  There was even a raised platform doubling as a makeshift stage.  One eager villager was encouraging the rest of the workers with a lively beat he thumped out on his hand drum.

_ Hmm, looks like they’re getting ready for a party. _  She grinned, spotting Jecht near the edge of the stage.  He was showing off with his new blitzball to the beat of the drums, gathering a few spectators.   _ Hamming it up already _ , she thought with a laugh.

Jecht bounced the blitzball on his head, then sent it to his knees.  He began juggling it with his feet quickly enough to make it look as though the ball was bobbing in midair.  A few of the viewers – fellow Blitzball players, by the look of their clothing – were nodding in appreciation.  Jecht caught and balanced the ball on his forehead, swinging his arms and legs out in a few dance moves as the drummer whistled encouragement.  Mid-spin, Jecht waved at Rikku.

“So, what’s the show for?” she called, gesturing at the stage and the enormous stack of wood.

Jecht tossed his head and bent forward, catching the ball on his back.  He rolled it between his shoulderblades, the crowd clapping as he kept dancing.  “News from Luca!  The home team made it to the quarter finals!” 

“Beasts!  Beasts!” the crowd cheered.

“Well, okay, that explains some of this, but  _ we _ didn’t play for the Beasts,” Rikku reminded.

“Not a problem,” Jecht said, straightening and sending the ball spinning into the crook of one bent foot.  “The Fangs made it in, too.”  He lobbed the ball high and caught it on his chest, then smoothly circled it along both of his arms.

“I can do that,” one boy pouted, invoking laughter from the others.  Rikku did a double-take as she observed the teenager; he looked suspiciously like Barthello, although younger and still missing most of his bulk.  The squinty-eyed pout was  _ exactly _ the same, though.

“Give it a try, then.”  Completing one last roll, Jecht tossed the ball.  It hit the kid in the chest, and he promptly lost his balance.  More laughter ensued as the kid quickly stood back up with little else than his pride bruised.  Jecht waved to his audience, then climbed down from the stage.  Rikku watched a juggling game start up behind him as he joined her.

“Didn’t you just buy that blitzball?” she noted. 

Jecht shrugged.  “The kids are enjoyin’ themselves.  ‘Sides, it’s not like Auron’s gonna let us stop and catch a game somewhere down the line.  Might as well get used by somebody.”  Then he frowned.  “You’re right though.  I shoulda signed it first.”

She rolled her eyes.  “You make up one original goal shot and you think you’re hot stuff.”

“ ‘ey!  Didn’tcha just see that performance?”  He gestured towards the stage, where one of the young blitzers was trying to replicate Jecht’s footwork – unsuccessfully.  Jecht smirked at her.  “I told ya,  _ I’m _ the best.”

“Mm-mmm,” Rikku said, sticking her nose into the sky.  “I know somebody better.”

“Now, wait just a minute here.  There ain’t nobody who can blitz better than me!  Have you ever heard of an  _ Ohalland Shot _ ?  No?  Didn’t think so.”

Rikku crossed her arms over her head.  “I know someone who made up  _ two _ new shots.”

“You ain’t makin’ this up, are ya?”  Jecht stopped.   “Who’re ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Well…” she drawled, before relenting at the look of curiosity on Jecht’s face.  “It was your chip off the old block, actually.” 

“Really?”

“He invented the Sphere Shot and the Mark Two.”  She smiled, remembering all of the games Tidus had dragged Wakka out of retirement for.  “Not that the Mark Two and Three aren’t impressive, but a Sphere Shot is something anyone can learn and use.  Tidus changed the game for everybody.”

“He did, huh?”  A thoughtful smile crept onto Jecht’s face.    “There ain’t no  _ real _ Mark Two, yanno.  The whole Mark Three thing was just a crowd pull.  He really made up a move and named it after me?”

“Yeah.  Said he was tired of covering your butt on the Mark Three’s empty promises, so he filled that hole by himself.”

Jecht blinked and looked away, obviously overcome by some emotion despite the snark.  Then his brow wrinkled.  “It ain’t better than the Mark Three, is it?”

“It’s slower.”  She noticed Jecht preening and smirked.  “Because it takes out  _ three _ defenders.”  Jecht frowned.  “He also called it the  _ In Your Face, Old Man _ shot at first,” she added.

Jecht snorted.  “Did he ever recruit any Hypellos?”

“Well, no…”

“See?   _ Still _ the greatest!”  Jecht laughed.  “That’s my boy,” he said with a clear note of pride in his voice.  “One day he’ll catch up.”

“You seem to be taking things pretty well,” she observed with a smile, which soon faltered.  “Better than I am right now, at least.”

“I got my ways.  Talkin’ to you ‘bout Tidus means he made it here, or you made it there, right?  Either way, I musta figured it all out, so why worry?”  He slapped her on the back.  “You will too, soon as Auron an’ Braska pull their heads outta their asses.”

“Huh,” she said, slightly bolstered by his optimism.   _ Did Jecht grow up while I wasn’t looking?  _

“Jecht!  Rikku!”  Braska approached, staff in hand.  He smiled, but only glanced at them, searching for something over their shoulders.  “Have you seen Auron?”

“Nope,” Jecht answered.  “Last I heard, they wanted him in the forest for somethin’. ”

Rikku also shook her head  “I just got back from shopping.  I was looking for you guys.”

“I see.”  Some of Braska’s excitement seemed to dissipate.  “It will be getting dark soon, and the villagers have asked me to light the bonfire.  I suppose I cannot delay any longer, even to wait for him.”

“You gonna summon your new pet now, B?”

“Mm,” he hummed, readying his staff.

“They’re not pets,” Rikku grumbled, pulling Jecht out of Braska’s way so he could begin his dance.  Braska’s staff burst into trails of flames as he spun it, and then he struck the ground.  A ring of fire raced from the impact, and an ominous rumble filled the clearing.  All around, villagers slowed down to watch as the summoner fell into Rapture.

“Whoa!”

The ground shook, and everyone struggled to keep their balance.  With a loud crack, four large horns broke through the earth.  A snarling, shaggy head followed it, and the aeon roared as it burst out, spraying rubble everywhere.  Ifrit landed on his massive forearms with a grunt, snorting warm blasts of steam.  Then he looked around and caught sight of Jecht and Rikku.

“Why’s it comin’ this way?”  The note of awe in Jecht’s voice was tinged with wariness.  “Aeons attackin’ people who summon them ain’t… a normal thing, right?  Or is that your specialty now?”

Ifrit stopped before them and ducked his head, bringing one glowing eye level with Rikku’s face.  He stared at her for a moment, then let out a loud whuff of hot air that blew her braids back.     
  


“Aeh-heh-heh,” she said, trying not to make any sudden movements.  She’d never really noticed before, but up close, Ifrit’s claws were  _ gigantic _ .  Just one of his fingers was nearly the length of her upper body.   “I think he’s friendly.  Right?”

In response, Ifrit ground his massive palm into the top of Jecht’s head.

“Ahh!  Hot!  Hot!  Get it off!” Jecht yelled, batting the aeon away.

Rikku choked back a laugh as Ifrit released him; faint wisps of steam curled off of the ends of Jecht’s hair.  “I  _ think _ he just gave you a noogie.  Maybe he likes you!”

“The ice bitch won’t gimmie the time o’ day, but the flamin’ dog… gorilla…  _ thing _ wants me to go bald?  You gotta be kiddin’,” Jecht groused, patting his head.

“It could be worse,” she told him.  “He might have licked you.”

Ifrit grinned, baring rows of razor-sharp teeth.  A literal tongue of flame flicked out of his mouth.

“Down boy,” Jecht said, taking a quick step backwards.

Ifrit huffed again before turning to face the bonfire.  He inhaled, his massive chest expanding, slammed his forearms into the ground, and belched a stream of fire at the huge pile of wood the villagers had prepared.  It exploded into flame with a bang, and all around, people cheered.  Shaking his shaggy mane, Ifrit rumbled and leapt into the air.  His body wavered and dispersed into pyreflies before he hit the ground.

“Nice show,” Rikku said when Braska blinked back into awareness.

He smiled, waving a hand at a few of the clapping villagers.  “I aim to please.”  Then he looked around again.  “We should find Auron.  It will be difficult to make plans once the festivities begin.”  His expression brightened as he spotted the other man approaching them.  “Ah, there he is.”

“My lord,” Auron said, jogging toward them.  He glanced at the fire and gave Braska a curt nod.  “Things went smoothly with the new aeon?”

“Ifrit was much more cooperative than the last one,” Braska answered.

“Ya missed out on bein’ a part of that thing’s pettin’ zoo,” Jecht complained.  “Where were ya hidin’ anyway?”

“Yeah, you never miss Braska’s summonings!”   _ Well, beside Baaj.  Obviously. _

Auron spared her a glance, but didn’t respond.

Rikku chewed her lip.   _ Of course he’s still ticked off.  We really messed up.  _

“The celebration tonight is going to be a lively one,” Auron said, raising an eyebrow.  “You’ve heard the news?”   
  


Jecht pumped his fist.  

“I helped the village guards establish a perimeter and set up our lodgings for the evening.  We’ll be staying at the Seaside Inn, on the lower floor.  You each have your own room and I’ve stored our things there for the time being.  You’ll know which room is yours by your belongings.”  He paused.  “Even  _ you  _ should be able to find it, Jecht.  There’s only one inn in this village.”

“Figured,” Jecht answered, unruffled.  “This place is a two-mosquito town.  Don’t think we could get lost if we tried.”  His annoyance transformed into anticipation.  “So… that mean we’re free to party like there’s no tomorrow?”

A slight smile crossed Auron’s face.  “Well… yes.  Just don’t get drunk.  We’re still leaving for Besaid in the morning.”

Jecht scoffed.  “I don’t drink no more.  But that don’t mean I forgot how to live it up,” he added.  “Who’s with me for a dance-off?”

Braska laughed.  “Hardly!  I think I’ll pass.”

“I don’t dance,” Auron said with finality.

“Blondie, you’re my only hope!”

“No way,” Rikku said, warding off Jecht’s pleading look.  “I just saw your moves  _ while _ you were balancing a blitzball on your back.  I’m not going up against that!”  She clucked her tongue and pointed at him with a melodramatic wink.  “ _ You’re the best _ !”

“Damn.”  Jecht rubbed the back of his head with a sour look.  “You guys really know how to kill the mood before it even starts.”

“I’m sure you’ll find others who share your enthusiasm,” Braska said.  He gestured around them; with the fire going and twilight descending, the rest of the villagers were steadily streaming in, livening up the atmosphere.  “Although, I don’t think the musical entertainment will be starting until later this evening, so you may have to wait to find a partner.”

Jecht snorted and crossed his arms.  “Why should I wait?  We got our own walkin’ music box right here, don’t we?”

Rikku glared and mirrored his pose.  “Say that again?  I dare you.  No, I’ll have Braska  _ double-gorilla-dog _ dare you.”

Braska sighed.  “Rikku, aeons are not meant to settle personal grievances…”

“And my belt isn’t for personal entertainment!” she shot back.  “This thing is  _ a weapon! _  I’m not gonna use it to give another concert just because Jecht wants a  _ dance-off! _ ”

“Actually...” Braska began.

Rikku’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Not you, too?” she whined.

“I admit to some  _ personal  _ curiosity,” Braska assured her.  “It’s the only dressphere that I haven’t tried yet.  It’s… quite the experience, each time.  I’d happily assist Jecht in this matter if you were willing to loan me your grid once more.”

“Hmm.”  She scratched her nose, only avoiding the instinctive jaw drop by remembering him in the Luck dressphere.  

Nothing really could top  _ that _ .  

“Well, maybe this once.  But don’t mess up the festival or anything.  The Songstress sphere  _ always _ makes magic when you use it.  If anyone can figure out how to channel that safely, though, that’d be you,” she added with a slight pout.  She reached for her belt, unclasping it, grousing about the unfairness of Braska’s latent talent with her garment grid.   _ Heck, he’s probably gonna go down in history as Spira’s greatest idol singer after this. _

“Hnn.”

Rikku looked up at the sound, belt in hand, and saw Auron glowering.  He shifted his gaze away when she caught him, but it was too late.   _ He’s jealous! _  A part of her wanted to giggle – Auron definitely wouldn’t be quite as envious if he’d seen what  _ she _ had – but a larger part of her felt guilty.  Embarrassing moments or not, it was an experience she and Braska had shared, and one he didn’t have.  

She hesitated.  “You know,” she said to Auron.  “You could try it out too, if you wanted.”

“I don’t think so,” Auron huffed.  “I’ve no desire to  _ perform _ for these people.  It is, as you said, a  _ weapon _ .”

“Nobody’s asking you to put on the Songstress sphere and give us a concert.  Shut up, Jecht,” she added without looking.

“Fine,” Jecht grumbled, closing his mouth.

“I mean… if you wanted to test it out, though,”  She eyed Auron critically.  “... not that it’s gonna fit around your waist.  But…”  Reaching out, she grabbed his arm and wrapped the belt around it a few times.

“What are you doing?”  Auron attempted a half-hearted escape, but Rikku closed the clasp around his forearm.  He inhaled sharply.  “This is – ”

She nodded, smiling at him.  “Black magic.  That’s what you’re feeling right now.  If you think about casting an offensive spell, you can do it, up to a certain point.  How strong it is depends on your own magic power, but it’ll still fire you up,” she winked.

“I see,” Auron said, twisting his arm around.  A small, unsteady flame flickered in and out of being on his fingertips.  “Interesting.  This is more intuitive than I thought it would be.”

Rikku beamed.   _ Yes! _ _ Operation Get Auron Happy Again is underway! _   It was amazing to think that, at the beginning of the journey, he would have blasted her for using machina weaponry.  Now here he was, trying one on for himself.   _ When you get down to it, he’s just a big weapon nerd, _ she thought fondly, watching as he switched spells to coat his fingertips in a layer of ice.

“I don’t understand how you cast the final spell to defeat the sinspawn we fought on the coast,” Auron said, extinguishing the magic.  He continued to study the grid, eyes narrowed.  “I don’t feel that sort of power in here.”

“Oh, that,” she said, slipping into instructor-mode.   _ She _ was the biggest weapon nerd around, after all, according to Paine.  “It’s a chain reaction.  You have to unlock the power by activating all of the dresspheres first.  See the circuits here?”  She leaned in and pointed to the pathways connecting her dresspheres.

“So, no concert then,” Jecht complained behind them, sounding bored.  “Great, thanks, just checkin’...”

Auron ignored him.  “I think I understand.  The nodes connect to the dresspheres.”  He frowned.  “There’s something strange about this one, though.”  The sphere he was prodding pulsed.

“Oh, that’s the…  _ Lenne, wait a minute _ – !”

Things really  _ had _ been going too smoothly.

A swirl of light burst under Auron’s feet, and he stepped back with a look of surprise.  “What – ” he managed before the light washed over him.

“Uh,” Jecht choked.  “Think you better start runnin’?”

Auron reached upward and pulled a guitar out of the air, swinging it over his hips.  He examined himself, scowling in a way that would have put even Paine to shame.   “I don’t think I like this.”  

He was dressed from head to toe in black; his long hair was still slicked back into its ponytail, and somehow, his sunglasses had made a reappearance.  That was where the similarities ended.  The ripped, formfitting shirt he was wearing was blazoned with the jagged logo of another band, and thick leather straps, studded with spiked metal, were wrapped around his wrist and throat.  He was wearing enough belts to give Lulu a run for her money, and his pants… well.  His  _ pants _ .

“... I thought you weren’t a fan of the Yocun Revivalists,” Braska said to Auron, faintly.

“You should wear that more often,” Rikku managed, unable to tear her eyes away from the skin-tight leather that really showed off  _ everything _ .  “Maybe I should tailor your real pants.”  She swallowed and forced herself to look up.

“What is going on?” Auron demanded, flinging his arm dramatically.  “I have an urge to scream.  Very loudly.”  He paused and looked down.  “And play this guitar.”

“Uh,” Rikku said, trying to collect her scrambled thoughts.  “The Songstress sphere accidentally got activated somehow.”  _  Accidental Auron’s ass, Lenne! _  “So, uh, it puts you in a new outfit, and gives you the ability to pants…”  She slapped herself.  “I mean  _ dance _ , dance, make magic with the dancing.  In the pants.”

Jecht cocked his head.  “Do those even count as pants?”

“Just tell me how to stop it,” Auron demanded, stepping forward with one steel-toed boot.  A chime sounded.

“Too late,” Rikku squeaked.

“Augh!” Auron yelled, rather melodically.

“Well, you do have better pitch than the Revivalists,” Braska told Auron with a twinkle in his eye.  “Maybe you should see this through?”

“How exactly am I supposed to  _ see this through _ ?” Auron bit out, stomping his foot.  Another chime sounded and a runic pattern flickered to life under his feet.  It was beginning to draw the attention of the bystanders, who were forming a ring around them.

“Is he a rock star?” a young girl asked, her eyes lighting up as her gaze lingered on Auron’s pants.

Rikku shoved herself in front of the girl –  _ Dona _ ,  _ of course _ , she thought with a scowl – and flapped her hands at Auron.  “Just do something!  You can’t keep standing and pooling the magic or there’ll probably be a backlash!”

“Do what?” Auron growled.  “ _ I don’t dance! _ ”

“Well if you’re not gonna dance, then you’re gonna have to sing.”  She eyed the irregularly glowing pattern with increasing worry.  She’d never tried building up the Songstress sphere’s power before, but she couldn’t imagine anything good coming out of it.  Nor anything good coming out of Auron transforming into Lenne in the middle of a large crowd.  “Just… try playing that guitar and sing your feelings!”

Slowly, and with a epic glower that put all of his previous facial expressions to shame, Auron began to pluck a few chords on the guitar.  Rikku breathed a sigh of relief as the pattern he was standing on stabilized, then had another moment of panic.  Songs  _ always _ made magic.  She reached for the Godhand, remembering too late she’d left it with Auron.  

Sidling closer to Braska, she leaned in.  “Hey, maybe you should be ready to summon something.  Y’know.  Just in case.”

Braska started in surprise, but refocused his attention on Auron as the music grew in volume.

Auron was glaring at them, fingers clenched around the neck of his guitar.  He opened his mouth, but instead of angry words, he started singing.  “ _ Love me forever, or not at all.  End of our tether, backs to the wall! _ ”  Braska was right; Auron did have pretty good pitch, even if it sounded like he was dragging his voice over rough sandpaper. 

_...but he’s not half bad.  Actually, he sounds pretty good _ , she revised.  Although he’d probably sound  _ better _ if the words weren’t so furious.

He strummed his guitar, eyes boring into Rikku.  “ _ Give me your hand, don't you ever ask why.  Promise me nothing, live 'till we  _ **_die_ ** _! _ ”  He broke eye contact, looking down and stomping his foot.  The magic exploded, harsh and angry, breaking in shockwaves over the crowd and making people stumble.  An angry Auron was powerful, no matter what weapon he was using.

“ _ Everything changes, it all stays the same!  Everyone guilty, no one to blame! _ ”  His face contorted as he sang.  “ _ Every way out brings you back to the start.  Everyone dies to break somebody's heart! _ ”

His fingers flew over the strings of his guitar, freezing the crowd in place.  The chords were fierce and loud, and people began to sway uneasily.  Rikku still wasn’t sure what spell he was casting, but it didn’t feel  _ good _ .

“ _ One of another, laugh ‘til you cry, _ ” Auron continued, his voice harsh.  “ _ Faith unto death, or a knife in your eye! _ ” 

His frenzied guitar riff reflected the internal rage and turmoil he’d pumped into his song.  “ _ You know love’s a thief, steal your heart in the night.  Slip through your fingers, best hold on tight! _ ”

Rikku swallowed as she finally understood  _ she _ was to blame for his spell.   _ This is what I did to him _ , she realized as the clearing grew murky in an unnatural darkness.  Even the light of the huge bonfire seemed to dim.  He was making his guitar wail in a way that his voice never would, spreading his turmoil to everyone listening.  

She looked at Jecht, who was kneeling and staring at the ground with a hard look in his eye, far away from the present.  At her side, Braska fared no better, his eyes closed as sweat beaded across his brow.

_ Stop _ , she thought, but the weight of the song made her legs want to fold under her and she couldn’t gather the energy to raise her voice.  It almost felt like gravity magic, but it tugged at her  _ soul _ instead of her body.

As Auron continued to sing, Rikku felt the magic taking hold of his anger and lashing out like hammers bludgeoning the crowd.  She forced herself to look at him, meeting his gaze and seeing the  frustration and despair obvious on his face.  But he sang one final line at her, filled with something more than fury.  “ _ Oh, my love’s heart, come back to me! _ ”

His hands stopped moving, allowing the reverberation to die out into the now-silent night.  The unnatural darkness lifted, and people began to shift and look around in confusion.

Rikku’s mind cleared when the last notes ended; she heard Braska chanting, sending a powerful wave of Esuna magic into the crowd.  Ignoring them, she rushed to Auron’s side and deactivated the grid.

A soft breeze passed over her as the swirl of light surrounded Auron, releasing him from the dressphere.  

Jecht came to his feet, shaking his head.  “Well, that love song made me feel like shit.  Great job, Auron.”

“I’m not sure what it did or if I countered it effectively,” Braska told them, looking at the subdued crowd that was beginning to disperse.  Many were making their way back towards the village; the joy and life seemed to have been sucked out of the air itself.  The faces that passed them were angry, worried, and upset.  One woman even slapped her partner.

Rikku winced; her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her temper was frayed.  Pushing down her growing feeling of guilt, she turned on Auron.  “Look at what you did to these people!” she hissed.  “They came here for a party, not to get their souls crushed!  We need to fix this!”

Auron was unwrapping the belt from his forearm with a look of disgust.  “Never again,” he muttered.  “I regret even  _ asking _ about it.”  He shoved it back into Rikku’s hands, the look on his face a mixture of humiliation and building anger.  “You wanted to know my  _ feelings _ ?  Now  _ everyone _ does!”

Rikku drew back, hurt.  “I didn’t mean to – ” 

Auron cut her off.  “This was just one more mistake in a countless string of them!”  He palmed his face, exhaling loudly.  When he next spoke, his words came out calm and flat.  “No.  This wasn’t your fault, it was mine.  But it  _ is _ a sign of how incompatible we really are.”

_ No.  No, no, no,  _ **_no_ ** _! _ _ I’m not letting it end like this! _  “We aren’t incompatible!  So maybe this was a bad idea, but ending  _ us _ ?  That’s just the magic talking!”  She lifted her hand, thinking to catch Auron, who had turned away from her.  The belt still dangled from her fingertips, and a sudden flash of fury overwhelmed her.   _ It’s all because of this thing  _ – _ ! _

Jecht caught her arm on the downswing, snatching the garment grid away before she could smash it into the ground.

“You ain’t thinkin’ right,” he told her.  Then he scampered onto the stage.

“What is he – “ Auron began.

Rikku groaned, not wanting to watch the inevitable disaster.

Jecht raised his voice, addressing the rest of them.  “So, that sucked, but this is  _ still _ the greatest idea ever!” he yelled, snapping the garment grid in place around his wrist.  The crowd milled about the stage restlessly, still plagued by an almost tangible cloud of depression and irritation.  “It’s  _ my _ turn now!”

Braska made an abortive noise of dismay as Jecht activated one of the nodes on the dressphere and was surrounded by light.

When it faded, Rikku peeked through her fingers.  “...Jecht?”

His overalls had lengthened into pants, though he was still shirtless.  Even the patterns on his clothing remained the same, though now his trousers were of the same orange dye as his former sash, and his arm guard was completely missing.  “Huh.  Don’t feel too different,” Jecht mused.  Then he looked down at her with a wide grin.  “Yeah?”

“Which dressphere is that?” Braska asked, also confused.  “You do not look much…  _ changed _ .  Did you activate your own sphere?”

A rotating pattern lit up underneath Jecht’s feet as he laughed.  “Now why would I do that?  I’m tellin’ ya, you don’t see a difference ‘cause I  _ already am _ a superstar!”  Jecht reached and pulled down the microphone that materialized over his head.

“Yevon help us,” Auron muttered, turning as if he was going to bolt.

Rikku clamped down on his arm.  “Nope, you said we’re a  _ team _ .  That means we face things together,” she grit out.

Auron shook her hand off.  “You’re the one who wanted your space earlier.”  It was too late for him to escape, though; magical notes had already started chiming.

Jecht continued to build the music, deftly moving across the stage. “That’s the problem with all you people.  Always caught up in your own love lives, singin’ out your boo hoos to each other.  You gotta look at the bigger picture!”  He stomped, freezing everyone in place with two strong chords and capturing the attention of the depressed villagers. 

“ _ This ain’t a song for the broken-hearted! _ ” he belted out.  “ _ No silent prayer for the faith-departed! _ ”  His loud words arrested the drifting crowd.  Even Rikku felt the pull of magic, giving Jecht her full attention.

“ _ I ain’t gonna be just a face in the crowd!  You’re gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud! _ ” He stomped again and the music  _ exploded _ , a driving beat urging them to do  _ something _ .  Rikku twitched.

“ _ It’s my life!  It’s now or never!  I ain’t gonna live forever! _ ”

Rikku opened her mouth to ask what Jecht was doing, but instead, song burst forth.  “ _ It’s my life! _ ”  She noticed she wasn’t the only one; a few others in the crowd sang with her as they swayed.

Jecht continued to dance, grinning.  She noted with some distraction that he was still better than most people at it; maybe having practiced on his own helped?  Then she noticed that  _ she _ was copying his moves.  And as much as she wanted to yell at him for making  _ dance magic _ , she couldn’t help the snicker that welled up as he bounced around their makeshift stage.  “ _ I just wanna live while I’m alive! _ ”

“ _ This is for the ones who stood their ground, _ ” Jecht sang to his warming audience.  “ _ For Auron and Rikku, who never backed down! _ ”  Rikku spun around with a laugh, coming to an abrupt stop when she realized she was face-to-face with Auron.

“ _ Tomorrow’s getting harder, make no mistake.  Luck ain’t even lucky, you gotta make your own breaks… _ ”  Jecht twirled his hand at them.

Auron directed a look of utter frustration towards Jecht.  He opened his mouth, likely on a reprimand, but instead sang, “ _ It’s my life!  And it’s now or never! _ ”

Jecht nodded and continued to belt his refrain, working the now-eager crowd into a fervor.  Rikku focused her attention on Auron, no longer fighting the magic that spurred her into a loose dance.

“ _ We ain’t gonna live forever _ ,” she hummed to her unwilling partner.  She trapped Auron’s waist in her arms, swaying with him.  “ _ Don’t you want to live while you’re alive? _ ”

Auron gave her a measured look, but sang along with her – and the rest of Kilika, thanks to Jecht’s spell.  “ _ It’s my life _ ,” he grumbled.

“ _ My heart is like an open highway – _ ” Rikku grinned.

“ _ Like Braska said – _ ”

“ _ I did it  _ **_my_ ** _ way, _ ” Rikku finished for him.  At least he was still dancing, though not even Jecht’s spell could make them stop arguing.  “ _ I just want to live while I’m alive _ ,” she sang.

“ _ ‘Cause it’s my life! _ ” Jecht roared.  He’d somehow managed to transform his mic into a guitar which he was playing for the cheering crowd, and the air of celebration returned with a vengeance.

Jecht was still singing, but the magic he’d poured into trapping them was beginning to fade, freeing their feet.  Auron’s swaying motion slowed down, and Rikku reluctantly stilled as well.  His hands reached for hers, tugging her away from the center of the festivities and towards the edge of the crowd.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” Auron told her, though he didn’t seem as upset as before.  Rikku wondered if it was the lingering effect of magic lightening his mood, or if he really had managed to let go of some of the inner turmoil he’d let them glimpse.

“I can’t believe he did that,” she snorted, gasping for breath when they stopped near the trees.  The music faded to a pulsing beat in the background, and she turned to face Auron with a grin.  “Are you okay?”  

“Would you believe me if I said I was fine?” Auron asked.  He choked out a rough laugh, then dropped his head.  “Look at the difference between what I wrought and what Jecht has done.”

Rikku’s smile faded.  “Jecht was just trying to do some damage control.  You were telling me how you really felt, though.”  She looked at the hand he was still holding.  “Am I really like a knife to your eye?”

Auron sighed.  “My feelings were in  _ all _ of it.  I still love you enough to hate feeling this way.”  He shook his head.  “And now I’ve made you and many innocent people suffer.”

Rikku thought about his song.  Yes, it had been angry, but he had ended it with a plea.  She was tiptoeing around Auron, waiting to see when, or even  _ if _ , his simmering anger would ever disperse.  Maybe he wasn’t just angry, though; maybe he was waiting for  _ her _ to do something, too.

She clutched his fingers like a lifeline.  “It doesn’t have to be like this, you know,” she said.  Then she darted in, not bothering to ask for permission.  Her lips crashed into his before he could pull away, and she held him in place.

He stiffened, but slowly unwound as she persisted, refusing to give up.  Finally, his arms came around her and he tilted his head, responding to her touch.  It didn’t have the magnetic pull of the kisses they’d shared before; it was filled with an emotion much more raw and desperate.

Rikku drew away first, looking up into Auron’s grim face.  She reached over and tried to smooth the furrows from his forehead.  “I’m here,” she whispered to him.  “I’m alive, and I’m not going to leave you.”

Auron cupped her face.  “I was lost without you here.”  He bent down and kissed her again, properly;  _ the way we should have on the Winno _ .  Some part of her that had been curled up in a wounded ball relaxed.  

_ Auron’s right _ .  He drew her closer, deepening the kiss.  Words would never be enough between them; it was his lips and his crushing embrace that told her how he felt; how much of his desperate anger had masked his fear.

So she did her best to reassure him, stroking her fingers across his scalp and letting him hold onto her.  They separated after a few moments, breathing heavily.  Rikku couldn’t help smiling at him.  “Even if you messed up, I  _ really _ liked those pants.”

Auron groaned.  “At least one of us did, then.”  He pulled her closer and rested his chin on her head, and Rikku tucked herself against him.  In the village, a cheer rose up as a new song started.  

Another grin spread across her face as she looked up.  “Is that his third one in a row?  Looks like Jecht is going wild,” she noted.

“Let him,” Auron replied, tightening his arms and brushing his lips against her cheek.  “It’s a time of celebration that we all need after that ordeal.”

She grinned as strains of the music spilled over them.  “Hey, this one sounds different.  Kinda makes me wanna dance!”  She swayed in Auron’s arms, waggling her eyebrows.

Auron huffed a quiet laugh at her.  “This is a celebration.   _ Our _ celebration.  Now don’t spoil it by talking about  _ Jecht _ .”  He leaned forward and recaptured her lips, and Rikku melted in his arms.

 

**.x.x.x.**

“ _ Ah, we’re drinking and we’re dancing, and the band is really happening… _ ”

Near the village fire, Jecht was having his dance-off, trading moves with a Kilikan woman to the beat of the music.  He wasn’t, however, singing; Braska smiled in satisfaction and lifted the mic to his lips to continue.

“ _ And it’s partner found, it’s partner lost, and it’s hell to pay when the fiddler stops... _ ”

He  _ was _ better than Rikku with the dressphere, his feet moving gracefully over the pattern as he sang.  “ _ Ah, we’re lonely, we’re romantic –  _ “

The strange feminine presence inside of the sphere harmonized with him, giving the spell more power – another summoner’s soul, he sensed, her time long past.  She was basking in the freedom he was weaving for her into the magic, a host vessel capable of properly broadcasting her own considerable powers.  “ _ And the summer night is fragrant with a mighty expectation of relief... _ ”

He continued the song, wondering at the sense of familiarity the other presence gave off.  No, not familiarity;  _ recognition _ .  As if the presence in the sphere knew something about  _ him _ .   _ But how would that be possible? _  Chiding himself for the brief flight of fancy, he pushed the strange thought away and focused on his dance.  As his eyes cast over the crowd, he saw Auron and Rikku, outlined by firelight against the trees on the edge of the jungle.  “ _... And I swear it happened just like this… _ ”

People whirled around him, hypnotized.  They were pictures of joy and vitality, shedding the burdens of their sorrows for a single night with the help of his magic.  Their happiness was  infectious, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the couple that had drawn away from the dance.

“ _ A sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss… _ ”  Braska watched as Auron leaned down and kissed Rikku, who responded in kind.  A pained smile passed over his face as his feet moved along the pattern, keeping the music flowing.  So they’d taken Jecht’s advice to heart and were allowing themselves to move on.  “ _ The Gates of Love, they budged an inch... _ ”

_ Sing your feelings _ , Rikku had told Auron.  “ _... I can’t say much has happened since, _ ” he sang, realizing that he, too, was broadcasting his own feelings.  “ _ And I missed you since the place got wrecked… _ ”

The sphere unlocked the truth from one’s soul and freed it, influencing the will and desires of all who heard the heart’s song.  “ _... I just don’t care what happens next.  Looks like freedom but it feels like death... _ ”  Braska tore his eyes away from the couple.   _ Sing your feelings _ , she’d said.  “ _... it’s something in between, I guess… it’s closing time. _ ”

**.x.x.x.**

When their next kiss finally ended, Rikku felt lightheaded.

“So… does this mean we’re okay again?” she breathed, trying to find her balance.

“Yes,” Auron replied unsteadily, and she was glad to see that he just as flushed and shaken as she was, for once.  “More than that,” he added lowly, taking her by the hand and leading her back towards the festival.  

It looked like the Songstress dressphere was finally being retired for the night, but the villagers had stepped up, providing their own music.  The tunes were much more primitive – powered only by the collection of drums being played by hand and one woman piping on a set of reed flutes – but that didn’t stop the eager dancers from whirling around the bonfire, shouting and yelling in a celebration of life.

“Are we gonna join the party?” Rikku called out to Auron in confusion.  He’d turned her into jelly, and now he expected her legs to work?  “I don’t know if I’m ready for that after being kissed into a pile of goo.  Besides, I thought you don’t dance!”

Auron stopped and squeezed  her hand.  “Both of us are ready to dance.”  Turning, he pulled her through the crowd.  She tripped along behind him, trying to keep up with his long strides.

Confusion blossomed into slow comprehension as he forced their way out of the clearing and towards the village.  Soon, the sounds of the party were left behind, nothing more than a low murmur competing with the gentle slap of water hitting the docks.  Their surroundings were dark and empty; the night was still young and celebrating the victory of the Kilika Beasts was a community event.   He slowed as they approached the simple hut that was designated as an inn for visitors, drawing her inside.  

“But – ” Rikku protested as he pulled her into one of the rooms and shut the curtain that doubled as a door.   Moonlight spilled in from the window, illuminating the lone futon spread across the floor.  She eyed the thatch shutters that Auron hadn’t bothered to close, letting the distant sounds of the festivities carry into the room.  “This isn’t exactly private!  And what about the others – ?”

“I rented three rooms,” Auron said, facing her.  “This one is ours.”

She blinked, then looked down as his arms circled her waist.  “Three – “  Understanding dawned, and she scowled.  “You  _ planned _ this, didn’t you?  You big meanie!  Holding back your kisses all day long, and now this?”

“And what if I did?” he asked.  His face was hidden by the long shadows of the night, but she could still see the traces of amusement lining his eyes.  “I was only returning your favor.  You made me  _ suffer _ , Rikku.”  The humor leaked out of his voice, and his arms tightened around her.  “More than you know.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, the words bubbling up unbidden.  It was a strange day, and turning into an even stranger evening – Auron was hardly being subtle, and his sudden swing from angered distance to desperate longing filled her both with anticipation and dismay.  He was supposed to be their rock.   _ I did this to him _ , she thought again, guilt gnawing at her conscience.   _ And not just what I did with Braska, either.  I taught him to care this much and then disappeared somewhere he couldn’t follow. _  She clasped her hands behind his neck, drew him in, and felt him shudder when he buried his face against her neck.  “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“Very few people ever mean to die,” Auron answered, relaxing his near-bruising grip and straightening.  “I would appreciate it if you didn’t in the foreseeable future.”

She lay her head into his chest.  “I worried about you, too,” she admitted.  “I’m going to teach you to swim in Besaid.  And no, you don’t have a say in this,” she added when he looked affronted.  “I dreamt you’d drowned.  That Sin ate you.  That Jecht tried to reach you and couldn’t make it in time.  I dreamt you died a thousand different ways and I couldn’t stop it.  I  _ hated _ it.”

Auron held her for a moment longer, soothing her with the steady rhythm of his breath.  Then he pushed her back gently.     
  
“Tonight is a celebration of life,” he said, reaching for her head.  He unwound her bandana, letting her hair hang free over her shoulders in a tangle of beads and braids.  He straightened the messy locks with his fingers, but his eyes never left her face.  “Will you join me?”

Rikku’s fingers twitched.  She felt heat rising in her cheeks, but ignored it and instead focused on undoing the buckles of his belt.  It clattered to the floor, and she pushed the red overcoat off his shoulders.  That, too, dropped to the floor with a whisper, leaving him in his pants and armored chest plate.

He leaned down and pressed a tentative, questioning kiss against her lips.  “It’s not like you to be so quiet,” he murmured.

“Words get in the way sometimes,” she answered thinking back on their time together.  Her fingers unbuckled the clasps of his armor.   _ Whenever we talk, we mess things up.  But he can’t misunderstand this, right? _  She tugged at his chestplate, and he backed away to help her remove it and then stripped off his grey linen undershirt.

Rikku inhaled sharply.  She’d known Auron was strong; it was obvious, given the size of the sword he carried around and the definition in his arms.  But this…

He bent in the moonlight, removing his boots, and her eyes were glued to the ripple of back muscles the simple motion highlighted.  When he straightened again, she was drawn to the chiselled planes of his chest.

_ Wow _ .  Then her gaze dropped.  She swallowed, reaching out with trembling fingers, then paused.  

Auron caught her movement, eyebrow lifting.  “You are allowed to touch me,” he told her with a hint of amusement.

She crooned in satisfaction, then ran her hands down his abdomen.  “Covering these up is a crime against nature,” she drooled.

Auron laughed, and Rikku tracked the mesmerizing shift of his torso as he did.  

“So you think I should walk around baring myself as you usually do?” 

_ Yes, please! _ was her immediate thought before the image played out in her brain.  “...Probably not,” she admitted, tracing the dip between the muscles from his chest to his navel.  For once she was thankful for the sweltering heat in Kilika; thin beads of sweat dotted his bare skin.  “You’d attract too much attention.”  She traced the defined line down his hip and he jerked.  “Ticklish?” she mused.

Auron swore and leaned down, catching her in an unexpected kiss.  The easy, flirtatious atmosphere melded into focused intensity in an instant.  For all his light humor, Rikku could feel the tension coiling underneath his skin.  

He, too, had missed her, she realized, as his hands rose to hold her head steady.  The hunger that had sprouted in Luca had festered into something darker when he thought she might be dead.

_ And then he found me again, and I threw what I did with Braska right in his face. _  She faltered, surprised that Auron still wanted to be with her at all.   _ Maybe… we shouldn’t be doing this yet?  Is it really the right time? _

Perhaps sensing her hesitation, Auron growled.  “I do not care,” he said, the heated words washing across her collarbone.  “Whatever you are thinking, I  _ do not care _ .  I don’t want to keep myself from knowing you any longer, whether you hurt me again or not.”

That stung, spurring Rikku to silence him with a kiss.  “I won’t hurt you,” she said, fumbling with her battered bikini bottom until it joined his clothes on the floor.

He hiked up the edge of her shirt, his hand a burning warmth as he pushed it over her thigh.  When he paused, she whined in protest.  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  He continued lifting her shirt off.  “I’m willing to be hurt if it means I can have you.”  He pulled the cloth over her head and dropped it aside, then guided her to the floor.

Rikku shut her eyes and pressed against him, searching for relief to the growing heat under her skin.  Auron’s fingers caught against her top, untying the string.  When he pulled it away, she felt him lean back to observe her, just as she had done to him.

Her eyes flew open and she watched him watching her.  His brows furrowed, gaze darting back and forth over her; he was giving her the same considering look he used when appraising an opponent.  She shivered at the intensity, but still managed to inject a smug note into her voice as she spoke.  “You know, you’re allowed to touch me, too.  _  Even _ if you think they’re small.”

“You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”  He fell forward, trapping her head between his hands and kissing her hungrily, a man starved for touch.  She wrapped her legs around his waist and breathed out a moan as his fingers trailed down her sides.   _ This is happening _ .   _ This is really happening! _

Reaching for the tie of his ponytail, she yanked it out.  His long black hair spilled over their shoulders like a silken waterfall.   _ Maybe there’s something to combing your hair after all _ , Rikku thought, running her hands through the smooth, tangle-free lengths.  She curled her fingers into Auron’s scalp and tugged.

He let out a low groan and in answer, another woman moaned with him –

They both froze, and then she realized the groans weren’t coming from  _ him _ .

Auron murmured something under his breath, and it didn’t sound complimentary.  Turning her head towards the open window, she squinted.

The moans grew louder –  _ definitely _ not either of them.  In fact, they seemed to be coming from another room in the same inn.  

  
“Uh!  Celes!” a man cried out.

Rikku thumped her head against the futon as Auron collapsed next to her with a pained grunt.

“You wanna keep going?” she whispered, then winced as another strangled cry sounded.  Whoever the two lovers were, they weren’t shy about letting the world know they were going at it.

_ Save some action for us!  You’re killing the mood over here! _

Auron rolled onto his back and covered his eyes.  The scowl forming on the lower half of his face hinted at his desire to unleash an overdrive.  

Rikku could commiserate.  

Shrugging, she sat up and kicked off her boots.  Then she leaned her chin on her palm, sulking and listening to the sounds of their amorous neighbors.

Eventually, Auron sat up beside her.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and moodily rested his chin against her shoulder.  Another loud cry split the air and Rikku smirked.

“He must be good,” she whispered.

Auron opened his mouth to reply, but a sudden shout, followed by a long moment of silence, made him pause.  His eyebrows rose, and he turned to Rikku, his mouth close to her ear.  “You think they’re done?”

A giggle sounded.  “Again?  Already?  Oh!   _ Oh, Locke  _ – ”

Rikku sighed.  “We should’ve just dance-danced,” she answered under her breath.

Still, despite the distracting noise, she felt Auron nuzzle her.  “Mmm,” she hummed as he brushed his lips over a particularly sensitive spot on her neck.  “What’re you doing?”

Auron didn’t answer, too busy tracing a path up her chin and towards her own lips.  He drew away before kissing her, but she hardly noticed, distracted as she was by his wandering hands.  “I thought you didn’t want to – ” 

“What did he do to you?”

Rikku’s stomach dropped out and she shivered at the low, angry note coloring Auron’s voice.  There it was:  his jealousy.

“Did he touch you here?” he murmured against her ear.

She shook her head, breathing shallowly.  “Why are you asking me this now?”

Auron’s mouth drifted down her neck, suckling the sensitive skin.   “And here?”

Her eyes fell shut and she tilted her head back.  His lips were warm and insistent, but he pulled away even as she leaned forward, forcing her hands down to her sides.

“Answer me,” he demanded, his breath hot against her skin.

Opening her eyes, Rikku looked out the window.  The two lovers continued to provide the backdrop to Auron’s bittersweet interrogation.

“Yes,” she sighed, conflicted by the mixture of arousal and guilt threatening to overwhelm her.

Auron stiffened, but his fingers continued to trail down her sides, stopping at her hips.  He traced the edges of their curves, then forged a path to her outer thighs.  “Where?” he asked again.

_ Is this the right thing to do? _  Rikku wondered, even as he raised goosebumps with his touch.  She’d lied so much to him already… could she do it again,  _ now _ , to spare him?  Did he even  _ want _ to be spared?

_ No. _  She was done making the same mistakes.  He deserved her honesty, no matter how much it would hurt them both.

“Not there,” she answered, moving her hand over his.  She guided his fingers along the backs of her thighs with the whisper of a memory.  “Here,” she added, releasing him.

Auron’s mouth silenced her, his kiss hot and angry.  There was no hint of mercy or tenderness in the action, just raw fury.  Or anguish, maybe, at her words.  He drew back after a moment, panting.  “Did he kiss you as I have?”

Rikku couldn’t meet his gaze, so she closed her eyes instead.  “Answer  _ my _ question,” she demanded.  “Why are you asking?”

He dropped his head against her chest, his breathing rough and pained.  “I can’t stand it.  The thought of someone else claiming your body.”  His fingers gripped and released her thighs.  “I want to burn away everything he did to you.”

Somewhere above them, Celes was singing another aria.  Auron had dedicated a song to Rikku too, one that had shown the depths of the turmoil that still boiled below the surface of his outward calm.

“Okay,” she breathed.  “Okay,” she repeated, meeting his kiss with one of her own.  “Ask, and I’ll show you.”

He pushed her down against the futon, and Rikku allowed him to test her, adding her own soft gasps and sighs to the chorus.  Her voice rose and fell with each discovery of her indiscretion; it felt like Auron was hunting for and exposing her deepest secrets.  True to his nature, he was focused, methodical and relentless in his exploration.  It was thrilling; her nerves were on fire, and her body was thrumming with excitement.  Gasping, Rikku’s eyes flew open.   _ So why do I feel so terrible? _

Auron’s movements slowed as her words died out.  He dropped his forehead against her hip.  “Is there anything else?” he asked, his voice strained.

Rikku gulped in a ragged breath and shook her head.  “No… no, there’s… nothing else to confess.”

Something in the way her words caught in her throat made him lift his head and look at her.  Climbing to her side, he brushed a tear away from the corner of her eye.  “I’ve hurt you.” 

“I hurt you first,” she replied.

He flopped onto his back, the tension draining out of him.  “We really are cactuars,” he muttered with a hint of wry humor.  “This is not at all how I envisioned tonight’s activities.”

She rolled into his shoulder, defeated.  “I thought this would make me happy, being able to finally be with you like this.”   _ I said it to Braska, didn’t I?  Maybe I’m too stupid to take my own advice. _  “But, I can’t just kiss away our problems.”  She squeezed her eyes shut.   _ I’ve figured out that much, at least. _

His laugh surprised her.  

“You think it’s funny?”

“Not that,” he said, tracing a gentle finger over her shoulder.  “It’s just that you’re the least  _ Al Bhed _ Al Bhed I’ve ever met.”

After everything that had happened, somehow, the contradiction warmed her.  "Oh, like you're a shining example of the warrior monks, huh?"  She poked him in the ribs.  "But, maybe that makes us perfect for each other.”  Sobering, she glanced over at Auron, thinking about their thorny relationship.

The Church of Yevon made a production of being scandalized by the Al Bhed’s supposedly promiscuous behavior, and in response the Al Bhed embraced that philosophy without shame.  On the other hand, for all of their professed piety, Rikku had never met any warrior monk as straight-laced and honor-bound as Auron.  If fact, it was usually the Church’s own ranks who were the first to ignore the teachings.  She winced, reminded once again of her disastrous stay in Baaj, and pushed the thought away.

“We're both hurting because we want the same thing – just to be with each other.  I don’t want to do what other people think I should, and I think... neither do you, right?”

He met her gaze.  “I want to trust you.”

She drifted closer.  “I didn’t sleep with Braska.”   _ Please, please believe me. _  Maybe this was the real punishment for the myriad of lies she’d fabricated since crash-landing into Auron’s life; he just couldn’t accept the truth when she told it to him.  “I couldn’t do it because he wasn’t you.  Even if you don’t want me anymore, I won’t run to Braska.  I can’t be with anyone else.  It has to be  _ you _ .”

Auron pulled her close and kissed her; it wasn’t the hungry, desperate kisses he’d assaulted her with before.  There was something almost delicate in the way he touched her now, every movement an apology.  “You’re shaking,” he whispered.

“I can’t lose you,” she whispered back, trying to hold herself still.  “I know it’s childish and there are things going on that are bigger than you and me, but I can’t help it.  I don’t know what I’d do if my stupid lies forced you away.” 

He brushed his calloused thumb under the sensitive skin of her ear, drawing tiny circles that soothed away her tremors.  “I shouldn’t have let my frustration and assumptions cloud my judgement.”  He searched her face.  “I know who you really are.”

Rikku’s breath caught in her throat.  “What do you mean?”

He caught a stray lock of her hair between his fingers, his eyes still trained on hers.  “You’re my love.  And I am still yours.”  He lowered his head, breathing in her choked sob.  “I won’t forget it again,” he added, before sealing his mouth over hers.  

The gentle apology gradually heated, and his hands resumed their exploration of her body.  This time, his touch wasn’t an interrogation, and the renewed tension that sparked between them was no longer filled with anger.

She tore her mouth away from him, sucking in a ragged breath.  “So then we’re lovers?  You’re all talk,” she said, giddy with relief.  “If you mean it, then you better back up those words right now.”  

Auron slowed her frenetic caresses.  “Relax,” he told her, gently.  “There’s no need to rush.”  His voice grew husky.  “I won’t let you escape tonight.”

Some of her panicked desperation to nail down Auron’s forgiveness lessened with his reassurance, and she stopped trying to plaster herself against him like an overly-affectionate Coeurl.

“Your presence in my life is a gift,” he continued.  “I’m not sure how I earned it, nor how long I’ll manage to keep it.  But, if this ordeal has taught me anything, it’s that you’re here now, and I’d be a fool to reject that gift.  So I intend to return it.”  His lips grazed hers.  “I am yours.  But will you accept me?”

Embracing him, Rikku drank in his presence.  She wondered why he couldn’t see what she did:   _ perfection _ , from his sculpted warrior’s physique to his sharp mind.  Most of all she wondered at his capacity to be loyal no matter what he was put through, expecting nothing in return.  Almost as though he was  _ afraid _ to demand more from the few people he cared for.  

_ Was it just me who did this to you? _  The thought was fleeting, but the answer didn’t matter.  Her heart ached, that  _ she _ had hurt him enough that he thought it necessary to even ask – but the answer was something she was more sure of than ever before.  “Only you,” she replied, drawing him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONGS (all heavily edited):
> 
> Auron: Motörhead - “Love Me Forever”  
> Jecht: Bon Jovi - “It’s My Life”  
> Braska: Leonard Cohen - “Closing Time”
> 
> This chapter’s for Lemmy and Leonard Cohen.


	45. Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Memento Vivere Artwork](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8574022/chapters/19657864) has been update to have an easier-on-the-eyes format, as well as a missing piece of djpunupipi's Auron suite added to the page. Go check it out if you haven't, djpunupipi has done some fantastic artwork for this fiction! :: hearts ::

Rikku woke to the muted grey light of dawn. She blinked and stretched, wincing at the soreness. Memories of the previous evening trickled into place, and the wince turned into a warm blush and soft smile.

Turning, she looked at Auron, sleeping on his stomach next to her. His near-permanent scowl had smoothed out, gentling his features. His hair was unbound, fanned over his back and a bit more tangled than she'd remembered it being last night – _mostly my fault_ , she giggled. His breath was steady and deep; it was probably the first good rest he'd managed to get in days.

Lifting the arm that was slung over her torso, she eased herself out of Auron's grip. He turned his head and snored loudly, fingers flexing, before his breathing evened out again.

_Hmm… he really is kinda cute._ She resisted the urge to push some of his hair away from his face and instead wrapped her arms around her knees and watched him.

_Is this going to change things?_ Rikku frowned. Things had already started _changing_ the moment they left Djose. _I won't let it. You're stuck with me for good now._

Auron slept on, unaware of her vow. Smiling, she bent over and reached for her clothes. Hesitating, she picked up the borrowed shirt she'd been wearing as a dress and wrinkled her nose. Taking one last glance at him, she reached for her pouch and dug out her supplies. _Time for a new look._

**.x.x.x.**

The caws of seagulls mingled with the noise of the slowly waking village; Kilika was late on its feet, likely thanks to the previous night's wild celebrating. When Auron stirred to life, his face scrunched in confusion at the bright sunlight spilling into their room.

"Hnn… Rikku?" She hummed in greeting. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked tired," she answered, her focus still centered on the scrap of cloth she was sewing. "Just a sec, I'm almost done with this." Pulling the thread taut, she bit it off with her teeth. Then she shook the cloth out and held it up with a triumphant smile. "What do you think?"

He rubbed his eyes. "It's… colorful. What is that?"

"My new sash!" She stood and turned, wrapping the rectangle of cloth around her waist to dangle over her left hip. It reached just above her knee in the same half-skirt style she'd fashioned on Yuna's costume. She took up her needle to put the finishing touches on her outfit.

Auron blinked again, then ran a hand through his hair. "I'd say it's too early for surprises, but it's _you_. What are you wearing now?"

Rikku straightened. "You don't recognize it? This is my dress!" She tugged the form-fitting top she'd made out of it. This time, the material ended an _appropriate_ distance above her navel. "I didn't have enough fabric left to make a full skirt, so I just mixed it up with my old one and made a pair of shorts instead."

Auron said nothing, watching her.

"They're a little tight, but I've sewn my own clothes before," she admitted. "I'm pretty sure they'll hold together. Still, I guess I should test them." Sliding her legs out into her battle lunge, she bounced back and forth. The seams felt like they were holding, but it was better safe than sorry. After all, there was nothing quite like the experience of having to fight fiends pantless, or so Wakka had once told her. Rikku dropped into a series of squats and stretches, testing the limits of her new booty shorts. "Yeah, I think these are good," she concluded, dusting her clothes off.

A low noise emerged from Auron's throat. "Get over here."

Catching the look in his eye, she blushed, automatically moving back toward the futon. She glanced out the window. "I thought you said it was late!"

He pulled her down with a predatory gleam. "Then no one will mind if we're a little later."

"I like the way you think." She smirked. Then she yelped and slapped his hands. "Wait! These are brand new! Don't rip them off like that! Hey! _Hey!_ "

**.x.x.x.**

"You think they're having breakfast somewhere?" Rikku asked Auron, later. They strolled through the village, observing the cleanup and recovery from the festival.

Auron glanced at the sun shining overhead. "Lunch, more likely."

She grinned. It was nice to take a day off like this; Auron was usually the one whipping them along at a breakneck pace. He seemed content to meander at the moment, though, and she wasn't complaining. Still… "How are we gonna explain this to the others?"

He shrugged. "Do we need to? Let them think what they will."

"You don't get embarrassed easily, do you?" she muttered, shoving her shoulder against his.

He looked down at her. "I'm not ashamed of us." His words were earnest despite his relaxed behavior. "Although there is only so much of Jecht's humor I can endure. But that has nothing to do with _you._ "

"Cut him a little slack today," she said, spotting a bobbing blitzball in the middle of a small gathering. "Without Jecht's big mouth we might not even be together right now." She pulled him towards her goal.

He grunted in acceptance. "Just for today."

As expected, Jecht was performing his tricks again with a new blitzball. He stopped and smiled when he saw them, catching the ball under one arm. "Well, well, well! If it ain't Blondie and Tightass!"

Auron reached for his sword and Rikku leapt for his elbow, dragging it back down. "You said you'd be good!"

"Good morning to you too, _Jackass_ ," Auron muttered.

"Just callin' it like I saw it yesterday." Jecht smirked. "And it ain't mornin' no more, ya know." Waving off his admirers, he tossed away the blitzball – now signed – to one of the onlookers. "You missed an awesome party last night! Or did ya? Eh? _Ehh?_ You lovebirds too busy havin' a little _party_ of your own?"

Rikku was surprised that his eyebrows hadn't fallen off yet, given the way he was waggling them at Auron. She stepped forward, crooking her finger. "Oh Jecht..."

He approached. "What's – "

Jumping, she tackled him, trapping his head under her arm.

Windmilling his arms, he tried to free himself. " 'ey! Auron! Get her off!"

"Why?" Auron replied lazily. "Rikku, adjust your elbow to your left. Chokeholds are more effective if you cut off their air supply quickly."

She ignored Auron and pounded Jecht's back with her fist. "You're an idiot!" Then she relented and gave him an honest hug. "But, thank you for what you did last night."

Jecht returned her squeeze before pushing her off. "Watchin' you two was givin' me hives," he grumbled. "So… you both okay now? No more drama?"

"I don't think we can guarantee that. But yeah…" She put her hands on her hips and grinned at Auron, who returned her smile. "We're better than okay."

Jecht's whistle cut through the air. "Damn! You made him smile! You guys musta had more fun than I thought!"

"Jecht!" she scolded at the same time Auron said, "Yes."

"Uh… huh," Jecht said, his eyes darting between them. "This is gonna get gross if I press, ain't it."

"Try me," Auron answered, smug. "I'm in a good mood."

She rolled her eyes. "Where's Braska? Who has my belt? Don't we have a ship to catch? And why am _I_ being the responsible one right now?" She stomped in protest.

"B's got your stuff, Blondie. He's at the docks, tryin' to get us a ship I think. Since, ya know, _some people_ missed our mornin' ride outta here."

"Braska's…" Rikku repeated.

"... buying tickets. Alone," Auron finished. "Let's move."

Jecht jumped as they sped past him for the waterfront. He scratched his head. "I thought we were rich now! What's the problem?"

**.x.x.x.**

"Wait! Stop! Whatever he's buying, we won't take it!" Rikku raced onto the ship, leaning over and huffing as Braska turned around, eyebrows raised.

"There you are, Rikku. Those are some very nice shorts," he added. "But I think they're missing something." He pulled her belt out of his bag and handed it over.

She snatched it and gave the belt a kiss, checking the garment grid for damage. "You took good care of my baby, right? Shh," she added, cooing to the machina. "There, there. Mama's here. I'll never leave you alone again!"

Chuckling, Braska looked over her shoulder. "Where's Auron?" He faced the confused crewman who was still holding out four tickets. "I'm sorry, we'll be just a moment here. Please keep those handy."

"These four V.I.P. slots to Besaid won't wait all day," the sailor responded, waving the tickets.

"V.I.P cabins?" She glared and snapped her belt into place. "That's strange, 'cause even the Pualu – you know, Luca's _luxury_ liner – didn't have those." She sized the sailor up. "I'm sure my friend, _Sir_ Auron's gonna find that _very_ interesting." She gestured behind her. "You can't miss him; he's the tough-looking guy in the red coat with the huge sword."

The man gulped and pocketed the tickets. "Our offer's always open to negotiation, of course."

"Sure better be," she answered cheerfully.

Auron approached, eyeing the nervous sailor. "Problems?"

Braska sighed in defeat. "Not anymore. Hello, Auron. Did you rest well?"

Auron looked at Braska. "As well as could be expected."

"I see," Braska said, glancing between them. "I… am happy for you." He smiled tightly at her. "Both of you." Shaking his head, he turned back to Auron. "Perhaps you could arrange this business with the ship for us? Rikku seems to believe I am not the right man for this task."

Auron frowned and turned away from the summoner, glowering at the sailor. "Let's talk about Besaid," he said, advancing on the other man.

_What a mood dampener_. _But, I'm not gonna run from this_. "Thanks," she said, sarcastically. "I actually _am_ happy, but I'm _so_ glad you approve of us. It's nice to have your permission."

Braska frowned and looked at his feet. "I suppose my words were uncalled for. I had no desire to provoke you."

"Really? I couldn't tell. Why do you have to be like this around Auron?"

His head shot up at that, blue eyes piercing. "You _know_ why."

Rikku eyed him critically. He obviously wasn't as unruffled about last night's developments as he was pretending to be. Still, a niggling sense of guilt plagued her; she'd fallen for Braska's baited words again. The whole point of talking to him was to try and smooth things over, wasn't it?

_If I let this fester, it'll tear us apart. And it's not like Braska's gonna fix it on his own._ "I don't want to feel guilty watching you and Auron snipe at each other." She pursed her lips, a plan slowly forming; bad as she might feel for engaging Braska in another battle of wits, he really needed to learn to leave well enough alone. _Might as well go for broke._ "We're gonna leave if you force us to."

"Leave? " Braska stiffened. "Why do you think I would demand such a thing? I never – "

"You're hurting him. If we leave, he doesn't have to face that, and maybe you'll have to give up on your Pilgrimage. It sounds like a win-win to me." She glanced over her shoulder at Auron, who was still negotiating with the sailor. "I'll tell you something he doesn't know." Rikku leaned in, lowering her voice. "The reason I joined my first Pilgrimage was to sabotage it. I was an Al Bhed before I became a Guardian, and I still am. Don't think I won't cheat to get my way!"

To her surprise, Braska only laughed, drawing Auron's gaze. "That's what I like about you. You're not afraid to grab the things you want." He faltered for a moment. "I only wish I was one of them. But you shouldn't make idle threats – they don't suit you. You're not that manipulative, Rikku."

_Not like myself_ , he left unsaid but not unheard.

She scuffed her boot against the deck, sulking. "I had to try. I hate being the reason you two are fighting."

"You are fire," Braska told her. "Those of us in the cold will always be drawn to your warmth. Don't blame yourself for this."

_I'm blaming myself for burning you_. She pushed the thought down; she wouldn't let guilt taint the time she'd spent with Auron. They'd excised those demons together last night. "I still want you two to stop fighting."

Braska bowed to her. "If it eases your mind, I will speak with Auron today. He is my friend, and I am being a poor one to him."

"It's settled," Auron said as he rejoined them. "The captain wants to leave for Besaid as soon as possible, so we need to find Jecht." He looked between them, brow furrowing. "Or am I interrupting your discussion?"

Rikku caught Auron's eye and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'll go. You know I can be fast!" Rising to her tiptoes, she planted a kiss onto Auron's lips, not allowing herself to be intimidated by Braska's presence.

Then she forgot what point she was trying to make when Auron drew her closer, urging her to part her lips. He returned her kiss with passion, both a reminder of what they'd done and a promise that it would be happening again in the future.

When he released her, she had to take a few deep breaths to steady herself, blood pounding in her ears.

"Return quickly," he murmured.

"Y-yeah," Rikku stammered, tripping over her feet as she turned away. _Oh, sweet machina_ , a tiny part of her mind screamed in panic, short-circuiting from Auron's surprise attack. The rest of her body continued to work on autopilot as she hurried off.

She forced herself to focus on getting Jecht and returning as quickly as possible. _Will the boat still be in one piece when I get back?_ She could almost picture Auron practicing his Bushido moves against Anima. Finding Jecht seemed like a good thing to prioritize; two pairs of arms would be better than one if Braska and Auron decided to _really_ start fighting.

**.x.x.x.**

Auron watched Rikku's retreat until she was out of sight. Then he faced Braska.

"Straightforward as usual," Braska told him in a strained voice. "You've made your point. I have no intent to usurp the position you now hold."

Auron took in their surroundings and frowned. "This is no place to talk, my lord." He made a small gesture towards the ship's bow. The short walk there was tense and silent.

Slowing to a stop near the edge of the boat, Braska leaned on his staff. "Have you more to say, or shall I be reduced to watching your displays of affection whenever I am in her proximity?"

Auron let out an explosive sigh. " _Stop_. This wasn't what I meant when I told you to move on!" He glowered at Braska. "I would have allowed you anything before, but you refused to act! _You_ pushed us together. Why have second thoughts now?"

"I brought this upon myself." Braska lowered his head in acknowledgement. "Perhaps it was selfish, but I wanted to live again through you." His voice softened with an old and familiar note of pain. "My happiness died with Raenn. I thought I would never be able to feel again after I lost her." He trained his eyes on the ocean, following the shifting movements of the water. "But I still remembered. I thought it would be enough, to maneuver you into place and watch as you learned to love one another. I believed I had made peace with myself in Luca." He sighed. "Only after Sin attacked did I understand how wrong I was. The hopes I harbored for you were my own desires." He thumped his staff against the deck in frustration. "Facing that truth nearly destroyed us."

Auron's hands clenched, a muscle in his cheek jumping at the word _us_. "Yet, you're here and stronger than ever." His mouth tightened. "I know what you did with her. You've always been my mentor and my guide, until now." His fists trembled and he regarded Braska with hard eyes. "I trusted you. Why?"

"Because I lost everything!" Braska snapped. "I was stripped of my purpose, my power, my very meaning. I was _nothing_ , yet she still believed in the person I was pretending to be. Even when Rikku learned of the depths of my own sins, she accepted me." He took a deep breath, calming himself. "That irrepressible energy of hers draws both of us, doesn't it?" Some of his frustration softened. "I know my words mean little at this point… but I _am_ sorry. I never meant for this to happen."

"... you need to release her," Auron said when he found his voice, his anger still smoldering. "I don't share. She's too soft to cut her ties to you."

"Auron," Braska sighed, shaking his head. "Rikku's affection is hers to dispense as she sees fit – people don't simply decide to fall in or out of love. I don't know that I would chose to ignore my own feelings even if I could." His smile turned bitter. "Perhaps I am more fortunate than you. A dream can never be crushed by the truth of reality."

Auron snorted. "You know just as well as I do that your love isn't unrequited. We'd have no arguments if Rikku didn't care for you." His fierce frown eased into something more contemplative. "Though I think I've begun to understand your feelings."

"What? I thought you and she – "

"When I thought her life might have ended somewhere out there," Auron explained. "I knew my duty was to you first. That I had to find you. If she died protecting you, it would have been a good death, one she chose." He shook his head. "But she's made me want more. I want a life beyond my duty, now. I want hers to be a part of it." Some of the tension leeched away from his words. "In just two days I nearly went mad. You lived with feeling that – that _much_ for six years."

Braska fell silent and bowed his shoulders. "Is it not as I said? Only something stronger than hatred could overcome Sin. You feel its power now. What a cruel and terrible weapon love would be, if it could be wielded. No one would be impervious."

"Haven't we done just that?" Auron winced. "I'm a man of action, and you of words. It doesn't matter how we fight, we will find ways to damage each other." He let out a heavy breath. "If this continues we will destroy everything. This Pilgrimage, your hopes for Spira's future, perhaps even Rikku."

"At least you can finally admit you love her," Braska observed.

"I won't give her up. Not even for you," Auron answered. "Will this be a problem?"

Braska turned away. "I'm glad you've discovered your ego at last. You can't protect others unless you know how defend yourself first." He hesitated. "I… feel the same way you do, but there's no future in such fantasies. There would be none even if Rikku shared my feelings." He tightened his fingers around his staff. "The path I walk was born from the ashes of my love for Raenn. It began in sorrow and will end in sorrow. Those foolish enough to care for me will be hurt."

Auron tensed.

There it was, the truth they continued to sidestep: Braska's Pilgrimage and how it would likely end.

Auron broke the weighty silence. "That's a little fatalistic. Maybe you'll be the first summoner to defeat Sin and tell the tale of it. You've destroyed every other convention along the way to get here."

"And two temple Trials as well," Braska added with a smirk. "But to answer your question, no. I will not make myself a thorn in your side, Auron – but you can't ask me to stop admiring Rikku. I will respect her choices."

"Meaning?"

"I want to keep her safe." He returned Auron's probing look with a hint of steel. "If you can no longer trust me as your friend, then at least have confidence in me as a hopeless lover. I, too, will fight to protect the things I care about. So, I won't force her to chose between us."

Auron studied him for a long moment. Finally, he sighed. "I must be a fool, because I believe you." Looking away, he let out a low grunt. "And I'm glad you're still alive." Some of the stiffness eased out of his posture. "Things wouldn't be the same without you here, you troublesome bastard."

Braska nodded in acceptance. "You are still my friend too, Auron. Never forget that." He considered the other man. "We should continue our training together. Even if you were being resentful – "

Auron scoffed. "Resentful? Please. I am not _petty_."

" – you did have a good idea," continued Braska smoothly, undisturbed. "We each grow stronger when we share our expertise, do we not?" His mouth quirked with muffled amusement when he saw Auron's confusion. "I would suggest you make an attempt to learn the basics of White magic. You never know when it'll prove useful."

**.x.x.x.**

"I can't believe we're late because of those," Rikku growled, stomping towards the port.

Jecht adjusted his newest burden against the bundle of his travelling bag. "Yeah, well if you wanted to get back quicker, you could've carried my pack."

She rolled her eyes without bothering to turn around. "Just get rid of some of those stupid blitzballs! Why do you need so many, anyway?" She gestured at the bulging net he refused to drop.

"For the fans! You don't got no agents here in Spira. I gotta take care of my own publicity now, ya know?"

"Ugh," she groaned, throwing her hands in the air.

A small group of teenagers approached them – or more accurately, made a beeline for Jecht. As they swarmed around him, he stopped walking and lowered his net. Rikku balked. _Wait, he has fans already?_ "Well, I guess when you're competing with fish for the adoration of the people, it doesn't take much…"

"Sir Jecht! Do you have time to show us more tricks?" one of the girls squealed, and Rikku glared. It was Dona, again. _Guardian rabble my butt. She's all over these guys!_ At least Bartello was absent this time; probably pouting, if the hearts shining out from the girl's eyes were anything to go by. Trying to suppress her gag reflex, Rikku edged away from Jecht's adoring crowd.

" 'fraid not! Duty calls and all that stuff." Jecht waved down the disappointed cries and began passing out signed blitzballs to each one of them. "But here's a little somethin' to remember me by. Use these to keep yourselves sharp! When I come back, I wanna see professional Blitzers kickin' butt here. Can I hear a 'yeah' ?"

"Yeah!" the teenagers cheered in near unison. Dona cleared her throat impetuously and gestured at the other kids, who quieted down. "Thank you for visiting Kilika, Sir Jecht!" she said. Then the group performed a well-synchronized bow to him.

Jecht rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah… so catch ya later then," he muttered, grabbing the net which was still well-supplied with blitzballs. He did his best to casually speed-walk away and made a face at Rikku when they'd gained some distance. "That was damn creepy," he mumbled to her. "Y'know that's a victory sign in Zanarkand? It's all kinds of messed up that you people use it to pray. Do they think I'm a god or somethin'?"

Rikku tried to picture Jecht as a deity, but her mind recoiled in horror. "Let's hope not. You know, the further south we go, the more of that you're gonna see," she warned him. "People tend to be more superstitious the farther away you get from the big cities. They'll bow to almost anything that makes them happy. Drives us Al Bhed nuts." She smirked. "But hey, you wanted fans? Now you've got some. Don't blame me if they're Yevonite zombies!"

"That's one crazy world cult, man." He looked disturbed – not disturbed enough to abandon his net full of signed blitzballs, though. "Definitely weird."

"Look who's talking," she mumbled, watching him pull a ball out of his net and hand it off to yet another smiling villager. As they approached the docks, she sped their power walk up to a jog.

"So, what's the hurry?" Jecht asked, matching her pace. "Ain't like Auron's gonna let the ship leave without you."

"I'm a little more worried he might set it on fire." She breathed a sigh of relief as the Liki came into sight, still docked and in one piece. "C'mon, let's go find them." They both hurried up the gangplank, Rikku waving off the crewman with a quick call of, "Summoner's party!"

Jecht let his baggage land onto the deck with a loud thump. Placing a hand on his neck, he rolled one shoulder. "Well, the ship ain't on fire." He pointed. "They're just standin' over there talkin' to each other."

She spun to follow Jecht's finger. "There's no blood? Are you sure?"

"What'd you do this time?" Jecht looked at her incredulously. "It ain't even been a full hour since I last saw ya!"

"Nothing!" she pouted, then winced at his loud snort. "Ok, so maybe I tried to pressure Braska into making up with Auron…" She swayed in place. "... with a teensy-tiny little bit of blackmail. Miniscule. Microspeckic."

"Uh-huh," Jecht said, waiting.

Rikku picked at one of her nails. "I threatened to grab Auron and run," she confessed. "I didn't mean it, okay? I just wanted to see if I could stop the fighting."

"Are you outta your mind?" Jecht slapped his forehead. "The man was a missionary, right? Ain't Braska been trainin' all his life to sell snake oil to people? You think you can out-talk that?"

She frowned. "I never thought of it that way. But what's that got to do with my plan? I thought it was a good one! I can be convincing!"

"Did it work?"

"No," Rikku mumbled in a small voice. "Braska saw right through it and made fun of me."

Jecht sighed. "I'm just sayin', I don't think you can pull one over on a guy like that." A grin crept onto his face. "Hey, have ya got one of them spheres on ya? I got a plan."

"...What are you cooking up now? You know both of them could kick your ass if they really wanted to."

"See, that's the thing! We make a video, and _nobody's_ ass gets kicked! It's like… evidence, right?" He lifted his chin proudly. "I'm brilliant!"

"You're insane," she replied. Still, apart from the shoopuf incident at the Moonflow, Jecht's track record with bad ideas was less embarrassing than hers. "But ugh, fine. Here." With a sigh, she dug through her restocked pouches and came up with an empty sphere.

"Stop worryin'," he told her. "We'll just say it's for Yuna and they'll behave." He started up the sphere and approached the two men, who were still facing the sea. When they were close enough, Jecht cupped a hand beside his mouth. " 'ey! 'Sup?"

Braska turned. "Oh, you're back. Auron and I have been talking."

Auron also faced them, focusing on the glowing sphere in Jecht's hands. He rolled his eyes but didn't comment.

Rikku studied both of them. They didn't show any signs of injury; then again, Braska was a fast healer. She checked the deck for chipped wood and bloodstains. "How'd all that talking work out for you?"

"We've come to an understanding." Auron's lips twitched as he watched her. "One that didn't involve any loss of limbs."

Braska laughed. "Well, not yet. I was just attempting to explain the theory of White magic to Auron." And yep, that was definitely an impish twinkle in his eye. "He has all the makings of a promising student."

She looked at Auron, who didn't seem to understand the source of Braska's amusement. _He has no clue._ Then she blinked. _Wait, why am I worried about this?_ "Ah! That – that's a really good idea!" she blurted. "Study hard, Auron!"

"You feelin' okay?" Jecht peered at her. "You look like you got smacked in the face with a blitzball. More than usual I mean."

She made a strangled half-noise, fanning herself. "It's just heatstroke." Which wasn't entirely untrue, considering her memory of Braska's _expertise_ with Cure spells in Baaj. "Whew, is it just me or is it hot around here?" She couldn't stop the grin that was spreading over her face any more than she could keep her mouth shut. "You know, you could heal me if you knew a little White magic," she said to Auron.

Braska held a finger up, still looking smug. " _I_ could – "

"No-no-no!" she shouted, coming out of her stupor. "I think I'll recover fine on my own, thanks!"

Auron now wore a definite look of suspicion as she sidled up to him and continued to beam. "We're going to have a talk about this later," he warned when she grabbed his arm. He placed his hand over hers and tightened his fingers.

"I hope you'll do more than just talk," she whispered back, and he gave her a speculative look.

They both startled as a sailor's loud cry went up; the ship was pulling out into the open sea. She hadn't even noticed, caught up in the moment. Auron cleared his throat and stepped away from her. Forcing herself to pay attention to her surroundings, she glanced at Jecht and Braska, who were conversing.

"So we're goin' to visit another temple, right?" Jecht asked.

"That's correct," Braska told the other man, facing the sea. "Besaid is our final stop."

"Right. So... after you get that aeon from Besaid… where're we goin'?"

"Back the way we came," Auron answered him. "Then we go north from Bevelle and climb Mount Gagazet."

The statement hung heavy in the air, and Rikku thought of the promise she'd extracted from Braska long ago. She glanced at Jecht, who was still idly filming the scene, oblivious to the meaning behind their words.

Braska's shoulders drooped, and he turned around to face Jecht. "Beyond it lies Zanarkand."

Some of the ease drained out of Jecht at those words, and he took a slow step backwards. "Zanarkand, huh?" There was a certain foreign weariness to his voice.

Braska tilted his head, frowning in confusion, likely because he hadn't revealed the price of the Pilgrimage to Jecht yet. Rikku kept her mouth shut, since it was just as obvious that Jecht hadn't shared his secret about Zanarkand with Braska either.

"It's been in ruins for a thousand years, right?" Jecht asked with a note of finality.

"So the legends say," Auron answered. He paused, looking uncomfortable. "No one knows for sure. It still could be your Zanarkand."

She winced. Auron _really_ needed to work more on his poker face.

Jecht must've thought something similar, barking out a loud laugh. "Thanks for tryin', Auron." He shut the sphere down and tossed it at Braska, who caught it in surprise. "For Yuna," he grunted, before stalking off.

They watched Jecht collect his things and disappear below deck in silence. Finally, Auron spoke.

"Was it something I said?" He frowned. "I know I can be direct, but we've discussed Zanarkand before. This reaction is… new."

"It's not your fault," Rikku assured him. "Jecht has some issues with his hometown. He hasn't said anything to either of you yet?"

"No," Auron answered, looking at her. "Is that what you spoke about at the Mi'ihen Agency? The night he didn't return?"

She nodded. "Yeah. It's complicated." _Understatement._ "I bet he'll tell you when he's ready."

"Hmm." Braska looked back at the sea, his face troubled. "So many of us, still keeping secrets from one another."

"You're one to talk," Auron scolded.

Braska lifted his shoulders in the barest hint of a shrug. "I can't tell him. Not yet. I promised I would do so before we reached Zanarkand, but it looks like he needs an ear for his own burdens right now." He turned to Rikku. "Go speak with him."

She blinked. "Why me?"

"Because he's closest to you," Braska replied, as if it was obvious.

Rikku frowned. Well, she _did_ spend more time with Jecht than the others, that was true, but…

"And, you're the only one that can put up with his juvenile humor for extended periods of time," Auron added.

"Wait just a minute!" Rikku scowled. "Are you trying to say something about me?"

"You're very patient," Braska chipped in with a smile.

Well, that was that. Auron and Braska must've patched things up if they were feeling confident enough to double-team her. "Patient, huh?" she asked. Having years of practice with Tidus would make _anyone_ patient. "Maybe," she hedged. "But I already talked to Jecht about his problems while we were in Luca. I can't help him out with this one." So much had happened since their conversation that it seemed like a distant memory, but one thing stood out. "Jecht said it to me himself. When you need a shoulder to cry on, Braska's your man." Braska looked surprised, and she grinned at him. "You should go instead."

Jecht strode out onto the deck again, freed of his luggage. He took one look at them and stomped up the steps to the ship's observatory, shoulders sloped.

"I don't know what I can do if I don't understand what's troubling him. But, perhaps I can offer a new perspective on whatever it may be." Braska sighed. "I'll try my best." With a brief nod, he left them, moving towards the observatory deck.

Rikku watched him disappear up the steps after Jecht. "Braska's pretty good at talking to people, right?"

"He is," Auron confirmed. "Braska played a significant role in the Church's aggressive push for world unity. It's the main reason Mika still tolerates him despite his disgrace; he was crucial for the Ronso conversion. He even worked with the Guado for some time before they sent him to the Al Bhed."

She puffed up, feeling a surge of ridiculous pride. "So you mean my people are the ones that finally knocked some sense into him, huh?"

"Don't be so confident," Auron chided her. "Braska absorbed everything the other races had to teach during his visits. They softened him up long before he even reached the sands of Bikanel." He snaked an arm out and pulled her to his side, his hand wrapping around her waist. "It's fortunate for me that his track record is less than stellar with the Al Bhed."

"You don't seem so upset at him anymore," she hedged.

"We cleared the air." He leaned in and nipped at her earlobe, his breath warm and heavy. "But I'd appreciate it if you continue to reject his advances." He was making the argument unfair, trying to overwhelm her with his presence.

It was definitely working.

She uncrossed her eyes and focused on having a conversation instead of melting into a pile of shameless need in front of the entire crew. "Ah… I don't think he's gonna be making many more. Especially when you're getting so touchy-feely in public," she added. "Not that I'm complaining!"

Auron grunted in amusement and relaxed his hold, though his fingers lingered on one of her arms. "It's Braska. Keep your guard up. I'm warning both of you: I am not a tolerant man."

"Not a very patient one either," she laughed, poking him in the side as he pushed her towards the stairs leading below deck. "I'm with you now. Which means I hope you got us our own room, because otherwise they'll be sleeping outside tonight." They dodged a few passengers on the way to the cabins, and she blushed as an older woman they passed gave her a knowing smile. "Can you be any more obvious, by the way?" she hissed.

He ignored her as they reached their cabin. "Yes, but that would be obscene." He swung the door open and waited for her to enter. "Step inside. I have an interrogation to conduct."

"Oh?" Rikku froze in the door frame, having an inkling about Auron's curiosity. She was very proud of herself for managing to keep a straight face, though she couldn't stop the slight bounce in her step when she spun to face him. "I thought that was over after last night?"

"You thought wrong." He pushed her into the cabin. "Magic lessons? Really? What are you hiding?"

She skipped out of his reach and clasped her hands behind her back. "You'll have to squeeze it out of me," she warned, swaying in place.

Auron smiled and shut the door behind him. "I'm good at that."

**.x.x.x.**

Jecht was brooding. It was an unusual look for him. He sat on the deck, cross-legged, chin in his palm. To anyone who knew him well, he seemed a different man, so quiet and withdrawn as he'd become.

Braska sighed and placed the recording sphere on the ground. It flickered to life – odd – but he shrugged and let it be, returning his attention to the Blitzer. "Quite a view up here."

Twitching, Jecht looked over his shoulder. "Oh. Hey, B. You come up here to talk some sense into me?"

"Do I need to?" Braska replied. "What's troubling you?"

Jecht squinted at him. "Rikku didn't tell you the score yet, huh?" He nodded at Braska's silence. "Here's a deal: you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine. 'Til then, it's my problem."

"Friendship doesn't work that way," Braska scolded. "If it's something I can help you with, I'd willingly offer my services. Sometimes even just talking about your problems can help lighten them." He spread his hands. "And I'm a good listener."

Jecht sighed and rubbed his head. "See, why do ya gotta be so nice all the time? You're makin' me feel like a dick here."

Braska grinned at him. "Does this mean you're willing to talk with me? If not, I can try harder."

Snorting, Jecht shook his head. He looked at the deck below and frowned. "I thought if I went with you guys I might find a way to go back. But it's not that easy." He drummed his fingers over the wooden planks. "I need to get back there, but I don't think I can go home anymore. Your world's… changed me."

Braska tilted his head. "My world? You mean modern-day Spira?"

Jecht laughed at that. "You call this modern, huh? Half the world is scrapin' by in backwater huts, worshippin' some cult that does jack-all for 'em against the mother of all fiends while waitin' to get killed off." He paused. "No offense."

"None taken," Braska told him. "You are not wrong. But… there is always the hope, that this time something will change. That we may live to tell the tale of defeating Sin once and for all. And even if it does not happen, we are buying the rest of the world the respite they need to marshall their forces until we can." He sighed. "I admit, it is not a perfect system, but we cannot simply sit back and refuse to try."

"Are we even makin' a difference, though? Does anything we're doin' matter in the end?"

"I'm staking my life on the belief that it does," Braska replied.

"That still don't get me any closer to my boy, though."

"I'm sorry." He placed a hand on Jecht's shoulder. "I hope your son realizes what a good father he has."

For some reason, that made Jecht laugh. He pushed Braska's hand off and rose to his feet. "No need to apologize, B. It ain't your fault." Cracking his neck, he turned to face the summoner with a familiar arrogant grin on his face. "I should be thinking about fightin' Sin now, anyway. Zanarkand can wait." The grin slipped a little, and something harsher glinted in his eyes. "But I will find my way back."

Braska knew the look Jecht was giving him; it was one he often saw in the mirror. The determination of a man possessed, and not always with an idea that was healthy – or safe. "Be careful, Jecht." _This is a dangerous road you're walking down._

Jecht stared at Braska for a moment, weighing his words. His smile reappeared. " 'ey, I'll be alright. You're the one who should be careful. Wouldn't want your little girl to cry."

_All of us, so tangled in this web of lies we have spun around each other._ Braska thought of Yuna, alone in Bevelle, waiting eagerly to hear news of his success; his daughter was very much like Jecht in that regard. She didn't yet seem to realize what victory would mean. He turned away, hiding his sardonic grin. "She'll be all right. She's strong, like her mother was."

_I'm slipping._ He bent to retrieve the sphere, struggling to mask the tension on his face. _It was never this hard to lead them where I wanted to before._ Shutting down the recording, he nearly dropped the sphere in surprise when a heavy arm fell across his shoulders.

"Listen, B. Whatever's eatin' ya this time, just forget about it. Once we get to Zanarkand, everything will work itself out just fine." Jecht gave him a thumbs up. "You'll see!"

Blinking at Jecht's mercurial attitude change, Braska struggled to match the other man's sunny smile. _Perhaps I am not the only one skilled at wearing masks._ "I am sure it will," he managed weakly.

"That's the spirit. Keep tellin' yourself that and you can make it happen." Jecht released him and yawned loudly, scratching his head. "Wonder if they got anythin' to eat on this pleasure cruise? C'mon, let's go find out!"

Braska's rigid smile eased into something more natural as he smirked at Jecht. "Always thinking with your stomach, are you? I'll join you in a minute."

"Whatever." Jecht shrugged. "Just don't take too long mopin' up here by yourself, or I'll take your share too."

"Wasn't I the one who was supposed to comfort you?" Braska muttered under his breath. Shaking his head, he turned and followed Jecht down the steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After debating a bit about where and how to change Braska’s dialogue with one of my betas, I decided to drop this little Easter Egg (badum-tisch!) for readers here: When Braska is lying, he speaks very formally. When he’s comfortable or being honest, he uses contractions. I did retroactively adjust the entire fiction when I was revamping it to ensure that his speech followed that pattern. So if you ever re-read this story, you can keep that in mind when you read Braska’s dialogue.


	46. A Heap of Huts

Rikku rubbed her eyes and stretched, drinking in the fresh morning air on the Liki’s deck. 

The evening had passed uneventfully – as uneventfully as sharing a room with Auron could ever be – and now, the island of Besaid was in sight. Shallow sea shelves, lined with bursts of rainbow coral, necessitated a circuitous route around the island, despite its close proximity to Kilika. It was almost as long as the trip from Luca to Kilika would have been, had Sin not interrupted their journey. 

Nostalgic, she watched Besaid’s scenic shoreline pass by; she’d made the very same trip herself countless times on her cutter, back in the year following Yuna’s Pilgrimage.

_ That was a rough time. _ Rikku winced. She’d run away, fast as she could, when things had settled down. Run from the whiplash of realizing they’d lost Auron  _ before he’d even joined the Pilgrimage _ . Run from the memory of Tidus disappearing without so much as a by-your-leave. 

Yunie was the one who’d been  _ really _ ripped in two by it, but she’d put on a strong face and stayed in Besaid, dealing as best she could with the fallout generated from toppling a thousand-year-old world order.

Rikku hadn’t been that brave. Auron and Tidus were gone, and in the wake of the Eternal Calm, there’d finally been enough time for the loss of both Home and Keyakku to settle in. Brother disowned himself from Cid, unwilling to fill his role as Keyakku’s disappointing shadow while her father attempted to rebuild Home. She’d chosen to flee on her own ship with Gippal and his Machine Faction backing her efforts, using the flimsy, yet effective, excuse of “teaching.”

Still, something always brought her back to Besaid. Yuna didn’t deserve to suffer from the crazy in her extended family, but Rikku wanted to make sure Yunie realized she still  _ was  _ part of a family – one that disapproved of the slew of marriage proposals thrust towards their heartbroken cousin. 

She still thought Yuna’s decision to run away and join the Gullwings was the best one she’d ever made.

Rikku gulped in the clean, salty air. It hadn’t been easy, but she missed those days. She smiled, surprised; it hadn’t seemed like such a great time to her then, as an awkward sixteen-year-old who was disillusioned in more ways than one. But she’d been free, and she’d sailed those seas like she owned them, with Yuna as her anchor in Besaid.

The soft breeze whipped her hair into her eyes; pushing her braids away from her face, she thought about how far she’d come from those days. Calmer, more mature, less accident-prone –

“Look out!”

Something slammed into the back of her head, knocking her over. She kissed the deck and groaned, before pushing herself up on her elbows. A blitzball rolled away from her, Jecht’s scrawling signature taunting her as it tumbled past.

“Oops! Sorry, ya? Didn’t see you there!” The man – a native to Besaid, judging by his accent and complete lack of aim – bowed in apology and scooped up his blitzball.

Rikku stood, one hand clenching.  _ Right in the middle of an inner monologue _ , she fumed, scanning the deck for Jecht. Instead, she spotted Braska, sitting against the mast and holding back laughter, eating Wakka’s favorite local pudding for breakfast.

“Please don’t look at me that way. I had little to do with Jecht’s dispersal of blitzballs this morning.” He held up his hands in appeasement and sent a Cure spell her way.

“Tell me where he is,” she demanded, only slightly mollified by the disappearance of her headache. “I’ll show him where he can put those extra blitzballs!”

“I haven’t seen him.” Braska busied himself with his food.

She narrowed her eyes.  _ Taro root pudding is not  _ **_that_ ** _ interesting. _ “Are you covering for him? Why?”

Braska’s smile revealed nothing of his thoughts – or Jecht’s potential whereabouts. “Jecht is in his element. Why don’t we allow him to enjoy this moment while he has it? Besides,” he added, “Besaid truly loves Blitzball. I’ve never seen such devotion to a home team, not even in Luca.”

Rikku thought about the Aurochs with a wince. “Too bad about their losing streak.”

“Whether they win or lose isn’t important.” Braska tilted his head at her surprised look. “They always try to do their best. I can appreciate their spirit. I’m sure they will be rewarded for their tenacity one day.”

“Uh huh.” She crossed her arms. “I’m gonna put money on them having a  _ really long _ dry spell.” Her stomach rumbled, undermining her brief moment of victory for besting Braska’s game of subtexts.

He patted the ground next to him. “Sit, please. I’ve had my fill, and it looks as though you’ve worked up an appetite. Besides, there is another rather pressing matter I need to address.”

“Hmm,” she said, joining him. “No funny business!” Auron’s reprimand still rang in her ears.

“I’ll leave that to Auron,” Braska replied, handing over his bowl. “Where is he? I thought you two were joined at the hip.”

Rikku choked a little.  _ If a snark-off is what he wants, then that’s what he’s gonna get _ . She sniffed and swirled her spoon around the bowl. “I know, right? Mister up-and-at-’em is having another lie-in today. I guess I tired him out.”

“What a joy it must be, to be so young and  _ vigorously _ in love,” Braska answered without missing a beat.

“Tell me about it! It was a  _ long, hard _ night but somehow we managed to push through it together.” She smiled innocently at Braska.

“So I gather. I do hope my  _ lessons _ on the importance of listening to others’  _ needs _ have been getting through to Auron. I am sure they would be most beneficial to you. Both,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

Rikku’s eyebrow twitched.  _ He can’t be seriously talking about – _

“How is your head doing, by the way?” Braska continued, his face placid. “That was a fairly sound knock that blitzball delivered to you. Would you like me to take another look at it?” He paused, tapping his chin. “Or perhaps you might desire Auron to handle you. It would be an excellent test of his  _ nascent  _ skills.”

“Auron’s  _ skills _ aren’t  _ nascent! _ ” she spluttered. “I’m pretty sure I’m the better judge of that!”

Braska’s guileless blink made her pause. “I was merely speaking of healing, Rikku. There is no need to be so defensive, now is there?” His eyes twinkled. “Or is there something  _ else _ you would like to talk about? Do you mean to say Auron needs my assistance now? Is that why he is not here? What in Spira did you two  _ do _ last evening, anyway?”

_ All right, I lose _ , she thought, feeling her face heat. “I can’t believe I’m making weird innuendos about this with you! Is there a point to this conversation?”

Braska chuckled, then sobered. “That  _ is _ my point.” He sat forward and faced her. “You  _ are _ both young and in love. Have you thought through the consequences of your actions?”

She stared. “This from you?”

“I think I know better than most how much one’s feelings can impair one’s judgement.” 

_ At least  _ **_he_ ** _ looks uncomfortable for once. _

“I am also a trained healer. Auron is not.” He waited, and when Rikku said nothing, his cheeks reddened. “I am not saying I would be unwilling to offer my services… as a healer,” he added when her expression darkened. “But may I suggest that you have this discussion with Auron first, before that becomes necessary?”

Rikku continued to stare, the pudding forgotten.  _ Did seeing Auron and I finally get together make him crack? What’s he talking about? _

Braska continued to look more and more discomfited as she remained silent – looking at her, then the sky, and finally fiddling with his robes – before blurting, “ _ Children _ , Rikku. I’m speaking of the creation of life.”

Rikku froze.  _ Kids? _ Truth be told, the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. With everything that’d been thrown at them, she was happy enough that her love life was finally straightening out. 

Now, Braska was finding a way to transform even that into rising panic. 

_ KIDS _ , her mind repeated with emphasis.

It was also supplying helpful images: scores of tiny, blond-haired Aurons swarming underfoot, their faces drawn into scowls as they smashed pointed sticks and chubby fingers against everything that moved.

_ Owwie. _ A distant part of her mind registered the sharp pain as she collapsed against the deck; it wasn’t a good day for the back of her head, apparently. Braska hovered over her with a look of concern, a healing spell at his fingertips.

“Rikku?”

It wasn’t her overactive imagination that put her in a dazed stupor; it was the sudden, unexpected clench in her belly that moved, fluttering, towards her throat.

_ I don’t  _ **_not_ ** _ like that idea. _

Then the alarm bells started wailing in her brain. Her answer to Braska was an expletive so colorful it made him blush.

“Rikku – ” 

“Nope,” she said, standing and immediately pacing. She held her face, continuing to curse, switching to Al Bhed.  _ “Rumo credcdelgc! E ys cu vilgat! _ Brother’s  _ kuhhy gemm sa! Ra’mm gemm _ Auron! _ ” _

“I don’t believe anyone can kill Auron,” Braska told her in appeasement. “At least not over the matter of your honor. Now please sit, you’re drawing undue attention.”

Suddenly numb, Rikku plopped back down next to Braska. “I can’t spawn yet!” Then her head shot up, eyes wild. “What if it’s already happened? I need to find Auron! No, wait, I need to hide from Auron!” She wailed, “I’m not  _ ready _ !”

“Breathe.” Braska placed a hand on her shoulder. “In and out,” he directed, guiding her through the calming technique. “There’s nothing to be gained by panicking at this point. What’s done is done and my concerns may be baseless.”

She latched onto his words. “You’re the strongest white mage I know! Can you check? Like, right now?” She wanted to kick herself for the hope in her voice, but she was feeling pretty desperate.

He went quiet, then nodded slowly. “I suppose I could try. Lean back and hold still,” he instructed, extending his hands – suffused in a soft green flow – over her lower abdomen. 

His power coiled around her. 

Since Baaj, there was something like a  _ flavor _ to his magic now; whether it was from the kisses he had “enhanced” or the fully charged Life spell he’d poured into her, she wasn’t sure. But she could tell it was  _ Braska _ casting the spell, warm and probing. He wasn’t attempting to stimulate or overwhelm; his face was stilled in concentration, eyes half-closed. 

Finally, his magic withdrew with one last caress.

She shivered. “Well?”

Braska shook his head and she wilted against the mast, unsure if in relief or disappointment. 

_ In relief _ , she scolded herself firmly. Not firmly enough, from the look he gave her.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Rikku closed her eyes and flapped a hand at him. “It’s okay, I’m – it’s better this way.” She took a deep breath and held it, letting her racing heart slow. “We’ll… we’ll be more careful in the future.”

Braska sighed. “You don’t have to be, if this is what you want. You’d make a fine mother, if just because you care to be one.” He gave her an encouraging smile. “But speak with Auron first. Decisions like these aren’t yours alone to make.”

Still feeling humbled and foolish, she picked up the abandoned bowl of pudding and dug in. 

He looked away. 

Without the sudden panic buffeting her, she frowned and studied the contents of her bowl, unsettled.  _ That… was more than just a little mean, wasn’t it? _ Although Braska was willing to do her favors if she asked, forcing him to use his magic like that when she  _ knew _ how he felt was a new low. She cast about for something to say, because “ _ Oops! Sorry! _ ” seemed inadequate. 

Finally, she settled on neutral territory: Jecht’s observation. “So, you were a missionary, right?”

Braska blinked and looked back at her, clearly surprised. “Yes, that’s right. Why do you ask?”

“Well, that means you had to convince people to believe in the stuff you told them.”

“You make it sound so mercenary.” Braska relaxed. “I believed in my words, you must understand. You cannot convert anyone with empty lies and false promises. People can sense sincerity. I would have had no luck otherwise.”

“I know, but I mean… I’m just trying to understand why you’re  _ so bad _ with money when you’re so  _ good _ at handling people.” Rikku shrugged at his affronted look. “You get walked over by every single merchant you meet.”

“How do you know that’s true?” he asked with a frown.

“How much did you pay for your new shoes?” 

Braska’s frown deepened while studying his shoes. “Supporting Kilika’s economy is a noble endeavor.” His look of displeasure faded into honest contemplation. “But if you must know, the Church paid all of my expenses when I was a priest. Handling money was never my concern.” 

“That explains a lot.”

“I suppose I don’t know the value of gil. And I prefer to believe that most people in Spira are good and have our best interests at heart.”

“Nobody has your best interests at heart when it comes to money,” she told him. “It’s a fiend-eat-fiend world out there.”

He smiled. “Then, I suppose being taken in by merchants is the price I have to pay for rejecting your pessimistic attitude.”

She groaned. “We both know I’m right, but you’re still making me sound like the bad guy here! How do you  _ do _ that?”

“Years of practice,” Braska told her, smug. “So, would you happen to be interested in learning more about the Church of Yevon?” His playful smile faded as he focused on something over her shoulder. “Ah, perhaps another time.”

Rikku turned and watched Auron approaching them. He looked well-rested and relaxed.

She grimaced.  _ That’s about to change. _ “Hey,” she greeted.

“Braska. Rikku.” He zeroed in on the bowl of pudding in her hands. “Is that breakfast?”

Braska smirked and pushed himself to his feet. “I apologize for my rudeness, but if you would excuse me? Rikku has something to discuss with you, and I believe you’ll be wanting some privacy.” He gave her an encouraging nod and moved away.

Auron settled in Braska’s spot and took the bowl from her, eyeing its contents with a look of distaste. “Southern cuisine,” he muttered without enthusiasm. Grabbing the spoon reluctantly, he watched Braska’s retreat. “What was that about?”

“Don’t start eating yet,” she warned. She felt a little sorry for the bowl; it was fast becoming Spira’s most passed-over breakfast. “I need to tell you something important.”

“This bodes well,” Auron said, lowering the spoon. “What is it?”

“Well, it’s more of a question really,” she hedged, scratching her cheek.

“Out with it.”

Rikku swallowed. “So… how do you feel about kids?”

He dropped the bowl, sending the remaining pudding to its final resting place across the planks. She allowed herself a short sulk; Auron cottoned onto things a lot faster than she did.

Surprise and panic flashed across his face. “Are you – ” 

“Oh! No, no-no! At least Braska doesn’t think so.” 

Auron sagged in relief.

“…You  _ really _ don’t want to have children, do you?”

“I’ve never considered it.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I feel like a fool. I apologize.”

“Not just you,” she said. “I panicked too, at first. But then, you know… I thought about it, and would it really be all that bad? Bringing a little piece of both of us into this world together?”

“Yes,” Auron replied without hesitation.

Rikku struggled to mask her sudden dismay. Granted, her first response had been almost exactly the same, but still.... 

He sighed. “You’re getting things wrong again.”

Rikku scoffed, unable to meet his gaze. “What? It was just a question. No biggie.” Thick pudding oozed across the deck as she tried to resist the urge to flee from Auron. It didn’t work, so she leapt to her feet. “I better get something to clean that up with.”

His hand wrapped around her forearm and he brought her back down to the deck with a thump. “Rikku. Listen to me.” His grip loosened and he traced his thumb down her wrist until he was clasping her hand. “If I were to consider that as an option, you would be my first choice.”

“Wow. Romantic,” she deadpanned. Still, she allowed him to pull her to his side.

“I’m a soldier,” Auron replied. “I’ve always expected to die young and violently. I never planned for a life beyond my duty. Being in the service of Braska, rather than the Church, hasn’t changed that.”

Rikku frowned, discomfited. “You almost sound like Braska.”

“Hardly.” Auron grunted. “I don’t seek my own death, but I still manage to find it for my opponents often enough. I can’t live a peaceful life, Rikku.” He sighed. “It’s cruel, perhaps, but I’m not about to change my mind in the midst of the largest and longest battle I’ve ever fought.”

“You mean Sin.” She squeezed her eyes shut, angry.

“Your offer is one neither of us can afford.” His hand tightened around hers, as if to soften his words.

It didn’t help. So what if it  _ she _ wasn’t the problem? Auron was still trapped, just like Braska and Jecht and everyone else in Spira – trapped by the shadow of fear Sin cast over everything. 

She’d gone soft in the few hopeful years after Yuna’s Pilgrimage – been freed from that fatalistic mindset. Frustration built in her chest until she thought it would come spewing out of her throat. It  _ was _ cruel; to be shown a glimpse of a future she hadn’t even known she wanted, only to have it crushed before it could become more than a fleeting idea. 

Because Auron was right, and she knew it. It wasn’t right, bringing an innocent child into a world ravaged by Sin. She’d just…  _ forgotten _ .

Rikku turned her head into Auron’s shoulder and hugged him.

“I wish it could be otherwise,” he said, stroking her back.

That was maybe the most unfair thing of all. 

“I don’t want to complete this Pilgrimage,” she said, her voice rough. “Besaid is the last temple we need to visit, right? Can’t we stop this? All of us, just forget about finishing it and live normal lives?”

“What life could be normal when we’re forced to live like this?” Auron’s sigh did little to hide the anger and frustration in it. “We’ll change things. Braska and I, we’ll fix this broken world. I’ll make sure we do.” 

Rikku blinked, understanding just a little more of the puzzle that was Auron – he wasn’t following Braska out of blind loyalty alone. “You  _ want _ to finish this Pilgrimage. You want to kill Sin.” She paused. “Even though it will kill Braska, too?”

“We can’t choose how others want to live and die, but I’ve made mine.” The certainty in Auron’s voice tapered off, and his words sounded more like a reassurance to himself, rather than an answer. “I’ll find a way to ensure Braska’s survival. I  _ must. _ ”

_ Not just Braska _ . Somewhere along the way, she’d invested too many pieces of herself in all of them. Jecht and his stupid blitzballs, Auron and his unyielding certainty. The realization of Auron’s ideal future – of a happy and Sin-free Spira – was growing more and more distant in Rikku’s mind.  _ Does that make me a bad person? _ She wondered if he would still love her if he knew of the betrayal she was flirting with. The entire drama surrounding Baaj would pale in comparison. Heck, what would Braska and Jecht say – it was  _ their _ childrens’ futures she was thinking of throwing away.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she answered with an uncertain smile. “Here’s to hoping.”

**.x.x.x.**

Besaid’s sparkling, white-sand beach was just as beautiful as Rikku remembered. She spread her arms, unable to hold in her laugh as she spun around. “I love this place!” 

Whirling, she squinted against the glare of the sun. The image was so familiar, she almost thought she could see Wakka on the dock, a blitzball under one arm and waving with the other.

“What’s gotten into ya?” The mirage wavered and reshaped itself into Jecht, who tossed the blitzball into the air with a grin. “Not that I can blame ya. This is great!” He leapt forward and kicked the ball towards her, and Rikku ducked out of the way. “Hell, who’d even wanna practice blitzin’ here? Let’s get straight to the surfin’!”

Auron cuffed Jecht on the back, forcing him down the pier towards the beach. “We’re not here for your amusement. The village of Besaid is a long hike away from the dock. If we want to reach it before nightfall, we should set out soon.”

Braska followed behind, taking in the bright sky and calm blue sea. “There’s no hurry, Auron. We’ll be spending a few days here regardless. We may as well enjoy ourselves.” He looked around, smiling. “It’s so very different from Bevelle.”

“That’s because only a handful of people live here,” Auron reminded. “The temple is the only thing keeping this settlement alive.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Braska replied, watching one of the native women tending to a fishing net; a few children ran along the beach, buzzing with excitement. “There’s something compelling about living so far removed from the bustle of the larger cities.”

“Compelling?” Auron nodded towards the children, who were now dancing around Jecht as he passed out the remainder of his blitzballs. “I would be surprised if they could read.”

“Oh come on!” Rikku shoved her elbow into Auron’s side. “Just because we’re on the edge of civilization doesn’t mean they’re all illiterate. Give Besaid a little credit!”

“They  _ are _ famous for their beadwork and fabrics here, but they’ve little else to offer.”

“It may not be perfect,” Braska replied, clucking his tongue. “But look at how happy they are. Have you ever seen children in Bevelle that lively?” 

Surprised shouts sounded as Jecht performed the Mark III for the kids. The ball whistled through the air – toward them.

“Look out,” Braska shouted.

Auron and Braska dove; Rikku stared in horror at the approaching ball. 

_ Holy machina  _ —

It hit her in the stomach, sending her flying off the pier and into the sand. It stung, but not nearly as much as her pride. Coughing and spitting, she sat up, holding the blitzball in trembling hands. “ _ Ra'c y tayt syh. _ ” Sucking in her breath, she bellowed, “JECHT!”

“Uh-oh. She sounds like Auron,” he said. 

Only Braska’s loud laugh stopped her from exacting her revenge. “It feels  _ lighter _ here,” he said quietly before raising his voice. “Jecht! Please remember to set a good example for the children while you practice.”

“Come and apologize to Rikku before I  _ also _ begin to practice,” Auron added, cracking his knuckles.

Jecht approach her with a hangdog expression, surrounded by a hoard of giggling children. “Yeah, so, that was the Mark III in action.” He eyed her with a wary look. “Sorry ‘bout that Blondie. Thought you could take the hit.”

_ Was that a smirk just now? He’s so dead. _ “Ahaha! Sure thing! Now, watch closely,” she said to the children with a bright smile. “I’ll show you how to perform a tackle!”

“Wait, ya really don’t need to do that, Blon– OW! OWW! GET OFFA ME!  _ UNCLE! _ ”

Auron cleared his throat and glared at them.

She looked up from where she’d landed – on Jecht’s back – and carefully withdrew her knee from its spot between his shoulderblades.

“That looked like it hurt, ya?” one of the boys observed. “I’m not sure I wanna be a forward anymore.”

Jecht lifted his head and spat sand. “That’s ‘cause you’re only supposed to do that underwater.” He rolled to his feet, knocking Rikku off in the process, and thrust his chest out. “But it ain’t that easy to take down Sir Jecht, best Blitzball player in all Spira!”

“What he’s saying is build your endurance, munchkins.” She smirked. “If you wanna be like Jecht, you’re gonna need to learn to take a  _ lot _ of hits.”

“Enough,” Auron called, beginning to walk from the pier. “You can return to the beach later. Let’s get to the village first.”

There was a chorus of cheerful goodbyes as Rikku and Jecht caught up with Auron and Braska. Braska was grinning at them. “Really. You two are as bad as the children.”

  
“He started it,” she grumbled, shaking sand out of her hair.

“Aww, c’mon, it was fun.” Jecht grabbed his pack out of Auron’s hands. “So tell me more about Besaid.”

“Ask Braska,” she told him, still annoyed. “You know, you’re lucky I was in a good mood earlier. I almost decided not to give you this, since you used me for target practice.  _ Jerk. _ ” She pulled a wide, plain metal bracelet out of her pouch and handed it to Jecht. “Try it on, it’s a new piece of armor I tooled up earlier. I made it just for you.”

“What’s it do?”

“It helps with the fiends.” 

“Huh,” Jecht said, slipping the accessory on. “Well, I don’t feel different.” 

“You’ll see,” she assured him. “Now stay back here, I’ll help Auron clear the path ahead. And before you get any big ideas about sneaking up on us, I’ll be pretending everything we bust up is  _ you _ , so leave us alone. Don’t even  _ think _ about trying the Mark III again!”

“Touchy,” he groused.

Auron nodded at her. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Just a little warning though,” she said with a furtive glance over her shoulder. “Walk fast.”

“Should I even ask? …do I need to worry about Braska?”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Rikku said with a broad smile. “Now let’s go-go-go!”

**.x.x.x.**

Auron and Rikku took point through the passage ascending to the jungle. 

“Besaid was a great metropolis over a thousand years ago,” Braska said to Jecht. “The Church’s records claim it was once the seat of power for training future Summoners. Little is left of that legacy today, besides the Temple of Wind. The village that shares its name is now hidden in the depths of the older ruins.” He gestured at the worn stone steps and overgrown columns decorating the rocky path. “Besaid, as it stands today, may be one of the smallest permanent settlements left in Spira.”

“Huh,” said Jecht, pushing aside a vine. 

The path meandered towards a bridge that passed a roaring waterfall. A tough-shelled fiend ambled onto the path, marring the scenic overlook’s beauty, but Auron quickly batted it over the edge of the walkway. 

“ ‘Cept for the usual fiends, seems kinda peaceful here.”

A Garuda swooped down and both men squinted as a dressphere activated with a flash of light. Auron rubbed his head, looking annoyed while Rikku’s loud laughter echoed. The sound of machine gun fire and explosions filled the air, and, when the bird wavered and dropped to the ground, Auron finished it with a single swing of his sword.

“Mostly peaceful,” Braska agreed. “The high concentration of fiends here today is likely due to the bulk of Besaid’s population attending the Tournament in Luca. With no one patrolling the road, the journey may be a bit more trying, though it’s not a difficult one.” 

A Flan wibbled its way towards them. 

Braska fried it with a Holy spell. “Although this is a bit excessive.” 

A Dingo and a Condor rushed out of the forest together, ignoring Auron and Rikku and barreling straight towards them.

“No sweat,” Jecht said, drawing his own sword. “I been practicin’, I can keep up with those two! Leave this to me.” He rushed forward to meet the wild dog and swung his sword out in a wide chop; the fiend dissolved into pyreflies. The flyer was a little trickier; Jecht had to take a few swipes at it before he landed a hit. He gave Braska a thumbs up when he was finished. “See? Told ya so.”

“Behind you,” Braska said, pointing.

Jecht scowled as another two Condors flapped towards them. A Flan struggled to keep up. “You guys want more of this? Well, bring it on!” He charged into battle with an eager yell.

“Something is strange about this,” Braska murmured, leaving Jecht behind as he quickened his pace.

**.x.x.x.**

They’d made good time down the path, as per Rikku’s instructions; Auron held up a hand to slow her down, squinting. “Wait.” He tilted his head towards Braska, hurrying towards them.

“What exactly is going on?” Braska managed to say, struggling to catch his breath.

Rikku leaned over and looked down the path. “Jecht’s not with you?” At the shake of Braska’s head, she grinned.  _ Payback is golden! _ “Good. But, uh, we should keep moving.”

“I take it your hurry is somehow related to Jecht’s irresistible appeal to the fiends?” Braska paused. “And you might have warned me,” he added with a touch of indignation.

“Like the fiends here are anything to worry about,” she scoffed.

Auron grunted at her. “How?”

“That bracelet I gave him,” she answered, skipping a little with pride. “I designed it myself. I call it a Lure Bracer. Well, you can see what it does…” She pointed at the bridge behind them. Jecht was racing across it, chased by a flock of squawking Condors. His bare feet looked splattered with blue.

“Is that Flan goo?” Auron muttered in confusion. “Fiends turn into pyreflies when they’re slain. How did he manage – ”

The question was answered as the bridge Jecht crossed was suddenly swarmed by a mass of undulating blue Flans, wobbling after him.

“Oopsie?” Rikku said, scratching her head. “I guess it works a little too well.”

Braska eyed the parade of Flans with baffled awe. “I’ve never seen so many in one place.”

Auron’s face darkened into a scowl. “I’m going to have to deal with this, aren’t I?”

  
She pouted. “Don’t blame me! Jecht hit me with those blitzballs one time too many, okay?”

“I think we can safely blame you for this,” Auron replied, drawing his sword.

“Technically that fisherman from Besaid was the one who hit you,” Braska reminded. He raised his staff and blasted the first wave of the crossing fiends with another Holy spell, buying Jecht some respite.

“He’s still guilty by association,” she grumbled, taking down one of the Condors with an Ice spell of her own.

Auron waited at the end of the bridge, positioning himself as a human chokepoint. “’ _ It’ll be just like a vacation _ ,’ she said. ‘ _ I’ll teach you how to swim _ ,’ she said,” he muttered.

“Oh, come on!” She joined Auron and poked him in the shoulder. “We’re in Besaid.”

“Fiends are fiends,” he replied, casting a baleful glare over his shoulder. “And there are more than a few of them following Jecht straight down this path towards the village.” He scowled. “I can see that more training sessions are in order.” He raised his voice and ordered, “Jecht! Keep them away from civilians!”

Jecht glared at Auron incredulously, then turned and ran back over the bridge towards the slow-moving army of Flan, cursing.

Braska peered at Auron. “We’re still quite far from the village.”

Auron relaxed, resting the flat of his blade against his shoulder. “He doesn’t know that.”

Rikku spent another moment watching Jecht wade into the sea of sticky blue creatures, then grinned at Auron. “So back up there.  _ Fiends are fiends _ ? Are they really, though?”

“Is now the time for a philosophical discussion?” Braska asked, sending a healing spell at Jecht.

“Just hear me out for a minute,” she replied. “ ‘Cause I have a theory…”

Auron made a show of leaning against the post of the bridge. “This should be good.” 

Behind him, Jecht wailed and Braska raised his staff again, casting. “I used Regen this time, so we should have a few moments. You have a fiend theory?”

“Well,” she began. “The fiends in Besaid are the wimpiest things you’ve ever met, right? They’re even easier than those bugs in Kilika.” Searching the ground, Rikku bent over and picked up a large pebble, tossing it in her palm. “Watch this.” She closed one eye, took aim, and lobbed the stone at a passing Condor, which burst into pyreflies. Nodding in satisfaction, she turned back to her companions. “Even the kids here could kill them.”

Some of them did so as a sport in the future, actually. She’d been responsible for that, seeing as how she couldn’t resist tinkering with the slingshots the hopeful children had gifted her during her stint as a “teacher.” It was easy enough to improve the range and efficiency, as well as their capacity to fire objects larger than pebbles – such as fruit. 

The first time a hut had gotten  _ papayaed _ , Lulu hadn’t been amused.

Shaking her head, she refocused on her theory. “So the real question is,  _ why _ are the fiends in Besaid so weak?”

“Hmm,” Braska mused. “I may have a theory about that myself, but I’d like to hear yours first.”

She waited, but Auron shook his head. “I don’t speculate. My job is to kill them, nothing more.”

“Well, I think it’s related to population density,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “There aren’t so many people here, so there’s less material to deal with when… something happens.” There was a moment of shared silence as everyone recognized  _ something _ as  _ Sin attacks and kills a bunch of people _ . She cleared her throat. “I mean, there’s just not enough pyreflies available to create the greater fiends.”

At that, even Auron perked up in interest.

“See, I’m not really convinced that fiends are made from the resentment of the dead,” Rikku continued. “They’re made from pyreflies. And pyreflies are released from the bodies of people who die. So… basically, since less people die, less powerful fiends are made here.”

Somewhere behind them Jecht howled, as if to disagree.

Braska frowned. “Perhaps. But no matter where or how, death occurs when Sin attacks. The feelings of loss and despair would be the same, whether there were one or many victims. An individual’s strength of will cannot be so easily quantified and measured. It would only take one grief-stricken unsent with an exceptionally strong will to create a fiend of extraordinary power, if what Yevon teaches us is true.”

She hesitated, thinking of Seymour and Yunalesca. Technically, they  _ weren’t _ fiends… were they? She wasn’t sure what she’d call Seymour or Yunalesca’s final forms otherwise. But what did that make Auron? Would he also have been destined to become a fiend if Yuna hadn’t –  _ Stop it. _ “Well, how do  _ you _ explain Besaid then?”

“I suspect it has more to do with the attitude of the people who live here.” Braska paused to send another Cure towards Jecht before resuming their conversation. “How would each of you describe them?”

“Naive,” Auron answered, then grimaced as Braska and Rikku both scowled. “Fine.  _ Innocent. _ ”

_ “C’mere you lil’ shits – OWW! Fuck!  _ **_FUCK!_ ** _ ” _

“Jecht! Language!” Braska shouted.

“Happy-go-lucky!” she said to Braska when he turned back towards them. That described Wakka to a point, and it even applied in some extent to Lulu’s unflappable equilibrium. “They just don’t let  _ anything _ bother them here. Besaid’s full of the most laidback people I’ve ever met!”

“Exactly,” Braska finished with a knowing look. “Innocence. Happiness. The ability to shrug off sorrow and continue living their lives to the fullest. Besaid is a village full of people who have refused to give up and abandon their hope. In doing so, I believe they are protecting their village in a way unique to all of Spira.” He gestured at the fiends still plaguing Jecht.

Rikku observed the battle. Jecht was now being swarmed by the Condors, who were snapping at his long hair. He was still making a mess, stomping his way through a slimy sea of blue Flan, and had abandoned his sword in favor of swinging about with his fists alone. It was a comical way to fight – she had to push down a few snickers watching him flail – but he was still making pyreflies out of almost everything he struck.

“Anywhere else that would be suicidal rather than amusing,” Braska noted. “But here, the spirits of the people of Besaid are keeping him safe. The dead do not hold grudges in this place. There’s no malice left substantial enough to create powerful fiends.”

“Interesting.” Auron straightened. “Maybe both of you are correct. Perhaps those who pass with happiness in their souls can’t be corrupted.”

Braska grinned wolvishly. “Oh? You’ve taken a sudden interest in studying fiend philosophy, I see. Whatever happened to  _ ‘don’t ask me, I just kill ‘em’  _ ?”

Auron snorted. “Don’t mistake my lack of commentary for a lack of interest. I’m not Jecht,” he scoffed. “Speaking of which...” He pointed at Jecht, who had slipped on the Flan goop and was now rolling around on the ground, still raising pyreflies.

Braska sighed and twirled his staff once, bowing his head. Light bloomed and Ixion burst out of the sky. The aeon whinnied and charged across the bridge after Jecht. 

As Ixion met the morass of oozing fiends, he sent a sea of sparks through them, dissolving the remaining bodies into pyreflies. It was over in mere moments and the aeon joined the flood, dissolving into light and releasing Braska from his Rapture.

The Condors were still circling around Jecht, and Auron squinted at them. “Deal with the birds, Rikku. As much as it warms me to see Jecht suffer, this  _ is _ your fault.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she grumbled, raising her hands and channeling the power through her garment grid. A few Thunders later, there was nothing left but pyreflies drifting through the sky and the smell of burnt hair. “Whoops,” she called out to Jecht. “My aim wasn’t so good that time.”

Jecht rose to his feet, panting. He glared, pulling the bracelet off his wrist and holding it up. “Made it just for me, huh?”

She matched his glare, lifting her chin in a challenge. “Yep!”

Jecht eyed the bracelet. “Think you’re pretty clever? Did it take ya a while to cook this one up?”

She preened. “Actually, it did. Lure bracers are a pretty tough bit of synthesis, but I had the right tools on me and you really  _ did _ push it with the blitzball thing – ” 

Jecht tossed the bracelet over his shoulder. It fell with a twinkle into the rapid water below the bridge, carrying it away towards the sea.

“Whoops,” Jecht said, limping past them. “Butterfingers. Maybe it was all that Flan.”

Rikku stared at the waterfall, gaping and making sounds not unlike the Condors that had just been attacking them.

Braska gave her a sympathetic smile. “Well, it was an enlightening conversation. Thank you for that.” He trailed after Jecht, sending out another Cure spell.

Auron lifted a finger to snap her mouth shut. “You two  _ are _ worse than children,” he said, amused.

**.x.x.x.**

Besaid was… underwhelming, to say the least. The arched gate to the “village” protected nothing more than a smattering of simple huts, even fewer than Rikku had seen when Yuna lived there. It was all but abandoned, save for the temple clergy, the very young, and the very old. 

She might have called it a ghost town if the tiny collection of huts could even be considered a  _ town _ .

Braska looked over the village with a hopeful glint in his eye. He turned to Auron and opened his mouth.

“Yes,” Auron sighed, preparing the sphere that Rikku pushed into his waiting hands. “I know,  _ for Yuna _ .” He held it up as it buzzed to life.

Jecht strode out into the center of the village and looked around. “Smallest heap o’ huts I ever seen,” he grumbled, unimpressed.

Braska stood next to him, clearly seeing something the rest of them didn’t. “Now,  _ this _ looks like a fine place to live. Hmm…”

Jecht gave Braska the side-eye and walked away. 

Braska continued to study the village before turning back towards the gate. “Auron,” he called out, smile forming.

“Uh-oh,” she muttered. “I know that tone. Wanna run?”

“Let’s see what he wants first,” Auron replied in an undertone. “Yes?” he asked Braska.

Braska’s smile faltered. “Come now. I am not about to ask you to do something  _ completely _ unreasonable. Do you not trust me?”

“That’s a loaded question. What is it?”

Braska turned back towards the village. “I am serious. When this is over…” He paused. “Could you bring Yuna here?”

Auron straightened in shock. “ _ Here? _ Besaid? But my lord… there’s  _ nothing _ here.”

“Define  _ nothing _ , Auron,” Braska said. “I see a village full of hope, peace and beauty. I see a place where Yuna will be able to grow on her own, protected from the machinations of Bevelle. I see a village where my daughter will not be made an outcast for the color of her eyes.” His expression turned pained. “Is it really so difficult to understand? I want her to live a life far away from this conflict.”

Auron fell silent. Rikku realized after a moment that he was contemplating Braska’s request. All the more, Braska seemed to be waiting for his answer, as if it might have some weight in Yuna’s future.

_ Maybe it does _ , she thought, surprised. She knew now that Braska and Auron had been a team for far longer than this Pilgrimage; what  _ had _ happened after Raenn died? She tried to picture it – Braska, freshly cast from the Church and torn with grief, with no means to support his family and no idea of the value of money. 

_ Someone _ must had gotten them through those six years as outcasts in Bevelle.  _ Someone _ who also made a trust fund for Yuna and might have just as much of say in her future as Braska did.

Rikku stared at Auron’s shoulders.  _ You big liar. _

“You have my word,” Auron eventually said. “I’ll bring her here.”

“Thank you, Auron. You’re a good friend.” Braska’s voice was warm with sincerity.

Jecht, oblivious as ever, came stomping back through the moment. “What are you guys doin’?” he complained. “Let’s go! I’m so hungry I could eat a shoopuf whole!”

Braska started. “Sorry. Well, let’s go then.” He nodded one last time at Auron and walked off towards the temple. “Jecht! We don’t eat shoopufs any more than we milk them…”

Auron shut the sphere off, still staring into the ground. He was taking it pretty well, all things considered – being ordered by his best friend to uproot his own life in Bevelle to become a surrogate father to a seven-year old in a two-hut village he clearly held little love for. 

Rikku touched his shoulder. “I bet Yunie thinks you’re a great second dad,” she whispered.

“Hnn,” Auron grunted, putting the sphere away. “Braska believes that, which is all that matters.” He sighed, taking in the village with a bit more interest than before. “I suppose I’d better get to know this place.” He paused, counting. “All seven huts of it.”

“ ‘ey!” Jecht’s voice carried over from the steps of the temple. “They got puddin’ here! C’mon, let’s eat!”

Auron winced. “Pudding.  _ Wonderful. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Rumo credcdelgc! E ys cu vilgat! Brother’s kuhhy gemm sa! Ra’mm gemm Auron!” = “Holy shitsticks! I am so fucked! Brother’s gonna kill me! He’ll kill Auron!”
> 
> “Ra'c y tayt syh.” = “He’s a dead man.”
> 
> For those of you who’ve read “Whistle for the Choir”, yes, indeed, that is Wakka’s beloved pudding.


	47. Ghosts of the Past

Rikku opened her eyes to the sunlit deck of the airship _._ Sitting up, she looked around and sighed. “Not this again. Who is it this time? Yuna? Paine? _Brother_?”  
  
“Oh, hey! Rikku! There you are.” She jerked around. Tidus grinned, one hand raised in a familiar wave. “How’s it going?”  
  
She blinked. Then she pinched herself.  
  
“That doesn’t work in a dream, you know.” He settled by her, still smiling. “Not unless you can make your body pinch yourself in the real world, too. Although, I dunno… muscle memory is a weird thing. Whenever I dream about having to go to the bathroom, I usually wake up – ”  
  
“Okay! I get it!” she said hastily. “You sure sound just like Tidus. What mysterious piece of advice do _you_ have for me? I’ve already dreamt about Braska and Yuna, and Auron and Paine. So when do you turn into Jecht?” She examined him with suspicion. “You’re not hiding a blitzball anywhere, are you? I’m not getting smashed out of this dream by the Mark III if I can help it.”  
  
“You want me to look like my old man? Wait – you dreamt that _Paine_ and _Auron_ were the same person? Your subconscious sure is freaky.” Tidus made a face. “And hey! Give me a little credit! I’d use the Mark II.”  
  
She socked him in the arm. “I miss you guys.”  
  
His grin faded. “Yeah, we know. Yuna’s worried about you. Even Gippal wants to know where you went. He set up a temporary base in Guadosalam; they’re using Leblanc’s mansion. You know, Seymour’s old place.” Tidus grimaced. “Gives me the creeps.”  
  
“Gippal using Seymour’s house or Gippal shacking up with Leblanc?” she asked, smirking.  
  
“Both.” He frowned. “Listen. People are getting really worried. Brother’s handling it the worst. His baby sister’s disappeared, his _other_ brother died, and he’s never gotten along with your pops to begin with, so. You need to finish up and come back home soon. Family’s important.”  
  
“You would know, huh?”  
  
Tidus glared. “Don’t give me a hard time about this! It’s already bad enough picturing you kissing _Auron_. He’s my foster dad, you know!”  
  
Rikku pursed her lips and tapped them. “I never thought of it that way. So… does that make me sorta like your mom now?” She cackled at the look that passed over Tidus’ face. “Nightmares for _decades_ , right? My work here is done!”  
  
“No, I don’t think it is yet.”  
  
There was a tone of solemnity to his words that brought her up short. “What – ”  
  
“Look, I gotta go soon, but… take care of my old man, will you?” Tidus laughed. “It kinda makes me mad, knowing you’re getting along better with him than I ever did. But I guess _everything_ Jecht does makes me mad.”  
  
The field of flowers surrounding the airship began to grow fuzzy. “Tidus?” she asked uncertainly. “...Am I dreaming right now?”  
  
Tidus gave her a wistful smile. “See you around, Rikku.”  


****.x.x.x.** **

  
Rikku shot up in bed, blinking. __What was that?__  
  
“ ‘Bout time you woke up!”  
  
Turning, she stared at Jecht with wide eyes.  
  
“You were sleepin’ like the dead! Broke Auron’s record for lie-ins.” Jecht tilted his head when she didn’t respond. “You feelin’ okay? Your motor mouth don’t usually run outta gas.”  
  
“Shut up, Jecht,” she replied, without any of her usual fire.  
  
His expression slanted into worry. “Okay, I’m callin’ Braska. Auron wasn’t supposed to __actually__ screw your brains out.”  
  
That shook Rikku from her confusion. “I’m fine!” She threw a pillow at Jecht; he grunted when it smacked him in the face. “Why’re you waking me up now anyway?”  
  
“Braska’s gettin’ ready to enter the Cloister soon. You gotta Guardian up or you’re gonna miss it.” He crossed his arms. “Seriously, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  
  
Somehow, she managed a smile. “I think… maybe I did.” Then she noticed where Jecht was __really__ looking. This time it was a brightly-colored pot that smashed into his face. “OUT! OUT!”  
  
“OWW! Fine, will ya just – OWW!” Jecht scurried out of the hut, ducking a few more of the projectiles she sent after him. “It ain’t my fault you sleep in the buff now! Gimmie a break!”  
  
Grumbling about idiots whose names started with 'Je' and ended with 'cht,' she scrambled out of the bed. Donning her clothes and garment grid in record time, she quickly rucked her tangle of hair into its usual ponytail and slipped on her boots. Eying the broken shards of pottery littering the floor, she sighed and swept up the mess with her foot.  
  
__What is it with everyone wanting to comment on Auron and me? Why is it so hard to leave us alone?__  
  
After depositing the trash outside with a silent apology to the owners, she quickly made her way through the tiny village, trying to ignore any detours down memory lane. Her feet slowed as she passed the place where Yuna and Tidus’ hut would stand in the future, eying the mostly-barren patch of land. Shaking her head, she hurried past it and continued on her way.  
  
It was quiet; Besaid was a community of fishers and weavers, usually up on their feet early in the morning. There was little activity in the village at that moment, though, and the silence allowed her mind to drift towards her dream.  
  
Had it really been Tidus? Was there any actual way to check? He hadn’t dissolved into mist or morphed into a figure from the past, unlike all of her other dreams – as if __those__ weren’t weird enough too. This one, however, left her feeling even more lost than the others.  
  
What if it __wasn’t__ just a dream?  
  
It was something to deal with later, though; she’d arrived at the temple and Braska was waiting, standing by one of the pillars flanking the entrance. Jecht was sprawled next to him, soaking up the early sunlight. Even Auron looked unusually relaxed, arms crossed as he leaned against the weathered stone.  
  
“Ah, good morning,” Braska greeted her. “Should I ask about what happened to Jecht’s face?”  
  
“He woke me up,” she said, directing a glare at Auron. “Wasn’t that supposed to be __your__ job?”  
  
Auron raised an eyebrow. “You can be insufferable in the mornings. All the more reason for me not to volunteer to wake you.”  
  
She scowled.  
  
He shifted, then glanced away. “Although, I __did__ try. You were exhausted.”  
  
“Well, no wonder,” Jecht began, “Since ya spent all night – ”  
  
Auron raised his fist.  
  
“Nothin’. I didn’t say __nothin__ ’ ‘bout the most violent couple in Spira,” Jecht finished.  
  
“Yes, well.” Braska cleared his throat and led them inside. “The Trials await us, so let us proceed before any more violence is provoked.” His muttered, “I should charge for my services,” echoed between the arched stone columns.  
  
Rikku hesitated as she entered, surprised. “This place is pretty... atmospheric?”  
  
Jecht snorted, the sound bouncing through the room. “You mean empty. Where the hell are all the statues?”  
  
The temple’s interior looked nothing like she remembered it; there were fewer summoners’ statues present than there were huts in the village. The only three she recognized were High Summoners Gandof, Ohalland, and Yocun; the remaining statues were either broken or weathered beyond repair.  
  
How __had__ the village managed to restore its Temple in the future? Although, its current destitution __could’ve__ explained why it took Besaid almost ten years after Braska’s Calm to finally receive his High Summoner’s statue.  
  
Braska sighed. “While I could attempt to draw some meaningful parallel from this austerity, I’m afraid the truth is much simpler.”  
  
Auron strode towards the entrance to the Cloister. His boots echoed across the stone floor. “Money. Besaid has none, and this temple never recovered from Sin’s attack three years ago.”  
  
Someone cleared their throat; a young nun emerged from one of the storage rooms and smiled. “Well! This is unexpected! I thought everyone would be in Luca for the tournament!” She bowed. “Are you a summoner’s party by chance?”  
  
Braska returned her bow. “Indeed. I am Summoner Braska of Bevelle. I have come to commune with your Fayth.”  
  
“And I am Sister Ginnem,” the woman said, visibly pleased. “On behalf of Besaid, I welcome you to the Temple of Wind.” She continued to stare at Braska, obviously star-struck.  
  
“Thank you.” He returned her broad smile with a bit of discomfort.  
  
Jecht’s eyebrows went up. “How the hell did Braska get a fan all the way out here before __I__ did? Did they hear ‘bout us already?”  
  
Rikku shook her head. “She’s a nun,” she whispered back. “The Church’s superstars aren’t Blitzball players, remember? I doubt she’s heard __anything__ about you.”  
  
“Damn.”  
  
“...Yes, well,” Braska said after the silence had stretched uncomfortably long. “I take it you’ll have no objection if we enter the Cloister then?”  
  
Ginnem flushed. “Oh, __excuse me__! I’m also training to become a summoner, and you’re the first real one I’ve met.”  
  
“Ah,” Braska said stiffly; it seemed he didn’t approve of the woman’s career choice. “Well then, I suppose I shall have to work that much harder to succeed before you do.”  
  
Ginnem’s enthusiasm waned. “Perhaps. My younger sister was among those slain when Sin last attacked Besaid. I might give you a run for your money!”  
  
Braska sighed. “I do not wish to overstep the bounds of your hospitality, Sister, but have you perhaps considered other, __more productive__ , ways of serving Yevon?”  
  
“My lord,” Auron interjected. “The Teachings – ”  
  
Ginnem raised her hand. “Peace, friends. I’m not about to report you to the High Priest. Although, you shouldn’t practice that speech so openly on other summoners outside of Besaid.”  
  
Jecht scratched his head and leaned close to Rikku. “What was that all about?”  
  
“Yevon’s Teachings. They encourage the clergy to become summoners. You know – the more you have floating around, the more chances one of them will take down Sin.” She rolled her eyes. “Apparently, it’s a sin to get a summoner to stray from the __holy path__.”  
  
“So, why’s Braska tryin’ to stop her?”  
  
She crossed her arms and frowned. “It’s complicated. Braska’s just like that.”  
  
Jecht shrugged. “Didn’t figure he’d wanna hog all the glory. Then again, didn’t see him fallin’ for __you__ , either.”  
  
“Thanks, Jecht,” she said, channeling as much of Auron’s innate sarcasm as she could into her reply. She turned her attention back towards Braska’s conversation.  
  
“...Of course,” he was saying, bowing to Ginnem. “I will be happy to share my experiences with you after I have prayed to the Fayth. If I can be of any other assistance, please ask.” He beckoned them toward the Cloister entrance. “Shall we?”  
  
Auron pushed the doors open, and they passed through the wide hallway together. Runic, mosaic-like script flashed across one wall, resolving into something that looked like a sundial.  
  
“Before we begin,” Auron said. “Please try to __avoid__ destroying the temple this time. There’s a Summoner-in-Training here.” He paused. “You’ll only make it easier for her.”  
  
“I know,” Braska replied, studying the rune’s shifting patterns. After a moment, he raised his hand; a wall slid open to reveal a set of stairs. Another rune awaited them at the base of the hidden steps, powered by a glowing sphere set into a socket.  
  
There was only one other place in the small passage the newly-revealed sphere could fit; unasked, Jecht slotted it into the waiting door’s recess with a look of boredom.  
  
“Well, this seems a little too easy,” Jecht observed, pushing the door open. He was already removing the sphere from its socket when Rikku passed. She raised an eyebrow at him. “I learn fast.” He tossed the sphere in the air.  
  
They continued down the linear hallway – it offered no surprises and even less decorative ornamentation than the other temples. When the next sphere socket was finally spotted, Jecht inserted the orb without prompting. The wall rumbled and rose into the ceiling, taking their sphere with it. “Hope we didn’t need that,” he said.  
  
Auron peered into the tiny alcove the moving wall had revealed. “Even here, there’s a destruction sphere. They must be recent additions to the Temples,” he noted, pulling it out of the wall.  
  
“How do you figure?” Rikku asked, confused. Sure, Seymour had placed them there himself to seal off his mom, but __Auron__ wasn’t supposed to know that. At least, __not yet__.  
  
“This entire building must have been destroyed when Sin attacked. Everything here is too new. They were likely placed when it was rebuilt.”  
  
“And, of course, it wasn’t just the temple that was hit,” she said, thinking back to her run-in with Chappu. “I heard they lost most of their Blitzball team, too.”  
  
Maybe there was something to Braska’s theory after all. If the village had been razed to the ground three years ago without a summoner present, it was almost a miracle that there were so few fiends to be found on the island.  
  
Jecht continued down the tunnel. “Well, apart from them glowin’ things across from that hole in the wall, it’s a dead end,” he called out. “Feels more like a vacation than a Trial.” He punched at the glyphs, then snorted as they dissolved and revealed another not-so-well-hidden alcove with another light blue sphere. “An’ this’ll make our exit,” he muttered, grabbing it and bringing it to the others.  
  
“We should make a donation to this temple as well,” Braska said to Auron, who looked weary, but unsurprised.  
  
“At least our budget can finally keep up with your whims.” He took the sphere from Jecht and shoved it into the wall, which rolled up to reveal the familiar round sigil for an elevator. Taking a speculative look at the destruction sphere in his hand, Auron held it up. “Everything we’ve found to date seems to have been useful so far. Who wants to try this?”  
  
Rikku scratched her cheek. __I’ve definitely noticed a ‘Celestial Weapon’ theme to the hidden treasures we’ve found so far. So maybe...__ “Isn’t it Jecht’s turn to go treasure hunting? Why don’tcha let him have it this time?”  
  
“Really?” Jecht snatched the sphere out of Auron’s hand. “Sure, man. Don’t come cryin’ to me when I collect the goods, though.”  
  
“Whether or not what you find is ‘good’ remains to be seen,” Auron replied.  
  
Smirking, Jecht ambled back towards the only free sphere slot left in the Cloister. “Doesn’t matter. Treasure is treasure!” The wall lit up as Jecht slotted the sphere in; a line of sickly pink energy stuttered to life.  
  
Something exploded further down the hallway.  
  
“That sounded… rather destructive. Perhaps we should make a more substantial donation to the Church than we did in Kilika,” Braska said as they made their way towards the rubble. “Though we may have caused less problems this time, the paucity of our surroundings makes this defacement all the more obvious.”  
  
“Hnn,” Auron agreed, as they reached the new room and Jecht opened the chest.  
  
He froze.  
  
“What is it?” Auron asked.  
  
“Get over here, Rikku,” Jecht said, pulling the object out. “This what I think it is?”  
  
Skipping over, she grabbed the symbol from Jecht and studied it. It was warm and made of a strange, blackened metal. The relief of a red trident rose from the surface; as her fingers passed over it, it flickered and glowed. “Yeah,” she breathed, handing it back to Jecht. The symbol flared with ruby light. “It’s the Neptune Crest! Congratulations… you found the other half of your weapon!”  
  
Jecht stared at the crest. “You said these things... they choose you, right?” His fingers curled around the crest. “If that sword’s really mine, that means I’m supposed to be here.”  
  
“As loathe as I am to admit it, you have been an exemplary Guardian for Braska so far,” Auron said. “I had my doubts when we first started, but now, you deserve to be a part of this Pilgrimage just as much as any of us.”  
  
Braska nodded in silent agreement.  
  
Jecht, however, didn’t appear to be paying attention. His brows were furrowed, his mouth drawn into a soft frown as he stared at the symbol.  
  
Rikku swallowed, realizing that both Auron and Braska didn’t understand the true meaning behind Jecht’s words. He wasn’t questioning his role as a Guardian; he was wrestling with the idea that he’d been __destined__ for Spira.  
  
“Do I even got a choice?” He looked up at Rikku and she was struck by the uncomfortable realization that he was coming to __her__ for reassurance. “Or am I still dancin’ to someone else’s tune, just like all them other mice in Zanarkand?”  
  
A chill passed through her. __Aeons… are always summoned by someone, for a purpose.__ Had Jecht’s arrival __really__ been an accident, or was Yu Yevon growing tired of living? “I don’t know,” she said. “But you still have your free will, right? You can choose what you want to do with yourself while you’re here.”  
  
Jecht remained rooted to the spot, gaze moving back to the pulsing red crest in his hand. “Ya really think so?”  
  
“Jecht?” Braska looked puzzled. “What are you talking about? Of course you have the option to choose. I have never meant to trap you into continuing on this Pilgrimage if that was not your wish.”  
  
Jecht grunted. “Sorry, but this one ain’t about you, B.” He ran his thumb over the crest. “It’s ’bout me.”  
  
Rikku felt eyes boring into her head; gulping, she met Auron’s questioning gaze. Clearly, he had no idea what she and Jecht were discussing, but he had witnessed part of Jecht’s initial meltdown on the Mi’ihen Highroad. His eyes narrowed, but she shook her head once, quickly. __Not now.__ Her eyes flitted over to Braska. __Not in front of Braska.__  
  
Auron frowned, but touched Braska’s arm. “Braska. Leave them. Let’s find the Chamber of the Fayth.” He looked at her. “Join us when you can.”  
  
She nodded, thankful he’d understood, and faced Jecht, waiting for the elevator to descend before speaking. “I thought you said you were gonna fight. Don’t fall apart on us now!”  
  
“Fight what?” Jecht growled. “Fight bein’ someone else’s dream? I don’t got no control over my own damn life!” He sprang to his feet and paced the hall nervously. “I don’t even know if I __am__ alive! I ain’t ridin’ this storm, Blondie. I’m drownin’ in it.”  
  
Tidus’ words haunted her. __“...Take care of my old man, will you?”__  
  
Steeling herself, she grabbed Jecht’s arms. It was hard, considering his height, but she put her weight into it and shook him. “Snap out of it,” she commanded. “You’re not lost in this storm.” She waited until his eyes were focused on her. “You __are__ the storm.”  
  
He stared at her for a long moment.  
  
__Did I reach him?__  
  
“...You been hittin’ the Ochu tentacles lately, Blondie? The hell you on about?”  
  
It was surprisingly easier to shake Jecht around like a limp rag doll when she was angry. “ _ _No,__ you dork! I was __trying__ to be inspirational!” She raised a hand threateningly. “I can be more direct if your head’s too thick to get it!”  
  
Snickering, Jecht shook her off. “Sorry. We were gettin’ too serious there for a minute, but then you saved it by goin’ over the top.”  
  
“ _ _What?__ ” she sputtered.  
  
“You should’ve seen your face!” Jecht guffawed. “You were actin’ like somebody killed my pet chocobo or somethin’! Snapped me right outta my funk. See, I just don’t like thinkin’ bout serious things too much. It’s no fun.”  
  
Balking, Rikku resisted the urge to choke him with his own bandana. “Of course thinking is hard, you undersized Ogre! But, it’s still better than the alternative!”  
  
“What, you mean actin’ like all the rest of the people in Spira?” He sobered abruptly, and she couldn’t help but wonder how much of his sudden cheer had been faked. “Sin ain’t never __really__ been defeated in a thousand years. Everybody keeps hopin’ that doin’ the same thing over and over again will work, but nobody ever got it right. You’d think by now everybody would’ve figured Yevon’s __Teachings__ were a load o’ Dingoshit. We’re gonna have to do things different if we wanna change this world, right?”  
  
“Well, yeah,” she replied uncertainly, dropping her hands. “Do you have some kind of plan?” A strong feeling of deja-vu struck her; for a minute, she saw Tidus looking back at her.  
  
“Naw,” he replied. “Least not yet. But I guess it’s a good thing I ain’t really alive then.” He grinned, smaller than normal but still real. “Means I can’t die tryin’ somethin’ new, right?”  
  
__Huh. Maybe my message wasn’t completely lost after all. Still...__ “You gonna be okay?”  
  
“Long as we stick together. You can’t leave me hangin’ here, right? You’re the only one who knows what I am,” Jecht said gruffly.  
  
__Was this how Tidus felt at first, too?__ Maybe it was worse for Jecht, with all his pride, to have to admit that he needed friends at all. “You know I wouldn’t do that to you. Besides, I don’t think we could get rid of you if we tried. You’re pretty stubborn.”  
  
“...So you think I’m the storm, huh?” He punched his crest into the air. “Then I’m gonna bring it. That’s __my__ call _ _.__ ”  
  
Rikku matched his grin. “You sound like you’re ready to go back to Macalania now and get yourself a Celestial Weapon.”  
  
“Yeah! We’re gonna be Spira’s best Celestial Warriors, you know it! Kickin’ ass and takin’ names!” he declared, high-fiving her. “I’m totally gonna rub Auron’s face in it, too.”  
  
__Yeah. He’ll get past this.__  
  
“C’mon, let’s see if Braska’s got himself a new aeon yet.” He scratched his head. “Is it a chick or a dude here? If it’s a chick, is she hot?”  
  
“You know, I was almost impressed.” She headed for the elevator. “At least some things never change.”  
  
Chuckling, Jecht pocketed the crest and followed her.  
  
When they both stood on the platform, it rumbled, then sent them deeper into the earth. The stones got older and more weathered the further they went; when the elevator bottomed out into the antechamber of the Fayth, it felt as though they’d stepped into a different temple. Delicate, whorling patterns decorated every wall, and the floors and ceiling were richly inscribed with feather-like symbols. The high, haunting trill of a soprano echoed around them, adding to the room’s solemn atmosphere.  
  
“Whoa,” Jecht mumbled, his eyes wide. “Lookit this place!”  
  
“You made it,” Auron greeted from his position against one of the walls. “Did you work everything out?”  
  
“I’m good to go. And once I power up my sword, I’m gonna wipe the floor with your ass. Payback for all those drills, man!”  
  
“You say that as though you believe it might happen. Well, you’re welcome to try.” Auron smirked. “And fail.”  
  
Jecht raised both hands and flipped Auron the bird.  
  
“Auron, stop baiting Jecht!” she scolded. “Getting access to a Celestial Weapon is a really big deal! Don’t ruin his moment with reality, okay?”  
  
Jecht repeated his salute to Rikku, before sticking his fingers into his ears and pointedly studying the ornate walls.  
  
Auron chuckled. “Braska just entered the Chamber. We may be here for a while.”  
  
She put her arms behind her back and strolled around the beautiful room, eyeing the delicate carvings. __Now this is more like I remember__. “I guess this part of the temple wasn’t touched by Sin’s attack. Still, I’m kinda surprised it’s so __pretty__. I mean, this place could put Bevelle to shame!”  
  
Auron shrugged. “If Besaid truly was once the seat of Spira’s summoners, imagine what this temple must have looked like before the Great Machina War.” He shook his head. “You would hardly realize it by looking at the hovels above, though. Or the villagers, for that matter.”  
  
Finished with her cursory inspection of the small chamber, Rikku settled on the floor by his feet. “Don’t knock it. You and Yuna might be adding to their population one day.” She giggled at his disgruntled look, giving his calf a playful pinch.  
  
  
“Hnn,” Auron said, though his soft gaze belied his strict tone.  
  
Relaxing against the wall, she idly traced one of the spiraling patterns on the floor. __Auron should learn to like this place; he might have a future here, after all.__ Her finger stilled as the memory of her strange dream resurfaced.  
  
__If that was actually Tidus though, what does that mean for Auron? Does Auron never make it back to Besaid? Were my other dreams real, too?__  
  
A faint memory of pyreflies tickled; Auron, kneeling among flowers.  
  
__Come back soon__ , Tidus had said.  
  
She shivered, trying to make a connection. What if __going back home__ meant __dying__ , like she almost did in Baaj? What did that even __mean__? Was she __dead__?  
  
Rikku lifted her hand, inspecting her finger. The faint white scar where she’d first bitten herself to test the theory was still there. She frowned.  
  
Was what Dream-Tidus said even true? Were her friends in the future worried about her? It would just be like Brother to panic; it was practically his normal state of existence. But __Gippal__? Rikku snorted. __Hardly__. As much as he liked to play the field, even __he__ would’ve given Leblanc’s grating personality a wide berth.  
  
“Do you want to talk?” Auron’s soft question startled her from her thoughts.  
  
She glanced up, confused.  
  
His brows were drawn together in faint concern. “You look as though you’re worried about something,” he said. “Is it this secret between you and Jecht?”  
  
“No, that’s something different. You’ll have to pry it out of Jecht. It’s not really my place to say anything.” She twisted her fingers into her sash. “I just… I feel like my past is catching up with me the closer we get to the end of this Pilgrimage,” she admitted. “I guess I’m a little scared.”  
  
He sighed and lowered himself to the ground beside her. “That’s not unreasonable. We all have to face what’s coming. Jecht is the lucky one,” he added, gesturing to where Jecht was seated, cross-legged, fingers still in place. “Ignorance is bliss.”  
  
Jecht pulled his fingers out of his ears. “You ain’t talkin’ about me, are ya?”  
  
“No.” Auron leaned over and kissed Rikku, who flailed a bit at the unexpected – but welcome – assault.  
  
“I __know__ ya did that on purpose!” Jecht turned around and stuck his fingers back into his ears, making gagging noises.  
  
She pushed Auron off with a giggle. “You love torturing him, don’t you? Not that I’m complaining.”  
  
“Bothering Jecht is merely an additional benefit.” He drew her close. “Am I correct in recalling that you threatened me with a swimming lesson?”  
  
Rikku stared. __That__ was suspicious. Auron, kissing her out of the blue to tease Jecht, then __asking__ for swimming lessons while cuddling? “What’s gotten into you?”  
  
He cleared his throat, but maintained his grip. “I was looking forward to spending time with you,” he said, and she __almost__ believed him.  
  
He really __was__ trying hard, and it was definitely cuter than their first date, although in its own way, just as creepy. Auron didn’t __cuddle__ unless you hit him with a Confusion spell first. Which meant...  
  
“You don’t have to act weird to try and make me feel better,” she chided. “I like you the way you are. Tough and gruff.” She teased her fingers along the inside of his coat, tugging him closer. “Although you’re right, we need to get rid of the __highly sinkable__ part ASAP. Like, right after Braska’s done here, okay?”  
  
“…I was afraid you’d say that.”  
  
The Chamber of the Fayth doors parted, and Braska came to a stop at the top of the stairs. Rikku and Auron stood.  
  
“Record time,” Auron noted.  
  
Wiping sweat from his brow, Braska smiled. “It’s done. I’ve received the last aeon. I am now a fully realized summoner.”  
  
“That was damn fast,” Jecht said, also joining them. “Does it get easier each time ya do it or somethin’?”  
  
Braska shook his head. “No… the Fayth here is different from the others I’ve met so far. Very… gentle. I shall summon the aeon outside, and perhaps you’ll understand.”  
  
Their exit from the small temple was quick, and after a brief announcement from Sister Ginnem, some of the townspeople came to watch Braska summon in the circle of beaten dirt in front of the temple.  
  
Rikku studied the gathering with amusement; the “crowd” consisted of an elderly granny, four children who couldn’t be older than ten, one sullen Crusader stuck manning the Crusader’s Lodge, and Sister Ginnem herself. Still, they all watched with wide-eyed looks of anticipation as Braska stepped into the circle.  
  
“Are you ready, my lord?” Ginnem asked.  
  
Braska nodded, visibly amused. “Well… this __is__ a larger crowd in attendance than when I first summoned Bahamut, I suppose.”  
  
He raised his staff and twirled it before extending his arms and leaning back. Beams of light circled his feet, rushing from the ground to meet the sky in a tightening spiral. A clear ring sounded when they clashed, forcing the clouds apart in a sudden gust of wind. And then, with a sonic boom, Valefor plummeted, twisting before spreading her wings to slow her descent. The rush of air from the aeon’s arrival was strong enough to knock the smaller children to the ground.  
  
That did little to stop the cheering and whistling that rose around Braska as he fell into Rapture. Valefor flapped a few times before landing with a thud, her wings still spread.  
  
“Wow,” Jecht whistled. “That thing sure knows how to make an entrance, don’t it?”  
  
“She,” Rikku corrected, too busy drinking in the sight. Valefor, the heart and soul of Yuna’s collection of aeons. Maybe summoners formed a special bond with the first aeon they called; whatever the reason, Valefor had always been the most responsive of Yuna’s menagerie. She was also the only one Rikku had ever seen taking special note of anyone other than their direct enemies in the past – Valefor had often displayed affection for Tidus. Rikku had always guessed it was Yuna’s influence somehow.  
  
Now, the huge, bird-like aeon cocked its head and parted its beak, as if panting, and stared at her. Then it began to lumber towards them.  
  
Auron stiffened. “What’s it doing?”  
  
“You’re just noticing?” Jecht asked, obviously relaxed. “They always do that.”  
  
“Do what?” Rikku asked, as Valefor stopped before them, lowered its head, and blinked at her.  
  
“Come over and take a look at Blondie,” Jecht said. “They never give Auron here the time o’ day.”  
  
“I don’t know,” she hedged. Anima had proved that they __did__ notice her, at least to some extent. Until she’d stopped trying to throw herself into meeting the Fayth however, she would’ve described most of the attention as __hostile__.  
  
Valefor stood upright, flapping her wings, and closed them in a gentle hug – over __Jecht__. A few murmurs and gasps rose from the villagers.  
  
__Huh. Maybe it wasn’t Yuna’s influence after all.__ “I don’t think she was looking at __me__ just now,” she teased. Through Valefor’s wings, Jecht stood frozen as the aeon trilled and nuzzled his head. Rikku tapped her chin. “Maybe they’ve been looking at __you__ all this time, you know? Ifrit didn’t give __me__ the head noogie!”  
  
“Hey, I never turn down new fans, but bein’ hugged by a giant wind parrot is kinda creepy,” Jecht muttered. “Nice birdie?” he called out to the aeon.  
  
Valefor reared up with a screech that sounded suspiciously like laughter. Her wings unfurled, and she leapt into the sky, shaking her mane out once before dissolving into pyreflies.  
  
Braska blinked as he straightened. He bowed in thanks to the resulting smattering of applause.  
  
“That was wonderful!” Ginnem said, her eyes alight as she moved towards them. “You’ve collected all of them, yes? Have you called them all too? Might you be able to later? Was the journey to reach the other temples difficult? Or terribly expensive? How many can you summon – ”  
  
Braska held up his hands, silencing her. “All in good time, Sister. If you would allow me just a moment…”  
  
“Oh! Oh of course, my lord,” Ginnem said, blushing and bowing several times.  
  
Wincing, Braska approached them. “I fear the rest of __my__ day has been spoken for,” he said in a low undertone to Auron. “If you’d be so kind as to settle the donation for the temple, the three of you can have the rest of the day to yourselves.”  
  
“Yeah!” Jecht punched the air. “Guess I’m goin’ surfin’ after all!” He looked at the village children, who had picked themselves up and were now milling around. “Who’s with me?” he shouted.  
  
They children brightened and swarmed him, cheering. Jecht gave Braska a parting wave as he led his newfound admirers away.  
  
Auron was already sifting through his pouch, pulling out a large handful of gil. “A thought, __my lord__ ,” he said with a smug grin. “I believe __you__ should be the one to present the donation to Sister Ginnem. This was __your__ idea, after all.”  
  
Braska blanched as he took the money. “Thank you, Auron. I’m sure the good Sister will be most appreciative.”  
  
Behind Braska, Ginnem giggled and waved.  
  
“Enjoy your day together,” Auron said with a smirk. It dropped as Rikku tapped his shoulder.  
  
“You agreed to some swimming lessons, mister.”  
  
Now, it was Braska’s turn to smirk. “Yes, you should __enjoy__ your day as well. I’ve found Rikku to be an excellent teacher! Our sessions together were most pleasurable!”  
  
“Bastard,” Auron muttered as Rikku dragged him away, trying to stamp out her blush.  
  
With the village so deserted – at least compared to what she was used to – it took little time for them to arrive at the hut she and Auron were sharing. He loitered awkwardly in the doorway.  
  
She put her hands on her hips. “You’re gonna need to strip down to your shirt and pants,” she said. “No coat, no sword, no armor, no jugs of alcohol. You can keep your shoes if you want, but it’s gonna make it that much harder if you’re a beginner.”  
  
“No.”  
  
She narrowed her eyes. “Listen, I know how much you love your look, but you’re gonna sink like a stone if you go into the water wearing all that.”  
  
Sighing, Auron unbuckled his bracer and discarded it.  
  
“Wait, really? You’re giving in just like that? I thought you were gonna put up more of a fight!”  
  
Smirking, he removed his belt and threw it towards her. “You did ask me to strip. Who am I to refuse?”  
  
Rikku didn’t manage to catch the coat that came flying her way next. __Well, at least it matches my face.__ Batting the fabric off her head, she pouted. “That’s unfair, you know! We’re still going __swimming__ first.” It was a mantra she had to repeat a few more times in her head as Auron removed his chestplate.  
  
“Fine. If Jecht’s performance on the way here was any indication, armor shouldn’t be a problem.” He stopped and glared at her. “But the sword stays.”  
  
“Oh no, it doesn’t,” she answered. “When you know how to float, you can bring your sword along. Otherwise, it’s dead weight.”  
  
“There are still fiends out there,” he insisted. She slapped the weapon out of his hands, threw it back onto the bed, and sat on it for good measure.  
  
“The weakest fiends in all of Spira. And I’ll still have my garment grid with me.” The look on Auron’s face told her what he thought of that idea, so she sighed. “Wow, okay. How about this? I can __summon__ a sword for you if you need to fight, so leave the real one here.”  
  
“Hnn,” he said, sounding unconvinced.  
  
Huffing, she stood and activated her dressphere. Cherry blossoms fluttered around her, and she pulled her weapon from the air. “You are ridiculously stubborn,” she groused, twirling the sword until it was pointed hilt-first at Auron. “Look. They’re identical.”  
  
Rather than taking the weapon, his gaze was trained on her red coat, eyebrows raised. “That is… a unique interpretation. I’m amazed you’ve managed to duplicate my clothing, yet still reveal your stomach to the world.”  
  
“It’s a gift.” She scowled, impatient. “Now, are you going to stare and mock me, or do you want the sword?”  
  
Auron grudgingly reached for it. Then tugged. “You do realize you have to let it go.”  
  
With a grimace, Rikku released her tight grip. “Be careful with that! It’s not a toy,” she warned.  
  
He shot her a look as if to say, “Do you know who you’re talking to?”  
  
“Sorry, I can’t help it! I get all… twitchy, thinking of someone else handling my weapons. That’s all your fault, by the way.” Adjusting the fit of her gloves, she pouted and tried not to feel naked. She was of half a mind to tell Auron to get his __own__ sword back, but knew the compulsion was just the dressphere’s influence. “Let’s get this over with,” she grumped, stomping outside.  
  
Auron followed her out of the hut. She continued to fume and ignore him until they were halfway to Besaid’s canyon. “This is a stupid idea,” she muttered as she walked. “Swimming! Who needs to swim?” Well, technically __Auron__ needed to swim; that was the whole problem, wasn’t it?  
  
Clenching her teeth, she tried not to blame Auron for neglecting such a basic aspect of his education. But, it was __completely irresponsible__ of him, when he __knew__ he’d be travelling overseas with Lord Braska. Of course, he always thought he knew best –  
  
Auron chuckled and Rikku whirled around, annoyed. “What?” she bit out. “What exactly is so amusing about any of this?”  
  
“You are,” he said. He tapped her sword against his shoulder, where he was carrying it. “Are you really so upset that I am simply __borrowing__ this?”  
  
“Of course I am! Wouldn’t you be?” she shot back.  
  
“Mine is real,” Auron said with a frown.  
  
She fumed. __How dare –__  
  
“No, I am not arguing with you about the quality of our swords right now. Tell me, why are you __really__ angry?” He pinned her under a sharp stare.  
  
Rikku threw her hands up in exasperation. “You want to know why? I’ll tell you __why__!” She paced in front of him. “We’re in Besaid, the perfect tropical getaway from almost every problem in Spira. But are we naked in a hut, getting to know each other better right now? __No!__ Here we are in the jungle, battling __insect bites__ and suffering this sweltering heat for a fool’s errand!” She panted when she was done, directing an accusatory glare at Auron.  
  
He was laughing at her again. “I can’t argue your logic,” he said. “But remember – __you__ are the one who wanted this. Not I, __obviously__.”  
  
Rikku growled and stomped her foot. “ _ _I know!”__ she yelled, before whirling and stalking off.  
  
Shaking his head, Auron trailed after her, still smiling.  


****.x.x.x.** **

  
Auron was both a fast learner __and__ a merciless tease. The moment she’d dropped the Samurai costume, Rikku __knew__ he wasn’t going to let her live her dressphere-induced temper tantrum down. And he hadn’t.  
  
“There’s still time for us to return to the village and improve our communication skills,” he noted as he tread the water next to her.  
  
She ignored the blush riding high on her cheeks. “Stop trying to get out of this! Show me that stroke one more time.”  
  
“Hnn,” he grunted, before complying. He’d listened to her instructions and caught on to the basics with ease, but didn’t have any natural grace in the water to speak of.  
  
“Stop trying to punch through like that,” she called as he splashed around her. “Water’s not solid! Don’t be so rigid. You have to flow before you can strike!” She winced as he made another hard slap against the surface, sending a geyser of spray everywhere.  
  
Auron returned to treading the water. “You’ve taught me enough that I won’t drown. Must we really waste any more time on this?”  
  
Rikku sighed and checked the sun’s position overhead. “I guess not,” she grumbled. “We’ve been at it long enough. You can take a break.”  
  
Together, they swam back to the shore. She collapsed under one of the nearby palm trees while he stripped off his soaked shirt, laying it in the sun to dry. He joined her on the ground and let her rest her head against his bare chest. She melted when he began to comb his fingers against her scalp, working out a few of the knots in her hair.  
  
__Mmm. This is perfect.__  
  
“Rikku,” he said after a few moments had passed. “I want to know more about you.”  
  
She smiled and traced a lazy finger between the muscles on his abdomen. “Don’t you think we know each other pretty well by now?”  
  
Auron caught her hand and squeezed her fingers in a gentle reprimand. “Not like that. I want to know more of your past.”  
  
She tensed. “I’m… I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” she hedged. Auron remained silent, waiting, and she chewed her lip. “…What do you want to know?”  
  
“Tell me about your first love,” he said after a moment. “Who was he, and how did he break your heart?”  
  
__Of course he’d go for the jugular__. “Oh, well, that’s easy,” she answered, thinking fast. “He was my best friend back when I was growing up. I thought he was The One, you know? So, I spent three weeks making him this __awesome__ weapon. A mortar with a saw blade!”  
  
“How imaginatively unpractical.”  
  
Rikku smacked Auron’s chest. “Hey! I thought it was some of the best work I ever did! And you know what? So did he. He even gave me a thank-you kiss when I gave it to him!”  
  
“So what happened to your One?” Auron asked with a hint of amused tolerance.  
  
“I caught him making out with Nhadala behind the power generators the very next day.”  
  
“Thank you, Rikku.” Auron sighed. “But you know I wasn’t talking about your first childhood crush.”  
  
__A girl can dream.__ She curled against him, frowning. “This isn’t… easy.”  
  
“Of course not.”  
  
“How ‘bout this: I’ll make you a deal. You tell me something about you, and I’ll tell you something about me. Fair and square!” She poked him. “I went first, so it’s your turn now.”  
  
“Very well.” He paused before asking, “You know that scar on my right thigh?”  
  
“Oh, you mean this one?” She snaked her fingers under the waistband of his trousers to investigate, pouting when he sucked in his breath and gently pulled her hand away.  
  
“Stop that. I actually want to __talk__ to you.”  
  
“I can talk and do other things at the same time!” Rikku protested. “I’m multi-talented!”  
  
Holding her wrists back, Auron smirked. “Yes, I know. I fully intend to put that boast to the test. __Later.__ Right now I want to tell you about my scar.”  
  
Sulking, she collapsed against his side. “Fine, tell me your boring old battle story. I’ll ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ in all the right places just to remind you of what we __could__ be doing instead.”  
  
“It’s not a battle scar,” Auron said.  
  
“What?” Surprised, her eyes dropped to his cloth-covered thigh. “But it’s huge! And deep! What the heck did you do?”  
  
Flushing slightly, he focused intently on the palm fronds overhead. “...Tattoo,” he muttered.  
  
Rikku blinked. Looked at his thigh again. “No way! You got a tattoo once? On your __thigh?__ ”  
  
Clearing his throat, he nodded. “It was an ill-advised mistake of my youth. Once I realized that, I removed it myself. It was before I knew Braska.”  
  
Wincing, she freed her hand from Auron’s grip and carefully cupped it over the scar. “That must’ve hurt. What was it a tattoo of anyway?”  
  
“That’s two questions,” he said smugly. “Tell me about your belt. Why’d you steal it and run away?”  
  
“Well… I didn’t really steal it. It was a gift.” Spotting the look on his face, she slapped his chest lightly – __Oww, I bet that hurt my hand more than him__ – and growled. “I’m serious! It’s mine! I’m not running from the Al Bhed because I’m a thief. It’s... more of a family relations thing.” __To put it mildly.__ “I don’t get along that well with Cid.” At least that much was the honest truth.  
  
“Well, we have that much in common,” he replied. “So what would you like to know about me?”  
  
“You can’t seriously tell me about that tattoo and not say what it was!”  
  
“It was a name,” Auron said. When he offered nothing more, Rikku pounced on him.  
  
“Oh no, you don’t, you big meanie! It’s tickle torture until you spill!”  
  
Once again, Auron drew her hands away gently, although the smile had dropped from his face. “It was a woman’s name.”  
  
Rikku froze. __Wait, hold up. What?__ She laughed uneasily. “I think I must have just heard you wrong. Because it sounded like you just said it was a __woman’s__ name.”  
  
Auron’s fingers wove themselves through her hair, settling against her scalp and gently bringing her head to rest under his chin. “I was sixteen, the first time I thought myself in love.”  
  
She was surprised by the seriousness of his voice. Rikku blinked and held her breath.  
  
“I was already in training with the other acolytes. We weren’t meant to be __only__ soldiers; we still had to learn the Teachings. There was a nun who favored me. She took me under her wing.”  
  
He fell silent. She prodded him. “When you say she _ _took you in__ , you mean – ”  
  
“Yes,” he said, curt. “She took my virginity. She was an instructor at the seminary; I was seduced by her tender words and gentle touches. But I was a foolish boy, and I made a simple mistake.” He made a small noise of self-depreciation. “I told Kinoc.”  
  
__Ouch.__ “What happened? He turn you guys in?”  
  
He laughed. “I almost wish he had, but no. Wen forced me to shadow him the very next day. He met with her, and she bedded him. I was… __made to understand__ that it wasn’t __I__ who caught her eye; she was an older woman who had a taste for the boys.” He paused, exhaling as if to purge the memory from his mind. “I left them to their pleasures, lost the contents of my stomach, and decided that notions such as __love__ and __affection__ were pretty lies spun by the ignorant.”  
  
Rikku bit her lip in the pregnant silence that followed. __Holy machina.__ Her surprise was quickly overshadowed by a twisting, uncomfortable sensation tugging at her gut; a mixture of helpless rage and sadness, struggling to be contained. __How could she__ – __how could anyone__ –  
  
As if sensing her discomfort, Auron’s arms tightened around her, and his voice lost some of its clinical detachment as he continued. “There was a short time afterwards that I followed Kinoc’s lead and tried to assuage my disappointment in __simpler__ transactions. But I never enjoyed myself as he did. It was all just… too much effort.”  
  
She let out a shaking breath, afraid to look at him. __So Auron had a wild past because some__ ** _ ** _bitch_**_** _ _broke him.__ Her fingers spasmed against him.  
  
“I shouldn’t have told you,” he murmured, his body stiffening.  
  
“No!” She snapped her neck up so quickly she nearly clipped him on the chin. “No, I’m not upset at you!” Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against his desperately, trying to force all her churning emotions into the kiss. “I’m not mad, not at you. It wasn’t your fault! I really __really__ hate the Church, you know, and not just because I’m Al Bhed. I mean, mostly because I’m Al Bhed, and also because of this whole murdering Summoners thing, but this is just the cherry on top of the rotten shoopuf parade.”  
  
“Don’t be sorry,” Auron told her. “I wanted to tell you this. I thought you should know. Yes, it was a difficult time in my life. But here we are now, and that’s all that matters.”  
  
“I’m glad you changed your mind about love,” Rikku said in a small voice. She felt ashamed; she’d demanded this exchange, and Auron had given her a larger glimpse into his troubled past than she’d deserved.  
  
“I didn’t. __You__ did,” he told her, leaning over to kiss her.  
  
__He sealed it with a guilt trip!__ Breaking off the kiss, she winced; she’d dug this hole all by herself. And now, he was waiting for her to answer him.  
  
“The guy who broke my heart…” she began. “He was a lot like you. You know, _ _gruff and tough__. I guess I have a type.” __A type named Auron.__ “He was older than me. Like, __a lot__ older. He taught me everything there was to know about being a Guardian.” She closed her eyes and forced herself to think of him as he was then; older, wiser, more __bitter__. “He… was devoted to protecting the people close to him, and right from the beginning he saw me for who I really was.” She trailed off and pressed her ear against Auron’s chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart. His __beating__ , __alive__ , __very very__ ** _ ** _real_**_** heart.  
  
“But?” Auron prompted.  
  
“But I don’t think he ever loved me,” she admitted. “And he died before I could tell him how I felt.”  
  
The silence between them stretched, heavy, but not entirely uncomfortable.  
  
“I think…” He paused. “...your first love was a good experience for you.”  
  
Snorting, Rikku snuggled more securely into his embrace. “What, getting my heart broken into a million pieces and not getting over it until I met you?” __Again.__  
  
“It seems like he was a good influence on you, to have taught you some truly important things, both about yourself and about being a Guardian. You can look beyond the surface, and see things for what they are. That’s a rare gift he gave to you, one you should be thankful for.”  
  
“You know, I guess I really am.” She stifled a smile. “He was kinda like the gift that keeps on giving,” she said, no longer talking about the older Auron.  
  
“He may have missed a wonderful opportunity, but I’m glad **_**_I_**_** didn’t.” Auron squeezed her. “Thank you for telling me. Don’t be afraid of the demons of your past. This Pilgrimage is not like your first. __I__ love you, and __we__ will not fail.”  
  
Rikku could only curl closer and close her eyes, listening intently to each beat of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jecht and Rikku’s discussion about free will is pretty much the unravelling of a Sam Harris quote, which is mildly interesting in that it comes from the book where Harris argues that none of us actually have free will. Also, you might have extrapolated that the “boy with the saw mortar” Rikku was talking about is Gippal.


	48. Sea Skirmish

Auron stood on Besaid’s understated pier, regarding the ill-fitted warship docked there.  It was a magnificent ship – three masts, freshly painted and equipped with the crusaders’ best weaponry.  Gleaming cannons lined the hull of the ship; the decorative religious embossing on them did little to hide Yevon’s blatant hypocrisy on display.  Anyone even remotely familiar with the Teachings could see that the canons were machina, plain and simple.

“May I be frank, Captain Hewley?” he said after a moment.

The dark-haired man who stood across from him nodded.  “Of course, Sir Auron.  Speak your mind.”

“This is a _terrible_ idea.”

Hewley’s expression melted into indignation, presumably at Auron’s blunt analysis.

“We can’t accept your offer.  It would put Lord Braska in too much danger, to say nothing of Luca.  Sin has already been spotted off its coast.  Twice.  You should return to your post and defend the city, especially with the Tournament ongoing.”

Hewley worked his jaw.  “The crusaders are offering Lord Braska our flagship specifically _for_ his protection.  We can’t allow another incident like the Pualu to occur.  Sir.”

Auron shook his head in disbelief.  “It doesn’t matter if it’s a flagship or a fisherman’s junker.  No vessel can stand alone against Sin.”

“We won’t be alone.  The crew consists of our best warriors, and Lord Braska will be able to support us with his aeons as well,” Hewley insisted.  “We are to escort him safely to Bevelle.  If _I_ may be frank, _you_ don’t have a choice in the matter; your summoner will decide.”

Auron’s expression turned black, and Braska put a hand on his shoulder.  “Captain,” he said to the crusader.  “If we might have a moment alone?”

“We shall wait as long as you require, Lord Braska,” Hewley answered, bowing.  He straightened, gave them a perfunctory nod, and returned to his vessel.

“What’s the problem?”  Jecht scratched his head, looking over the ship.  “It looks pretty smooth compared to the other boats we rode on.  Plus it’s free, ain’t it?  Red carpet service, straight from Bevelle.”

“That is exactly what worries me.”  Auron scowled.

Rikku rolled her eyes.  “You think they’d try to assassinate Braska by sending him the crusaders’ flagship?  That’s a stretch, even for me.”

“Not an assassination,” Auron told them.  “I do not doubt that their warship is formidable, nor that its crew is dedicated to anything other than Braska’s success.”

“But?” she pressed.

“Sin is always drawn to wherever too many people gather in one place, such as Luca during Tournament season.  When the crusaders are united, they have a chance of defending the city with their fleet.  Splitting their forces this way offers _no one_ adequate protection.”

“Does it matter in the end?” Braska asked.  “Between Bevelle and Sin, one of them was bound to catch up with us.  This is only one ship of many, Auron.  Luca will remain safe under the watchful eyes of the crusader fleet, and the offer the good captain makes will ease our own journey towards Zanarkand.”  He sighed.  “Not that it matters anymore; for better or worse, we have no choice.  If the crusaders have stepped in publicly, no simple transport will agree to take us anywhere.”

“At the cost of Luca’s safety,” Auron muttered, sour.  Then he shook his head.  “We’ll do as you wish, my lord,” he said, turning away.  “Are we all prepared to leave Besaid?”

Rikku looked back at the beach.  Ginnem and the children stood there, waving and smiling.  “I wish we could’ve stayed a little longer.”  

Jecht lobbed the last signed blitzball towards his pint-sized fan club.  “Remember what I said,” he shouted.  “Keep practicin’ like I told ya and you’ll take that Tournament one day!”

Braska returned Ginnem’s eager waves with a pained expression.  “As beautiful as Besaid is, I believe _I_ am ready to move on.  Shall we?”  He boarded the ship and Jecht trailed after him.

Reluctantly, Rikku turned to follow – and bumped into Auron.  His arms circled around her.  “What’s up?”

“If I find myself returning here with Yuna… I hope you will join me.”

Rikku’s mouth dropped open.  “You want me to live here in Besaid with you?”

“Yevon, I hope it doesn’t come to that,” he said, pained.  “But being with you might make it slightly more tolerable.”  

“We’ll see,” she said with a tiny smile.  “Maybe we won’t have to, right?”  Rising to her tiptoes, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.  “But thank you for asking.”

“Hnn,” he said, before pulling away and leading them onto the ship.

Captain Hewley bowed in greeting.  “I’m happy to see you’ve changed your mind,” he said.  “Welcome aboard _Mi’ihen’s Pride_.  It will be our honor to escort you to Bevelle, Lord Braska.”

“Thank you,” Braska returned the bow.  “I pray for a safe and quick journey, that you may rejoin your companions in Luca as soon as possible.”

The captain nodded, then signaled the nearby sailors.  Mere minutes later, the ship pulled away from the pier, inching towards the open sea.  Dark sails unfurled and caught the wind; Yevon’s symbol was emblazoned in stark white, shining against the crisp blue sky.  

Rikku shivered.  “Catching a ride on a Yevonite ship to Bevelle?  This really isn’t how I thought my life would pan out.”

“Keep on your guard,” Auron said, visibly tense.  “Even if this journey proves uneventful, I doubt our reception in Bevelle will be.”

Rikku snorted to cover the discomfort his words prompted.  “Ya think?”  

“The crusaders have shown their hand in this as well,” Auron continued.  “It can’t be a coincidence that Kinoc wants us to sail in on the flagship bearing all the things Bevelle abhors.  Blitzball, an Al Bhed, and weapons that look like forbidden machina.”  He gestured at the ship’s impressive array of cannons.  “They’re hoping to make a statement.”

Jecht cracked his neck.  “Stop worryin’ so much.  The question you’re supposed to be askin’ is if Bevelle can handle Team BARJ!”

She groaned.  “Well, since even _I_ can’t handle that name – ”

“There is no point in worrying now, regardless,” Braska said.  “This ship is sailing directly from Besaid to Bevelle, so we’ll have many days to contemplate the fate that awaits us there.  We may as well enjoy our time here while we have it.”

“Kinda like a vacation cruise before the execution, huh?”  She crossed her arms, unable to shake a steadily-growing feeling of unease.  “Enjoy ourselves.   _Sure._  What could go wrong?”

**.x.x.x.**

In hindsight, Rikku wondered if she’d jinxed it.  

They’d made it past Kilika without incident.  The route their captain chose followed the inner coastline and took them past Luca along the side nearest the Moonflow.  From there, it would take a few days before they’d reach one of Bevelle’s grand ports close to the Calm Lands; a much shorter and easier trip than they’d first traversed on foot.  

At least, that had been the plan.

Sin tended to change the best laid plans.

The violent sea and her churning stomach indicated that, as Auron had predicted, things were _definitely_ not going according to plan.  On the plus side, being attacked by Sin was becoming less and less of a shock each time it happened.

“Are you kidding me?” she groused as she scrambled across the deck, punching her way through the insect-like Sinspawn raining down.  “We have to fight this thing on the water _again_?” She skidded to a stop as four more pods slammed in front of her, holding the Godhand ready.  “You’re getting in my way,” she growled, striking one.  It blasted into pieces before it could hatch.

“Rikku!”  Auron appeared at her side, focused as ever, and she felt some of her fury subsiding.  “Don’t waste your time on these.  Get to Braska and protect him!”  He swung his sword and leapt into the air, driving the weapon into the deck as he landed on one knee.  A wave of pressure radiated outwards from the strike, blasting the minor fiends away.

 _Dragon Fang_ , she thought as his move cleared the deck.

“Go,” he said, rising to his feet.  “And don’t fall overboard this time,” he added with a tight smile.  It fell from his face as he joined the other soldiers struggling with the next volley of landing fiends.

“Watch yourself!” she shouted, turning to find Braska before something less friendly did.  She sighed in relief as she spotted him, casting an array of protective spells over the crew while Jecht stood near, keeping the fiends away.

“Blondie!” Jecht yelled, grunting as he destroyed another spawn.  “You gonna stop slackin’ and give us a hand here?”

“You look like you’re doing fine on your own, you know.”  She dodged another crusader who was running past.  They really had put their best on the ship; the soldiers were holding their own with minimal help from Braska and Auron.  They didn’t actually need more _offensive_ power on the deck, at least not against the small fiends.  Nodding, she activated her dressphere and felt Lenne stir as she transformed.

“That getup?  You gonna sing them a lullaby?” Jecht scoffed when the light faded.

“Not a bad idea,” Rikku hummed.  “But, I don’t need to sing for that.”  She walked delicately along her summoned pattern, then picked up the pace, ignoring her microphone in favor of stepping into a complicated dance.  The spell’s power rolled out in waves under her feet.

It took hold rapidly; Sinspawn across the deck collapsed into dozing heaps, much to the surprise of the soldiers.  Their confusion didn’t last long; soon, there were clouds of pyreflies floating through the air as the crusaders took advantage of the respite.

“Man the guns!” Auron shouted to the rushing crew.  Several coordinated groups of soldiers ensured that the cannons were ready to fire.  Unlike the previous attack, there were no milling, terrified passengers to account for.  They really _were_ on a warship, and every movement was efficient and calculated.  

Rikku shivered.   _And we’re going to battle Sin again._   _Can I be a terrified passenger instead of a soldier, maybe?_  Slowing her dance, she watched the enormous fin bobbing through the water towards the ship.   _We’re gonna need a different strategy.  What would Auron do?_  

She sought him out on the deck.  He was helping one of the gunner teams, pointing the weapon at Sin and instructing them on where best to direct their fire.  

 _That’s it!_ She changed the magic pattern with a sweep of her foot, slowing down and shifting the spell as she adjusted her dance style.

“Whoa,” Jech observed.  “That somethin’ you come up with for Auron?”

She grit her teeth and kept dancing.  Technically, she supposed Auron _had_ just inspired her to use this particular dance, not that it was any of Jecht’s business.   _Thanks for inventing this one, Lenne_ , she added with a bit of sarcasm.   _You couldn’t have just used a waltz, huh?_  

Amusement radiated from her resident poltergeist; apparently Lenne had no problems performing the highly suggestive number in front of Braska, Jecht, and a handful of random crew members.

“...Should I even ask what you’re casting now?”  Braska’s eyes were glued to what Rikku hoped were _only_ her legs.  

 _Wait, it’s Braska._  She heaved a mental sigh and continued dancing.  “It’s for the gunners,” she finally managed, panting.  “And stop distracting me!  This one is complicated.”  Sliding across the deck, she released the spell, letting its power wash over the soldiers.

“Hmm,” Braska said, enlightenment crossing his expression.  He twirled his staff, clearly having grasped the nature of the magic boost.  “I wonder if it will affect my spells as well.”  He settled into a casting stance.

“Oh, I get it!” Jecht said, grinning.  He held up a hand, flexing his fingers.  “Accuracy, huh?  Man, I sure feel like I could _hit that_!”

Rikku winced at the terrible pun and kept dancing.  At least Jecht could still _laugh_ in the face of their impending doom, which was something.  “Here it comes,” she noted.  

Sin’s huge body rose from the ocean, its myriad eyes twisting in every direction, like worms writhing across wet soil.  It was still several hundred meters away, but close enough for her to realize just how enormous their enemy was.  Even from that distance, it dwarfed their ship many times over, blotting out the sun.  It would only have to open its gigantic maw to swallow the _Pride_ whole.

“That thing keeps gettin’ uglier each time I see it,” Jecht muttered, taking a step backwards.

Auron shouted a command, and the roar of the cannons firing in unison split the air.  Sin let out an inhuman screech as most of the weapons struck their mark and pyreflies rose from several of its now-destroyed eyestalks.  

The crew prepared for another broadside under Auron’s orders.

“How long can you maintain your spell, Rikku?” Braska asked as a fissure of light surrounded him.

“Not much longer,” she gasped, feeling the sweat soaking through her bandana.  “If you’re gonna trance, hurry up.”

“A pity.”  He lifted his hand.  His brow furrowed in concentration and a tiny, glimmering ball of light descended from the clouds.  Another one fell, and then another.  It almost looked as though twinkling stars were dropping out of the sky to float around Sin’s massive head.  The tiny points winked against Sin’s armor before exploding into multiple coronas, removing a few more of the eyestalks.  Braska dropped his hand, ending the spell with a grunt.

Jecht closed his jaw with a snap.  “That… that was all you, B?”

“That was as powerful as I could make it,” Braska said, frustration clear in his voice.  “Even if we combined all of our skills, we could only hope to temporarily blind it at best.”

“Can we outrun it?” Rikku huffed, doggedly continuing to dance as the gunners on the _Pride_ fired again.  “We can’t face that head on!  We don’t have enough firepower!”

Braska cast a healing spell over her, allowing Rikku to catch her breath.  “You may be right,” he said.  “But I’m not sure Sin is going to give us a choice.”  He pointed.

She slowed to a stop.  Sin was rising out of the sea.  On _wings._

Several surprised cries sounded across the deck when Sin hefted its body clumsily into the air, supported by two crystalline wings.  They were unevenly developed, only sprouting from one side of its body, and one was much larger than the other.  

“I have never seen anything like that,” Braska said, paling as Auron rejoined them.

  
Rikku shuddered.   _I have_.  The thought provided little comfort.  “Tell me you have a plan,” she begged Auron.

“Run,” he said.  “And be prepared to swim.”  He turned and looked at Sin, which was now circling over the sea in an unsteady wobble.  “But I don’t think Captain Hewley agrees with my assessment.”

“Oh, so that’s why we’re sailing towards it.  Good.”

“Indeed.”

She put a hand over her mouth and tried not to gag as the toxin grew stronger.   _On the plus side, it’s harder to panic when you’re busy trying not to toss your cookies._

“Where’d it get them glowy wings from?” Jecht asked as pods of spawn bombarded the deck once again.  “It’s impressive as hell, but ain’t that some pretty bad design, havin’ ‘em only on one side like that?”

Sin faltered and wavered before righting itself, as if to prove Jecht’s point.

“That is no natural evolution of Sin.”  Auron squinted.  “ _We_ did that.”  That brought him a round of surprised stares, which he ignored.  “Those wings emerge from an area that should have been a foreleg.”  He gestured with his sword.  “They aren’t wings.  They’re _wounds_.”  His voice was calm, but there was surprise – and maybe even something like hope – on his face as he made the observation.  “When we killed Sin’s child at Mushroom Rock, we wounded it greatly enough to force it to change forms.   _Without_ the Final Aeon.”

Rikku narrowed her eyes.   _He’s right!_  She studied Sin, trying to pinpoint the locations of its crystalline scars.  Auron had guessed the biggest wing was the result of their explosive battle at Mushroom Rock; the smaller one was most likely the fin they’d destroyed in Macalania Forest.  She even saw traces of crystalline growth near the top of Sin’s massive head; either Auron must have been angrier than he let on when he unleashed his Tornado, or the crusaders stationed at Luca were better at fighting Sin than she’d suspected.

 _We brought it to this point without the airship!  Even Yuna and Tidus didn’t manage that!_ Renewed determination filled her.

“Think we can do it again?” she asked as their ship came closer.  The guns fired once more, but this time, they seemed only to garner Sin’s attention, puncturing her burgeoning hope.  It turned to face them, and wind whipped violently over the ship.

“Holy _shit_.  I know that one,” Jecht muttered, eyes wide.  “We gotta get off this boat!  That’s the spell that trashed the Pualu!”

“And go where?” Auron said, even as his expression grew grim.  “There’s no escaping this.”

A tight knot of fear grew in Rikku’s belly as her eyes sought out Auron, expanding further when she met his gaze and saw his grim resignation register.

It was that, more than anything, that chilled her to the bone. Auron was many things:  determined, deeply convicted in his beliefs, both thoughtful and passionate.  Someone like him didn’t just _give up_.

The truth of the upcoming attack closed her throat, filling her with an entirely new, different sort of panic than the fear for her own life.   _No.  I just found him, the real him!  It can’t end like this, not yet –_  

She lost her balance from the sudden lurch of the deck.  The _Pride_ was already spinning in a tightening circle, sucked in by Sin’s massive gravity spell.  The sails lifted, and wood snapped violently around them as the masts broke off.  

Screaming crusaders were hurled into the air along with the debris, and the pull of the gravity spell latched onto her next.  Auron flung himself towards her, grabbing onto her hand and pulling her into his arms.  His grip was crushing and she clutched onto his waist like a lifeline.   _If this is it, neither of us is going to the Farplane alone this time_ , she thought vehemently.  

He returned her squeeze, and in that moment she surrendered to her desire to forget about the Pilgrimage, her friends, even the future.  All that mattered was _Auron_ , and she tried to stretch every moment she had left with him.

The hull of the boat started to unravel, like pieces of thread being picked apart from their stitches.  It was as though time had slowed down, almost like when the Fayth had choked her during her attempts to gatecrash their inner sanctums.  But it wasn’t painful or beyond her control this time; she measured every breath they took, soaked in the hypersensitized feel of Auron’s skin against her own.

_I thought your life was supposed to flash before your eyes, but I can’t stop looking at him.  It’s all I want to see._

Auron’s gaze was fixed on her, and his expression softened even as their bodies began to lift away from the deck.  “ _Ri –_ ”

The magic collapsed in an explosion of light, knocking them off their feet.  The damaged ship rocked but held together, whirling in the wake of Sin’s spell.  Sin’s earth-shattering roar thundered through the sky as it dropped back down into the sea, crystalline wings flexing.

“What happened?” Braska shouted, even as the surviving crusaders scrambled to bring the remains of the ship back under control.  “Did we attack it?”

“No,” Rikku said, her eyes wide as another beam of energy hit Sin.  “Not _us._ ”

“ _Vun_ _Bikanel!_   _Vun Rusa!_ ”   

A gigantic catamaran raced past them.  It dwarfed the _Pride_ and moved too quickly to be any sail-driven vessel.  Two very familiar-looking wave-powered fins allowed the ship to skim over the water at high speeds.  And on its deck, a gigantic double-barreled machina was still crackling with energy from the last shot it had fired.

 _I know that ship._ “It’s Dra Muja Puyd!”  She struggled to her feet.

“The _what_?” Jecht yelled, then shook his head.  “Screw it!  I don’t care what they call themselves, long as they’re here to rescue us!”

Auron also stood, tracking the foreign ship.  “The Al Bhed.  That is one of their deep sea salvagers.  You recognize it, Rikku?”

She nodded, watching as the ship turned away from an enraged Sin.  “The Love Boat.  It’s Cid’s ship,” she repeated, feeling faint.  

Her father had taken great pride in naming it that, despite everyone else’s objections.   _“It’s a name that promises something for everyone!”_ he’d declared.  And it wasn’t just _any_ deep sea salvage class vessel.  No.  This, too, was a flagship.  

And she _knew_ who was sailing it.

“Then, it’s your family?” Braska asked, also scrambling to his feet.  “We must help them!”

“Looks like they’re the ones helpin’ us,” Jecht pointed out as the boat pulled up next to them.

The Al Bhed tossed rope ladders down towards their deck, along with a bevy of colorful commands in their native tongue.  The remaining crusaders needed no urging; they abandoned their sinking _Pride_ as quickly as they could climb over.  

Auron grimaced.  “Let’s hope Cid doesn’t consider consigning you to death at sea a fitting repayment for Raenn’s loss,” he said to Braska as they ran for safety.

“ _Rinno!  Rinno!_ ”

“We _are_ hurrying!” Rikku shot back, rushing up the ladder amidst the other soldiers.  She pulled herself onto the deck and made a cursory check around herself; Team BARJ had made it across, and in the chaos it looked like none of the Al Bhed had identified Braska.

“We ain’t outta hot water yet!” Jecht said, gesturing towards the huge machina mounted on the deck of the ship.

The Al Bhed were preparing to fire their laser once more.  But, even as they activated the weapon, Sin’s hide shimmered and flexed, firing its own dark beam of energy across the sea towards them.  The twin blasts, light and dark, intercepted each other over the water.

A deafening explosion shattered the air, and the incredible pressure flattened her against the deck of the ship a second time.  When it cleared, sound echoed dully through her pounding eardrums.  Ignoring the strange, tinny buzz, she craned her neck and felt her stomach drop.  

The explosion had damaged the Al Bhed’s laser cannon.  It was powering down despite the desperate efforts of the engineers working around it.  More importantly, the catamaran had been rocked off-course from the blast; some of the crusaders who hadn’t been lucky enough to make it over screamed and cried as they dropped into the water, caught midway between the two ships.

Auron cursed.  “Sin just disabled our only chance at victory.  We must retreat while it’s distracted,” he ordered, scanning the blonde heads that surrounded them for any sort of leader.

“Braska’s got other ideas,” Jecht said.

She turned to find Braska surrounded by a rotating ring of shining symbols, falling into Rapture.

  
Auron bit out an oath and leapt over to hold Braska steady as the sky overhead parted.  “You fool,” he growled.

 _Well, I guess they know Braska’s here now._ Then she paused, blinking.   _What is he doing?_  “Wait,” Rikku said, watching as Valefor tumbled out of the sky and shot past them.  “He’s not trying to attack Sin!”  

The aeon dipped rapidly over the water, fishing out men from the sea with her clawed feet and throwing them carelessly onto the deck of their ship.  There were going to be more than a few broken bones and concussions to heal if they made it out alive, but she was fairly certain the crusaders who’d been grabbed wouldn’t be complaining about it.  

“We need to buy Braska more time!” she shouted.

“With no weapon, we can’t,” Auron told her.  “We have to leave.   _Now._ ”

 _Lenne_ , she thought.   _Can we do this?_  “Let me try something.  It won’t hurt whether we flee or stand our ground,” she said.  

Despite his fierce look of chagrin, he gave her a curt nod.

Even before he’d finished the motion, she was running toward the broken gun.  She skidded to a stop next to the two Al Bhed working on the laser.

They turned to face her.  “ _What are you doing here?  Who are you?_ ”

“ _I’m here to help!_ ”  Rikku shouted, pointing at the darkened weapon.  “ _I can fix it!_ ”

“ _Impossible!_ ” the female technician yelled.  “ _The power generator was completely fried by Sin, not to mention the rigging!  There’s nothing left to fix!_ ”

Rather than bothering to answer, Rikku lifted her arms and brought a Thundaga spell crashing onto the machina.  The Al Bhed leapt backwards with cries of dismay; she ignored them and sent two more spells onto her target before she began to dance.  Whorls of light spread from her feet; she tried to picture the machina in her mind.  

 _Work_ , she coaxed, imagining the steps she followed ran along a path of unbroken circuits.   _Please, work_ , she prayed, hoping her magic would channel the electricity she supplied.  

The laser sparked to life as she danced, and one of the technicians sprang into action, not bothering to question _how_ she was restoring it.  

“ _That… is not possible,_ ” the other said, watching as the cannon tilted upwards and tracked Sin’s movements across the water.  “ _It isn’t even designed to move that quickly!_ ”

“ _Shut up and help me fire this thing!_ ” Rikku heard the smarter of the two technicians shout.  

A humming sound flooded the ship, and then with a low whine, the laser fired again, bright and dangerous.  It struck Sin directly at close range; once again, the ship rocked back through the water.  More shouts arose.

The remaining foreleg of Sin was dangling from its torso by a few scraps of flesh, and thousands of pyreflies screamed in release.  Sin’s outer hide began to writhe, attempting to catch the nearly-severed limb and re-weld it to its body.  

Another high-pitched scream rang through the air.

  
Valefor banked to a stop; it was almost ridiculous how tiny the mighty aeon looked next to Sin.  It didn’t slow her down, however; flapping her wings, she puffed out her chest and opened her mouth, blasting a sharp line of energy across the dangling limb that severed it cleanly.  

Roaring, Sin whirled its massive body around, slicing its huge tail through the aeon and dissolving Valefor into pyreflies.  

With a hiss and loud crackle, more white crystals formed a protective layer against the hole they’d punched into Sin’s outer shell.  A tiny white wing extended from the wound, unfurling to join the others on Sin’s back.

“ _We got it!_ ”  The cheers rising from the members of the crew cut off as Sin flexed its skin; the sky abruptly darkened with a thick hail of pods, speeding towards them.

Rikku’s steps faltered as she stared at the incoming missiles.  She raised her arms to cast _anything_ that might slow them down, but blinked as a several of them exploded into balls of fire.  

_What?_

She cringed as Ifrit landed with a thud next to her, then immediately leapt off of the deck, high into the air overhead.  

The aeon drew his arms back and punched, sending flaming balls of rock into the sky.  Although he couldn’t contain Sin’s attack, most of the fiends went up in smoke well before they hit the deck of the ship.  He landed with a snort on the edge of the transom, huffing and growling streams of fire.

Taking advantage of the brief moment of respite Ifrit’s attack afforded her, Rikku ran back towards her companions.  Jecht was keeping Braska steady, but she didn’t see Auron.  Scanning the ship, she finally spotted the red flash of his coat.  

He’d found the leader of the Al Bhed and was trying to organize a retreat, arguing with the captain even as she approached.  

Spotting her, Auron gestured her over.  “Rikku!  You need to translate!”

“What did you say?”  The Al Bhed turned to face her, ignoring the thunderous expression on Auron’s face as he spoke in the common tongue.  

His goggles were still pulled down, but even that couldn’t change what she saw.  The same eyes, the same nose, the same chin that had been burned into her memory.

“ _Who are you?  Raenn?_ ” he called out in Al Bhed, his voice thick with suspicion and disbelief.

Despite the battle raging around them, despite Auron’s urgent demands, she couldn’t bring her feet to move any closer.  “It can’t be,” she muttered.

His head tilted in confusion.  “ _No… you aren’t Raenn.  What happened?_ ”  The captain’s hand lifted towards her, but Auron cut him off.

  
“We don’t have time for a _touching reunion_!  Move this ship or we die!”  He pointed his sword at Sin.

It was now drifting above the water, charging for some sort of attack that created a ring of light around its entire body.

The captain immediately began bellowing orders to the crew.  “ _Retreat!  Full throttle, we need to get out of range!_ ”  

The ship jumped to life as the Al Bhed reacted to his command; it was a responsive vessel that _flew_ over the water, carrying them away from Sin more quickly than even her last joyride on the back of the remora.  Still, she knew they weren’t going to be fast enough to outrun Sin’s attack.  

Yuna had told Rikku the story of Operation Mi’ihen.  Sin’s charge had obliterated the warriors fighting there, and driven the tamed chocobo population to near-extinction.  Rikku was one of the few Al Bhed who had been lucky enough to avoid witnessing the slaughter first-hand.  

That didn’t mean she couldn’t recognize the signs of Sin’s penultimate attack when she saw it.  

_Not if I can help it!_

She began dancing again, trying the same spell she’d used on the laser.   _It isn’t even designed to move that quickly_ , one of the technicians had said.  She only hoped the spell would work on the ship, too.

Ifrit roared; the huge aeon drew his arms together and hunkered down, shaking.  A wall of fire rose around the aft of the ship, weaving into a pattern familiar to what she’d remembered seeing in Kilika’s Cloister of Trials.  This, however, was on a scale much grander than the doorway that had blocked Jecht’s progress.  Ifrit’s fiery shield engulfed the entire breadth of the boat.

And then, the air itself seemed to compress, and Sin released its attack.

Water droplets rose upwards in defiance of gravity, before exploding into fine mist.  The attack missed the ship, but the resulting waves still threw them across the water.

Rikku’s legs threatened to buckle but Lenne took over, forcing her to continue dancing to one beat – _go, go, go!_  

The boat rose and they sliced through the water like a low-flying airship.  Even at their speed, the reactionary shock wave still caught them.  

Ifrit snarled as his shield disintegrated under the force of the blast; a moment later, it tore the aeon’s body apart.  Their shield gone, the back of the catamaran began to twist and warp, bending under the strain.

Connected as she was to the ship with her dance, Rikku felt when both of the rudders broke off.  Her feet moved, pulling them back in, the magic holding together fractured steel and bent plates of metal just enough to keep them _moving_.  

She stumbled more than once, as though the force attempting to pull the ship apart was a physical weight dragging her feet off rhythm, but Lenne pushed her back into place.  

The pressure lightened as another shield formed around them; this time it was a cocoon of ice.  Shiva dropped out of the sky to kneel on the ruined transom, her arms crossed before her and baring her teeth.  The rapidly cooling metal of the ravaged ship stopped bending like self-folding origami.  

Rikku’s moment of relief was short lived, however.  They were still trapped in the wake, and Shiva’s power was no greater than Ifrit’s.  The aeon trembled and then splintered apart as the pressure tore through her shield as well.

The loss of protection lifted the ship out of the water, sending it spinning, and Rikku’s feet slipped, breaking Lenne’s spell.  Groans of bending metal rocked the catamaran as the pieces that she had held together with little more than magic fell away, leaving their vessel crippled.  

The boat hit the water with a shudder but remained upright.  A honeycomb of protective light formed around them.  

It seemed that this time, Braska hadn’t even bothered to call an aeon, simply casting a weaker spell by himself in favor of speed.

Rikku sat up as the shaking deck came to a gradual stop; sirens were blaring and panicked shouts split the air, but somehow, they were still alive.  She looked out across the ocean towards Sin, surprised by the distance they’d managed to put between themselves and the giant beast.   _No wonder, it feels like I danced holes into the soles of my boots_ , she thought dazedly, dismissing her dressphere.

Sin’s glowing wings glinted against the sun.  Then, it turned away from them and dove into the ocean, disappearing from sight.

“ _Is it over?_ ” she heard someone ask tremulously.  It was a good question; one someone else could answer, she decided, falling back and closing her eyes.

“Lord Braska!”  The shout of a crusader in the common tongue snapped her eyes open again.

“Back off, he’ll be fine,” Jecht yelled.  She turned her head and saw Jecht standing over her, hefting an unconscious Braska over one shoulder.  “B took himself out castin’ that last spell,” he greeted her.  “How ‘bout you?  I don’t got enough arms left to carry the both of ya.”

“My feet hurt,” she complained, though she did make an effort to stand up and join him.

“No kiddin’,” Jecht replied.  “Thank your dead friend for dancin’ us outta that tough spot.”  Despite their apparent victory, he looked grim.  “We’re gonna have to fight that again all by ourselves, huh?”

“If what Auron told us is right, at least it’s a little bit smaller now,” she said, trying to find a bright side.  “... and airborne.”   _Maybe there is no bright side_.

They found Auron gathering the crusaders.  Hewley had gone down with his ship, leaving the soldiers in chaos.  Auron was establishing command over the remaining confused and disheartened warriors.  

Seeing them approach, he offered a few more words of advice to the young soldier trailing him.  “Keep the men calm; sort out those fit for duty and administer what aid you can to the injured.  I’m leaving you in charge until I return.”

The crusader he addressed gulped, then gave him a firm salute.  “Yes, sir!”  

Auron nodded in approval and faced them.  “They’re suffering, but not as much as they would be if it wasn’t for Braska,” he said.  “He nearly killed us all just to rescue a few more of their men.”  There wasn’t any anger in his voice as he spoke, though; he lifted a hand and placed it on Braska’s forehead.  “Thank you, my friend.”

“ _You!  Over there!  Bring the summoner and the other Guardians inside!_ ”

She jumped at the words in her native tongue. Turning, she saw a handful of Al Bhed waiting for them, guns pointed.  Some of the less injured crusaders behind them jumped to their feet, but Auron held up a hand and shook his head.

“What do they want?” he asked her.

“ _No discussion!  You come now, or we will bring you!_ ” one of the Al Bhed shouted, waving his gun to support the clear command.

“They want to see the summoner and his Guardians,” Rikku translated.  “I think we better go before this gets uglier,” she muttered, eying the seething crusaders behind them.  “ _We’re coming.  Chill out, our summoner’s been injured.  Protecting your ship, remember?_ ”  She added the last with bite.

“ _Only because we rescued you Yevonite fools,_ ” the Al Bhed answered as he led them into the hanger.  “ _Look at what you did to our ship!  And the laser is destroyed!  Cid is going to have our heads.  The price was too high!_ ”

“ _You’d rather have even more people dying just to save your stupid laser?_ ” she shot back, growing angry.  

“What’re you arguin’ about?” Jecht grumbled in a low undertone.  “Don’t think it’s a real smart idea to make ‘em mad right now, Blondie.”

Rikku ground her teeth.  “Some people don’t have their priorities straight,” she answered.

“ _You’re right._   _You can’t put a value on human life._   _Maqui, put your gun down.  They are our guests, not our prisoners._ ”  The young man turned towards her and lifted his goggles.  “ _I see uncle Braska.  But is it really you, Rikku?_ ”

She thought about saying something else, but seeing him standing there before her – so vibrant, so _alive_ – Rikku found her lies unravelling.  She couldn’t, she just _couldn’t_ pretend, not in front of _him_.  “Kei-kei,” she said, her voice thick, reverting to the only name her five-year-old self had been able to call him before he’d left on his disasterrific maiden voyage.  Cid had grounded her poor brother for an entire year after he totaled both their flagship _and_ the laser.  She hadn’t realized _she’d_ been part of that disaster.

Keyakku took one step forward, then another, still utterly confused, but clearly recognizing her all the same.  “Rie-Rie.”  His hands came to her shoulders; they were nearly the same height.  He didn’t question her as she collapsed into his arms, sobbing while she hugged him.  Instead, he just stroked her back, his voice laced with confusion and wonder.  “ _What happened to you,_ ** _little_** _sister?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A catamaran is a boat with parallel twin hulls. A transom the aft (tail end) area of a catamaran.
> 
> The Love Boat is very loosely inspired by the Suntory Mermaid II, the world’s only wave-powered passenger vessel. The canon unnamed Al Bhed carrier has two (erroneously shaped for wave power) fins, which you can spot when you go diving with Tidus at the start of FFX. I say loosely because the Love Boat is bolstered with a machina engine for more speed. 
> 
> And yes, Cid’s name for the Love Boat was inspired by the late 70’s TV show of the same name! Real fans may even recognize Cid’s line about “something for everyone” from the theme song. *evil cackle*
> 
> Al Bhed translations:  
> Dra Muja Puyd - The Love Boat  
> “Vun Bikanel! Vun Rusa!” - “For Bikanel! For Home!”  
> “Rinno! Rinno!” - “Hurry! Hurry!”
> 
> Abilities used this battle:  
> Auron [Bushido]: Dragon Fang: Damage all enemies; delays enemy turn  
> Rikku [Songstress]: Sleepy Shuffle: inflict Sleep on all enemies while dancing  
> Rikku [Songstress]: Dirty Dancing: the party inflicts critical hits while you dance (LOL)  
> Braska [Valefor]: Energy Ray  
> Braska [Ifrit]: Meteor Strike, Shield  
> Braska [Shiva]: Shield
> 
> Sin’s attack and the aftermath was very much inspired by the Baker atomic test, which you can find videos of on YouTube.


	49. Water Runs Deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 3 Sept 17 for some minor errors; most grammatical, some minor rephrasing, one timeline consistency error. I am still insanely thankful to the returning readers who have left touching, in-depth reviews about rediscovering this story. It means a lot to me to know I didn't lose all of you during that years-long hiatus, and that even after all this time has passed, you still enjoy the story enough to tell me about it.

“So, you _do_ know each other,” Auron said.

Rikku forced herself to let go of her brother – her living, breathing,  _ alive-alive-alive _ brother – and step back.  “Um,” she said, swiping at her eyes.  

“I’m not sure that’s true just yet,” Keyakku muttered, looking shell-shocked.  He couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from her.

She coughed out a watery laugh and tugged one of her braids.  “This is Keyakku.”

“I know.  We’ve met,” Auron said before focusing on Keyakku.  “Aren’t you a little young to be having your own command?  Where’s your father?”

Keyakku’s expression cooled.  “Unlike  _ you people _ , the Al Bhed gain ranks by  _ talent _ , not  _ privilege _ .  I’ve been commanding this ship since I was sixteen.  So, you’ll answer to  _ me _ here, Auron.”

“Hnn,” Auron grunted, looking unimpressed.  

Rikku snorted.  Keyakku was a Pollendina – Al Bhed royalty, as Maechen had said – whereas Auron was the orphan who’d had to claw his way up through the warrior-monk ranks.  

Still, Auron only continued by saying, “You’ve grown.”

“Can you guys have your lil’ chat later?” Jecht cut in, hefting Braska’s unconscious body in his arms.  “He ain’t light.”

“Uncle Braska!” Keyakku said, jumping.  “I’m sorry.  Please, bring him here.”  He turned to his men and switched to his native tongue.  “ _ Maqui, you and the others go outside and deal with the Yevonites.  Food, medicine.  Don’t rough them up, but take their weapons if they have any. _ ”  

“ _ Keyakku!  What about  _ **_him_ ** _? _ ”  Maqui pointed his gun at Auron, who remained unintimidated by the show of force.  “ _ Do you not remember the last time? _ ”

“ _I will handle_ _Auron_ ,” Keyakku said, stern _._ _“Leave us. That’s an order._ ”  He paused, as if to stare at her again, before visibly shaking himself and moving deeper into the ship.

Rikku and the others followed.  She craned her neck, examining the sparking cables and damaged paneling surrounding them.

“ _ Sin really busted up Father’s boat, _ ” Rikku said, wincing as she ducked under a hanging wire.  

Keyakku froze, obviously tensing at her mention of Cid.  

Rikku swallowed and pushed down the nausea roiling through her stomach.   _ I guess he’s still trying to process everything, too. _

After a moment, the shock bled from his body, and his shoulders drooped.  “ _ Pops is gonna blow a gasket, _ ” he agreed.  “ _ My first voyage out, and what do I do?  Destroy the gun and total the ship. _ ”  

He stopped and pressed a panel on a door; it slid open, revealing a modest cabin containing a desk fitted between two bunk beds.  Though divested of any adornments – and a little on the small side – it was still clean and serviceable for the four of them.  

_ And loads better than the brig. _

“You can put Uncle Braska down over there,” Keyakku told them.  “I’ll get you some water.”

Jecht placed Braska carefully onto a bed and let out a sigh of relief, cracking his neck.  “Thanks for rescuin’ us, kid.  But, you mind tellin’ us what you were talkin’ about with  _ Rie-Rie _ ?  We don’t all speak your language, ya know.”

She blanched at hearing Jecht use the nickname.   _ He better not pick that up… _

Keyakku sighed and rummaged through one of the desk’s drawers.  Pulling out an Al Bhed primer, he threw it at Jecht’s head.  “Then learn it yourself, hotshot,” he said.  “Rikku.  Come with me.  You still know where everything is, right?”

“Um.  Yeah,” she admitted, daring a glance at Auron.  His brows were drawn together, and he was studying her as though she were a baffling puzzle.  “I’ll be back in a jiffy, okay?  You guys keep Braska safe and sound.  I don’t think everyone here’s as nice as Keyakku.”

Jecht waved a hand in her direction, then spread himself over one of the other free beds.  He began flipping through the primer, sounding out letters.  

Auron rolled his eyes and nodded at her, pulling out his sword and stationing himself by the door.  “Do what you need to.  I understand that your circumstances are delicate, but remember your duty,” he told her.  “And, be careful,” he added in a low undertone.

She nodded, reading his message loud and clear.   _ Find a way to keep Braska safe until we can escape. _  She hoped they wouldn’t  _ have _ to escape, but for all of Keyakku’s goodwill, they  _ had _ destroyed both the ship  _ and _ the cannon.  It had taken the Al Bhed the better part of ten years to properly repair that cannon after her brother’s “failure” the first time.  

Rikku knew.  She’d helped.   _ Pops always did say we had to clean up our own messes _ , she thought, semi-hysterically _. _

Thinking about how she’d just broken the cannon that she and her family had spent years fixing... it made her head hurt almost as much as worrying about what Kei was going to say once things settled down.

_ My problems are getting more complicated than Lulu’s skirt. _

She and Keyakku exited the cabin.  After the door slid closed, he crossed his arms and faced her with an unhappy frown.  “ _ Way to undermine my authority in front of just about everybody, Rie-Rie.  It’s hard enough trying to be captain of this ship when I’m younger than almost anyone else here.  If you weren’t my sister, I’d probably punish you for that. _ ”  He stopped, then smirked.  “ _ Hey, wait a minute, maybe I  _ **_can_ ** _ punish you for that! _ ”

“ _ Don’t get any ideas, _ ” she warned.  “ _ I still remember that time you locked me in the cargo hold with the snakes!  I  _ **_hate_ ** _ snakes! _ ”

Keyakku grinned.  “ _Come on, that was all Brother’s_ _idea.  And they weren’t snakes!  It was just cable insulation.  It’s not my fault you’re gullible._ ”  His grin faded.  “ _But it_ ** _is_** _you, isn’t it?  Only my siblings would know that story.  You’re really my baby sister, all grown up?_ ”

Two Al Bhed mechanics squeezed by them, eying Rikku with open curiosity.  “ _ Everything okay, Captain? _ ” one of them asked.

“ _ It’s fine, _ ” he said, tilting his head in a silent order to keep moving.  They saluted and continued on without batting an eye.

“ _ You’re… really good at this, _ ” she observed.

“ _ Why wouldn’t I be?  We’re not all like Pops, y’know, _ ” he replied with a smirk.

“ _ Hey, let’s not talk out here, _ ” Rikku said.  “ _ I don’t want anyone listening in on what I’ve got to tell you. _ ”

“ _ Captain’s quarters?  They’re mine until we get back to Bikanel and Pops demotes me.  Or maybe just throttles me _ .”  He paused and sighed.  “ _ Not that we’ll make it back any time soon.  Last I heard, the engine was shot, so we’re sitting ducks out here. _ ”

“ _ I’ll help you fix it, _ ” she said, slamming her hand onto the panel that opened the door to Keyakku’s cabin.  Or  _ Rikku’s cabin _ , as she liked to call it.  It  _ had _ been hers too, once upon a time.  It hadn’t changed much –  _ or is it the other way around? _ – from her own memories: more spacious than most of the other rooms on the ship, but still aggressively spartan.  

“ _ Help fix it?  Wow.  You know your way around machina that well now, huh?  You always were clever, _ ” Keyakku said, waving the door shut behind them.  He pulled his goggles off and ran his fingers through his hair.  A muscle in his cheek jumped.  

She recognized his nervous tic; it was the only reason her father could ever best Kei at poker.  It only appeared when he was under a lot of stress.  In his later years, her brother had worked hard to bring it under control, and she’d delighted in teasing him about the rigorous facial exercises he practiced daily.  It didn’t seem quite as funny now, knowing she was currently the source of his discomfort.

_ “Kei-kei? _ ”

Rather than answer her, he dove for the large desk in the corner of the room and fished out a bottle of  _ paan _ – some of the Al Bhed’s finest, judging from the label.  Popping the cap off, he took a huge swig.

“ _ Hey! _ ”  She plucked the drink from him; he sputtered in protest.  “ _ You’re only seventeen!  You’re not supposed to have this stuff yet! _ ”

Keyakku snatched the bottle back and glared.  “ _ One, my crew and I just survived a fight with Sin by the skin of our teeth.  Two… well, do I even need a two?  Look at you! _ ”  He winced and took another long draught, then stared at the ceiling for a moment before setting the bottle down with a decisive thud.  “ _ Okay.  Now I think I can handle whatever you’re gonna tell me.  I’m ready. _ ”

“ _ I’m not, _ ” she said, making grabby hands towards the bottle.

He slid it away from her with a frown.  “ _ You’re only five!  Stop it before you mess up your brain!  Or maybe it’s too late already, huh? _ ”

Eyebrow twitching, she crossed her arms. “ _ Really, Kei-kei? _ ”

“ _ Couldn’t resist.  If I don’t keep laughing at you, I’ll probably lose my mind. _ ”  Keyakku shrugged.  “ _ So.  Did someone discover a machina for time travel?  How old are you, anyway?  Why’d you come here? _ ”  He stopped, then asked, more solemnly, “ _ Did we finally defeat Sin? _ ”

Wincing, she sorted through the questions.  “ _ Not… exactly?  Twenty-one.  It was kind of an accident. _ ”  She rocked on the balls of her feet.  “ _ And… yeah.  Yeah, we did. _ ”

Keyakku slumped, tension leeching from his frame.  “ _ Are you lying? _ ”

Rikku shook her head.  “ _ I wouldn’t.  Not about that. _ ”

Keyakku reached for the bottle, saluted with it, then took another drink.  “ _ Explain ‘not exactly. _ ’ ”  He grew agitated, drumming his fingers nervously on the desk.  “ _ Doesn’t you being  _ **_here_ ** _ , in this time, fuck everything up? _ ”  He raked a hand through his hair as his voice rose.  “ _ Holy machina, why’d you even tell me, Rie-Rie? _ ”

She sighed.  Keyakku always had been the  _ smart  _ one.  “ _ Look, I’m sorry, but lying to everyone I know here is getting pretty old!  I saw you _ – ” She choked down the word ‘alive.’  “ –  _ and just.  I didn’t want to lie anymore.  Not to you. _ ”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, remaining still until his cheek stopped twitching.  Then, he cleared his throat, struggling to keep his voice calm.  “ _ Start with the machina, _ ” he instructed.  “ _ If we beat Sin, why did you wanna go back and change things? _ ”

“ _ Weren’t you listening?  There is no time-travel machina, Kei!  I didn’t want to come here! _ ” she exploded.  “ _ What part of ‘accident’ don’t you get? _ ”

“ _ But how can an accident send you backwards through time? _ ”

“ _ I don’t know, alright?  It was a surprise to me, too!  I was just minding my own business, trying to make my peace with the dead, and then… I sorta...fell-off-that-ledge-in-the-Farplane. _ ”  Her voice sank as she spoke, watching Keyakku’s face morph from frustration to incredulity.

“ _ You mean you were klutzy enough to fall off of a ledge in the Farplane. _ ”  He stared for a long moment at the bottle in his hands.  “ _ I don’t think this is helping. _ ”  He set it aside with careful movements.  “ _ Rie-Rie, are you an Unsent? _ ”

_ Wait, what? _  She blinked before answering.  “ _ I’m pretty sure I’m not dead. _ ”

“ _ How sure? _ ”

_ Is he serious? _  Well, judging from the twitch in his cheek, he probably was.  She made a see-sawing motion with her hand.  “ _ Like, the success rate of one of Pop’s patch-up jobs?  Maybe 80/20? _ ”

“ _ 80/20?  You know, I’m not so sure we’re talking about the same Cid here.  This is important _ –  _ something you need to know.  Ask Uncle Braska to Send you when he wakes up, _ ” he ordered.

Rikku made a face at him, then froze when she realized he wasn’t smirking.  

“ _ You think I’m joking?  You’re my sister, and I love you, but if you died, you need to accept it and move on! _ ”

She sank to the floor and put her head between her knees.  “ _ I don’t wanna hear that from  _ **_you_ ** _ , _ ” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut.  

Changing the future.  He said it like she didn’t already  _ know _ that, wrestle with it  _ every day _ , every time she looked at Auron.  She knew she could alter the course of history, for so many people.

For him.

All it would take was one little warning.  Just a few small words from her lips, and Kei wouldn’t be at Home when Seymour’s goons attacked.  He wouldn’t have to die in her arms.

But, if he knew, Kei would never let Home be destroyed by the Yevonites.  Heck, Seymour’s attack might not have even succeeded.

She bit her lip.  On the other hand, if it didn’t happen, Cid would never grant Yuna the use of the Fahrenheit  _ or _ the pulse cannon, not when there was still a chance to squirrel away the Summoners from their Pilgrimage.

Their best method to fight Sin just… removed, with one small sentence from her.  

Was so much truly riding on what she said to Keyakku?   _ It’s just one little warning _ , her mind whispered tauntingly.  _  I could change the future. _

_ And damn it at the same time. _

She clenched her hand, nails digging pinpricks of pain into her palms.   _ I hate this!  I hate being powerless!  Why do I have to choose between my brother and Yuna?  Between Auron and Sin?  Why do I have to decide if Tidus ever gets to live?  _  Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, making her angrier.   _ Is that all I can do with my memories?  Cry?  What’s the  _ **_point_ ** _? _

In the tense silence that settled, she heard Keyakku’s chair creak as he stood.  He slid down next to her and pulled her into a hug.  “ _ Sorry, _ ” he said.  “ _ It must be hard. _ ”  He sounded guilty.  “ _ Don’t cry.  You’re making me feel like the bad guy here. _ ”

“ _ I’m not crying, _ ” she said, sniffing.  “ _ I just have something in my eye. _ ”

“ _ Yeah.  Something like tears, huh? _ ”  Laughing, he squeezed her.  “ _ I am happy to see you like this, y’know?  My baby sister, all grown up. _ _ You’ve even gotten pretty, so I guess I’m gonna need to invest in a better gun. _ ”  He huffed.   _ “I hope you stopped hanging out with Gippal.  That kid’s trouble, I’m sure of it. _ ”

She giggled at that; it sounded wet and wobbly.  “ _ Yeah yeah.  I did learn my lesson eventually.  But now you can laugh about being right, if you want. _ ”

Keyakku chuckled again, then sighed.  “ _ You’ve gotta be better about letting stuff like that slip out!  Everything you change, even the tiniest details, are gonna mess with the future. _ ”

Rikku blinked.  She thought about Braska’s entire Pilgrimage to date.  “ _ Eh… I think it’s kinda too late to worry about changing the little things, _ ” she hedged.

“ _ …What have you done? _ ”

“ _ Well, for one, I dunno if you heard about it yet, but I’m  _ **_that_ ** _ Rikkma from Luca. _ ”

“ _ Of course you are. _ ”  Keyakku slapped his forehead.  “ _ This is how you know we’re Cid’s kids.  When we mess up, we mess up big.  I bet Brother’s gonna bring on the Apocalypse by sneezing or something. _ ”

Laughing – a little more naturally this time – she disentangled herself from his hug.  “ _ We need to get the others that water you promised.  They’re probably wondering if you killed me.  Auron gets twitchy when I make him wait too long. _ ”

“ _ What’s going on between you two anyway? _ ”  Keyakku stood to gather a few supplies, tone oozing suspicion.  “ _ Uncle Braska was cool, so I can understand hanging around him, but Auron?  Maester Mika’s pet assassin? _ ”

Rikku wheezed in shock.  “ _ You knew about that? _ ”

Keyakku gave her a disbelieving look, handing over a few blankets for her to carry.  “ _ Uncle Braska didn’t need Yevon’s Number One warrior monk as a bodyguard for the Ronso.  Why would he need one for us? _ ”  He scratched his ear as they exited the cabin and made their way back down the hall.  “ _ Although, considering the way Uncle Braska and Aunt Raenn busted out of Home, I guess they did need him after all. _ ”  

_ Not our finest moment, _ Rikku thought.

“ _ It took Pops a bit to cool off, but he  _ **_did_ ** _ want to welcome Uncle Braska back after everything. But then, Aunt Raenn died, and… well, you know. _ ”

“ _ Father would take Braska back? _ ”

“ _ Yeah, both him and Yunie.  No problem. _ ”

“ _ But not Auron, _ ” she added.

“ _ Not Auron, _ ” Keyakku agreed, coming to a stop before the guest quarters.  “ _ Now, please tell me my eyes weren’t working right before, _ ” he said.  “ _ Because Auron is one scary guy, and if you two are dating, I’m definitely gonna need a bigger gun. _ ”

She rolled her eyes and went to open the door.

Keyakku caught her hand before she could, pulling her close.  “ _No matter what happens_ , _Rie-Rie,_ _I love you.  Okay?_ ”

_ No matter what happens…?   _ Gulping, she gave him an uncertain hug.  But, it didn’t matter.  He was alive and they were together.  “ _ Okay _ .”

The door slid open, and she jumped.  

Auron stood there, looking displeased.  “I heard voices.”  He gave Keyakku an appraising once-over.  “Did I interrupt your touching reunion?”

Keyakku looked confused.  “Our – ”

She made a face.  “ _ No! _  Gross, Auron!  Keyakku is family – ”

Keyakku pinched her.

“OWW!”  She jerked away from Keyakku’s arms.  “What was that for?”

“ _ Chaos Theory! _ ” he muttered sullenly.

“ _ They already know we're related, dorkface! _ ”  Rikku squinted back at him, just as mean.

“The familial resemblance is uncanny,” Auron grunted, stepping aside.

Tearing his gaze away from Rikku, Keyakku entered the room, brushing past Auron.  “I brought you some food, water, and salts to wake Uncle,” Keyakku said, placing the items on the desk.  He faced Auron, almost comically stiff.  “I know you probably still think of me as that little kid at Cid’s side you met back then, but I’m a man now.”  He tensed when Auron only sent him a look full of amusement, but didn’t rise to the bait.  “A man protects his family, Auron.  So, if you mess with Rikku, you’re gonna have to deal with me.”

Jecht raised his head out of the primer.  “Now, this is gettin’ interesting,” he muttered, closing it with a grin.  “Am I finally hearin’ a shovel talk for Blondie?”

“Jecht,” she warned, exasperated.

“Your meathead got it right,” Keyakku said, crossing his arms and ignoring Jecht’s scowl.  “We’re in the middle of the ocean, and we Al Bhed are  _ really good _ at making stuff disappear.  If you don’t want to take a long walk off a short plank, you’ll keep your hands to yourself on my ship.”

“Kei-Kei!” she shouted, embarrassed.   _ Sweet machina, is this what it’s like to have a younger sibling? _  Keyakku must have had the patience of a Fayth while they were growing up.

“Let him posture,” Auron said, so clearly dismissive it was almost painful to watch.  “You have something to prove, boy?  I’ve gone through Cid before, too.  Don’t tempt fate.”  Apparently Auron’s patience wasn’t nearly as great as her brother’s.

Keyakku, looking slightly scared, nevertheless stood his ground.

“Ooh,” Jecht said, grabbing the smelling salts.  “Braska needs to be awake for this.  I heard he can regrow limbs if it gets messy.”

At the mention of Braska, Auron rolled his shoulders and looked away.  “We’ll continue this later,” he promised.  Then he moved to Braska’s side and cupped the summoner’s head while Jecht passed the medicine under Braska’s nose.

“Ung!”  Braska’s eyes shot open and he immediately batted the salts away from his face.  He held his head as Auron helped him sit up.  “What – where am I?”  

Keyakku kneeled down and pushed a bottle of water into Braska’s hands.  “ _ Uncle _ ,” Keyakku said.  “ _ Thank you for helping us escape from Sin. _ ”

Braska blinked, stared, and then blinked again.  “Keyakku?  Little Kei?”  He smiled, surprise evident on his face.  “ _ Not quite so little any longer, I see.  Look at the fine young man you’ve grown into! _ ”

“You speak that gobbledygook, B?”  Jecht winced when Auron slapped the back of his head.

“Of course,” Braska said.  “It wouldn’t make much sense to proselytize in a language I couldn’t speak, would it?”  He looked at Keyakku again.  “ _ I would like to apologize for what passed between your father and I so many years ago.  I never –  _ ”

“ _ Uncle.  Pops forgave you a long time ago. _ ”  Keyakku shook his head.  “ _ You’re part of our family now, too.  If anything, I should be apologizing for what my dad put you and Aunt Raenn through back then. _ ”

Some element of the tension Braska always seemed to be carrying vanished.  He closed his eyes for a moment, looking too overcome to form words.

“ _ Uncle? _ ” Keyakku asked.

“ _ Thank you, _ ” Braska whispered, clasping Keyakku’s shoulder and squeezing it with a trembling hand.  “ _ From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. _ ”

Rikku watched the scene unfold with both profound satisfaction and an unsettling feeling of jealousy.   _ I never realized how heavy that guilt was for Braska _ .   _ If I had told him the truth, I could have saved him from this so much sooner. _

“ _ Uncle _ ,” Keyakku continued, his voice wavering.  “ _ I need to ask you for a favor.  I wish I didn’t have to say it now, like this, but it’s urgent. _ ”

“ _ Anything _ ,” Braska replied, focusing his attention on Keyakku.  “ _ What is it that troubles you so, my nephew? _ ”

She frowned when Keyakku turned to look at her.  

“ _ I need you to Send Rikku.  Now, if possible. _ ”

She made a choking noise, and Braska went very still.

“What?” Auron asked suddenly, alert.  “What did he just say?”

“You want me to perform the Sending…?”  Braska turned to look at her, his obvious surprise slowly becoming tainted with uncertainty.  “Rikku,  _ how _ did your first Pilgrimage fail?”

She ignored Keyakku’s started glance, still trying to process her brother’s words. 

_ What the heck?  Didn’t he just agree to let me handle this?  Even if Kei suspected I was Unsent at first, I thought he believed me!  Was he lying this whole time? _  The rumbling feeling of nausea returned with a vengeance, even as her mind churned out a logical analysis.   _ But it all makes sense.  If it wasn’t for his cheek, Kei would have been the best poker player in the family, _ she thought, bitter.

“Rikku?” Braska prompted.

Reeling, she forced the words out.  “My summoner… she couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t make herself call the Final Aeon, so we didn’t.  But we didn’t all _die_ trying.”  Fury at Keyakku’s gall suddenly flooded her.  “ _I’m not dead!_ ” she yelled at her brother.  “ _How can you even joke like that,_ _Kei?_ ”

She chanced a glance at Braska, who was staring at his hands and rapidly paling.  He might not have been a  _ Yevonite _ any longer, but he was still a Summoner.  If there was one thing Yevon hammered home as greatly as the need to sacrifice themselves to Sin, it was their complete and utter commitment to the Sending.  For all that he might have rejected the Church, Braska was still a man of faith.  

The lies she’d spun to her friends – to  _ Braska _ – tightened around her like a noose.  Heart pounding, she tried to read him, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.  Still, she knew the expression crossing his face all too well: self-loathing and regret, warring for place under his placid Summoner’s mask.

A swell of indignation and betrayal welled up in her chest.   _ You said you loved me _ , she thought viciously, trying to force him to look at her.   _ Are your feelings so cheap? _

She’d still loved Auron after he’d revealed his true nature at the end of Yuna’s Pilgrimage. Perhaps, it had even made her love him a little more.

But she wasn’t Braska, she realized faintly.  He didn’t have her belief in the future or the possibility of happily-ever-afters.  His version of love was a jagged thing, carved into him by painful experience.  It wasn’t something that could so easily accept  _ this _ .

Keyakku’s voice snapped her attention away from her thoughts.  “ _ I’m not joking.  The dead long to be a part of the living.  When they stay here too long, they corrupt the world and everything they come into contact with.  You don’t have a clue about what you are or how you even got here! _ ”  Her brother looked down, refusing to meet her angry stare.  “ _ What am I supposed to think?” _

“Kei, you’re being stupid.”  She scanned the room desperately.  Her eyes landed on Auron, and she bit down on her tongue.

He was staring at her, head on, doing little to hide his shock.  A slow glimmer of understanding was crossing his features; he was piecing together a rough idea of Keyakku’s accusation from Braska’s response.  “Rikku, you’re not…?”

“I – I’m not! – ” she began, before the softly insidious part of her asked,  _ Are you sure? _

She froze, feeling like she’d been doused in cold water.  She  _ didn’t _ know how she’d gotten to the past, not  _ really _ .

The implication hurt more than Braska’s sudden inexorable sadness or Auron’s uncertain denial; Keyakku had planted the seed of doubt in her mind, too.  She couldn’t answer Auron’s blind faith in her, not when she couldn’t even be sure of the truth herself.

“ _ Just give it up, Rikku, _ ” Keyakku said quietly.  There was guilt in what little she could see of his face, but it was mostly overshadowed by resolve.  So  _ this _ why everyone had said he was destined to become an even greater leader than Cid – he’d never been as soft as their father, always the smart one who was willing to think with his head, rather than his heart.

It wasn’t that Keyakku didn’t believe her or didn’t love her, was it?  He just believed a future free of Sin was more important than whatever  _ anyone _ in their tiny room felt.

…Could she blame him?

Braska was beginning to look sick.  He finally managed to look at her, though his expression was guarded.  “All this time,  _ that’s _ what I sensed…?   _ That’s _ why you could see the Fayth too?”

“You don’t believe him, do you?” she asked Braska in a small voice.

His expression crumpled and he looked away.

“ _ It’s better this way _ ,  _ Rie-Rie. _ ”

“Don’t call me that,” she told Keyakku, her anger draining away into shame.  Was this the truth of it?  She, Rikku, an Unsent this whole time, only too selfish – too determined to chase her own adventure – to accept it?

“Auron,” Braska said in a leaden voice, reaching for his staff.  “Take Rikku to the deck.”

“Braska?”  His gaze darted between all of them.

Braska stood, expression reminiscent of the one he’d had in Baaj when he’d desperately pumped magic into her failing body.  He looked like she was dying again, except this time, he couldn’t save her.  “Don’t play ignorant, Auron.  Take her above and say your farewells.”

Jecht was standing now too, though he just looked confused.  “Hold up!   _ I _ don’t understand.  What are you guys plannin’ on doing topside?  What  _ farewells _ ?”

Braska tilted his head towards Jecht, unable to meet her eyes.  “I am to perform the Sending.  It is the duty of all summoners to provide guidance to the dead, to allow them to rest in peace.”

“Why isn’t anyone listening?  I’m not dead,” she repeated, twitching at the way Auron recoiled. “I’m  _ not _ !”

It was even worse, now that it was out in the open, confirmed so plainly before them all.   Auron went stock-still, all emotion bleeding from his face; his complete lack of response was louder than his worst death-glare.

Even Jecht froze, staring at her in consternation as he processed her words.  “Blondie?”

The silence settled around them, dense and uncomfortable.  The adrenaline pumping through her veins began to fade, and she wondered with a brief flare of resentment how everything could have fallen apart so quickly, with just a few simple words from Keyakku’s mouth.

The irony of the situation didn’t escape her.  Her decision to remain silent had all but sentenced him to death; now, with his decision to speak out, he may have done the same to her.

All at once, she felt hollow and burnt out, unable to muster the energy to be indignant at her brother, because he was only trying to  _ save the damn world _ .

Even if she could understand Braska’s reaction, his stern rejection stung her, too – apparently his love  _ did _ know some bounds.  Although it wasn’t really surprising, considering how Yuna had thrown herself off of a tower just to avoid Seymour.   _ Like father, like daughter till the end, huh _ , she thought with bitter amusement.

But it was  _ Auron’s _ reticence that stabbed the thousand knives into her heart.  Was it silly to hope that he’d transform into her knight in shining armor even now?  Probably wishful thinking; the princess he’d tried to rescue had turned into a frog in his arms, after all.  An  _ undead _ one.  

She choked back a maniacal laugh and turned towards Jecht, who was still waiting for her acknowledgement.  “What?” she asked, feeling tired.  

“Dead, not dead.  Whatever.”  She focused her attention on him.  “Do you wanna go along with this?  Or, are we bustin’ outta here the hard way?” he continued, reaching for his sword.

Some of her paralysing despair cleared at his words.  It warmed her somewhat to see that at least  _ one _ of her companions didn’t really care about her living status.  It was the clueless friend who wasn’t entirely human, but still.  It was  _ Jecht _ .  

“Thanks for being in my corner, Jecht, but don’t pull out your can of whoop-ass just yet,” she told him more lightly than she felt.  “I guess… no matter what I  _ want _ , it’s better to see if Kei’s right.”  

Auron inhaled sharply.  

She thought of the Farplane, of the flowers there, and of a brief, cloudy memory.   _ Not yet?  Or is it time now?  I don’t even know anymore, Auron. _

Shaking herself, she pasted a bright smile on her face.  “But you can hold on to this, just in case.”  Reaching for her belt, Rikku pulled off the Songstress sphere and tossed it at Jecht.  “If he  _ is  _ right, take care of Lenne for me.  A Sending can’t be good for her.”

He caught it deftly.  “Rikku.  You sure ‘bout this?  Lenne made her own choice, y’know, and it looks like she’s doin’ just fine.  Maybe it don’t have to be this way for you, either.”  He gave her a small, conspiratorial grin.  “Make your own fate, right?”

She couldn’t quite bring herself to return his smile, especially not with Auron’s gaze burning a hole through her.  “No… I think I owe it to everyone to find out.  No matter what the cost.”

“Fine,” Jecht said with a shrug, pocketing the sphere.  “That’s your call.”  Then he glared at Keyakku.  “ ‘ey, you!  That was a dick move, man.  I’m gonna kick your ass when we’re done here.”  He transferred his baleful stare to Auron.  “You too.  She’s  _ your girl _ .”

“Stop it,” she said sharply, putting a hand on Jecht’s arm.  To his credit, he didn’t flinch away.  “Firstly, I’m not  _ his _ .  I’m my own.  And secondly,  _ being undead _ is a bridge too far for some people.”  Auron  _ did _ flinch at that.  “Not that you would know,” she told Jecht, covering her hurt as she withdrew her touch.  “Seeing as you have no taste and all.”

“Rikku?” Auron said, studying her.

A part of her unclenched in relief; at least he could still talk  _ to _ her, rather than  _ at _ her.   _ I guess Jecht’s disapproval was a pretty powerful motivator. _  “Yeah?” she said quietly.

“I… am sorry,” he murmured, his expression pained.  “You are the one who has always believed there was a way for both of us to find happiness.  I was ever the cynic.”  He met her gaze.  “But, if this is true, we can’t run away from it.”  

She could see him struggling, trying to reconcile the idea of her life with  _ death. _  He might be able to unbend enough to learn to love an Al Bhed – and even accept the use of machina – but embracing the Unsent was a challenge  _ this _ Auron couldn’t yet conquer.  

She was also hyper aware of Keyakku’s eyes on them.   _ I won’t give Keyakku the satisfaction of seeing Auron hurting like this. _  Grabbing Auron’s arm, she hit the wall panel and shoved him outside.  “Give us some time.”

“ _ Rikku, _ ” Keyakku said with a note of warning, standing up.   _ “Don’t try to escape.  You know this is the right thing to do. _ ”

“ _ No!  This is your fault!  You don’t get to speak about what’s  _ **_right_ ** _! _ ” she hissed, some of her anger returning.  “ _ Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking for. _ ”

Braska didn’t answer, his face deathly still.  She shivered.  He’d shut himself off from her; whether it was to hide his own feelings or because he was faithful to the core tenants of his duty as a summoner, she couldn’t tell.  Clearly, Auron wasn’t the only one shaken by Keyakku’s request.  

Peeling her eyes away from Braska, she looked at Jecht.  “Buy me five minutes?” she pleaded.  “I won’t run.  Promise.”

Jecht nodded, already moving to plant himself in the doorway.  He crossed his arms and smiled toothily at her brother just as the door shut.  

Hopefully, it would be enough.

She faced her too-silent companion.  “Auron?” she asked.  “Say something.”

An inarticulate noise of frustration burst from his lips.  It was fairly dramatic for someone whose nonverbal emotional range typically consisted of varying octaves of ‘Hnn.’  

She gave him a fond, but melancholy smile.

“What in Spira do you find amusing about any of this?”

“I was just thinking that even now, you haven’t changed.  I kinda love that about you.”  She felt a stab of regret for her words when Auron’s expression clouded, his mouth twisting downwards in a grimace.

“Is it even true?”  His voice was quiet and laced with pain.  “This goes well beyond rejecting Yevon, you know that.  The dead don’t belong among the living.  Even that Al Bhed boy understands.”  Then, hesitant – more hesitant than she’d ever seen him be before – he reached out and pushed her ever-unruly hair away from her face.  “I can’t deny you anything.  But, if you have any mercy,  _ please _ .  Don’t ask me to defend you from this judgement.”

Rikku grabbed his hand.  “I don’t know if it’s true or not.  There’s a lot of things about myself I can’t explain.  I don’t even know if I’m supposed to  _ be here _ ,” she admitted.  “But I’m pretty sure I’m not  _ dead _ .”

Auron’s hand clutched hers, and his eyes were searching.  “Are you certain?”

“Nope.  But I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

He bit out an oath.  “ _ You _ never change either.  I swear, you’ll drive me to my grave with your inappropriate sense of humor.”  

“Not apologizing.  If the only thing I can do about it is laugh or cry, I’m gonna laugh.”

He pulled her into a tight hug, tremors running through his body.  “I could have continued in blissful ignorance,” he said, voice strained.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”  She felt Auron chuckle through his tight grip on her.  “Let’s get this over with, huh?  You can help Jecht beat up Keyakku afterwards.”

He clutched her for a moment longer, then pulled back, composing himself.  “Don’t disappear,” he ordered, as if his words could make a difference.  She gave him a shaky nod, and he pressed the panel for the door.  “We’re ready.”

The short walk back to the deck was excruciating.  No one said anything, and Rikku felt the sweat dripping down the back of her neck.   **_Am_ ** _ I dead?  Will I return to the future if Braska Sends me?  Shouldn’t that be what I want? _  The last thought made her pause.

_ That was what I was working for all this time, wasn’t it?  To find a way to go back home before I messed things up.  I wanted what Keyakku wants. _

She refused to look at her brother.   _ No.  If that’s what I was like before, then I’m glad I’ve changed.  I don’t want to be a person who’d sacrifice the ones they love for some greater cause.  How would I be any different from the Church, then?  Our happiness counts, it  _ **_has_ ** _ to. _

_ No, _ she thought more firmly, directing her gaze instead towards Auron, who was at her side.  _  I want to be with Auron.  I want to live in Besaid and have a future with him, teaching our bratty children how to break the Auroch’s losing streak and complaining about the bad food there. _ _ I want to know the truth.  It’s better this way. _

The hatch slid open and she froze.  Scores of demoralized crusaders were sitting on the deck, many having shed their armor under the sweltering sunlight.  Several were nursing obvious injuries; even the ones who didn’t were gazing dully out to sea, still reeling from their utter defeat.

_ But, they also deserve to have a future in a world without Sin. _

Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the light.

Keyakku passed her, murmuring low words to his guards.  Then he beckoned Rikku and the others to follow, leading them towards the ruptured stern of the catamaran.  With a few more quiet commands, the remaining Al Bhed guards vacated the area.  

_ At least he’s giving us some privacy _ .  Stepping towards the very edge of the boat, she remembered Auron’s departure from the Fahrenheit.   _ Don’t look back, _ she told herself, keeping her eyes on the ocean.  

Fear threatened to overwhelm her; she thought instead of Tidus, leaping fearlessly towards his fate.   _ He managed to surface to a life in Besaid, _ she reminded herself.  “Well?  What are you waiting for?” she asked when the silence drew out.

“I’m sorry,” Braska murmured, and the raw pain in his voice  _ almost _ made her turn around.  She heard the whisper of his robes as he began to dance.

Rikku kept her eyes open, watching the reflections of sunlight on the water.   _ If I’m going back this way, I’m not doing it with my eyes shut _ , she promised.  It was a pretty hard resolution to keep; the sunlight was bright, and not blinking was beginning to make her eyes sting and water.  Moments ticked by, and she grew restless.  To top it all off, her forehead was starting to itch, but she didn’t dare move her hand; she didn’t want to see her own body dissolving like one of the fiends she had so often fought.

_ Is it time for my dream to finally end? _

The tension made her head buzz in a cacophony of fear, worry, and confusion.  The sun blinded her eyes.  Shifting waters blurred into a vision of pyreflies snaking through ethereally glowing flowers.

_ I won’t regret my time here _ , she promised herself abruptly.   _ I won’t taint my memories like that.   _

But the thought of what she was leaving behind  _ – _ and what she might have already changed  _ – _ threatened her resolve.  Would Tidus even understand her choice, sentencing his father to become Sin?  What of Yuna, who had never wavered in her love for her own father?  Braska would die unnecessarily, and the spiral of death would begin anew.  Would Yuna and Tidus’ future together survive the changes she’d already wrought?

And what of Auron?   _ Will Auron – my Auron – understand why I had to do this? _  A shiver ran down her spine.  Would  _ she _ become the reason he grew into the bitter, reticent man of the future?  

She couldn’t hear anything through the dull roar in her ears – or was it the screaming of pyreflies?  She felt distant.  Disconnected from her own body.  Almost as if she was floating away.  

_ This what a Sending feels like, huh. _

Jecht’s loud voice cut through the white noise.  “So… that’s it, right?  She ain’t dead?”

Braska… had finished dancing?  She was still alive?  

The Farplane faded from Rikku’s memory with a snap, leaving her with nothing more than a dull headache from staring at the sea for too long.  Her legs abruptly folded and she pitched forward, unable to keep herself upright.  Her forehead hit the deck with a thump – which conveniently also took care of the itch – and she slid her eyes shut.   _ I’m still here.  I’m not dead.  Keyakku was wrong. _

She heard a loud crack, followed by a grunt of pain.  Turning her head sideways, she spotted Keyakku sprawled across the ground.  Jecht was standing over him, rubbing his knuckles.  

“Thanks,” she croaked out.

“By the way.  My name’s Jecht, Asshole.”  Jecht stared down his nose at her brother.  “I’d hit you again, but I gotta leave somethin’ for Auron and Braska,” he growled.  “Mess with our heads one more time an’ I’ll be happy to reintroduce myself, though.”  He looked over at Auron.  “Your turn.”

Auron chose to forgo Jecht’s offer in favor of kneeling by Rikku’s side, helping her sit up.  “Are you all right?” he asked, tracing his fingers over the new welt on her forehead.  He dropped his hand, leaving it on her thigh.

Rikku considered the question.  “No.  No, I’m not  _ all right _ .  I’m  _ really, really mad! _ ”  The bottom of Braska’s robes came into view.  He dropped to one knee beside her.  “Thanks, I guess?  And sorry… I really put you in a rough spot, huh?  I’m trying not to make it a habit.”

Braska stared at her; there was more color in his face, but he still looked tense and unhappy.  “I should be the one apologizing.  That I didn’t believe you – ”  He shook his head.  “But, we have more pressing matters at hand.  Who are you, that my nephew believed you to be an Unsent?” he asked.

_ Right. _  Keyakku, the cause of this whole mess, had still gotten off with nothing more than a punch.  Rikku ignored Braska and zeroed in on her brother instead, who was sitting up and rubbing his jaw.  “ _ Are you satisfied? _ ” she growled.

“ _ You still can’t stay here _ .”  Keyakku returned her scowl.  “ _ I’m glad I was wrong, but you’re just too dangerous on the loose.  You can’t keep travelling with those three. _ ”

“ _ I’m not going to Home with you! _ ” she shouted, balling her hands into fists.  Auron startled, fingers spasming against her leg.  “ _ You can’t make me! _ ”

“ _ I’m still older than you, Rikku, and you will do what I say! _ ” Keyakku yelled back.  “ _ I’m taking you back to Father, and  _ **_he’ll_ ** _ decide what to do with you! _ ”

“ _ Silence! _ ”  Braska sat back on his heels, his tone commanding.  “ _ Kei.  Do you even realize how worried you made us just now?  Not to mention that you are only seventeen, and Rikku is your aunt. You are not making any sense, and are also being very disrespectful!” _

“ _ My  _ **_what_ ** _? _ ” Keyakku asked, flabbergasted.  “ _ Rikku, what exactly did you tell these guys? _ ”

“ _ What do you mean? _ ” Braska asked, his anger ebbing away to confusion.

“ _Rikku_ _is not my aunt!_ ”  Keyakku rubbed his forehead and muttered, _“I can’t even wrap my brain around that one.”_

Braska regarded  _ her _ appraisingly.  “Who  _ are _ you?”

_ Stupid! _  Rikku cursed herself.   _ You knew Braska was fluent! _  She opened her mouth, searching for an answer, even as Braska trapped her under his stare.  

“ _ She’s my little sister, _ ” Keyakku said, standing up and taking the choice out of her hands.  “ _ And she doesn’t belong here.  I don’t know how she did it, but she fell out of her time and landed in ours. _ ”

“ _ Keyakku!  I’m gonna weld your mouth shut, I swear! _ ”

Braska squinted and tilted his head.  She wilted under his scrutiny.  

“ _I thought you looked like_ _Raenn.  But... you also look like_ _Cid._ ”  Then his eyes went wide.  “ _Wait.  I have a niece, Kei?_ ”

“ _ And another nephew, _ ” Keyakku added.  “ _ Rikku’s the youngest, not that you can tell.  Mom died a little while after Rikku was born.  Which was five years ago. _ ”

Keyakku’s explanation finally seemed to  _ reach _ Braska.  He sat back in shock; his staff clattered out of his hands.  “Then you are…” he said.

Rikku attempted a grin and rubbed the back of her head.  “Fast-growing?”

Braska looked like he might faint.  

_ Whoops _ .

Auron tugged her attention back to him; she could see his temper teetering on the brink of  _ ‘finish what Sin started and sink the rest of the ship’ _ as he tried to follow their conversation.  “Someone better explain to me what this farce is all about, or people are going to get hurt.”  He looked at Keyakku.  “Starting with him.”

“Ah-ha!” Jecht exclaimed.  “Hold yer chocobos, Auron, I think I got it!”  

Everyone stared.  Jecht’s head was buried in the Al Bhed primer Keyakku had given him earlier.

“Meay-de-demah kueay-ku-deahn,” he sounded out.  “That means  _ little sister _ , right?”  He snapped the magazine closed and beamed, proud.  “Blondie here is Asshole’s little sister, I guess?”  Then he looked at Rikku again with a frown.  “Don’t that make Braska your – ”

“Stop,” Braska said, paling.  “For the love of Yevon, don’t say it.”

“Whoa.  That’s pretty damn trippy, Rie-Rie,” Jecht continued.  “So, like, did you eat some experimental Al Bhed growth hormones, or somethin’ ?”

Braska groaned.  “Please tell me that you’re an adult, at least.”

“Yes, I time traveled, okay?” Rikku hissed, narrowing her eyes into a  _ Rikku Look Mark  _ **_Die, Jecht._ **

Jecht only seemed enthused by her reply.  “Whoa!  Is there a copy of you here right now?  How old is she?  Can you even meet yourself like that?”

“Jecht!  Shut up!”  Auron yelled, then frowned at Rikku.  “You… are from the future?”  He weathered her nod slightly better than Braska had, which is to say he wasn’t hyperventilating.   _ Much. _  She supposed being a time traveler paled in comparison to being an  _ Unsent _ , but he still didn’t look  _ happy _ to hear of her downgraded paranormal status.  

“We need to talk inside,” he managed.

And… just like that, the proverbial Coeurl was out of the bag.

She looked at them. Jecht was unphased, and no wonder, considering this was all icing on his own personal cake of secrets.  Braska, likely still trying to confront the idea that he’d fallen in love with his niece, couldn’t even meet her eyes,  _ again _ .  And Auron… well, Auron just looked pissed off.   _ Good _ , she thought vindictively.   _ I’ll tell him where Keyakku sleeps. _

She took a look at her companions, and slumped forward, exhausted.   _ I don’t think I’ve ever kept a secret that long in my life.  _  Relief flooded her; she’d withstood Sin, Keyakku’s judgement, and a Sending.  All that was left was to survive the rest of Braska’s Pilgrimage with the gang.   _ No problem, right? _

She chanced a glance at Auron, whose expression was thunderous.

_ … Riiight. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can pretty safely assume that the massive amount of italics in this chapter represents dialogue in Al Bhed. Other translations:
> 
> Meay-de-demah kueay-ku-deahn (phonetic) = “Meddma cecdan” = “Little sister”
> 
> The title comes from a common rearrangement of a quote by Aldous Huxley:  
> “Blood, as all men know, than water’s thicker / But water’s wider, thank the Lord, than blood.”
> 
> The shortened modern version: “Blood is thicker, but water runs deeper.”


	50. Family Ties

The return to their designated cabin was just as silent and tense as their departure.

Braska, Jecht, and Auron filed in, but Keyakku grabbed Rikku's arm before she could follow. " _Don't go back with them,_ " he said in a quiet undertone. " _Think of what you're risking._ "

Auron stepped back out of the room, expression flat. "Release her or I'll break your arm."

Keyakku frowned. " _This_ is the company you're keeping?" he asked, voice heavy with disapproval. "What would Pops say?"

"That you're a backstabbing traitor," she replied, still smarting from his betrayal. She yanked her arm away. "You'd fit right in with Yevon's clergy. They always think they're doing the right thing too."

"Fine," Keyakku said, retreating with ill grace. "I can't stop you from making a mistake. But remember, it's _our_ lives you're playing with too, not just your own." He glared at Auron. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from my sister. She could end up destroying _everything_."

"Unlike you?" Auron replied. "Just look how well you've handled this situation so far. Will you attempt to convince Braska to Send _me_ next?"

"That was – " Keyakku paused. "You know what? Never mind. Do what you want. _I_ need to start repairs on the ship." His cheek rippled; she couldn't be sure if it was his nervous tic or just the sheer force of his grinding teeth. Reluctantly, he turned to face her, his expression warring between anger and embarrassment. "Rikku…" His cheek twitched again, then he let out an explosive sigh. "Look, if you're as good as you say, we could use your help when you're done here."

She rolled her eyes. "Please! I know this ship better than you. I'll help later." She gestured at the open doorway. "In case you missed it, I have to clean up _this_ mess, first!"

"You really shouldn't – "

"Buh-bye," Rikku answered, grabbing Auron and stepping inside. She stuck out her tongue, then closed the door in Keyakku's face.

"This one's mine," Jecht said, hefting himself onto his bed, then cursing as his head hit the low ceiling. "Ain't they got somethin' better on this ship, Blondie? This place makes the Winno look like a luxury cruise."

"This _is_ the luxury cabin," she told him, pointedly not looking at Braska or Auron. Jecht, ever-loyal, go-with-the-flow _Jecht_ was the safest option for her attention right now. "The Love Boat is a deep-sea salvager. We use it for missions, not comfort. Most of the crew sleeps wherever they want to on bedrolls."

Jecht flipped through his primer while she spoke. He scratched his head. "So, _The Love Boat?_ Why the dumb name?"

Braska seated himself on the lower bed across from Jecht, removing his helmet and placing it by his side. "This is Cid's boat," he said. "Cid was always a great admirer of the concept of love. So much so that he tattooed it across his head as a declaration of intent."

 _So he's finally talking again?_ She spared Braska a glance and decided to try for normalcy. _You can do it, Rikku! He's just your uncle, that's all!_

It didn't help.

Taking a deep breath, she pasted on a grin and put a hand on her hip. "Yeah, we all thought his name for this boat was stupid, too. Father doesn't always think things through when he gets excited."

Braska stared at her – maybe she _shouldn't_ have entered into a fake face contest with the mask master – before dropping his head into his hands and groaning.

She winced. _Okay, maybe he's not ready to work past that whole 'Uncle' thing just yet._

Auron remained standing; he'd made no move to reclaim his hand after she'd grabbed him. His reticence may have been prompted by shock – it hadn't been an easy afternoon for anyone, really – but his touch was still firm and reassuring.

"So, I guess I owe you guys an explanation…" she began.

"Nope," Jecht called out, turning a page in the primer. He shifted, then yelped as his knee banged against the ceiling. "Well, unless it's why this room was made for midgets. How can the ship be so damn big but this place so small? Are all Al Bhed tiny people or somethin'?"

"Maybe your head's just too big," she said flatly, mouth running on autopilot.

Auron spoke up. "Why aren't _you_ more surprised, Jecht? Is it because you are also a time traveler?"

"Huh. So, ya finally believe me? _Nice._ " Jecht snorted. "It's somethin' like that. 'Sides, I already knew."

Braska did look up at that. "What?"

"We talked a little 'bout it. Ya know, while you and the Stiff were off takin' bets on who had more of the crazy, way back at the start of this Pilgrimage."

Auron shifted beside her. "Your private conversation at the Mi'ihen Highroad?"

Jecht scratched his nose. "Even before that, man. You two slowpokes just can't keep up, can ya?" He glanced over the edge of his primer towards Braska. "But she didn't tell me you were her uncle, no. How ya takin' that one, B?"

Braska dropped his head back into his hands. "Not very well," he answered, voice muffled.

"Technically, we're not blood related," Rikku pointed out. Braska hunched further and groaned again. "Okay, not helping. Got it."

"Hnn," Auron said, releasing her to remove his sword. He leaned it against the wall and rolled his shoulders, relaxing. "For once, Jecht is right. All of this can wait. None of us are in any shape to deal with this news after battling Sin."

She wasn't the only one startled by Auron's declaration. " _You're_ slacking off? Aren't you the one who's always going on about keeping our noses to the grindstone?" She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Wait. Who are you, and what did you do with _Responsible Auron_? You haven't snapped, have you?"

Auron's annoyed look answered her well enough.

She raised her hands in defense. "Just figured you, of all people, would want answers – "

He pulled her into a tight embrace; she squeaked. "All that matters right now is that you are not _dead_ ," he said, "although you seem determined to shorten _my_ lifespan."

Something in his voice stopped her from making any more jokes. She relaxed in his grip, trying to reassure him with her presence. It was just as he'd predicted; she'd introduced him to the weaknesses of his heart. He was admitting it, now, holding her in his arms without a care for logic, reason, or even Jecht's pointed quips about public displays.

Auron released her, his lips quirking into a faint smile. His face was still lined with tension and exhaustion, but he seemed more settled than earlier. "I can't assure you I won't _snap_ and stab your brother later, but we should rest first."

"You guys do that," she said. "I've gotta help the others fix this hunk of junk. Who knows if Sin will come back for seconds or not? Besides, this was _my_ ship, too. I can't let my baby suffer!" She patted the wall of the cabin.

"Wait a sec!" Jecht called out, sitting up. "You ain't goin' nowhere before – " Whatever he'd been about to say cut off as his head smacked into the ceiling. "Augh!" he yelled, collapsing backwards.

Gulping, Rikku turned to face him. _Guess it was a little too easy, huh?_ "Before what?"

"Damn midget people," he muttered under his breath while fishing through his pockets. Finding what he was looking for, he tossed a small object towards her.

Catching it reflexively, Rikku looked at the sphere he'd thrown. It winked at her in the light, and a brief feeling of warmth suffused her palm. _Lenne._ She smiled.

"Before you take _her_ back," Jecht grumbled irately, still nursing his bruised forehead. "I knew I wouldn't need that! Don't abandon us so easy next time, Blondie. We're buddies, right?"

She took more care than usual to slot the Songstress sphere back into her belt, fiddling with it until she was sure she'd blinked away the excess moisture gathering in her eyes. "Yeah," she said, looking up with a grateful smile.

Auron gripped her chin in one hand, gently turning her to face him. "Come back to us when you're finished. You're still a Guardian."

"I promise. I'm finishing this Pilgrimage with all of you. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not." She smiled, and Auron released her with a satisfied nod.

Braska cleared his throat as she made her way to the door, and she glanced over her shoulder. He was staring at her, frowning. After a moment, he seemed to come to a decision, and his expression cleared. "Despite everything that has happened…" He did seem to choke for a moment, but recovered gracefully enough, "Auron is right. Do not let Kei order your life here." He smiled weakly. "And – you will always be welcome among _us_ , despite what he may say."

Some of Rikku's confidence returned. "Thanks."

" 'Sides. Team _JAB_ is a crap name and you know it," Jecht added, returning to his reading. "Don't ruin the magic, Blondie. I worked hard to come up with that one."

She smirked. "Now who could resist an argument like that?" Her smile softened. "I'll be back as fast as I can, I promise." Pecking Auron's cheek, she waved and skipped out of the room.

Once the door was shut behind her, she stopped and took a deep breath. _That… went better than I expected. I didn't think they'd let me off the hook just like that_. They probably wouldn't, come to think of it, but she appreciated the space all three men were clearly giving her at the moment. It seemed Braska's Pilgrimage had changed _everyone_ , after all. _One door closed, another opened, they say. I guess I trust them more than my own brother_. A sense of bittersweet satisfaction filled her. _And somehow, they trust_ _ **me**_ _now, too._

" _Hey! You there!_ " One of the Al Bhed technicians called out; it was the woman who had manned the laser during the battle. " _Keyakku_ _said you'd be helping us with the repairs. You're the one they call_ _Rikkma_ , _right?_ "

" _That's me,_ " Rikku said with a wan smile, noting the return of her fake name. " _Yeah, I can help out a little. You guys don't mind?"_

The woman shrugged, her eyes hidden behind her thick goggles. " _No idea why you're keeping company with a summoner. Especially_ _ **that**_ _one. But, Keyakku said you're okay, and his word's good enough for me. All of us, really._ "

Rikku blinked, surprised, before sour realization set in. _He only wants your help,_ the small, still-wounded part of her mind snarled. _Just wait until my ship's fixed, I bet he'll try something again._

Not that it mattered; _The Love Boat_ was just as much her own as it was his, and she was going to get it back in action no matter what her brother – or anyone else for that matter – thought of her. Wiping her expression clean, she smiled pleasantly at the other woman.

" _Where do you need me the most?_ " she asked.

" _Everywhere,_ " the tech replied with a groan. " _Name's_ _Ashe, by the way. Nice meeting you. Now, if you've still got access to whatever miracle you pulled on our gun, we could use it outside. Both of the rudders are completely busted and what's left of the wave fins are falling apart, too._ "

Rikku grinned and pulled on her goggles, adjusting them. " _Now you're speaking my language,_ " she said. " _Let's get to it!_ "

**.x.x.x.**

Repairs were not quite as quick or simple as Rikku wished.

Sin's attack had left _The Love Boat_ adrift in the middle of the ocean, powerless and barely floating. By the end of the first day, they'd managed to patch up the most critical leaks on the catamaran, but were still dead in the water. Keyakku was hesitant to put his crew on rotating repair shifts since a good portion of his manpower was spent guarding their unexpected passengers – the remaining crusaders.

At the start of the second day, she convinced her brother to let Auron handle the crusaders, allowing the Al Bhed to devote their full attention to the ship's restoration.

By the _end_ of the second day, Auron convinced the crusaders to pitch in and help with the repair job.

But, even with all hands literally being on deck, it was a slow and painstaking process; while the young, idealistic crusaders were more open-minded about machina than most of the faithful, they were still, ultimately, a military arm of Yevon's Church. Auron's own easy acceptance of their circumstances made as much of a distinct impression on the group as the open hostility he and Keyakku exchanged.

Jecht, on the other hand, was more a case of willing but not able. Being a capable swimmer, he _tried_ to assist with repairs on the ship's hull, but once he attempted to fix one of the boat's wave power generators by punching it until it lit up, he was dishonorably discharged from his duties.

He'd looked so pleased to be helping, too.

Since then, he'd spent his time studying his primer and making halting conversation with the Al Bhed.

And then there was Braska, who worked tirelessly to heal the wounded and offer counsel – where he could – for the crusaders. Unfortunately, the infamous summoner who'd snatched away their leader's sister was something of an oddity among the Al Bhed; it was only thanks to Keyakku's order that the crew weren't actively heckling Braska. It was still clear, however, that not _everyone_ shared Keyakku's willingness to forgive and forget.

After the third day of loaded glances and quiet whispers, Rikku decided she'd seen enough of Braska politely loitering while trying to ignore the uncomfortable scrutiny. It was simple to catch him alone; Keyakku took a special delight in assigning her duties wherever she was least likely to be able to spend any time near Auron.

"Hey," she called out to Braska as she passed him. "You're with me today."

Braska started and unclasped his hands. He turned away from the edge of the boat, where he'd been giving his best impression of turning into a statue. "Rikkma? Has someone been injured?"

"Nope," she said, unwinding her bandana as she led him back to their small cabin. Stopping by the door, she unlatched her garment grid and handed it to him, along with the strip of cloth. She glanced around the hallway, then lowered her voice. "Put that on inside and change into the Alchemist dressphere. We're going to the engine room today, and I don't want you catching on fire or losing any fingers. Plus, I don't think they'll recognize you without your helmet if you put some goggles on and hide your hair. And don't say anything to the crew," she added with another nervous look over her shoulder. "We'll be _swarmed_ if anyone figures out that belt's a piece of machina and not my own special magic!"

Braska looked down at the belt in surprise. "Thank you for your consideration, but… what do you need _me_ there for?"

"Oh, trust me," she smirked, pushing him into the room. "Now hurry up before someone sees you!"

A minute later, they were both walking purposefully down the hall. Braska kept his goggles up and his head down, and Rikku made sure to do all the talking as they wove between the technicians scrambling around the inside of the ship.

" _Rikkma! You're finally here,_ " Maqui greeted her when she approached the doors to the engine room. He paused to converse with another Al Bhed before nodding and turning back to her. " _Sorry_ ," he said. " _I know_ _Ashe's_ _been keeping you busy outside, but we've been trying to get the power back online since yesterday without any luck. Maybe you could give it a shot?_ "

Rikku crossed her hands behind her back and swayed, surreptitiously directing Braska into the power room. She aimed a thousand-watt smile towards Maqui while Braska slipped inside. " _No problem! Fixing things up is my specialty._ "

" _No kidding,_ " Maqui agreed. " _I've never seen anyone build brand new machina out of the old salvaged stuff. Where'd you learn that anyway?_ "

" _Oh, heh-heh._ " Rikku laughed. She somehow didn't think he'd believe her if she told him the truth: that she'd studied under Gippal, their resident six-year-old troublemaker in Bikanel. " _Self-taught, I guess._ "

" _By the way,_ " Maqui began with a hopeful grin. " _If you aren't doing anything for dinner tonight, would you want to join me in the mess hall_ – "

Rikku cringed and pointed to the engine room, smiling so hard it felt like her face would split. " _Who knows?_ _Keyakku has me running ragged here._ " She was willing to bet he'd put Maqui up to asking for the date, too. " _Maybe next time, huh?_ "

" _All right. No worries! Anyway, I cleared the room out for you like you asked, but just holler if you need some extra hands. Good luck in there."_ He passed over a toolbox. " _Oh, and take these since you don't have one of your own._ " With a friendly nod, he returned to directing his own set of repairs.

Stepping into the engine room, she let the doors shut behind her. Dropping the toolbox, she removed her goggles and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"You're picking up Auron's habits," Braska observed with a note of amusement. "I take it you are as thrilled now as I was when I gained a new admirer in Besaid?"

With an inarticulate sound of frustration, she threw her arms up. "I don't even know if I have a new admirer! What I _do_ know is that I have a stupid, interfering, _mom_ of an older brother."

"Kei does not approve of Auron. They truly haven't been getting along very well, have they?"

She stomped over to the darkened power generator, analyzing it with a critical eye. "I wouldn't know. Keyakku makes sure the only time we get to see each other is right before I'm about to drop from exhaustion." She filed her disgruntlement away; as annoying as Keyakku was being, she couldn't afford to get distracted. _My baby needs me!_ She reached out and placed a comforting hand on her ship. _Don't worry, Mama's gonna rescue you, sweetie._ Tapping her finger on her chin, she studied the machina engine. "Forget about that. I called you here for an actual reason."

"Oh?" Braska said, moving to her side. He looked at the engine, bemused. "If you wanted me for some heavy lifting, this isn't the proper outfit for the task." The smile he gave her was entirely too friendly. Apparently, the Alchemist dressphere was working its Al Bhed magic on Braska's normally-reserved personality.

_Well, at least it's helping him get over this whole family thing, right?_

Ignoring his grin, Rikku rolled her eyes. "If I wanted heavy lifting, I'd've called Jecht. What we need here is finesse, and _you_ have more of that than I do." She pointed at the machina. "I've got to get in there and fix up the wiring. Once that's done, the whole thing's gonna need a jump. That's where you come in."

Braska looked intrigued. "A _jump_?" he asked. "You require my assistance to _jump_ on that machina? While I admit I am unfamiliar with Al Bhed technology, it strikes me as an odd request." He eyed her. "I know you are only trying to ease my stay here, but wouldn't this _still_ be Jecht's field of expertise?"

"As if I'd let Jecht near here after what he did to the _outer_ generator! I meant I need you to fry it with a Thundaga spell, one aimed with precision _and_ power. More power than I can produce, actually. You'll have to hit it in two places that I'll show you later, or we might blow the whole thing."

"I see," Braska said. "Then, thank you for allowing me to assist you. I was beginning to feel rather useless up there."

She picked up the toolbox and set it down near the engine. "Well, you're gonna have to spend the next hour or so feeling pretty useless down here instead," she said, tying her hair back. "It'll take me a while to fix this thing. But I'll bet I'm still better company than the touchy guys on deck. Now…" She paused and surveyed the room. "Where is it?"

"Where is what?" Braska shuffled around the small room, looking completely out of his element, despite his costume.

Ignoring him, she continued scouring under the pipes, searching for her prize. "Ah-ha!" She straightened from where she'd bent over, pulling out the wheeled board. "My creeper!"

Braska made a choking sound; when she turned around, his eyes whipped upwards to study the ceiling a little too intently.

"Are you okay? I know it's a little steamy, but I really thought you'd feel better down here." She sighed in disappointment and wiped some sweat from her brow. "I guess you can go back upstairs if you can't take the heat, though."

Braska closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Then he smiled. "No, no. I will be fine, thank you."

She side-eyed him, then shrugged. "Alright, but let me know if you're feeling funny _before_ you collapse. Auron'll tan my hide if I don't take good care of you."

Braska gave her a hard stare. "Rikku. I will be fine as long as you work _quietly_ and _efficiently_ ," he emphasized. "Now please, for the love of Yevon, do not regale me with tales of Auron spanking you right now."

Her face flamed. "That wasn't – I didn't – !" She sputtered, then gave up. "Urg! Maybe you should take that dressphere off after all," she mumbled. "You're acting kinda gross."

"Gladly," Braska agreed with some relief as he deactivated the sphere. And collapsed. "Good grief, it's stifling in here," he gasped, pulling at the neck of his robes. "You weren't joking, were you?"

"We don't _only_ dress like this because it's fun," she said. "Fixing up machina is hot, messy work. We can't wear all that Yevonite stuff – we'd suffocate, not to mention getting all that loose cloth caught up in our machina." She pointed to an engine he was leaning against. "Speaking of, don't sit too close to that while you're wearing those robes."

Braska rested his chin in his palm and reactivated the dressphere.

She watched him transform, jaw hanging. "I thought we agreed you'd put that thing away!"

He shrugged. "It's a risk I'm willing to take. Just because Jecht believes I can heal any bodily injury does not mean I wish to test the theory on myself." His expression turned coy. "Besides, I see no need to fight a losing battle with my sense of virtue in this heat."

" _Right_ ," she drawled, unconvinced by his sudden smirk. "Well, whatever. Just stay out of my way and make yourself comfy. I'll let you know when I need you. Uh. Need your _help_ ," she corrected. "With electrocuting things. Like the machina!" she added as Braska's grin continued to widen. "Fine, if you're gonna be like that, you can just ignore me and entertain yourself – _wait!_ " Rikku slapped her forehead. "You know what, just forget I said… like, _all_ of that."

"Fix your machina before you add any more steam to this room," Braska commanded, leaning back and crossing his arms behind his head. "Do not worry about me, I will be _fine_ here."

 _Huh. I know that expression. He's planning something. Maybe I_ _ **shouldn't**_ _have given him the Alchemist dressphere._ Kicking the creeper into place, she gave Braska one last suspicious look and refocused on the more important task at hand – repairing the engine. Laying back, she rolled herself under the machina and studied the damage, chewing her lip. _Well, poopie. This might be a little harder than I thought._

The next thirty minutes passed with her tinkering and sweating enough that she was pretty sure she was leaving a Rikku-shaped watermark on the creeper. _Wait, something's missing here. Shoot, it's all the way in the bottom of the toolbox. Too far. Ugh, do I really have to move that much? It's so hot…_ "Braska," she called. "Can you hand me the bundle of green wires and the pneumatic grinder with the two millimeter drill bit?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled. "The what?"

She rolled her eyes and held her hand out, waving in the general direction of her toolbox. "The green wires in the toolbox, even you should be able to get that one. And the…hmm. The thing with the blue handle that turns really fast and buzzes when you click it," she elaborated. "It's near the bottom."

"Oh! Wires. Of course, just a moment."

Rikku heard him rummaging around inside the toolbox. Something landed in her hand and she grunted in thanks. Then she held up the wires and frowned, before tossing them back in Braska's general direction. "Hey! I said the green wires! _Green_! These are black. Are you colorblind or something?"

"Ah. Right, green," he sighed.

Another bundle of wires landed in her hands, this time, they were the right color. "Great. Now, the drill?"

"Yes. The drill," he answered, sounding distracted.

Her brow ticked, and she slid a little further out, chancing a look at Braska. His chin was in his palm again, and he was staring at her thighs with a lewd smile on his face. _**That's**_ _how he's entertaining himself?_ She fumed. _Right. This means war._ "Hey!" Braska's eyes snapped up. "Stop staring at my legs and get me that tool!"

"Sorry," he said, though he didn't sound very repentant. "This one, correct?" He held up an orange screwdriver and Rikku narrowed her eyes at him. The process repeated itself for a wrench, a nut driver, and a pair of wire clippers before he landed on the drill she needed.

"Glad to know you're listening," she muttered, pulling herself back under the engine.

"Anytime," he said serenely, and she could almost _feel_ his gaze resettle on the exposed lower half of her body.

"I'm gonna try something," she called out, just to be fair. The absent-minded noise he made in response sealed his fate. Concentrating, Rikku whispered to herself and triangulated the angles of the room in her mind. It _was_ full of delicate equipment, after all…

Braska yelled as the Thunder spell hit him. Moments later, the door slid open and a worried Maqui stuck his head in. " _Is everything all right in here?_ "

" _It's fine_ ," she called out in a sing-song voice. " _Just a little accident. Don't worry, I've got a potion. He'll be okay!_ "

" _Sure_ ," Maqui said dubiously, although he left after another few seconds of silence.

As the door closed, Braska pushed himself up slowly, then healed himself. "I believe that was uncalled for."

She hummed and resumed working on the engine. "I was just helping you focus all that wandering attention."

He kept his silence, and she smirked in satisfaction. Then she lost herself in the work again, putting Braska's proclivities out of her mind. _This is going pretty well! I just need to solder these two bits together, and then if I run the wire down here, I can..._

"Rikku," Braska called out, derailing her train of thought.

"What?" she asked, annoyed.

"I'm very disappointed in you."

Her hands stilled and she frowned. _What is he up to now?_

"You were a very naughty girl just now," he told her, his voice heavy with innuendo. " _Uncle Braska_ may just have to punish you for that. You said you were partial to spankings, yes?"

" _What?_ " Rikku screeched, sitting up so quickly she smashed her forehead into the engine with a loud bang. Stars flashed before her eyes when she dropped back down, whining. "Owwie…"

Braska's loud laughter didn't help any with the pain, either.

The door slid open again. " _Rikkma?_ " Maqui's worried voice reached her. " _It sounded like there was more trouble in here…_ "

" _Oh, we're fine, thank you,_ " she heard Braska say. " _Rikkma_ _just had a small mishap. Do not worry, I also have a potion at hand._ "

" _I, uh… I see._ _Rikkma?_ "

" _Yeah?_ " Rikku answered, blinking away tears of pain.

" _You know, never mind about dinner,_ " Maqui said. " _I just realized I'm, uh, gonna be busy tonight. Tomorrow, too, actually._ "

" _Not a problem. Thanks, Maqui._ " Rikku jiggled a foot at the door and heard it slide closed. "Well, at least something good came out of that," she grumbled. She winced and touched her forehead; there was going to be a goose egg sticking out like a third eye tomorrow. "And here I thought you were all hung up on being related to me."

"I was only jesting," Braska replied, smug.

"So you say now. But you're a sticky, tricky chameleon!" She rolled herself out from under the engine and sat up, indignant. "Get outta that dressphere before I make you, pervert!"

"While you are providing me with some very compelling reasons to object, I suppose I am making you rather uncomfortable, am I not?" His grin died. "Is that the reason that you said you _couldn't_ , while we were together in Baaj? Because we are related?" He paused, disabling the dressphere and sighing as his summoner's robes settled around him. "You responded to my advances, despite knowing whom I was then." He grimaced, some of his previous reserve returning, although to his credit, he at least seemed willing to talk about it now. Looking at her, his expression was a mix of frustration, bitterness, and regret. "Why?"

Some of Rikku's righteous anger fled at his honest assessment. She deflated. "I… I was just trying to get you to stop then, y'know? You weren't thinking straight. You still aren't." She looked down at her hands, scrubbing her fingers together in a futile attempt to dislodge some grease. "I made a mistake. We _both_ made mistakes. I thought we moved past that, though. You don't have to repeat them again."

Braska was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was low. "I don't know my niece, Rikku. I didn't even know _of_ her until a few days ago. I left Bikanel before she was born. All I do know is that I fell in love with a vivacious young woman who reminded me of what it meant to be alive. You _changed_ me, and I can't discard those feelings simply because it would make things more convenient for all of us."

"But aren't you thinking about how weird it is right now, to like me like that? I'm your _niece._ That little girl you never met and me? We're the same person. She's just a lot younger." She winced and rubbed her throbbing forehead; this heart-to-heart with Braska wasn't doing her headache any favors.

"Shall I heal that for you?" he asked.

"Huh? No, wait a minute – !" She shrank back as Braska's hand extended towards her, but he simply placed the tips of his thumb and forefingers against her skin, murmuring. The spell was soothing, easing away the throbbing headache and reducing the pain to a whisper of memory. She let out an involuntary sigh of relief, then stilled as the spell continued to envelop her.

His eyes were closed, fingers still touching her forehead. His power continued to ebb and flow from him in waves. It wasn't the crackling, desperate surges he'd surprised her with in Baaj, but it was still an intimate touch, a gentle caress of magic.

"It's all better now," she said, swallowing.

He sighed, ending the spell. "I know nothing of the little girl you once were," Braska told her. "Right now, I see only what has always been before me: a grown woman who has captured my regard. That has not changed. Or shall you ask me to tell Auron next that he has traded his engagement to my young daughter for one with my even younger niece?"

"That's not – " She fumbled for the right words. "It's not the same," she protested. "You and I… we're _family_!"

"Not by blood," he reminded her. "And apparently not by association, either. You don't protest because of our family relation. No, you protest because you can't bear to accept more than one lover into your heart."

Rikku thought about it. Braska deserved that much consideration from her, at least. "That's not entirely true," she eventually said. "I mean, not hurting Auron is a huge part of it. But…"

She thought of Yuna, and all the time they'd spent together. The other girl wasn't just her cousin, but also her best friend. They'd almost died for each other a dozen times over, and if she ever got back, they would probably do it all over again until they were old and grey. "You're Yunie's dad," she said. "Even if I love _you_ , I love Yuna _more_."

Braska sucked in a breath, surprised. "You know my daughter. You _know_ her." Then he closed his eyes. "Of course… you and I are very similar, I suppose. But _your_ heart is strong enough to make the proper choice." He sat back, his eyes growing distant. "I am relieved that you two found each other and healed this rift which I created." His voice was tinged with a note of resignation. "At least she will have the chance to grow into a fine young woman with you by her side."

"Then why do you sound so sad about it?" she asked.

He shook his head. "If you were once a Guardian, that means that my own Pilgrimage failed. Sin still exists, and I won't be there to witness my daughter becoming the person you know." He looked at her. "So, _that_ is your hidden sorrow and the reason you can humor me. You've never truly known me as your uncle, either. I'm destined to die a meaningless death."

A mix of rage and shame welled up in her throat. "I'm not _humoring_ you! This is hurting me, too!" She looked away, trying to beat back the helplessness that was threatening to engulf her.

_I won't be like Braska. I won't let his fatalism swallow up my life here. Why can't he see that it doesn't have to be like this? We can still change his future!_

_Do I really believe that, though?_ She shuddered, uncertain. _No. I'm Braska's Guardian. What I believe doesn't matter, I have to help him!_

"Your life isn't _meaningless_! It's just... about more than _you_." It was the one lesson her own presence in the past continually taught her, despite her best efforts to find her _own_ future.

It was something Yuna had known all along, right from the beginning.

_Oh, Yunie._

The wave of homesickness that overtook her was as unexpected as it was sudden. She grimaced and curled her body inwards, feeling a coldness descend over her that even the room's stifling heat couldn't keep at bay. "Saving you means destroying Yunie's happiness. I can't _choose!_ "

Braska frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

She fell silent, chewing her lip. _Should I tell him the truth?_

"Rikku?"

"You know, the last time I confided in somebody on this ship, he told you I was undead and tried to get me Sent."

"Ah," he said. "I'm sorry about Kei. It must be a very precious future he wishes to protect."

"You're the reason we have a future at all," she said in a small voice. "You, Auron, and Jecht. The three of you carved out that future for the rest of us with your own sacrifices. Yunie can be happy because what you did _mattered_. You gave us all _hope_."

"I thought your summoner – _no._ " Braska looked at her again, surprised. "You've done this before. All of it. Your Pilgrimage _didn't_ fail, did it?"

Something tickled her cheek. Rikku put a hand up and realized she was crying again, silent tears this time, ones that took her by surprise. "We broke the spiral of death. But, the price was _so, so_ high. Everyone was so happy when the Eternal Calm came."

"The Eternal – ?"

"There wasn't any time to be sad," she continued. Now that it was spilling out, she couldn't stop her words. Holding it all in for so long had taken its toll, and she was _tired_. It was his fault for asking. "We were all too busy rushing forward to grab our shiny new future. Nobody stopped and noticed how many bits and pieces of us had died with Sin."

"Sometimes we are required to make sacrifices for the greater good," he said quietly.

She snorted and scrubbed her face. "Oh, stuff it. I don't subscribe to Yevon's mumbo-jumbo. Spira's been sacrificing summoners to _the greater good_ for a thousand years! It never changed anything."

"But it will," Braska said, growing more certain. "Sometimes, there is no other choice. If my sacrifice is to pave the way for your future, then I gladly accept my fate. I will be strong for the sake of your summoner, and all of Spira." He smiled. "It is a fair trade; _you_ were the strength _I_ once lacked." Gathering a fold of cloth from his sleeve, he _tsked_ and wiped her face; it came away covered in grease. "You have made a mess trying to bury your tears," he noted. "But do not worry. I will do my best to set things to rights."

"Do you know what you're saying?" she said, pushing his hand away.

"Of course."

Rikku grabbed Braska and pulled him into a hug. It ran in the family, she supposed. Yuna had always been her anchor in the turbulent years after Sin's defeat. And now, Braska offered to be hers in the years _before_. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry I can't save you."

Braska held her close. "You already have," he replied. Then he pushed her away and nodded at the engine. "You should finish that. We have a Pilgrimage to continue, after all."

**.x.x.x.**

"Rikku! Where have you been?" Keyakku's voice was filled with frustration and worry as he hurried down the corridor to meet her. "You were supposed to be outside finalizing the repairs on the outer hull!"

Stopping, Rikku eyed her brother. "For your information, I just finished fixing _my_ ship's engines," she grumbled, not in any mood to banter. "You're welcome, by the way." Besides, she guessed Keyakku didn't care one bit what she was repairing on the ship – just as long as she wasn't doing it anywhere near _Auron_.

"It's not _your_ ship – !" He stopped as he noticed Braska standing behind her. "Oh! Uncle Braska. Sorry, I didn't realize you were with her."

Braska glanced at Rikku, then pasted a wide – and most likely fake – smile across his face. "Ah, little Kei! How good it is to see my favorite nephew once again!" He stepped past her, his arms outstretched, using his lengthy robes for maximum effect in the ship's cramped hallway. "You mentioned before that I've another nephew as well, have you not? I am simply _bursting_ with curiosity to hear all about him." His arms closed, and the robes descended around Keyakku like the jaws of a snapping trap.

"Sure Uncle, but now isn't the best time – " Keyakku struggled in Braska's embrace.

"Oh, yes. Time. Something we summoners have so much of," Braska mused. "Well. Perhaps it is not _so_ terrible, to march forward towards my fate knowing nothing of my own family. Knowledge can breed regret and hesitation," he added with a note of pained acceptance.

"What? No, it's fine," Keyakku amended hastily. He looked behind Braska. "Rikku and I would be happy to tell you all about Brother, wouldn't we?"

"You wanted me out on the outer hull yesterday, didn't you?" she countered, crossing her hands behind her head. "Guess I better get to work on that. See you around! And thanks for your help, Uncle Braska!"

"Anything for my favorite niece," Braska replied, tightening his grip around Keyakku's shoulders. "One should always value one's family, don't you think, Kei?"

She skipped down the hall, happy to be freed from Keyakku's scheming for the day.

_Thanks, Braska._

It was nice that he felt comfortable enough around her to have her back again, despite everything that'd happened. That thought, however, caused her to stumble and slow to a walk. _Braska's gonna ride that uncle joke for as long as he can milk it_. _But that's a whole other problem, isn't it? He still doesn't see me as his family._

_Damn it._

Turning the corner, she almost ran head-first into Jecht, whose nose was buried in his Al Bhed primer.

"Oh! Kuoonnoh," Jecht sounded out, stepping back. Then he looked up and grinned. " 'ey, Blondie! Still workin'?"

"Yep. So the first words you've got down pat are an apology? What a surprise," she drawled.

Jecht scowled. " 'ey! This stuff is hard! I just tried to ask a few guys if they had any blitzballs 'round here and we nearly got into a fight!"

Rikku frowned. "What'd you say?"

He flipped through the primer. "Here we go. Ryja oui caah so pmedwpymmc? Drao yna uv aqlabdeuhym cewa yht E ghuf ruf du bmyo fedr dras. E lyh cruf oui so Jecht Shot!"

Blinking, she pieced together the poorly-enunciated words. "You didn't," she said.

"I got it wrong?" Jecht scratched his head. "Maybe that's why they were so mad. What'd I say?"

 _I_ _ **am**_ _picking up Auron's habits._ She rubbed her forehead, feeling her headache return. "You asked if anyone wanted to look at your balls. You then claimed they were huge and offered to show them your _Jecht Shot_."

He paused, then grinned. "Well, they are. Ain't my fault all you Al Bhed are _tiny_."

"Eurgh," she gagged. "Just… keep reading and try not to talk so much," she managed. "At least 'til we're closer to the shore." Shaking her head, she brushed past Jecht to continue towards the deck.

" 'Ey, wait! You're goin' the wrong direction," he told her. "Someone was askin' for ya down that way," he added, pointing down another hallway.

Rikku frowned. "I _know_ there's nothing to fix there. Did Keyakku put you up to this?"

"Your bro? Hah." Jecht smirked. "He ain't got the guts to meet my other fist yet. Naw, this was someone else." He scratched his chin. "I'm guessin' it won't take too long."

"Alright," she groaned, sighing. _What now? I was really hoping to see sunlight… and maybe just a little bit of Auron for once._ She stomped into the dead end, looking around. No one was there. "Ha, ha, Jecht," she growled, pulling open the supply door.

Auron yanked her into the closet and shut the door behind them.

A moment of silent surprise passed before her brain got with the program. "So, hey there," she said, trying to untangle herself from his arms. Her face was smashed against his chestplate and there was a shelf poking into her back.

Auron grunted, adjusting his position until they had a little more room to breathe. "This is ridiculous," he growled after a moment, panting. "Being forced to hide in a janitorial closet like delinquent schoolchildren. Is your _entire family_ like this?"

"Well… yeah," she giggled. "If you'd just stop trying to draw and quarter Keyakku with your eyeballs every time you met, he… would still hate you, actually. Kei knows you were sent to kill my father."

Auron sighed. "He was a smart kid." He shifted his arms. "Pity it didn't last."

"I haven't seen you in two days and we're trapped in a dark closet together. Do you _really_ want to talk about my _brother_ right now?" She poked him in the side.

He twitched. "He said being with you could destroy everything." Auron pushed her leg away from where she was rubbing it against his thigh. "What is going on?"

"We're not necking, that's what's going on," she answered, though her mind raced. She tried to separate Keyakku's warning from the red haze of anger that mashed his words into a jumble in her mind. _Destroy everything?_

Her brother really _was_ the smarter one. She was better with her hands, but his skills lay in leadership. He could analyze events, predicting consequences and reactions to them. Combined with his level head, it made him a fiercely competent politician. Or it _would have_ one day, had he survived the attack on Home.

Sure, he was worried about Sin, but he didn't _know_ her future was certain. He only had her word for it, and her brother had already demonstrated that he didn't really _trust_ her.

"Be serious," Auron scolded. "What did Keyakku mean?"

"I'm thinking," Rikku said, uncomfortably. _If he's not worried about a future he doesn't even know is real being destroyed, then_ – "...I think he meant me." Auron waited, and she frowned. "He told me every little thing I did here had the potential to change the future. So, if I do something really big, the future _will_ change. _My_ future will change."

He tensed. "Braska once told me, even if given the chance, he would not change his past. That he would not be the man he is today without it."

 _Of course_. She winced. Auron didn't get along well with Keyakku because they were similar in that manner; he'd been trained to grasp the larger picture as well. "I think he meant if I change the past, _my_ future will cease to exist. _I'm_ a part of that future. _I'll_ be what gets destroyed." She paused as Auron's arms tightened around her. "But, it's just a theory. Kei always was a fan of two-gil pulp fiction. He might be wrong."

Auron exhaled. "And if he is not?"

She rested her forehead against his chest. "It's still my life. Death is the one guarantee we _all_ have. It's only a question of _how_ and _when_."

His frustration was palpable. " _Death_ is not the same as _ceasing to exist_!"

"Isn't it though? We Al Bhed think so. That's why we try so hard to do everything _now_ , in the _present_. You only get one shot at life, so you might as well make the most of it." She thought of Braska's resolve and took a deep breath. "Dying for love isn't the worst way to go, you know. At least I'm getting something out of the deal."

"Why are you always so selfish?" Auron's voice was pained. "You wormed your way inside of me and now you threaten to slip out again?"

"Love isn't for the weak," she agreed. "Lucky for me you're the toughest guy I know." He said nothing, and she bit her lip. "Are you… still okay with me? Knowing what I am now?"

"What you _are_?" He snorted. "Braska already proved that what you _are_ is human. Whether it's a relief or disappointment, you haven't changed." Leaning down, he sought out her lips; she could feel some of his frustration from the past few days bleeding into the action.

That was a mistake. Just as frustrated, she leaned eagerly into the kiss. It escalated quickly; what was meant to be a simple reassurance turned into a messy tangle of limbs and desire. He pushed against her, hungry, and she pressed back, trying to find the space to fit herself against him.

She broke off suddenly, gasping. "I was going to ask if you were _that_ happy to see me," she wheezed, "but I'm pretty sure that you're not that flexible." Wincing, she reached down and plucked what felt like a broom handle out of her side, shoving it out of the way. Auron's answering hiss of pain told her she'd only succeeded in sharing her discovery with him.

"I'm going to hurt your brother," he muttered as he struggled to right both himself and the cleaning supplies they'd knocked askew in their unexpected tussle.

"Good," she grumbled. "Waste him for me, too." _I wonder how long we'd have if I just opened the closet door and dumped all this junk into the hallway…_

"Rikku," Auron said, clearly trying to regain some control. It was a poor effort, considering how husky his voice was. "I _need_ to know. Are you trying to return to your own time?"

"I think I preferred it when your hands were asking my shorts the questions," she joked, and then squeaked as he shook her.

"You are driving me mad. Don't play this off!" he demanded.

"I'm not, okay?" she blurted. "I want to finish this stupid Pilgrimage, retire in Besaid, and make a dozen little green-eyed babies with you. Or maybe just make a dozen attempts to have one." She fell silent, embarrassed at her own admission.

Auron's huff of laughter eased some of her mortification. "Only a dozen attempts? I'll have to work harder to raise your expectations." He sobered, his hands roving across her arms. "You're serious."

She nodded, knowing he could feel the motion. "I was trying to get back before. That's why I joined the Pilgrimage at first, you know. I thought the Fayth could help me out."

"And now?" he asked.

"And now, I'm not trying anymore," she said truthfully. "I guess I stopped wanting to go back. That's kinda your fault."

"Hnn," he grunted in satisfaction. "Did you find a way back to your time?"

"Maybe… but it's not the way I wanna go, because I think it involves dying." She shivered. _Not yet, not yet_ , her memory teased. _Not ever_ , she told herself. "It'd be a one-way trip whether it worked or not."

"Stay, then. And don't tell your brother of your discovery."

"Keyakku? Please! He wouldn't kill me," she said confidently. "He might be a jerk now, but he's not _that_ far gone. Besides, he knows I might be able to turn into an Unsent and come back to haunt him if he tries. Poetic justice, right?"

"That's nothing to joke about," Auron said, his voice sharp and disapproving. "Why are you so trusting, after what he did… to _all_ of us?"

"Because…" She hesitated. "Keyakku was my favorite brother." She could tell by the way Auron tensed that he noted her phrasing. "When he died, it hurt me. It splintered my family, too. Brother, my other brother – _yes_ , that's really his name – was always just that to Cid: Kei's little brother. After Kei died, he and Father fought so much that I ran away for a whole year. On this ship," she added with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry that you lost your siblings," he said. "Both of them, since you've decided to stay."

"It feels a little like I got one back," she admitted. "Except he doesn't match with the picture I had in my head. I'm kinda disappointed." That was the understatement of the year, and by the way Auron stroked her back, he understood. "I'm just like Cid, really." She snuggled more deeply into Auron's grasp. "I guess I compared Brother to Keyakku too. I always teased him about rushing into things before his brain could catch up. But now that I'm here with Kei again, I miss Brother, that idiot. He never would have told Braska to Send me. He'd just have yelled a lot more… and then promised to help me out anyway."

"Perhaps Keyakku _is_ trying to help, too," Auron said. "Although you aren't listening. Didn't he instruct you not to divulge this sort of information so freely?"

Rikku shrugged. "So what? It's _Keyakku's_ theory, not mine. He also told me to stay away from you, but here we are in a broom closet. Not making out," she emphasized, teasing her fingers down Auron's sides.

"Don't remind me," he groaned, bending down to brush a few kisses along her neck.

"I think I'll decide for myself," she murmured, relaxing against him even as the sweet tension of anticipation rose in her belly. _I'll never give this up_ , she thought with an audible sigh. The attention he was lavishing on her slowed down, and Rikku frowned. "Stop now and you're gonna regret it," she warned.

"I will not be interrupted by another Yevon-forsaken broom," Auron growled.

The door flew open, flooding the tiny room with light.

" – _and then he even asked us if we wanted to see them, can you believe it!_ " Ashe complained to Keyakku, who was standing next to her. Her eyes widened as a few bottles clattered to the floor and rolled away at her feet. It was a more graceful reaction than her companion had.

Rikku managed to lift her hand into a half-wave from where it was trapped behind Auron's head. _Probably the better choice than drawing attention to the one on his butt._ "Hi!" she greeted her brother. " _So, you already told Uncle_ _Braska_ _all about the family, huh_?"

Keyakku was frozen, doing his best impression of a suffocating fish.

Auron didn't give him the time to formulate anything more coherent than a loud squawk. He grabbed the offending broom still wedged behind him and thrust it ungently into Keyakku's abdomen, shoving him out of the way. "Thanks," he told the two surprised Al Bhed, before reaching for the door and slamming it shut once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A (mechanic's) creeper is the panel on four wheels that you lay across and use to roll yourself under objects – such as your car – when you fix them. The other kind of creeper applies to Braska and is something you can look up on Urban Dictionary.
> 
> Al Bhed translations:  
> "Kuoonnoh" (phonetic) = "Cunno" = "Sorry"  
> The huge phrase Jecht said = "Have you seen my blitzballs? They are of exceptional size and I know how to play with them. I can show you my Jecht Shot!"


	51. Painted Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting so long for this chapter. A huge thanks to my beta for taking the time to beat it into shape. Leave a review and let me know what you think! And have a Happy Halloween / Reformation Day / Fall Festival if you celebrate it in your country!

Rikku stood on the deck of The Love Boat and smiled. The motor was propelling them at a fraction of its usual speed, but the wave power generators were completely repaired.

The current ruined state of the laser was regretful, however. They'd cannibalized it in the end, along with several other less-essential parts of the boat to rebuild the portions of the hull and engines lost to Sin's attack.

 _Father's not gonna be happy when he sees his ship._ She still remembered the fallout from the sudden and unfortunate end to Keyakku's first mission, but her guilt was mitigated by fury.

At least he'd stopped trying to separate her from Auron after the supply closet fiasco.

The catamaran skipped across the water at a slow, but steady, pace. An invigorating sea breeze blew her hair back, and she inhaled the salty air with deep satisfaction.

Necessary deconstruction aside, her ship was _alive_ again, and it felt _good_.

"Now, if only I knew where we were going," she mumbled. Sighing, she marched towards the hold. Several Al Bhed crewmembers nodded as she passed; making such rapid repairs on the ship outstripped the taboo of being a Guardian – or making out with one in a closet – apparently.

Stopping before the captain's cabin, she wavered, hesitation warring with anger. But, if anyone was going to answer her…

She touched the wall panel, then opened the door after hearing Keyakku's gruff, "Enter."

He sat at his desk, pouring over the Pollendina family's navigation charts. They were a collection of salvage maps pointing to unexplored ruins; some of the Al Bhed's greatest treasures were contained there.

Keyakku looked up, balked, and slammed the notebook closed.

She rolled her eyes. "So, you don't trust your little sis with the treasure, huh?"

He glanced from the book to her, then huffed. " _Of course_ you'd recognize this. I guess it's kind of pointless, huh? If there's anything to find in here, you probably already know all about it."

"Or found it already, yeah."

Still, he made no movement to reopen the logs.

She leaned against the wall and studied her brother. _What happened to us? I thought we knew each other._ Memories of her loving brother assailed her, but it seemed impossible to reconcile the man she'd looked up to with the paranoid captain sitting before her. _Where's the trust?_ His betrayal of her confidence was still raw and bleeding.

Despite her intentions, she couldn't stop herself from poking the wound. "You were my idol, you know."

He jerked, turning a wide-eyed gaze on her.

"I wanted to be just like you. I tried so hard to learn all this stuff so I could keep up. Somewhere along the way, I guess I ran right past you."

Keyakku sighed, pulled off his headgear, and scrubbed at his hair; freed of his usual trappings, they looked more like each other than ever. "Look. I said I'm sorry – "

"Excuse me, but no, you never said anything!" Rikku snapped.

"I'm apologizing now."

"You don't need to start lying about how you feel. It's too late anyway," she added in a quieter voice. "After what you did… there aren't any takebacks."

Keyakku leaned on his desk, chin in hand. "I admit I made a mistake. If I could make it up to you, you know I would."

"Do I?" She squinted at him and tried to remember the Keyakku she _thought_ she knew. He'd always kept their family together, despite their disagreements; he listened, taught her what he knew about machina with limitless patience, and he doted on her – even more than he ever did Brother. Keyakku had been the warmth, the smiles, the _tenderness_ that was missing in their own father. "Do I know?"

He flinched, unable to meet her stare, and her image of him crumbled just a little more.

It _hurt_.

As he sagged under the weight of her criticism, she was struck by an odd thought. _Maybe he did try to make it up to me when he got back… the_ _ **other**_ _me, in Bikanel. Maybe him being nice to mini-me is part of his apology._

It didn't make it better for her, but it was food for thought.

Reaching down, Keyakku opened a drawer and pulled out a familiar bottle of _paan_. He held it out to her – an olive branch. "You and me," he said, studying her. "We turned out the same. I didn't expect that."

Rikku raised an eyebrow, refusing the offer. "Well yeah, we do look a lot alike. You'd have to be blind not to see the resemblance. Speaking of, your crew's pretty good at ignoring stuff when you order them to."

"True, but not what I meant." He laughed. "I always thought you'd take after Pops. Loud and impulsive, lots of tunnel vision, you know. But you're a problem-solver too. You can see the bigger picture." He shook his head. "We're both like Mom."

She stilled. No one _ever_ talked about Mom. It was a forbidden topic. "Really?" she asked, keeping her tone steady.

His obvious disappointment said it all; some part of him had hoped she already knew whatever there was to tell. "Come home with me," he said, sincere. "Come back to Bikanel, and I'll tell you all about Mom. Anything you want to know."

 _And there's the catch._ "I can't leave the Pilgrimage," she replied.

"You can. You just have to want to," he said more firmly.

"Do I need to spell it out for you? I'm not going."

"Why not?" he pressed. "You'd be welcome there. You wouldn't have to go through this sham of a Pilgrimage."

"I _am_ welcome here, in case you didn't notice," she shot back. "Auron, Braska, and Jecht are my best friends here. And our Pilgrimage isn't a sham!"

He eyed her in disbelief. " _Their_ Pilgrimage goes against everything the Al Bhed believe in. _We_ don't sacrifice summoners for our own safety."

Ouch. That hurt. Still, she drew in a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm not leaving them."

"You'd choose them over coming home?" Keyakku slammed his fist on the table, making the notebook and _paan_ bottle jump. "You're Al Bhed! You're one of _us!_ We're family!"

Rikku squared her shoulders. "I'm a Guardian first. That's all I want… and all I _need_ , now."

"No, Rikku – "

She sighed and cut him off. "I didn't come here for this. I need to know where we're going. And by we, I mean Braska and the rest of us. Oh, and that bunch of elite crusaders you're holding hostage, too."

He frowned. "Don't change the subject."

"I haven't," she said evenly. "Can you really keep all those Yevonite soldiers under your thumb until you get to Bikanel? And, I'm sure Father will welcome them into Home with open arms when we arrive."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Am I really worth all the hassle it'll take to get me home, voluntarily or not? Don't tell me you already forgot about the 'bigger picture.' "

The jab to his earlier comment hit home. He clenched his head between his hands and leaned on his elbows, shaking his head in frustration. The motion was so familiar to her that it almost broke her poker face.

"I'll deal with the soldiers – " he began.

She talked right over him. "Not to mention Uncle Braska and his Guardians. Like _me_ , remember? Don't underestimate the trouble we could make for you. The crusaders would follow Auron anywhere, and you've seen Uncle Braska summon." Crossing her arms, she did her best to look intimidating; maybe there _was_ a little too much of Auron rubbing off on her. "Don't forget, I already broke your big fat gun. _Oopsie._ "

"Are you trying to threaten me?"

She sniffed. "I spent the past five days making your crew like me. Auron spent that time building an army right under your nose. And you've made the only summoner on this ship – our own _uncle_ , so tell me again about family – feel like an outcast." She bared her teeth. "I _can_ sail this boat without you. So… you wanna talk about where you're taking us?"

It was a big bluff. If it came to a mutiny, the Al Bhed would side with Keyakku. And, indebted as they were, the crusaders would hesitate to fight their Al Bhed saviors, tenets be damned. In fact, Rikku suspected that the seeds of Operation Mi'ihen were being planted right there: the survivors paving the way for a new generation of crusaders willing to work with the Al Bhed and their machina.

But her posturing wasn't _entirely_ smoke and mirrors, either. If word got out that the Al Bhed were taking "hostages" to Bikanel – _during_ Luca's tournament season, at that – the results would be devastating.

Keyakku might want her to come Home, but she was willing to bet he wanted to avoid open war against the rest of Spira _more_.

 _You really think I'm like Mom_ _ **now**_ _?_ But the words caught in her throat.

He analyzed her for a long moment, then sighed. "When'd you get so bossy?"

"I'm not bossy," she protested. "I'm a _survivor_. And I know how to get what I want."

Clearing his throat, he glanced at her one last time, then reopened the navigation charts. He flipped through the pages, located the appropriate map, and pointed. "According to my calculations, we're here right now. Where did you want to go?"

"Our goal is the Calm Lands," she said, moving towards the table and turning the map her way. She tapped her chin and frowned, thinking of Jecht. He'd gathered all the tools necessary to unlock his Celestial Weapon, but they'd be nothing more than dead weight until he underwent the ritual in Macalania's forest to unseal its true power. "But we gotta stop by Macalania first."

Wincing, Keyakku said, "That's way too close to Bevelle."

By which he meant, "The Love Boat's damaged. We won't be able to avoid Bevelle's defensive fleet if we approached the city."

Although she couldn't fault him for being cautious, the thought of backtracking halfway around the continent on foot – or worse yet, over water on The Love Boat – was _terrible_. "How close can you get us?" she asked.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Keyakku rubbed his chin. "I can probably get you guys onto the outskirts of Lake Macalania, near the Temple. But you'd still have to find a way in; the whole place is surrounded by cliffs."

Rikku worried her lower lip. "That's still probably our best bet." She tried not to think of their lack of weather-appropriate gear, long lost to the two shipwrecks they'd survived.

"Even if you make it in, you're gonna freeze," he said bluntly.

"We'll come up with something! Team BARJ is good at improvising."

"Team _what?_ " Keyakku shook his head. "No, just forget I asked. I need to get rid of your crusaders first anyway; it won't make things any easier if we get caught with them on board." He pointed at another segment of the map. "We'll make a stop near Guadosalam – it's neutral enough territory – then drop you by Lake Macalania afterwards." He looked up. "After that, you'll be on your own."

She pushed away from the table. "You were never with me from the start, _Kei-Kei_."

He flinched. "I really _am_ sorry."

"Yeah," Rikku said, not bothering to turn back as she left the room. "Me too."

**.x.x.x.**

Macalania's chill leaked through the entire ship; no one, especially the remaining Al Bhed crew, was happy to be there. The catamaran was still damaged enough to require the conservation of all available power. As a result, the environmental controls had been some of the first to be sacrificed. The ship was moving at a crawl through the less-than-temperate ocean waters.

Rikku's breath condensed into crystalline patterns against the metal ceiling over her high bunk. She couldn't feel her nose. The idea of sneaking into Auron's bed to snuggle for warmth was considered and discarded for the millionth time. Much as she might have enjoyed it, she didn't want to completely ruin Auron's reputation in front of the others.

"I can't believe we're here again," Jecht complained, tightening his blanket coat. "It was cold enough the first time!" He fingered his necklace, still enchanted to protect against the chill. "This charm can only do so much."

"Hey!" she chimed in, annoyed. "You know you'd be worse off without it."

"Or you could wear a shirt," Auron added.

" _Or_ we could go someplace that isn't the ass end of an icicle, like the rest of them crusaders did!"

"You would delay Braska's Pilgrimage even more?" Auron grumbled. "We're already suffering this setback for _your_ sake." He scowled and adjusted the blanket across his lap.

Braska clucked his tongue from his own bed, where he was reclining with his arms behind his head. He was weathering the climate change within the ship with ease, even offering his lone blanket to Jecht. "Witnessing the birth of a Celestial Weapon is hardly a setback, Auron," he scolded. "I, for one, am eager to see what will happen."

"I suppose it _will_ help against Sin," Auron admitted grudgingly, tucking his hands into his coat.

"Don't remind me that we gotta fight that thing, man. I don't think one sword is gonna make that big of a difference, _Celestial_ or not."

Someone knocked on the door.

" _Come in_ ," Braska called out.

The door slid open and Ashe nodded at them. " _We've arrived_ ," she said, avoiding Rikku's eyes. " _It's time._ " She glanced in Auron's direction and turned bright red.

"This is our stop, guys," Rikku said, snagging her blanket as she jumped from her bunk.

Ashe stopped her before she could leave the room, pushing a large wrapped bundle at her.

Rikku fumbled, but didn't drop it.

" _For you and your friends_ ," Ashe said. In her attempts to look away from Rikku and Auron, she spotted Jecht and the red of her face shifted to purple as her gaze dropped to the blankets piled around his lap. " _From the captain!_ " she squeaked, all but fleeing the room.

"What exactly did you three do to elicit that response from the poor woman?" Braska asked suspiciously.

Rikku thought back to the supply closet and let out a dreamy sigh. " _Everything_."

Auron coughed.

Eyebrows raised, Braska faced Jecht. "Can _you_ perhaps enlighten me?"

"Huh? Oh, Rikku said I asked her to check out my balls." He shrugged at Braska's incredulous stare. "What? It was an accident!"

"Oh, that was no accident," Rikku mumbled happily, mind firmly in the supply closet.

"Rikku," Auron broke through her stupor, smug smile in place. "The package?"

"Yeah, what's the surprise?" Jecht asked, flipping down from his bunk onto Auron's bed.

Auron grunted and booted Jecht off.

Rikku sat herself next to Auron and began sifting through the contents. "Wow. Three sets of Al Bhed thermals. We usually use these under our wetsuits to keep warm when we dive deep."

"Thank Yevon," Braska huffed, shucking off his outer robe and dispelling the blue glow glimmering over his bare skin. "I was growing tired of casting NulFrost."

"... That's an area of effect spell," Auron noted in clipped tones.

Braska blanched. "Err… it _is_ quite taxing to maintain?"

"We'll talk later."

Jecht cracked his knuckles in agreement. Braska cleared his throat nervously.

"Less fight, more antifreeze," she said, handing out the appropriately-sized clothing. All _three_ sets of it.

Auron frowned. "I see Keyakku's generosity knows definite bounds."

"Sorry." She winced. "At least you're the best dressed out of all of us for this trip?"

Auron tightened his grip on his blanket.

"Ehehehe." More digging unearthed two wetsuits, one of which was of a more feminine design. Squinting at the other, she said, "Looks like this one is yours, Jecht. Might be a little short, though."

Jecht caught the suit she tossed at him. "Wearin' midget clothin' is still better than freezin' my ass off." He was already pulling off his armguard, trying to squeeze into the thermals.

"Let's see… a pair of boots – they're for you too, Jecht," she said, handing over the shoes. "And last but not least, a bunch of Al Bhed potions to keep us going until we can reach a shop."

Her hands slowed down as she brushed over the folded note tucked between the vials. The spiked, hand-written script was brief and to the point.

_Be safe, my sister._

She swallowed and crumpled it into a ball. "Let's gear up," she said. Her fingers shook, made clumsy by the lump of cold stone that seemed to have lodged itself in her belly. _The nerve of that guy… like clothing and a few potions can make up for what he did!_

Auron placed a hand against the small of her back. She stilled.

"It was a generous move," he told her. "Keyakku had no need to aid us."

"It's his way of saying goodbye," Rikku said tightly, yanking the thermal shirt down over her own clothes. "It's fine. It's not like I wanted to waltz into Bikanel and tell anyone who I am, anyhow." She struggled into her pants, avoiding the gazes she could _feel_. "Pollendina's just a tired old clan name that nobody cares about."

"It's your name," Auron said.

"No." She grabbed her wetsuit. "Pollendina is the name of a little girl living on Bikanel right now, learning how to do cartwheels in the sand and wondering where Sin will hit this year." _I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm my own person._ She met Braska's eyes and felt reassured by the faint nod of approval he gave her.

Auron's brow was still drawn.

"I'm Braska's Guardian," she finished. "Sir Rikku at your service!"

He tilted his head. " _Sir?_ "

"I'm made up of too much awesome to not have a fancy title like the rest of you," she replied, standing to zip her wetsuit closed. Then she winced and twisted around a few times. "Ugh, I forgot how tight these things are."

Auron stared. "Perhaps an extra set of thermal garments are unnecessary after all," he muttered, tearing his eyes away. The he leaned over to Braska. "You're taking point today."

Braska let out an audible sigh of disappointment.

Jecht grimaced. "Tight ain't even the half of it." He rolled an arm and a few of the stitches popped. "Well, I guess it's better than nothin'," he groused, bending over to don his armguard and popping another unfortunately-placed seam in the process.

"Ugh, okay, now _that_ is officially too much information. If Braska's taking point, Jecht's taking the rear so I don't have to see his," Rikku groaned.

" 'ey! Ain't nothing wrong with my ass! Don't blame me if Auron's don't compare."

"I'm not worried," Auron said dryly.

"I am!" She covered her eyes. "Somebody save me from this before I lose my dinner!"

"Well, at least this journey into Macalania will be an interesting one," Braska said. He stood and pulled on his robes, conveniently blocking her view of Jecht. Glancing over each of them, he nodded. "If we are all appropriately dressed, let's see what awaits us outside."

They reached the deck in short order, and she had to pause to admire the sight spread before them. Lake Macalania shone like a jewel under the moon, sharpened by the chill of the night. Countless stars littered the heavens, reflecting off the snowy cliffside that extended on both sides as far as the eye could see. A few crystals glimmered in the air – pyreflies, perhaps, or just flakes of ice magically suspended by the force of the Fayth's dream. It was breathtaking, and devastatingly cold.

Rikku tightened the blanket she'd nicked around her shoulders and breathed out curling white plumes. "We can do this," she murmured, trying to keep her teeth from chattering.

"We have before," Braska agreed with her. "And we shall do so again." He faltered as a breeze cold enough to penetrate even his winterized clothing blew past. "Is it not strange? We want not for gil yet have fewer supplies than ever."

"Money is worthless without a shop to spend it in," Auron said gruffly, tucking his red coat closed. "Besides, regardless of our finances, it's to our favor to keep our heads down. Whether they think us celebrities or heretics, at the moment, the world at large likely believes we've fallen. We can continue the Pilgrimage unhindered by Bevelle. Or Luca, for that matter."

"Ain't like we're disappearin' forever. The end game is to beat down Sin, right?" Jecht scratched his head, then shivered. "Kinda think people are gonna notice that."

Auron led them to the edge of the ship, where a few Al Bhed, including Keyakku, were waiting. "If we can complete our objective in Macalania and then reach the Calm Lands without raising attention, nothing else will stand in our way. It will be too late for the Church to do anything but watch."

"First, though, how're we even gonna get up there anyway?" Jecht eyed the snowy cliffside. "S'not like this boat can fly."

"That's a really good question." Keyakku stepped forward. "We've brought you here, as requested, but we don't have the equipment to scale the barrier."

"Thank you for all of your help, Keyakku," Braska said, bowing to his nephew. "You have my deepest gratitude for everything you have done for us. Please… tell your father I am sorry for the troubles I caused him. I will do my best to ensure Raenn's death was not in vain."

Keyakku paled. "Uncle! You don't have to – you can still come home to Bikanel. Bring Yuna to meet the rest of the family! I'm sure she and Rikku will get along well…" He trailed off and avoided Rikku's eyes.

Braska smiled knowingly. "I don't doubt it. I'm afraid I will have to refuse your offer, however. My duty lies elsewhere, now." He turned to study the cliffside.

With Keyakku so close and the tension nearly a tangible thing between them, Rikku couldn't help but hope that his stubborn streak would break and he'd say _something_ supportive. Or even just give them a friendly thumbs-up.

He was still her brother. That had to mean something, right?

She smirked bitterly when he didn't deliver, huddling further into her blanket.

"Your thoughts?" Auron prodded Braska.

"Bahamut," Braska said. "It will take more than one trip, but he is strong enough to carry us over."

"But how're ya gonna get up there while you're in Rapture?" Jecht cut in. "What'd you an' Blondie do before?"

"Well," Braska said, pleased, " _Rikkma_ , if you'll just come over here, perhaps we can demonstrate – "

"Find another way," Auron cut in, brows lowered.

Braska sighed. "I understand your reservations, Auron, but you are being unnecessarily difficult. Flying _is_ the simplest way to reach our goal."

Auron's stone-faced expression didn't shift. "Flying aeons might be seen by the Temple."

Although a good point, Rikku was willing to bet that _reason_ wasn't motivating Auron's bout of sullen logic.

"Hmm. Perhaps you're correct. I do have another idea." He motioned to the Al Bhed. " _Stand back, please._ "

"Auron, Jecht, he's gonna cast something," Rikku translated, and they cleared a small ring around the summoner.

Braska closed his eyes and kneeled, holding his staff up. Runes surrounded him and Shiva descended from the sky with a melodic ring of crystal. She threw her cloak back and regarded the gaping Al Bhed. Then she stepped before Braska, trailing mist.

_What's he planning?_

Shiva raised two fingers to her lips and spun.

"Isn't that – ?"

A slab of ice slammed into the side of the cliff. Shiva raised her arm, gathering power in a glowing ball of white light. Leaning back, the aeon thrust it forward, sending blasts of ice and snow against the cliffside.

"If she snaps her fingers, the resulting avalanche will sink this ship," Auron said after a few moments of stunned silence.

"Maybe ya shoulda just let him summon the dragon," Jecht replied, sounding nervous as he rubbed at a scar on his face.

Shiva, however, didn't straighten, and the spell kept billowing from her outstretched hands. As her magic howled and raged, the icy formation grew into a spiked, crystalline bridge leading to the edge of the snowy cliff. Finally, Shiva ended her spell, tossing her braided hair over one shoulder. With one last contemptuous glance, she leapt off the deck and disappeared in a swirl of pyreflies.

Braska stood and shook his head. "I'm not sure how long that structure will hold. We'd best move quickly."

"Wow…" Keyakku said, audibly impressed. "You've got your own personal ice sculptor." Getting past his shock, he motioned to his crew. " _Bring the ship to the edge of that thing. Go, all of you! I'll see our guests off._ "

Rikku nodded at the Al Bhed as they passed; some even smiled. _It was nice to be back for a little while_ , she thought, turning to take one last look at _her_ ship, nostalgia kicking her lips upward.

"So," Keyakku began, clapping her shoulder. "This is it?"

"This is it," she answered, wistful smile fading.

He looked away but kept his grip on her. "Will I ever see you again?"

She crossed her arms. "When you reach Home, you can see me as much as you want."

"I meant you – _this_ you." His hand clutched her, face stretched tight with regret.

"Not if I can help it, Kei," she said, shrinking away from the weight of his palm. "Maybe some things are better left in the past."

"Or the future," he agreed. His hand dropped away. "Goodbye. And good luck. Don't mess up, Rie-Rie."

"Gee, thanks," Rikku said, turning away.

"I mean it," he called after her, voice wavering. "Good luck. Maybe someone like you doesn't need it, though."

She stopped and faced him, frowning. _What's he trying to pull now?_

Keyakku smiled ruefully. "Just keep pushing and reach your goal, okay? If you believe in this path that much, I've got to believe you can succeed."

"...Yeah," she said, confused. _Maybe my Kei-Kei_ _ **wasn't**_ _a complete fantasy?_ Biting her lip, she looked at him one last time, trying to take in his appearance: young, healthy, and… heartbroken.

"I love you," he said, his words almost lost to the wind.

"... I love you too, Kei," she managed to respond.

_Too much. This is too much._

Turning, she fled.

The ship was still pulling flush against the icy bridge Shiva had created, but the gap was small enough to traverse, and she wasted no time in doing so. Auron called her name but she ignored him, scrambling over the slick ice as quickly as she could.

_That stupid brother of mine… can't even just say goodbye without making things complicated, can he?_

" 'ey! Slow down!" Jecht was quick to catch up, practically loping up the bridge. "Why're you runnin'?"

She stopped to face him, panting. "I'm just mad! So mad! He really just… Keyakku... _ugh_!"

Jecht belted out a laugh. "You sound just like my son." He crossed his arms and sighed. "Want me to keep the boys away 'till you're done cryin'?"

Straightening, Rikku scrubbed the already-freezing tears from her face. "Don't bother," she growled. "There'll be enough tears on this Pilgrimage. No need to add more."

Ignoring Jecht's thoughtful frown, she tried to continue her desperate scramble upwards.

He lunged and grabbed her ankle, tripping her.

Squealing, she face-planted onto the ice bridge, sliding in an undignified heap back towards him. He planted a foot on her butt to stop her from continuing all the way down the bridge.

Lifting her head, she spat snow and glared. "If you were trying to kill me, you're gonna regret failing in about two seconds!"

"I'm kinda thinkin' you ain't in no shape to go up there alone," Jecht told her, unapologetic. He ground the heel of his foot in; she wheezed. "Wait up for Auron, at least."

She struggled, but Jecht's foot had her pinned.

 _What the heck does he think he's doing? It's not fair! None of this was supposed to happen! Seeing Keyakku again at all was just mean! And then finding out how ruthless he really is… except for just now, that's not the brother I knew!_ _ **My**_ _Keyakku wasn't supposed to be like this!_

Her struggles died out. Had that been it the whole time?

_He's different from how I thought he was. Just like Jecht, and Braska… and Auron._

Why was everyone proving different than her memories?

The heavy tramp of Auron's boots approached and the pressure on her backside eased off.

"Thanks," Auron said.

"No problem," Jecht grunted. "I'm gonna go help Braska up. Better you deal with this Bite Bug than me."

Sitting up, Rikku glared at Auron as Jecht carefully retraced his steps. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Leaving one family for another shouldn't have hurt this much.

"Did I ask?" Auron shot back, hauling her to her feet. "You don't have to explain anything to me," he said, and that finally made her _see_ him. He didn't look at her as he tugged her against his chest, as though to shield her from the cutting wind. "If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to scream, then scream. Just don't hurt yourself. I won't allow it."

She couldn't answer, overwhelmed. _I don't have to be strong right now, do I?_ She gasped, only partly in relief, and turned her face into Auron's neck.

His arms came around her, and she let herself break in the protective circle of his embrace.

**.x.x.x.**

"Oh, thank Yevon," Braska exclaimed as they crested another snowy hill.

Despite her feelings about the Church, Rikku had to agree with the sentiment. Traveling Lake Macalania's wilds by day was hard; doing it in the freezing cold of the night was _masochistic_.

"I am exhausted," he declared, leaning on his staff and breathing heavily. Despite his words, Auron's endurance training seemed to be paying off – Braska had managed to keep up with the rest of them this time around.

She masked a small grin.

Even Jecht fared well, finally able to pull his own weight against the fiends there. He planted his black sword into the snow and squinted at the light in the distance. "That's the Agency, ain't it? I'm 'bout ready to thank this Yevon guy myself."

Auron surveyed the steep path down the cliff towards the well-travelled road. "We're only stopping here for supplies and moving on towards the Forest immediately."

Rikku, Jecht, and Braska groaned in unison.

Auron cut them off. "If we want to remain unnoticed, we can't afford to spend a night so close to the Temple. In fact, the less of us who enter the Agency itself, the better."

"Damn! You mean we ain't gettin' a break from this cold, either?" Jecht sulked.

"Stop complaining."

She cringed. "I'm guessing I'm not gonna be the lucky winner of the 'hot or not' contest, huh?"

Auron's stern expression softened. "You and Jecht are too recognizable, especially in those outfits. They'll most likely remember Braska, as well; it's best to keep a low profile here. If those in Bevelle catch wind of our presence, they'll be certain to draw us into their power struggle."

"Aww," she mumbled, rubbing her hands together. "Would that really be so bad, though? I mean, at least we'd be warm. Plus, Yunie's there!"

"Unfortunately, Auron is correct. You're forgetting that you and Jecht are still technically criminals within the city. The only reason you were released from your incarceration is because they expected us to fail, and miserably at that. Now that we have come so far, we pose a real threat to Mika, and Kinoc will surely desire to have us as his pawns," Braska said, that irritatingly _reasonable_ tone creeping into his voice.

Rikku quashed the surge of disappointment and the uncharitable thought that Braska just wanted to avoid his daughter.

"It falls to me, then, to handle the purchase of supplies while you three wait outside," Auron said. "We'll move on immediately."

They began a weary trudge towards the road below, and Rikku tried to ignore her shivers. Keyakku's parting gifts were lifesavers in the bone-chilling cold, but she was still losing feeling in her toes. _We can't get to Macalania Forest fast enough_.

"This ain't fun at all," Jecht muttered.

She listened with half an ear, slipping on a treacherous patch of ice. "Give me the desert heat any day over this," she groaned.

The sound of something heavy hitting the slope behind her made her turn around.

Jecht was looping his foot through one of the dangling chains on the hilt of his sword, which he'd dropped flat against the snow. Stepping onto the blade, he bent his knees and bounced experimentally.

"Oh, for the love of – you're gonna try swordboarding _here_?" Rikku cried.

" _Snow-swordin'_ , Blondie. Get it right!"

"Whatever!" She threw up her arms in frustration. "We're not in the Temple anymore, I don't think it's really safe – "

"Save it! It'll be even better than the last time!"

" _Last time_ ended with Auron fishing you out by your feet after you went ass over teakettle into a snowdrift," she reminded him.

Ignoring her, he pushed off, sailing down the slope. He curved in a sharp arc, directing a spray of snow at Auron and Braska, prompting loud curses from them both.

Jecht's entertainment was short lived, however; his makeshift board hit a protrusion and he went airborne, arms windmilling. With a crash, he landed head-first into the snow and rolled the rest of the way down the hill, coming to a stop at the side of the road.

"I suppose I shall have to see if he's still breathing," Braska said, sounding less than enthused about it. He pushed clumps of snow off his headdress.

"If he is, don't bother healing him." Auron shook some snow out of his collar. "Any part of him that has not yet been bruised is going to be shortly." He did a double-take as he caught sight of Rikku. "What do you think _you're_ doing?"

"What?" she asked innocently, adjusting her goggles. "It looked fun!"

"You've got to be kidding – "

With a running start, she flung herself into the snow, gripping her fully-extended Godhand between both hands like a mini-sled. "Alright!" she cheered, picking up speed as the dark hillside whizzed by. "Way easier than walking!"

Her exhilaration was short lived; the same bump of unusual width that had ruined Jecht's run sent her airborne.

"Or no— _AAHT!_ " Her scream cut off as she hit the ground, rolling the rest of the way down the hill. Sitting up with a groan, Rikku coughed and wiped her mouth, wondering how she'd managed a more impressive wipeout than Jecht.

"Celestial Weapons are _awesome_ ," he mumbled dazedly, sprawled next to her.

Rikku giggled, dusting snow from her hair. "You betcha!"

Auron, who'd raced down the hill, used Jecht as a stepping stone on his way over. "Are you all right?" he asked, scanning her for injuries as he kneeled next to her.

"I'm fine," she told him, flexing both arms in demonstration.

The tension in his face transformed into annoyance. "Unbelievable," he muttered. "This is what you call a low profile?" He stood and walked back towards the road, detouring only to plant another boot in Jecht's back. "Clean yourselves up and wait outside," he said, stomping towards the Agency.

Braska slid to a stop between them, leaning on his staff. "Are either of you grievously injured?" he asked in a tone that implied the correct answer should be negative.

"Nope," Rikku offered, seeking out her weapon and shaking off the snow. "That was exciting, though!"

"My armpits are freezin' now," Jecht added, hopping to his feet. "You think the Stiff'll mind if I sneak into the Agency anyway?"

"I'd advise you not to tempt fate," Braska said amicably. "Rest assured, as soon as we've traveled a good distance from the Temple, I shall call upon Ifrit to warm you."

"Bein' stuck out in the cold makes everyone happy," Jecht grumbled, grabbing his sword and wiping it clean. "Say, we didn't make a sphere our first time 'round here, did we?"

Braska raised an eyebrow. "You are thinking of that _now_?" Then he studied the landscape. "Although Macalania _is_ rather different in the evening, I suppose."

"Well, what else are we gonna do while we're waitin'?" Jecht said. "Back me up here, Blondie."

Rikku rolled her eyes, digging through her pouch. "We can do a sneak attack on Auron when he comes out the door. It'll be payback for leaving us outside!"

"I would have thought you'd be more supportive of Auron's decision," Braska said. "You two have been getting along very well."

Finding an empty sphere, she grinned. "Dating Auron doesn't mean he gets a free pass! If I don't get to warm up in the inn, he doesn't get to avoid starring in Jecht's home movie collection." She offered the sphere to Jecht.

"Naw, I wanna be in it, too! This is for Tidus, so you gotta hold it."

Nodding, Rikku lifted the sphere and tried to punch the control to turn it on. Her numbed fingers slipped, but a hasty juggle kept her from dropping the sphere. "That was close!"

"Are you feeling well?" Braska asked with a hint of worry. "You aren't usually this clumsy."

Righting the sphere, she shrugged. "I'm as good as I can be in this weather, I guess. I can't feel my fingers anymore, so gimmie a minute to get this – "

Braska's unexpected Cure removed some of the numbness from her hands and was followed by swirling globes of blue light that settled against her skin, buffering the chill of the night air.

"Do you feel any better?" Braska asked, and she gave him a grateful nod.

" 'ey! What about me?" Jecht complained. "My fingers are cold too!"

"As I have said before, this is a very draining spell to maintain," Braska lied, pointedly shaking snow from his robes. "Besides, Rikku is family. It's my duty to take extra care of her."

"Umm," she said, fiddling with the sphere. "Thanks, but you really don't have to treat me like I'm special."

"I beg to differ," he replied, prying the sphere from her. Switching it on, he held it up. "So. What is it you wish to record, Jecht?"

"That!" Jecht said, pointing as the Agency door swung open and Auron stepped out, carrying a bulging pack.

Letting the door shut behind him, Auron froze, then narrowed his eyes. "And what are you doing _now_?" he asked with an air of resignation.

"Makin' memories!" Scampering up to the entrance, Jecht grinned and threw an arm over Auron's shoulders. "Now smile and say shoopuf!"

Auron shrugged the arm off, walking away. "Fine, but keep your hands to yourself. Shoopuf."

"You're supposed to smile, too!" Rikku called out.

"I am smiling." His face was like granite. "Is this also for Yuna?"

"Actually, it's for Jecht's son this time," Braska replied, trying to angle to camera to include both men. He frowned. "Auron, could you stand closer to him?"

With a long-suffering sigh, Auron nodded and repositioned himself beside Jecht, who grinned and threw his arm around the other man's shoulders once again.

Auron rolled his eyes but didn't shake Jecht off this time. "Don't ask me to make small talk," he warned.

Braska chuckled and shook his head. "Good. That should do it," he told them, panning the sphere to include the Agency's large banner. Lowering it, he looked out over the dark, snowy glacier, twinkling in the scattered moonlight. "I shall miss this," he murmured. "All of it. Even despite the hardships, this has been a fulfilling journey."

"C'mon man, don't be such a downer! We'll pound Sin and make it out the other side in one piece." Jecht grinned. "I'll even teach you guys how to snow-sword!"

Braska's answering smile was tired. "Thank you, but I'll have to pass on your invitation."

Jecht smirked. "You say that now, but I'll get you to change your mind, B. Just you wait!"

A tense hush descended, and Rikku swallowed. Every step drew Braska towards his inevitable conclusion, yet he still hadn't mentioned his fate to Jecht.

 _For every secret we unravel, there seems to be a dozen more to bury us_ , she thought, feeling cold despite Braska's spell.

Auron ground his teeth together, and he shook himself out of Jecht's grasp. "There won't be any lessons after Sin."

"What's the matter now?" Jecht asked, surprised. He squinted at Auron. " 'Fraid I might bite?"

"Jecht..." Auron trailed off and lowered his head, his scowl deepening.

Jecht shrugged. "Whatever, man. You're always gettin' in these moods." He looked over at the others and grinned. "Braska! You should take one, too. It'd make a great gift for little Yuna!"

"I suppose," Braska said, looking at the sphere in his hands.

Reaching out, Rikku grabbed a flap on the arm of Braska's robe. "Don't," she said, meeting his eyes. "Don't do this to him."

"Braska..." Auron had stepped forward and was now also staring at Braska. His frown was crumbling into something more brittle. "Will you continue, my lord?"

Jecht looked between them. "I must be missin' somethin' here. Blondie? You gonna translate?"

Rikku's knuckles turned white, her grip tightening. "Don't make _me_ do this," she whispered, desperate. "Not to Jecht. Not anymore. _Please_."

Braska tensed, his hands clenching around the sphere. But he said nothing, and Rikku's mouth twisted.

Auron's expression turned dark. "We shouldn't be wasting our time like this!" He slung the pack over his shoulder and strode through the snow so quickly, Jecht had to jog to catch up with him.

"Wait, what's up, Auron?"

Auron ignored Jecht and continued to plow towards Braska. He pulled Rikku away from the summoner, cradling her in the crook of his arm. "Say nothing," he said to her. "This is not your burden."

"But I can't do it anymore," she mumbled, turning her face into Auron's coat. "I hate it. I hate all these secrets!"

Jecht caught up with them, a definite scowl stretching across his face. "Somebody gonna tell me what the sudden hurry is?"

Auron released Rikku and whirled on him, shielding her from Jecht's view. "Let me tell you what the hurry is!" he snapped.

Braska started. "Auron!" he yelled, shutting the sphere down. "A summoner's privilege – !"

"Even you should be able to figure it out by now!" Auron snarled at Jecht, interrupting Braska. "Rikku has been a Guardian _before_. She _knows_ the price. If we fail, Braska dies!"

"I will not fail!" Braska's shout was even louder than Auron's.

Undaunted, Auron faced him, his fury obvious in the tense line of his shoulders and the jagged scowl on his face. " _You'll still die!_ " His words sliced through the air, sharper than any sword.

"What? Whaddaya mean, Braska _**still**_ dies?"

Rikku bowed her head and huddled further into Auron's warmth. Jecht needed to know, but finding out like this was crueler than he deserved. _But, is there any way to tell him without hurting him?_

The answer was obvious in how none of them were willing to meet Jecht's eyes.

"The fate of all summoners who call the Final Aeon," Auron eventually ground out, resignation and loss tempering his tone. "The final summon is a _human sacrifice_ , Jecht. Whether we win or merely die trying – _Braska won't return._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from a quote of "A Familiar Rain" by John Geddes:
> 
> "...I gave you painted air – tears I couldn't weep – truths I couldn't speak – all the words that caught in my throat..."


	52. Challenged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a new cover for this fiction that was created by the awesome artist, Djpunupipi! You can see it in its full glory on AO3 or SpaceBattles; I highly recommend you do. Thank you, Djpunupipi!
> 
> There's also a new poll on my profile, because I'm a curious soul and I'd like to know who your favorite character in Memento Vivere is. Enjoy!

_Crack!_

Jecht smashed his fist into Braska's face.

Rikku reached for him. "Jecht!"

He whirled on her, angrier than she'd ever seen him. "You lied, Rikku," he shouted. "You _lied_ to me!" Auron moved to hold him back, but Jecht avoided him in disgust. "Don't touch me, man. You ain't any better than the rest of 'em."

Braska winced, probing his already-bruising chin. "They withheld that information on my orders," he said, working his jaw and casting a Cure.

"Like that makes it okay? A good team knows when to ignore a bad captain," Jecht spat. He glared at Rikku again. "Thought you knew that."

"I wanted to tell you – "

"Fuck you," Jecht said. "Fuck all of you. We ain't doin' this here." He turned and stalked down the road.

Auron leaned over and held his hand out to Braska. "It had to be done."

"Not in this manner." Wearily, Braska clasped Auron's outstretched arm and stood. He dusted the snow from his robes, wincing again when Auron gave him a not-entirely-friendly pat on the back.

"You left us no options," Auron said. "Drawing it out as you did was only more painful. This way we're still giving him a chance to decide for himself if he wishes to continue."

"Once again, I reached… too far." Braska wilted and trailed after Jecht with a pained look on his face.

Auron glared as Braska continued ahead. "I don't know what to do with him anymore," he admitted after a long moment.

Nudging Auron, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to follow. "I kinda think we can't do anything." She fell silent, also watching Braska and, further ahead, Jecht. "...You think Jecht's gonna ditch the Pilgrimage?"

_If he did…_

A brief flutter of hope stirred. Maybe – just _maybe_ – things could change _without_ her interference. Maybe there could be a future where Auron and Braska lived and Jecht wasn't turned into a monster.

She thought of Keyakku's time theory, and Auron's secret fear. _But if they live, I might not be there to see it happen._

"Jecht? Abandon us? No," he answered, gripping her hand tightly. "We're his friends, and Jecht is loyal to the people he cares about." He drew her closer. "I'm betting we'll be stuck with him for life."

"Right." Rikku smiled wanly, unable to muster more in the face of her sudden hope being dashed. "He's not going anywhere." _Especially when he knows it means leaving Tidus behind in Dream Zanarkand._

Auron's gaze tracked across her face, as if able to see her sudden melancholy.

But she couldn't – shouldn't – tell him more about the future. _Knowing the truth would hurt all of them. Can I blame Braska when I still have so many secrets?_

She looked away and picked up the pace. "Let's catch up."

The snowdrifts and the bitter cold subsided as they exited the plains; small spurs of crystal grew alongside the path, gradually transforming into the dense forest of Macalania.

Braska waited at the large split between Bevelle and the Calm Lands and began to speak as they came near. "He hasn't said a word," he murmured, canting his head towards Jecht, who was squatting on the other side of the crossing. "Maybe you should approach him, Rikku. I'm sure he could use a confidante, if not a friend."

Panic struck her. "I lied to him just like the rest of you, you know!" she hissed. "I bet he doesn't wanna see my face either right now!" Then she looked at Braska – the cause of the problem – and Auron – ever the emotional iceberg, despite his newfound warmth towards her.

...If comforting Jecht fell to either of them, it'd be a disaster.

"Fine." Swallowing, she gathered her courage and marched toward Jecht. "Hey," she called out.

He didn't answer.

She skipped forward and crouched beside him, wrapping her hands around her knees.

No acknowledgement as he stared at a rivulet of water running between the crystal trees.

She sighed and hunkered; Jecht could take his time.

The forest, unlike the snowy fields, wasn't much changed by the evening light. Slivers of floating crystal drifted through the air, ringing like wind chimes. The surrounding trees rose far overhead in twisted spires, blossoms of translucent foliage and glowing orbs of light interspersed between their twining branches. The sound of flowing water was everywhere.

 _You could almost forget all about your problems here._ The soothing atmosphere eased some of her tension, to the point where it was almost a surprise when he broke the silence.

"No wonder you people made us. Who'd wanna live in _this_ world?" he said before laughing bitterly and gripping his head. "I'm the dumb one, ain't I?"

"You're not dumb," she said, latching onto the conversation. " _We_ kept this from you."

"Yeah, but I know everythin' now – just how screwed up this world really is. This freaky cult o' yours, that town-eatin' monster you haven't gotten rid of in a thousand years, even Braska's Pilgrimage…" Dropping his hands, he snorted in disgust. "But I _still_ wanna be here. 'S better than the alternative. Crazy, ain't it?"

She swallowed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You should be. I thought we were _buddies_."

The words cut deep. Her gaze skittered away from him to the surrounding crystal foliage, clear and transparent. _Unlike the rest of us during this whole Pilgrimage._ Guilt wracked her. Maybe if they hadn't let their secrets twist them into knots –

"…But I guess you can't be buds with lyin' losers, eh? I've been keepin' secrets, too. Can't expect y'all to do any different." He stood. "Time to come clean."

"Huh? W-wait!" Whipping around, she leapt to her feet and chased after him as he flagged down Braska and Auron.

"Yo!" he yelled, much too loud for how close he was to them. "Before we go any further, I gotta tell you guys somethin'." Jecht glanced over his shoulder at her.

Was he… asking for her support? After she'd lied to him? _I thought he was still mad at me!_

She shook herself. _This isn't about me. It's about Jecht._ And as open and careless as Jecht seemed to be, how many people did he ever really allow to come close? _Buddies_ , he had said. She gave him an encouraging nod. _I'm still your buddy too._

Jecht returned the gesture, then crossed his arms. "I ain't real," he said, then paused as if bracing for a blow.

"…Jecht." Auron's familiar scowl started to creep across his expression. "If this is one of your jokes, now is not the time – "

"Shut yer trap!" Jecht bellowed. "I only figured it out a while back, see. I thought I really was from your Zanarkand, but I ain't." He looked up at the foliage overhead, troubled. "I didn't ask to come to Spira. I was called, I guess. By somethin'. Or someone. Dunno how, but I ain't like the rest o' you. I ain't… human."

"While I've never doubted that you're a fine example of a _sub_ -human, aren't you taking that analogy too far?" Auron replied dryly.

"Jecht, what are you talking about?" Braska asked, visibly worried. "I know you are upset at us, but we've travelled together for quite some time. I think one of us would have noticed if you were anything less than human."

Jecht crossed his arms. "One of you _did_ notice."

Rikku scuffed her boot, not daring to meet the twin gazes that fell on her.

"…You're being serious, aren't you?" Auron asked. "Explain yourself."

"Not real…? You're certainly not Unsent," Braska said. "You've witnessed two Sendings. I'm not sure how you managed to travel through time, but if it happened to Rikku, there's no reason it couldn't also – "

"You don't get it, man," Jecht said with a tired sigh. "I ain't _human_. I'm like one of your pets."

"My pets – ?"

"He means your aeons," she offered reluctantly.

The soft tinkling of the crystal forest was almost deafening in the silence that fell.

"You knew about this." Auron's voice broke the impasse. " _This_ was the secret you two shared."

"Yeah," Jecht said. "Guess I'm an aeon too. Somethin' like that, anyhow." He wouldn't look directly at any of them.

Rikku squinted at him. _He's scared of telling us this, isn't he? What does he think we're gonna do? Abandon him, or send him back to Bevelle?_

Stepping close, she punched him in the back.

Jecht wheezed and craned his neck, glaring. "The hell you doin' ?"

She glared right back. "Maybe it's because you're so dumb, but you're the bravest person I know," she said, her voice pitched low. "You faced this on your own head-on, not the way we tiptoed around you with Braska's secret. You know, Tidus is also my friend, and you two are the same. I think you can call me an expert when it comes to befriending your kind." She dropped her hand. "I know it's harder now, but you _can_ still rely on us."

Jecht's eyebrows lifted, expression naked and open. "You really think it don't matter that I'm an aeon?"

"An aeon?" Auron scoffed. "If so, _you_ are the most pathetic excuse for one I've ever seen. Is the Mark III your special attack? _Hnn_ ," he added, loading the syllable with contempt.

"It was good enough to take you down, wasn't it?" Jecht shot back.

"It was nothing special," Auron replied, dusting his hands as if to rid himself of a problem. "You may as well save yourself the embarrassment and stick to calling yourself a human."

"That ain't what I'm sayin'! What's your problem, man? You ain't _listenin'_!"

Auron shrugged. "I heard you the first time. You're the only one here who has problems understanding." He turned his head and huffed. "Frankly, you're terrible at this."

"Look, Auron, the hell are you – "

"I suppose," Auron said, even louder, "despite being such a subpar specimen of the species, you've still somehow managed to retain your humanity."

Jecht's protests died out. "Oh." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Ya know… you ain't so bad for a stiff." Then he looked up, grinning. "But don't this mean it ain't fair for me to fight ya? I mean, technically, I'm one o' Braska's war gods, right? Lemmie see, he's got a god of Thunder, Ice, Fire, and Wind… wonder what that'd make me?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. _Is he gonna –_

He puffed up. "Jecht, God of Blitzball. _Oh yeah._ "

"A war god? What a fertile imagination you grow in that empty space between your ears." A smile lifted the corner of Auron's mouth. "If you want to back out of our duel that desperately, you'll have to think up of a better excuse. _Wimpeon_."

"Better than bein' a Stiff." Jecht's relieved grin faded when he looked at Braska, silent and still sitting. "You're bein' awfully quiet."

"I'm trying to comprehend what you said." Braska frowned, staring at Jecht. "How can you be summoned? _Who_ summoned you?"

Rikku dipped her head, her guilt making a swift return. _Well, how am I supposed to know what a buddy would do in this situation?_ No matter what Jecht thought of holding back, she was pretty sure no one was prepared for the answers she had – not even Braska.

And how could she even explain Yuna's involvement with Shuyin, Lenne, and Vegnagun for that matter? Braska would have a fit; he was convinced his Pilgrimage would put his daughter _out_ of danger. _I can't tell them._

Braska's frown deepened. "There's nothing I've ever come across in the Teachings that could – "

"You're overthinkin' it, B," Jecht said, clearly taking their acceptance and running with it. "Hell if I know either. There ain't nobody stuck in my head tellin' me what to do. I'm my own man." He coughed. "Though there _is_ a certain pain in the ass that orders me to do these freakin' sword drills…"

Auron stared Jecht down until the taller man fell silent.

"That you are," Braska said, expression lightening. "Nothing you've done has ever led me to doubt your humanity. And, either way, I've no grounds to criticize you for keeping this from us."

Jecht sobered. "Yeah, 'bout that… we gotta talk." He looked at Rikku. "Blondie, go take the Stiff and make out or somethin'. I'm stealin' Braska for the rest of the evenin'."

"Are you gonna be okay now?" she asked in a small voice. _He really should be angry at all of us, not just Braska. Is it really that easy?_

As if he could read her thoughts, he socked her in the arm. She stumbled forward.

"This is fine, I ain't too mad. I mean, I guess you had your reasons. Not that I like 'em any. But…" Jecht smirked. "You ain't hidin' anything else, are ya? Huh? _Huh?_ "

Rikku was happy she wasn't facing Jecht; she didn't quite have the same control over her face as Braska did over his.

"So what about you, Auron? Time to fess up."

Auron stiffened. "What?"

"C'mon," Jecht said. "You're the only one here who hasn't overshared yet. You gotta have some big secret hidin' under that coat!" He stopped and gave Auron a sly grin. "You ain't actually a _woman_ under there, are ya?"

From the way he was wiggling his eyebrows at Auron, it looked like Jecht was still willing to be friends with them after all. Almost lightheaded with relief, she grinned and latched onto Auron's arm, matching Jecht's leer. "Oh, I can promise you he's _definitely not_."

"Jackass," Auron muttered, stomping forward and dragging her with him. "Bring Braska back here in the morning. Don't wander too far off in these woods, either. You remember what happened last time."

Rikku tripped after Auron, leaving the two men behind. "You think they'll be fine?" she asked.

"Braska made a mistake," he replied. "He has to face the consequences of this by himself. It's not our place to interfere." He slowed to a stop, then chuckled, although it wasn't a happy sound.

"What's so funny?"

"This must be the strangest Pilgrimage Spira has ever witnessed," he admitted. "I'm not sure how we've even succeeded this far." He trailed off, humor leeching from his voice. "If you travel on a Pilgrimage in the future, then Braska's fails."

It wasn't a question, a statement that hurt all the more because it was the first time Auron had expressed any doubt about their journey.

She bit her lip, startled. _I… recognize him._

It wasn't any discernable change; he was still young, still whole, and for the most part happier than she'd ever seen him before. But there was something about the way that he spoke that unsettled her. A look in his eyes, perhaps, or the weight of his voice. For the first time in a very long while, she remembered Auron as she'd originally met him, jaded and bitter.

"Don't say that," she blurted, feeling desperate. "Don't go down that path."

He stared at her, troubled. "...Was I right to support his decisions as I have up until now? Should I have tried to stop him?"

She couldn't bring herself to answer his question, and her chest constricted – there were no answers to be had, anyway. "This Pilgrimage _is_ important," she eventually settled on. "Without it, we wouldn't have found each other."

Auron's pained expression softened, and he drew a finger under her chin. "That is someth – "

"Ah, a summoner party."

They froze; a woman stepped out of the shadows.

"How very interesting," she said. "Pardon my intrusion, but I hope you will allow me to join your camp tonight. There is safety in numbers, after all." She smiled shrewdly at them. "And perhaps I could trouble you to tell me of your journey?"

**.x.x.x.**

Jecht sighed in satisfaction as he plopped onto the ground next to the small pond, and started pulling off his boots. "I hate shoes!" Rolling his arms, he popped a few more wetsuit stitches as he struggled to shuck it off as well.

"Indeed," Braska said, sidestepping the thrown outfit.

"I'm just glad it's not the asscrack of winter cold here." Jecht leaned back on his elbow.

"While I agree, I do not believe you called me here to watch you disrobe and discuss the weather," Braska said, settling across from him.

"You're right." Jecht fixed Braska with a serious look. "I thought after Djose, there was no way you could hurt me any worse, but guess I was wrong." He rubbed a scar on his chest. "Were you just gonna let me keep on goin' without knowin' anything? _All of you?_ "

"They were under my orders," Braska repeated. "And, it was some time ago now, but Rikku did request I tell you the truth before Mount Gagazet."

"Yeah, but ain't that just around the corner?" Jecht crossed his arms. "Some friend you are."

"I am sorry."

Jecht scrubbed the back of his head, groaning. "If you're just gonna die, why are you doin' this at all?"

Braska folded his hands in his lap. "I want to create a world free of Sin. One for Yuna – "

"Don't bring up your little girl," Jecht snarled. "You ain't doin' nothin' for her by dyin' !"

"But I believe I am," Braska replied.

"You can't even hear how you sound, can ya?" Jecht asked with an air of realization. "You really believe all this shit."

"Only by believing can I find the strength to continue on."

"Listen to you. You're just as crazy as your cult," Jecht grumbled. "You got everythin' _right here_ , _right now_ , and you're throwin' it away on a _dream_! What's the point of defeatin' Sin if you won't be around to see it with your little girl afterwards?"

Braska sighed. "I did not want to 'be around' afterwards. I did not want to 'be around' _before_ , either," he admitted. "Sin already destroyed my most precious memories."

"Don't make me punch ya again!" Jecht roared, silencing Braska. He muttered under his breath for a while, clenching and releasing his fists. "Precious memories. You don't think of no one but yourself, do ya? I got a wife and kid too, ya know! Yeah, you lost your wife, and I'm sorry an' all, but you still got Yuna. Do you even know what I'd give just for that?"

Braska pursed his lips.

Looking away, Jecht continued, "My wife, Anne… my boy, Tidus. I don't even know if I got that much anymore. You're so hung up on your dead wife that you can't even see what you have in your livin' daughter." Scrubbing his face, he redirected his red-rimmed glare towards Braska. "That's your problem. Thinkin' everything good in your life's come and gone already. How can ya live like that?"

Braska studied his clasped hands, sober. "One might say, I was not trying to."

"An' that's what I don't get! How can ya do that to Yuna, huh? She's your flesh and blood!"

"Auron was more of a father to her than I, after Raenn died." Braska's tiny smile was pained. "Another of my failures, you might say. This… is the least I can do for her, now. It is my apology. And my promise... Yuna's future should be filled with happiness. Her life will be better without me in it."

Jecht paused and shook his head. "I think yer gonna regret this, but I give up. It's like talkin' to a Ronso defender. 'Cept the Ronso are more flexible." He narrowed his eyes. "Still, none of that answers why you lied to me in the first place."

"Honestly?" Braska sighed. "…I wanted to look at this journey through fresh eyes. You were untainted by the shadow of Sin." He tilted his head. "You still are, by and large thanks to your… _unique_ origins. I suppose I've been trying to live a second life through the eyes of _each_ of my Guardians."

"No kiddin'. Look at the mess you made with Auron an' Rikku."

Braska's expression pinched.

"Alright, alright." Jecht held his hands up. "It's not really my business, but the three of you together? That's a disaster in the makin', no matter where this Pilgrimage ends up."

"Our conflict will resolve itself with the end of my journey," Braska said.

"Becomin' a noble sacrifice is a coward's way out, if ya ask me," Jecht muttered.

"Go on."

Jecht did a doubletake. " 'ey, uh… you _are_ askin' me?"

"It may seem strange, but yes. I believe I am considering taking advice from you. Auron would be mortified." Braska smirked. "Especially since you just encouraged me to interfere in their relationship."

"What? No, wait! I didn't say that, B!" Jecht craned his neck back toward the path as if Auron would suddenly materialize. "I just think you shouldn't be in such a hurry to off yourself, is all!"

"Peace, Jecht," Braska said. "I understand what you meant."

Jecht's panic receded and an annoyed expression stole across his face. "I'm beginnin' to see what Blondie meant."

"Rikku mentioned me to you?" Braska leaned forward, eyes lighting.

" 'Bout how much of an ass you could be sometimes. I see it now."

Braska deflated. After a few moments of silence, he glanced at Jecht.

"... do you wish to talk about yourself?"

"If you wanna." He shrugged. "I've known 'bout this aeon stuff for a while."

Braska coughed. "Forgive me, but how did you find out that you are… ?"

"Rikku's lil' musician friend told me. The thing in that sphere's from Zanarkand, too. But the _real_ one, a thousand years ago." He picked at one of his toenails. "Don't know where I came from, not really anymore. Just fell outta the sky one day, started my life as a real person with a bang."

"Puzzling," Braska mused. "Every aeon must be called by a summoner, but I know of no one powerful enough to conjure one for so long. Nor have I ever met an aeon with a will so free as yours. I just don't understand. Are you _sure_ you aren't a human from either the past or the future?"

Flicking his fingers clean, Jecht plunged his feet into the pond. "I'm thinkin' it's probably Yevon's doing or somethin'. Y'know, like the machina in the Cloisters. I mean, your Church is in control of all of them other aeons, ain't it? So I gotta be a part of that somehow. And... I ain't a hundred percent sure 'bout that _free will_ bit, neither."

Pulling off his own shoes, Braska joined Jecht at the water's edge. "Perhaps free will is merely an illusion. I knew my fate was intertwined with Sin's even before I began my Pilgrimage. If all roads eventually lead to death, at least this Pilgrimage was, and remains, my own choice."

"Huh," Jecht grunted, splashing water to break the quiet. "Ya know, I'm not even sure if I can die. Your aeons never kick it permanently when they get wiped out, right?"

"Please don't test your hypothesis," Braska said. "I'd be most upset if you were incorrect."

"Hah! Don't that make us a pair, then? I ain't sure if I can die, and you ain't sure that you can live."

"Actually…" Braska trailed off, studying the reflections. "I do know the answer to that. I cannot live. That is why I must do this."

"Blondie tell you that?" Jecht rolled his eyes at Braska's faint nod. "There you go again, assumin' everything's set in stone. No wonder Spira ain't defeated Sin in a thousand years. None of ya are willin' to try a new move."

"I'm fairly sure what Team BARJ – " His face twisted at the acronym, but he rallied. " – is doing has never been done by any other summoner's party before. I, a fallen priest, with a disgraced warrior-monk, a time-traveller, and an aeon as my Guardians? Who knows what the future will bring." Braska's expression grew mischievous. "It's exciting, isn't it? I'm certain Bevelle thinks so."

"A thrill a minute." He glanced at Braska. "So, you ain't givin' up, then? Gonna see this through to your death while Spira cheers you on?"

"What else can I do?"

Dropping his chin to his chest, Jecht sighed. "Messed up," he said. "This world is _messed up_."

**.x.x.x.**

Morning sun filtered through the canopy; the crystalline air cooled the brightness down to a dull imitation of daylight, swathing the forest in a sleepy atmosphere.

Rikku paced along the path, chewing her thumbnail.

"Calm down," Auron said, gaze trained on their new companion. "We'll handle this however it turns out. _Even though she's apparently not your previous summoner_ ," he added under his breath.

 _My luck just keeps on getting better and better._ She sent him a weak smile.

Auron only sighed.

Braska and Jecht entered the clearing and her pacing stopped. "Hey!" she tried to warn them, jumping and waving her hands. _Don't say anything suspicious!_

Now would be a great time to develop telepathy.

"Auron. Rikku. Good morning. We apologize for keeping you waiting overnight," Braska began, then hesitated. "I had not realized you had company."

"Your companions were kind enough to offer me shelter last night," the woman said. Bowing, she looked him over with a faint smile. "Lord Braska, I presume? I've heard much of you."

Braska returned her bow. "I am afraid I do not have the same pleasure, Miss…?"

"Away with those needless formalities. My name is Belgemine, a fellow summoner."

Braska's expression froze, but he recovered smoothly, rising from his bow. Rikku swore she could feel his eyes boring holes into her, even though he didn't once look away from Belgemine.

"Well, this _is_ a surprise. Perhaps I have heard of you after all," he said with a faint arch to one brow. "What brings a fellow summoner to seek me out?"

"I've come to offer you a challenge."

"Oh, here we go," Rikku muttered.

"What challenge?" Auron stepped forward in alarm. "You said you only wished to meet him. What are you planning? Were you sent from Bevelle?"

Belgemine's low, rolling laughter spilled out. "Hardly," she scoffed. "No one has ever _sent_ me anywhere, Guardian."

Rikku choked. _Was she always this obvious about it?_

"We summoners are no tools of Yevon," Belgemine continued. "Let the Maesters say what they will; a summoner's sole duty is to destroy Sin. Nothing more, nothing less."

Braska waved Auron away. "It takes courage for a summoner to say that, especially in the shadow of Bevelle. What sort of a challenge were you thinking of?"

"A battle between our aeons, a one-on-one match." She pulled out a richly decorated scepter, tapping it in one palm. "Not to the death, of course. Shall we see who is stronger?" Her words were kind, but the look in her eyes was flinty.

"Whoa whoa whoa, are we gonna get to see an aeon smackdown?" Jecht asked, looking between the two summoners. "Who even is this chick?"

"I'm merely a concerned resident of Spira," Belgemine answered, her eyes still fixed on Braska's. "Your companion has the right of it. Do you accept the challenge, my Lord?"

"While I appreciate your enthusiasm," Braska told her, "I am not sure I see the point in engaging a fellow summoner in a show battle. Rather than wasting time with meaningless posturing, we should support one another's journey."

"Bad move. B looks like a real wuss now," Jecht muttered.

Auron smacked Jecht's head then hissed, "Do not trust her intentions!"

"But I ain't wrong, am I?" he replied.

Rikku stifled a grin when Auron went silent.

Laughing, Belgemine lifted the sleeve of her robe over her red lips. "What's this? Reluctant to duel me in a friendly match, yet you plan to face Sin with that attitude? Are you even good enough, I wonder?" she prodded.

Braska's polite smile thinned. "Of course, if you insist, I would be happy to oblige you. What are your terms?"

Belgemine dropped her hand, and her predatory grin widened. "How do you feel about testing your stamina as well?"

" _Testin' his stamina?_ ...That's some come-on line," Jecht whistled. "When did Braska become our resident chick magnet?" He pointed at his abs. "Lady, are you blind? The goods are over here!"

"Can it," Rikku mumbled, grabbing Jecht's arm and dragging him away from the two bristling summoners. "I think we better get out of their way."

"A stamina match is acceptable," Braska said, tightening his grip around his staff.

"The best of five rounds." Belgemine's flirtation disappeared, replaced by something serious and grim. "The first to defeat three aeons shall win. Show me how strong of a link you've forged."

The two summoners circled each other; Braska was spinning his staff. "Ladies first," he offered with a dip of his head.

"As you wish," Belgemine said, planting her feet and thrusting out her scepter. With a wide sweep, pink motes of light followed the motion of her weapon into the sky.

"What kind of a wimpy attack is that?" Jecht complained. "And with that girly mini-staff, too?"

The pink sparkles faded, and the sky turned pitch black with an ominous ring.

"Holy shit, never mind," Jecht blurted, eyes wide. "Did she just… make the sun disappear?"

Auron watched the flower petals rain down, bemused. "Braska said he'd collected every aeon. What in Yevon's name is she calling? And why is she not falling into Rapture?"

"Yojimbo," Rikku whispered, cringing at Auron's sudden cutting look. "Eh heh heh…"

Komainu barrelled out of the forest and butted his head against Belgemine's robes. Yojimbo emerged from behind the trees a moment later, his steps measured. He stopped at Belgemine's side, one hand on the hilt of his wakizashi, the other extended, palm-up.

Belgemine dipped her head and dropped some coins into his palm, which the aeon tucked away.

Yojimbo straightened, facing Braska.

A moment of shocked silence followed from the others.

"It demands _gil_?" If Auron could sound more offended, she'd be surprised.

Rikku shrugged. She'd had to work hard stealing gil in the Calm Lands to keep Yojimbo fed during Yuna's Pilgrimage, after all.

 _Wait._ She paled.

Yuna had actually been pretty smart with her money. But if _Braska_ found and _used_ Yojimbo –

"Oh, poopie," she whined. _Being rich was nice while it lasted._

Braska's surprise turned into concentration; swinging his staff low, he bent his head, the familiar runes forming around him. They were mirrored in the sky, as Bahamut broke through the clouds, dispelling the illusory image of the moon. His landing made the ground shudder, crystal shards flying.

Yojimbo reached for his sword.

Bahamut lunged forward, one meaty talon formed into a fist. He swung – Yojimbo sidestepped the attack – and exploded a chunk of ground.

Yojimbo pointed; Komainu rammed full force into Bahamut, pushing the dragon back.

"There's two of them," Auron observed, his eyes narrowing. "The dog is a separate but weaker aeon. How is that possible?"

Yojimbo crouched and drew his wakizashi, sending out a fierce wave of energy.

Bahamut shielded himself from the impact with one wing. Straightening, he shook off the attack and roared, gathering crackling balls of dark energy. Throwing his arms out, he sent the attack flying towards Yojimbo, who slid backwards.

"Damn…" Jecht said, ducking as smashed bits of the forest flew past. "I'm feelin' a little inadequate here."

Rikku gave him a conciliatory pat on the back. "Don't take it so hard. Those are two of the strongest aeons out there. You can catch up later!" She grabbed onto Auron to keep her balance as Bahamut attacked again.

"I don't think I wanna catch up if it turns me into that," Jecht replied, pointing.

Yojimbo was lifting two fingers; a swirl of black at his feet spit out a katana, which the aeon caught in one hand and drew, before throwing himself into a deadly spin.

Bahamut hunkered down to weather the attack; instead, the sword sliced cleanly through him, sending the dragon's wing and the better portion of his upper torso flying. The remains of the aeon's body toppled, drifting away into pyreflies.

"... Wait, I don't count as one of Braska's aeons, do I?" Jecht gulped. "He ain't gonna call me next?"

"If he does, use your free will to run the other way," she said, smirking.

Jecht flipped her off.

As the last of Bahamut's pyreflies disappeared, Braska fell out of Rapture gasping, his eyes wide.

Belgemine smiled, smug. "A point for me. Shall we continue?"

His expression soured and he kneeled. Pillars of flame roared into life around him, and Ifrit burst out of the ground.

Yojimbo dipped his head in acknowledgement and placed his hand on his wakizashi.

"Braska's trying to overwhelm that aeon with strength," Auron observed. "But Bahamut was his strongest aeon."

"That's… not really true…" Rikku trailed off. Braska could win this battle if he'd only call on his most powerful aeon. Why was he holding back from summoning Anima? Because of _her_?

Komainu charged, but Ifrit caught the dog by its neck and squeezed.

There was an audible snap and the dog dissolved into pyreflies.

Growling, Ifrit summoned a meteorite and punched it at Yojimbo.

Yojimbo split the rock in half, but was still blasted by flames when the shards exploded, burning away his cloak. Staggering, the aeon reached into his coat and tossed a handful of daggers.

They struck home, peppering Ifrit's shaggy hide like quills; the aeon roared in pain. Leaping high, Ifrit bared his teeth and landed squarely on Yojimbo, then punched him until all that was left was a Yojimbo-shaped hole in the ground.

The humanoid aeon faded into pyreflies.

Belgemine's smile dropped. "Not bad," she murmured, lifting a hand before her face and closing her eyes. "But it's not over yet." The air around them cooled as Shiva descended from the sky.

Auron had finally unclenched and was now watching the battle with avid interest. "Look… she's entering the Rapture now, unlike before..." he mused. "I've never seen a summoner able to function while summoning." The surprise of Belgemine's challenge had worn off; it was clear she wasn't trying to injure _Braska_ – only his aeons.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Rikku observed as a gust of icy wind washed over them from Shiva's attack.

"I hadn't expected it, but this is excellent practice for Braska," he noted, nodding as Shiva deftly leapt out of the way of Ifrit's wild swing, her braids flying. "Belgemine knows what she's doing. She's _better_ at this than he."

Jecht scoffed. "You're a part of Team BARJ! You ain't allowed to cheer for the other team, dumbass!"

"I can if it will make Braska stronger," Auron replied as Shiva pointed, burying Ifrit under a thick layer of snow. "Braska isn't planning ahead, as Belgemine is. He's merely reacting to her moves. He has to do _more_ if he wants to be good enough to defeat Sin. You can't predict the course a battle will take, so you need to be able to think on your feet – "

"Ooh, what a hit! Did ya see that, Blondie? I think Ifrit's a goner."

"Nooo!" wailed Rikku. "Not _that_ easily! Ifrit can do it!" Feeling a chill, she twisted her neck and met Auron's fierce glare.

"Were either of you even listening?" Auron asked.

"Nope," Jecht answered for both of them carelessly. " 'Ey, your own fault for talkin' too much. Blame Rikku for passin' on her motor mouth. _Oops!_ There he goes!"

As they watched, Ifrit's tongues of flame winked out under an icy blanket; his form wavered and disappeared into a cloud of pyreflies.

"Now it's two to one for Belgemine."

"Well, what would you have done?" Jecht asked, scowling as Braska scrambled to his feet.

"Dismissed the injured aeon as soon as his opposing element, fresh and battle-ready, appeared before him." Auron shook his head. "Braska's not experienced enough to win."

"Don't sound _so_ happy about it," Rikku groused.

"If he loses, it'll force him to _think_ ," Auron said. "Only then can he improve."

"...You sure that's the only reason?"

"Of course," he said, not looking at her. "Do you actually think I'd want him to fail?"

 _Oh, I dunno._ She thought about how pissed off he still was about the whole Baaj incident; Auron could hold a grudge better than anyone she knew. _Considering this isn't a life or death battle, he looks like he's enjoying every second of Braska's struggle._ He was just petty enough for it to be possible.

Clearly unaware of their lackluster support, Braska spread his hands to the sky and looked upwards. Valefor dove to meet him, screeching loudly.

"Nevertheless," Auron began. "Valefor is Braska's fastest aeon – "

Shiva leapt into the air, one leg extended in a vicious axe kick.

The bird-like aeon cawed in distress, wavering. Shiva lunged again, clawed fingers extended, and slashed at Valefor's head.

The bird pumped her wings away from a fatality, but wasn't quick enough to avoid the four wicked claw marks now scored across her chest. She keened in pain as Shiva backed away, fingers held before her to cast.

Auron grunted. "Braska was pushing Valefor to her limits when he rescued the crusaders," he noted. "His aeon should have been fast enough to dodge that."

Rikku winced as a cocoon of ice formed around the flying aeon and shattered, adding to her injuries. Then she squinted as Valefor began to glow. "Maybe Braska isn't trying to get her to dodge," she said.

Valefor spread her wings and performed a somersault. The aeon whipped her mane around in a circle, before lowering her head and gathering energy.

Shiva's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms, surrounding herself in an icy shield.

"Lookit that, the bird's glowin'!" Jecht grinned. "I smell a special attack! Think the ice queen's gonna survive it?"

"Shiva is shielding herself. If he attacks now, it won't be very effective." Auron studied Valefor, a slow smile spreading. "But he's not attacking now. _That_ is a healing spell."

The energy around Valefor burst into sparkling motes of green light, closing her wounds.

Shiva's shield faded; the aeon lowered her arms, looking annoyed. Then her eyes widened as Valefor opened her beak, spitting out a ray of energy that sliced into Shiva's unprotected body and forced her to her knees.

Shuddering, the ice aeon dissipated.

"Tied!" Rikku yelled, pumping a fist. Auron snorted and she stepped on his foot. "Jecht's right, you should be cheering for Braska! Come on!"

"Hmph," Belgemine said, something almost like respect on her face. "So you _can_ learn – I underestimated you." She raised her scepter with a faint grin. "But let's see if you can survive this."

Lightning raced down from the heavens, scorching the earth in a perfect circle around her. Pulling the scepter downwards, Ixion landed with a clatter of his massive hooves. Rearing, the aeon let out a whinny, then dropped and pawed the earth.

Valefor swept her wings together, pushing Ixion back with a powerful gust, but the unicorn spread his legs, digging tracks into the ground, and remained upright.

Tossing his head, the aeon's horn sparked and fired two spinning discs of light towards Valefor; the bird crashed to the ground.

"Get up, get up!" Rikku screeched. She bit her fingernails and tried not to panic. _You're Yunie's aeon! You have to do well!_

Valefor struggled to rise, panting through her beak.

Thinking quickly, Rikku turned to Jecht and hit him repeatedly in the shoulder.

"Oww, oww, oww! Quit it! Whaddaya want?"

"Come on, cheer for Valefor!" she demanded, shaking Jecht's arm. "She's one of your fans!"

Both Auron and Jecht sent her incredulous looks, but she pouted and stubbornly poked Jecht again. "I mean it! We've got to try to help Braska, at least! Do something!"

"You really think that'll help?" He cupped his hands around his mouth. " 'ey birdie! I'm talkin' to you, girl! Get up and show that overgrown horse what you're made of! You ain't done yet, right? I'm rootin' for ya!"

Valefor twitched, eyeing Jecht, then lumbered to her feet and launched into the air with a defiant screech.

"Yeah, it worked!" Rikku cheered, dancing in place.

"Technically, you two cheated by interfering in Braska's battle," Auron said. He shrugged when she glanced his way. "Never said it was a bad thing. Let's see if it's enough to turn the tide."

Valefor curled her wings together tightly. When she unfurled them, magic thrummed through the air.

A swirl of bubbles rose around Ixion, engulfing the thunder aeon in water; the unicorn snorted in pain and charged.

"Dodge! Dodge!" Rikku screamed, and sagged in relief when Valefor managed to avoid the hit by swooping out of range.

"Hnn," Auron muttered, sounding sullen.

Valefor rained another Water spell over Ixion, weaving back and forth between the unicorn's furious counterattacks. Her luck ran dry, however, when Ixion reared and gathered a huge wave of lighting around his horn, then sent it blasting out in an unerring streak towards the flying aeon.

Valefor was trapped.

With a bang, the electrical cage exploded outwards, sending the injured aeon crashing to the ground.

"No!" Rikku cried, watching Valefor's blackened body collapse. "We're so close! Don't give up now – "

"Get up!" Jecht waved his arms at the aeon. "C'mon, _GET UP!_ WIN THIS BATTLE AND I'LL KISS YA!" he bellowed.

Rikku stared at him; she was pretty sure Auron was, too.

Jecht lowered his arms and blinked at them. "What? You're the ones who told me to stack the game, right?"

"That's some dedication!" Rikku giggled, then gasped as she saw Valefor struggling to move. "... I think it's really working!" The aeon couldn't muster the strength to fly anymore, merely twisting her head and panting as Ixion sauntered over.

Stopping before Valefor, Ixion prepared to stab the struggling aeon with his horn. He neighed in surprise when she opened her mouth, a low whine filling the air.

A rotating disc of light appeared before her beak, firing multiple beams of energy into Ixion's face at close range. The unicorn reared backwards, only to be blasted away by even more rays of energy. His surprised scream still lingered in the air even as his body disappeared.

" _Yes!_ " Rikku high-fived Jecht, then danced in place. "We won!"

"It was still a poor victory," Auron grumbled.

Rikku stopped cheering and leaned in towards him. "Don't be so disappointed just because Braska won this time," she whispered. "Not everyone can be as _skilled_ as you are." She licked his ear for good measure.

Auron shuddered but his grumpy expression lifted. His arm also landed around her waist and pulled her close.

 _Mmm, I think my luck's starting to turn around after all._ She soaked in Auron's warmth as she snuggled close to him, squirming in all the ways she _knew_ he liked.

"Be good," he murmured.

"I always am." She smirked and tried to keep her cheeks from reddening under the piercing look he gave her as his grip tightened. "But, umm, spectator sport right now," she whispered, pointing towards the makeshift arena. "Right!"

As if on cue, Belgemine woke from her Rapture, rubbing her forehead. "Stop! That is enough!"

Dropping her head, Valefor rolled backwards and trilled in contentment towards Jecht, before closing her eyes and also fading away.

"Ooh, I think you better watch out the next time Braska summons her." Rikku giggled. "She's gonna get you! Your new number one fan isn't yourself anymore!"

"Laugh it up," Jecht grumbled. "Braska won, didn't he?"

Braska stood, wiping sweat from his brow, and smiled at Belgemine. "That was an invigorating match," he admitted. "I was wrong; this was, indeed, an enriching experience for me." He bowed deeply to her. "I thank you for the challenge. It seems I still have much to learn in the presence of a summoner as skilled as yourself."

"No thanks are necessary." She laughed. "You did beat me, after all. With a little more training, perhaps you could defeat Sin, too."

"Not if you reach Zanarkand first," Braska replied.

"I won't be able to reach Zanarkand," Belgemine said. "I'm afraid my chance has passed. Yours, however…" She trailed off thoughtfully. "You show an unusual amount of talent, even if you are a bit rough around the edges."

Braska twitched, pleasant expression flattening, but was reduced to surprised silence when she pushed her scepter into his hands. "Take this, as a symbol of your achievement."

"Lady Belgemine?" Braska asked, trying to return it. "I've no need of yet another staff. It's something I've learned to do without, in fact," he added, lips twisted.

"That is no summoner's staff," Belgemine told him. "It's a key. Perhaps the key to defeating Sin. Find me in the Calm Lands if you're serious about your duty. I may be able to help… if you have the will to see this through."

Rikku tensed; Belgemine's words echoed Anima's own challenge much too closely. She trembled. _I wonder if Braska loathes that aeon as much as I do._

Braska seemed to remember, too. He took the scepter from Belgemine with a solemn nod.

"I'll await you at Remiem," Belgemine continued. "The name means something to a scholar such as yourself, yes?"

"Remiem…" Braska breathed in surprise. "Is that not a mere legend?"

"It's a story as old as the Great Machina War. But, all stories spring from an element of truth, don't they?" Belgemine's smile was knowing. "We'll meet again, Lord Braska," she declared, bowing. Then, with a twirl of her robes, she swept down the path, as silently as she'd arrived the night before.

"So, what'd she give you?" Jecht asked, scrambling over the decimated clearing. "A summonin' matchstick? Looks all _girly,_ " he noted, eying the flower-laden scepter with disgust, "but if it can call out that sword guy – "

"I don't think so," Braska replied, looking over the ornate scepter. "To find that aeon, we must first locate its Fayth. Although there _is_ an ancient power running through this scepter I can feel. Perhaps it truly is a key." He paused, then looked up at Rikku, smiling a touch too pleasantly to be comfortable. "Belgemine. Now why, I _wonder_ , does that name seem so _familiar_?"

"Eh… heh-heh." Rikku laughed nervously and detached herself from Auron. "So, I guess you kinda figured out she wasn't my first summoner, right? We met her on the way, though. She challenged us too. But she doesn't know me yet, see? That happens _later._ "

"Does that mean you know where to find the aeon she used?" he asked.

"Mmm," Rikku said non-committally, meeting Auron's eye. "You might have already noticed, but he's kind of a weird one. You have to _pay him_ to work for you, even after you get him."

Auron's hand flew to his money pouch, a look of abject horror crossing his expression as he faced Braska.

"So it seems," Braska said, looking over the scepter again. "What do you know of this? She mentioned Remiem. I had thought that to be nothing more than a fairy tale."

"Remiem's not just an urban legend," she admitted. "I can take you there, too. But if Belgemine's waiting to challenge you again, I think you sorta need to practice fighting with your aeons more." She almost felt the glow of approval from Auron and tamped down on her grin. "All of the answers you're looking for are in the Calm Lands, so there's no rush!"

"Ya know," Jecht interrupted. "Belgemine's got an aeon we didn't know about, right? An' Braska's got an aeon she don't know about, too. And hell, _I'm_ an aeon nobody knows about." He rubbed his chin. "Kinda makes me wonder how many aeons are there that we don't know about, huh? Think there's more hidin' out there somewhere?"

Rikku thought of Sin and swallowed.

"Maybe there are others like me, too," Jecht continued. "Y'know… wanderin' around, thinkin' they're human, not really knowin' anything about it."

"It wouldn't be surprising," Braska admitted. "There is much knowledge that the Church has lost over the years. And much knowledge that it has suppressed. There just may be as many lost Fayth stones in Spira as there are stars in the sky. But human aeons among us…" He trailed off at Jecht's look of hope. "I'm fairly confident that you are unique, my friend."

Jecht's visible disappointment dampened the air of Braska's victory.

Frowning, Rikku poked Jecht in the arm. "Hey. You're not the only one, you know? There's a whole city out there, full of aeons just like you – your _dream_ Zanarkand. Maybe one day someone will even follow you here into Spira."

She didn't elaborate in front of Auron and Braska; they didn't need to know that Tidus _would_ follow in Jecht's exact footsteps.

Jecht hardly needed to know, and Tidus was his son.

Clearly taking her words at face value, Jecht's somber look eased slightly. "Yeah, maybe you're right," he grumbled. " 'Sides… we ain't here to find another aeon right now, are we?" He clapped Braska on the back once. "Good fight, man. Now let's go celebrate by gettin' me a Celestial Weapon!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Wimpeon" is a nod to Spanner's short fanfiction, "Final Fantasy X: Summarized!" which is a highly entertaining read.
> 
> Someone once postulated that "Daigoro" was not actually the name of Yojimbo's pet dog, but rather, the name of the dog's attack move. It was also speculated that the dog might have been named "Koimanu" (literally: "Lion Dog") instead. I liked this theory a lot so I used it, but no one knows what the official name of that dog really is. It could also be a nod to the Lone Wolf and Cub manga!
> 
> So why doesn't Belgemine fall into Rapture when she summons Yojimbo? That will be answered later, but feel free to speculate by leaving a review. :)
> 
> Aeon Special Moves  
> Yojimbo: Daigoro, Wakizashi, Zanmato  
> Bahamut: Impulse  
> Ifrit: Meteor Strike  
> Shiva: Shield  
> Valefor: Boost, Energy Ray, Sonic Wings, Energy Blast  
> Ixion: Aerospark, Thor's Hammer


	53. Spirits and Memories

"You sure it's here?" Jecht asked.

"Uh-huh." Rikku squinted through the dense tree branches to the forest floor below. "The shrine's suspended on the crystal path between the trees somewhere around here. You can't just find it, though. It has to open up for you!"

"Then why're we wandering around without a game plan?" he complained. "Feels like we've been goin' in circles for hours now!"

"We're not moving in circles," Auron interrupted, also studying the ground. "We have travelled deeper into this forest than I've ever been, though."

"Yep," she said, still scanning their surroundings. "And, I do have a plan for your information! We're chasing butterflies."

"...Chasing butterflies," Auron repeated. "That was your plan?"

Jecht groaned.

"Why are we chasing butterflies?" Braska asked, scrambling over a jagged crystal knob protruding out of their aerial pathway. "Do they hold some special significance for the Celestial Weapons?"

"Nope," she said, spotting a cluster of bobbing blue butterflies and scrambling off the branch. "But we need their help to find the path."

"How are butterflies supposed to help us?" Auron asked, following.

"They're not _really_ butterflies," she answered, coming to a stop before the cluster of fluttering insects. "They're the spirits of Macalania Forest."

Braska froze, crunching footsteps suddenly ceasing. " _What?_ "

Rikku didn't answer, watching the butterflies circle overhead. _Why won't they come to us?_ "Spirits. You know, the beastfolk. Like Yevon's travelling musicians or that doorman at the Glitzball."

"They're spirits?" Braska asked.

She turned; surprise was painted in stark relief on Braska's, Auron's, and Jecht's faces.

_Huh. Didn't they know that? Whoops..._

"You mean they ain't like us?" Jecht scratched his head. "I thought they were just weird funny-lookin' half-animal things," he admitted. "Are them Hypellos spirits too?"

"No, Hypellos are a regular old race just like the rest of us," she said. "But the beast-people don't have real bodies, I guess? That's why they can turn into butterflies whenever they want to, but most of them left the forest to live as people with the rest of us."

Auron turned a wary gaze on the hovering group of butterflies that was stubbornly refusing to form into a solid creature.

Nodding at them, she continued. "The ones that haven't taken on physical forms stay in Macalania and only show up when they feel like it." _Which they clearly don't right now._ "I think they're still watching us and trying to decide if they want to help."

After a moment, Auron grunted and slung his pack to the side. "Then there's no point in wandering further. Let's settle down here. If they're truly forest spirits, they'll appear when they're ready."

It was as good a place as any, she reluctantly agreed. There really wasn't any point plowing further into the forest; night was already descending, and the clearing Auron had chosen was secluded and cozy. Towering crystalline trees surrounded them on all sides, and a shallow pond rippled along the edge of the copse. The sweet, ringing notes it produced were a testament to the purity of its water.

Sighing, she followed Auron and began to set up their makeshift camp. Jecht did the same, grumbling. Braska approached him and the two men began to converse on the other side of the clearing.

Her hands stilled as she watched them. A heavy feeling of guilt gnawed at her. _We may have told Jecht the truth about Braska's fate, but I still haven't said anything about his own. Doesn't he deserve to know, too?_

"Something on your mind?" Auron asked, kneeling beside her and following her gaze. "What is it? Did he do something again?"

"Oh no," she said quickly. "Braska didn't do anything. It's Jecht this time."

Auron frowned.

"Well, not really, I mean, it's sorta about me, I guess." Tearing her eyes away, she looked up at Auron. "It's just… I know something about Jecht. Something big. And I don't like keeping secrets from you guys."

"Is this about the future?" At her hesitant nod, Auron settled more comfortably next to her. "Then don't bother worrying. It's better for all of us if you don't share your knowledge."

"How can you say that?" she blurted. "Don't you want to know? If I were him, I bet I'd want to know."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I—"

He raised an eyebrow.

She shut her mouth and mulled over his words. " _Why didn't you tell us?"_ she'd asked his older self once, in Zanarkand. The shock of that revelation, the feeling of hurt and betrayal—that he'd kept something so important from them was unforgettable.

In the end, she suspected he'd answered her question mostly for Yuna's sake. " _If I had told the truth,_ " he'd said, " _would that really have stopped you from coming?"_

She broke a piece of crystal from the ground and twirled it between her fingertips. "What if… what if in the future he makes a bad call, and telling him the truth could give him the choice to do things differently? Shouldn't I let him know about it?"

"Rikku," Auron said after a long silence. "I admit I was thinking mostly of your safety when I asked you to keep your own counsel. But that isn't the only reason."

He looked at Jecht, who was now trying to juggle his Celestial Crest, Sigil, and the Cloudy Mirror. He missed a catch, and the mirror fell into the water by his feet. Jecht winced and dove for the fallen symbol as Braska shouted in dismay.

"Jecht shared his secret with us and revealed his greatest fear while doing so."

"That he doesn't know if he's real?"

"No," Auron corrected. "That he doesn't know if he has free will. _That_ is what Jecht holds most dear—his independence."

" _Mayyybe_ you're right," she countered, though she wasn't entirely convinced. Still, what Auron said wasn't wrong. "I guess it makes sense, though. It's the one way he can prove to himself that he's more human than aeon, right? Not being controlled by somebody else."

"Hnn," Auron grunted in agreement. "And, revealing your knowledge to Jecht is an act of control, in a way. You're taking away his—and all of our choices every time you do. The future is not something for you alone to decide. You cannot control fate."

"I never thought about it that way," she admitted, voice small. Her eyes flitted to Braska, who was now also on his knees, helping Jecht search the shallow pool. "Maybe because Braska doesn't feel that way about it. He asks me stuff about the future whenever he thinks it could help. Like with Remiem earlier."

"That is Lord Braska's prerogative." His observation was steeped in disapproval. "Braska believes his destiny is set. He believes you to hold the ultimate knowledge of it. But you do still have a choice: you could also withhold information from him." He cupped her hand. "I disagree with Braska on many things. And I, too, have made mistakes, more than a few of them with you. But I am not always wrong." He caught her eye. "And Braska is not always right."

They were interrupted by Jecht's whoop of triumph as he held up the missing mirror, dripping with crystalline water.

"It could have been destroyed!" Braska yelled, glaring at Jecht.

"But it ain't. Look, that water even cleaned the guck off! You can actually see somethin' in it now!" Jecht waved the mirror demonstratively. Light glanced off its clear surface, reflecting between the darkened trees.

Braska's mouth fell open.

Auron frowned. "What are they—"

She tugged his hand, staring upwards.

The butterflies coalesced, shifting into a ball of light. It dropped to the ground in the shape of a small mouse-like creature clutching a horn nearly as large as itself between its paws.

"Oh me, oh my, visitors galore! Whatever have you come here for?"

Rikku scrambled to her feet and hurried to bow. "Uh, hi!" she said, waving. "Glad you showed up! We're just here to visit the Celestial Shrine."

The mouse sized her up; its nose twitched. "Pukutak welcomes your merry little band. But, why come again, when you wield the Godhand?"

Rikku started. "You recognize me?"

"Why yes, of course, though it is quite bizarre," the little creature said. "It isn't so easy to travel that far."

Jecht and Braska joined them, standing a bit behind Auron.

Braska, in particular, watched the exchange with a look of wonder. "This creature is…" he breathed.

"Guys… this is Pukutak," Rikku said, trying to work past a knot of confusion. _They remember me! How is that even possible?_ "I guess you could say we've met before?"

"Of course we have, how could we forget?" the mouse said cheerfully. It looked at Braska. "Although last time you travelled with a different brunette." It trilled softly. "But the bond is strong, a connection you share. Whether with this summoner, or with his heir."

"Yuna," Braska breathed, jerking to stare at Rikku. "You came here with Yuna."

She swallowed and tried to avoid his gaze. "Umm… we're not actually here for me," she deflected, wondering what else the talkative little mouse would reveal if it kept rhyming. She pointed at Jecht. "He's the chosen one this time."

The mouse faced Jecht, then clapped its paws in delight. "Oh me, oh my, now this is fun! He reminds me so very much of his son!"

Jecht's eyes narrowed. "Huh," he said. "You mean to tell me— "

Rikku shook her head wildly and slashed her hand over her throat, mouthing, _Don't ask!_

"—you know the way to this shrine?" he finished, looking unsettled.

"Ah, but I am not the only guide. Only together shall we decide!" Closing its eyes, the mouse lifted the horn to its lips, and began to play a light, lilting melody. The clear notes rang through the forest, morphing into a meandering tune that skipped through the scales.

"Is that how they communicate with each other?" Auron asked.

"Uh-huh," Rikku whispered, as more butterflies began to congregate in the clearing. Two more balls of light formed, dropping to the ground in familiar shapes.

"Well, well, what have we here?" A squat frog-like creature appeared, speaking in a thick brogue. It beat a short greeting on the drum attached to its belly. "Been a while, lassie."

"Donga?" A smile spread over her face. In her own time, she'd been unable to locate the musicians after Tobli's concert; it was a relief to find her friends were safe in this time and still knew her.

"Got it in one, that's a good girl," Donga said amicably, pounding the drum.

The other glowing creature slowly straightened, now in the form of a tall, robed bird carrying a harp. "Be greeted, travelers." It bowed gracefully. Tilting its head, it blinked one dark avian eye at Rikku, then turned to Jecht. "I am known as Bayra. What business do you have with us?"

Jecht awkwardly held out the tightly-gripped Celestial Symbols. "Ah, well, see, I found these things while I was travelin' through Spira and, well, ya know…" He trailed off uncomfortably under the bird's penetrating scrutiny. "…Ya _do_ know, right?"

A moment passed as the three creatures silently conferred. Then, with a flash of light, Pukutak and Donga disappeared, scattering into swarms of butterflies.

Bayra strummed the harp. The notes faded before it addressed them. "You hold Celestial Symbols and have unlocked the key. We will assist you. Who shall be judged?"

"Uh…" Jecht said. "Pretty sure that's me."

Bayra nodded, then waited.

Hesitantly, Jecht sank to his knees before the avian creature.

With a nod, Bayra struck a few notes on the harp, letting the music surround them.

_This feels familiar._ She knew they were here for Jecht, but she couldn't help it—a wave of nostalgia washed over her. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel Yuna standing next to her, clutching the sleeping Nirvana between her hands. _It's like time just stops in this forest._

After a moment, Bayra lowered the instrument. "The Fang which rends the world asunder. You may pass."

"Whoa," Jecht said, looking up in surprise. "Little dramatic there, don't ya think? I mean, it's just a sword, right? It ain't like it's gonna turn me into some kinda world-destroyer, right?"

"We become what we choose to be," Bayra answered solemnly. "The Celestial Weapon can only reflect your truth."

The silence that followed was pregnant. Rikku turned her head and met Auron's eyes. _Do you still think you're right?_

As if he could hear her thoughts, he scowled at her and shook his head.

Bayra was still waiting, leveling an unreadable stare at Jecht. Even Rikku was beginning to feel some second-hand awkwardness from the creature's piercing look.

Jecht rose to his feet. " _Right._ Whatever you say, man. ...So I'll just go and pick up my sword then," he said before backing away.

"May we accompany him?" Braska asked the birdman, openly curious. "I have only heard legends of the Celestial Weapons. It would be an honor to see one born before my very eyes."

Bayra blinked. "We shall see. Step forward, Lord Summoner."

Braska approached and sank to one knee, bowing his head. Bayra lifted the harp and played; a note twanged and the beast's fingers halted.

"I am sorry," it said. "But the melody, while familiar, is not yet correct. _You_ are not the chosen avatar. You may not pass."

Braska's shoulders drooped. "I see," he murmured. "Thank you for entertaining my request." His brow furrowed and he stepped away, gaze darting towards Rikku.

She met it with a sinking sense of dread. Braska might be stubborn, but he wasn't slow. Bayra's words had hidden a riddle of time, and she could sense him trying to unravel it. _Yet_ , Bayra had said. _Braska knows I came here with Yuna._ Bayra hadn't been saying _Braska_ wasn't yet ready; he'd spoken of the future, of _Yuna_.

The question was, if Braska could also figure that out on his own. She knew he'd eventually ask her, and tried to smile back but couldn't quite manage. Braska didn't know that Yuna was her summoner, at least. She thought on Auron's advice—maybe he was right. Maybe Braska _shouldn't_ know, either.

Bayra was still waiting, harp poised. Rikku jumped when it addressed her. "Little one," it intoned, fingers strumming across the instrument. The chords seemed to wrap around her and a shiver ran down her spine; her fingers twitched. "The Hand which seeks to change destiny. You may pass."

"Uh… thanks?"

Bayra ignored her, facing Auron.

Auron shook his head. "There's no need—"

The bird played the harp again, letting the music settle. "The Sword which cleaves both heaven and earth," Bayra said. "You may pass."

"What?" Auron coughed out. "I own no Celestial Weapon."

"Yet," Braska interjected, a small smile on his face, and Rikku's stomach roiled. His response _couldn't_ have been a coincidence.

_He figured it out already?!_ She scrutinized Braska's face, but his mask was flawless; she couldn't glean a single honest thought from his expression.

"I am pleased for you, my friend."

"There must be some mistake," Auron replied, eyes darting about as if expecting the others to spring some sort of trap on him. "If I was chosen as a recipient for a Celestial Weapon, why did I find nothing of the sort until now? Both Jecht and Rikku obtained their weapons well before petitioning here."

"I do not believe these spirits make such mistakes," Braska replied. "Perhaps it means you are destined for greater things than this Pilgrimage. I hope you will grasp this opportunity which I do not have." He looked at Rikku again; something glinted in his eye. "I wonder if I ever had one to begin with."

Jecht rejoined them, lugging his sword along. He pulled up short. "So, y'all are tense as hell. Did I miss somethin'?"

"It is time." Bayra lifted the harp and plucked a delicate tune; as it played, the forest began to harmonize with the notes, and the air shimmered. A crystalline path formed, leading into the canopy—nothing more than glittering motes of light suspended in the sky.

"Whoa…" Jecht breathed. He put a tentative foot on the path, then used more weight when it didn't sink through. "I'm kinda gettin' how you guys felt in Bevelle that first time," he noted, heading up the nearly-translucent path.

"Go," Bayra commanded. "What you seek lies above. The mirror will show you the way."

"Sure, but, eh…" Jecht trailed off, studying the path that branched into multiple directions like a semi-invisible tree. "Wouldn't it be easier if Blondie just took point?"

"It doesn't work like that," Rikku said, stepping behind Jecht and shoving him. "You have to earn your way to the shrine. Just use the mirror like Bayra said."

Fishing out the Celestial Mirror, Jecht grumbled. "Got it." He held it up, pointing it at the path. With a gentle hum, the walkway solidified, glowing white wherever the mirror reflected its light. He pointed the mirror before him like a torch. "Follow the glowy trail to the prize. Seems easy enough."

"Yeah!" she cheered. Then she stopped, noticing that Auron had yet to follow her. He still stood on the forest floor beside Braska, looking uneasy. "Hey! What're you waiting for? Let's go!"

"Go on," Braska prodded gently. "Our camp has been set here, I can simply wait for your return."

"But my lord—"

Braska's expression grew stern. "I will be fine. Do not keep Jecht waiting."

Sighing, Auron stepped onto the path. When he didn't fall through, a muscle in his jaw twitched; soon, he was striding towards them. "I don't like this," he grumbled when he caught up.

"You need to relax a little," she chided. "Braska can take care of himself, and I'm pretty sure the spirits won't let us get lost." Thanks to Auron's hesitance, Jecht was already further ahead. "C'mon!" she insisted, tugging his arm. "Scared you'll fall off?"

"It's not the heights I'm afraid of," he replied, still visibly troubled. "Why am I here? I shouldn't be a part of this." He glanced at her. "I'm not even certain _you_ should, either. Your weapon is already complete, isn't it?"

She hummed in acknowledgement, recalling her own trial to awaken the Godhand. "Maybe we're both extras here, but getting my weapon to wake up was hard. I think Jecht could use someone with him. And hey, the more the merrier, right?"

"…Very well." Auron quickened his pace.

The path of light wound haphazardly around the twisted tree branches. Here and there, bits of natural wood poked through, bursting with more traditional leafy foliage between the strange rock-like crystal formations.

Jecht forged ahead, navigating the twisting path with his beacon while she and Auron followed at a more leisurely pace.

Twilight was beginning to descend. The ever-present floating crystals in the forest were growing visible, refracting the faint light provided by the crystalline sheath over each tree. The glow intensified the higher they climbed; the darker it grew, the easier it was to see movement underneath the translucent bark of the surrounding trees.

"Look," she said, pointing at one of the clear, shining trunks next to Auron. "We must be getting close to the shrine. Can you see it?"

Auron squinted at the tree she'd indicated, then huffed in surprise. "I see water moving beneath the surface," he observed, reaching out to touch it. "Memory water flows freely through these trees?"

"Yep," she said, covering his hand and lacing their fingers. The silhouette of their entwined hands was dark against the soft blue glow. "I think the crystal coating is thinner near the top, so you can see it better up here."

"Cutting down the trees would make collecting the water simpler," he said after a pause.

Rikku smacked his hand. "What kind of an idea is that? You'd have to kill the tree to get the water out, you know? Betcha the spirits wouldn't be very happy about it, either."

Auron withdrew his hand. "Harvesting the forest might save a few lives, but the people would grow greedy, and this land would die, I suppose."

_It'll die when we defeat Sin_ , she thought with a pang.

Still, there was no reason to disrupt the peace of the forest spirits by rushing the process.

Surrounded by glowing trees, they continued on and soon caught up with Jecht, who was standing at one of the forks in their path. He swung the mirror around until one of the branches sparkled; it led further upwards, ending at one of the largest glowing seed pods Rikku had ever seen. The familiar-looking sphere was surrounded by enormous crystalline thorns and seemed to absorb the surrounding light as they approached.

"Huh. That is one big damn tree," Jecht muttered, sounding impressed. "I don't see no shrine though." He climbed his way up the last of the path. "You sure this thing is workin' right, Blondie? 'Sides this mutant blitzball, this place don't look no different from—" Jecht froze.

The pod began to sparkle, a mote of light starting from its center and spreading outwards. It pulsed, and Jecht's mouth fell open.

"What is he doing?" Auron asked, a curl of almost-worry in his voice. He moved to touch Jecht.

"Shh," she whispered, yanking Auron's arm back. "This is the right place. He's already begun the ritual."

Auron's eyebrow went up. Other than Jecht's unnatural stillness and the strange radiance being emitted by the tree, everything was quiet around them, as if even the subtle hum of the crystals had silenced to watch the proceedings.

There was no change in the surroundings—no indication that anything beyond the norm was going on—before Jecht drew his sword and held it up. It floated from his grasp, as though caught in an invisible current, bobbing before the shrine.

"Yeah," Jecht said, seemingly apropos of nothing as he pulled out the Neptune Sigil and Crest. His shoulders tensed, and his fingers clenched around the symbols.

"This is the hard part," she stage-whispered to Auron, who looked confused—and irritated about it. "His visions should be starting soon."

"Visions?" Auron paused, a look of understanding passing over his face. "What do you think he's seeing?"

"The Mercury Sigil showed me my greatest hopes," she said. "And the Crest showed me my greatest fears."

_And I'd rather not revisit that, thank you very much. It was hard enough getting through it the first time._

She cleared her throat. "You have to accept both of them to get your weapon to accept you. I've never seen anyone fail, but I guess how long it takes depends on you."

As she spoke, the Neptune Sigil rose out of Jecht's outstretched hand before being sucked into the black sword in a brilliant flash of light. The Crest, however, remained stationary in Jecht's other hand; sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Perhaps he dreams of his family in his Zanarkand," Auron mused.

"Must be tough," she agreed, seeking out Auron's hand and clutching it. They stood vigil as Jecht struggled for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, the Crest pulsed and rose into the air as well.

Another flash of light struck the sword, and the original runes on it morphed, elongating into new red symbols. The sword, too, changed slightly, lightening to a gleaming silver at its tip, which faded into its previous light-absorbing black near the hilt.

Rikku tilted her head and squinted at the still-glowing runes on the weapon as it drifted its way back towards Jecht. They seemed to form a familiar, stylized image. Like fish? Or maybe whales…?

Reaching out, Jecht grabbed the handle, then dropped to one knee. Panting, he leaned his weight on the sword.

"Damn," he choked, blinking.

"Are you alright?" she called out, releasing Auron and skipping to Jecht's side.

She started to kneel when a low ring filled her ears, and Jecht's image grew fuzzy.

_What? What's going on?_

:: Have you the Celestial Weapon? ::

Rikku's head shot up, staring at the gigantic seed pod. Her vision tunneled as it seemed to unfold and absorb her; some part of her recognized the signs from when she'd initially awakened the Godhand.

_Why is this happening? My weapon's already awake!_

Mechanically, she reached for her claw and undid the straps holding it to her arm. It drifted away, swaying in the air before her.

:: What do you want? ::

If she could have blinked, she would have. It was the same question Bahamut had asked before bringing her to the past in the first place. She knew the question as intimately as she knew her answer.

_I want my own story_ , she began. But it wasn't just that anymore. It had changed somewhat, shifted without much notice as she'd traveled alongside the others. … _I want Auron_ — _the real one_ — _to be a part of my story._

:: What is real? ::

Two Aurons appeared in her mind: one young, fiery, and devoted. One old, weary, and restless. Two Jechts: one down-to-earth and loyal, the other distant and inhuman. Two Braskas: one emotional and driven, one a stone-faced statue. Two Keyakkus, one cold and calculating, the other doting and protective.

_No… I don't want to see this! Don't show me this!_

Now Yuna, sweet and innocent as a Summoner at seventeen, jaded and irreparably heartbroken as a Gunner at nineteen. Tidus, all smiles and optimism, and Shuyin, with his murderous glares.

The images kept coming, relentless and unforgiving.

A tendril of icy fear crept across Rikku. Was the shrine showing her a glimpse of the truth, or just a vision to mislead her? She didn't even understand why she was being challenged. Hadn't she already done this?

She wanted to shut her eyes and deny the assault. _This is real. Everything that's happened has to be real. Auron, Jecht, and Braska_ — _they're all real. Aren't they?_

:: Do your dreams still rule your existence? ::

A hot spike of anger overrode her confusion.

_They're not dreams! My Auron is not just a dream! This is real, and I won't let you fool me into doubting myself, or them!_

With her anger, strength blossomed. She opened her eyes and struck out, trying to drive away the images assaulting her. Her vision cleared; she was still half-crouched, staring up into the glowing shrine.

:: Then complete the ritual, and accept your own power. ::

Something in her mind shifted, and a sheen of light surrounded the Godhand, before it bobbed back towards her. She stumbled forward to catch it as gravity returned and the weapon fell.

Her eyes widened at the gleaming spikes and bright red varnish on the claw; the weapon had changed. It felt more powerful somehow—faster, more streamlined, as if it had been optimized when she hadn't even realized it needed a tuning in the first place. "What just happened?" She stumbled.

Jecht grabbed her other arm and righted her. "I was 'bout to ask the same thing," he said, still waxy and pale-faced. "You spaced out on us. Snapped outta it real quick, though—"

Rikku let out a squeak of surprise and Jecht flailed and struggled to keep a grip on his sword as they were hauled violently backwards.

Auron dragged them down the path, ignoring their protests until they were good distance away from the shrine. Releasing them, looked her over. "Rikku?" he asked, worry lining his voice.

"I'm okay," she managed, catching her breath and trying to slow her racing heart. "Better than Jecht, I think."

Jecht sat up from where he'd been tossed aside, rubbing his head and looking irate. "Thanks for carin', man."

"Remind me why I rescued you again," Auron deadpanned, shooting a glare over his shoulder.

"I'm fine, really," she cut in, poking Auron. "We weren't in any danger. The Celestial trial is always like that. I'm not sure why I had to go through another one, but I think it changed my weapon."

Jecht held his sword up, running his hand down the flat of the blade. "I know it changed mine."

Collecting her scattered thoughts, she pushed aside her confusion and focused on her slowly budding excitement. _I got a weapon upgrade! I wonder what my Godhand can do now? Ooh! I can't wait to test it!_

"This is great!" she cheered, scrambling to her feet with Auron's aid. "So, did your sword power up?"

"Yeah, I guess." Jecht sounded subdued. Frowning, some of her excitement dissipated as her eyes flitted to his face. The usual reaction during Yuna's Pilgrimage after powering up a weapon had always been one of satisfaction or glee. She had no idea why Jecht was being so contrary about the whole thing. _I wonder what he saw in his trial? It must've shaken him up pretty bad, if he's not boasting about this to Auron yet._

"You guess? You still have no idea how to handle your weapon, do you?" Auron asked with a heavy note of disapproval.

"It's got a name now," Jecht said. "I heard it when I was seein' things. It's the Fang. _Sin's_ Fang."

"... A strange name," Auron managed.

_Not so strange_ , she thought, Bayra's words to Jecht echoing in her ears.

"Yeah, not like I chose it myself anyhow," Jecht answered despondently, giving the sword an experimental whirl. His eyes widened. "Whoa!" The reluctance marring his face slid away as he whirled the sword around again. He crouched and shifted his weight, testing his weapon in various holds. "Holy shit! It really did change! Blondie, is this—?"

Smiling, she nodded. "Yeah, it's normal. That's the power of a Celestial Weapon. Congratulations! You'll have to show us what you can do with it now. Go easy on Auron, okay?"

Auron snorted. "Who should go easy on whom?"

Jecht's toothy smile was full of promise. "We'll see about that next spar." His grin dropped. "Say… what about you?"

"What about me?" Auron asked, dry as the Sanubia Sands.

"Umm… well, don'tcha want to present yourself to the shrine too?" she chimed in.

Auron recoiled. "And share in the excitement? No." He turned to escape down the path, but Rikku caught the flap of his coat and yanked him back.

"Hey, if we suffered, you should too," Jecht said.

Rikku pinched Jecht, then pulled Auron near. "That's not it. The shrine's trial isn't really a bad thing."

Jecht snorted.

Rikku ignored him. "It may seem tough to get through, but it always makes you stronger."

Auron eyed the shrine. "I have no Celestial Weapon to present. There's no point."

"Oh, come on!" She pouted. "Self-reflection! Personal growth! Think of it as… as… auto-meditation! Warrior-monking made easy!"

Auron gave her an incredulous look.

"What's the worst that could happen?" she continued softer, turning him towards the shrine and giving him a gentle push. "The spirits said you were allowed up here, so there must be a reason. You should find out. Who knows when you'll be able to come back again?"

"Hnn." He shot them both a dissatisfied glare, but walked up towards the glowing pod. He stopped a few paces away from it and stilled.

She squinted at his back, trying to determine if he was falling into the same trance she and Jecht had.

"Think anything's happenin' to him?" Jecht asked her after a few beats.

"I don't know," she whispered back. It was hard to tell; Auron had as much of a poker posture as he did a poker face. Without seeing his expression, she wasn't sure if he was communing with the shrine or simply growing annoyed at their insistence he stand before it.

After a few more moments, he turned around and marched back down towards them.

"…Well?" Jecht said expectantly.

"Hnn," Auron grunted again, offering nothing helpful. He gestured at the path back down. "Let's return. We should rejoin Braska as soon as possible." He took the lead, brushing past Rikku.

She scratched her head. "I still can't tell," she complained.

"He's one tough cookie. Maybe you can wheedle it outta him later," Jecht said with a shrug. He took another look at his sword, then grinned. "Or maybe I can beat an answer outta him with this thing."

"Don't rough up my boyfriend," she said, cracking her knuckles in the Godhand. "Otherwise, I might have to test out my new weapon too."

"Yeah, yeah. We know you're all talk," Jecht laughed, jogging after Auron.

She huffed, but spared the shrine one last look over her shoulder. _If there's no more shrine in the future, that means there's no more Celestial Weapons, either._ Her feet stilled, and she whirled around to face the seed pod.

"I'm… I'm sorry we couldn't save you," she said into the trees. She noted a few blue butterflies fluttering around the shrine, and thought of Bayra, Donga, and Pukutak.

The seed pod darkened completely, leaving her with only the soft light of the trees and the echo of the crystals.

Blinking, she ducked her head and hurried after the others, trying not to dwell on her part in helping destroy Macalania's forest of dreams.

**.x.x.x.**

Dinner was a simple but welcome respite from the day's exertions; gathering around the campfire to relax—for once—put most of the group in good cheer.

Braska was interrogating Auron for the details of their visit to the shrine. Auron, for his part, was still not giving away what, if anything, had happened to him. Rikku, munching on a skewer of meat, watched Braska try to coax the information out of Auron, who stubbornly resisted all attempts by responding with grunts whenever possible.

She stifled a giggle and glanced over at Jecht, who remained silent. It was odd for Jecht to let a good mood pass him by, but he was lost to them, staring at the Fang which lay across his knees. Rather than joining Braska in heckling Auron, he was stroking his fingers over the red symbol on the blade.

"Hey, Jecht?"

He looked up at her, startled. " 'Sup?"

"You feeling okay?" She tilted her head towards Auron and Braska, who had also fallen silent—clearly, she wasn't the only one who'd taken note of Jecht's reticence. "Normally you'd be the first one to join the dogpile if Braska gave Auron a hard time. Still worried about whatever you saw at the shrine?"

Jecht's fingers drummed across the blade, glancing over each of them before answering. "Yeah. Just… thinkin' 'bout my Zanarkand. Maybe I'm homesick."

It was Auron who surprisingly broke the subsequent silence with, "I'm sure we can find a way to get you back. It's no less improbable than anything else we've done so far."

Jecht barked out a laugh, although the humor didn't meet his eyes. "Aww, so ya really _do_ know how to care!"

Auron folded his arms and leaned back, expression scornful. "Why do I bother offering a hand to a rabid dog…?"

Jecht shrugged, but his pall of contemplation seemed to have lessened. "Naw, thanks, man. I mean it. 'S just… dunno if I'd wanna go even if we found a way back, see. If I'm just some dream, don't that mean goin' back is like fallin' asleep again?" He tapped his weapon. "Lookit this thing. It ain't even the same sword anymore, now that it's all woken up. Maybe I'm like that, too."

_Oh, Jecht._ Rikku bit her lip, the weight of her secrets seeming to increase every time she had the chance to say something but didn't. Would Jecht be homesick if he knew what his future held?

"That's an excellent way to think of it," Braska agreed. "Perhaps your presence here in Spira is evoking a positive change in yourself. It certainly has improved our merry band, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Jecht said. His fingers traced the runes. "Say, Auron…"

Auron shifted, still looking annoyed. "What?"

"Can I ask you to do somethin' for me?"

"That depends on what you're asking."

"If you ever meet my boy, Tidus, will you give him a few pointers? Yanno, the way you did for me. Teach him to use a sword, yeah?"

Auron's face went slack with so much surprise Rikku found herself fumbling for a recording sphere to preserve the moment. His expression recovered before she could snap a picture, and she pouted, dropping the sphere into her lap. _Just in case_ , she thought, waiting expectantly and watching Auron like a hawk.

Braska met her gaze and hid his grin behind the voluminous sleeve of his robe.

"What in Yevon's name—no," Auron said. " _No,_ " he repeated more emphatically, perhaps thinking of his time as a somewhat-unwilling surrogate parent to Yuna. "You're his father. There's nothing to stop you from teaching him yourself."

"See, that's the thing," Jecht said, growing animated. "I been thinkin'. I wanna bring my boy over here. I'll find a way, I know I will. But what if somethin' happens to me? There ain't no guarantees in Spira." He leveled a finger at Auron. "You're the most dependable person here, you know it. And with Blondie there next to ya now, I'm bettin' you'll still have a reason to be around after Braska's… done doin' what he has to."

Auron tensed and Braska shifted uncomfortably. As the mood nosedived, she tucked the unused sphere away and fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

Jecht forged on. "So that's why I'm askin' ya now. If you ever meet my son, I want ya to let him know his old man was lookin' out for him." Then, quieter, "I was tryin' to, at least."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Auron sighed loudly. "That's making the assumption that you won't be around after the Pilgrimage is finished, either. Don't. Just _don't._ "

"C'mon, man. I'm countin' on you. Whaddaya want me to do, ask _Blondie_ to be his role model?"

"Hey!"

Jecht smirked at her tightly and turned back to Auron. "It's you or the Hypellos," he repeated. "Don't know anybody else here. Don't leave me hangin'!"

Lowering his hand, Auron pinned Jecht under an intense glare. "Fine, if just to shut you up."

"You'll do it?"

"This is a ridiculous idea, but if I ever meet your son, I will teach him to use a sword, just as I taught you. Satisfied?"

"Almost," Jecht said, grinning and clapping Auron on the shoulder. "Thanks, buddy."

He turned to face her, his smile dropping. "I got somethin' to ask you too, Blondie. But…" He looked around at their campsite. "Not right here. No offense, Braska, but this is for my boy."

"Hmm," Braska said. "It's quite all right. You're thinking of your future and your family. Take all the time you need."

Auron sighed again, then nodded. "Don't stay out for long. We're breaking camp early tomorrow." Though his words were gruff, Rikku felt his warm gaze trailing after her as she got up and followed Jecht away from the camp.

"So what's up?" she asked. "Do you need me to help look for something out here?"

"Naw," Jecht said, distracted. "Wait a sec." Boxing his fingers together, he cast a Scan and turned slowly, before stopping and grinning again. "Hah! Found a good spot. This is perfect!" He hurried forward.

She looked around when they arrived at Jecht's goal; he'd led her to a clearing with a small, shallow pool of water surrounded by dense forest. A tree rose out of the center of the pool with a few crystalline formations creating a small waterfall behind it. With the help of all the moving water, the light refracting around the clearing was almost unnaturally bright.

"It's pretty here!" she said, clapping her hands. "But what are we looking for?"

"We ain't lookin' for nothin'," Jecht said, settling down in front of the pool and crossing his ankles. "I got a favor to ask you."

"Okay." She crouched and wrapped her hands around her knees. "Must be something serious."

"Sorta. I wanna keep makin' these movies for Tidus. Fact, I wanna do another one right now." He paused, looking uncomfortable. "Think you an' Auron can pass 'em along to him? After? Y'know… in case somethin' happens to me. I want…" He trailed off, looking uncertain. "I want him to know. About Spira. About bein' real. I want him to _feel_ this."

_Oh, Tidus._

"Sure thing," she said, choking back a wave of sympathy. "We're starting to run kinda low on spheres, though… I guess we should've restocked in Besaid." She pulled out the one from earlier and checked it. "I think this one has a little something on it from before, but there's still lots of room left. Wanna use it anyway?"

"It's good enough," Jecht said, snatching the sphere from her grasp and turning it on. He placed it on the ground and settled back, trying—and failing—to look nonchalant.

He cleared his throat and shifted, testing out a few different poses. One of his legs pulled up and the other one hit the ground as he rested an arm on his bent knee. Then he lay down, propping up his head on one arm. A few seconds passed before he growled in annoyance and sat up again, planting both hands on his thighs.

Rikku watched him squirm and contort for a few more moments, then reached over and shut the sphere down. "We don't have _that_ much empty space on it," she chided. "Or were you gonna start speaking sometime this year?"

"Alright already!" Jecht huffed. "I'm a little nervous this time! Can ya cut all that other crap out? I wanna look cool. You know, professional."

"Why?" she sniggered, even as she set about editing the recording. "You think Tidus wouldn't want to see how dorky you're being right now?"

" 'ey, _smooth_ is my middle name."

"Sure thing," she hummed, unconvinced. Finishing with her tinkering, she placed the sphere back on the ground.

Jecht cleared his throat again and sat forward, draping his elbows on his knees. "I'm ready now."

Nodding, she reached down. The sphere hummed to life. "And… action!"

Jecht sucked in a deep breath, thinking for a moment. She rolled her eyes and let her finger hover over the stop button, but he started speaking before she could press it.

" 'ey," he said, uncharacteristically solemn. "If you're sittin' there, watching this… it means you're stuck in Spira, just like me."

Rikku's smile faded. _I know this one_ , she realized. _I really did end up giving this message to Tidus_. She watched as Jecht sounded out what she realized the sphere recording really was: his final goodbye to his son, and tried to ignore the shivers running down her spine.

_No matter what I do, nothing changes. Everything is happening just like I remember it. I thought… maybe, after we passed through Macalania the first time and he didn't create this, maybe then… maybe it'd be different. But… but now…!_

"You might not know when you'll get back home, but you better not be cryin'!" he rallied. Then he wilted a little. "Although, I guess I'd understand."

He looked down at his hands, and she took a wild guess that his sudden urgency to create this particular sphere had been spurred by the visions he'd received at the shrine. _Maybe Jecht's biggest fear is never seeing his family again_.

Jecht sat up, his face hardening. "But, you know what? There's a time when you have to stop cryin' and move on. You'll be fine."

She wondered if he was saying it just for Tidus' benefit, or also to convince himself. He pulled himself together and smiled confidently at the camera.

"Remember, you're my son. And…" He trailed off, uncomfortable.

_Tell him you love him!_ she insisted silently.

"Well, uh…"

_Tell him you're proud of him!_

A look of panic crossed his face as he rubbed the back of his neck. She scrunched her brows together, gesturing for him to continue, and Jecht flushed red.

"Never mind," he growled. "I'm no good at these things." He shot to his feet and stomped over, turning the sphere off himself. "You can stop laughin' now. Go on, yuk it up and get it outta your system."

"Why would I laugh?" She threw her hands up. "You were doing so well! I thought it was nice," she admitted. "But why'd you choke at the end?"

Jecht turned red again and crossed his arms, glaring at nothing in particular. "I can't say it, man. Sure, he's my son, but I don't go around moonin' over my feels like you an' Auron do. It ain't _manly_!"

She pursed her lips, vaguely annoyed at his assessment of herself and Auron, wrapped up with his backwater ideas about how _manly men_ conducted themselves in general. "I know you have a reputation to protect, but _really?_ You have to posture in front of your own son? C'mon, he's just a little kid!"

He couldn't meet her eyes. "Never was the touchy-feely type."

Rikku sighed and stood up. "This has nothing to do with being _manly_ or _touchy-feely_ , you big dummy. Tidus is your son. Maybe he _needs_ to hear how you really feel sometimes."

Jecht kicked the water. "I'm _tryin'!_ "

"Well, try harder!" she scolded. "You're the one who told me to say what you mean when it's important. Otherwise, it'll be Tidus filling the blanks in his head with things that aren't true." She shoved his own advice back at him along with the sphere. "I'm going back to camp before your sphere overflows from that testosterone. Just think about it, okay? It's fine if you're too embarrassed to do it in front of me, but don't hold back for your own son. He deserves that much from you."

She made her way towards the forest path, stopping when she heard the telltale sound of the recording sphere being activated. Jecht's voice was so quiet she had to strain to hear him.

"Anyways... " he mumbled. "I believe in you. Be good. Goodbye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sin's Fang is the official name of Jecht's best sword in Dissidia.
> 
> Rikku's Godhand changed because it adjusted to reflect her changing goals. She's a different person as an experienced adventurer of twenty than she was as a green Guardian of fifteen. Her weapon changed to reflect her mindset. I'm not sure there's ever going to be a need to explicitly mention Celestial weapon abilities in the fiction, so here they are as a footnote:
> 
> Sin's Fang: Break Damage Limit, Triple Overdrive, Piercing, Counterattack  
> Godhand (old): Break Damage Limit, Triple Overdrive, Double AP, Gillionaire  
> Godhand (new): Break Damage Limit, First Strike, Evade & Counter, Magic Counter
> 
> And yes, Auron trolled Jecht. Did you catch it? ;-) Happy Holidays everyone!


	54. Sword Saint

As soon as the dense crystal woods of Macalania had given way to the rocks and moss of the path towards the Calm Lands, Jecht had challenged Auron to a spar.

"You're goin' down." Jecht bounced on the balls of his feet, grin competitive.

Auron's expression was glacial. Silent, he pointedly turned his blade, blunt side facing up.

Quite a distance away, Rikku readied her bag of mixed nuts, popping one into her mouth and munching on it. Braska sat beside her and waved off the pouch when she offered, his attention instead focused on Jecht and Auron.

"Who do you believe will win this time?" Braska asked as the pair began to circle each other in the small, dirt-strewn clearing.

She shifted, trying to find a comfortable spot against the tree they were both leaning against. "Auron's going to wipe the floor with him, like always. The only gamble is how long it'll take."

"You're not concerned at all? Fighting against a Celestial Weapon seems foolhardy. Even if it _is_ Jecht's." Braska fingered his staff, tense. "Sin's Fang should be significantly more powerful than Auron's blade and has no blunt side. What if he catches Auron off guard?"

"Jecht needs to learn how to control his super-sword," she protested. "It's better if he practices with a friend instead of making a mistake in front of an enemy, right?"

"Hmm," Braska said, clearly unconvinced as he glanced her way.

"Besides," she continued. "Auron's got his armor on. And you're here, right?" She winked at him. "You saved me, after all. If anything happens, helping Auron recover should be a piece of cake."

An uncomfortable look passed over Braska's face.

She smirked—revenge could be sweet, sometimes.

He cleared his throat, suddenly unable to meet her gaze. "Well then. Shall we make a small wager?"

Side-eyeing Braska, she leaned away from him. "I'm not kissing you if Auron loses. Give it up."

"Fine." Chuckling, he raised a hand in defeat. "...Although I do think having the use of your Garment Grid for an entire day would be an acceptable compromise."

"No way," she blurted. The last time he'd used it, he'd just hit on her even _more_ , something she hadn't thought possible.

"Are you worried about Auron's chances after all?"

Her brow twitched. "How's this: _when_ Auron wins, you and Jecht have to catch dinner for the rest of the week."

Braska shrugged. "We already split the duties. That hardly seems a sporting prize."

"Then…" She tapped her chin, then snapped her fingers. "You guys do the hunting for an _entire_ week, starting tomorrow. _And_ you have to pretend to be incompetent enough to keep Jecht from coming back to camp for at _least_ two hours."

Braska's smile dropped. "Are you two really that starved for affection—"

A sharp clang sounded, cutting off his words. She glanced over in time to see Auron and Jecht springing back from one another. Eager to watch the fight, she hurriedly shoved her hand towards Braska's face. "Deal?"

He leaned back, nearly going cross-eyed in an attempt to track her hand. As the ring of clashing metal whined behind them, his gaze lit up in challenge. He clasped her hand and gave it a perfunctory shake. "Deal."

They were both invested now, and he made no argument when she released him to turn her attention to the spar.

Auron leaned forward, holding his sword steady and advancing towards Jecht like a predator, his steps slow and controlled. Jecht scooted back, light on his feet. Before he could be pushed to the edge of the clearing, he lunged forward, attacking with two quick slashes which Auron deftly blocked. They backed away and resumed circling each other.

"Look," Braska said, gaze sharp. "I told you it would be difficult for Auron this time."

"Difficult? He totally blocked it!"

"Just barely."

She stared at the pair, looking for whatever Braska _thought_ he was seeing—

Auron's sword was quivering. _Huh?_ She followed the sword to his grip, and her eyes widened. It wasn't his sword that was moving; it was his _arms_. They were shaking—only slightly, but enough for Braska to catch it. _Just how hard did Jecht hit?_

"The power of a Celestial Weapon must be mighty indeed," Braska noted. "I've never seen Auron falter from a parry before."

Huffing, Rikku crossed her arms. "Auron's blade isn't half bad either!" She'd crafted the Ashura herself during their trip on the Love Boat; so what if it wasn't Celestial? It could still kick ass in the right hands. "He's gonna win. You'll see."

Auron's expression gave nothing away; instead, he twirled his sword once, shaking his arm out, then sunk into a low battle stance. Inching towards Jecht again, he held the blade steady in both hands and looked almost relaxed.

Jecht mirrored his pose, waiting. For a few moments the men stood, appraising each other, before Jecht hefted his sword; Auron tracked him with his weapon and Jecht faltered, stopping midway through the motion.

With a grimace, Jecht stepped back, seeming to find no opening in the other man's defense.

"Jecht's improved," Rikku conceded, watching him abort another attack. "He wouldn't have waited before… he'd just rush in and Auron would send him flying. He's gotten more cautious."

Jecht finally followed through on a quick feint, forcing Auron to evade the blow.

"What, you actually scared of this thing?" Jecht called out, some of his confidence clearly returning as the tense line of his shoulders relaxed a bit. He made a few wild thrusts, testing Auron as the other man strove to dodge rather than block the hits.

Auron's mouth tightened and he planted his feet, stopping Jecht's advance and stabbing out with the Ashura in challenge. The two swords met, and Auron caught Jecht's blade in a defensive twist that deflected the Fang.

Jecht, however, only grinned and surged forward. "Gotcha!" he shouted as his fist hit Auron's jaw with an audible crack.

Auron reeled backwards, off-balance while Jecht jumped into a spinning kick; his foot smashed into Auron's side and pushed him even farther away.

"Hey! That's cheating!" Rikku sputtered, clenching her fists.

"There are no rules in a real battle," Braska reminded her. "Jecht is merely capitalizing on his own advantages—he's faster and larger than Auron… and very good at brawling."

Auron regained his balance and struck out—not gracefully by any means, but enough to force Jecht to skip away from the blade's reach. He struck again.

Jecht used the Fang to block Auron's swing.

This time, Auron didn't try to match and hold Jecht; he slid forward out of the block and attempted to use the momentum to smash the other man with the pommel of his sword. Jecht was quick enough to dodge the strike, leaning to the side while directing another quick hit towards Auron's stomach.

The two men separated, panting.

"Yield?" Jecht called out, swinging his sword over his back in a mocking parody of Auron.

Auron scowled. "We'll go again."

Braska shook his head. "Jecht prevailed in that round and had Auron on the defensive." His faint smile oozed satisfaction. "So, when will your belt be available for my use?"

"It's not over yet," Rikku said stubbornly, watching Auron wipe his jaw and spit.

Auron nodded at Jecht, lifting his sword again and resuming his slow pacing.

"We shall see," Braska said in response.

_Ohh! Just you wait, Braska. Auron'll show you who's boss!_

As if able to hear her thoughts, Auron struck; without warning, he flicked the Ashura out, aiming the tip at Jecht's face. Jecht nearly missed his parry, clumsily bringing Auron's sword down with brute force and trying to rush in close again. Auron turned his own sword upwards, unexpectedly baring the sharp edge of his blade—which forced Jecht to abort his attempted punch, and instead stumble past while arching backwards to avoid being sliced.

Jecht wheeled to a stop a few paces away, wincing. "Ya nearly cut me, asshole!"

"That trick won't work twice. Besides, I thought you wanted to show me the power of that sword, not your fists."

Jecht scowled, holding the Fang up in a high guard. "Fine. You want it so bad? We can play it hard." He charged; Auron didn't move, steady as a rock.

Even if Auron's nerves were made of steel, her own weren't, and Rikku squeaked as their blades neared one another. Auron simply crouched beneath Jecht's stab and swung his own weapon up, stopping the tip a hair's breadth away from the other man's neck.

Jecht froze, gulping, and Rikku's heart dropped out of her throat.

Auron raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yield," Jecht said. Auron relented and lowered his sword. "This was more fun when you weren't usin' the business end of that thing."

Sighing in relief, Rikku stretched her arms over her head, letting Braska bathe in _her_ smugness. "Jecht's sword might be stronger, but Auron knows how to _use_ his."

Braska rolled his eyes, probably swallowing a lewd joke. "Still, if Jecht managed to land a serious blow, it would be fatal for Auron. _That_ is the power of his weapon."

"That's probably why Auron's not letting him land any hits," she said. She smiled, sending Auron a thumbs-up when he glanced their way. _I wonder if I had anything to do with his new strategy?_ It was, after all, pretty much the only technique she ever used when she fought: do anything to avoid getting hit!

Of course, Auron did so with _grace_ whereas she looked like a drunken monkey.

"Fascinating," Braska said.

"What?"

He smiled wistfully, shaking his head. "You believe in him completely, even without a Celestial Weapon. You would defy heaven's mandate and put your faith in a mere mortal warrior?"

She scoffed. "What mandate? Having a fancy weapon doesn't automatically mean you win! Celestial Weapons only amplify what you already are. Mine didn't make me a better fighter either, you know?"

"You stood against Anima with it."

"And lost," she reminded him, incredulous. "Leaving things up to _fate_ isn't all it's cracked up to be. You still need to work for your victories if you want to have any." Her smile suddenly felt brittle; the words may have come off flippantly, but they still hit a little too close to home.

Braska must have sensed the sudden dip in her mood, because he eased away from her, his playful smirk transforming into something more somber. "True, I suppose." He tapped his lip, expression thoughtful. "But having a stronger weapon than your opponent lends some advantage, no matter what you believe."

She dug into her snack pouch and popped a nut into her mouth, chewing slowly. When she felt composed enough to answer, she swallowed and forced a smile that felt more genuine than she'd hoped. "Sure, but Auron doesn't need a stronger sword." Her gaze was drawn inexorably back to Auron as he shifted his stance and faced Jecht again. "He _is_ the sword."

Jecht was the first to attack, springing forward with a quick thrust. Auron twisted out of the way, dodging instead of blocking, and thrust his blade towards Jecht's head.

Jecht's eyes widened and he swore as he desperately moved to cover his face, his sword meeting and locking with Auron's.

Auron bore down on both swords, the muscles in his arms straining.

Jecht seemed to be searching for an opening, but the awkward tilt of his wrist against the Fang's hilt made it impossible for him to find leverage.

With a grunt, Auron forced their blades towards the ground and then leaned his full weight onto the Fang with one knee, trapping Jecht's hands under the hilt of his own sword. There was an audible crunch.

Rikku heard Braska suck in his breath at the same time she did. "Ooh, that must've hurt."

With the Fang immobilized under his knee, Auron freed his own sword and feinted with his pommel towards Jecht's head.

"Yield! Shit! _Yield!_ " Jecht shouted before Auron could club him. "Alright, alright, you win!" He wilted when Auron lowered his sword. "Sin's wrinkled ass! Ya broke my fingers!" he hissed, shaking out his hands after Auron stepped away.

"Sorry," Auron said in a tone that was all but apologetic.

"Yeah, yeah. How're your teeth doin', huh?" Jecht shot back as he collected his sword gingerly, wincing.

Rubbing his jaw, Auron grunted. "You could say we're even now."

"Naw," Jecht said, shoulders drooping. "Once I stopped tryin' to clock ya, you kicked my ass. I gotta practice more." Then, he let out a self-deprecating laugh. "You may win every time, but I still ain't used to losin'."

Auron held out a hand, then helped him to his feet. "You did better than I expected, and your sword is a fine weapon. If we met on a battlefield, I wouldn't take you lightly."

"You wouldn't take me at all," Jecht scoffed, cracking his neck. "I'm fast enough to get away from monsters like you." The defeated grin he was wearing belied his words, though; even Auron seemed to understand that his pride was running on fumes.

"He didn't really do that badly," Braska said, watching Jecht with concern.

"You're right, but it's good for his ego to lose once in a while," she said, confident that Jecht would bounce back from his latest defeat just as quickly as the last time. "Before you know it, he'll be heckling Auron for another duel, you'll see. And then Auron'll beat him _again_. Think of it as their male bonding time."

"Hnn," Auron said, clapping Jecht on the back. "You certainly are faster. You just need to train using that speed with your sword rather than your fists."

"Bonding," Braska replied thoughtfully as he looked on.

Leaving Jecht behind, Auron approached them, wiping some sweat from his brow.

"Enjoy your quality time with Jecht next week," Rikku murmured to Braska, chuckling as she rose to meet Auron. Skipping the last few feet between them, she threw herself at Auron and planted a messy kiss on his lips. His arms wrapped around her waist and she felt him smile; he lifted her up and gave her a _proper_ greeting.

"Do you two gotta swap spit right in front of me?" Jecht groaned as he shambled past.

She slid to the ground with a grin. "Not always," she hummed.

Braska sighed pointedly and left toward camp, shoulders slumped.

She smiled up at Auron, hands latched behind his neck. "That was intense!"

Auron pried her off gently and smiled, tired; it didn't reach his eyes. "Hnn." He shrugged off his coat and followed Braska, tossing his things by their bedrolls before grabbing his bottle for a long draught of water.

She watched him, confused. _What? Why'd he pull away?_

He finished drinking and, after a moment's contemplation, snatched up his sword and stomped back towards the clearing where he'd just sparred with Jecht, sullen.

" 'Sup with him?" Jecht asked, coming near as he toweled sweat off his neck with one hand; the other was limp at his side, fingers beginning to swell. "He won, didn't he? You say somethin' to him?"

Rikku crossed her arms, pouting. "I didn't do anything! _You're_ the one who punched him."

"That was a lucky shot," Jecht grumbled. "But y'know, he's been actin' real crabby lately. I thought fightin' me might get it outta his system, but… "

She considered his words; Auron's prickly attitude just now was the latest in his admittedly withdrawn behavior ever since they'd left the crystalline forest. "I know," she said, deflating. "He's been like this ever since we got back from the shrine."

They both stood there in silence, and Rikku knew Jecht was thinking the same thing: _He saw something up there._

_But what could be so bad to make him act like this?_

Well, she _had_ called it their male bonding time, and Jecht was right there. As dejected as he might feel about losing to Auron—even with his brand new toy—she knew he still cared about his friend's well-being.

_And friends don't let other friends stew in their own juices, right?_

"So…" she said. "About Auron's temper…"

"Woah, don't put this on me!" Jecht blurted. "You're his girl!"

"You're his bro," she retorted. "Bros before hoes!"

" 'ey, I just punched him!" Jecht reminded her, mopping away more sweat. "You do the askin'."

Rikku bit her lip. "Fine. He did almost take your head, so you can have a break. I'm gonna try talking to him. Run interference on Braska for me, will you?"

"On it," Jecht agreed, shoving her forward with an elbow. "Go on, straighten him out. I'm rootin' for ya." He raised his voice. "Hey, B! Need some help here. My fingers are killin' me!"

Braska startled and strode over quickly, brandishing his staff. "Which ones?"

Rikku rolled her eyes as Jecht smirked and flipped his middle finger out towards Braska. "Think it was this one." He made a show of looking confused, then held up his other hand and doubled down on the gesture. "Or maybe this one. Why don'tcha take a closer look and find out."

"…Doesn't that hurt?" she asked, noticing the lines of pain creasing Jecht's mouth.

"Totally worth it," Jecht smirked.

"Is it now?" Braska asked, lowering his staff from its casting position. "In that case—"

"Naw, B, I'm kidding—"

"I think I'll make my exit before Braska breaks the rest of your fingers," she said, scampering after Auron and stifling a snicker when she heard Jecht yelp in pain behind her.

Her feet slowed as she neared Auron, who'd planted his sword into the center of the impromptu sparring ring and was staring at it morosely. _What's he doing? Is this some kind of warrior-monk meditation technique?_ If it was, it was a terrible one; he didn't look particularly relaxed or calm. "Hey," she said cautiously, reaching to touch his arm. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing."

 _Oh, no you don't_. Sliding between him and his sword, she put her fists on her hips and glared. "It's not _nothing_. Spill the beans!"

Auron looked over his shoulder at Braska and Jecht, still near enough to hear their argument—and vice versa. "Not here," he said quietly, reaching around her to grab his sword.

"Hey guys!" she yelled, raising her voice and smirking at Auron's look of annoyance. "We're just gonna go clean up. Don't follow us!"

Braska made a face. "You can't even wait until tomorrow—" he started, but Jecht pulled him down into a headlock and gave her a thumbs-up.

Auron palmed his face. "Did the concept of discretion completely pass you people by?" He motioned for her to follow.

She saluted Jecht and Braska, then trailed after Auron, feeling a little apprehensive. Something was upsetting him enough to make him sulk, and she couldn't get a read on what it was. After all they'd been through, it was a little unsettling to find that he could still have his own secrets, too.

The irony wasn't lost on her.

They walked until the camp was out of sight, stopping by a small stream of water. Auron walked to the water's edge and unbuckled his chestplate, letting it fall to the mossy ground. He sent her an austere look. "I hope you realize I'm not in the mood for any games right now."

"I know," Rikku mumbled, kicking the dirt. "I'm not gonna jump you out here. I just thought you looked upset and maybe needed some space."

Auron said nothing, kneeling by the stream and rinsing his hands in the water.

 _Might as well go for it._ "Auron… what did you see at the shrine?"

His hands stilled. "Nothing," he said after a moment.

"You're a sucky liar."

He huffed, but kept his face turned from her. "Nothing worth mentioning." Carefully, he cupped some of the water in his hands and brought it to his jaw with a grimace; his skin was darkening into a mottled shade of red where Jecht had struck him.

"You should've asked Braska to heal that first," she tsked.

"I'll handle it," he replied. Muttering, he traced his fingers over the bruise. A spark of curative magic flared to life under his fingertips, fading the discoloration.

"And your side, too," she added, prodding his ribs with her toe and nodding sagely at the resulting hiss of pain. "Jecht got you good. Don't grin and bear it if you can heal it!"

"I can decide what I'm capable of bearing," he grit out, though he did pass his hand over his side too.

"Why won't you just say it?" She crossed her arms and frowned when he didn't answer right away; it felt like he was trying to distance himself from her again. "Hey, c'mon! Aren't we supposed to be a team?" His lack of answer made her flush, first in disappointment, but then in anger. _It's way too late for you to back out now, buster!_ "I can't help you work through whatever _this_ is unless you talk to me."

Grunting, Auron stood and reached for his sword, stepping away from her. "There's nothing to _work through_. Jecht bested me. I need to practice. That's all."

 _You still won_ , she thought, but swallowed it down at the stubborn look on his face. Backing away, she hauled herself onto the branch of a nearby tree and made herself comfortable, not bothering to mask her exasperation. "Practice away then. I'm not going anywhere."

"…Fine. Suit yourself," Auron grumbled, straightening and holding his sword to his side with its point facing down.

Though annoyed at his dismissal, she found her irritation ebbing away as she was drawn into his moves.

He thrust his arm out, fingers held tightly together. His palm turned up as he swept his arm across his chest, the move a strange mix between meditation and martial arts. His fingers separated as he brought his hand low to grasp the hilt of the Ashura.

He drew it in an explosive whirlwind of motion, leaping into a spin before landing, knees bent and legs spread wide. The heavy sword was balanced in one hand, its weight resting on his back shoulder while his free arm remained outstretched, up in guard—or perhaps a promise—for his invisible opponent. He paused, focusing.

She was fascinated by the way he could control his every movement so perfectly. Her own fighting style was chaotic, to say the least; self-taught and reliant mostly on improvisation and speed. His strict, regimented motions were almost the exact opposite of hers—at least unless she was donning the Samurai sphere. It was clear he'd trained hard to achieve that level of mastery.

 _Maybe that's why we work so well together as a team when we fight_ , she thought with satisfaction.

Gripping the hilt with both hands, Auron swung the sword around in a wide arc. The weapon stopped perilously close to his neck, and he relaxed, balancing it on the opposite shoulder. Crouching low, he bent back, as if dodging an attack while sweeping his sword out in a one-handed slash that made the muscles of his arm bulge from the effort.

Rikku swallowed, her mouth going dry; she _knew_ how much that sword weighed; she'd _made_ it. Even with the strength enhancement she'd tooled in, she could barely swing it. Auron managed to control the blade as though it was one of her daggers, stopping it with uncanny precision.

He leapt up in another show of raw power, quads straining, and transformed the movement into a downwards slice, followed immediately by a quick block and a feint to his side. He gouged tracks into the moss with his feet as he slid backwards from the force of the motion; then he dug his heels in. Forcing his slide to an abrupt stop, he pushed off of the ground.

She wiped drool off her lip. _Not the time. Be supportive now, lust after him later!_

His entire body launched into the air, one leg outstretched in a roundhouse kick, whipping the sword overhead in a one-handed grip. He barely touched the ground before he was airborne again, legs scissoring and his entire body twisting for momentum as his sword made a gleaming arc above his head. He landed heavily, carrying the force of the spin through in his strike, though he stopped the blade inches away from actually hitting the ground.

Abruptly shifting his weight to his front leg, he struck out with the weapon as though it were a spear, pausing with both arms fully extended as the blade quivered.

Straightening, he twirled the sword around to one hand to rest at his side, its tip facing the ground. He exhaled heavily, then looked up into the tree at the sound of Rikku's claps.

"I didn't know you could do that," she said, sliding off her branch. "You know, all the jumping and kicking and stuff while holding your sword. You can be just as flexible as Jecht when you try."

"But not nearly as spontaneous," Auron replied, walking over to join her and carefully putting his sword aside. "Besides, this was merely practicing forms. Real battles aren't performance stages. I fight to win."

"I dunno," she hummed, settling herself on the ground. She patted her lap invitingly. "You're the best swordsman I've ever seen. I always think it looks like you're dancing when you fight. Are all warrior-monks that good or is it just your thing?"

He chuckled, slumping to the ground and resting his head against her legs. "I preferred training to politics. As it turned out, I had to train quite often in order to avoid them. And I wasn't entirely successful in the end."

"You shot yourself in the foot, you know," she mused, unwinding the tie on his hair. "You got too good and they couldn't ignore you anymore."

"Hnn," Auron agreed, his eyes fluttering shut.

She carded her fingers through the sweat-soaked strands, eliciting a contented sigh. "You're amazing, you know," she murmured. "I'm glad you're with me."

Some of the tension she'd managed to draw out of him returned.

 _Bingo._ _So, it's about me, huh?_ She forced her fingers to slow and coax him into speaking.

"I know what you're doing," he rumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

"Is it working?" she asked, hopeful.

"...Yes," he muttered with token resistance. Sighing, he reached up and caught her fingers, stopping her ministrations. His eyes cracked open, dark and serious. "I was wrong," he said, then stopped.

"Mmkay," she said as the silence stretched. "For what now, though?"

Auron's fingers laced through hers. "The shrine showed me a vision of the future."

This time, Rikku tensed, but Auron kept his eyes on her and tightened his grip around her hand. "I don't know if it was real. You said it showed you your greatest fear _and_ your greatest desire." He paused. "But, I only had one vision."

"Which one did it show you?" she asked, pulse thundering.

"They were one and the same," he replied. "I saw you."

 _What's that mean?_ Swallowing, she forced a tiny smile to her face and tried to act casual. "How'd I look?"

"Happy," he said. "You were surrounded by family."

Rikku blinked. "My family? Like, Cid, Keyakku, and Brother? Was I five?"

" _Our_ family," Auron corrected her, his fingers squeezing hers. "And no, you were not five. We were living in Besaid. You, and I, and our children. I… was happy, too." He sounded surprised. "I didn't think I would be happy."

"You don't want kids," she said, feeling her hammering heart slow down, although only slightly. The blind panic that he'd caught a glimpse of Yuna's Pilgrimage faded, only to be replaced by a growing sense of confusion. "You made it sound like your worst nightmare, really."

He looked away from her. "I don't want to become a father. Braska and Jecht are fathers. I can't be like them."

Rikku scrunched her brows together. "I think it's different for everyone, though? It's not like you'd have to follow in their footsteps. How would you know until you tried, anyway? I bet you'd figure it out."

"I couldn't abandon my children," he said suddenly. "Not the way they did. Purposefully or by accident. It would kill me." He swallowed. "I don't shirk my duties, but this... this makes me afraid. I grew up alone. I couldn't wish my childhood on anyone. Especially not to my own children. I couldn't make another _me_."

"Who said they'd be alone? I'm a part of this too!" She extracted her hand from his and worked her fingers through his hair once more, soothing him. "Besides, you wouldn't leave," she said confidently. "Not unless you had a good reason to."

"You can't be certain," he said. "Not in this world. Not with Sin. But…" he trailed off and returned his gaze to hers. "It was strange. It was the first time it felt like family to me."

"Braska and Yuna—"

"No," he cut her off. "Not a stray intruding onto someone else's hearth looking for scraps. This was _mine_." He caught her fingers and pulled her down towards him. " _My_ family. _Mine alone._ " He reached up and pressed his mouth against hers, warm and insistent, as though he was trying to send himself into the future he'd seen through the touch of their lips.

When he drew back, he brushed a stray braid away from her face, his expression pained. "I want to believe in it. More than anything. More than defeating Sin. I have never wanted anything so much as this."

Rikku bent down and touched her forehead to his. "You're scared," she said softly.

"I am," he admitted.

"Then let's be scared together, 'cause you're never getting rid of me now." She smiled at the open, fragile expression on his face, tracing a finger down his cheek. "I don't mind being your dream, you know. It's kinda flattering." _Besides… you were mine first._

"I don't want you to be my dream," he countered, echoing her thoughts at the shrine. He sat up and pulled her flush against him. "I want you to be my future."

Rikku shrugged off the frission of unease that lanced through her at his words. _He wants the same thing I did:_ _ **our**_ _ideal future, not the one we actually got_. Did he even realize what he was asking her to do, by placing his secret hope into her hands?

 _I've always wanted you to be my future. Bahamut gave me my own story, but I'm not sure he actually granted me my dream._ She smiled, trying to banish the dark thoughts swirling through her mind before Auron picked up on her discomfort; he was dealing with enough already. _And who says_ _ **our**_ _future can't be the real one? Why can't they be the same?_

"I like your dream," she whispered, focusing on Auron. "But I see a teeny-tiny problem with it."

His expression closed, brows drawing together. "Sin," he said heavily.

"No. I believe in Braska. I really think we can defeat Sin." She smirked and tapped his nose. "I meant something more immediate."

"Hnn," Auron grunted and lifted an eyebrow. "What are you cooking up now?"

She frowned, threading her fingers carefully through his hair and stroking his temples. "Don't close up like that. I liked how honest you were being with me there."

"I told you, I'm not in the mood for games," he attempted to grumble. It wasn't very effective, considering the way his eyes were fluttering closed under her careful massage.

"I'm being completely serious here," she said. "I like it when you open up to me. It makes me feel closer to you. The _real_ you." She sunk down lower and let her lips ghost past his temple as she spoke. "It makes me want to _be_ closer to you."

He twitched, finally catching onto her mood.

"And that brings me back to your problem," she said coyly. "How are we supposed to start a family together if we don't put any effort into it?"

"Effort," he repeated, cracking one eye open and looking at her.

"I hear raising a family can be hard work," she grinned, leaning back. He craned his neck, following her up. "Think you're up for it?"

"You tell me," he answered, reaching up and drawing her back down with a glint in his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose the title of this chapter just because I liked the sound of it, but it's actually a job title from Final Fantasy Tactics. Also, a shout-out to my husband, who was actually in a swordfighting group, for helping me choreograph Jecht and Auron's fight.
> 
> Ashura (Auron's Blade): Piercing, Counterattack, Magic Counter, Strength +10%


	55. A Place In The Sky

Wind blew across the vast expanse of jagged prairie; blades of grass swayed in the breeze, vivid green against the shockingly blue sky. Some were as tall as Rikku herself, and most hid the dizzying variety of wildlife that flourished in a land untouched by civilization.

Fiends also moved within the grassy sea, but the ones who _didn't_ get lost in the thrush were the worst.

Rikku shielded her eyes against the bright sunlight. _This untamed version of the Calm Lands looks as bad as it did before Argent settled into it._ Rin's Agency had yet to open, nor was there any sign of the chocobo trainer. _This place is way too pretty to be so cruel._

"...So you call this place the Calm Lands 'cause it's so peaceful-like out here?"

Auron adjusted the strap on his sword. "It is hardly _peaceful_. Some of the deadliest fiends in Spira gather on these plains. Be ready."

"Yes," Braska agreed. "The Calm Lands are indeed dangerous, but they are also the chosen battlefield for most summoners who face Sin."

Jecht frowned. "This where you summoners have your smackdown? The hell's so calm about it then?"

Rikku lowered her hand, a surge of anger overtaking her. _Gone… everything we worked so hard to change in the future, it's all gone._ "The summoners bring the _Calm_ to Spira when they die here," she said. "So, it only looks pretty on the surface. Once you stop looking at all that grass, all you can see are the scars."

Auron shot her a look, and she lowered her head, trying to control her frustration as they crested the hill. She'd hoped it wouldn't be as horrible as she remembered. _I'm right. It's worse._

"Come now. It really isn't as bad as you make it," Braska said.

It was exactly the wrong answer, given by exactly the wrong person, and all her attempts to reign in her panic-induced temper flew out the window.

" _I hate this place!_ " she exploded.

"Whoa, Blondie!" Jecht yelled, ducking her flailing fist.

Auron turned around and looked at her, concern writ across his face. "Rikku?"

She blew out a heavy breath. "Sorry. I'm a little mad, okay? I don't like being here."

"Please, calm down, and try to enjoy your time here," Braska said. "I grant you it _is_ dangerous, but this untamed wilderness is, in a sense, also raw and beautiful."

_What about death is beautiful?_

"I would not mind making our stand against Sin here," Braska continued. "It is a fine tradition."

An uncomfortable silence descended.

 _Well, this is great. Just like the first time with Yunie_ , Rikku thought bitterly. Being surrounded by all the supposed beauty of the Calm Lands and registering none of it, because she was too busy _freaking out_ about saving her fatalistic summoner's life.

"Ya had to go an' make it awkward, didn'tcha?" Jecht grunted, crossing his arms.

"It's not a summoners' graveyard in my time anymore," she said.

Braska's expression fell.

She balled her hands into fists. "We took it back and made it ours. It became a place for people to have fun and relax. And now it's all gone! Back to square one."

"Oh, so in the future it becomes a nature preserve?" Braska said, brightening.

"Eh… not exactly," she hedged.

" _We_ took it back?" Auron snorted. "You mean the Al Bhed settled here. Knowing your people, they likely turned it into an amusement park."

Rikku made a face. " ' _We'_ as in ' _all of Spira_ ,' for your information! The Al Bhed might have opened an Agency here, but it was actually settlers from Bevelle who set up the games – "

"Games?" Auron looked over the sweeping planes again, an expression of disbelief on his face. "You _really_ turned it into a carnival?"

She wilted a bit. "Well, it's sorta permanent…" Her voice shrank at Auron's incredulity and Braska's pained grimace, but gained a last hurrah from Jecht's rapt attention. "... and there's some betting games, too."

"Gamblin'!" Jecht cheered. "What else did ya do? You guys invent some kinda _land_ Blitz to bet on, maybe? Where you have to play it with your feet or somethin'?" He scratched his head. "What would ya call it? _Blitzfeet?_ No wait, _football?_ "

"That sounds so lame! Who'd want to watch a dumb idea like that?" Rikku rolled her eyes. "No, people come to bet on the lupine runs."

Braska choked. "You… you host _dog races_ on this sacred land?"

"Don't knock it!" she shot back. "I loved the way we changed things! We made enough noise so you could almost forget about all the people who died here."

Another uncomfortable silence fell.

This time, Jecht glared at _her_. "Alright. Enough broodin', you two. You _know_ how Auron gets when you leave him outta yer private parties."

"Jackass," Auron muttered. "Thank you for reminding me of their time together."

Braska cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should get a move on, after all."

"Yes. Why don't _you_ go ahead and scout for fiends," Auron replied.

"And dinner," Rikku added, pushing a surprised Jecht towards Braska. "Now be sure to take your time, you two! Bring back something good!"

"What? 'Ey, it ain't my turn today! Quit it, Blondie, you ain't the boss of me!"

"Oh, but _I_ am," Braska cut in, grabbing the Blitzer. "I believe I shall require a Guardian to assist me during my task, and I choose you, Jecht." He frowned at her. "So tell me, Rikku. How far out would be wise for us to venture?"

"The hell you askin' her for?"

"Rikku should be more familiar with this area than any of us," Braska said reasonably. "I trust her discretion in this matter."

Behind him, Auron turned and studied them. After a moment, the crease between his eyes disappeared, replaced by amusement.

"I'll send up a signal when we've found a good place to camp. You can turn around then, okay?"

"Of course," Braska said, prodding Jecht towards the greater plains. "You will remember to do so in a timely manner, I hope," he added a bit nervously. "Don't get carried away by your… _search_."

"Buh-bye!" Rikku replied, winking and waving at them.

They disappeared into the sea of grass; she wondered briefly if she was shirking her duties as a Guardian by sexiling her companions.

_Naw, Braska and Jecht can take care of each other. … Okay, that sounded totally wrong._

Auron's arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her head. "You don't actually intend to look for a campsite right now, do you?" It wasn't a question. "Should I even ask what method you used to chase off Braska this time?"

Smirking, Rikku spun to face him, returning his embrace. "Don't worry about it. You know, if we turn around and run, we might even make it back to Macalania before they notice!"

"Do you really hate this place that much?" he asked. "The future you described hardly sounds better than what we see now."

She exhaled, deflating. Yunie had thought so, too. Her cousin hadn't been at all pleased to be drawn into Rikku and Paine's heated competition over their favorite Calm Land factions. Yuna had been bitterly disappointed by many of the changes her Eternal Calm brought about. _I wonder if that was Auron's touch shining through._

"Ok. Maybe what we did was a little disrespectful." She shuddered. "But this whole place is worse, you know? It's not right to sacrifice people for a little bit of peace!"

"The sacrifices we've made here were never in vain," Auron countered.

"You really believe that?" She clenched her teeth. "A thousand years, and we're still putting all our hopes into Yevon's fairy tale. It would've worked by now if it was gonna work at all. It's a false hope!"

Auron's arms tightened around her. "But it's the only hope we have." He seemed to be struggling; she knew he didn't _want_ to know how this Pilgrimage was meant to end, but if she was a Guardian in her own time, he could easily draw his own conclusions. "... It's the only hope _I_ have."

As much as she wanted to yell that he was _wrong_ to place his faith in a belief that would only betray him, there was something in his voice that stopped her. His eyes were hard, but his expression pained.

 _Free will_ , she reminded herself. _Don't take that from him_. Frustrated, she dropped her forehead against his chest. "Being here makes me wanna puke. Maybe we _should_ leave. Maybe it'll make Braska think twice about this. You heard him. He's gonna kill himself right here!"

"We can't abandon him," Auron murmured. "He'd continue the Pilgrimage without us."

"I know," she sighed. "I just hate this place. I wish we could all just... run away. Go back to Besaid and live there instead, y'know?"

Auron bent down and kissed her; it was fierce and quick, as though he wanted to force them both to forget why they were in the Calm Lands.

He drew back and smiled as Rikku scrabbled to catch her breath. "Enough. I have no desire to dwell on the distant future when our immediate one is still uncertain. We still need a campsite, regardless of your motivations. Shall we start looking?" he rumbled, still leaning in; it made it hard to concentrate on his words.

"There's good," she managed, pointing in a random direction.

"... you aren't even looking," he said, amused.

"It's a big flat plain. Pick a spot, build a campfire, and we're good. What did you expect?"

"You to be slightly less transparent than Braska," Auron answered, releasing her. "I'm not about to strip naked at the entrance to the Calm Lands simply because you are impatient."

"Well, if you want to be all _Serious Business_ right now, I _guess_ we can look for a better place," she complained, crossing her arms. "But if we don't find a good spot in half an hour tops, I'm calling it a day!"

Auron grabbed her hand. "I'm sure we'll manage," he replied with a smirk.

She let him lead her away, grinning from ear to ear. Auron had always had a powerful aura of self-confidence, conscious or not. It was infectious; whenever they were together, none of their problems seemed insurmountable. She gripped his hand as they pushed their way through the tall, sweet-smelling grass and let herself relax.

A short while later, they'd covered a fair bit of distance over the fields, and the silence between them was beginning to stretch. She looked up at him, worry tickling at her. "Auron?" she prompted.

Something slightly lost had replaced Auron's usual expression as they walked down the hill hand-in-hand. "... This doesn't have to become Braska's grave," he said eventually. She could practically see him stamping out his rising self-doubt. "We will find a way, no matter what you believe lurks in the future." His hand tightened around hers. "We'll find a way to save you _both_."

She couldn't deny the flush of warmth that flooded her at Auron's words; even with his doubts, he clung to the steady belief that everything would end well if they just _tried_ hard enough.

 _I wonder if putting on the Samurai sphere would make me less cynical these days?_ It said nothing good when _Auron_ became the optimistic one.

Comforting as his conviction felt, however, it wasn't one she could completely share in. She'd tried to cling to that sort of blind faith during Yuna's Pilgrimage, after all, and it… hadn't ended well.

Clenching his hand, she let Auron pull her deeper into the valley, trying to silence her own doubts.

**.x.x.x.**

The stars shone brilliantly, almost as if the vast emptiness of the plains had coaxed them out to fill the void below. As much as she missed the hustle and bustle of Argent's gaming stations, Rikku had to admit the Calm Lands _were_ pretty.

They'd set up camp along the cliffside – a spot where the winds that swept across the open fields were blocked by both the mountain at their backs and the crumbles of a few fortuitously placed ruins. It wasn't quite as exposed as the rest of the plains and, with the addition of a small fire, easily defendable against wandering fiends.

That was apparently something they'd all needed, judging by the state Braska and Jecht had returned in. Though they'd been successful on their hunt, both men looked worse for wear. In particular, Braska's robes sported more than a few new tears; he must have taken her directive to _look incompetent_ to heart.

Feeling somewhat responsible, she'd offered to patch his things up. He'd agreed only after giving her a stern warning not to deface his ceremonial belt, peppered as it was with Yevon's holy symbols.

He should've known better.

Squinting in the fire's light, Rikku pulled her needle through the cloth and stifled a grin. _As if I'd back down from a challenge._

Putting the finishing touches on the garment, she shook out the belt and admired her handiwork: Yevon's all-seeing eye was looking decidedly more bloodshot than before, thanks to the decorative Al Bhed curse words she's sewn in red thread.

 _Tailor tax_ , she thought with smug satisfaction. _Braska can complain about it when he starts fixing his own clothes._ She dropped the belt back into her lap and gazed around the campfire.

Jecht was meticulously cleaning his sword – a habit he'd picked up from Auron – so carefully, it was clear he was still uncomfortable with it. Braska was conversing with Auron in low undertones, looking mildly worried. Sounds of their quiet conversation drifted by; they seemed to be discussing Belgemine's challenge and how to go about meeting it.

Drawing her legs up under her chin, Rikku frowned. _We need a better plan._ Her brief talk with Auron earlier had set the cogs in her mind turning; Braska was going to charge forward regardless, and Auron and Jecht would follow him. Sure, they'd gotten better – a lot better – since the start of the Pilgrimage, but they were still going up against Sin. And this time, they wouldn't have an Al Bhed laser cannon to back up their encounter. _We need to do more than just better._

There were two halves of the same answer glaring her in the face, reluctant though she was to address them. Belgemine was the lesser of the two evils; but to confront her, they'd need to find Yojimbo first.

And the other...

She could almost hear the wispy, deceptively frail voice. " _Nostalgia makes the heart feeble. It is the heart's… nemesis."_

Trema's words haunted her. When they'd finally discovered who – or, actually, _what_ – he really was, she'd been overwhelmed by her fear and anger at his betrayal. He'd fooled them all, wearing the mask of the harmless, friendly old Arena caretaker, and used that trust to destroy so many people's hard-won spheres. She'd been happy to help Yuna send him to his final rest, confident he'd made a terrible mistake _._

Now, in hindsight after her time with Auron and the others, she wasn't so sure he was wrong anymore.

_Right now, he's still just the friendly old guy tending the Monster Arena; Yuna's Eternal Calm is what broke him and twisted his purpose. As long as I don't kick up any trouble about him being dead, he'll help us train._

She thought about Trema in the Via Infinito, effortlessly defeating fiends that had given the Gullwings no end of trouble with his _bare hands_.

 _You know, on second thought, maybe I_ _ **don't**_ _want his help._

"Yo, Blondie! What's with that look?"

Rikku quickly scrubbed whatever expression she'd been wearing off of her face. She couldn't tell the truth, especially when it sounded so crazy. _We're stuck in a massive summoner graveyard, on our way to visit two of the most powerful Unsent in Spira to find couple of lost aeons strong enough to take down Bahamut, that's what._

"Blondie?" Jecht asked again, setting down his sword when she still hadn't answered.

 _Focus, Rikku!_ Gathering Braska's robes, she threw them at the summoner. "I just hate thinking about this place, that's all," she said tersely. "But we still need to be here."

"Now that is a change from your previous attitude," Braska noted. He donned his robes, pausing to inspect the belt. "... I can read these, you know," he groused.

"I know," Rikku said, regaining some of her cheer.

Braska sighed. "Why have you suddenly decided to support my journey when you so obviously detest this place?"

She swallowed down her unease. "Trema," she said, glancing at Auron, whose brows drew together.

"The former trainer of the crusaders? He's still alive?"

 _For a given value of the word._ Stifling a mad giggle, Rikku nodded at Auron. "He's gotten old, but he should still be running Lord Mi'ihen's Monster Arena near here. That's where I trained to fight Sin when I got my Godhand. I bet Jecht could use that place to practice with his sword."

"More fightin'?" Jecht groaned, putting away his weapon. "I was already doin' all the work out there by myself! We don't need no Arena when this place is crawlin' with fiends like that!" He glared at her. "And _you're_ catchin' dinner tomorrow."

Braska laughed uneasily. "It was not _that_ bad. And a bit of training could benefit us both. Even with that sword, you had no idea what you were doing against the Malboro earlier."

"C'mon, it was a solid idea," Jecht grumbled.

"You tried to counter its breath attack with a sprig of mint."

"You _what_?" Rikku blurted.

"...It might have worked if it'd landed in that thing's mouth like I planned," Jecht complained, flushing. " 'Sides! Wasn't like you were doin' any better, B! You kept tryin' to clobber me with your staff after it spit at ya!"

Auron was looking between the two of them, as though he couldn't decide who to lay into first. "You _both_ should know better than to take unnecessary risks!"

"I quite enjoyed myself today," Braska said valiantly, and Rikku had to give him credit for sticking to his end of the deal. If she hadn't known better, she might have actually believed Braska wasn't lying through his teeth.

As it was, he was wearing a belt that depicted a crude Chocobo squatting over a roundish-shaped holy symbol on his belt with great aplomb.

"It was invigorating," Braska finished.

Jecht was having none of it. "Really? You feel that way before or after the Chimera Brain knocked you out with the flamin' meteor?"

"What!" Auron yelled. "Jecht! What were you doing?"

"Dodgin'?" Jecht answered incorrectly, and yelped when Auron smacked him on the back of the head.

Braska's smile tightened. "I appreciated the learning experience. And I will duck next time..." He peered at Jecht. "... behind you. We are going hunting again together tomorrow, whether you find the endeavor agreeable or not."

Jecht met his stare, before swinging around to face Rikku. "A learnin' experience about how not to make bets with Blondie, right?" He glared. "Thanks for draggin' me into this, man."

Rikku inspected her fingernails. "I'm not the one who lost the bet."

"Technically, neither am I," Braska added. "I hope you'll forgive me for placing too much faith in your battle prowess, Jecht. You might even be able to say… you brought this upon yourself. By _not training enough,_ perhaps."

"Pull your own weight then, B!" Jecht growled back.

Auron cut them off. "You two are ridiculous. There is a reason I've told you not to gamble, my lord," he said to Braska, earning an annoyed tongue click. "Forget about the wager. From here on we hunt, travel, and camp together. As a _team_."

"Aww!" Rikku complained, but silenced herself when Auron gave her a quelling look.

"Serves you right," crowed Jecht. He froze mid-fistpump when Auron's glare landed on him.

"And you," Auron continued. "A visit to the Monster Arena would not be a punishment. You need to learn to control that sword. Visiting Trema is an excellent idea, if he's really here," he said. "The Arena was traditionally used to prepare warriors for battle against Sin. Your opponents would be powerful fiends, but in controlled conditions."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You guys could train safely without holding anything back."

" _You guys?_ Ya say that like you wouldn't be comin' with us," Jecht said suspiciously.

"I wouldn't," she replied, decision made. _I'm gonna avoid Trema if I can, even if he_ _ **is**_ _still 'sane.'_

"Wait, what?"

Ignoring Auron's surprise, she pressed on. "I've done my time at the Arena, thank you very much! Besides, I've got something more important to do here."

"What is more important than accompanying Braska on his Pilgrimage?" Auron asked, incredulous.

She couldn't meet Auron's eye. _He's not gonna like this._ Casting around for any excuse to delay the inevitable, she latched onto the first thought she had. "Well, finding a way into Remiem Temple, for one."

Braska blinked. "I thought you knew where it was?"

Nodding, Rikku picked at her boot laces. "Well… kinda. In my day, it was pretty accessible. You needed a Chocobo to get there, though, and I haven't seen one around here in ages. Not even wild ones!"

"Chocobos would be devoured by the fiends here more quickly than they could breed a sustainable population," Auron said. "... The same fate that could await you, if you tried to venture through the Calm Lands alone. I know you have confidence in your skills, but who is to say you wouldn't benefit from training at the Arena again with us as well?"

"Look, I can handle myself!"

"So you say," Auron murmured. "But this is about teamwork. There's always room for improvement."

"That's right! You don't get to slack off after what you put me through today, Blondie!"

"It's not exactly like I did nothing, either!" she huffed, gesturing at shelter they'd found along the cliffside. "If I hadn't been looking, we'd be camping out in the open right now. Do you really wanna do that now that you've seen for yourselves what's hiding in the grass?"

"It truly was fortunate that you managed to find this… den," Braska said placatingly. "I would have thought you too _preoccupied_ with other matters to search. How did you come across it?"

Rikku scratched the side of her cheek. "Well, it's funny, see…"

Braska's efforts to undo the stitching on his belt slowed, and he looked up.

"…This is where they host the dog races in the future."

Auron chuckled as Braska spluttered.

"Well, it'd be silly to let all this good space go to waste," she explained quickly. "They built the holding pens here. It's good shelter from the wind, and with that cliff right above us, you can have extra seats on top with a view of the entire course from above."

"We landed in the doghouse, ya mean," Jecht yawned and closed his eyes, leaning back into his bedroll and scratching an armpit.

"I can't think of a more appropriate place to kennel you, really," Auron deadpanned.

"Grateful as I am for the effort, must you really trample over all of Yevon's sacred beliefs?" Braska mumbled as he returned to restoring his defaced belt with renewed vigor.

"I was being thoughtful!" she protested.

"I am sure," Braska said, annoyed.

Her mood darkened. "You could be thoughtful too, you know," she muttered. "Like, ever think about calling this whole Pilgrimage off?"

"Rikku," Auron warned.

Braska held up a hand. "To be honest, yes. I did, once." He gave her a meaningful look. "It was a poor decision, as I believe you and Auron agreed."

Rikku dropped her face into her palms and groaned.

"And just when we were havin' such a nice time," Jecht called out, arms behind his head. He cracked one lazy eye open. "The hell is wrong with you people? We're already here now. Stop worryin' about the future so damn much. I'm too tired for another fight. Let's save all the plannin' for tomorrow, alright?"

"I hate you all for forcing me to agree with Jecht," Auron added, taking up his position for the first watch. "Lord Braska. Rikku. Drop the subject."

 _Easier said than done_ , she thought, but kept her mouth shut. Braska said nothing, plucking furiously at his belt with a deep frown etched across his face.

The ensuing tense silence, broken only by the sounds of the popping fire, wasn't much better than the budding argument. After a few moments, Jecht swore and sat up, rubbing his head. "Well, sleep sure as hell ain't happening now, so why don'tcha tell me 'bout them games they have here in the future."

Rikku crossed her arms. "I thought you didn't want to worry about the future."

"You put us up in dog pens and then started barkin' at B about his shitty life choices when he complained, Blondie. C'mon, stop bein' a bitch and throw us a bone here."

Auron twitched, and even Braska's grimace turned pained.

"Ugh, fine, just stop with the puns," she said. Maybe it _was_ a little wrong of her to needle Braska about his beliefs so much – whether with her words or his altered clothing – at least, in this place. "There were two agencies competing for business, so it was pretty lively. There were marketing campaigns all across Spira! Argent was led by a bunch of older people, while Open Air was run by kids younger than me – some former crusaders and Al Bhed working together. I put my weight behind Open Air, obviously," she added, "but Argent won and took over the entire industry."

"What? You didn't manage to get your way?" Auron cut in from where he was leaning against a stone pillar at the edge of camp. "I've always found you to be unstoppable when you have a goal in mind."

She flushed in pleasure. Jecht made gagging sounds.

"Well… it wasn't my decision in the end," she said. "Yunie wanted to give the older people something to look forward to, to help them embrace the changes going on. Open Air thought up most of the games, but they were still just a bunch of teenagers. She figured it'd be easier for them to start over if they lost, not like the people working for Argent."

Braska's hands stilled on his belt.

"When Yunie asks, it's hard to say no." She smiled half-heartedly. "And, sure, I liked Open Air better, but I guess I understood." More of her bad mood dissipated as nostalgia took its place. "The Al Bhed… we're used to starting from scratch, and the crusaders have always been pretty open-minded. But the Yevonites… they're kinda set in their ways." She shrugged. "Everyone deserves a chance to be happy, and even Argent's stodgy old handlers made things better than the way this place is right now."

She thought back on all of the times she'd spent with Yuna and Paine here – especially Paine's mad scramble to get away from Argent's hapless heir once she realized he was going to ask her to marry him. That had done more to ease the sting of losing than any of Yuna's heartfelt explanations about the people, really. _Those times were fun._

She came out of her musings to the stares of the other men. "What? You asked."

"Yunie?" Auron said slowly, looking between her and Braska. "As in Yuna? Braska's _daughter_ , Yuna?"

Rikku's throat closed.

"Whoa," Jecht said, blinking. "This story just turned trippy. So you and Yuna are like, what? Best buds in the future or somethin' ?"

"No, no, wait! You got it all wrong!" she said, waving her hands frantically. "It's not the same Yuna – "

"Rikku," Braska interrupted. "It's… fine." He turned to the others. "She told me before. Although..."

She gulped; she'd never _really_ talked about her relationship with Yuna to Braska, and she didn't want to start doing so now.

His tone sharpened. "You never did mention why Yuna might have need of a Celestial Weapon."

"You know?" Rikku blurted, then clapped her hands over her mouth. Damn that man and his ability to suss her out! _Okay, so maybe he's still a little mad at me._

"It wasn't difficult to extrapolate," Braska chided her. "The forest spirits could see into the future. _Your_ future. Bayra's own words were that I was familiar to them, but _not yet_ the chosen avatar." He smiled faintly. "I must admit to feeling very proud of my daughter, but… _why her_? What did you two face that required such strength? Was she also a Guardian in your time?"

Rikku could feel Braska's suspicion sharpening, and glanced over at Auron, who was watching her, stone-faced.

 _Sorry, Auron_ , she thought with a twinge of guilt. "Ok, I'll tell you a little, if you _promise_ not to push. There are some things I just won't say. It'd make things… complicated."

Braska's face lit up, but Rikku couldn't ignore Auron turning away from her. "Auron, c'mon. I know you don't think I should say anything, but this is important. Braska has the right to ask about his own daughter."

Auron snorted. "Do what you want," he told her, his disappointment almost tangible.

She questioned her judgement for a brief moment, before shrugging off his concerns. _I've already made my decision. Sorry, Auron._

Rifling through her memories for a safe story, she settled on their second-to-last mission as Gullwings – last, if she didn't count the grueling reunion Paine organized at Iutycyr Tower. "So," she began, licking her lips. "You guys never heard of Vegnagun before, right?"

As soon as she mentioned the name, her belt flared to life. Everyone started, and surprised, she looked down.

No; it wasn't her belt, it was Lenne.

The sphere pulsed erratically before fading, and Rikku sighed. "I guess this is actually Lenne's story, to be honest."

"She's an Unsent, right?" Jecht asked. " 'Cept with no body, 'cause she's livin' in that sphere?"

"Yes," Braska mused. "I thought I felt something different about that sphere. Another consciousness. It was almost as though she recognized me."

"Not you," Rikku explained. "Yunie. I found Lenne's sphere, but I didn't know what it was then, so I gave it to Yuna. And then Lenne, she… well, she kinda…" There was no polite way to say it, she figured. "She possessed Yuna."

"What?" Braska yelled, leaping to his feet. "My daughter was _possessed_ by an _Unsent_?"

"It wasn't that bad! Calm down!" Rikku waved Braska back to his seat. "Only temporarily. All Lenne did was make her dance and sing a few times. And only because she wanted to warn us of a new threat to the world. One as big as Sin."

"How many deathtraps does this place have?" Jecht asked in disbelief. "What can be worse than a flyin' man-eatin' super-whale fiend?"

"... the machina the people from Lenne's time built to defeat it. It went out of control and started destroying everything in sight." She cupped the Songstress sphere, which was radiating warmth. "Lenne died trying to keep Vegnagun – that's what they called it – from being used, and her boyfriend, Shuyin, was beyond mad about it. He was so angry he came back from the dead as an Unsent and went around possessing people, too. His spirit got sealed in a cave, but a thousand years later he broke out and tried to start a new war. He didn't realize that Lenne's soul was still here, trapped in this sphere. So, when we found her, Lenne asked Yunie and the rest of us to help her stop him."

Rikku fidgeted nervously, realizing she had everyone's attention. "... and, uh… we said okay, sure thing. It took over a year of Yunie, me, and our friend, Paine, running all over Spira before we managed to find Shuyin and Vegnagun, but… we did in the end, and then we killed it and sent Shuyin to the Farplane for good." She smiled sheepishly. "Y-R-P to the rescue! That was it, really."

The others' rapt attention faded into grimaces of annoyance.

"You suck at tellin' stories, Blondie," Jecht complained. "Where's the buildup? The drama? You can't save the world with Braska's little girl and leave us hanging on the details like that!" He paused. "And what the hell kind of a team name is _Yerp_? Disappointin', man."

"We called ourselves the Gullwings, dumbo!" Rikku seethed.

"Rikku's description was brief and to the point. We shouldn't press her for more," Auron argued, despite the dissatisfaction plain on his face as well. "But, there's one thing I don't understand. If Lenne's job is done, why is she still here?" His eyes dropped to the sphere in her hands. "Unsent are said to be tied to this world by an obsessive desire to accomplish a goal they failed to achieve in life. Why would Lenne's spirit still haunt that sphere after you defeated her enemy? Why was she still here in the first place?"

It was the same question Yunie had, and one of the main reasons she'd been eager to pass the Songstress sphere onto someone else. After all Lenne had done for them, it didn't seem right to try and Send her, or break the sphere – something Rikku was pretty sure would kill Lenne for good, no matter what she was. But her presence was still unsettling and her motives unclear, even if the spirit _had_ been an asset so far.

"I don't know," Rikku answered reluctantly. "But I can tell you that she's always helped me out, even here. I think she means well."

"The undead breed malice in their souls," Auron countered. "Especially if left to their own devices for too long. People fear them for good reason – it's inevitable that they'll develop a deep resentment of the living. You can't control that power, Rikku. That thing possessed you at the Moonflow, didn't it?" He trailed off, but his thoughts on Lenne were clear – he wanted the spirit _gone_.

 _Was that the real reason why Auron left_? _He didn't want to stick around and see what he'd turn into? But, what about Maechen, or Belgemine?_ They'd left willingly after Yuna had fulfilled their desires.

 _No. Not all Unsent are evil._ _ **You**_ _weren't bad_. Her eyes narrowed at Auron. _And with Lenne's help, maybe you'll never be Unsent, either._

"She's not evil and we're not gonna Send her anywhere," Rikku said stubbornly, trying to ignore the doubt Auron's words had raised.

In the end, Lenne _had_ tricked Shuyin into leaving by promising to go to the Farplane with him. And while there was no question that Shuyin himself was a gigantic raging ball of hate while he haunted the living world, the way Lenne had betrayed him still left her cold.

"I'm with Rikku here," Jecht said. "Sure, the dead chick is creepy, but she gets things done, yanno? Maybe that's a good thing. Havin' someone on the team who ain't afraid to break a few eggs to make the omelette."

"Just wait until you're the egg," Auron ground out. "I wonder how you'd feel then."

Jecht only smirked. "Been there, done that. We worked out our differences a while ago."

Rikku cut in before Auron could question him. "Look, Lenne was a summoner, just like Braska. Maybe that's why she's so good at reaching out to us from the sphere. She's been trying to beat Sin for a thousand years! Maybe _that's_ her focus. Shutting her out just because of our superstitions would be as bad as what the Church does! If Lenne wants to offer us her power, then I'll accept that risk."

"I do not like the idea much, but… she has proven to be a valuable aid to Rikku in the past, has she not? We will let her stay for now… and remain vigilant, for if she slips."

Auron's shoulders dropped in defeat. "Yes, my lord."

She chose not to point out that it wasn't their decision to do _anything_ to Lenne. Her ghostly companion seemed to have a will of her own, and no qualms about imposing it on whomever happened to pick up her sphere. _Better to keep her close than throw her away. Who knows what trouble Lenne might get up to on her own?_

Braska turned back to Rikku. "But, now that you've told us of the threat this _Vegnagun_ poses… perhaps we can do something to neutralize it? Now, before Yuna will be forced to face it?"

Rikku smiled faintly. _This was what Auron was really worried about, wasn't it? The human desire to meddle. And that changing the future might destroy me._

"Yunie can protect herself, Braska," she answered. "Besides, she'll have friends to help her out. She's good at that – making friends, I mean. It's not all that hard to save the world when you have your best friends supporting you." She beamed at the three men, bouncing in place. "Am I right or what?"

"Hnn," Auron said. Despite his attitude, even he was placing his fragile hope for Braska's Pilgrimage on her theory being right. "I suppose you may be, this once."

"Yo, I got a question for ya," Jecht said. "How'd you find Lenne's sphere in the first place? Just got lucky?"

"Not luck, _skill_ ," Rikku said with a note of pride. "The Gullwings were a sphere hunting crew. That was our job, to find and collect spheres."

"Sphere hunting? That is what Yuna chose to do in the end?"

Rikku nodded at Braska; this was safer ground. "She wanted to help Spira preserve its past, its history. Sin destroyed so much of it. You were a part of that effort for her, you know? She didn't want any of the High Summoners to be forgotten. Collecting spheres filled with other peoples' memories was the way we thought we could do that."

"I've always wondered why you were so fixated on spheres," Braska murmured with a note of admiration. "And here I thought it was because of your special belt. I hadn't realized your cause was so noble."

At this, Rikku reddened. _Maybe not such safe ground after all_. "Well, uh, about that…"

Auron groaned. "Spit it out."

"... I wasn't lying when I said sphere grid technology was widespread where I come from. I mean it's not _now_ , but it happens eventually. That's why sphere hunting is such a lucrative job. People want more than just the memories, they want the power, too. But spheres are pretty hard to find. The ones you make on your own aren't as good as the old ones that have been around for a while." _And with Macalania Forest dying, new spheres are a limited resource anyway._

"Nobility tempered by pragmatism. Why am I not surprised?" Auron turned a critical eye onto her belt. "That invention sounds like a worse idea the more I understand it. Human nature is driven by greed and self-interest. If they're widespread in your future, then it won't be long before people attempt to harness that technology for warfare."

"We don't use them to fight each other!" Rikku protested, then bit her tongue. Fighting other humans was actually the _first_ thing Leblanc did after she got her mitts on one. Copying the tech and selling lower quality grids en masse had been the _second_ thing she'd done. _But even Leblanc came around in the end, right?_

Auron shook his head. "Granting overwhelming power to the undisciplined will almost always lead to irresponsible usage and needless violence. Who invented this device anyway? How could anyone think spreading it to the population at large would be a good idea?"

Though it wasn't aimed at her, she still shrunk a little. It wasn't like he was exactly _wrong_ , but – "... the Gullwings invented these," she mumbled. At Auron's widening eyes, she shook her head, braids flying. "No-no-no, not me! I'm good, but I'm not _that_ good! My friend Shinra invented them. He's the genius behind the _original_ grid technology. But he never meant for it to get out the way it did! It was stolen from us, and by the time we got it back, well… mass-produced grids had already hit the market and it was too late. Sphere hunting got pretty cutthroat after that."

"Sounds like trouble in the makin' if you ask me," Jecht observed. "I gotta say, your future ain't lookin' so bright." He looked around. "Well, 'cept for them games, that is."

Rikku thought of Sin and Vegnagun. "The future's what we make of it. And I liked mine, even with all the sphere grids floating around," she added wistfully.

"Thank you for sharing that with us," Braska told her, before she could begin any more trips down memory lane. "I understand being so open does not come naturally for you, but we all appreciate your candor."

Blinking, she returned his smile. It seemed revealing a little more about herself to the others had smoothed over their minor spat, and she felt herself relaxing. "And… sorry about your clothes, I guess. I mean, _I_ like them better now, but I didn't mean to tick you off that much, you know?" Digging through her pouch, she handed Braska her tooling knife, which he accepted with a nod.

"So," Braska began as he resumed picking at his belt, "Now that cooler heads are prevailing, we really should discuss where we are to go from here. Rikku, I know you value your independence, but Auron is correct. It isn't safe to travel these lands alone."

Stalking closer to the fire, Auron still wasn't looking her in the eye, but he seemed mollified by her reconciliation with Braska. "We'll visit the Arena together first. Perhaps we'll find a solution to breaching Remiem without Chocobos during that time."

"I'm not going with you," she insisted, and the line of tension returned to Auron's shoulders.

_And we were doing so well…_

There was no getting around it. Swallowing, she faced him. "I didn't say I'd be leaving on my own."

Auron sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Despite the events of today, I suppose Braska and Jecht would be fine by themselves, thought what you expect us to accomplish – "

"I didn't mean I'd be leaving with you, either."

There was a beat of silence, broken abruptly when Braska cursed, the knife slicing into his hand.

"... uh, Blondie? You ain't makin' no sense here. You mean you're thinkin' of sending me an' _Auron_ to the Arena and runnin' off with Braska?" He squinted at her. "You got a deathwish or somethin'?"

"It's not a deathwish!" she huffed.

Jecht looked up at Auron's thunderous face. "Well, besides the fact that the Stiff is ready to kill ya, you gotta realize you and B are the worst fighters on the team. The monsters here are gonna cream you without us."

Rikku and Braska scoffed at the same time, then shared a look.

"Creepy," Jecht muttered.

Sitting down with a thump next to her, Auron glared. "Explain yourself."

"This wasn't my idea," Braska protested, stopping to cast a healing spell over his sliced palm.

"Not you. And shut up," Auron ground out without looking away from her. "Jecht has a valid point. You can't keep the Samurai sphere active for your entire time here, and you can't travel if Braska is in Rapture." He tried to modify the severity of his tone, with limited success. "I don't understand."

"It's not because of _any_ of you." Sighing, she scuffed her boot into the ground. "Look. It's just… it's Trema, okay? I mean, I know him. The _future_ him."

The displeasure on Auron's face eased into confusion. "Why? Is there something wrong with him?"

She was _almost_ quick enough to stifle the hysterical laugh, but not quite. _What's_ _ **right**_ _with him?_

Auron leaned back, and even Braska was paying attention now.

"We had a… little falling out," she said. "I know it hasn't happened yet, but… he's not the man you all think he is. He's not a good person. Not _really._ "

The crackling of the fire filled the silence.

"Can we trust him?" Auron asked slowly.

"For now. He won't let Jecht get hurt, I don't think. But I don't wanna take any chances. That's why _you_ have to go, too."

"Whoa whoa whoa! You think this Trema guy's gonna try somethin'?" Jecht sat up, looking worried.

"I hope not, but if he does, you both have to promise to run, not fight." She grabbed onto Auron's arm, gripping it tightly. "He's not as good as they say. He's _better._ "

"Better than me?" Auron asked, serious. He exhaled heavily when she nodded. "So you don't trust him around Braska either, then."

"Well, it's not that. I'm sure Trema would protect any summoner who fought in the Arena. You guys might actually be safer with him there. It's just that Braska needs to prepare for the visit to Remiem, too."

"You mean my duel with Lady Belgemine," Braska cut in. "But wouldn't that be best accomplished at this Arena, then? I could train my aeons to fight more efficiently there, alongside the rest of you."

"It's not about training. It's about Yojimbo." At their blank looks, she sighed. "Belgemine's secret aeon. His Fayth stone is hidden near the Arena, too. Sorry, but you _need_ to be there," she told him. "You can't beat her without that aeon, and I'm the only one who can take you to find it. Besides, we're going to have to backtrack across the entire length of the plains once you've gotten him anyway, since Remiem's in the opposite direction."

Jecht let out a low groan at that. "My feet are hurtin' already."

"I still don't see why we can't all do this together," Auron said. "It would be worth delaying the Pilgrimage for your safety. We've all battled Sin enough to know we'll need every advantage we can get. Or we can just avoid the Arena altogether, if you feel so strongly about Trema."

"No, we can't. Trema… he's kind of working with Belgemine," she said slowly. "You know that scepter she gave Braska? It really is a key… well, half of a key, and Trema's got the other half."

Auron slumped over. "Let me guess. It's the key to Remiem Temple."

She nodded. "If you can prove to Trema that you've got the will to fight Sin, he'll let you have the other half of the key. He's even tougher than Belgemine, though. She only tests the summoners. _He_ tests the Guardians."

"So you mean we ain't just fightin' to train, then," Jecht said. "This is gonna be a _real_ battle for Braska's sake."

"Listen, I know I'm not a close combat specialist like you guys," she told them. "But if we want Braska to have a chance against Sin, he needs us. I can't help you guys out in the Arena, but I _can_ help Braska find his next aeon. I have to do this."

"I still don't like it," Auron replied. "It's too dangerous out there. You and Braska are both masters of support magics, not direct attacks. Even with his Holy spell and your Samurai sphere, you'll be hard-pressed to defend yourselves against the fiends here."

"You might be surprised. We managed to get by somehow on Baaj," Braska said quietly. He'd resumed picking away at his belt.

Silence descended once more. Finally, Auron let out a low breath.

"I wish there was some way to keep you safe," he said.

"Well, hang on a minute. We still got other options, yanno," Jecht cut in. An evil grin bloomed on his lips. "What if Blondie here had _another_ costume to choose from?"

"What other costume?" Auron glanced at Rikku's belt with a frown. "She has four outfits, and only one of them is made for actual combat."

"Yeah, _yours._ See, she's got one of her, one of you, one of Lenne, an' one of me."

"Your point?"

"My _point_ is that somebody's missin'," Jecht finished, crossing his arms and looking smug.

Everyone's stare landed on Braska, who froze. "Eh?"

Rikku choked. "How is making a dressphere based off of _Braska_ supposed to help us in combat?" She ignored Braska's hiss of annoyance and squinted at Jecht. "You're not actually trying to help us out here, are you? You just wanna see what I'd turn Braska's personality into!"

"I have to agree. While it may be entertaining to see just _what_ exactly Rikku would create…"

Braska's hiss turned into an indignant squawk.

"...I don't see how adding _another_ white mage to the party would help them survive the Calm Lands without us."

"But, you know you wanna see it," Jecht sing-songed, still looking smug. "C'mon, everyone but Braska's had to put up with it at some point. Don't you think he should get a turn?"

" _Put up with it?_ " Rikku huffed. "They're your own personalities, you know!"

"Hnn," Auron said blandly, poker face straight.

Clearing his throat, Braska shook out his belt. "Well, this has all been very enlightening, but I'm afraid we can't test your theory, Jecht. Rikku would need to have made a decent recording of me before she could test it as a dressphere, and that just hasn't happened – "

The words seemed to die in his throat, and Rikku avoided his sudden gaze with a guilty look.

" _You didn't._ "

"Didn't what?" Auron asked, eyebrows rising. "Wait, you have a sphere recording of him?"

"You should have destroyed it!" Braska spluttered.

"Well, I couldn't exactly throw it away!" Rikku stage-whispered at him. "It sounded like your last will and testament!"

"Ha! See? What'd I tell ya? She's got one!" Jecht leaned forward. "You _have_ to do it now! Fair's fair!"

"Absolutely not!" Braska shouted, looking alarmed.

"Not on your life," Rikku said at the same time.

Auron and Jecht traded a knowing glance. "Grab her!" Jecht yelled as he leapt for Braska, tackling the other man.

"What– AURON!" Rikku screamed as he grappled with her, trapping her arms behind her back with one hand and rooting around her hip pack with the other. "This is betrayal! You're gonna regret this! You'll be sleeping alone if you do it!" she screeched, struggling to wriggle free of his tight grasp.

"I'd be sleeping alone if you left us at the Arena anyway," Auron countered. He pulled her pouch of assorted of spheres free and held them up. "Jecht! I have them!"

Rikku heard a muffled cry of indignation from Braska as Jecht's head popped up. "Great! Can you tell which one is his?" He grunted as Braska redoubled his efforts to escape from Jecht's full-body pin.

"Not really," Auron mused, doing his best to hold her back while sorting through her spheres. "We'll have to watch them all to find it."

"Wait!" Rikku yelled, abruptly stopping her efforts to claw off Auron's shoulder guard. _If Auron watches that sphere, we're all dead!_ "I'll cooperate, just let me go!"

Smirking, Auron released her. "I'm glad you've come to see reason," he said amicably, holding out the bag of spheres. "But," and he lifted the bag away as she tried to snatch it, "No tricks. If Jecht and I had to go through this, so does Braska."

Grabbing the bag out of Auron's hands, she sulked and quickly found the sphere she'd modified in Baaj. Rolling it between her fingers, she made one last attempt to wriggle out of her predicament. "But you know, you said it – it's not like we need another white mage, right? What good will showing it do, besides embarrassing Braska?"

"That's good enough for me," Jecht said with a grin, helping a sullen Braska regain his seat by the fire. "Remember what I had to go through when you put on mine?"

"But that was _you!_ Auron?" she tried one last time.

"Turnabout is fair play," he responded.

"Fine," Braska grumbled, doing his best to brush his robes out. "Do your worst. It's not as if the rest of you could humiliate me any more than you have already."

"Aww, c'mon, you know it won't be that bad," Jecht said as Auron joined them. "You're the most borin' square I ever met, B. No offense." The three of them watched her expectantly. "Well? We're waitin'," he added.

Rolling her eyes, Rikku removed one of her dresspheres and carefully slotted Braska's sphere into her grid in its place. "If this breaks my belt, I'm blaming all of you," she told them. Then, taking a deep breath, she activated the node.

A familiar cone of light surrounded her, and she felt the same sluggish resistance she'd first experienced when activating Jecht's sphere. The light wavered, and she struggled not to fight the energy that surged through her, to open her mind and accept the thoughts whispering through the recording on the sphere. She realized too late that it was a mistake.

 _I want,_ Braska's voice whispered to her. Hunger suddenly filled her; lust, of course, but more than just that – a crazed desire for everything she _wasn't_ , everything she _couldn't have_. It felt like every part of her that could tell her to _stop_ , _wait_ , _let's think about this_ was falling away into a self-destructive blaze of greed. _I'm tired of being weak_ , she thought fiercely, licking her lips. _If good girls finish last, then I'll do whatever it takes to win._

Stretching, she let the change finish and smiled provocatively across the fire at the three gaping men.

"B?" Jecht said faintly. "That don't look like no white mage to me."

"We need to talk," Auron growled to Braska, although his eyes remained glued on her.

Braska swallowed audibly.

"Whatever's the matter?" Rikku purred, stepping towards them. "You don't mind if I go a little _wild_ , do you?" She pushed herself up into Auron's personal space, straddling his legs, and placed her claws on his shoulders. "Wanna try me out?"

Auron's throat bobbed. He managed to tear his eyes away from her skimpy white bikini top, though his hands grasped her tattooed thighs.

She growled in disappointment, however, when he only pushed her away. _I'm not letting you off the hook that easily, loverboy._

"What are you wearing?" he asked, confused.

"Next to nothin'," Jecht helpfully supplied.

"And is that… _a horn?_ " Auron added, staring at her head.

"So, you noticed I'm a little _horny,_ huh?" she teased. "Give the man a prize. For your information, this is my _Berserker_ costume." A coy smile lifted her lips. "You know us berserkers. I hear we're really good at _pounding things_."

Braska groaned in dismay; his head was between his knees. "Just kill me now and get it over with."

"Oh no," Jecht said, slapping Braska on the back, his eyes still glued on her. "If I had to live through it, so do you, buddy."

Rising to his feet, Auron whipped off his coat and threw it around her. "Take off that costume. We've seen enough."

"Excuse you?" Rikku stepped back, yanking off his coat and throwing it back in his face. "You haven't seen anything yet! You want me to take this off?" She smirked suggestively. "Then make me." Lifting a clawed finger, she beckoned to Auron as she sashayed backwards, away from the firepit.

Growling, Auron threw down the coat and stepped towards her. "I have no idea what Braska put on that sphere, but it doesn't suit you. Deactivate that outfit right now, or I'll do it for you."

"Ooh, now that's a promise I hope you'll keep," she purred, waiting for him to approach. _Just a little closer, sexy. Right there –_ "Gotcha," she said, and he stopped, frowning.

Flipping backwards, she clipped Auron on the chin with her clawed foot. He went spinning, landing with a crash between a very surprised Jecht and Braska. Springing to her feet, she fell into a battle crouch, weaving back and forth and grinning madly.

"I told you to try me out," she sang. "Now now. Come on, it's not like I bite. Unless you _want_ me to," she added, lifting her arms into a loose boxer stance.

Auron stood slowly, rubbing his jaw. "You want to _fight_ me?"

"Well, what did you think I wanted?" she asked, batting her lashes. "Now, are you going to come over here and show me what a _big, strong man_ you are, or do I have to tease it out of you myself?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter comes from a quote by Erik Pevernagie:  
> "Is heaven a place in the sky? Heaven is what we wear in our heart and in our mind."


End file.
